#clara the impossible girl

[thetruthlsoutthere]

Weirdness around Oct. 24th, 2021

this was a message i made to someone, a friend in this belief, on this day, around the afternoon after 4 pm. click on the read more link because it's long. This was my half of a conversation with someone so only focus on that, okay? okay.

::::: i have always felt it strongly, espeially more since that point and its flaring up really bad right now like intense. im trying to calm my breathing but i have to tell you. i am freaked out O_o

first off, my senses: my hearing is so freakily good - like based on whatever sound , even if it's talking, regardless of volume but especially if its to the point of under someones breath or whispering, i can hear it perfectly as if they are right next to me. thats the hearing . its always been like that

the sight: its like i almost dont even need my glasses anymore because given a 10 rating, my sight is more than that or exactly that and my glasses help better but its like i could be without them now and i can see everything with freakishly good clarity

the touch: i mean, plain and simple, down to perfection, thats an obvious

taste: same thing

feeling: thats the same as touch and taste but its like similarily , it feels more intense for me, everything/ living like you feel it normally as a human but its like idk, i dont know how to explain. it scared tf out of me

i was looking through one of the "Doctor Who' books i have, and i cant begin to express how much i felt a homesickness, sense of loss and pain and feeling of deja vu at the pictures it showed of Gallifrey, other places, the Tardis, other alien species and felt like i was home, like i had been there, like i had been among these species of aliens

im always watching and looking for anything strange, especially with close perimeter of where i live and im almost waiting for that door thing to happen again bc i still hear things outside and the strange lights in the sky, one in particular that feels like it could not be a star among any of them. the weird lights that are definitely not stars and the way theyd act, the movement, hearing things and the wierd lights on ground level like something among the trees, the animals sensing and even the baby sensing things in and outside the home that no one, even me, can see

references to Gallifrey, timelords and ladies, time and space, traveling, the Doctor, the Master, popping out everywhere, the name Clara too, same thing with 'ravens', the silent calls too have been constant lately. lets not even get started on my dreams and the meanings they seem to be sending

and from the begininning to now still: the sense of its like there is a home here, but i dont know how else other to describe it in a sense that like an object, youre here among it all so in a snese you are home but your NOT home because this isnt your home, this isnt your origin. I feel so disconnected / disassociated, like I'm here but I'm not really here. A sense of loss and feeling like there is something huge missing, because if this was truly a home HOME then i wouldn't feel like what really is, isn't here. Im trying to explain it a best version possible

countless of times, i look at this human family of mine and i think : yes that's my mom or my sister or my nephew or my brothers but its like thinking from their perspective and how they'd see me in comparison from me to them, there is a sense of difference that comes with that if only they knew, or that disconnection

the sense of what life might really be and the answers known and unknown , how it will affect my future and what they would find out and have to accept and deal with? that alone is just -

the reptitive numbers have been constant with 222, 111 or 11:11, or 1:11, 333, 444, 555, 777, 12:12, 10:10, etc. and that whole thing where my chest seems sensitive and more weird, i felt my chest, and i could have sworn by everything in me, that i felt a second heart. i know the placement of where the human heart is in the body and so based on where the second heart could be put, i felt the beats of it

and seemingly all around, i COULD be human but to experience everything i have and do, points to that i may be right now or , am put into a state where it will seem like that but im not and that i cant eveen begin to explain as to how that would make sense to another person's brain

and of course, i am never going to claim that i know every single little thing of information in the known and unknown parts of the entire universe but i feel like human or not, my knowledge over a lot is getting better and many a times, people have come to me to learn and know things and get advice and i have been seeing the shadows again and mention of the Darkness.

hearing of weird and strange things/inhuman things through music with other normal things that don't make sense to be added together because they don't relate. among the various incarnations that the Doctor and Master, and other timelords/ladies have - i seem lately to have gotten specific incarnations of them popping out to me

i feel like i know who i am, who i could be, what its seeming to be like i could be or definitely am, but at the same time, i am feeling such a loss of identity yet because of the definite and possibilities and the possibilities that seem more likely than the rest, i feel like i know more than i ever did because you know more as time passes obviously

but i want to get this out so i can finally tell you and you can read it all and respond to each accordingly. i hope so badly im not alone in this. there is more to tell but i am so freaked out at how strong and intense of a flaring feeling i am getting of it

like i am literally in transit, in a half way point phase where i am neither here or there. Like a waiting period at the point of change but that thing to fully ram into it and have it skyball has just not ha[need yet

like im home here on Earth but i am not really HOME

I also have heard weird noises and seen split second weird flashes in the sky as well as the sound of aircraft but when i look in the sky, even among the clouds or lack therof any , I see nothing so maybe there is the ability aboard the c raft or whatever causing those noises to be able to hide themselves so no one can see them

people, even strangers staring at me in ways like there is something off or something drawing them to me and they are waiting for something

there are times, which isnt a new feeling but seems to have increased lately as well, is how when i speak, its not of someone my age for the most part and i will speak as if i am not from here like I'm waiting for something, or on the move , or wanting to go home. I even have said to my family that my home is among the stars but they brush it off as silly or me being a weirdo dork.

dont even get me started on how strong the feeling is , is that whenever i see my gallifreyan fob watch necklace and knowing its a fake, my mind goes to the real one which gives me the feeling of not wanting the fake and feeling a want, need and urgency to find the real one

my sister had even asked me , if i was happy here: i said yes because i am but in this weird, strange, unexplainable / ufo/aliens / paranormal, etc. life, i feel a happiness and a sense of peace and home i don't elsewhere. You can have a home like feeling for more than one place obviously

its not like i dont love, care for and appreciate everything in this normal life as well as strange life because i do equally, I'm just acknowledging what i think, know and feel about this life too

and im never going to lie about what i feel because the truth cant be shied away from no matter how hard one tries; trying to make sense of who or what i am makes sense as to why i and even you can answer some questions but not all bc we might have what could be any memories back but if any of those are even memories then we obviously don't have all back

______________________________________________________________

Make of this what you will.

#old experiences #weird things #the truth is out there #doctor who is real #the doctor is real #i believe in the doctor #searching for the doctor #project hello sweetie #the darkness #the master #clara oswald #clara the impossible girl #gallifrey

[tonsillessscum]

#ridoctorwho #doctor who #River song #twiver #yowzah #twelfth doctor #melody pond #alex kingston #Peter Capaldi #whouffaldi #Jenna Coleman #twelve x clara #twelveclara #clara oswin oswald #clara oswald #impossible girl #thirteenth doctor #13th doctor #12th doctor #dw spoilers #missy doctor who #doctor who spoilers #michelle gomez #jodie whittaker

[genderqueerpond]

We don't talk enough about the fact that Amelia Pond, s5 Amelia Pond, before the timeline is reset, isn't just a normal orphan. Her parents didn't die, didn't abandon her, and didn't send her away. They never existed in the first place.

And if her parents never existed, then Amelia cannot exist. She is a causal impossibility.

"People fall out of the world sometimes, but they always leave traces." A photograph. A face carved into an apple. Yes. Sure.

A child.

Now that's too big, surely.

But that's what she is. She is exactly the same as these things. A trace. An echo of something that could never be, never was, never could have been.

And the universe should never allow it. A whole person, that's just too much. She could not have continued to exist indefinitely, in normal circumstances, after her parents never existed.

In normal circumstances.

Because the Doctor didn't just save her from things coming out of the crack in her wall. He saved her from going into it. And he didn't just save her from the threat of going into it simply because of its vicinity.

No, by arriving when he did, he interrupted a process that was probably already in motion. And then by arriving again only moments later on a cosmic relative timestream (too quickly for the process to complete) and yet in the local relative timestream, years later --- years of a potential future caught midway through the process of rewriting -- he solidified that existence. Amy is a creature from another timeline, caught in amber. The Doctor prevented her from never existing, but only after she could already never exist.

And so, no one around Amelia thinks about it. Neither does she. There's some kind of consciousness block, because if you thought about it, really thought about it, for two seconds you'd realize she cannot exist. And the human mind can't deal with that. So, to protect itself, everyone's brain simply slides off it before ever noticing. They just assume that her existence makes sense, and don't question it, and don't notice what they don't question, that is staring them in the face.

But of course, to some extent they do notice. They can't think it, but they notice subconsciously that there's something they can't think. They notice there's something wrong with her, something uncanny. And they don't like it, and they alienate her even more because of it.

"Does it ever bother you Pond that your life existence doesn't make any sense?"

#like!!!!!! why arent we talking about this!!!!!!! #amelia pond #amy pond #the ultimate autism metaphor on top of being autistic anyway #doctor who #dw #ndw #dw theory #lavender thoughts #SHE CAN'T EXIST SHE IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE #you called clara the impossible girl but that's amy #and THEN the fact that even after it's all set right #she remains shaped by -- remains deeply traumatized by -- a timeline that never happened; a reality that never was #AUGH !!!!! #some wounds just can't heal even if the thing that caused them never existed in the first place #some wounds remain as a TRACE of the other time just as you yourself were once #THE mental illness rep of all time #and in the big bang of course the doctor had to take the shortcut because if they'd all gone the long way round #she'd have been gone before he got there #as starless universe's little amelia disappeared.... it could be millienia but from another perspective it HAD to be moments #they made it only in the nick of time #and the doctor knew that #pond #the life and times of amy pond

[thefiresofpompeii]

a transgender clara echo by the name of lee harvey oswald assassinated US president jennedy fennedy kennedy on 22 november 1963. he was protecting the ninth doctor

this was of course vital to preserving the timeline so an unearthly child could air on english national television the following day

#you can do what you want forever #autism <3 #doctor who #dw #clara oswald #the impossible girl #ninth doctor #eleventh doctor #jenna coleman #jamie catches up #jamie.txt #faction paradox

[thekingofspin]

#she drives him crazy alright #infact she drives him to the point of madness where he ignores all his morality and commits atrocities beyond his own imagination #just because of how crazy he drives him :) #isnt that sweet :) #my sillies #doctor who #dr who #12th doctor #peter capaldi #the doctor #clara oswald #whouffaldi #twelveclara #12clara #jenna coleman #impossible girl #whouffle #11clara #elevenclara #11th doctor #matt smith

[celmoth]

The Wolf & the Raven (based on this post which inspired me very much)

#doctor who #rose tyler #clara oswald #bad wolf #the impossible girl #fan art #art #drawing #dw #face the raven #celart

[questioning049]

>Brought light to his life once more after he suffered the depressing loss of what was his first family in centuries.

>Lived thousands of lives and likely sacrificed herself in most of them to protect him, and she has done this since even before he started traveling.

>Saw him at his lowest point and motivated him to save his planet instead of doing the mistake that would haunt him for centuries.

>After spending centuries fighting with no hope, thinking his death was fated. She still managed to rewrite the timeline to give him 12 more lives, and she could do it because she loves and accepts the person he choose to become.

>Saved his life in many other occasions.

>Has all the traits he loves in a person. Brave, caring, funny, mysterious, intelligent, etc.

>Canonically complements his personality perfectly.

Yeah, no shit The Doctor spent 4.5 billion years punching that wall for her.

#clara oswald #impossible girl #whouffaldi #whouffle #elevenclara #twelveclara #heaven sent #12th doctor

[lesbians-4-shivroy]

"Clara is a toxic manipulative pathological liar and a horrible person"

ok? she's also a control freak. and yknow what i am? a bottom

#this post came to me in a prophetic vision #(i was standing in my kitchen at 1am eating cocoa puffs) #why would i try to fix her when i think whatever's wrong with her is much sexier #if it ain't broke don't fix it #clara oswald #the impossible girl #clara oswin oswald #oswin #dr who #doctor who #12th doctor #twelfth doctor #eleventh doctor #11th doctor #whouffaldi #whouffle #twelveclara #elevenclara #jenna coleman #peter capaldi #matt smith

[xiaobunnn]

Twelveclara art trend on twt

#fanart #art #digital art #doctor who #doctor who fanart #twelfth doctor fanart #jenna coleman #peter capaldi #12th doctor fanart #whouffaldi #impossible girl #heavent sent #hell bent #souffle girl #twelveclara #12clara fanart #clara oswald famart #clara oswald #12th doctor

[dontbelasagne]

"one thing, give me those big sad eyes..."

Doctor Who (Face the Raven / Heaven Sent)

#doctor who #dw #peter capaldi #twelfth doctor #12th doctor #twelve #the twelfth doctor #jenna coleman #clara oswald #the impossible girl #whouffaldi #nuwho #series 9 #doctor who series 9

[flecker-illustrates]

You should get used to seeing Clara on here, I have a few more drawings of her to crank out :)

#my art #doctor who #jenna coleman #clara oswald #clara oswin oswald #dw #bbc doctor who #doctor who bbc #the impossible girl #clara oswald fanart #jenna coleman fanart #doctor who fanart #doctor who art #dw fanart #dw art #fanart #art #sketch #sketchbook #illustration #portrait #artwork #drawing #fandom art #traditional art

[ohhamlet-art]

new hobby collecting crinkly clara oswalds to put in my pocket

#some excerpts from my ongoing quest to try and understand how the fuck to draw her #jenna coleman u are an enigma #keep it up #clara oswald #doctor who #dw #doctor who fanart #dr who #dr who fanart #mummy on the orient express #dw fanart #doctor who art #twelfth doctor #12th doctor #impossible girl #nuwho #ohhamlet art

[tonsillessscum]

#ridoctorwho #doctor who #dw memes #dr who #Martha jones #freema agyeman #River song #alex kingston #melody pond #theta sigma #the doctor #eleventh doctor #Matt smith #the impossible girl #Clara Oswald #clara oswin oswald #Jenna Coleman #twelfth doctor #peter capaldi #bill Potts #pearl mackie

[thefiresofpompeii]

i have a maybe lukewarm maybe hot take about this godforsaken show that some people could find mean, but i stand behind it, no elaboration (okay, some elaboration in the tags below… a lot of elaboration)

opinion: if you claim to like clara’s dynamic with the doctor and her character development in series 8 and 9, but simultaneously say you hate the impossible girl arc/elevenclara, you don’t actually understand anything about their relationship and what makes it the way that it is

#elaboration: it’s about the parallels. it’s about clara being the object of a mystery; the subject of a story VS writing her own story from #the name of the doctor onwards: refusing to become a puzzle box but taking it a step further and seeking to become the author of the #puzzles. it’s about her being chosen by missy all that time ago; because she was; among everything else; an avatar/projection of her #complicated feelings for the doctor in a way. a proxy that doesn’t know they’re a proxy #it’s about the mirroring of the impossible girl arc and heaven sent/hell bent! clara choosing of her own free will to splinter her identity #into millions upon millions of shards; dying over and over in every reality to save the doctor. compare to: the doctor choosing to spend #millions upon millions of years killing himself; dying over and over for the chance to save his clara. #the intertwined devotion! the complexity of their codependency! none of that would have developed the way it had if not for #clara being eleven’s impossible girl. she had to be a ghost story before she became a love story; and aren’t those two one in the same; as #stated in hide? #clara oswald #the impossible girl #twelveclara #whouffle #whouffaldi #doctor who #dw #peter capaldi #matt smith #jenna coleman #twelfth doctor #twelve #eleventh doctor #eleven #jamie catches up #jamie.txt #elevenclara

[linguistwho]

Phonetic Gallifreyan Weekend - Sentence 59:

"Run, you clever boy. And remember..." - Clara

#gallifreyan #doctor who #The Linguist #GalliPhon #Clara Oswald #Oswin Oswald #NuWho #Eleventh Doctor #Clara Oswin Oswald #Impossible Girl

[ethan-nestor-owns-my-heart]

Accurate representation of Doctor Who series 9:

#doctor who 2005 #doctor who 9 #doctor who series 9 #doctor who #12th doctor #twelth doctor #peter capaldi #clara oswald #Clara oswin oswald #impossible girl #jenna coleman #jenna louise coleman #bbc doctor who #the doctor #Clara #the sex lives of college girls #renee rapp #doctor who memes