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ajgrey9647 · 8 months

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Prancing and Twirling into Madness

Skinny legs dangled from the hard chair, swinging in nervous anticipation as the child sat in the waiting room between his ‘parents.’ Both adults glared at the boy from the corners of their eyes, annoyed at having to take time out of their day to spend yet another afternoon in a doctor’s office. The place smelled of antiseptic cleaner, new plastic, and the odd scent of cherries, making the cowering Tommy think of the lollipops on wooden sticks the physician gave him at the end of a visit.

The windows gave a wide view of a dark grey, cloudy sky, ripe with rain and approaching lightning. A scattered swatch of icy drops spotted the glass in a swift burst of turbulent wind. A clock ticked away monotonously in the background.

“I can’t believe we’re back in here, Thomas,” his mother hissed under her breath, eyes on the front desk receptionist. “Why? Why can’t you act ‘normal’?”

His father’s eyebrows were knitted together like one large fuzzy caterpillar, his face a florid red with barely contained anger.

“Jesus Christ, how old are you again? That was the third kid you’ve bitten this year!” he whispered, the tone an icy calm, his hands gripping the armrests so hard his knuckles were white.

‘He’s going to beat the shit out of me when we get home,’ Tommy worried, trying not to shake, fighting the frightened tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks.

Tears would only make things much worse. The man hadn’t yet succumbed to the joys of drink as he would in later years when Tommy reached his younger teens. During this early period, Mr. Oliver was quite strict and controlling, demanding the little boy be a model of perfection despite his chaotic background.

Impatient and given to fits of rage when he became irritated, he had no qualms taking a belt to his adopted son’s bare skin when he felt he needed ‘correction,’ as he called it. And, in his opinion, Tommy required much in the way of correcting. He often opined that opening his home to the unwanted child was a huge mistake.

Mrs. Oliver was not a source of comfort nor a protection from her husband’s anger. The woman couldn’t understand maternal instincts, having her greatest love being herself. She had a fondness for attracting the attention of other men, causing Tommy’s father to erupt in jealous fits of screaming and yelling. Normal tasks such as cleaning, cooking, or otherwise being present bored her greatly.

Leaning over towards the intimidated child, he muttered under his breath.

“You better keep your mouth shut when we get back there about how I run my household. Do you understand?”

His breath was hot on Tommy’s pale cheek.

“If you embarrass me, I’ll really make it hurt when we get behind closed doors. No one’s going to believe a bratty, selfish little shit like you anyways.”

Mrs. Oliver rolled her heavily made up eyes and rummaged in her purse for her compact mirror. Her moist, red lips sneered in the child’s direction.

“Its no wonder why your mommy didn’t want you. You’re obviously broken,” she smirked. “Other children don’t act like you do.”

Tommy’s eyes and nose began to burn with the effort of shoving down such mental anguish. Bright pink splotches colored his face and he pulled his knees to his chest, curling into himself.

A strong hand cuffed his shoulder roughly.

“Sit up straight!” his father harshly admonished, glancing over at the receptionist bent over the deck, a phone tucked in the crook of her neck.

Dutifully, Tommy lowered his scrawny legs back down, shoulders straightening from their hunch with effort.

“The school counselor said they can’t let you back in the building until you have this evaluation. You had better get that head out of your ass and pass with flying colors. We’re getting really tired of your shit, Thomas,” Mr. Oliver continued, his knuckles cracking subtly as they squeezed the chair.

The latest phone call from the school had very nearly caused the child to have to remain in bed for several days. Biting wasn’t the only offense Tommy had committed while in the classroom. There was a whole laundry list leading to the counselor’s stern instruction for a physical and mental evaluation to determine a cause for the boy’s behavior.

Teachers commented on his withdrawn and negative demeanor, his lack of focus on schoolwork, his failing grades, and his inability to get along with other children. They had been forced to send him to the principal’s office on several occasions for his crass language and uncooperative behavior. Nothing seemed to be able to get through to him.

And now, here Tommy sat in a doctor’s office with his parents, the first of many he would have over the years until he grew into Rita’s evil Green Ranger.

Heaving a sigh, Mr. Oliver adjusted himself in his chair and looked over at the door to the patient rooms with annoyance.

“I don’t see why this is taking so long,” he commented loudly.

Sliding over the edge of the chair, Tommy’s shoes thumped on the thin, plain carpeting of the waiting room and he wandered over to the small bookcase in the corner. Settling down on his knees on the garishly colored rug, he perused the cracked spines of the slim children’s books lining the shelves. The boy could literally feel the weight of the adults’ eyes on him, their anger and annoyance palpable.

He licked his lips nervously, tongue dry and grabbed a tattered hardback tome at random. It was a rather thick volume, not necessarily a child’s book but according to the faded gilt letting on the cover, it was a collection of fairy tales and folk lore from around the world.

Tommy scrunched his face in derision.

‘Fairy tales?’

What garbage! Mere entertainment for soft minded, naïve youngsters.

Cracking open the book for lack of anything better to do while he awaited his turn on the paper-covered table, Tommy skimmed the first few pages lethargically. But as he flipped through the various ethereal stories, the child became captivated, not just by the stories but the otherworldly illustrations on the adjoining pages.

Grand adventures, princes and princesses, winsome animal companions, witches, and magic; images flooded his mind and the little boy could vividly ‘see’ the lovely scenes coming to life in his mind. He didn’t realize he was no longer blinking until the dull burn in his eyes caught his attention.

That was the only thing though that Tommy came to realize. The nurse was standing by his parents at the door to the patient rooms, his chart cradled in one arm. She smiled at him gently and waved him up with one hand.

“Ready to see the doctor, kiddo? You can bring that book back with you if you like,” she offered kindly.

The child nodded and scrambled to his feet, mindful of his parents’ irritation as they stood waiting. Hugging the worn book to his chest, he made his way over and down the hall to await his exam.

The pediatric patient room was decorated in bright cartoonish colors, framed pictures of animals on the walls over the examination table along with the requisite blood pressure cuff and boxes of gloves. A counter stood along one wall with a sink and canisters containing cotton swabs and tongue depressors. The sterile smell was thicker back here, and Tommy shivered, his flesh raising in goose pimples.

His parents sat in yet other plastic chairs while they waited for Dr. Samuels, the pediatrician that they had been referred to by the school counselor. Mr. Oliver gave the child a hard stare.

“Remember what I said out there? Keep a lid on it. Understand?” he ground out. “Or so help me God…”

Tommy nodded his head vigorously. He didn’t need to be told twice. The book was a comforting weight in his arms, keeping him grounded.

Mrs. Oliver crossed and uncrossed her legs impatiently and glared at her adopted son.

“You can at least pretend you’re a normal kid, right? I’m really tired of hearing how disappointed your dad is with you,” she added, spitefully.

Mr. Oliver made no rebuttal to the statement; Tommy would have been shocked if he had, to be honest.

Then there was a sharp rap on the hollow door and the click of the knob. Dr. Samuels was a short, balding man in glasses, wearing a white coat and brown loafers. He gave the slim boy a perfunctory once over and then introduced himself to the patient’s parents.

“So, what brings us in today, Tommy? I understand there are issues at school,” he questioned, pulling out a small black and silver gadget that he used to look in the child’s eyes and mouth.

Tommy fidgeted slightly and bowed his head.

“I got in trouble at school,” he managed in a cracked voice.

“I see. It looks like you’ve been in a lot of trouble lately.”

The doctor’s cold hands were palpating the child’s throat, back, and belly; the touch of hands on his unsuspecting skin made Tommy flinch sharply. However, the reaction was not due to the temperature difference.

“Can you tell me about the things you’ve gotten in trouble for?” the doctor went on, mistaking the child’s reaction as being due to his chilly fingers.

Mr. Oliver was glaring over the doctor’s shoulder, his eyes dark and dangerous.

Tommy tried his best to answer the physician’s questions, carefully maneuvering around any discussion of how things were at home. He relayed his anger and frustration with children at school, with the teachers, the counselor, and principal, his boredom in the classroom, difficulty with reading and spelling, and preference to be left to himself.

“I see,” Dr. Samuels continued to repeat with each answer.

He made long notations in the papers contained by the purple chart. Then he turned toward the Olivers and began to make his recommendations.

Driving back home through the now pouring rain, Tommy stared out the window at the hazy lights of passing cars, blurry distorted shapes when viewed with the water spattered glass. The adults were deathly silent, still angry with him. Experience told him that his punishment was not over just yet.

The doctor had a given his parents a prescription for medication and a referral to a pediatric behavior specialist for further work up. Dr. Samuels had expressed some concern regarding Tommy’s withdrawn personality and his aggressive responses when angered or frustrated. With the limited information on his birth mother, it was unclear if there were any history of psychiatric disorders.

But the child could be on a dangerous path if he were not treated effectively with appropriate medical and behavioral therapies. Tommy’s stomach felt knotted and painful hearing the doctor’s assessment.

Dangerous?

The child continued to stare out at the grey, wet world that seemed to match his current mood. Puddles splashed under the tires as the vehicle moved down the road toward the small yellow house. His stomach growled, but it was best that he not eat before he received the rest of his punishment.

Vomiting would make it harder on him. His father despised weakness and he would order the child to clean his mess alone.

“Goddammit, Thomas!” Mr. Oliver suddenly snapped, making his wife jump. She narrowed her eyes at him in irritation.

“Is this going to be an ongoing problem? Are we going to have to put you on crazy pills and go talk to a quack? Talking doesn’t fix shit!” he ranted. “Back in my day, if I got out of line, my old man would tan my ass. He didn’t put up with any bullshit.”

The car was silent for several minutes as the older man ruminated on his own upbringing.

“If you want to acct like a rebel without a clue, we can take a page out of my pa’s book. Obviously, I’m not beating your ass enough,” he snarled into the stillness. “Children knew how to act when I was growing up.”

Tommy’s hands clenched together nervously as his father began to get keyed up. Trips down memory lane were not good for the child cowering in the backseat.

“Kids in my generation weren’t a bunch of disrespectful little pussies,” he advised. “You didn’t go running your mouth to shrinks or doctors. Corporal punishment cured most issues. I’m thinking maybe you’re too soft, too wimpy. Like a little princess.”

Mrs. Oliver laughed, a tinkly jagged sound as she looked back at Tommy.

“Well, he’s got prettier hair than I do,” she chirped, hooking a thumb over at the little boy’s longish dark locks.

His father’s dark eyes locked on his in the rearview mirror; the man scowled at his wife’s observation.

The rest of the ride was passed in silence.

Striding briskly through the front door, Mr. Oliver made no mention of what he intended to do; the older man disappeared into the interior of the home as his wife plopped down her purse with an annoyed sigh.

Briskly, Tommy darted up the stairs to his room, scrambling to find a place big enough to hide in. His little heart thundered in his chest while his eyes frantically looked around the mostly barren space.

He knew shit was not over.

Hearing a creak on the stairs, Tommy barreled underneath his bed, a foolish endeavor he realized. But what else could he do? He curled into the tightest ball he could manage in the farthest corner he could reach and waited breathlessly. The heavy footfalls were coming closer.

“Thomas Oliver! Get your little ass out here. Right now!” the loud voice echoed from the hallway.

The child remained quiet, hoping futilely that something or someone would step in and prevent the beating he knew was coming.

The bedroom door thundered open, striking the wall behind it.

“If I have to bend down and drag you out, you little shit, you won’t get out of that bed for a goddamn month!” he warned venomously.

Swallowing the lump in his throat and wiping his weeping eyes, Tommy pulled himself out and presented himself for punishment.

The wrathful man grabbed the child by the hair and yanked, making him yelp in pain. Dragging the sobbing boy down the stairs to the bathroom, he said not a word until the door was slammed loudly and he had shoved Tommy over to the sink.

“That dumb bitch isn’t right about a lot of things, but I think she hit the nail on the head with this,” he growled. “Look in the mirror, boy! What do you see?”

Tommy gave a limp shrug, sniffing back the snot that running from his nose. He could barely see anything through his watery eyes.

“I’ll tell you what I see. I see a dainty little princess, a Pitiful Pearl who’s took weak to suck it up and do what needs doing. You’re fucking biting people like a goddamn dog! But you don’t obey for shit!” he roared. “That fucking stops right here and now. I’m going to teach you how to toughen up, like a fucking MAN!”

Again, he grabbed the child’s hair roughly; the vibrating buzz of the electric razor echoed off the bathroom tile.

“No! Don’t!” Tommy screamed.

But nothing dissuaded the man; long dark hair rained upon the floor, some gliding to alight on the boy’s sneakers. Again and again, the razor passed over sections of his scalp, at times nicking his skin and drawing streams of blood.

By the time the cruel act was completely finished, Tommy’s scalp was almost completely red, slick with bleeding cuts and the rough beginnings of razor burn.

“Much better,” his father stated, nodding his head at his handiwork. “Look at yourself now, Thomas. That’s a more manly hairstyle!”

Tossing the black razor upon the counter, he looked coldly at the little boy.

“Clean this mess up, then go to your room. You’re lucky you aren’t getting the belt again.”

Then he was gone.

Tommy’s hazel eyes stared at himself in the mirror, fixated on his shorn hair. Heaving sobs wracked his thin shoulders making it hard to breathe. Sinking to the floor, he gathered up the remains of his soft hair in his hands, feeling the silky strands slide through his fingers into the trash bin.

So in shock at the loss was he, that when he stood up again and caught sight of his reflection, he began to bawl anew. With shaky steps, Tommy made his way back to his bedroom, the sound of the television loud from down the stairs, drowning out his sorrow.

Tucked away behind a broken dresser drawer, the child had secreted away a means of comfort in this hellhole. The small stuffed dog had accompanied him through many homes until they both landed here. Pulling the little animal from his hiding place, Tommy ran a fingertip over the glossy black button eyes and nose. He buried his hot scalded face into the warm furry chest and begged for someone strong and brave to come save him.

Over his later school years, Tommy had not only continued to bite other children, he’d stabbed a boy with a sharpened pencil, shoved several teachers, cursed out the principal and counselor, scratched and clawed a boy who’d been tormenting him, and kicked yet another child between the legs hard enough that surgery was required. The youngster bounced skulls off metal lockers, threw desks, and kicked a hole in a wall.

He had been caught smoking on school grounds more than once; a few instances involved possessing marijuana. Additionally, Tommy had defaced school property, vandalizing bathroom stalls with rude and often untrue allegations against his peers and other staff. Several library books were missing pages or otherwise damaged.

At the young age of sixteen years old, Tommy Oliver had a thick medical chart, spanning the years since his official adoption that also included incidents from past foster homes. He even had a juvenile record for running away, fighting, stealing, vandalism, underage drinking, and making threats.

The list of diagnoses was extensive given his age and the list of failed medications was puzzling. Of course, if he actually took them instead of pocketing them in his cheek, they may have had some effect. But he was also a masterful liar, leading countless doctors and therapists down a merry rabbit hole.

Nothing mattered. Life was short, then you die. Tommy was determined to do things his way. He was punished no matter what with the old man clouded with drink and impulsivity. The only positive was being shoved into martial arts as a way to vent his aggression at the recommendation of a therapist.

This was the way he arrived in Angel Grove and the way he operated when he first met Jason Scott, the muscular dark-haired martial artist that, for reasons he could not explain, captivated his attention. Something about him drew Tommy in, made him want to be closer.

The boy had not yet experienced a crush on anyone before, male or female. He never cared to concern himself with other people unless he wanted a cigarette, alcohol, weed, or just to ‘get off.’ They were all interchangeable, faceless no ones.

The burgeoning tempestuous swell of lust and hormones were beginning to swirl even before Rita’s magic took hold. The teen found the reason that Jason was so magnetic once he became the Green Ranger and discovered that the Red Ranger was the object of his desires.

Fantasies intruded while he stared at Jason, wondering what it would be like to kiss him, to stab him in the chest, to fuck him mercilessly while he strangled him to death. To take a belt to that gorgeous tan skin as his old man had done to him. To make him scream in pain and fear.

The long, slow descent had begun so many years ago and had set both Tommy and Jason on a collision course both in the Prime and Coinless Universe. Both with very different outcomes.

In the Prime Universe, the Green and Red Rangers were united, best friends to lovers.

In the Coinless World, both Lord Drakkon and his pet, Red, laughed together in shared insanity, both so crazed and mean, they weren’t even a shadow of their alternate selves.

#lord drakkon #boom! comics power rangers #jason scott #world of the coinless jason #power rangers #ao3 author #ao3 fanfic #warning child abuse #too long

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house-of-slayterr · 1 year

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Part of the Family:

An: More Blinky backstory before they meet Manon or Selena.

TW: minor suicidal ideologies

@oceansrose2002 @myers-meadow-selfship @vincent-sinclair-deserved-better

Otis’s POV:

I made my way into the kitchen where Mama and Spaulding were still lingering. Mama liked to have a drink at the end of the day. And they shared that moment together. Without asking, Mama poured me a mug of booze and I gratefully took it. It had been a long few days. I leaned against the counter and took a sip.

“Finally got them to sleep.” I announced.

Spaulding chuckled.

“You sound like a dad.” He laughed out.

I rolled my eyes.

“Well someone had to do it. They’ve been up for three fucking days! I’ve never seen anyone so against sleeping before.”

Mama hummed into her drink.

“When Baby was little, she used to fight me like that too. Thank god she grew out of that phase. Hopefully as Blinky gets more comfortable they won’t be so high strung.”

“I don’t know how to make it any more obvious to the kid that we aren’t gonna kill them.” I sighed.

“How’d you do it?” Spaulding asked curiously.

I grumbled under my breath, I wasn’t proud of it but it was effective.

“I slipped some of Mama’s sleeping pills into some orange juice and got them to drink it. They’ll probably be out of commission most of tomorrow but they need the sleep. I watched them stumble into a wall earlier when they were trying to help Baby with something.”

“Smart, maybe we should keep some on hand just in case. Damn kid.” He shook his head.

“Was this a mistake?” I asked.

We were all adults here and I knew they weren’t ones to judge.

“It’s gonna cost more in food, but they seem useful. They’re small, they can get in places we can’t reach.” Spaulding offered.

“What made you so soft for them in the first place? I’ve never seen you hesitate like that before.” Mama asked.

I shrugged.

“I don’t know. Just something about them I guess. Maybe pity. Their brother was a dick.”

Mama chuckled in response.

“Yeah, right cunt that boy. He had a mouth on him.” Spaulding said.

Mama stood up from her chair and place a hand on my shoulder.

“They like you Otis, they haven’t said a word to anyone else since they got here. Just keep them in line and everything will be fine.”

“Yes Mama.”

She grabbed Spaulding’s hand and drug him off toward her bedroom. I scrunched my nose in disgust. At least he treated her right. Just then Tiny entered the kitchen and I raised my mug in greeting. He nodded his head back at me. I placed my mug down in the sink. I sulked off to my room and shut the door, sitting down on the bed and kicking off my boots.

Who knew seventeen year olds could be so much work? I don’t remember Baby being half as bad when she was a teen. Poor thing was shaking like a leaf when I checked in earlier, their eyes bugged out from lack of sleep. They wouldn’t eat much either and I was frustrated. But I had faith that things would calm down a little. I didn’t even bother to change my clothes, just letting sleep take over me.

The next morning I was up bright and early. I checked into their room to see them still fast asleep. Thank god. I next made my way over to Baby’s room, knocking on the door.

“One second!” She yelled.

I heard her stumble over a few things before opening the door.

“Oh, hey Otis. What’s up?” She asked.

“I gotta go into town today, think you can watch over the kid.”

“Your kid?” She smirked.

“Not my kid. But yes. If they wake up but still look tired, just give them a few of these. They didn’t seem to notice it in their orange juice.”

She let out a cackle.

“Already drugging them?”

“It’s not like that, they’re just being difficult.”

“Seemed ok to me.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Can you watch them or not?”

“Yes Otis, Christ! Go, the house has never fallen apart without you before.”

I gave her a nod, before heading off to start my chores for the day. I had to get food for the house, fix the breaks on Spaulding’s truck, fix the damn leaky sink in the bathroom finally, and find some clothes. God that kid was tiny! Any of my sweaters practically engulfed them. But they didn’t seem to complain.

Baby’s POV:

I checked in on the kid after getting ready today. They looked so peaceful fast asleep. I walked into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. Pulling the covers up over their shoulder as I could see goosebumps on their skin.

“We’ll you’re gonna be no fun today.” I frowned.

We’d already gotten rid of the bodies, but I still had to get rid of the van they came here in. I was sure there was plenty of things to steal from it. We kept anything valuable they had on them. Maybe I could find some of Blinky’s things and set them up for them. They were nice, and they called me pretty. Least I could so was try to make this transition easier on them.

They shifted a little in bed, rolling over to face me. They peaked their eyes open and I smiled at them.

“Baby?”

“It’s ok kid, just close your damn eyes again. Otis will kill me if he found out I woke you.”

“Won’t tell.” They said sleepily.

I giggled a little.

“Promise.”

“We’ll aren’t you adorable. Already keeping my secrets.”

They yawned sleepily and tried to sit up, but I gently pushed them back down.

“No can do kid. I admire you’re attempt at flattery but it ain’t gonna work. Blinky you gotta sleep, why you fighting this so damn hard.”

“Never slept in a bed before.”

I froze, staring down at them.

“What?”

They shrugged, shimmy up to lean against the head bored.

“Never earned enough money to by one, after I grew out of my crib, my mother said she wouldn’t waste the money to keep buying things as I grew. Most my money was spent on clothes and food.” They explained.

Oh I was livid now. How could their own mother treat them like that? I mean fuck, I was a killer, but that was just wrong. I was disgusted.

“Where’d you sleep then?”

“Usually on the couch, but if she had company over I slept down in the basement. I put some of my clothes down in the bathtub down there so the bruises didn’t hurt as bad. Once I saved up enough to get a car to go to work, I slept in the back.”

Unbelievable. God I wish their mother had come in this little field trip of theirs. I’d love to see her try to explain herself after I ripped out her tongue.

“You’re shitting me!” I said.

They just shrugged again, their head lulling to the side a little.

“We’ll in this house, we sleep in beds. You’ll always have a bed here Blinky.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. Now close your eyes and go back to bed. I’ll come back around lunch time.”

“Ok.”

They called my name as I went to leave the room.

“Are you gonna be my sister now?” They asked.

I smiled.

“I’ll be whatever you want me to be little bug. You’re a Firefly now, we take care of our own.”

They gave me a gentle smile before curling up in the blanket and closing their eyes. Otis was going to be furious when I talked to him later. They talked like a little kid sometimes, and it was easy to see them as such. I mean christ, even my clothes were too big on them. Probably stunted from lack of food or some shit.

I stomped down the hall and almost ran face first into Tiny. He quickly stepped out of the way, grunting as his sort of way to say sorry. I stifled through their shit again, finding the keys to the van and making my way outside. I could probably get Otis and Tiny help me take it apart and sell it for parts later. That seemed the easiest way to get rid of something this big.

I was immediately hit by the smell of weed when I opened the door and I smiled. I guess there was one good thing I could get out of this. I searched through, trying to find the most valuable things to keep to myself. Sure it was selfish, but a girl had needs, and looking this good didn’t come cheep. I’d give Blinky first dibs on anything, then the rest would go to the others. As I searched through the corner I found a little plushie. If you could even call it that, it wasn’t very plush anymore. Damn thing looked like it had been through the war. Must belong to Blinky.

I laughed as I looked at it. Poor thing was certainly loved, that much was obvious. It looked like it had been through the war. And by the sounds of it, it may as well have. I cringed when I picked it up and the head fell off. Mama could fix it, I was sure of it. I shoved it in the bag of other things. I kept the weed for myself. Another thing nobody would miss. When I was finished I headed back up to the house and emptied the loot on my bed.

I grabbed the old stuffie and made my way to Mama’s room, knocking on the door.

“Come in”

I pushed the door open and found Mama in the master bathroom. She was fixing up her hair. She looked nice.

“What are you getting all dolled up for?” I asked.

“A woman can get all dolled up for herself you know.” She replied.

She twirled a lock of my hair around her well manicured fingers.

“Have you considered highlights?”

“Not now Mama, I got something for ya?”

“Oh?”

I presented her the beat up little bear. It had lost a bit of stuffing since here and the car.

“What’s this?”

“I think it belongs to Blinky. Think we can save it?”

She sighed, brushing a lock of hair out of her face.

“Can’t we just steal em a new one. This thing looks unsanitary.”

I shrugged, digging my heel into the floor.

“I think they’re having trouble fitting in, like when you tried to send me to school. Maybe if they had something they were familiar with-“ I trailed.

Mama smiled at me.

“I raised good kids didn’t I?” She asked.

She had a proud look in her eyes, and it was contagious. I’m sure many people would disagree with that sentence, but I didn’t dare what anyone else thought. They’re were all stinky old farts anyway. But having Mama’s approval, that was everything.

“I’ll see what I can do, no promises.”

“I’m sure they forgot about it anyways.” I tried to ease the pressure.

“Your brother should be back with the food soon, help him out would ya?”

“Yes Mama.”

I shuffled over to the living room and plopped down on the couch. Turing on whatever nonsense they were streaming. I wasn’t sure how much time passed before I heard the front door open. Otis’s heavy foot falls echoed through the hall. I sprung up from my spot and made my way over to him. He raised a brow at me and I rolled my eyes.

“Still sleeping like a baby.” I giggled. “Mama asked me to help with the food, think you and Spaulding can help me take apart the van for parts later?”

“That fancy thing, we could make enough to get a fresh coat of paint in ‘ere”

I nodded, glad he caught on to my plan. It wasn’t often I got to make a plan around here and actually be in charge of something. Sometimes I felt bad with the amount of work Otis did, but the free time was just too nice to give up. Mama always said pretty girls don’t have to work if they’re pretty enough to get boys to work for them. She was a wise woman.

“What’d you get up to all day?”

I shrugged, grinning.

“Not much.”

He rolled his eyes with a scoff. I walked past him to were the rest of the bags were on the porch. We didn’t talk much as we worked on unpacking. But I could tell something was pulling his dick. Otis got all fussy and tense when he was thinking something unpleasant. I sighed heavily.

“The fucks up with you?”

He dropped the bag of apples on the counter and glared at me. I sent him an innocent little smile, telling him I meant no harm.

“The fuck do you care?” He spat.

“Otis, you may intimidate your victims but that shit ain’t work on me. Tell me what all this huffin’ and puffin’s about or I’ll get Mama.”

He stared at me, trying to call my bluff. But I was dead serious. Otis got destructive when he was upset. We didn’t need more shit going wrong around here. Things were just starting to even out. He let out a sigh.

“Am I a bad person?”

“Yes.” I answered without hesitation.

He sent me another glare, more volatile than the last.

“I meant for keepin’ ‘em, making them stay here. I didn’t even ask Mama or Spaulding, I just did it.”

“Oh no, my brother grew a heart. That’s the most evil shit you’ve ever done.” I teased.

He rolled his eyes, rifling through the last bag left to unpack.

“They don’t seem like they want to be here. Maybe I should- maybe I should have just killed them with the others. At least then I wouldn’t have to look at their stupid sad face.”

I hopped down off the dinning room table and made my way over to him. I’d never seen him this serious about anything. It was sort of endearing, knowing that he was capable of caring about something other than us. I grabbed the bag of bagels out of his hand and slammed them on the counter, getting his attention.

“You are Otis god damn Driftwood! Nobody tells you what to do! You think this is the right call, we support you. That’s what family’s for!”

“Thanks Baby.”

“Eh, don’t sweat it. They’re growing on me.” I smiled, leaving him alone to his thoughts.

“Oh no, my brother grew a heart. That’s the most evil shit you’ve ever done.”

I couldn’t read her tone, and this only confused me more.

Blinky’s POV:

I heard a commotion from the kitchen so I snuck down to see what was happening. I paused in the doorway, hiding behind the wall as I saw Otis and Baby having some sort of confrontation. I knew I shouldn’t be listening in, this wasn’t my conversion. But I couldn’t help it. Everything was so confusing around here and I didn’t like being left out of the loop. I was tired of just being complacent in my life, just allowing it to happen to me instead of living it. So I planted my feet firmly on the ground and strained my ears to listen in.

“Am I a bad person?” He asked.

I heard some shuffling before baby replied with a short yes. Well that wasn’t very nice to say. Nobody was a bad person, they were just people who did bad things sometimes.

“I meant for keepin’ ‘em, making them stay here. I didn’t even ask Mama or Spaulding, I just did it.”

I froze, they were talking about me. I leaned a bit closer so I could hear better.

“They don’t seem like they want to be here. Maybe I should- maybe I should have just killed them with the others. At least then I wouldn’t have to look at their stupid sad face.”

I felt hot all of a sudden. Like all the heat was drawing from my extremities and right to my heart. And it hurt, it hurt a lot. They didn’t want me. Nobody ever wanted me. I quietly slipped past the door and snuck out the front door that was still left wide open. The outside air wasn’t helping as much as I hoped it would. I could feel my chest heaving and my eyes were wet. I hated when my eyes were wet. It was uncomfortable.

Maybe it was foolish to think I was special. It didn’t bother me that they killed then. Well, maybe a little. But it wasn’t something I could change, undo. Even if I had told my brother we shouldn’t have come with Baby to the house, he wouldn’t have listened. He never listened. But to be lumped in with them, those people who did nothing but make me feel undesirable. It made my skin crawl. Was I worth nothing? Would I amount to nothing?

I couldn’t stop my brain from thinking of the way he would do it. Would he make it quick? Would it hurt? Would I even know what was happening? If I went back inside right now, he was sure to do it. Maybe they hoped I was still sleeping so they could just slip a pillow over my head. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad right? A little struggling than it was over. Everything was over. All this pain, anger, numbness, everything would just stop.

I just wanted to be alone right now, like I always was. There was too many people to disappoint back inside. I saw the ladder propped up against the edge of the house and I climbed it. I made my way onto the roof and sat near the ledge, watching the sunset. Only a few minuets passed when I heard shouting.

“What?”

Definitely Otis.

“Damn it!” Then an even louder “we’ll don’t just stand there, find them!”

And I knew I was fucked. This was stupid, why did I think I could run away from my problems. Even if I had actually run, I wouldn’t have gotten far. I didn’t have the keys to the van, and my shoes barely protected my feet from the course hot gravel of the road. I watched as they both ran out of the house, looking furious. And I just sat and watched for a while as they ran around looking for me. But I couldn’t bring myself to move, or to speak. I was just so scared. Otis peeled off in the truck, driving like a mad man.

When I was sure they were far enough away I crawled over to the ladder. But the more I thought about it, I didn’t want to come down off that rooftop. Before I could stop myself, I kicked the ladder down, cringing as it crashed to the floor. I pulled my knees back to my chest again and just continued my stare down with the sun. Maybe I should just jump. From this height, I probably wouldn’t kill me, it wasn’t guaranteed. But I could feel something other than this guilt that was weighing me down.

I flinched when I heard the truck pull back up and the door slam. I let out a slight yelp as I stumbled, but I caught myself before tumbling over the edge. But it seemed that sound was just loud enough to draw his attention. It wasn’t loud enough to hear, but I could see him mouth my new name in confusion. Blinky, the name they’d given me, never bothering to ask for my real one. Did that even matter though, nobody ever used it anyways.

“What the hell are you doing on the roof?” He shouted.

I flinched again. I didn’t like him when he was shouting. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes again.

“We’ve been looking all over for you! Get your ass off that roof!” He commanded.

I shook my head no.

“No?” He asked, almost as if it was a challenge.

I was on my feet now, staring down at him.

“Blinky, come down here now!”

“Why? So you can kill me yourself?”

He seemed taken aback by my words max

“That’s what you were gonna do right? When you found me…”

He rubbed his face in exasperation.

“Christ Blinky, can’t we talk about this on solid ground, where it’s safe?”

I shook my head again. I don’t know why, but when he stepped closer I stepped back. It’s not like he could actually reach me, unless he grabbed the ladder.

“You don’t want me here, I’m just a burden.” I cried out.

He stopped his advance. It seemed he realised I was ease-dropping earlier. Just another thing to feel guilty about. God why was I fucking everything up? I should have just played it cool. Been what they wanted me to be. Some sort of charity project to gain back Otis’s soul or whatever. But he didn’t need me for that. I couldn’t help with that. Why should I have that pressure? I never asked for any of this.

“Blinky, for the love of god please just come down form there.”

There was an emphasis on the word please, almost as if it was foreign on his tongue. I considered it, I really did. But it seems life would make that decision for me. I heard a loud splintering noise followed by a booming crack. Everything came crashing down so quickly as I now starred up at the hole in the roof. I laid flat on my back, starring up at it in shock. Fuck.

I heard footstep quickly approaching before I saw familiar white hair looming above me. I couldn’t quite hear what he was saying as my ears were still wringing. I blinked a few times, trying to focus on him.

“Can you move?” He asked.

It was much softer than the last words he’d said to me. I tested it out and found I could, but it stung a little. I slowly sat up and he crotchet down beside me. I heard him let out a huff.

“Jesus Blinky, what were you doing up there anyway?”

He looked like he wanted to say more, but he bit his tongue.

“I’m sorry.” I muttered out, now fully crying.

I wasn’t sure if it was from physical or emotional pain. I could never tell the difference. It all hurt the same.

“How bad are you hurt?”

I shrugged.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that conversation earlier. It didn’t mean anything.” He sighed.

“Why didn’t you?” I asked.

“I can’t tell you the answer to that kid, and that’s not fair to you. It just didn’t feel right to do to you what we did to them. You don’t deserve that.”

“And how do you know what I deserve? You don’t know anything about me.”

“I’m no good at this shit.” He grumbled.

I flinched slightly when he reached out a hand, but relaxed when I realised it wasn’t in anger. He wiped a tear from my cheek.

“You think anything broken?”

“Other than the roof?” I laughed.

It was a pitiful laugh, more like a choked out sob.

“Yeah, that ain’t gonna be easy to fix. Spaulding’s not gonna be very happy about that.” He laughed with me.

“Did you- were you going to-“

“I don’t know.” I answered honestly.

“Things ain’t always gonna be easy around here Blinky, but I promise you’re safe. Nobody is gonna hurt ya.”

“Omg, Blinky!” Baby called.

She ran over to the two of us.

“What happened?”

“Kid got spooked and ran up to the roof. We should have replaced that roofing a while ago.” Otis mumbled the last part.

Baby pulled me into a hug. It felt weird.

“I thought you left us.” She said.

“Oh.”

Was all I could manage. How could she care? We’d only known each other for a few days. And interacted a handful of times. So then, why did I care that she was sad as well.

“Don’t run away ok?” She asked.

“Ok.”

Mama and Spaulding stood in the hallway, and I could feel their disappointment radiating off them from here. I shrunk into myself, suddenly feeling the the smallest thing in the world. Baby got up for a second, walking over and whispering something to Mama, before the older woman walked away. I could still feel Spaulding’s eyes glued on me and it made me shiver. He was not happy with me right now but I suppose I couldn’t blame him.

It wasn’t his choice to keep me, to welcoming me into his home. And all I’ve given him for it was grief. I stressed everyone out, broke his roof. I felt awful. I heard Mama return but couldn’t bring myself to look at her. Baby was back by my side in an instant, holding something behind her back. I thought for a second, maybe Otis had lied. That this was it, and they were just calming down so I wouldn’t be scared. But I almost choked when I saw what she pulled out from behind her back.

“Sir Isaac Newton? I thought I lost you!” I squealed, lunging forward and grabbing him.

I snuggled him to my chest, placing little kisses where his eye had once been. I rocked myself back and forth holding him. It was soothing. I heard a soft chuckle from behind me.

“We’ll ain’t that the cutest damn thing you ever saw.” Mama said.

I couldn’t help but blush. I felt a little embarrassed , but I couldn’t bring myself to make my stimming. It was exhausting trying to hold it in. Otis smiled at me, a half cocked sort of smile. But it was meaningful. It was clear everyone was still upset, but willing to move passed it.

“Let’s get you some Tylenol Kid. And no more roof ok?”

“Ok.” I said happily.

I allowed him to help me up from the floor and lead me to the bathroom where the medicine cabinet was. I held tightly onto SIN as he checked me over for injuries. He was right, things were gonna be hard, but it would be ok. I had something here that I never had before. People who actually cared about my well-being. And maybe it was ok if I didn’t understand why. That didn’t make it any less meaningful.

An: I wanted the relationships to come off as natural as possible. So it appears Otis is more of a father figure to Blinky, and Spaulding more like an uncle that they really look up too if that makes sense. Also I picked the bears name last minuet was a joke, I chose my middle name because of this man. But I have never once noticed what his initials stood for 😂

#baby firefly #otis driftwood #firefly family #mama firefly #captain spalding #house of 1000 corpses au #house of 1000 corpses #Blinky #Blinky firefly

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wutheringmights · 7 months

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Oh boy for an anti-recommend book: Fourth Wing.

I was betrayed by tiktok (that’s my bad for trusting it) and the cool blurb on the back. The premise is that this woman (violet) has to become a dragon rider instead of a scholar but the training is super dangerous and most people don’t even make it the actual imprinting on dragons. And there’s a war or something. My biggest gripes

1. The main character is so fragile and delicate and physically weak and it constantly talked about. at first I was going to let it slide because Violet has a chronic illness and I was like “oh, a main character with a disability cool” but it’s never talked about like a chronic illness. We don’t see how she deals with it or copes or anything, it’s just feels like a “””real””” reason to make a weak female character.

2. They never stop talking about sex. To be fair, I’m a sex replused ace, but Jesus Christ they can’t go 8 pages without making some bad sex joke and I know this because I started counting. The longest gap was 50ish pages but there’s was an action scene. It’s also so juvenile, they don’t make sex jokes like young adults (they’re supposed be 20 or so) they talk like young teens.

3. It’s supposed to enemies to lovers. It’s just irritating because the love interest isn’t really that interesting (his personality is hot, tall, and jacked). Also the way the MC acts around him made me roll my eyes every time he appeared

4. Worldbuilding is eh. The idea is really cool but doesn’t feel that fleshed out. The MC literally does an info dump about the world in a really clunky way of “calming her nerves and talking about something random”. Also the dragons, the only thing I was looking forward to, were not as big a part or as cool as anticipated.

Yeah. I didn’t even finish it lol, almost nothing happens. Sorry to dump this entire thing on you I just happened to think abot this book again and it made me mad.

Luckily, I got warded away from "Fourth Wing" pretty early on. I read somewhere that it was fantasy for people who have never read fantasy before, and yeah. From what you say, it sounds about right.

I had friends to read, one of which who took a lot of issue with how silly it is that they would allow dragon riding training to be so dangerous. Like, why waste the soldiers? The logistics does not make sense.

I also read that the enemies stop being enemies pretty quickly. Which, eh. If it's a series, I want the enemies to loves milked for as long as possible, to the point where people think it might be a little toxic for the enemies to be lovers at this point. But that's just me.

It does sound like it could be a fun, lighthearted read. I won't take it off my radar completely for that reason, but I'm not rushing to get my hands on it. But I also enjoy reading a bad book here and there, so don't take that as an endorsement.

#the u-shape tiktok book rec graph #if a book is talked about too much it has a higher possibility of not being that great #but also things are popular for a reason and I think this being romance readers' first foray into fantasy makes sense #me rambling #ask #anonymous

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yurious-george · 1 year

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Baby seal maybe

baby seal: you could start a cult if you wanted to.

jesus christ, you have no idea. a while back, several of my kid friends (early teens) confessed they were like, obsessed with me and very much put me on a pedestal?* One of them was borderline stalking me (long story, best summary: isolated, lonely, & poor understanding of boundaries, no harm meant or dealt), but I had no idea about the other three until that moment. It's like guys... please...

*happens to adults too. I have an effect, apparently.

It's such a good thing I'm not famous, we would get snapewives 2 or something.

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theygotlost · 2 years

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FRANCIS. and donnie. and…… 🙈 ezzie… ezzie dax.

jesus christ this is long. im putting it under a readmore

franny:

Sexuality Headcanon: bisexual. I don't think he realized it until his teen/adult years and now it doesnt really affect his life much now since he married piama so young but I can also see him using the fact he likes men as a way to rebel against lois (sidnote i wouldnt really consider lois homophobic if any of her kids came out she would be like "well i believe in equality so I'm going to make all you boys' lives equally miserable regardless of your sexuality. idgaf if you're gay go clean the toilet". um anyway). i just think it would be funny if piama had a celebrity crush or something and she was like wow hes sooo hot and francis would b like yeah he is 🤨😳

Gender Headcanon: i think hes a whiny little cis boy sorry. francisgender

A ship I have with said character: i do think he and piama are cute together :) i just wish she was in the show more and had an actual personality and stuff >:(((((((

A BROTP I have with said character: I like when he's with the rest of his family and gets to hang out with his brothers :) DEWER ESPECIALLY there is something so special to me abt him taking care of dewey and being kinder to him than malcolm and reese are

A NOTP I have with said character: Any other time in the early seasons when he dated a random girl for 1 episode i was like. um ok? but i didnt really HATE any of those

A random headcanon: uhhhh i feel like i should have something prepared to say here but idk. I think he listens to. weezer. fuck this

General Opinion over said character: FEMINIST WOMEN LOVE FRANCIS. also you already know every opinion ive ever had about francis already but hes so pathetic and stupid I need to squish him between my thumb and forefinger

don of tello lol:

Sexuality Headcanon: HES SO GAYBOY. LOOK AT HIS GAY ASS ANIME GIRL STANCE WHAT IS THISSSSSS

Gender Headcanon: i dont think he is cis or trans i think he is a turtle . i think he can swimming in the water for algaes. hope this helps

A ship I have with said character: nobody... tbh the ninja turtles are kinda unshippable to me. theyre just Creatures they dont “date”. But im not that far into the show yet so maybe there is another character that he can have a yaoi moment with later. But im not counting on it

A BROTP I have with said character: obviously all 4 of da turtle brothers are awesome together but DONNIE AND MIKEY ARE BESTIE VIBES!! Theyre my 2 favorites and i love their dynamic esp since they get paired up kinda often. I feel like they are the closest to each other out of all of them cause they’re both kind of the “weird” ones. Theyre neurodivergent and a minor. Also i like that donnie calls mikey “michael” its funny

A NOTP I have with said character: theres not really any viable shipping options to like or dislike . other than like the really reprehensible stuff like incest which is just like Why. do you know how sad and upsetting it is that so many tmnt blogs have to stipulate “no incest” in their bio? Can we all be normal and regular please?

A random headcanon: definitely the most online guy. Its really funny to enivision him being like a discord mod and getting into fights with people on reddit. Basically this 👇

General Opinion over said character: he’s kind so annoying but in a funny and endearing way (much like many of my favorite guys...) but he ourple so that makes up for it. My favorite tutle

ezzie:

Sexuality Headcanon: Dax and all their symbionts are like. Inherently and canonically bisexy

Gender Headcanon: everyone likes to take the “I’m having trouble with my pronouns!!” line out of context 😑 but for real she said “some mornings I don’t know if im a man or a woman until i pull back the sheet” which um... kinda transphobic... we CANCEL the ezri!!!! Jk she can be whatever you want baby. Any pronouns

A ship I have with said character: MIRROR EZRI INTENDANT KIRA HOT SOAPY BOOBS YURI LESBIAN KISS

A BROTP I have with said character: she has no friends lol sorry. Theres not really any bestie vibes between her and sisko the way there was with jadzia

A NOTP I have with said character: ONE MILLION TIMES JEZRI. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!! umm also when she started making out with worf i was like fml. That episode got me feeling so worfzia warrior but only because i was thinking “damn i wish jadzia was still here and worf was making out with jadzia instead.” it just feels weird to me

A random headcanon: idk what do you want me to say. shes so tumblrina.General Opinion over said character: i know ive tormented you enough with the senorita awesome video but that really is how i see her. Im so sorry sam please dont be mad at me but I just don’t like her that much. She’s so #QUIRKY and its really grating. And I know that she didn’t formally complete her training but she is NOT a good ship’s counselor. If i went to my therapist and told her i was depressed or whatever and she was like “yeah sometimes i wanna kill myself too 😋 the #intrusivethoughts are so AWKO TACO!!” i think i would blow my brains out. But in Field of Fire when she was trying to solve that murder case and was hunting down that vulcan guy with a cool gun that was the ONE epsiode where i liked her and thought she was cool. I would like her more if she was badass like that more of the time

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lovecolibri · 1 year

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The way in every answer you destroy kr gives me life everytime, thank you😍im honestly tired of people justify her because eddie is in a trauma response!! They didn't notice it will play for laugh? So there's no deep meaning, but another way for the het queen to distance buddie even more than in 6a. Like if we agree that eddie already knows his feelings, why the fuck he should dare random people,

Lol. In my defense, I was tipsy and half asleep. But also I just don't have a lot of patience for people who are literally getting paid to do a thing and then publicly go around talking about how bad they are at the thing! Like girl, if you can't think of another emergency to do in California (LITCHERALLY they haven't even done a big wildfire for OG), and if you think a musical episode is a good idea specifically so you don't have to keep coming up with so much plot, MAYBE this isn't the job or at least the show for you?!

Amature writers, young people in their late teens and early twenties in the middle of the school year, and adults in their thirties and forties with full time jobs and families are out here with legitimately BRILLIANT ideas for how a storyline could go that fits the characters and their arcs and ties the firefam in even closer within MINUTES of information dropping. How can you, as your only job and with a whole team of writers, not come up with anything? Not DO anything with the scenes you yourself set up? Not understanding the driving force behind your characters actions? Understand what the audience loves after 5 full seasons of a show? My brother in christ this is all LITERALLY your job.

The way she picks things that actually, legitimately, could pack an emotional punch and really push arcs along and be so interesting but instead treats them like a joke while pulling THEE most random, OOC drama out of her behind to drag out for ages instead (until it gets cut or changed because it's being dragged to filth by the entire audience), is going to be my villain origin story.

And the way she criminally underutilizes characters is so frustrating! Eddie had basically nothing going on in 6a, neither did Bobby until 6x09, Chim and Maddie's stuff happened almost entirely off screen, Athena's big episode happened and then literally never came up again or affected a single other thing or lead to any conversations or had any ramifications, ad the less said about how the sperm donor thing was handled the better. Basically only Hen and Buck had something consistently going on and even that was Buck's stuff getting treated like a joke and not actually going anywhere. We're getting a lot NOW but so much of this could have been spread out or lead up to this! Give me the Madney couples therapy! Give me Wendall's introduction in 6x01 and keep him in the audience's mind so 6x09 actually means something. Give Eddie SOMETHING to do after his storyline literally saved s5 and was the only consistently praised arc all season. Give Buck something to do that isn't about these rando white women trying to get into his pants!

Anyway, I shouldn't answer asks when I'm hungry but here you go I guess! Lets all manifest that 6b continues being better and be thankful that the cast are as good as they are and give amazing performances even when they're not being supported by the arcs being set for them.

#my sweet nonnie friends #911 #911 spoilers #anti kr #kr go work on a soap opera or something so you can run your dramatic af arcs for years with no progress #and leave our firefam and especially buck tf alone

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shooting-stars-only · 2 years

Text

Yesterday I found a newspaper clipping while I was sorting through a box of old pictures. It was from the 1980s and it was about my great-grandfather and his little sister being reunited after decades of separation.

[Graphic discussion of antisemitism and misogyny below.]

You see, when my great-grandfather was a teen, he and his sister lived in Poland with the rest of their enormous family—there were twelve of them in his generation. (His poor mother.) There was tension between the Jewish community and the rest of the town. I don’t know the exact dynamics, of course, since the article didn’t go into detail, but I did find out why he came to the United States alone: some Russian teens lured/forced a group of Jewish schoolboys into a cave or dry well, trapped them there, and lit them on fire. They died. My great-grandfather and some of his friends beat the Russian boys to death and fled the country.

As for my great-great aunt? She was the sole member of the Polish branch of my family to survive the Holocast. Her ten siblings? Dead. Her parents and grandparents? Dead. Her children, her husband? Killed in front of her.

Let’s check out the other side of the family. My great-grandmother was a little girl watching sheep with her older sister in modern-day Ukraine when a group of Cossacks attacked them. She hid. The Cossacks gang-raped her sister and beheaded her. Later, they found my great-grandmother’s family farm, killed her father, raped her mother, and set the farm on fire. My great-grandmother only survived because she was with her aunt and uncle. They moved to Warsaw and immigrated to the US when she was an adult. I still have her Torah, though it’s falling apart. We use her menorah every Hanukkah. My dad only knows her stories through his mother, my grandmother; Bubbe never told him any of this.

That was a long time ago, though, so let’s hop to later generations. Like how when my dad was in 6th grade, a group of other kids grabbed him and shaved his head to find his horns, since of course all Jews had them, being devils and all. Maybe we can consider my mother, whose abusive ex-boyfriend beat her, impregnated her, and told her he would never marry a kike. When she told him she was keeping the baby, my older sibling, he tried to kill her because he didn’t want a mixed-blood baby. She only escaped by slamming his head in the bathroom door and fleeing through the window.

We could even consider me. I never had to face physical violence, luckily. But I vividly remember my fifth grade class ostracizing me the month before winter break because I was a Christ-killer. I remember being forced to ask God to bless our game in the name of Jesus Christ, amen, before my basketball games in school. If I didn’t say it, the coach wouldn’t let me play. I’ve had people tell me to my face that there’s a Jewish conspiracy controlling the world—and they meant it. Once, as an adult, I heard a girl at a social gathering earnestly saying that she “didn’t have a problem with Jews,” but she was pretty sure there was a genetic difference between them and “normal people.” Keep in mind that these are just major antisemitic moments, not counting microaggressions.

I was born in the early 90s. Raised in a prosperous (if conservative) town. It would be easy to dismiss these people as a bunch of ignorant old rednecks, but they’re not. They’re our bosses, they’re being elected into office, and they’re only just reaching the prime of their lives—they’re another generation of Jew-haters in power.

Sometimes people act like antisemitism isn’t much of a thing anymore. They think it’s something archaic, like discrimination against Italians: it was a problem, but it’s gone now. It’s old-timey. It’s not a serious problem. Jews are white anyway so it’s not a big deal (which is ignoring the existence of the Sephardim and Mizrahim and the complexities of race, ethnicity, and antisemitism). If Jews don’t want to be stereotyped, they should stop being Jewish. And anyway, there are a lot of Jews in power...hey, that’s not bigoted, it’s just an observation, chill out, it’s just a joke.

I’m pretty isolated from antisemitism nowadays. It’s probably been a decade since I actually experienced any firsthand. But I look back and I see centuries of oppression behind me. I see jackboots. I see burning Jewish boys pushed down a well. I see abused Jewish women ignored by authorities because “she’s only a Jew.”

It’s not over. Sometimes I worry it will never be over.

#antisemitism #i've been stewing on this since i read that article yesterday #self.txt

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wigglygiggler · 2 years

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My thoughts on the "Minors off t-word spaces" issue, as an adult with a tk kink

The most common argument for keeping minors off the tickle community is that allegedly interest in tickling is "always a kink, even if it's SFW it's still a non-sexual kink". I want to respond to this from two viewpoints: a) if the minors don't have a tk kink and b) if they indeed have it. Sorry in advance, this is going to be long.

I'm prepared to lose followers because of this post but eh, that's life, I guess.

First of all: if you have a tickle kink, do not assume everyone else has it too. If your non-sexual fascination in t-words developed into a full-blown fetish in adulthood, do not assume it's the same case with everyone else.

You cannot tell other people on their behalf how they experience things. I trust you'd think saying "No, you're not lesbian, you've just had bad experiences with boys" to someone is ignorant as fuck? So is telling someone else what their own kinks/sexual preferences are.

I agree on the notion that the line between SFW and NSFW isn't strictly on nudity: I've indeed seen tickle art that has involved clearly erotic undertones with bondage and rape-y torture scenarios and the artists insisting "it's SFW because the lee isn't naked!" Even still, non-sexual and even non-romantic tickling happens in everyday life all the time: parents with their kids, siblings with each other, entirely platonic friends... I understand you personally see tickling through an erotic lense, but try not to project that onto others.

You guys are right about kinks being sometimes non-sexual, though. So if the minors we're supposed to chase off our kink spaces do indeed have a tk kink...?

I'd still say let them stay here.

I'm now 29, working on educational field and I've volunteered in child & youth welfare. Our policy on minors wanting to talk about sex was that we allowed discussing it and actually took those conversations as opportunities to tell the kids factually correct information about sex-related stuff: the biological facts, enjoyment, the diversity of sexual orientation and gender, the importance of consent and contraception, all that jazz.

The fact is, most teens will get interested in these things sooner or later and good Lord, just telling them "Don't explore your sexuality ever!" will NOT result in them meekly replying "ok" and sitting quietly on the chair - that's just not how an average teen works. :'D Shutting the subject down will just either make future repressed adults who are anxious of their own natural sexuality... or drive the minors into looking up stuff from sources that might be... less than decent. In the context of tickling that might mean - yeah, you called it. TMF.

For those who don't know or remember, TMF - Tickling Media Forum - was and still is one of the major t-word platforms. Back when I was a curious preteen in the mid-2000s, it was nearly the only one. Its story section up to this day consists mostly of NSFW, non-consensual, abusive fics where the typical lee (a hot woman in her late teens - early 20s) is tickle tortured for hours against her will, and the tone of the writing clearly delights on her discomfort. Now, sexual fantasies are not inherently wrong, even ones that would be problematic in real life. But Jesus Christ, that stuff is often seriously uncomfortable to read. The mentality those stories represent is exactly the reason why outside our community many people hate being tickled: they have unpleasant memories of being pinned down and tickled by e.g. their siblings or partner who haven't stopped when asked. Tickling someone without permission is abuse just as much as hitting them. Continuing when the lee asks to stop is assault, even if they are giggling (you understand the laughter is an involuntary panic reaction with nothing to do with enjoyment, right?). I once dated a guy who didn't get that FFS; thankfully he's history for me now.

If I had a teenaged child who was secretly into tickling, I'd much prefer them to indulge in their interest on Tumblr where a big portion of the community emphasizes the light-hearted side of tickles and it being fun for both parties. (As previously said, just forbidding looking up tk stuff wouldn't work anyway.) In my own fics, both SFW and NSFW, I'm strict about consent: in some way the lee explicitly gives the ler their permission to tickle and some sort of safesignal is established and respected, or at the very least the context makes it obvious the situation's playful and fun for both and the lee is capable of stopping the tickling whenever they want, even if they don't actually do it during the fic ("Wait, this is not what I meant!" "Well, if you don't like this you can always use the safeword ;)" "...") I don't really think about any educational value while writing, the emphasis on consent is simply my own preference, but if some teen reads my stuff and their understanding of respectful intimacy increases because of it, I deem that only a good thing.

I'm very well aware kink communities pose a risk of being exploited; Tumblr is sadly no exception. I've seen screenshots of adult creeps trying to roleplay with minors. The risk of being groomed won't disappear if minors are kept off here; if anything, right now Tumblr is probably the safest environment for a young person to explore their interests.

In conclusion, tag your NSFW stuff properly and teens, feel welcome here but keep your potential roleplays just between people of your own age.

#tickle community #tword community #tickle blog #tword blog #tword #tickling #wiggly's musings #tickle kink #tk blog

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shop-cailey · 4 months

Text

Korean Girls - Slept at 6A - from

Fainted at Box Vault Self storage

Illegal - Air Conditioning - Faints

Women - Woke up at 3A - Set up

Tent at 5:30A - Pop Up Tent

China Made - Stupid inventor

Middle above -Tie a ribbon so

Short only 1 loop - No ribbon

Your tent doesn't work like a

Crippled - Walks funny - the

Legs not straight - Solution

Use velcro - So I'm designing

Pop Up Tent - Strong winds

since early - Pop Up they lied

about - but not attached was

not easy 2 blow because of

attached poles - foldable

legs - stronger - double top

needed with sunlight when

wind blows bottom stays well

sides move gently unlike other

tent violently shakes - shakes

shakes - so a jerk just cuts off

ribbon - Pop up Tent now like

a hoop skirt that you keep up

legs become like jello

bad - weakness

so anyway got my duct tape

last night placed bottom of

600 lb carrier for the arms

of 6 wheels - back 2 storage

Weekend - Luggage padlocks

1 hour ago 2 blk males and - 1

blk female - couple wearing

same shirt - after male hispanic

not 1st incident - they Christians

went 2 corner

SW North River Dr

on - SW 2 st - she threw brick

at him - on SW North River Dr

Blk male - stick fr broom they

stopped a white car tried to

hit - Hispanic Male

Scenario

Female Mayor

How about 7 days - giving

certain area 4 Blks - Hispanics

anyone they want - all - theirs

No loud music - Tents & more

No police - No laws - No orgy

No nudity

What would they do?

They would rule this area

with Bricks - Battery and

Broom Sticks they removed

the broom - just - Sticks

How they would rule area

7 days

Education - Importance

Math - To know correct change

Addition when u get Apartments

Reading - Writing

Bible - Road signs

Enter - No Entry

Languages 2 Communicate

Education

World out there

Pop - Over 3 billion males

Over 3 billion females - Less

Majority - countries more girls

China - India - Pilipinas - One

more - Yes - more males - Rare

Makati Villages

New - Born Again - Tongues

What 2 do - also in Tumblr

The above - Preach the Word

Saints Church - 24/7 - Open

Free Buffet - Always - 24/7

Saturdays - Sabbath

Official - Services - Lunch

Fridays - Teasers - Intro on Sats

Lunches - Free - Sabbath Preview

Preachers - Sabbath Schools

Kids - Teens - Adults

Not Coed

After - Families - Others

Lunch

Preachers - Teachers

Special Marines - Navy - Air Force

Do above - Paul was beheaded

He volunteered because as Saul

He had Christians killed all ages

What I don't like he getting Crown

Don"t like

Heavens - Family - Ancestors

Korean Stars - Suicide - There

Jonghyun - Sulli - Goo

2 me - Mom 2 greet me

Meeting our Heavenly Father

On the Throne - King of Kings

Lord of Lords - our Saviour

Our Lord - Christ Jesus

Our Deliverer 2 the Uttermost

About that area - Russians sent

a bomb and blew them up

Makati Vilkages

as we activate - Pulses

Anger - Violence - Hatred

Envy - Cruelty - Murder

Robbery - all with above pulse

All - Air - Cremated

We the people of the Republicof

of the United States to perform

a perfect union - all men equal

old english - men with womb

2 establish - Domestic Tranquility

Constitution - AmendmentsO

only laws of USA

Bible - Obey Godly Laws

Stand your Ground Laws

Aim at Blacks - Drop stick - brick

Go 2 the 2nd Ave

Hispanic - Go 2 left - Separate

With Firearm - No Retreat

Bulkets - Poisoned - Disappears

5,000 - Jesus is Lord - No sound

Going 2 storage

Changing clothes - in tent

Main Library

While recharging - Bus 8

Doing Laundry

See you - Tumblr - Followers

Happy New Year - 2024 - Yes

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iovealexivs · 4 months

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Thanks for answering my adhd med question! If and only if you feel like it, would you say more about how you were originally misdiagnosed as having only-depression? I've been depressed since early childhood but lately I've started to realize that this is heavily influenced by the fact that I can just never get a grip on anything in daily life, and there's probably something more cognitive or neurological going on. If you don't feel like discussing it with a stranger you don't even have to tell me, I'll wish you a happy new year anyway!

“I can never get a grip on anything” encapsulates how I have felt for as long as I can remember.

I have mainly inattentive ADHD, so it was never caught when I was a kid though in hindsight jesus christ it was so evident. I was (and still am) a huge daydreamer, I do go off topic given the opportunity and even when in appropriate, and I’ve always been a disorganized/messy person. My mind is going at like a million miles a minute even if I’m not physically expressing that hyperactivity. I struggle with impulse control, am easily forgetful of things (couple that with brain fog from long covid and it’s awful), have major time blindness, etc.

When some of my symptoms, such as procrastination, burnout, not cleaning my room due to executive dysfunction, etc, started to affect my life negatively it was chalked up to depression. On the outside it did look like depression, so I bought into it. For a short time antidepressants would work (except for venlaflaxine, which i mentioned had extremely awful side effects but also did no good). But because the problem wasn’t actually depression those didn’t work for very long. It was really frustrating and I must’ve seen 4 different professionals over the course of 5 years before getting to a medication plan that works.

I wasn’t able to see anyone for my mental health until I was an adult due to my home life even though I’d felt this since I was 13. my mom for the longest time would just chastise me for being lazy as if I could control it (she did this well until this year when I told her the problem was ADHD. Reason why I never did before was because she was always dismissive about my mental health as a teen so it was hard to approach her). There is also the fact, according to my dad who only told me after I graduated highschool, my pediatricians told my parents when I was a toddler I was exhibiting signs of autism (which must’ve been very telling if it was caught on that early) and my parents denied me a proper diagnosis because “that couldn’t be it” even if it’s a comorbidity of my physical conditions. So i’ve been running around with that, and I am sure that has to have an effect on everything else.

It wasn’t until I saw a therapist in late 2018/early 2019 for a traumatic event that I considered ADHD a possibility because she was able to pinpoint it from my behavior and my past. But a therapist can’t write scripts so I still needed to see a doctor/psychiatrist. Since then I tried to see different doctors but most just stuck me on antidepressants either by continuing my lexapro script (which had no effect here nor there once I stopped other than mild withdrawal symptoms) or starting me on Wellbutrin (in 2021). I started wellbutrin because I finally got screened for adhd and had the official diagnosis, but I was still given an antidepressant. The wellbutrin worked a little better but it was not solving the problem completely. It got me up and out of bed, which may be why the person I’m seeing now wants me to keep taking it, but I could never stay focused on a task if I wasn’t being forced to either my parents or work. It was so bad on my end when I was on my own in uni that I ended up in the ER due to self induced stress. This summer my psych NP put me on adderall because he listened to how frustrated I was with having an ADHD diagnosis for years and not being effectively treated for it. He did try the venlaflaxine but I had to stop it and then he put me on adderall. I’ve noticed only positives from there even at a smaller dose.

I believe one of the reasons it was diagnosed as depression is because ADHD (like many other health issues, including autism, which can show how much I was showing as a kid if doctors could tell off the bat) is largely ignored in people born female like myself because of stereotypes associated with ADHD mostly being noticed in boys/people assigned male at birth. To further illustrate this, my brothers were suspected of having adhd before they were 7. I wasn’t as disruptive as the “typical” adhd child (I did have my moments. Don’t get me wrong. But it was treated as me being an occasionally unruly kid and I was reprimanded for it only as it happened) so no one cared. I was also a “gifted” kid because I liked reading so much and was smart for the time. Surely a kid with good grades (and who got punished for anything less than a B) has no problems /s. So when I started to level out with my peers in high school the “laziness” accusations exploded in frequency and no one would listen to me when I said I felt so out of control of my own mind.

Sorry this got so long. I never can be concise when there’s something I feel so strongly about. I, unlike the adults in my adolescence, encourage being open about mental health so I hope this can help you.

#donnerpartyofone #asks

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sunspira · 2 years

Text

I CANT shake like wariness and frustration and confusion about the argument that "it's not other user's responsibility to protect kids. parents need to monitor their kids online activity" like if you see yourself as a good person you do have SOME duty to avoid doing harm and look out for children online who you happen to directly encounter. but more to the point god parents monitoring their kids online is SUUCH a miserable option like that would have made me so upset and sad and uncomfortable. i feel like it was part of my preteen life and coming of age to have a little online independent life in middle school and early high school. we did have the computer in the family living room so like is THAT what people mean by the level of monitoring. like very passively that works well because of the natural accountability to not go on the worlds most fucked up websites when your mom is in the next room but . checking their search history feels like reading their diary very wrong breach of privacy and trust idk about that

(but there's the truth in the spirit of that comment that it's still a public space and you don't have to carry yourself and censor yourself like you're in a school setting just cause kids might be around. i think the freedom to have fun and just do and say whatever like you would around other adult friends is part of the point of being on here and why being online is appealing in the first place. but yea people made good points that in an open forum about a children's show you probably should carry yourself pg-13 knowing some really young ones are all around that just feels natural to me. one time i joined an avatar the last air bender discord and we made a grown up zone for that reason because half the users were new fans and teens and half were og fans and like 25. like we can all hang out in the main zone but there's adult only channels to just be whatever and not have to think about it. maybe because ive mainly worked in schools and in childcare and would substitute teach and sometimes babysit kids in middle and high school but realizing "oh christ youre young enough to be my STUDENT:C like someone i TAKE CARE OF and tell what to do all day" is a bit disturbing and made me actually unfollow some younger users at the time which i still really don't follow teens anymore period it's too strange like with my position in society i don't wanna know you like that.

this doesn't conclude in anything it's more of a stream of consciousness. except that i do try to be a human being online and im not detached from society enough to be like NOTHING MATTERS LOLOL TRIAL BY FIRE KIDS i also hate the argument that parents need to be on top of their kids online activity it is hard for me to imagine that in practice but it's partially because i didn't have internet access when i was in elementary school where that might be appropriate and didn't have a smart phone or laptop until college so i come from a different world than most young adults saying that stuff but ALSO it's kinda fucked that kids who don't have anyone in their life advocating for them or involved with them , usually the same unattended kids who's parents are either really caring but struggling and always working or even in some cases it's kids who have cold or neglectful adults in their life and they're just getting screwed over even more by bad environments online like there's no clear solution here because people can be so puritanical and that's the worst too but it's so easy and dismissive to be like WELL WHERES THE PARENTS THIS WHOLE TIME. dude idk i'm not sure if that's even the point

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fakeboitherottengirl · 2 years

Text

I’m pretty sure I was like 2 or 3 (maybe younger but not older bc we still lived with my grandma) my dad watched “Banned From TV” with me and also “Faces of Death” which all I remembered was the monkey “death” until I rewatched it in my teens but people think I’m weird for being fascinated with gore/lost and forbidden media and it’s like my brother in Christ I was watching my first mixtapes when y’all were watching Barney my ability to feel healthy levels of shock went out the window before they had a chance to develop. I really do hate the trending back toward long mixtapes because there’s usually something on the mixtape like animal or child content which I find too upsetting or gross filler like scat porn. also there is animal violence material (the crushing of chicks) that I thought was a bad dream when I was little but I’m starting to suspect was something on my fathers mixtapes because apparently he used to collect tapes of shock footage that he would buy on construction sites in NYC and has the VHSs in his gun locker so I guess my gore fascination is another thing I inherited from him but yeah apparently in the early 90s in the shittier part of NYC you used to be able to buy an unmarked VHS with only the knowledge that what it contained was really bad. Also I never got in trouble for watching gore, it was something I did in the open on my family computer growing up (as opposed to reading Hannah Montana erotica and forgetting to clear the search history which got my internet privileges revoked for a few days in middle school) my parents were just like “oh, our goth teenager likes gore, what a quirky little girl” like it was treated as completely not alarming to the point where I just assumed everybody watched gore in private like they watched porn and was shocked to find out that wasn’t the case. Also it’s weird that my family just let me watch it on the communal computer in the middle of the living room where my sisters and shit could also see and they’ve thrown it in my face since that I exposed them to gore growing up and it’s just like y’all I didn’t even realize it was a taboo thing until I hosted a viewing of 3 guys 1 hammer and half my friends avoided me for a week but I’ve grown up with gore and consider it a fairly harmless indulgence especially compared to porn. It was also an important part of me re-mastering the parts of my brain that Happy tree friends shook up (which were the only segments in FUBAR that I remember having to look away from). Idk what the point of this post is other than to say I never really had a chance to develop a healthy sense of shock and early exposure to extreme/adult media has completely fucked up my ability to respond normally to the concept of violence and I really worry for this generation who is growing up with iPads from the time they are old enough to hit a button they are going to get exposed to so much and as much as i front like queen edgelord early exposure to that kind of material seriously damaged me and as far as I’m concerned the glass can’t be Uncracked the damage is done but if u have a child please dear god monitor/limit their internet activity because I grew up in the age of the physical Chinatown mixtape and still saw what I saw kids growing up online are going to see so much so soon if you don’t take active steps to shelter them please protect the next generation from what happened to ours they deserve better

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lesbianrobin · 3 years

Note

What do you think are the good and bad aspects of each season of ST?

ok 1. thank u for this question omg and 2. this answer may or may not be a mess, but either way it’s long (almost 7k words lmao) bc i’m insane, which is why it’s under a cut. it’s still by no means an exhaustive list but these are the things that just kinda came to mind.

also i realize you asked “good and bad” and i wrote this whole post as “strengths and weaknesses” which um. is not Exactly what you asked. but close enough <3 i also ended up including a lot of au ideas ksjdckmn bc like i personally hate when people say a certain plot or whatever was bad without suggesting anything that could have improved it yknow so whenever possible i tried to provide Some idea for fixing the issues i had with the show!!

season 1

strengths (this is probably gonna be the longest section but that’s because a lot of these strengths also apply to s2/s3 by default)

nostalgia and authenticity

this one’s pretty simple, but i think that season one did a good job of blending classic eighties media homages (such as the many many e.t./el parallels) with explicit pop culture references (such as mike’s yoda impression, mentions of the x-men, etc) to create a show that’s essentially dripping in early eighties nostalgia without it feeling too forced. before st, i think the most popular depiction of the eighties in mainstream media was that overly exaggerated neon scrunchie aesthetic from the mid to late eighties, and it was usually done in a comedic sense first and foremost. st took a different approach, instead focusing on the early eighties, a time that’s often ignored in favor of going either Full Seventies or Full Eighties, and i think that this choice likely resonated with adults who lived through the eighties and hadn’t yet seen something that felt quite so accurate to their own adolescence. a lot of young people who watched st were totally unfamiliar with this period of time, unfamiliar with books/movies like “stand by me” that st borrows from heavily, and i think st lent more seriousness to the eighties than most young people had experienced so far, and this was refreshing and interesting!

the use of dnd in the show is also quite genius in a way i’m not sure i can articulate?? it isn’t something Everyone would have played at the time, but it’s something that existed within a different context back in the eighties than it does today, and it really lent a sort of authenticity to the naming of the show’s sci-fi elements. like, of course these kids would name parallel dimensions and monsters and superpowers after these similar things in their favorite game! it just feels so real and it grounds st in our reality moreso than you might expect from the typical sci-fi or horror universe.

utilization of existing tropes

almost every single character in st clearly originates from some popular trope. the plot itself is riddled with classic eighties movie tropes. almost every single element of stranger things can be clearly traced back to some iconic eighties film or just to, like, overused horror/sci-fi/mystery/coming-of-age movie tropes in general. this might sound like a bad thing, but it really works in st’s favor! starting off with familiar tropes gives st the ability to easily create a lot of complexity and make a big impact by selectively deviating from those familiar, comfortable tropes!! while el’s whole plot, hopper’s character, etc, are all examples of this in action, i think the steve/nancy/jonathan plot is the greatest example. even from the start, the fact that good girl barb dies while nancy is off having sex with her asshole boyfriend is an incredibly thorough inversion of the most well-known horror movie trope in the book. how often do girls in horror movies have sex for the first time, walk home alone in the dark of night, and live to tell the tale? nancy and jonathan’s dynamic at first glance is a sort of classic “good girl meets boy from the wrong side of the tracks, discovers he’s actually got a heart of gold” thing, but instead of following this well-trodden path, st diverged. nancy is brash, impulsive, and at times downright insensitive. jonathan is angry, bitter, and actually a bit of a creep at first. while they have the capacity to emotionally connect and support one another, they can also bring out each other’s darker side, which is not what we’ve come to expect from that initial tropey dynamic.

in addition, steve, the popular rich asshole boyfriend, is actually... a human being! unlike the cartoonishly evil jocks that we’ve come to expect (especially from eighties movies), steve has complexity. despite his initial immaturity and selfishness, he’s also kind to barb, he backs off when nancy says no, he’s gentle and sweet when they sleep together, his first big Dick Move of the season is in defense of nancy, he realizes the error of his ways after the fight and does what he can to fix it, he’s worried about nancy when he sees that she’s hurt at jonathan’s house, and to top it all off, he ends up saving both nancy and jonathan’s lives when he could have just walked away, and the three of them all work together to fight the demogorgon. like... steve began as the most stereotypical character of all time, and by the end of the season, he had one of the most compelling and unique arcs among the whole cast!

finally, at the very end of the season, instead of dumping steve for jonathan as expected, nancy ends up getting back together with steve, and they’re both on friendly terms with jonathan. i realize that i just kinda. summarized s1. but my POINT is that i don’t think the dynamics between the monster hunting trio would be nearly as fun and interesting had the characters of nancy, steve, and jonathan not been set up to follow certain paths that we already had charted in our own heads. like, within the first couple episodes of s1, it’s pretty obvious that nancy and steve are gonna break up, nancy will get with jonathan, and steve will either die or go full evil or just never be seen again. like, duh! you’ve seen this story a million times! you know that’s how it’s gonna go! so, when the story DOESN’T go that way, the impact of each character’s arc and the relationship dynamics become stronger due to their unexpected complexity and authenticity.

distinct plotlines separated by age group

this one’s rather obvious, but the way that the adults in s1 were essentially in a conspiracy thriller while the teens were in a horror flick and the kids were in a sci fi power-of-friendship story and all three converged at the end... wow. brilliant showstopping etc. not only was it just really well done and unique, it also gave stranger things near-universal appeal. like, there’s genuinely something for pretty much everyone in season one!

casting

obviously this applies to every season sorta by default, but when i think about what made season one So successful, i always think about the cast, and not just winona ryder. yes, she’s absolutely amazing in the show and it’s very doubtful that st would be as big as it is today without her name being attached to it from the start!! however, i think the greatest determining factor in st’s success is the casting of the kids, particularly millie bobby brown. like... el is just absolutely incredible. she’s amazing. this has all been said many times before so i won’t harp on it, but millie and the other kids are all So talented and charismatic and i think their casting has been instrumental to the show’s success.

strong visuals

the way that multicolored christmas lights which have been around for decades are now kinda like. a Stranger Things thing. jesus christ. those lights are probably the biggest stroke of stylistic genius on the show.

atmosphere and setting

this is probably like. the least important one here for me sdjncdsc because i think s2 and s3 both had like Even Better atmospheres and shit but s1 was good too and it laid the groundwork!! i know a lot of people would have preferred st be set somewhere more Spooky with lots of fog or giant forests or whatnot, and while i do enjoy thinking about alternate st settings and how they might alter the vibe, i think hawkins indiana was a good choice. as the duffers have said, placing stranger things in a fictional town allows them more flexibility than if they’d gone with their original plan of using montauk, new york. besides that, i think the plainness and like... flatness... of small-town indiana just Works. like, the fact that hawkins is never really scary on the surface is a big part of the horror in the lab’s actions and their impact. hawkins isn’t somewhere that people just disappear all the time. it isn’t somewhere known for strange occurrences (prior to s1, that is). it isn’t somewhere shrouded in mist and secrecy. hawkins on its surface seems like the sort of place with no secrets and nothing to fear, and that’s the point! the lab is out in the open! it’s right there! everything is so close to the surface, yet so far out of the public eye, and i think that really works.

the byers family’s whole deal (specifically the joyce/jonathan dynamic)

this is going here bc i miss it so bad in s2 and s3. i’m not one of those people who believe The Byers Are The Whole Point of the show, because st is and always has been an ensemble, and el, hopper, and the wheelers are just as instrumental to the plot as the byers, but ANYWAY, i do think the byers were one of the most interesting aspects of s1. joyce’s difficulties with supporting her sons as a poor and (implied mentally ill) single mother, jonathan’s stress as a result of having to earn money, care for his brother, and keep the house in order when his mother is unable to do so, and the resulting tension between them when will’s disappearance and supposed “death” brings the situation to a tipping point? holy shit! it’s so good! that argument after they see will’s “body” is just incredible and gut-wrenching. their relationship feels so real and messy and i think it’s just... good. also winona ryder REALLY acted her heart out and she carried a lot of s1 which i think people often forget to mention so i’m saying it here.

weaknesses

pacing/timing

ok so pacing is probably going to go in each season’s weaknesses, to be honest, because i think they all had a blend of some good and some bad pacing. good pacing is invisible pacing, though, so i probably won’t be putting it in any of the strengths sections and will only be focusing on it in the weaknesses. i’m also probably not going to talk about weird day/night cycle things, just because i don’t want to get nitpicky on timelines because that would require going back and rewatching things to double check timing which i don’t wanna do at the moment lmao. anyway, when i think of bad pacing in season one, i primarily think of two things: nancy’s little trip into the upside down and subsequent sleepover with jonathan, and the sort of staggered nature of the climax in the final episode. the latter is simple so i’ll explain it first: while i understand that each group’s respective climax is like part of a chain reaction and that’s why each big moment happens separately and at different times, i think that st is strongest when the whole group is together, and i think that makes the stakes feel higher too, so i’m not In Love with the way s1 separated everyone and gave each group their own climax.

okay, now on to the nancy/upside down thing! idk if i’ve ever talked about it before, but i think the worst decision made in s1 by far is the inclusion of nancy’s brief trip into the upside down, wherein she dives headfirst into another dimension with absolutely no backup, watches the demogorgon chow down, freaks out and runs around for a minute, and then leaves. like... what the fuck? even putting aside what an idiotic decision this was (because i do think nancy’s tendency to rush into things headfirst is an intentional and consistent character trait), it just kind of destroys any remaining suspense surrounding the demogorgon and the upside down, and it accomplishes basically nothing besides scaring nancy enough to have jonathan sleep over, which is lame. i will break it down.

like, first of all, nancy just getting to waltz in and out of the upside down and get a good, long look at the demogorgon makes the entire thing far less mysterious, and by extension far less scary. like... before this scene, we the audience haven’t got a good look at the demogorgon. we’ve seen its silhouette briefly and we’ve seen a blurry picture of it, but nothing more, and i think that is far more effective at building fear than this jaunt nancy goes on which gives us a full view of the thing and makes it into less of a horrifying nightmare and into more of a humanoid animal. like, maybe this is just me, but i found the demogorgon far less intimidating after that scene than before. it also lets nancy and jonathan know For Sure that they’re right without providing any crucial information that they need to fight the demogorgon (aka it’s unnecessary to the plot), which removes a very compelling story element (the faith nancy and jonathan need to have in order to keep going against a vague and poorly understood enemy, the doubt they might have about each other and their own sanity, the possibility that they might be wrong, the trust they need to have in each other) a bit earlier in the plot than i believe is ideal. at the end of episode 5, nancy goes into the upside down and jonathan doesn’t know where she is and it’s intense!!! you’re thinking like, oh fuck, not only is nancy missing and fighting for her life now too, jonathan might be implicated in her disappearance!! some people already think he’s the one who killed will and people know that he took creepy pictures of barb and nancy before they both disappeared, maybe this is gonna cause some serious problems for him!! maybe nancy will find will in the upside down and she’ll help him survive!! fuck, maybe she’ll actually die!! this is huge!! and then episode 6 starts and they’re immediately like oh nevermind jonathan found the tree and got nancy out and she’s fine. my point with all of this is that nancy entering the upside down could have done A Lot in the grand scheme of the plot, but all it did was just... get jonathan to sleep over so he and nancy could have some awkward romance moments and steve could see them together and pick a fight. which could have honestly happened at Any point while nancy and jonathan were working together to hunt down the demogorgon, without ruining the demogorgon’s and the upside down’s mystique. so yeah <3

weird behavior and dumbass decisions that make no sense (aka the whole camera thing)

gonna go off about the teen plot again sorry but: why was nancy so unbothered and quick to forgive jonathan for taking those pictures? girl what the fuck are you doing? why wasn’t that a bigger deal? why was jonathan’s motivation for doing it so weak and why did they just kind of forget about the whole thing? why did nancy TRACK HIM DOWN AT THE FUNERAL HOME while he was PICKING OUT HIS BABY BROTHER’S CASKET to be like hey can you tell me what’s in this creepshot you took? it’s insane. it’s so insane. i mean i think the funeral home thing is hilarious and i don’t mind it being in the show necessarily but like my point here is that i think a lot of character decisions in s1 just kind of.. happened because they Needed to happen for the plot. like, they wrote this plot that required jonathan to be secretly taking pictures of the party and required him and nancy to work together after seeing something odd in the pictures, but they didn’t like... really consider what that event would mean for their characterization and relationship. the whole thing was sort of just dropped with minimal discussion and i think it did both nancy and jonathan’s characters a disservice and was really mishandled.

lighting and saturation/color grading

i am literally begging horror/sci-fi shows to let me see shit. i GET IT okay i understand that when you’re doing cgi effects it helps to keep the lights down and i’m not mad at any of the lighting in the demogorgon/upside down scenes!! i’m really not i think the demogorgon scenes in s1 all look sick!! but like... dude. the colors. where are they. why does everyone look like a vampire. i know blah blah this was probably an intentional stylistic choice intended to mimic film at the time blah blah but dude a lot of old movies are very colorful!! please just let people have color in their faces so everyone doesn’t look like a sheet of paper!!! also i’m white and not a professional lighting designer so yknow grain of salt but i think lucas was kinda poorly served by the lighting sometimes in s1. not Hugely so, not to the degree that i’ve seen poc be poorly served by lighting in other shows, but there were some times where it felt kinda like the lighting setup was just not designed with darker skin in mind.

horror

i just personally don’t find s1 very scary like... ever. i don’t think they were really Trying to be extremely scary yknow so i’m not counting this as a big deal, but i do think that each season has improved on the horror aspects. i think s1′s horror lies more in the mystery and the unknown than in what’s seen onscreen, and as i’ve said already, i think s1 kind of fumbled that suspense ball.

season 2

strengths

the possession plot

i’ll warn u rn this whole s2 strengths section is probably gonna be really short bc idk like. how much there is to really say i feel like it’s all so self-explanatory skjncmn. anyway yeah the possession plot!! eerie as fuck, and noah OWNED. so did winona tbh and finn and sean etc but like. noah. wow! i think the possession plot helped the show maintain a good amount of tension and suspense throughout the season, and a lot of scenes with possessed!will are flatout disturbing to watch. in a good way. i think the mindflayer and will’s possession were far more genuinely frightening than s1′s demogorgon, and it provided a new layer of depth and intrigue to the antagonist besides just “bad monster want eat people.”

tone and aesthetics

halloween season... literally halloween season. halloween season. that is all.

actually i will elaborate a bit and just say that i think s2 did a good job of having the sort of foreboding vibe that s1 was often going for, but without the annoying darkness and desaturation. so points for that.

also st2 is like one of the best Autumn pieces of media ever like it just. like steve and dustin on those train tracks with the fallen leaves all around them.... god. god the vibes are unparalleled. all of the halloween stuff also really contributes to the nostalgia st runs on yknow it makes you think about childhood and trick-or-treating and you kind of get transported like damn... i remember going to the rich neighborhoods to score the good candy..... idk i just think the whole thing is incredibly effective.

“babysitter” steve

by sending nancy and jonathan off together, the show created a problem: what to do with steve? this problem pushed them to create the unconventional and unexpected duo of steve and dustin, and the world is so much brighter for it. seriously though we all know steve and dustin are great i don’t need to argue that point. all i’ll add is that i think allowing steve to grow in this way, serving as a mentor figure and becoming genuine friends with someone so unexpected, really took the originality of his character to the next level. no longer content just to defy his archetype, in s2 steve begins branching out in ways that never would have been considered in s1, creating an incredibly complex and interesting person from the sort of character that most shows would have simply written out or killed off for convenience’s sake. and it works and steve and dustin are such a joy to watch and i love them. <3

the lucas/max plot

so first of all max mayfield is the most perfect baby girl on god’s green earth and idk what i would do without her but anyway. i think lumax is the best romantic relationship in the show and not just because they’re the only ones with like an age-appropriate approach to the whole thing. it’s also because their relationship accomplishes more than just putting the two of them in a relationship!! lucas and max spending time together motivates billy to do his evil shit, providing more conflict in the narrative, and it also helps establish max as part of the group in a relatively natural way while giving both her and lucas a great subplot. lucas (and dustin) has a crush on the new girl, they start spending some time together, and lucas ends up needing to decide whether he’ll keep the secret of the upside down and lose her, or risk both of their lives by telling her the truth. that’s a pretty big, character-defining decision that he gets to make!! max has to choose whether to trust this boy she barely knows and endanger herself, or to walk away and stay safe, yet another great character-defining choice that also contributes to the sense we get as an audience of max as somebody who’s incredibly lonely and desperate for love and connection. this post is way too long already and i have a ton more to say so i’ll stop now but yeah i think lumax really Works in the show without ever distracting or detracting from the overall plot and narrative in the way that some other ships (coughjancycough) often do.

balance between the normal and abnormal

s2 i think did a pretty solid job of melding daily life with more fantastical sci-fi horror elements. i enjoyed seeing so much of the kids at school in the first few episodes!! you really get a strong sense of where they’re at in life, what their daily lives are like, and you get a sort of gradual shift into madness that makes everything feel more grounded than i think it would if they had just leapt straight into the horror shit, yknow?

the el and hopper dynamic

go back and rewatch s2 and tell me that’s not one of the most moving portrayals of parenthood and trauma and growing up that you’ve ever seen. you can’t. or well you can but i won’t listen. i really can’t imagine stranger things without el and hopper’s relationship, and it’s my absolute favorite part of s2. their whole dynamic is so beautiful and complex, and gives them each amazing personal arcs in addition! the black hole scene is literally one of the show’s greatest moments of all time. any given scene between the two of them in s2 is just guaranteed to be heartwarming as well as heartbreaking, and i think that makes for an incredible show.

weaknesses

flashbacks

okay this applies to Every season they All have too many flashbacks but in s2 specifically... please stop showing me shit from season one. i watched it. i know what happened. you don’t need to spoon feed everything to me!! flashbacks can be a really helpful way of delivering information to an audience, but st has a bad habit of not only being kinda demeaning in how often they flash back to shit that the audience already knows, but they also have a bad habit of using flashbacks almost as a crutch to avoid having to deliver information subtly and naturally.

you know i gotta say it... the lost sister

this is so sad. the lost sister really is like a great concept for an st episode, and i’m not mad about the idea of st taking a break from the normal action to focus on one story for a full episode, but the execution of it was just dreadful. kali and her crew feel very over-the-top and stereotypical, and its placement in the season totally kills the tension and excitement that was built in “the spy.”

i think the lost sister honestly could have gone over far better, even with the stereotypical fake-feeling gang kali has, if they had just swapped it with “the spy” like... ok, the end of episode five has el setting off to find kali and will collapsing on the ground seizing. right? imagine if, instead of immediately following will to the lab, we’d followed el. we don’t know what’s happening with will, but it’s a very simple cliffhanger that leaves us on edge without making us feel cheated by the show cutting away. we follow el on her little journey, everything happens much the same as canon, and then at the end, el sees hopper in scrubs. she sees mike, screaming, sees that they’re both in danger. holy shit!!! what the fuck!!! what’s happened since we left will seizing on the ground??? we feel el’s fear and confusion. she decides to go home. and then... boom. “the lost sister” is over. now, we rewind, right back to will seizing on the ground, and “the spy” commences. we learn how they got into the danger that el saw in the end of “the lost sister,” and we sit on the edge of our seats all through “the spy” and “the mind flayer,” KNOWING that el is on her way back to save them but not knowing when she’ll arrive!! idk i don’t think that would have necessarily saved lost sister but i think it may have alleviated some of the issues that i and many others have with it, timing-wise.

the nancy/jonathan sidequest

once again, the idea of nancy going off on her own little mission to find justice for barb after s1 is like. amazing. genuinely i love that plot for her and i can’t imagine anything better for her to have focused on in s2. unfortunately though i think her and jonathan’s little trip to see murray was just kind of... lame. the whole thing just felt like an excuse to get the two of them alone together, yknow? which is fine i guess people contrive all sorts of situations to get characters alone together for romance reasons but in this case i think it just really doesn’t work for me because of what it’s juxtaposed with. like, will is POSSESSED, and jonathan is just off on a mini road trip and sleeping with his bestie, and jonathan never seems to communicate to joyce/will that he left town, and joyce never like... thinks to tell him that will is like sick and fucked up and they’re looking at him in the lab??? like it’s so weird i know joyce always forgets about jonathan when shit’s happening with will but jfc you’d think at some point in that like... 72-ish-hour period where jonathan was out of town she would have thought about him. like at least once. maybe i’m forgetting something and she mentioned him sometime and i missed it but even still, i hate the juxtaposition of nancy and jonathan just like cheers-ing at murray’s place and sleeping together and whatnot while everyone else is dealing with possession or trying to hunt down dart yknow? it feels really boring in comparison and i think it could have been done far better. like it was SO insanely easy for them to get into the lab and get an admission of guilt and escape with it!! i think it might have been a lot more engaging if maybe someone from the lab tailed them to murray’s place and they had to like lose the tail and race to get the recording out to as many news outlets as possible before they got caught, or something like that. the tension in their plotline is completely resolved in episode four!! episodes five and six are just them screwing around and addressing envelopes. while there were a lot of strong ideas in this plotline (i really enjoy nancy going out of her way to get justice, and the fact that they have to water down the story to make it believable), i just think the focus on nancy and jonathan getting together hindered it a lot without adding a ton to the plot or their individual characters.

season 3

strengths

starcourt mall as a setting

while i don’t think the mall was utilized quite to its full potential (something i could make a separate post about if anyone’s interested), i do think that starcourt was a genius addition to the series. i’ve said this before, but building a new mall is a literal Perfect in-universe justification for a significant leap forward in fashion and aesthetics, and it provides a great location for characters to just... be characters. idk how else to articulate this i just think that the mall is a great setting to let people interact with each other and to bring people together who may not have been otherwise (i.e. scoops troop). not to mention how sick it was to see the mall get wrecked toward the end kdjncdkm like they were able to do so much more with the mall in terms of like The Finale than they could with just the byers house or the cabin or the school or even the lab. i love all the back tunnels they run through it’s such a fun like acknowledgement of how this glitzy eighties mall is just a real place where employees get shipments and take out the trash and shit idk it’s all about the perfect facade and what’s hidden what’s underneath what’s hiding in plain sight etc etc i’m just saying words now. anyway.

willingness to experiment and go against expectations

gay robin. neon aesthetics. giant fucking meat monster. i know some people hate both the neon and the meat monster but i personally think they were kind of amazing and like. yknow regardless of personal tastes i think it’s impossible to deny that s3 had a lot of incredible visuals, and they’re all visuals that just wouldn’t have been possible if the show were too afraid to stray from its s1 aesthetic. robin being canonically gay (and her resulting friendship with steve) and the season’s striking visuals are two things that most everyone (besides like homophobes skjncdknm) can agree were great, right? and they were both departures from where the show began and what we all expected!! so yeah i think while some of the experimentation in s3 wasn’t ideal it was also that experimentation that allowed for some of the season’s strongest elements to come about.

the hospital sequence (and the season’s action/horror scenes in general)

this one is fairly self-explanatory. while they may have underutilized the “body snatching” element of the season, the hospital sequence with nancy and jonathan fighting off their possessed bosses did an amazing job of building tension and creating a genuine sense of really intense and personal danger.

in general i think that s3 melded action and horror rather well, particularly in the sauna test, the hospital, and when the mindflayer busts through the roof of hop’s cabin. horror can come from many things, and in this case, st elicited horror largely from the feeling of helplessness, and it was really effective for me personally. i think it worked better for me than s1′s brand of horror because it doesn’t rely so much on a lack of knowledge or a sense of suspense that inevitable disappears upon a second viewing.

the body horror we got in s3 was also really fun! that’s it i just think all the blood and guts and slime were fun and i would like more of them. once again, the impacts of body horror are less dependent upon the viewer being in the dark or unsure as to what’s happening, and as such i think it tends to be a little more effective at eliciting reaction in the long term.

timing and mechanics of the battle of starcourt/finale

i think the battle of starcourt is just fucking awesome, and beyond that personal opinion, i think it’s the most high-stakes and intense finale of all three seasons, and this is for two main reasons! 1. el is out of commission, and 2. (almost) everyone is in the same cental location. this means that (almost) everyone is in danger all at once, and they are all working together at the same time to fight the same threat. s1/s2 have their groups more fragmented for the finales, and while i understand why in each case and i wouldn’t call either season’s finale necessarily weak, i do think the centralized nature of the s3 finale just Works on another level. in s1 and s2, large segments of the cast are already perfectly safe by the time el dispatches the primary threat. in s3, however, everybody save for dustin and erica is still in danger up until the last moment, and el is seemingly (you can def debate how much power she still had in her when she peeked into billy’s mind and whether the memory broke the mindflayer’s hold on him or if she was actually controlling him to some degree) completely vulnerable. this increases the tension and raises the stakes, making the finale a real crescendo to fortissimo as opposed to a series of little mezzo forte moments. i hope everyone reading this knows music idk how else to phrase that my brain is stupid.

emphasis on friendship and adolescence (but in a different way than s1/2)

this is definitely a controversial one but i think that s3 really did like... show a side of friendship that had been more or less unexplored thus far in the show. el and max were amazing, and i think it’s really nice that we got an opportunity to see the kids have some growing pains as well as see them support each other through Normal Adolescent Stuff like boyfriends and breakups instead of just like. death and trauma. this is maybe just a personal preference, but i think it can be really enlightening and provide a lot of depth when you get to see how characters respond to normal everyday conflict and not just how they respond to giant world-ending conflict!! letting el use her powers for goofy teenage shit like spying on boys and messing with mean girls at the mall is not only fun for her and the audience, but it also really emphasizes just how much those powers are a part of el, making it that much more devastating when she loses them at the end of the season.

weaknesses

tonal dissonance

so this is like. obvious. but it must still be said! i won’t go on and on about it since we all know this so i’ll try to like talk about it from an angle people don’t usually? anyway. it seems to me like they were maybe a little worried about s3 being too dark. while the choice to really lean into humor was definitely driven by the sorts of eighties teen films from which s3 drew inspiration (like fast times at ridgemont high), i think it was also done in an attempt to alleviate the more troubling implications of some events in the season, particularly the russian bunker plot. like, yeah, st can be incredibly dark, but if they’d played the whole “children being stuck inside of a foreign military base, tied up, tortured, and drugged” thing completely straight without the humorous elements that exist in canon, it had the potential to be like... disturbing on a new level. steve and robin don’t have powers like el yknow their kidnapping/torture doesn’t have any sci-fi elements to sorta soften the blow. they’re just innocent teenagers being brutalized and traumatized by grown men. so anyway yeah i think maybe the writers were concerned about this storyline coming off as too dark and they wanted it to be a little more whimsical but they ended up pushing way too hard in that direction and creating extreme dissonance at times. this goes for joyce/hopper/murray/alexei too, but to a lesser extent. i think the ridiculousness in that group felt a lot more like... realistic. but still.

newspaper plot

once again i feel like i don’t even need to say this skjdncmn we all know it was insane how the show basically ended up delivering the message “while misogyny is a serious problem poverty and classism are not” and i’ve said it on this blog a million times so i don’t need to repeat myself. i’ll focus on another weak point of this plot: the fact that it completely separates nancy and jonathan from everyone else. once again, the show’s preoccupation with j/ancy held them back! like... can you imagine a version of s3 where nancy and jonathan both worked in the mall? i have a lot of ideas about this possible au and like how the plot could play out differently if they worked in the mall but first of all it’s just more realistic, second of all it further utilizes the mall as a central setting, and third of all, it would bring everyone together. as it is in canon, nancy and jonathan were unnecessarily isolated from the rest of the group, and this isolation was detrimental to both of their characters. like, they only ever get to interact with each other! if they’d gotten summer jobs in the mall, they could have had more interactions with the kids/steve/robin, and they absolutely still could have had a similar argument! maybe in this case, nancy notices the rat thing (or something else odd) herself when taking out the trash behind the mall, and she wants jonathan to ditch work with her to check it out bc she thinks it may be related to the lab. jonathan doesn’t want to ditch work because he needs his job, nancy argues that they’re working shitty mall jobs anyway and who cares if they get fired, and we get more or less the same thing as s3 without the cartoonishly over-the-top misogyny. i mean honestly i think the rat shit could have been cut entirely it didn’t rly... accomplish much of anything. in my opinion. like imagine s3 without the rat plot you literally would not be missing anything except it would be more surprising when the dudes melted into goo at the hospital. so yeah i think it would have been better if nancy and jonathan had jobs at the mall, weren’t isolated from everybody else, and were maybe absorbed into the party’s plot or the scoops troop’s plot from very early on, allowing them to interact with more characters and have a less... dumb.... plot. like god splitting up nancy and jonathan between the party/scoops troop would have been So Much better i just. sdkjcnksdmn anyway yeah.

briefness of group reunion/separation of groups

remember in s2 at the beginning of “the gate,” where mike and hopper had a confrontation and max and el met for the first time and el hugged everyone and steve and nancy had their sad little moment together outside... where’s that energy? obviously the s2 reunion wasn’t that long either, but it made space for some significant emotional moments to take place. s3′s reunion had some hopper/el/mike resolution, but besides that... there was nothing, really. i just think that the whole group getting together in s3 was SO exciting and powerful the way they did it (with both the scoops troop and the adults having their own Big Moment reconnecting with team griswold family), but the emotional potential was more or less squandered.

i also think in s3 at times they were really stretching to keep everybody separated even though it made no sense. and like... in s1 the separation worked bc nobody else knew that (x group) was experiencing weird shit too, and beyond that, each group (as i mentioned in the s1 section) was sort of operating within their own genre and bringing something unique to the season. they’ve stopped doing that though! now, the groups aren’t separate bc each plot is tonally/structurally different, the groups are just separate bc... they need to be, because it’s a big ensemble cast and you can’t just have them all be together for a whole season or it would be way too difficult to coordinate things and keep the show dynamic. all this is to say that i’m excited for s4 because the location differences make it so there’s a Reason for each plot to be separate at the beginning, and i think that’ll work better.

general ridiculousness

i dont mean like i think it’s bad that they made jokes this is just me lumping in all the dumb shit like hopper not worrying about el and not wanting to check on the kids, him and joyce bickering long after they both know they and their children are in danger, max seemingly forgetting that billy is a racist abuser, etc etc. i think many of these are just a symptom of the show 1. trying desperately to keep the groups split up a certain way even though it may not make any sense, and 2. trying to fit into a certain genre/trope mold when their actual characters are more complex than the tropes they’re imitating. this is so fucking long already i am not gonna elaborate further rn but i trust u all know what i mean.

soooo... yeah, that’s about all! i mean it’s not all there are definitely many more things i could talk about and i know i focused sorta disproportionately on the teens which is my bad :/ but i’m done for now. thank you for asking, and apologies for the delay in responding!! i’m sure some people reading (if anyone read this far) will disagree with some of what i’ve said and that’s alright like i’m not The Authority on st or anything i’m just trying to talk about like my own thoughts yknow? so yeah luv u all i hope someone enjoyed reading this!!

#asks #em talks #lesbianrobin.canon #stranger things #if u actually read all this i love u and im sorry #these r just my opinions!! and im sure i misremembered some shit my brain is swiss cheese #i did my best tho

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