detachment (01/03)
letting go and accepting what we can't change. detaching from the choices of others.
pairing: prince!aemond × niece!reader
summary: aemond not only breaks your heart after so many love promises, he also breaks his betrothal to you without any justification and announces his betrothal to a baratheon girl. now you will be married soon too.
word count: 7.9k
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Those had been his words before you left King's Landing and after you returned for an indefinite time due to the condition of your grandsire, King Viserys.
hello! i'm very happy to be back with a new story. new characters and new plot, now with our prince aemond🥰
comments and reblogs are always appreciated, thank you so much for reading, you are all awesome❣
"I love you."
But he had really felt them?
Did Aemond Targaryen truly loved you?
For a time, both expressed their love and devotion for each other, proclaiming kisses, caresses and titles that they wanted to seal permanently with a Valyrian wedding.
The affection began as children. You were never mean to your uncle compared to your siblings and his older brother, Aegon. And fortunately Aemond always appreciated the good treatment he received from you.
And that good treatment led the two of you to start spending a lot of time together. By sharing a taste for literature, having interesting conversations about the history of your ancestors or even learning High Valyrian, you both formed a fondness and affection for each other.
There was never any objection from your mother, Princess Rhaenyra, about a friendship between her only daughter and her half-brother, the product of her father's second wife and once best friend.
Nevertheless, Alicent Hightower did have a problem.
When she began to notice her second son's affection for Princess Rhaenyra's daughter, she had to forbid him to spend time with you with more than strict measures and supervision.
"Mother said I must not spend time with you. She said that our duties are different and that I cannot learn embroidery with you and you cannot learn to use a sword with me."
He had told you once when the two of them met in the library sneaking around in the middle of the night with a sorrowful look and a sad tone of voice.
"My mother has never told me I can't spend time with you, Aemond. She has never forbidden me."
You had told him with such disappointment as you understood that the two of you could no longer spend time together and that all those readings together could no longer be possible, neither could High Valyrian lessons despite the fact that neither of you have a dragon yet.
"I know, Y/N."
And he had told you that with such resignation that tears began to form in your eyes.
"Then… we can't be friends anymore?"
And even though Aemond Targaryen at his young age has always been faithful to his mother in everything she told him, the most respectful and obedient, simply the polite and perfect son, seeing your tears and your sad face, at that moment he decided not to obey.
"I'm never going to let that happen. We'll still spend time together, I promise. But we'll have to be very careful."
He had told you to then take you in his arms, hugging you. A hug that you reciprocated instantly, making you feel better knowing that their friendship would continue.
And he keeps his word.
You begin to have secret meetings in the library, the kitchens or in the gardens, both being very careful not to be discovered.
The lessons of High Valyrian continued, also the readings of stories about Old Valyria, the reign of Aegon the Conqueror or the First Men.
Sometimes you would steal bread or cakes from the kitchens, then hide in the library or in the innermost corridors of the Keep where you knew you could not be found.
Everything was perfect. Two innocent children enjoying a friendship and at the same time preparing for their respective duties to the realm.
Until one day, your mother decided to leave with her whole family to Dragonstone.
It was a very hard blow for Aemond and you because you had never been separated before. Your mother had never even considered leaving King's Landing as she was the Heir to the Throne and very much aware that she must remain at Court.
But Alicent Hightower had been more astute and by her behavior managed to dispossess the princess of her own home. And there is no alternative for you and Aemond to exchange letters and keep in touch as much as possible.
Once you arrived at Dragonstone, letters between the two of you were never lacking in that short period of time between your departure from King's Landing and then Aemond's accident at Driftmark.
Aunt Laena Velaryon had died and despite it being an unfortunate event, you were happy to see Aemond again and he too longed to feel close to you again.
However, the Gods are cruel and the accident marked Aemond's life forever, as well as the rivalry between Queen Alicent and Princess Rhaenyra.
And although Lucerys is your brother, Aemond, even in his state of hatred, never resented you for his lost eye, nor the clear rivalry between your mother and his.
On the contrary, the relationship between you was strengthened because you did not want to separate after such a fatal accident that made you cry while you hugged him tightly, thinking that maybe you could have lost him.
So the letters continued, some exchanges of gifts as well and even some secret visits that you allowed yourselves to have on the backs of your dragons to meet in a midpoint.
Or rather on a small island in Blackwater Bay.
Aemond had managed to claim Vhagar, the largest dragon in all the world and the one that once had Visenya Targaryen as a rider, while you claimed Silverwing, the dragon of the good queen Alyssane Targaryen.
Until King Viserys' health began to deteriorate in a serious and worrisome way, so your mother decided to return for an indefinite time to the Red Keep.
And the moment you and Aemond were reunited, that bond between the two of you only grew stronger, so everything formed the word courtship and it was no secret to your families.
It was no secret despite the clear rivalry between the Targaryens and the Hightowers and even more so with Alicent Hightower against the clear affection between his son and Y/N Velaryon.
But everyone knew that you are not a true Velaryon.
A bastard.
That's what you are in the eyes of the Hightower. And no matter that your hair was platinum like the Targaryen's, you were not the daughter of Laenor Velaryon, but probably of Daemon Targaryen.
Queen Alicent knows the depravity of Princess Rhaenyra and there was no other explanation for it, considering also that your brothers are bastards, but of Harwin Strong.
And Queen Alicent felt that spite and hatred for Princess Rhaenyra being so brazen and giving birth to children not legitimate. And the same thoughts she shared with her father, her children and Larys Strong.
However, Aemond didn't want to hear anything she told him about you.
He understood that his mother was angry with his half-sister, but that didn't mean she would have to turn him against you as well for something they had nothing to do with.
Bastard or not… you were always a good person to him. And all Aemond wanted, as well as you too, was to be together. It didn't matter that your brother was the boy who took his eye, that was a separate point for him.
And when you were ten and eight while Aemond was ten and nine, the talks and planning for a marriage began.
Marriage that was not approved by Alicent and Otto Hightower, but Aemond didn't care. He had already let too much time pass without making a move.
And that was dangerous considering that you are a princess of the realm and many lords had already asked for your hand. And because of your age, you had to make a decision now.
But you had already chosen him, in fact since you were a little girl. And now he had already done something about it by asking for your hand.
And finally you could both call each other husband and wife, what you always wanted.
Your father, Daemon, didn't agree to the marriage, Jace didn't either. But your mother took your wishes into consideration and spoke to your grandsire, King Viserys, who approved and gave his blessing for a marriage between his son Aemond and his granddaughter Y/N.
At this, Queen Alicent could do nothing, much less Otto Hightower despite their replies and clear displeasure.
And when your mother gave you the news, it made you very happy to know that finally Aemond could call you his and you could call him yours.
"But are you completely sure about this, my love?"
Your mother asks you, looking at you with eyes of love and understanding, holding your hand. To which you only nod with a small smile on your lips.
"Yes."
She smiles too, stroking the back of your hand with her thumb. Then she lets out a long breath and nods as she lowers her gaze for a moment, which catches your attention.
"You agree, mother?"
She again looks at you with a slightly bewildered look.
"It doesn't matter what I think, sweet girl. What matters is that you really are sure that he is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with."
"I know but your opinion matters to me."
Again Rhaenyra's sweet smile returns to her lips, watching you adoringly for a few moments to again let out a small breath.
"Well… I saw that coming, in a way," she smiles at you, "And I think we all do, actually."
"So you don't feel uncomfortable?"
"No," she denies absurdly, "I remind you that I did exactly as you wish, my love."
"It doesn't hurt to ask you and want to know how you really feel, mother."
Your mother is silent for a few seconds, thinking about your words and thinking about her own next.
"Well… if we go back in time, certainly your grandsire must have felt uncomfortable and… weird about the idea of his brother and his only daughter at the time together," she says sympathetically, "Something I never understood until now that I get to be in the same position as him. But that's our family and I couldn't oppose the idea of what you wish."
She assures you.
"Ever since you and Aemond started being inseparable as children, I knew it would turn out like this. And I knew that the thought of you both being meant to burn together could not be inevitable. And I understand that perfectly."
You nod slowly, listening and understanding his words, thinking.
"But father doesn't think the same," you say with some disappointment, "Neither do my brothers. They are upset with this and with me, I know."
"My love, you don't worry about them," your mother tells you immediately, "Your father will eventually understand, he can't be such a hypocrite, can he? And your brothers… they don't see that this will probably put an end to the rivalry between the two families, despite of happened in Driftmark. I don't expect Aemond to forgive Luke either."
She says and a wave of peace begins to envelop you.
"But there's always a chance and hope," she assures you, "So this is good, very good. Otherwise, Aemond would not have asked for your hand and I would not have spoken to the King to give his blessing."
That time your mother's words could not have comforted you more, making you feel genuinely happy and no longer feeling worried about the people around you because of your marriage to Aemond.
And that time you had also gone in search of Aemond after leaving your mother's chamber, finding him in the library, feeling relieved and happy.
"I spoke to my mother," you tell him, intertwining your fingers with his, "She said to be sure to set a date for the wedding with the king and she will tell us as soon as they come to an agreement."
Aemond watches you with a barely visible half-smile, all his gaze soft and watching you intently, with fondness and longing, noticing how you can't help but be excited about the wedding.
"And do you have any preferences for the wedding you'd like to share with me?"
He asks you softly, completely catching your attention, smiling at him.
"Actually, I should be asking you that question," you take a seat next to him, not letting go of his hand.
"I was the one who insisted on a traditional wedding," he reminds you with an obvious look, "You know I would prefer the Valyrian wedding, less people, few witnesses and everything just like the tradition of our house."
"The traditional wedding thing you asked for taking your mother's wish into consideration. She doesn't approve of this, so that's the only way to keep her less angry," you also remind him, "Still after our wedding at the Septon, we can fly to Dragonstone and have the Valyrian wedding we want. We can even stay there, just you and me."
Aemond smiles, bringing your hand to his lips, leaving chaste, soft kisses on the back of yours, understanding perfectly what you are implying, just what he desires as well.
"No celebration feast, then?" he peers over your hand.
"You want a feast?"
"It doesn't matter what I want, Y/N. All I want is to marry you and unite our blood, that's all that matters to me."
You smile softly, moving a little closer towards him.
"I know, nothing is more important to me too," you tell him softly, "but don't be so insensitive about the preparations, Aemond," you tell him amused.
He rolls his eye, still smiling and still not letting go of your hand for wanting to keep feeling your touch.
"Well, then tell me what's concerning you."
"They are not concerns, I just want to know your opinion and take into consideration some wishes you want to make."
"And what are those?"
"Well… your opinion would help me to know about what colors of the dress I should wear."
Aemond stops his caresses on your hand and watches you with a thin line on his lips and really expressionless for a few seconds without saying anything.
"I know perfectly well that this is about a concern of yours, Y/N," he finally tells you afterwards.
"Well, yes, it is a concern," you reluctantly confess.
"The colors of a dress?"
"Well, what am I supposed to do? Wear green or red?"
"My love, the dress will be yours, not mine. Besides, I know you don't like green."
"Yes but that color is yours."
"No, it's not mine, green is my mother's color," he reminds you, "I may wear it sometimes, but we are both more Targaryen than anything. So if you must choose colors, let them be red and black, just the same colors I will wear."
At that moment in front of him you don't show it, but you feel really relieved to hear his words, the dress being an issue that really had you worried sick.
So you get up, let out a long breath and sit on his lap, him instantly accepting you in his arms, while you drop your head on his chest in a defeated motion.
"What would I do without you," you murmur.
Aemond lets out a small laugh.
"'Rather what would I do without you, Issa jorrāelagon."
You let out a long breath, closing your eyes, taking comfort in the fact that you are in the arms of Aemond, the man you love.
"You're right," you murmur, "All I want is to call a Septon and have him marry us right now with no preparations and no other planning. I was going crazy over a dress and it's only the beginning."
"Don't worry, my love," he assures you softly, "We will plan the whole wedding together, without any third opinions and wishes. And in the end, it will all have been worth it. We'll finally be married, what we've always wanted."
You smile softly, lifting your face a little towards him to watch him, to which he also watches you, seeing your face light up, full of illusion and excitement.
"I still can't believe it."
"You know there's no turning back now, don't you? Once I see you at the Septon, you're already bound to me forever."
"Just what I've always wanted. Unless you don't want to."
"Of course I want to, I'm just warning you," he tells you with a smile, "And I also remind you that the blood of the dragon runs thick."
"We are lucky we share the same blood, my love."
Unable to help yourself any longer, Aemond's lips just above you being an invitation you complacently want to heed, you place your hands on his cheeks and begin to caress your lips with his, sharing a soft, affection-filled kiss that he reciprocates, holding you by your waist.
And even though you have shared countless kisses before, this one is undoubtedly different, because very soon he will be yours and you will be his, finally.
"Avy jorrāelan," you murmur against his lips.
"Avy jorrāelan, Issa gevie ābrazȳrys."
You let out a small laugh at his lips, pulling away from him a little.
"I'm not your wife yet."
"And your point is?"
You laugh again, stroking his long hair, watching his handsome face, stroking his scar as well, watching him with desire and adoration, all of him being what you want.
"Yet you will be soon."
And again he pulls you close in a needy kiss which you reciprocate instantly, really not looking forward to the big day anymore, wanting, no, rather needing to call him your husband as soon as possible.
And finally you can tell when the big day will be you are with Aemond in the gardens, both of you taking a walk before he goes to take his daily sword training and you get the seamstress to plan your dress, when your mother appears and approaches you both.
She has a small smile on her face, so you can tell this is good news.
"I spoke with the King a few moments ago. The Maester's are taking very good care of him and we have finally agreed on a date for the wedding."
"I hope it is soon," Aemond says to your surprise, listening and watching your mother carefully, with a serious gaze, "Though I would not be surprised if my father in his state, has suggested the end of the year."
"No, it's not like that," she tells him almost in the same condescending tone, "I let him know what you are expecting and the date has been dictated for before the end of spring, on another moon."
You hold back your huge smile and excitement, holding Aemond's hand a little tightly in a second out of excitement, that just sounding perfect, just what you wished for.
And even though you know Aemond must also feel the same happiness, he doesn't show it in front of your mother, holding back.
"Does my mother know?" he asks your mother in a softer tone.
Rhaenyra denies with a serious but restrained look of sadness and disappointment.
"No," she clears her throat, lowering her gaze for a moment, "I thought you would want to tell her," she confesses to him, "I never find the opportunity to talk to her," she purses her lips, "She won't let me."
Aemond at your side just nods in her direction, understanding. He also understands that this behavior on his mother's part towards his half-sister has always been there since she returned to the Keep.
And he doesn't think that will change, even after the wedding, but he appreciates Rhaenyra's efforts to try to talk to her and not leave her out of his wedding, despite her insensitivity at Driftmark.
It doesn't mean he'll be nice and friendly to her, it's just that little appreciation.
Then slowly Aemond turns to you and leaves a soft kiss on your forehead, locking you in his arms for a moment, wanting to feel you close.
You smile and hug him back, turning your face to look at your mother with a small more than happy smile on your lips, your mother also smiling in your direction, honestly feeling happy for the both of you.
News of the date begins to spread among the families and soon after throughout the Court as well, with the wedding of Prince Aemond Targaryen and Princess Y/N Velaryon being the most anticipated of the year.
It was still something Otto and Alicent Hightower didn't want, neither did Daemon Targaryen, but the King had already given his blessing and he himself wanted the news to spread throughout Westeros, wanting a truly unforgettable wedding.
Until a few days after your mother let you both know the wedding date, you unexpectedly began to see Aemond less frequently.
Usually the two of you every day go for a walk in the garden or meet in the library. And if you don't have time during the day, at night he sneaks into your chamber or you sneak into his through the secret passages.
However, none of that also happened to make up for lost time.
You would see him a few moments at the training yard with Criston Cole and a few other knights, but that was about it. And when you looked for him in the library, it looked like he wasn't going to spend any more time there.
And just when you decided to sneak through the secret passages to go to his chambers, you stopped and thought to yourself that maybe he's nervous and needs time to think about the wedding.
The wedding of the two of you is something you were longing for since you understood the meaning of a union that now that it's finally going to happen…probably has him very anxious and needs space.
Until the days go by and you start to feel that something is wrong, as you realize that he is avoiding you, something he has never done before.
You tried to talk to him but Criston Cole would let you know that he was having a meeting with his grandsire or was in the company of the queen. He would also tell you that the prince was out for a ride on his dragon.
You asked him to send him a message from you when he saw him, but it seemed that those messages never reached his ears or if they did, he ignored you.
And when you went to look for him at the training yard, you were told that the prince had skipped his training or had already trained very early in the morning, leaving you confused and not understanding anything.
You were completely disconcerted that the two of you suddenly stopped seeing each other and spending time together, so without thinking about it, one night you took the secret passage and slipped into the darkness with a candle in your hand and headed to Aemond's chambers.
But as you try to push his secret door, confusion overcomes you and your pulse stops for a moment when it won't open, being blocked by something from the other side.
You think about shouting his name, but instantly you know it's a very bad idea as you can't risk the secrecy of the passageways out of desperation.
But more and more disappointment and worry fill you, not understanding what is happening and thinking that it must be something bad.
At this, you show your concern to your mother, who continues to attend to matters at Court, keeping an eye on the King's health and helping you with the preparations for the wedding.
"Sure it's nothing, sweet girl. Men act in ways we don't understand, just as we act in ways they don't understand us. Perhaps he is preparing to be a good husband to you and both of you to do your duty for the realm.
"But it seems so strange to me," you say worried, "He doesn't talk to me, I practically don't see him and he even seems to avoid me."
"Have you tried to talk to him yet?"
"Yes, yes, all the time," you reply in an instant, "He even said he would help me get everything ready for the wedding but… I never see him."
"Y/N—
"I just don't understand, mother. We used to spend time together and now that we're finally getting married, he's acting weird."
"Sweet girl—
"Or is it that he doesn't want to marry me anymore?"
You interrupt him with a broken voice and utter disappointment and sadness in your eyes, realization starting to creep into your mind, truly not understanding anything.
"My love, you shouldn't go to extremes," your mother tells you in an instant, not wanting you to get upset and start thinking the worst, "He's been longing for this wedding as much as you have. He's probably just nervous and needs some time."
You look at your beautiful mother not so sure.
"Are you sure?" you ask her in a breathy whisper.
"Yes, my love, very sure."
She quickly moves towards you to lock you in her arms and comfort you, telling you that everything will be all right and that what you want so much , will finally happen.
But if only that had been it.
Not long after talking to your mother, once you head to your mother's chambers after leaving the chambers of your sweet Aunt Helaena with whom you were discussing some lovely ideas for the wedding, a guard intercepts you in the middle of the hallway, stopping you.
"Prince Aemond requires your presence in the Council Chamber, Princess. Immediately."
Such words could not have made you feel happier and relieved, finally ending this torture, so you quickly make your way to the Council Chamber, in an instant thinking about why Aemond has asked to see you there.
But honestly you don't care, all you want is to finally see him and talk to him.
And in an instant you already find yourself walking through the doors of the Council Chamber, happy to see Aemond's figure finally, standing with his back to you from the other side of the table, waiting for you.
But you must have thought something was wrong when he didn't even turn to look at you when he heard the sound of the doors opening and your footsteps approaching.
"My love, I'm so relieved to finally see you," you say with a smile, approaching him happily, "I was so worried, you don't know how much I wanted to see you and talk to you. I have so much to tell you, I even came to think that….
"I won't marry you."
Then your whole world stops, just like your feet, stopping abruptly at his words, your smile fading in a second and watching him now in shock.
The room goes completely silent, with no one else present, just the two of you, not even a guard present at his request for discretion… for now.
"I have spoken to my father… I have already cancelled all preparations, the Septon and my family have also been made aware."
And at his words, you feel like each one of them is a knife straight to your heart, tearing it from the inside, feeling an intent, sharp pain in your chest.
You look at him with your lips parted, your gaze completely bewildered and your eyes starting to fill with tears.
You are completely paralyzed, unable to move despite feeling yourself start to tremble, seeing him not even look back at you, telling you all this without any emotion, as if it meant nothing.
"Your family must also be being notified right now, the whole Court will know soon too."
"But…
You try to say with a thread of a voice, but he again speaks, still turning his back to you and with no emotion in his voice, no emotion in his posture either, leaving you to see a man you don't know completely.
"That's all. You can leave now."
Disbelief is completely reflected in your gaze, truly not understanding anything, with tears starting to involuntarily flow out of your eyes at his coldness and insensitivity.
Because he's already done everything… without you having the slightest idea.
"Are you serious?"
You manage to say, your voice completely broken and in a whisper, needing to sit up or lean against something, feeling your strength go.
"Doesn't it sound like I'm serious?"
"Aemond—
"I told you that's all, you can leave now," he repeats you with the same seriousness and coldness, as if you were nobody to him.
Then the first sob escapes your lips, trying to control yourself, but you cannot.
You continue to stand there, watching him with all the sadness in the world, also with all the confusion, really not understanding anything, needing an explanation, wanting to know why, what you have done wrong, what has happened, why he so suddenly changed his mind.
Everything was all right, everything seemed right, that you just don't understand.
"I-I don't… I don't understand anything—
"If you don't leave Y/N, I'll leave," he warns you, without even looking you in the eye for a second.
"But you… I-I… I thought—
He won't let you talk, he just doesn't want to listen to you and just like he said, that's what he does. He lets out a frustrated sigh and heads out of the Council Chamber, leaving you behind, heartbroken and not knowing why.
"Aemond," you call out to him between sobs, pleading.
Not knowing where you have drawn strength from, you move towards him once he is within reach, grabbing his arm, wanting to stop him and make him explain, but as soon as you reach him, he quickly pushes you away in a sharp, tactless movement, treating you, again, as if you were nobody.
"Don't."
He warns you in a threatening and cold tone, resuming his way to the doors in a more hurried pace, not even looking back.
His demeanor and coldness leave you completely shocked and static, never in a million years expecting such behavior from him towards you.
And once he leaves the Council Chamber, you feel your heart completely broken and your mind a mess of emotions, wanting to believe that this is not real, starting to cry and sob loudly.
A complete mess, Aemond leaves you there without explanation and without caring at all about your feelings, all being said and done.
Not long after, your mother and father rush into the Council Chamber, looking for you, finding you still a mess and you quickly asking them for explanations, explanations they had no idea about either.
And all that time, you kept asking yourself why, why he had done this to you if he was supposed to love you and want to marry you. But nobody understood anything.
Only he knew why he had done it.
Weeks have passed since the announcement of the cancelled betrothal between prince Aemond and princess Y/N.
You being the protagonist of the topic to talk about, even so the men and women of the Court were not at all dissimulated and kept feeding the news more and more with each passing day.
Different rumors ran about the possible cause that caused the wedding to be canceled, rumors that you did not want to hear and for which you ended up locking yourself in your chamber, not wanting to see anyone.
You barely slept and barely ate, watching the days pass by through your windows slowly, with huge bags under your eyes and dismissing your maids whenever they wanted to assist you.
You hadn't seen him since that conversation either.
You didn't hear from anyone except your family who were in charge of making you react by going into your chamber to take a bath and eat something, your mother extremely worried about you and your father specifically having someone in mind for wanting to murder upon seeing your state.
Everyone was still as confused as you were, even your mother asked Queen Alicent for an explanation, but to no avail. She even tried to talk to Aemond, but he wouldn't let her, saying that everything was already done.
It was so much the humiliation that not even your mother would force you to leave your chamber, no matter how much she wanted to get you out of your four walls, Daemon feeling extremely upset and indignant.
Your brothers never said anything to you, but they were extremely worried about you too, as were your sisters Baela and Rhaena.
Even your grandmother Rhaenys sent her concerns from Driftmark, but no one had any explanations for anyone.
And you too, despite everything, still wanted an explanation from him. You wanted to understand, you wanted to know why… because you needed to, you needed to know.
But you never tried to talk to him again. How could you if he had left you totally devastated with no justification?
And you knew that if you tried, Aemond wouldn't be willing to talk to you. He found it easier to forget and move on, as if nothing had happened, without caring, just what he is doing now.
Until one day the king requested a dinner with every member of his family, including you, without any exception, wanting to have a dinner with everyone together, wanting the waters to calm down after so much tension.
Your mother assured you that your grandsire was no longer blinded by the milk of poppy, that he made sure to drink less of it now, and yet you thought that your grandsire still conscious, made the worst decisions.
You could no longer continue to take refuge in your chambers, so with no alternative, your maids prepare you for dinner, dressing you and making you a hairstyle as usual, nothing new and nothing missing.
"You can do this, my sweet girl."
Your loving mother says to you, holding your face with both her hands.
"We will be with you at all times. I will be with you always by your side," she assures you, "You just ignore him, ignore them all, I will do the rest. Let's just please your grandsire on this, all right?"
Unable to help yourself, you hug your mother tightly and in one needy movement, to which she hugs you back with all that love and all that comfort you so desperately need, understanding you completely.
You try not to cry, because you've cried too much already and you're tired of it, but now you can't help it, needing your perfect mother for strength.
"Thank you," you murmur into her chest.
"I love you, my love. I would do anything for you."
You smile with happiness and sadness at the same time, with pain, starting to cry, trying not to make noise.
"I love you too."
She then tells you that you can stay a moment longer in her chambers before leaving to give you time, but what you don't want is to draw attention to yourself, so you prefer to arrive before anyone else in the dining room.
Then your whole family takes their respective seats, your father instantly giving you the seat next to your mother so that you are not sitting across from him, everyone knowing perfectly well which is his usual seat.
Then the doors open again and it's them, all the green ones.
You lower your gaze and pretend not to care about anything as he walks through the doors, following Aegon, just being in the same room as him making you feel something you don't know exactly what it is but you don't like it, feeling uncomfortable as well.
He doesn't look a single second in your direction either, but instantly being the center of attention of your father, who is the one who takes a seat in front of him, with Rhaena and Luke.
Shortly after, the King makes his entrance, everyone rising from their seats to greet him.
And more shortly after, you want to say that time fortunately passes quickly but unfortunately it doesn't, so you just suffer in silence, with your mother holding your hand from time to time, wanting to give you all her possible support in this.
The servants serve the food and wine, that fortunately distracting you, also the music your grandsire orders to play, this being a bit more bearable.
But all you want to do is get out of this room and never be in the company of all the Hightowers ever again.
You know that sweet Helaena is not to blame for anything, but she is part of them too by being Aegon's wife and already having three children with him.
And that couldn't make you sadder… sweet Helaena being wife to a man who doesn't deserve her.
Your father offers you his hand in a moment as Rhaena and Luke rise from their seats and head to the center to dance, also Jace invites Helaena.
Your father shows you his support even though he had said from the beginning that your betrothal to Aemond was a bad idea. But you are also his sweet little girl and he lets you know that he will always be there for you.
When the moment is interrupted by Otto Hightower, wanting to make an announcement, stopping the music and drawing the attention of everyone in the room.
You exchange a glance with your father, you don't even look in Otto's direction when everyone else does, because he is so close to his grandsire.
"Now that we're all together, I'm very pleased to let you know the great news."
Otto Hightower says and you raise your wine glass to your lips, not really caring.
"My grandson Prince Daeron who is in Oldtown, will soon return to the capital to marry Cerelle Lannister, daughter of our Naval advisor, Jason Lannister," he announces proudly.
Everything is silent for a few seconds, you still not giving importance to anything or anyone, still thinking about the great news, definitely.
You didn't even remember Daeron, he's been so long away from King's Landing that it's impossible to remember him. And before anyone says anything, just to corroborate what Otto is saying, he again speaks up.
"It is also my pleasure to inform you that my grandson Aemond…
Your heart stops for a second, as well as that definitely catches everyone's attention, everyone listening attentively and you too, unconsciously.
"He has also been betrothed to one of Lord Borros Baratheon's four daughters, the lady Floris Baratheon," he says and continues, "These two marriages clearly being more than excellent benefits to the house of the dragon and so securing our bloods, both the common and the blood of old Valyria."
At that moment you did not notice the exchange of glances from your brothers and sisters, also the mocking smile that your father let out when he heard the man's words, as well as the serious look on your mother's face when she heard everything.
You just focused on yourself, pretending none of it mattered to you, feigning indifference, when your mind could only repeat one thing at all times:
"My grandson Aemond has also been betrothed to one of Lord Borros Baratheon's four daughters, the Lady Floris Baratheon."
You want to cry. And a lot.
However, it was only more humiliation than necessary and you had to control yourself, needing this dinner to be over as soon as possible.
Again absolute silence is in the huge room, you couldn't care less.
When Alicent is the first to congratulate her son, as well as your grandsire in a weak and hoarse voice, then your mother also offers the coldest congratulations she has ever given, simply to keep up appearances.
And you can only think: was this necessary?
How mean Otto Hightower had to be and so did Alicent to want to humiliate you further by announcing such a thing, to you and your entire family for that matter. It just wasn't necessary.
Until finally the dinner is over and everyone can leave once the king takes his leave and retires to his chambers first.
Completely controlling your tears, you enter your room with your father more than furious, followed by your mother and your brothers and sisters.
"What the fuck was that!?" he inquires to your mother.
"My love—
"Do you really think I'm just going to stand here and do nothing!?"
"Oh truly? And what are you going to do?" asks your mother too, seriously, "Cut off the heads of Aemond and Otto Hightower?"
"They have humiliated us, Rhaenyra!" he exclaims to her in annoyance, "they can talk and humiliate me all they want, but they will not humiliate you or my family!"
"Father—
Baela tries to talk to him, but he won't let her.
"We're going to go talk to Viserys this instant and Y/N's wedding to that fucking one-eyed is going to happen."
"Are you serious?" your mother inquires again, "Husband, you were the first to oppose the marriage."
"They have humiliated our daughter, don't you see!" he points out angrily, "Her marriage to Aemond would have given us more power over them if we had him and Vhagar on our side. Now by the time Viserys dies, you're not going to have enough support for your claim," he tells her seriously, "We need Lord Borros on our side as well."
"Daemon, this isn't about the crown, this is about our daughter."
"And that is exactly why I will not let such humiliation pass," he tells her seriously and with a dark look on his face, "He asked for Y/N's hand, he gave you a whole speech to allow him to marry her, now he keeps his word or he marries no one, just like that."
"I want to go home."
You speak in the middle of all the discussion, staring at an unimportant spot in your chamber, tears running down your cheeks, your sad, tired, broken voice calling for everyone's attention.
Your mother and sisters quickly turn to you, concerned about your condition.
"What is it, my love?"
Your mother asks you, running her hands through your hair, watching you intently.
"I want to go home," you repeat, "I want to go to Dragonstone."
Your mother immediately looks at your father, who looks back at her, serious and attentive to you, feeling more upset at seeing you so broken.
"My love, we can't leave," your mother tells you in a soft voice, "We need to take care of your grandsire and stay at Court, as it should be."
"You stay here," you say in an instant, "I will go."
Your mother denies, understanding you, but unable to allow it.
"My love, don't—
"Mother please," you plead, "Please, at least just for a little while, I promise I'll come back," you beg, "But now… I just want to get out of here, please."
Your mother watches you for a few moments without saying anything with her lips parted, again exchanging a glance with Daemon, who nods slightly in her direction.
But Rhaenyra won't let you go just like that. She is your mother, after all.
"You'll be alone, my sweet," she says with some fear, "I can't leave you alone and I won't be at ease with that."
"She won't be," Rhaena says instantly, drawing everyone's attention, "I'll go with her and Luke will too. We'll come back when she's ready."
"No, absolutely not," says your mother resolutely, "I can't have the three of you in Dragonstone alone, no—
"Let them," your father interrupts, "I'd rather Y/N leave this snake pit until everything calms down. I feel better with the idea of Rhaena and Luke accompanying her, so the three of them will take care of each other."
"And we won't necessarily always have to stay at Dragonstone," Rhaena adds, "We can fly to Driftmark and spend a few days keeping our grandmother company too."
Your mother turns your gaze to you, who you completely beg with your gaze to let you do this, to let you go for now.
And of course, you feel completely grateful to Rhaena and your little brother for not letting you go alone. Clearly Jace and Baela are the heirs after your parents and it makes the most sense for them to stay here at Court.
Until finally your mother lets out a long breath, not herself believing she will accept this, being too afraid to let her children go to Dragonstone alone.
Though she knows there is no better safe place for them, even safer than King's Landing.
"All right," she finally says, "But I'll fly with you there and then I'll come back, just to make sure everything will be all right."
You immediately nod, not really caring, since all you want to do is get out of here and not come back.
Again your mother hugs you, transmitting all that comfort and affection you always need from her, really not wanting to leave here. You were so excited to go back to the Keep but you weren't expecting any of this to happen.
And now you just want to go home and come back when you feel better.
Soon enough you find yourself in Dragonpit, with your mother, Luke and Rhaena ready to fly to Dragonstone, with your father, Jace, Baela, Joffrey, little Aegon and little Viserys seeing them off.
All the while shedding tears, lasting more nights without sleep and more days with no appetite for anything, only finding comfort in riding your dragon as your mother was not around.
And as soon as you finish saying goodbye, the sooner you find yourself in the skies and the sooner you arrive at the black castle, your home.
You needed to let many moons pass to cope with your broken heart and such humiliation, also to accept that Aemond never really loved you and that he would soon marry another woman who would not be you.
But Silverwing was always there for you and could feel everything you felt.
Until one day, more moons after your departure from King's Landing, Rhaenyra and Daemon Targaryen return to Dragonstone with their entire family for a short time, promising to return soon.
And shortly after the Heir to the Throne leaves King's Landing, a raven arrives at the Red Keep, announcing the unexpected new news.
The Heir, Princess Rhaenyra returns to King's Landing in less than two moons with her prince consort Prince Daemon and her entire family to celebrate the wedding of Princess Y/N Velaryon to Lord Cregan Stark, Lord of Winterfell.
And that message is spread all over the Red Keep, all over King's Landing and eventually all over Westeros.
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