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Ice & Fire - Chapter 12

Series Masterlist

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Glossary & Character List (contains spoilers)

Main Pairing: Eren Jaeger X Yuuta Okkotsu

Minor Pairings: Megumi Fushiguro x Rika Orimoto, Satoru Gojo x Suguru Geto, Toji x OC, other pairings TBA for the sake of spoilers ❤️

Genre: Fantasy AU, romance, smut, angst, fluff, a crossover between Attack On Titan and Jujutsu Kaisen, loosely influenced by Game of Thrones and Eragon. Crack taken seriously 😉

Series Summary: Yuuta Okkotsu, the kind-hearted firstborn prince of the kingdom of Nymeria, finds himself stranded on an island that had been thought to only exist in legend. It is there he meets the last of the Valyrians, a dragon-blood named Eren Jaeger. While their days on the island are happy, they can’t last forever. Yuuta has a duty as prince to his kingdom that he must fulfill, and it is this duty that ultimately tears them apart.

Content Warnings/Themes: BL/Yaoi, hybrids, monsters, magic and other supernatural elements, polytheism (gods, demons), infidelity, power imbalances & classism, period-typical misogyny & homophobia, warfare, graphic depictions of violence and death, brothels/sex work, explicit sexual content (blow job, anal sex, rimming, cunnilingus, exhibitionism, monsterfucking, knotting, foot play, heat cycles, 69, cum-eating, spit play, deep-throating, double penetration, sadism, masochism, blood consumption, use of weapons during sex, choking/asphyxiation kink, master/slave kink, handjob, drunk sex, orgy), dub-con, non-con, pregnancy, virginity loss, drugs (alcohol, smoking, poisons), traumatic backstories, mentions of torture/genocide/experimentation on people, unrequited love, arranged marriages, drowning, murder, suicide, yandere tropes, corruption arc, major character deaths

Co-written by Aleks from @alekstraszas and Kana from @ficsforeren/@sundaysundaes

The poster for this chapter was commissioned by Aleks from @/belvishaio on twitter

The Illusion of Love

It is sometime later during that first week of his training, when Eren, flocked by Megumi and Todo at his sides, makes his way towards the servants’ quarters. He typically never has reasons to go this way, as he’s still very much treated as if he were a high-ranking noble within Yuuta’s palace (at the prince’s insistence), but today, he comes along at Megumi’s request.

“Why are we going to help with the deliveries? Isn’t that something the servants would do?” Eren asks aloud.

“Well, yes, but yesterday the farmer mentioned that there would be an especially large delivery today, so he needs all the hands he can get,” Megumi replies.

Megumi doesn’t offer much more of an explanation; he’s a man of few words, as Eren has come to learn over the last few weeks. If it wasn’t for his behavior in the company of Princess Rika, Eren would wonder if Megumi ever spoke at all.

When they arrive outside the servants' quarters, stopping at the side of the palace in which the farmers and craftsmen make their deliveries, they see a tall young female servant carrying small carts of vegetables. She has long black hair that cascades over the plain cloth dress she wears, rosy pale skin, and eyes that shimmer a golden yellow. To anyone else above her station, she would have just been another servant girl who worked in the kitchens, as besides her cheery personality, nothing remotely unique stands out about her. But Eren is able to recognize her right away—if only because of Aoi Todo’s having taken a liking to her. Or rather, a borderline obsession.

“Lady Takada!” Todo calls out to her, and it is obvious by the way she hesitates and squints that his calling is unwelcome, not that he would understand the meaning of her gestures (or if he does, he ignores it). He rushes ahead of the men, and with his burly arms, quickly scoops up the crate she had been dragging toward the doorway. “You shouldn’t carry such heavy things. Let me take these for you, my lady.”

“Ah,” she smiles, though it looks rather forced, as she bows her head. “Thank you, Ser Todo.”

Todo is in such a rush to help her that he ignores the farmer who had been standing nearby offloading crates of seasonal fruits and vegetables. Takada takes a few cloth bags of persimmons from the cart brought by the farmer as she walks with Todo away from the group, bringing their handful of foods to the kitchens. She peeks into the bag and notes to herself with a smile that the persimmons are quite beautifully ripened, shining with their bright orange skins—the perfect fruit for the beginning of the fall season.

When Megumi and Eren arrive, trailing behind Todo, the farmer looks up in their direction. Recognition dawns on his features, a smile breaking out over his lips as his soft brown eyes lock onto Megumi.

“Fushiguro!” The farmer calls out. Eren’s never seen him before. He’s a young man, just a tad shorter than Megumi, with blonde spiky hair and distinctively tanned skin—the marking of a man who works in the sun.

“Itadori,” Megumi greets the man. “Still need our help?”

“Yeah! The palace has ordered so much food since the prince returned. Is there a banquet happening or something?” he starts. Megumi shrugs as Yuuji points a thumb in the direction of the entrance. “By the way, who was that guy with Lady Takada just now?”

“Oh, Todo?” Megumi asks, disinterested. “He’s another one of the knights. He loses focus whenever Lady Takada’s around… He’s somehow convinced she will marry him.”

“Oh?” Yuuji’s eyebrows lift up in surprise. He speaks to Lady Takada often, as she works solely in the kitchens and assists in his deliveries, and has heard nothing of the sort. “She has never spoken of being betrothed.”

Megumi’s flatline expression doesn’t even waiver when he replies, “That’s because she’s not. She rejected him. Many times.”

Yuuji frowns as if Todo’s unsuccessful pursuit of love wounds him personally. “Poor guy.”

It is then that Yuuji’s eyes wander to Megumi’s side as he sets down the cart of goods he had in his arms. He notices Eren standing beside the knight, and his very first reaction is to be shocked at Eren’s stature.

“Who’s this big guy? I’ve never seen him before.” Yuuji asks, craning his neck to meet Eren’s gaze. Though Yuuji is a man of average height, Eren and Todo are more than a head above his stature, something he notices with both of them right away.

Eren replies to the farmer with his name, his voice surprisingly deep and his accent quite thick. He says nothing else—despite how he never seems to be able to shut his mouth around Yuuta, Eren is the opposite around strangers: observant, and rather quiet. He never knows how they may react to him, the only dragon the realm has ever known, so he nods and gives up nothing but his name.

Yuuji’s perplexed by his accent, his brows threading as he questions what he hears. “Are you from another kingdom? You don’t sound Nymerian. Wait!” Eren’s eyes widen while the farmer raises a hand, the dragon confused as Yuuji shouts. The farmer’s eyes sparkle with recognition. “You must be that… that… what did they call it?” He pauses for a moment as he squints, stroking his chin with a perplexed hand.

Eren parts his lips, beginning to speak. “Drago—”

Yuuji suddenly clasps his hands together, finding the word he was searching for: “Lizard!”

Eren frowns. “Lizard?”

Megumi quickly clears his throat, stifling a laugh, as Yuuji gets more animated than ever. Though Megumi himself had thought the same thing upon first seeing Eren’s dragon form, he would never say the thought out loud.

“Yes! The whole village’s been talking about it!” Yuuji makes a gesture with his hands, flattening them out and pushing them through the air as if he were about to dive into a pool of water. “The massive green-eyed lizard-man that flew through the sky and brought home our prince! It’s amazing! My father, he saw you fly over our land with himself. You’ll have to fly again someday because I missed it and I wish to see it with my own eyes.”

“And where were you?” Megumi asks.

“On the toilet,” Yuuji shrugs.

Though it is not as if Eren is walking around advertising that he is a dragon, the nearby village spreads rumors faster than in a blink of an eye. Soldiers who come and go from the palace, the City Watch, servants, laymen—over the last few weeks, all of them have spoken the tale of the day a dragon swooped in from outside the realm with the missing prince on its back, only for it to transform into a man himself. Who else would this incredibly tall man, new to the infantry yet strong enough to be placed as the Lord Commander’s esquire, with an accent Yuuji had never heard of be, if not the dragon?

“I didn’t realize I was the talk of the town,” Eren says. “They’re all wrong though. I’m not a lizard. I’m a dragon. From Valyria.”

“Is that a village in the west or something?” Yuuji blinks.

Eren, annoyed, opens his mouth but Megumi speaks before Eren can utter a word, in an attempt to keep the peace. “Let’s just get everything inside, yeah? You can chat later.”

Despite Yuuji’s confusion and Eren’s glare, the three men lift the wooden crates of fruits and vegetables, carrying them over the threshold of the entryway and into the kitchens. It is there that they find Lady Takada and Ser Todo in the middle of a conversation, Todo with his big, burly shoulders sunken downward.

“I’m sorry, Ser,” she says, now with an audience. She bows her head apologetically. “But I’ve told you before… I’m already in love with someone, my lord.”

The maid moves on, leaving the awkward atmosphere in the kitchens as the men who had just walked in had to stumble upon Todo’s rejection. Todo, despite it not being the first time she's done so, has eyes dampened with tears as he faces his fellow knights. Eren and Megumi are used to such a sight, ignoring the conversation to stack their vegetable crates amongst the other items in the kitchens.

Yuuji, frozen at the sight of Todo’s rejection, catches Todo’s line of sight. At once, Todo calls to him with an accusatory finger, “You, farmer.”

“Y-Yes?” Yuuji looks panicked at once, the crates in his arms feeling heavier with Todo’s stare. Todo’s so much bigger than him, a fist to the face could knock him out cold.

“Lady Takada always says she’s in love with another man, yet she never says their name. What do you think? Do you think she means me?”

Megumi and Eren, from behind Todo and out of Todo’s sight, signal to Yuuji with their hands to nod and play along to Todo’s game, as they always do. But Yuuji, ever oblivious, ignores their gestures.

“No, man,” Yuuji replies, to Todo’s surprise and the other knights’ horror. “If it were you, you’d know it. I think you’re just going about this all wrong. It takes more than just a proposal to woo a lady.”

“What do you know about wooing a lady?” Megumi asks.

“Well—nothing, actually, since I’ve never tried. But if I were to try it would be with flowers and praise, prostrating myself before her like worshiping a goddess. You have to wonder if you are even worthy of her glance before thinking about asking for her hand in marriage!”

“What nonsense are you on abou—”

“Wow,” Todo gapes. “This farmer has to be an expert on women.” He grabs Yuuji’s hand, albeit way too tight, and gives it a shake so hard Yuuji's entire arm moves with it. “Tell me…”

Todo looks expectantly at Yuuji, waiting for him to fill in the gap. “Yuuji. Itadori Yuuji.”

“Itadori Yuuji, tell me. What is your ideal woman?”

Megumi, exasperated, slaps the heel of his palm against his face. Eren grumbles, “Not this again.”

Yuuji’s eyes light up as if he had pondered the answer to this question his entire life. His voice takes on a mystical quality as he answers, staring up at the ceiling wistfully. “A woman with eyes as blue as a cloudless sky and hair shining gold like the summer sun. Fair, smooth skin, like an angel had dropped down from the heavens. Oh, and best of all—a huge ass.”

“Gods, he’s helpless,” Megumi mutters.

“Amazing,” Todo utters, in pure unadulterated joy. “What a man of taste you are, Itadori Yuuji.”

“What do you lot know about women anyway?” A voice breaks through the small gathering forming in the kitchen, the source somewhere across the expansive room. When the men turn towards the sound, they see another knight of the same rank as Todo, Kinji Hakari, walking into the room with amusement prominent across his features. “If I had to wager, you’re all a bunch of virgins.”

“Not everyone wants to lose their virtue to a common whore in the Dryads, Ser Hakari,” Megumi replies instantly, a bite to his words. Though, with the flush on his cheeks, it seems as if his mind is somewhere else, or perhaps, with someone. “We’re busy enough as it is with training. Or at least, we should be.”

“Well in my case, I’m saving it for the day I meet a special lady. Women care about that, you know.” Yuuji says, his thumb pointed to the center of his chest, proud of his noble pursuit in saving himself for the day he meets the perfect woman.

“I wonder if Lady Takada cares about that too,” Todo murmurs, mostly to himself.

Eren ventures to stay quiet this once. Though he has never done so with a woman, he is most certainly not a man of virtue. But he knows saying that out loud will reward him with too many questions he doesn’t wish to answer.

“Listen to yourselves,” Hakari crosses his arms over his chest. “You’re talking like a bunch of pussies. Just down a pint in Tyrrosh, spend a couple of gold coins, and get it over with at the Dryads.” He wags a finger in Yuuji’s direction, “Women don’t care about virtue. Hell, the more experienced you are, the more you can please them. Doesn’t that sound more like pleasing a goddess, blondie?”

Both Todo and Yuuji marvel at Hakari’s words, as if he had just imparted the most harrowing of wisdom upon them.

“And what’s the Lord of Tyrrosh’s son doing spending his off days in town when he could marry any noble lady he could wish for?” Megumi asks him. It is true that Hakari, being of noble blood, could have spent his days being an Earl or a Lord, pissing away his money and surrounding himself with luxuries instead of joining the infantry. And Megumi, who perhaps spends more time than he should pondering how his life would have turned out if he were of noble blood, has always wondered why Hakari would squander it.

Hakari brings a hand to the back of his head, scratching it as he mutters, “What are you, my father?” A round of laughter is heard amongst the men in the room before Hakari adds, his tone a bit more serious, “I wanted to be more than just some Lord wandering around Tyrrosh with nothing but my wealth.” He turns towards Megumi, his dark eyes meeting Megumi’s greens. “Maybe you’re too young to remember, but when Princess Yuuri was captured and murdered—that was the first time Nymeria had ever been attacked like that in hundreds of years. I was a teenager then but I couldn’t sit back and watch. I’m sure it was the same for you, Todo.”

Todo nods. “Though I’m from a smaller house, it was the same for me. Drican stealing our beautiful princess from right under our noses—despicable. I joined the infantry right away.”

“Ah, so it wasn’t all about impressing the ladies, then,” Yuuji muses.

“Well,” Hakari shrugs, a smile dancing across his lips. “Having the ladies fawn over us is a bonus.”

As Hakari, Todo, and Yuuji continue their chat, Eren is surprised out of his stupor to hear Megumi’s voice directed at him.

“You don’t believe all those things they say about impressing women with experience, do you, Eren?” It’s rare that Megumi is the one to initiate conversation—so rare Eren wonders if it’s the first time, even.

“Hmm… Well, if it’s someone you love—”

“W-who said anything about love?” Megumi huffs, a warmth crawling up his neck. Certainly, he was not entertaining any thoughts about love—or any person in particular, for that matter. He was only… curious… if all ladies had such sensibilities. There was definitely not a specific person who came to the forefront of his mind. At least, not one whom he would admit to thinking about even by the threat of a dagger to the neck. He adds, seeing Eren’s scrutinizing look, “It was simply a thought.”

Eren quirks a brow but doesn’t comment on Megumi’s floundering. “Is that not why you would want to bed someone? Because you love them?”

“Well… I guess, but not always,” Megumi gestures towards the other men in the room, who are currently speaking of one of Hakari’s many conquests. Anything to get Eren’s eyes off of his face which grows more flushed by the second. “Like Ser Hakari said, often these men do it just for pleasure."

“Well, in that case, perhaps they would prefer experience?” Eren shrugs. “I never really thought about doing anything like that. I’d only be interested in lying with someone I had feelings for.”

Megumi’s normally stoic look is replaced with one of genuine shock. “Really? Every soldier I’ve met always talks about women as if they were things to be conquered. I thought I was the strange one for not having an interest in their competitions.”

Eren shows Megumi an earnest smile. “I guess we’re alike in that way, then. It’s not something to be ashamed of. I think if there are feelings between you and the person you want to be with, it would be even more special if you were each other’s firsts. When you love someone, and they save that part of themselves for you, it’s—” Eren quickly realizes by the scrutinizing look in Megumi’s eyes that he may be getting carried away, and he stutters. “I-I just imagine it would be special to share that with the person you love.”

Megumi stays silent for a moment, absorbing Eren’s words. Then, “Eren… Do you—”

“Fushiguro! And the lizard-man!” Yuuji calls out from the doorway, waving an arm in the air to grab their attention. “There’s still some more food to bring to the kitchens. If you could lend a hand.”

“It’s dragon,” Eren grumbles, turning to the blond. Louder, he adds, “Just call me Eren!”

“Fine, Eren, if you would so kindly lend a hand,” Yuuji beckons him with a hand outside. Eren begins to move forward while Megumi finds himself staring at his back. For a moment he wonders just how would Eren know those types of feelings without having experienced them himself. And when he, too, resumes helping the farmer with the delivery, his mind wanders back to his princess, as it inevitably sometimes does. With a frown, he realizes that perhaps he may have a reason for understanding those feelings too.

***

It is one crisp autumn day, the greens of Nymeria’s lush landscape tinting shades of orange and brown as the fall settles in. Yuuta spends the afternoon with his advisors discussing matters of the realm. His dragon, as is typical of him when he is not training with the infantry, spends his time alone. Today, he opts to spend it in the solar. The room is large and open, with beautiful views of the scenery surrounding the palace—reds, oranges, and yellows of autumn. Warm sunlight pours in through the windows. Though this room is typically one of those spaces saved for the nobility of the palace, Yuuta has given his explicit permission for Eren’s presence. It is here that they often spend some time alone, and it is here that Eren feels most comforted in Yuuta’s absence.

Eren sits at a wooden table, seeds and berries spread before him on its surface. He smiles to himself as his companion for the afternoon—the small Valyrian bird that Yuuta had so affectionately named Vhagar—chirps away, picking at the seeds and taking apart the sweet berries with the tip of his black pointed beak.

“I stole them from the kitchen,” he snickers, pinching a berry between his fingers. “I know they aren’t as sweet as our kasta berries but I hope you like them, Vha—”

“Who are you talking to?”

Eren jolts in his seat, surprised to hear a soft feminine voice breaking through the quietude of the solar. When he looks in the voice’s direction, his eyes grow wide in surprise as he realizes he’s face-to-face with the princess. He stands from his seat immediately, as if he were a child caught doing something naughty.

“Good afternoon, princess,” Eren says in greeting. His eyes quickly dip down to the table where Vhagar sits munching away at the seeds. Eren picks up the bird and hides it between his large palms. “I-I was just talking to myself.”

Rika giggles at his antics. She walks closer to his table, her soft lilac dress swaying with each step. She looks regal, as always, with her long brown hair styled perfectly, and her dress ornamented with pins and beautifully stitched designs. A thin golden circlet rests on her crown just behind her bangs—a piece of jewelry to signify her status, as is custom.

“You don’t have to hide the little guy,” she says. “I’ve caught my brother talking to him too. You two spent a little too long on that island, didn’t you? Talking to birds as if they are people.”

Eren lets the bird back down to the table with a nervous laugh. “Perhaps.” As Rika comes up to stand beside him, he notices that she holds a book in her arms. “Are you here to read, Your Highness? I’m sorry if I am disturbing you.”

Rika’s smile is as charming as ever as she gestures for Eren to sit back down. Little does he know the way her heart leaps in her chest as she gets excited over the chance to finally speak to the dragon alone. She would not admit it aloud, but something about him has piqued her interest from the moment she met him. A mixture of his handsome looks and his strange mannerisms, perhaps. Or, maybe it is the fact that he is someone new to the kingdom, that she wishes to understand him, to be able to read him as easily as she can read about and understand the men in her romance novels. He’s different from all the men she’s met before—and different is interesting.

“Nonsense, Eren. Don’t worry about me. We can sit together, actually. I don’t mind.”

Eren nods, sitting back down in his seat. “Thank you, princess.”

They both sit beside each other, Rika settling comfortably into the chair as she opens the book over her lap. Eren, curious, opens his mouth to speak. “What kind of books do you read, princess?”

When she turns toward Eren, his big green eyes are so earnest and soft as he stares at her. She finds his questioning gaze really cute. Noblemen always look at her as if she were less than them, judgment and secrecy amongst other feelings radiating from them, but Eren naturally has such honest emotions in his stare. His mannerisms are incredibly endearing, even more so up close.

“U-um…” She stutters, lost in the childlike wonder held in his gaze. “I like to read a lot of romance stories… I hope that doesn’t sound too strange.”

“I wouldn’t have pinned you for a romantic, Your Highness.”

Rika quirks a brow. “And why’s that?”

“Your brother always speaks about relationships within the kingdom as if they are simply duty. It doesn’t sound like your people are very romantic.”

She giggles at his words. If any other man had spoken such a thing, it’d come across as an insult. But from Eren, it’s simply an observation.

“Well, it is true that for people like me and my brother, we don’t have the luxury of falling in love with a person of our choosing,” Rika says it so matter-of-fact, but to Eren, hearing this fact repeated again and again always feels like a knife to the chest. “But I like to dream sometimes that one day things could be different. Reading novels feels like getting to play pretend for a little while. I think falling in love is beautiful. Even if you can’t be together, that feeling of loving another person, it’s what everyone hopes for, right? I mean… Perhaps it is just me…” She trails off, worried that she has been rambling to a man who wouldn’t care for such feeble emotions. But Eren only nods in agreement, his features expressing both understanding and sympathy.

“Does it always have to be that way? Duty over love?” Eren asks.

“I’m not sure if Yuuta has learned of this yet, but the young king of Seomor—Hajime—he recently took a commoner as his wife.” At this, Eren’s face melds into earnest surprise. Rika nods, “It wasn’t without opposition, of course. None of the nobles were happy about it. There were many noblewomen who could have married him. But he had fallen for one of the maids in the palace, and refused to take any other woman as his wife.”

“That sounds very courageous of him,” Eren replies.

“It was. He had to defy his council and reject many women’s hands to marry her. I attended their wedding last spring before I returned to Nymeria. They looked so happy as they spoke their vows. I’d never seen Hajime smile as much in all my years in Seomor than how much he did that day.” Rika smiles as she remembers the royal wedding of Hajime and his maid-turned-queen. “I wish that one day I could have that for myself… Commoner or not, I want to feel that kind of joy and love with someone.”

Eren’s eyes are trained on his fingers on the table, the fingertips brushing over one another to soothe the feelings that well up in his chest. He can’t help but remember just how happy he had been the day he had traded vows with Yuuta. Though he’s itching to say it aloud, he doesn’t. Instead, he simply says, “Yes. I wish that for you, princess. And for your brother.”

“I wish it for Yuuta too… But soon he will be crowned. I’m not sure if it can be helped, Eren. Since I won’t be the crowned heir anymore, I hope that maybe Yuuta will let me delay it for a while longer. He’s promised me he won’t force me to wed… Yuuta’s such a kind brother,” Rika smiles fondly. “I have hopes… Yuuta does not have much of a say in his betrothal but… there’s hope for me, I think.”

“What if your brother wanted to be like Hajime? To marry someone he shouldn’t?”

“Has he said anything like that to you?”

Eren averts his gaze from Rika’s as he lies. “No… I just… wonder…” His words fade as he looks at the table pensively.

“Hajime had to be strong-willed to do what he did. My brother, he has always been weak-hearted,” Rika replies.

Eren frowns—he doesn’t think that Rika’s words are true at all. Eren feels as if he is the one who is weaker of the heart than Yuuta, knowing how easily he succumbs to his emotions.

She continues, “I would be surprised to hear of him defying our traditions like that, Eren.”

“I see…”

Rika reaches out toward Vhagar, smoothing one of her fingers over the soft feathers on the bird’s head. The bird chirps in delight at her touch.

“You sound so saddened by my brother’s situation. Does it bother you?”

Eren scratches his cheek with one of his fingers, looking away to avoid her gaze once more. If there’s anything about the princess, it seems as if she always knows exactly what to say to make people nervous in her presence. At least, that is what Eren thinks, seeing how Megumi acts around her, and how he feels around her right now.

“He carries such a burden being the prince,” Eren replies. His long hair thankfully covers the heat that pools at the tips of his ears. He remembers how his mother used to often tell him that his ears would turn red when he’d lie. “I just wish for him to be happy…”

“You don’t have to be so sad for him, Eren. Yuuta is a kind man. There is no way that he wouldn’t feel love for his queen. Perhaps not at first… but he would. And any woman would love to have him as a husband. No matter who will be the Nymerian queen one day, they will cherish each other. I’m sure of it.”

Unbeknownst to her, her words only drive the knife deeper into his chest. “Right, of course. I’m sure they will.”

After a bout of silence, Rika says, “I don’t think I’ve told you before but… I’m glad my brother had your company all those years.” Eren straightens up, looking toward Rika with a curious stare. “These past six years I wondered if he was safe… or if he was even alive. I prayed for him every day.” Eren sees how her eyes waver, glistening with unshed tears at the memory. “I’m glad he’s alive but I am especially happy that he had someone like you there to care for him. Thank you for bringing him home, and for being his friend, too.”

All this time, the thought of returning to Nymeria from Valyria always made Eren full of regrets—there was nothing for him to gain from leaving the sanctuary of his island. If anything, all leaving had done was drive a wedge between him and his beloved. But seeing Rika’s emotions on display like this… Eren can see why Yuuta couldn’t stay with him in Valyria. Yuuta didn’t leave just because he felt he had to, but because there are so many people here who cared for him, and he couldn’t go on living on the island knowing that all these people worried for him. Rika would have lived her entire life thinking Yuuta was dead had they never left. The wound on her heart would have never healed, and the thought of being that selfish causes a pang of pain in Eren’s chest.

He reaches over and takes her hand into his palms. Rika, surprised, looks up at him with the softest of blushes tinting her skin. Eren is so warm, her palm feels as if it were being held over a fire.

“I’m glad I was able to bring Yuuta back to you, princess,” Eren softly smiles. “He worried about you every day, too. I caught him praying often for your safety just as you prayed for him.”

She clears her throat, swallowing the feeling of worms crawling beneath her skin. She’d met many noblemen over the years, but never had a man caused her to feel so nervous. She looks down at his large hands, savoring their warmth.

“Thankfully, I spent the last six years in Seomor away from our father. There was fear that he would hurt us like he hurt my mother… but I was safe in Seomor.”

“Your mother… She was from Seomor, right?” Eren asks, remembering this fact when Rika speaks it aloud.

Rika’s other hand is wrapped around the spine of her book. She sets her novel down on the table. Eren releases her hand and she places both her hands over her lap as he watches her with interest. She idly smoothes down her dress—anything to keep her hands distracted from wanting to feel his warmth again.

“Yes. My mother was a highborn lady from the kingdom of Seomor. It’s the westernmost kingdom in the realm, full of lush greenery and surrounded by beautiful beaches made of golden sand. My mother’s noble house is small—it’s a wonder my father chose to marry into it at all. But I like to think he simply married her because he loved her. My mother was quite beautiful and so kind to us. My brother, even though he looks so much like my father, he is a lot like my mother.”

“Your brother used to say the opposite of you,” Eren recalls with a faint smile. “When he’d speak about you, he’d always say that you looked like your mother but you were way too bold like your father.”

Rika laughs. On instinct, she covers her lips with her hand—it’s more ladylike, she had been taught.

Eren, because he had never spent time in the company of noblewomen, questions the gesture. “Why do you do that, princess?”

Rika blinks, confused. “Do what?”

“Cover your face when you laugh.” He leans in closer, and Rika’s breath hitches in her throat. “You shouldn’t hide it. Then no one can see your smile. It’s pretty.”

Rika’s stomach flips at the words, spoken with such sincerity. She immediately opts to deflect the conversation, to soothe her nerves and warming cheeks.

“H-has my brother taught you much about the other kingdoms at all? I-I can tell you a bit about each of them.”

Eren ponders the question, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well, sometimes he would talk about them when we were in Valyria, but it was hard for me to picture them. The island was all I knew. I didn’t understand something as vast as a kingdom when all I knew were villages and forests.”

“Well, Nymeria is the kingdom farthest to the east. Then to the northwest is what was once Drican. It is part of our kingdom now after we won the war. To the southwest is Parryn, a kingdom ruled by the Yoshino clan. To the west of Parryn is Xentis, and to the west of Drican is Avahan. Avahan is ruled by the Kamo family. Xentis and its neighbor to the west, Themiscyra, are both ruled by the Zenin clan—each kingdom is ruled by one branch of the family. And to the south of Themiscyra is where my mother is from, Seomor. Their current king is the one who I mentioned before: Hajime Kashimo.”

Rika begins to fiddle with her braid as she speaks, her words tumbling out one after another in her nervousness as she rambled. Staring at the man beside her makes her stomach feel like it may cave in on itself, as if her chest is filled with nothing but warm air and butterflies. Mentally, she chastises herself at the word vomit that left her mouth. Swooning over a man feels very out of the ordinary for her, but perhaps it can’t be helped; the dragon is so different from other men she’s met before. His words never have any hidden meaning, nor does he have any motives to lie or use her. Everything he says—his feelings, his compliments—it’s all genuine from his heart.

Eren ruminates in silence for a moment before letting out a weak laugh. “Forgive me, princess, but it’ll be hard for me to remember all those names.”

“I know,” she giggles, relieved that Eren doesn’t seem to notice how he’s affecting her. “It takes time to learn them all. I’ve been studying my whole life to remember such things about the realm. Especially if I’ll have to wed a prince someday…”

Eren notices the way Rika’s smile falters toward the end of her words. He asks, “Have you met the princes from the other kingdoms yet?”

“I’ve met a lot of noblemen in Seomor but with my father’s reputation… I have yet to meet a man who offered to marry me. Well, except one. The prince of Parryn, Junpei Yoshino.”

“Did you not wish to marry him?” Eren asks Rika, surprised.

“I had met Junpei before but never with the intention to marry. Not until… Well, actually, it was just before the day that you and my brother returned. I’d always been curious about him, but once I spent more than a few minutes with him, I didn’t like him at all.” She scrunches up her nose at the memory, earning a chuckle from the dragon. “Lord Nanami had suggested the match in talks with Junpei’s father. They wanted to unite our kingdoms, since Parryn has always had a close relationship with Nymeria but… Junpei was quite… unapproachable, to put it lightly. If you and my brother hadn’t returned… I probably would’ve been preparing for a marriage ceremony as we speak.”

Rika seems so relieved once she says the last line, and Eren can’t help but smile. Eren had never had a younger sibling, and speaking with Rika now feels comforting, as if Yuuta’s younger sister were his own. Rika sees this smile, one that he displays just for her, and it makes her feel warm. Happy.

“I’m glad Yuuta’s return has made things better for you, princess. I hope that it will be as you say—that you’ll be able to marry whenever and whomever you wish.”

Silently, though every fiber of his being wishes to say it aloud, he hopes that it will be possible for Yuuta, too.

Rika is confused by the emotions she sees in his eyes. She doesn’t understand why he looks at her with both sadness yet longing. Is he wishing for that so wholeheartedly for her sake too?

She agrees with a nod, encouraged by his words. “I do hope so too, Eren.”

***

The sounds of the Lord Commander’s boots clacking against the marble floors echo loudly off the walls with each step he takes down the familiar halls towards the emperor’s residence in the palace. The royal wing is nothing near strange territory for him—perhaps so familiar that he can paint each brick, each wooden panel, each piece of marble and tile from memory onto canvas if he ever so chose. Many moons ago, before all Nymeria’s infantry came to be under his command, these simple halls were the only kingdom he knew. Whether it was (reluctantly) gallivanting with the young prince in his youth, later trailing behind the emperor as his Sworn Protector, or even these days, with his regular visits to the emperor’s chambers as his Lord Commander, the steady, regular sound of leather soles against polished marble always sounds the same.

Most days the halls just before the king’s chambers are strictly traversed by servants and healers. Due to their fear of the Mad King and exaggerated, frightful rumors of his curse, the servants stay away from this area of the palace, scurrying like skittish mice being chased away by a predator whenever they are called upon to tend to the King. The sounds of Toji’s steps approaching the royal chambers rattle louder and louder in his ears as he approaches the heavy wooden door through the empty halls and passages, interrupting the stillness. The guards at the door, elite kingsguards under Toji’s command, nod and step aside for their commander, allowing Toji into the room.

“Good day, Lord Commander.” Toji is greeted by one of the healers with a curt, respectful nod as soon as he steps into the entryway, his heavy leather boots scraping against the wooden floorboards.

“Maester,” Toji nods in return, a man of few words as always. His eyes quickly dart to the grand bed in the center of the room, his arms moving to remove the sword in its hilt at his side. He leaves it and its scabbard in a receptacle in the entryway as it is custom to shed his weapon when in the chambers of the king, hastily making his way across the room as the healer begins to scramble and clean up his potions and tools that were laid out at the side table.

At the king’s bedside is an armchair upholstered in dark velvety fabric trimmed with braided gold thread at its edges. The chair matches the long, opulently gold-trimmed curtains hung before each window as well as around the king’s bedposts, though now they are pulled back at the midsections with a golden rope, fringed at the end with long golden tassels.

As Nymeria’s autumn season is beginning to show its head, the servants have lit the fireplace across from the king’s bed to keep the room warm, knowing that even with the bedsheets as thick as they are, the now frail king often suffers from chills. To the Lord Commander, the man as bulky and large-framed as he is, the room is just teetering on the edge of hot, with the scent of ginger and lycium—healing herbs—heavy in the air and deftly plugging his nose. He takes a seat in the armchair at Yuuki’s bedside regardless, prepared to weather the stifling atmosphere in order to spend this time with his closest friend.

When Toji settles into the seat and the healer scurries away, Toji finally allows his pale green eyes to take in the sight of his king: Yuuki’s laying down in bed, head propped up by feathered pillows, and his body covered with dark heavy bedsheets up to his collarbones. He’s asleep, eyes closed with dark hair framing his face, his pale lips just slightly agape. Yet, the man doesn’t snore—not anymore, not the same way that Toji used to tease him for in his youth whenever he’d catch the prince dozing away, avoiding his lessons. The Yuuki he knew back then… That cocky smile, his rosy complexion, his eagerness for sparring, jousting, and all things debauchery—that Yuuki is simply a memory, the man before him a ghost of the once so-called Gallant Prince.

Although during the war and in the years after, Yuuki became someone whom the realm grew to fear, whom even his own subjects began to whisper rumors of madness and evil, it wasn’t always that way. Toji has known since the day he came to live in the Nymerian palace the extent of Yuuki’s kindness. Perhaps that is why, even now, Toji doesn’t feel any fear in his heart, not like the others do. He looks over at his king with a gaze heavy enough to drown in, the room in which they are both in now bringing back memories that the Lord Commander often wishes he could forget.

It was once in this very room, almost seven years ago now, that Toji saw for the first time the true extent of the spell—no, curse—that the witch had placed upon Yuuki. His descent into madness was sharp and swift; it had been no less than half a dozen months since the murder of Princess Yuuri that the Queen had followed her sister-in-law to the afterlife. Unlike Yuuri’s death, perpetrated by a foreign land bent on starting a war, Queen Haruka’s had been at the very hands of her loving husband, the king who sleeps just an arm’s reach from Toji now. Perhaps that night had been the only time that Toji had ever been afraid—not for himself, but for his king.

Yuuta, much too young to do anything but run away, had fearfully witnessed with his own two eyes the death of his mother at his father’s hands. And Toji, moments later, had seen the same fear in Yuuki’s eyes: the king’s own fear that one day he would do the same to his children. That night, as Haruka’s limp body still warmed the sheets of their bed, Yuuki’s mind, warped and damaged by the witch’s spell, knew that he was a danger to those around him. Nothing had made it more clear in his mind than the sight of his son and daughter cowering in their bedroom, hiding from him.

His first thought after his mind had cleared of the power-hungry state that it had been in, was ending his life before it could become any worse. He feared for those around him whom he cherished so dearly: his son, daughter, friends, and closest advisors. Hell, his entire kingdom. Who knows the depths of warfare and bloodshed that he would subject his kingdom to if he were willing to go as far as killing his beloved wife? He feared the monster that he had become in his quest to defeat Drican, and at that moment, had considered that the kingdom would be better off if his life were to end now before the spell could continue to rot away at his mind.

Yet, that night, before he could leave his kingdom behind to his Lord Hand and his children who were much too young to rule, Toji was there for him. Toji, his closest friend and most loyal knight, was there to convince Yuuki that they would find a cure for him. That he, even with the evil he had just committed, was worth fighting for. Though it was Toji who had always felt as if Yuuki had saved him, at that moment, it was Toji who had saved Yuuki. In the days after Yuuta and Rika were sent away, when word of Yuuta’s disappearance had reached the palace, it was Toji, along with the aid of their master of ships Lord Higuruma, who served as a rock for the king, grounding him and assuring him of Yuuta’s safe return, ensuring that Yuuki’s fragile mental state was quelled and the palace did not delve into chaos as they mounted searches by land and by sea. Amid the restoration of peace, and the loss of the kingdom’s first-born prince, Toji was there to support his king as his Lord Commander, but most importantly, as his closest friend.

Toji knows as well as Yuuki that the only reason Yuuki is still alive now, despite the toll that forbidden power took on his body, and despite the many thoughts (and attempts) that Yuuki had of taking his own life, is because of the affection Yuuki still holds for him, his family, and his kingdom. Even with his memory existing in fragments, and his body being so weak he can barely move from his bed, it is always so clear in his words and his actions that those he loves most exist at the forefront of his mind. Could a man deemed so evil by others really be the same man who still holds so much affection for them in his heart?

“Toji…”

Toji’s head snaps up at the sound of his name, his eyes previously fixated contemplatively on the bedsheets just in front of him. His eyes meet Yuuki's, an ocean of deep blue waters, just as he had always remembered them to be. There was a time when they were so dark and tumultuous, like the crashing waves of a stormy sea but that was years ago, a time when Yuuki wasn’t himself.

“My king,” Toji bows his head. Yuuki sends him a look that Toji knows all too well. Toji adds, in a softer voice, “Yuuki.”

Yuuki begins to shuffle in bed, moving to sit up from his laying down position. Toji instantly gets off the armchair, one of his arms looping around Yuuki’s back, gently lifting him. Yuuki can’t help but let out what sounds like a chuckle, defeated, letting his friend assist him with something as simple as moving around in his own bed. There have been many times in the past where Yuuki has voiced his distaste for this situation he is in—‘it’s as if I’ve become a man more than twice my age’ he’d once said. Yet today he chooses not to comment on it.

Instead, he starts by asking Toji about himself. With a palm laid over one of Toji’s arms, his touch so cold Toji stutters upon contact, he asks, “Toji… Are you well?”

“I should be the one to ask you.” Toji takes the king’s hand, so thin and frail now, into his own palms. “I’m fine, Your Highness. It is you we worry for. Are the healers helping you feel any better?”

Yuuki’s thin, pale lips curl upwards but his expression couldn’t be further from a smile. “You know I am afflicted with… something which cannot be healed, Toji.”

A stretch of silence passes, the king’s deep breaths causing his chest to rise and fall. Toji knows better than anyone that there is no way to break Yuuki’s curse—if there were, he would have found it long ago when the witch Nobara was still within his grasp. Perhaps it is a sense of hope—or an illusion of it, more likely—that has Toji wondering if anything the healers can do would improve the king’s condition. These past years of visiting the royal chambers have never borne any fruit in that regard. But perhaps Toji’s asking is part of the formality of it all, now—less out of hopeful thinking and more out of decorum.

“Well… You look well,” Toji lies, in hopes of lifting the king’s spirits. He studies Yuuki’s face as he speaks. Except for the pallor of his skin, and the length of his hair, the thinness of his body—he’s still very much the Yuuki he’s always known. “Your hair’s gotten a bit longer—are your servants not tending to it? Or are you trying to look more like your son? It doesn’t suit you.”

At that, Yuuki genuinely laughs. “Hmm… Perhaps the latter. The Grand Maester told me… that seeing Yuuta for the first time felt as if he were seeing an apparition… that of my younger self.”

Toji, remembering when he had seen Yuuta climb off the back of a dragon, knows exactly how that felt. “He was right. Your son has always looked like you, even as a child. But perhaps even more so now that he’s a man in his own right.”

“How is he? My son?” Yuuki asks, shuffling in bed to sit higher up against his headboard. Toji sits straighter, lifting a heavy boot to cross one ankle over the other. “He does not frequent my chambers… as much as I’d like him to.”

“You would have never guessed he was living on an island but a month ago. He’s smart, tactful even.” Yuuki grins then, relieved. “He’s already caught up on much of the politics and relationships with the other kingdoms in the realm, and he’s already acting on your behalf during meetings with your council. The prince is quite…” he pauses as he searches for the words. “Calm and level-headed, I’d say. Not like a certain little pig-headed prince I once knew.”

Yuuki chuckles—a laugh so thin you’d miss it if you weren’t familiar with his weakened gestures.

“Of course… He is Haruka’s son, after all,” Yuuki murmurs, to which Toji shakes his head.

“You forget what a brilliant king you once were, Yuuki.” Yuuki blinks back at Toji’s words, listening intently. “I remember the day you told your queen just how much you cared for your family and your kingdom—and that you’d do anything for their prosperity. I think your son is just the same. He cares for our kingdom, much like you do.”

Yuuki’s gaze travels to his hands in his lap, his hands that in his mind are so disgustingly tainted with blood and all the evil things he’d done. But they were all done in the name of his kingdom. “I’m glad that… there is at least one man who still… thinks so highly of me…”

“Try not to let that big head of yours grow any bigger now.”

Yuuki turns toward Toji and sees fondness in his gaze. Toji’s always looked at him the same, no matter what they’d been through over the years, and the thought warms his heart immensely. Even if Toji never puts words to it, even if his words are laced with thin insults and sarcastic jabs, the look in his eyes has always been enough to reveal the truth.

“I often hope that… one day my son will have someone as devoted as you are, Toji…”

At his words, Toji crosses his arms over his chest, turning his face to hide the flames of embarrassment that begin to creep up his face. “I’m just speaking truthfully, Your Highness.”

Yuuki laughs entirely too hard at Toji’s flustering, enough that he has to pause to cough and clear his throat. Concern quickly takes over Toji’s features, but Yuuki simply holds up a shaky palm to quell the question poised on Toji’s tongue.

“You were never one… to be honest about your feelings… were you?”

Toji avoids the question. If it’s out of embarrassment, or out of fear of putting words to the feelings they’ve never discussed aloud, he wouldn’t dwell on it. “I do think your son has someone who will dedicate himself beyond just a knight’s oath. The dragon who brought him here, he’s been placed as my esquire. I’ve heard it for myself—that he says he is willing to die for the prince. He seems like he means it honestly.”

“Ah…” Yuuki smiles. Those words are not too far off from Toji’s vow, so many decades ago now. “Has he… taken the oath?”

“Not yet, but I think by the time of the ceremony, he’ll be ready.”

The ceremony, which looms over everyone’s mind these days, is a reference to Yuuta’s coronation ceremony as the crowned prince and Yuuki’s heir, which is set to occur in a few weeks’ time. It is at his ceremony, just like his father’s, that his set of kingsguards will be appointed. Any soldiers set to be promoted to knights will do so by being knighted by their newly crowned prince, as is custom. And though Eren has only been part of their infantry for a mere couple of weeks, his strength combined with his experience and his ‘special circumstances’, as previously discussed by the council, have left little room for doubt that he will be selected for the kingsguard. At least, that was the intention when the council had granted Eren permission to join the infantry at the last meeting.

“I wish I could be there… to see the ceremony…”

At this, Toji’s eyes widen in surprise. “What? Do you mean you won’t be in attendance?”

Yuuki gestures towards his lap, as if the answer was so obviously written across his body. “In this condition..?”

“But your subjects, the crowned princes and nobles of the realm—they’ll all be in attendance. You have to—”

“I won’t.” Yuuki’s words are stern, even with the weak timbre of his voice. Final. “What will they say… about the Mad King’s first public appearance since… since…” His words trail off, and Toji knows exactly what it is that Yuuki wishes to say. Since I killed my wife. “I don’t want… my son’s crown to be… tainted by my hands… I wish for him to be crowned… without me.”

“Yuuki…” Toji looks for any doubt in Yuuki’s eyes but finds none. This has to be something Yuuki has thought about for quite some time, as it is tradition for the current emperor to crown his heir. To forego this tradition… the guilt that Yuuki feels seems insurmountable. And Toji knows that Yuuki’s sins are not something that his words alone could erase, much less ease. He needs to earn forgiveness, not from him, but from his children whom he feels so strongly that he wronged.

“Wouldn’t it be better for him to understand you?” Toji tries to reason. “He was a kid back then. He doesn’t know why you took that spell. He’s naive still—he hasn’t learned anything of war. All of this… It was all because of this war. Because of that curse.” The last two words are spat out from behind gritted teeth.

“No, Toji… It was I who was too foolish… who ignored her warnings… who coveted power above all… It’s my fault… entirely my fault that this happened… that my children… hate me. I deserve it… for what I’ve done.”

“I think if he understood you, he would forgive you.”

He hears Toji's words, yet, all Yuuki remembers is his first meeting with his son, how Yuuta had said that he didn’t know if he ever could forgive, much less forget what Yuuki had done.

“I don’t expect his forgiveness… I just wish to absolve him of what I'd done… It is my wish, Toji… for Yuuta to become king… of his own right. Not in my shadow… it is what’s best for the kingdom… for him.”

A bout of silence passes, before Toji chuckles, breaking Yuuki from his wallowing reverie.

“What is it?” Yuuki asks.

“Good luck telling lazy bastard Nanami that he’ll have to be the one to crown your son.”

Yuuki join Toji in his mirth, laughing at the thought. Nanami, not one to perform unnecessary duties, would loathe having to be at the forefront of such a ceremony. Speaking of Nanami, Yuuki recalls a recent conversation he had had with the Lord Hand. Well, recent in his mind, which is clouded with misplaced memories. He says, “The Gods know that… Lord Nanami already has his hands full with my daughter… rejecting the hand from Crowned Prince Yoshino…”

Toji leans back against the chair, a sigh leaving his lips. Just the mention of the princess eases whatever thick air of tension had previously settled in the room when speaking of the coronation. Toji’s grateful for the change of subject. “Yes… I think perhaps the years away have made her forget her role in our kingdom. That, or the princess is simply as stubborn as a mule.”

“Is that so?” Yuuki shouldn’t be amused at the insult his daughter had unintentionally made at their neighbor and long-time trade partner, but he is. He, as the king, could force his hand; he could be enraged with his daughter for declining such an advantageous union. Instead, his eyes still sparkle with warmth. “Well… courting a woman is more interesting when… there is a challenge involved… I’ve always thought that… stubbornness can be charming.”

“I wonder where she got such a trait from,” Toji muses, his eyes wandering until they land upon Yuuki’s. It is not lost on him the way Yuuki’s lingering affection for his wife can still be heard in his voice, how it glimmers in his eyes.

Yuuki can’t help but smile faintly when their eyes meet. “Maybe she gets it from her mother.”

Toji chuckles softly. The sarcasm drips off his tongue when he replies, “Maybe.”

Yuuki suddenly becomes solemn again, his voice hushed as he asks, “Toji?”

“Yes?”

“You… and your son Megumi… protect her… She was lucky that Parryn had been… so gracious and forgiving. Another kingdom… they may not take such an insult lightly. She might have been too young to remember… just how dangerous these politics can be.”

Toji’s eyes widen at the King’s words. He knows, having experienced what tragedy had fallen upon the kingdom, why Yuuki says this to him. The last thing anyone in this kingdom would ever want is for Rika’s fate to be that of the late Princess Okkotsu.

“Of course, we will. The prince and the princess are both under my protection. So long as I am Lord Commander nothing will happen to them. I promise you.”

Toji’s words help quell the uneasy feeling in Yuuki’s chest—brewing, yet unexplainable. He smiles at his longtime friend as he lays back down against his bedding, weary from such long conversation. It’s a miracle Yuuki was as talkative as he just was, Toji thinks, resigning himself to the plush cushions of his chair. Yuuki’s eyelids grow heavy. His last words before he succumbs to exhaustion come out as a murmur:

“Thank you, Toji.”

***

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