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#constantly remixing paint....that is my fate
bmpmp3 · 2 years
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Snowstorm, 2022 Gouche on canvas 8″ x 6″
#art#traditional art#gouache#alternative title: mom said its my turn on the xbox#pretending im a serious artist who posts their art with just the caption instead of rambling about something unrelated for 400 words#jk im still gonna ramble in this tags#SO LIKE sometime last year (i think around april) it was super sunny with beautiful green grass and bright blue skys#and it started snowing#with the blue sky still showing. like those sunshowers in the summer where its sunny and raining at the same time#and it was just kinda a weird quiet and weird feeling standing outside in the green grass and the snow melting on my eyelashes#so i drew a sketch on a a little prepared canvasboard fully ready to paint#and then i didnt for like a year until this morning HJKFSDks#but i like it a lot! i think it looks cool. i forgot how much i love to paint with gouache#it dries so slow but maybe a heat gun can help fjkdlkjgfd also im like cursed and i can never mix anywhere NEAR enough paint#like i mix a colour and i paint a 1x1 inch area and im already out#constantly remixing paint....that is my fate#i think the reason i didnt finish this until now was cause for a while i was weirdly insecure about my weird cat thing drawings#cause i dunno i was like is it too basic. everyone draws weird cats. am i too basic#but this morning i thought about it. i can name like at least three historically significant artists who drew nothing but weird cats#i can draw weird cats if i want. im free. free to draw vaguely humanoid white cat things#we all have weird cats. we all have weird cats in side of us. let yours free
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mysaldate · 6 months
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i tried to take your vil analysis post seriously when i saw it in the tags because i enjoy his character as well, but the way you described the other overblots made me wonder if i went crazy. why was it necessary for you to misinterpret the other dorm head's + jamil's trauma to justify your favorite's? ALL of your summaries were incorrect. most significantly painting jamil as hypnotizing kalim for the dorms good. you can not convince me jamil living involuntarily as a servant for his entire life is a better fate than being typecasted in school plays. and then the way it devolves more in the end into a rook hate post? i don't like the guy either, but the only thing he did at the end of the chapter was judge his team (that was just put through the gutter) from an objective standpoint. furthermore, you can say that rook is a gaslighter for calling vil overweight and whatnot, but that is at best just plain rude. rook doesn't have nearly as much power over vil as you think he does. i'm sorry, i'm not saying that your entire point of vil being misrepresented should be overlooked, but you have to get your facts straight before you make large claims.
Wow, you just missed the entire point of the post.
And you missed what Vil's trauma really is too.
And you're calling an abuse survivor's testimony an overreaction.
I'll wager a wild guess and say you're an EN only player because the things you claim are incorrect are very explicit in the JP version of the game. The reasons I gave are reasons the overblotees used THEMSELVES to justify their behavior. Vil doesn't do this, he doesn't justify, he accepts he was wrong and that's what breaks him. Jamil used the "It's for the dorm's good" defense before he was ever ready to admit it was personal. Yes, it was. Nobody's saying Jamil didn't have a reason, and I am not claiming Vil's trauma is worse than Jamil's. In the first place, comparing trauma is stupid and damaging to both sides. Vil's trauma isn't being typecasted in school plays and if you think it is, you have either not read his story or you skimmed it as briefly as you have skimmed my analysis of it.
But sure, let's compare here. Both Jamil and Vil were systematically dehumanized since a very young age, just for different reasons. Jamil because of classism and Vil because of the way he looked. Both things they can hardly do anything about. This led to them both having deep-rooted insecurities about themselves while outwardly presenting as confident. Vil got physically abused because of this while Jamil was forced to taste-test for poison which landed him in a coma at one point. Is Jamil's situation more difficult to get out of? On paper, yes. However if you actually play the game, you will see that Kalim is taking active steps to improve Jamil's situation as much as he can already, and will probably take more in the future. In Jamil's case, having one person in his corner is enough because once Kalim takes over the family, he will have the ultimate sway over everyone's freedom. Vil's situation is a lot more complicated because it doesn't lie in the hands of a single person but rather a whole industry which is honestly unlikely to change.
As for your issues with me providing proof Rook is a gaslighter, it's not about calling Vil fat, which you would've known if you'd actually read the post. It's about purposely making Vil doubt his own senses (I look at you more than you do so I know you better), making him "choose" (Would you rather trust me or everyone else?), and saying that Vil will be isolated and forgotten if he doesn't do as Rook tells him (By the time they notice, it will already be too late). Same for Book 5's ending. If Rook was being "objective," he wouldn't have voted for a nursery rhyme remix where the dancers bumped into each other constantly because they couldn't have even been bothered to learn the choreography properly. He should've just said that he picked Neige because he likes him better. Not blame his very subjective choice on Vil's trauma response. Rook's gaslighting becomes clear once again in Vil's dorm uniform story where he lies to Vil and pushes him into not telling the Pomefiore students what he's doing for them because "Nobody but me would appreciate you anyway."
And, again, you are telling a real abuse victim that they are overreacting when pointing out the most blatant textbook definition example of the type of abuse they went through (among others, mind you) in recent media.
But what do I know, twstEN deletes most of this anyway so maybe that's why you're confused. At least, I want to assume that's what it is and that this ask isn't malicious. If you do play twstEN, I have a wonderful post compiling many of the differences between versions because BOY are there a lot and none of them good.
Next time, you can come off anon. I don't bite, nor will I harass you. I'm a working adult (you know, the ORIGINAL target group for the game) with better things to do with my time than to bother someone who can't even read what they're criticizing me for.
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cookiebunker · 3 years
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1, 7, & 18! (I love your header image btw, it's so majestic)
Ty for the ask! (bruh I paused at the PERFECT time it was fate 😂😂)
1. Favorite color(s)?
Oh god it's constantly alternating between pink/yellow/purple but rn I'd probably say pink!
7. Top 5 songs?
ASDFGHJKL OKAY UHHH this one was actually really hard but!! I think I narrowed it down? (tbh I'm still indecisive about this list this is 100% based on my current mood lmao)
Cosmic Love by Florence & the Machine
Good as Hell by Lizzo
Gospel of Dismay Remix by MiatriSs, original song by DAGames (super specific song remix I picked up from a speed paint video on youtube hello)
Would You Rather by Crusher-P
Hermit the Frog by Marina
18. Worst thing you've ever tasted?
If we're talking edible food I'd definitely say the oyster I ate while camping when I was sixteen (it was so slimy and goopy 🤢). If we're talking anything then either rotten milk or an actual worm 🤮
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killscreencinema · 4 years
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Final Fantasy VII Remake (PS4)
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We all have a precious work of art in our lives that made a profound impact on who we eventually grew up to be, whether it be an album, a painting, a movie, or especially nowadays, a video game.  Final Fantasy VII was that for me, and when it came out in 1997, it would go on to define my high school years.
Which would go a long way towards explaining why I never got laid during those said years.  Le sigh....
All kidding aside, I never got laid in high school mostly because I was a mess when it came to the social scene.  I had trouble connecting with others and taking what I perceived to be “big risks” like going to parties, joining after school clubs, or -GULP- asking out a girl I liked!  I was very withdrawn socially, but I did have friends, and one of them, whom I’d consider my best friend, managed to get his hands on the original Final Fantasy VII before I even owned a PlayStation (I had foolishly bought a Nintendo 64, believing the next Final Fantasy was going to be released on that). 
My friend and I were already very close, but we bonded even more as we experienced this new adventure together.  He had his own save file that he was pecking away at, but he created a new one for us both to play whenever I’d spend the night or vice versa.  The both of us were completely immersed in this world and these characters.  It was one of a few positive experiences I can remember from my high school years.
The reason for this preamble is to make you understand how much this game means to me on an emotional level.  So when the remake was announced years ago, I was extremely apprehensive.  First of all, Square Enix is a pale shadow of its former glory as Squaresoft.  Final Fantasy XIII was a goddamn mess and Final Fantasy XV was a step in the right direction, but hardly the stuff of legends like its PSone and SNES predecessors.  The Kingdom Hearts games... well, I’ll eventually talk about the rest of those in my blog.  Suffice it to say, I had completely lost faith in Square Enix as a company, whereas there was a day I’d play ANYTHING they released because I knew it would be quality.
So lets get to point - did they fuck up Final Fantasy VII Remake as well or is it an absolute masterpiece? 
Well... that’s kind of a hard question to answer right now as this is only “Part 1″ of what I assume will be a trilogy of releases that comprise the actual FULL game.  However, judging this game alone, I’m going to lean towards masterpiece... with huge “but”.  I’ll talk more about that below and warn of spoilers before I get to it.
Make no mistake about it, though, Final Fantasy VII Remake (part 1) is a goddamn masterpiece.  The care put into the game by the development team is evident from top-to-bottom, with even the most minute details from the original faithfully adapted.  However, this isn’t a strict beat-for-beat retread of FFVII, nor did I expect it to be.  While the game follows the basic story almost exactly, some tweaks have been made here or there to better pad out both the gameplay and the story as a whole.  I had no issue with any of these changes, until the final chapter revealed the implications of them, which I guess I’ll discuss next to get it off my chest...
SPOILERS
During the last chapter, your party is confronted by Sephiroth outside of Midgar, who then goads you into entering the “Singularity”, where you finally fight the ghostly “Whispers” who have been stalking you throughout the whole game.  These Whispers are a significant part of the new story “tweaks” that have been added, which I found annoying at first, but didn’t really mind so much as the story went on until now, because it is revealed that they are “arbiters of destiny”, whose jobs are to ensure fate plays out like its supposed to.  During your fight with them at the end of the game, after defeating each Whisper boss, the characters experience “flash forwards” to important story points in the future, such as Aerith’s death and the summoning of meteor, implying that they have more or less nullified these events now as a result of defeating “destiny”... I think.  Part of my problem with this portion of the game is Square Enix’s current “naval gazey, head-up-their-asses” story telling style is in full effect here, and I began to get Vietnam flashbacks to the completely incoherent plot of Final Fantasy XIII. 
Square Enix, it’s so simple - part of why Final Fantasy VII endures is because it’s a great story ALREADY.  By all means, give it a tweak here and there to give the characters more depth or make the story more dramatically impactful, but for the love of Jenova, please don’t tell me it’s going to turn into a philosophical shit show about the nature of destiny and fighting fate.  More importantly, Square Enix, please don’t tell me you are going to change CRITICAL plot points for shits n’ giggles or to “swerve” the audience.
For one, Aerith has to die. I love Aerith, especially his incarnation of Aerith in the Remake.  She’s so sweet and yet has a delightfully mischievous personality.  She’s absolutely perfect.  But the reason why her death still haunts fans of the game to this day is because THAT was the point in the story when shit got REAL.  The stakes were raised and Sephiroth cements himself as an evil son-of-a-bitch that must be stopped.  He doesn’t kill her just to be evil either - he kills her because she’s actively trying to foil his plans by using her white materia.  However, unbeknownst to Sephiroth, her death is what ultimately triggers the white materia to work when it needs to most.  It’s kind of like how Obi-Wan Kenobit warns Darth Vader “If you strike me down, I’ll become more powerful than you an imagine”, but in this instance it actually makes sense.
So that has to happen.  It can’t be Tifa, or Yuffie, or Cid, or Marlene, or some other swervy “gotcha” bullshit - it has to be Aerith. 
Secondly, Sephiroth must successfully summon the meteor - it’s in the fucking logo for crying out loud!  I can’t imagine what “imminent threat” for the whole world they could do instead.  Fat Chocobo gains a massive amount of weight and jumps on Midgar?  It’s baffling to imagine the developers would even *flirt* with the idea of changing these important story elements of the game, so hopefully we’ve all just hysterically misinterpreted the meaning of the last chapter.
Oh, one more thing - the final boss fight with Sephiroth was dumb too, if only because it cheapens the eventual actual final boss fight with him at the end of the game.  I liked how in the original he was basically a phantom that kept evading your party, leaving behind Jenova pieces for you to fight instead.  It’s like how in wrestling, a heel character talks tough, but then runs away when the “baby face” comes out to confront him.  Fighting Sephiroth now, not to mention beating him, kind of makes him look weak sauce.  Ohh legendary SOLDIER, my ass - I beat him at the beginning of the whole story.  To borrow from Star Wars again, it would be like Luke fighting Darth Vader in A New Hope and kicking his ass immediately.  Vader sure wouldn’t seem like much of a threat after that.
Anyway..
SPOILERS OVER
God, sorry, this review is out of control and much too long, but I have a lot to say!
Okay, so my worries above aside, the game itself is very well done.  The graphics are beautiful, despite the environment being a constant barrage of grey, industrial imagery (hey, that’s Midgar for ya).  They find ways to change things up visually, depending on what part of Midgar you’re in, such as Sector 5 having more greenery than usual (cause, you know, it’s Aerith’s home, so that makes sense!).  Wall Market, the “red light district” of Midgar, is a treat for the senses, especially at night, what with all the lights and the music playing everywhere.  It really feels like a lively, party town. 
One major change that had me, and probably a lot of FFVII purists, concerned is the combat system.  Gone is the turn based combat of old, replaced now with a more fast paced hack-n-slash style reminiscent of a From Software game than Final Fantasy (though not even as remotely as sophisticated).  However, I enjoyed the change, as this makes the battles much more engaging and fun, as opposed to the tedium that can come with turn-based combat, not to mention random encounters.  You can still use magic, items, and Limit Breaks like in the old days, so it still feels like the original, but with tweaks that make it better.
And you know, that pretty much sums up my super long review nicely - the game feels like the original but with tweaks that make it better.  Even the soundtrack is improved, which is a feat I didn’t think possible considering the original FFVII’s soundtrack is some of the best video game movie ever composed.  The Remake does a superb job of weaving in certain themes and remixing themes at appropriate points in the story.  “Aerith’s Theme” is more tear jerking than ever, while “One Chosen by the Planet” (otherwise known as Sephiroth’s theme) is even more chilling and fearsome than ever before. 
So overall, I fucking loved this game.  I rarely get emotional while playing video games, unless you consider cursing and screaming “emotional”, but damned if this one didn’t constantly give me warm and fuzzy feelings (especially whenever Tifa was onscreen - *growl*).  I’m eager to play the next part and explore more of this “new” world, despite my concern it might be “too new” in the worst ways.
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