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somekindofsentience · 1 month

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why secret anger is a better tool than secret sadness, or hiding rage under a persona of nurture.

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR: OMORI, DEMON SLAYER AND OSHI NO KO. I WILL BE SPOILING THE LATTER TWO'S MANGA SO BEAR IN MIND THAT WATCHING THE ANIME ONLY WILL NOT PREVENT YOU FROM FURTHER SPOILERS.

WARNING: DISCUSSIONS OF SUICIDE, GRIEF, LOSS AND MENTAL ILLNESS

We've all seen the character who has secretly been very sad their entire lives. Fuck, some of us are that character, and maybe have been for a while.

It's relatively easy to hide a sad backstory for a character, and it opens room to give them depth later on. And, unique to side or background characters, it allows the protagonist (and by extension, the reader) to connect further with them, giving the façade of plot and sub-plot depth. Of course, it's perfectly possible to do this well - it's possible to do every trope well - but it's also very possible to do this poorly.

And... it's so boring.

Like come on. Sad woman sad. Very sad. We're all sad, because we've been told to feel sad by the author. How sad.

I believe that there are far more fascinating tropes to explore, with much more depth - and I'd like to talk about one of my favourite forms of this. Hiding inner anger is infinitely more interesting, especially if the character can hide it well.

I've chosen three characters to discuss for this - Mari from OMORI, Ai Hoshino from Oshi No Ko, and Shinobu Kochou from Demon Slayer. I think all three of them perfectly capture the "hidden anger" trope very well, and I'll connect all of them, which allows us to understand the purpose of this character archetype overall.

Mari is an incredibly complex character, one whose complexity is actually very easy to miss. Due to Sunny's unreliable narration, we perceive Mari as perfect, since he blocks out any of her personality which mimics the truth. In Headspace, she's an incredibly default NPC, acting as a pillar for quest clues, healing and saving the game. As a player, you come to see her as some sort of comfort, a recurring symbol in irregular places. This evidently changes when Sunny discovers the truth, and we come to accept what he has done. However, Mari is never properly portrayed in the game - we only see her through the lens of the others - which means a lot of the fandom doesn't quite understand her character, let alone understand the selfish nature of perfectionism. There is nothing in the game that suggests she had external pressure causing her perfectionism (although I personally headcanon this), so we must go off it being internally driven.

Mari is not a tragically sad, or gorgeously happy character. She has been punishing herself with pent-up anger. Imagine you've been practicing something for months, over and over, only to find out your duet partner doesn't care anywhere near as much as you do. No-one cares as much as you do. All those months of practice ultimately mean nothing. Every time you pushed yourself to play the same song on repeat until it drove you insane mean nothing, because of this one moment, one stupid angry moment from your brother.

Despite all this, Mari isn't allowed to be angry, which is why the Truth segments still show her acting in an adult fashion (taking the unused Truth descriptions as canon).

In the photos of the truth, Mari looks like a disappointed mother, telling off Sunny. She says she "isn't finished talking...", like a parent. Mari was fifteen when she died. She had no outlet for this rage at all, no time to be a teenager, when she was the mother figure of the group. Her character trope as the "nurturer" trapped her in a hellish cycle of perfectionism, hiding everything until her absolute breaking point - which lead to her death.

In Oshi no Ko, Ai Hoshino is a perfect mother, perfect idol, perfect person. This seems widely agreed by literally everyone, and the manga follows her son's attempts to avenge her murder, and her daughter's attempts to follow in her footsteps. Although the goals of the children change partway through, when Ruby learns the truth of Ai's death and Aqua loses faith in his scheme... Ai remains a pillar of gold. And yet, we find out during the creation of the movie on Ai's life that people around her suspect she was hiding anger.

While I have perhaps... fallen behind... in my reading of Oshi No Ko, I'm just going to go purely off this panel and the previous chapters to analyse. Forgive me, I completely forgot which character says this, everyone's hair looks the same and I can't tell if it's Akane or the lady that adopted Aqua and Ruby. It's been a while.

Ultimately, Ai Hoshino is confused, and this makes her angry. We know she's never felt love before in her life - not until she had her children - which would be incredibly frustrating. You see everyone around you experience happiness and joy, and yet life keeps reminding you that your childhood was shitty, you work in the most insane industry of all time and you're exhausted. There's some implication that Ai's relationship with Aqua and Ruby's father was complicated, so perhaps that's the reason she's furious.

Regardless, Ai is far more complicated than every character portrays her as, which makes her interesting. As a reader, you smell a rat instantly. Something is off about the way she is glamourised, and you know you're missing a piece of this puzzle.

Shinobu outright states that she's been angry her entire life, at least since Kanae's death. She's been mimicking Kanae's sweet smile as an act of remembrance, but Shinobu is not happy, not calm, not sweet like Kanae was. Now, Shinobu isn't the most nurturing figure - at least not to Tanjirou, and not much to Kanao either - but she still acts in that calm, motherly demeanor, mimicking her older sister. In that way, Shinobu is also a perfectionist - she's just got a standard to match up to.

Shinobu is often mocked in the fandom for being "weak", but I think that's not the right way to understand her character. The fact that she doesn't fight off raw strength alone is symbolic, because it tricks the reader into thinking she's sweet and calm. No-one who is that weak can be full of such rage... right?

Mari and Ai Hoshino have further links due to the way they are portrayed after their death - as perfect. Sunny heavily misconstrues his sister, acting as an unreliable narrator for her personality, and it seems as though no-one will ever know what Ai was truly like inside. Instead, characters remark on their outward traits, which fandoms then fall into... guys. you're literally being trapped by the same trap their families and friends fell into. you're being gaslit by two dead women. please try to look past the silly little mirror they tried to reflect themselves in.

Now, what is the purpose of this archetype? They aren't main characters, and they aren't there as a fake display of depth, so what are they there for? All three of these characters die to further the plot - but more importantly, they act as a catalyst for character change in their sibling or children. Mari's death single-handedly destroys an entire friendship group, but it is also the reason they are brought back together. She alone allows Sunny to forgive himself, and within that, he must accept that she wasn't perfect, just as he isn't. Ai's death ruins Aqua and Ruby, but it gives them goals, something to work toward (symbolised with stars in their eyes). Shinobu's death allows Kanao to step forward and confront Akaza, which changes Kanao as a character, but it also ties up Kanae's subplot neatly.

To the player/reader, their deaths are far more important than their lives, but there is much more to explore in their lives than people understand. This is true complexity, and it's frustrating when it's brushed over in aus or fanfics.

Please, dig deeper. Look harder. Turn these dolls into humans, because they are corpses for a reason.

can you tell i find scary women pretty aggagagahgagsa

song i listened to while writing this: テレパス by Yorushika

The song is very good at capturing loneliness, and rage is quite an isolating emotion. Mari, Ai and Shinobu are all hiding an inner version of themselves, and they took that form to their graves.

#omori #omori analysis #oshi no ko #ai hoshino #omori mari #shinobu kocho #demon slayer #kny #sentience's stuff

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brightstarbutalsoidot · 1 year

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of liars, sinners, love, and the day after tomorrow

What Aqua Hoshino used to know of love can be found in long strands of violet hair and eyes that hold the universe itself. An unfalteringly bubbly voice, a smile to charm the heavens, and a hug that told Aqua more than words just to what extent Ai Hoshino’s capacity to love could reach. Whenever she looked at him and his sister, she looked as if they were brought from paradise itself, and whenever she spoke to them, her words popped with fond softness and parental pride, and Aqua thought to himself that Ai Hoshino was an angel called from above to grace this world with her laughter and her smile and her songs and her love and her lies. Ai Hoshino, above all else, was a liar. She lied to her fans, she lied to her fellow idols, she lied to her company, and even to herself. Ai Hoshino did love. Ai loved so much, was loved so much, and that was not a lie. For all Ai says about lies being her way of expressing love, her love was completely devoid of it. True warmth, like gentle hands caressing your cheek, like a wry smile or a look of pure bliss directed at you, Ai Hoshino loved her children more than the world loved Ai of B-Komachi.

Aqua Hoshino has not known love since lifeless eyes that used to outshine even the galaxy itself stared unblinkingly at him. Tears flowed down his cheeks, or maybe it was her blood ( there was so much blood, so so so much, Ai, please please don’t go please ). It didn’t matter. Ai Hoshino died holding onto what she loved, free from the burden of her lies, free from the burden of this godforsaken industry, and her lies became her truth. Ai Hoshino loved her children, and that definitely was not a lie.

What Aqua Hoshino knows of love now is found in scarlet hair, scarlet eyes, and a smooth, melodic voice that did not hesitate to singlehandedly shove Aqua out of his walls, effortlessly tearing them down with an ease that terrified him. There’s something in the way that Kana Arima stares at him so sincerely and so warmly at times that shakes him. He doesn’t deserve it. Why? He doesn’t deserve love, not when so much hate pools in his gut and thrives in his veins, not when friends are just assets and connections, not when everything and everyone would all be just means to his end, someone like him shouldn’t be loved. This Aqua Hoshino who is so strong, who is so reliable, who is so helpful, who is so sincerely loved by Kana Arima, Aqua wished to meet him one day, because that person could never be him.

The Hoshino family is cursed to lie for love, and Aqua has never resented that fact before. Why start now? Lies are all he is, layer upon layer upon layer of unlovable and miserable hatred piled on top of each other like an amalgamation of sin and filth, yes, this is who Aqua Hoshino is. A liar who only knows how to act, how to manipulate, and nothing else. For all good that his knowledge as a doctor did for him, for it didn’t matter in the times he needed it most. Even if he was 4, even if his hands were pudgy and tiny and could barely grasp his mother’s hand, even if he had none of his equipment, there should have been something, anything he could have done for Ai.

What Aqua Hoshino knows of love now is found in azure strands of hair and eyes that pierce through him again and again, eyes that stare at him with complete faith and devotion that he does not deserve but will use anyway. Aqua didn’t mean to care for Akane Kurokawa, but the queen on his chessboard is not someone he will ever force to suffer for his sake. He’s caused enough pain in both lifetimes, as a doctor who couldn’t be there for his patient, and as a son who couldn’t save his mother, he’s done enough. Better for her to be discarded than die, he tells himself, better for her to be out of my life than be someone I attend another funeral for, he tells himself. Akane Kurokawa is a sinner, and for the sake of Aqua Hoshino, she will have gladly bloodied her hands if it meant his freedom from the chains of his vengeance. The lie becomes the truth, if told often enough, if told well enough. Akane was Aqua’s first girlfriend, and maybe in a better world, a kinder time, Aqua would hold her hand and introduce her with a smile to Ai, and tell his mother that “This one, this is who I have fallen for,” but that is a lie. Aqua Hoshino does not love, not anymore, but he can’t find it in himself to stop caring. Their relationship is strange. Lovers but not quite, partners who don’t trust the other, sinners cut from the same cloth who would burn the heavens all the way to the earth if it would protect the other. Maybe that was love, even twisted and skewed and wrong and sinful, maybe Akane Kurokawa and Aqua Hoshino had love, and for a time, maybe it hadn’t been a lie.

What Aqua Hoshino knows of love is lies. Beautiful lies, expressive lies, secretive lies, sinful lies, protective lies, truthful lies. Aqua Hoshino is a liar, clear as day, and he lies to his idol, he lies to his girlfriend, he lied to his mother, and he lies to his sister. Ruby Hoshino grew up in a world without Ai for over a decade, with only the warmth of Miyako-san and the cold love that Aqua showed her, a love written in a tapestry of lies too entangled to unravel with a single conversation. Even if he would never know, Aqua loved her then as Gorou Amamiya and Sarina Tendoji, albeit wasn’t in the way she wanted, and Aqua loves her now as his sister, as Aqua Hoshino and Ruby Hoshino, the Twin Stars of Japan.

Aqua Hoshino is a liar, and Ruby Hoshino is the only one who truly gives him what he deserves. He can’t help but love his sister for that even more. She hates him, truly and utterly despises him for what he’s done, for what he’s told and for what their lives have become, for disgracing Ai and for telling the world what should have stayed locked in a box and buried next to the coffin of their mother. Good, Hate me, despise me, for I am someone not worth loving. When all is said and done, Ruby will still hate him, and maybe that brings a pain that blooms in his chest that he can’t fully explain, a pain of needles stabbing at his throat and drying his voice, a pain borne from the thought that his sister of flesh and blood and someone who shared the burden of their mother’s legacy and the grief that came with it, being hated by someone like that hurt Aqua in ways he would never be comfortable with speaking or thinking of. Let Ruby hate him, let her spite him, let her gaze of happiness and warmth that now yielded a calculating gleam that Aqua saw in every mirror that taunted him pierce through him and rip this body to shreds. Ruby Hoshino utterly hates Aqua Hoshino for what he has done, and this definitely is not a lie.

When all is said and done and Aqua is gone, he is at least glad that Ruby won’t mourn for his sake. She’s had enough grief for a lifetime. At least hated as he is, Aqua won’t make Ruby suffer even more when he’s finally gone for good. It’s better this way.

What Gorou Amamiya knew of love is in white, sterile rooms with bleak windows and a girl who would not live longer than twelve speaking to him of an idol group she loves so, so dearly, and it is a happy memory.

If you tell a lie long enough, well enough, it will become the truth. Aqua Hoshino is someone not worth loving and Gorou Amamiya is someone not worth remembering, but maybe one day they both will. Maybe one day Aqua will go there and see flowers on his grave and know that someone loved him even then, that someone remembered who this man was, that someone cared . Maybe one day Aqua will look beside himself and see himself surrounded with people he loves and people who love him as he is, and maybe he will smile. Maybe one day, the lies will finally become the truth.

That day is not today, neither will it be tomorrow, but maybe, just maybe, it would be the day after that. As tomorrow bleeds into yesterday, maybe then will Aqua Hoshino finally, truly love again, free of the lies that glimmer like stars and unburdened by the weight of the heavens. That day may not be today, but it will arrive all the same.

#Oshi no ko #Gorou Amamiya #Aqua Hoshino #Kana Arima #Hoshino Ruby #Ai Hoshino #Akane Kurokawa #character introspection #a lil bit of #character study #this series has me on a chokehold #bittersweet #drabble

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hungnitan · 1 year

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Binge reading Oshi no Ko until latest chapter (as now ch 115) and my conclusion kinda funny with title isn't that match with the context (I guess read too many isekai manga with long title affect me lol)

Before anyone confuse, let me tell everyone that I only watch 2 episode firsthandly then read all chapter so I was thought Oshi no Ko is about life as idol's children while thinking their child become idol too (tbh opening song too really misleading lol). But overall it's enjoyable, it exposed many bad side of entertaiment in specific idol and acting world. Eventhough some case pretty unrealistic and scifi, not too mention their star like Sasuke mangekyo sharingan eyes things which makes me wonder is the title supposed to be pun of Hoshi no Ko ?

While looking to anime again, despite not her intent role, I still think Ai Hoshino VA Rie Takanashi really doing a great job on delivering Ai personality just like Hutao Genshin since their energy feels same one of reason I try watching this anime of course and of course Kent Ito as Aqua should do a good job with entertaiment genre anime.

But if I gonna give honest answer, I think this anime will suffer "really popular for season one only" syndrome since well... I read manga too, only some plot have a unexpected twist except you really interest in dark joke or deepening your knowledge how harsh entertaiment world are (lol)

Well as for me, since it's shonen jump weekly, it include in my weekly reading schedule from now on (lol) since depend on their editor I think that manga gonna end soon (maybe around next 2 year)

#oshi no ko #ai hoshino #ruby hoshino #aqua hoshino #I personally like this manga #but better read or watch binge #since some arc pretty slow pace #tbh I don't know a things about kaguya love is war #i heard some reference are from that manga #like things suddenly gone south (lol)#but wow i still impressed this manga got approved #16 year old pregnant with twins #and the scarier is their father #then the things behind this manga #somehow i can put some words the things behind these starry eyes #but if this kind of genre become popular #i guess anime watcher mostly middle ages nowdays huh

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silvertsundere · 1 year

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Silver Talks AniManga (23/04/23)

another chill week HOWEVER tuesday is a holiday and I got pto for monday AND there's not gonna be a jump issue cause of golden week so I'll some of that extra time to watch at least the first 3 eps (the good ol rule) of some of the anime this season and try to put a dent on all the old "watching" stuff I had from years ago before I start going through the stuff I've missed over the years and before I start my next big manga binge

Anime

Mashle Ep3

it was an alright episode, nothing really to note, I do be liking the voice acting tho (for the most part)

Jigokuraku Ep4

I was right it was very good, takarie going off fr this season with yuzuriha, the megumin spinoff and hoshino ai too

the quality of the anime is still consistent which is good, gabimaru did some cool flashy stuff, tho it annoyed me that the panel with genryuusai's peeled face was only a handful of frames cause it felt like it had a lot more impact in the manga, but I know I'm gonna have to get used to that since it's an anime and all that

Pokemon Horizons Ep3

nothing crazy but still a very nice episode, like I said next time, it just feels like a breath of fresh air to not have ash around, it feels like the anime isn't shackled anymore to the gyms -> championship formula and it can start exploring more stuff. roy is joining the cast next week so I hope he isn't annoying. also I thought it was strange the anime was set in kanto since this is the gen 9 anime but they ARE going to paldea so that's good

Manga

Dandadan Ch102

continuation of vamola's backstory feelsbadman. got to her mech suit tho pog

JOJOLands Ch3

decent chap, not much happened unlike the previous one but that's ok, we got the first stand fight brewing tho so that's good

Jojo: Hol Horse/Josuke Spinoff Ch15

decent chap, good to see hol's character arc throughout the whole manga finally come to it's peak, next chap is the last but it had a nice little run

Tokyo Underworld Ch38

I said some week's ago hirasaka was gonna die and they really filled this chap with red flags for him lol

The Ichinose Family's Deadly Sins Ch 22

Jiangshi X Ch13

nothing of note tbh, they're still moping around what happened and not moving on fast enough

Fabricant 100 Ch19

ah, #1 finally showed up so it's finally gearing up for the end, took a bit longer than expected but saw it coming for a while

Kill Blue Ch2

decent chap, with some plot progression at the end, nice to see it progressing already instead of fucking around for too long

Witch Watch Ch106

a good chap, I figured it wouldn't work just like that but it's a good start, doesn't seem like the next chap will continue it since it doesn't say part 1 but would be for moi to realize his feelings already

Cipher Academy Ch21

a good chap, funny seeing nisio just break the 4th wall like this the cover was really cool too and, like usual, I feel bad for the translator having to explain all the code cards

Blue Box Ch98

good chap, even if things didn't go right for poor taiki, I believe in him tho, and with the big 100 around the corner I'm hoping for some development

Tenmaku Cinema Ch3

I really didn't expect her to be so silly from her introduction but it's very good, good chap too and not taking too long with developments either which is always good to see early on, ofc it should be expected from a veteran duo