#but with tiny monsters that have sharp teeth instead of. Yknow. Role playing gone wrong.

[beardedhandstoadshark]

Anyways, anyone want a live reaction summary of that movie? Well here it is anyways

(Cw for mentions of all the stuff typical for a jumpscare horror movie)

They‘re unironically trying to sell the house of the first movie as a spooky lost place far off a spooky village filled with distrustful and unsettling people it. Such scary individuals like. A middle-aged lady looking at them though a window. Or five guys sitting on stairs. And emo teens. Spooky

The random old crazy guy who tells them it’s DaNgeRous here while laughing totally maniacally before going GET OFF MY LAWN because of course

DEER

Also, our characters: MC Arthur fanboy whose 18th birthday it is, MC‘s love interest who thinks MC should grow up, Logan Paul Hair and his bro Goatee guy, Token dark skinned funny guy, Glasses guy afraid of frogs who‘s kinda got the same outfit and speaking style to yours truly fr that’s just me, Glasses girl with camera, pretty blonde girl. Prediction: all of them except MC, Love interest and one of the bros die

Ok they arrived at the house, whimsical music plays as they look amazed at the trees blooming pink when it’s not even spring…only for the music to cut out when they see they’re made of plastic. Ngl that was kinda funny

Spooky black feather stuck in a secret small door leading to a basement that wasn’t part of the movie oOoOOoh

Now it’s dark, they’re making a bonfire outside, and there’s spooky Hippopotamus noises (that’s what they called them in the movie)

NOT THE MC GETTING NIGHTMARES ABOUT DEER AND FLASHBACK SCENES FROM THE FIRST MOVIE LMAO

There‘s hidden figures in the woods with lanterns and this dude calls the names of some dudes they saw a lost place video of that house of. And when they suddenly all vanish he just goes back to bed

The bros are going to a river and glasses guy got lost in the woods while ominous music plays, Oh they’re absolutely not coming back F to them

Spooky random hole that’s seemingly endless but makes spooky sounds, check

There‘s suddenly spooky fog out of nowhere surrounding glasses guy. He touched a weird tree that had moss all over except for a part that looks like the outline of someone hugging the tree, and got punched in the face. Meanwhile the bros chill until blood drops on the one guy, aaaaand the filter switched to grey! 50min of nothing and then it escalates completely. This movie is 1.5h long btw

Turns out they found one of the guys from the video hanging from a tree after not seeing he‘s there for like 20min, dude steps on a super obvious bear trap trying to get him, but ngl the actors are doing a good job at acting as far as I can tell with the dub.

Holy heck these characters are actually kinda competent - nvm they’re

Everyone forgot about glasses guy tho lol

Ooaoaoaooh glasses girl is looking at a photo of them and there’s a spooOoKy guy visible in the window

OH HECK FIRST KILL. Glasses girl got killed by BEES.

GLASSES GUY IS GONE GUY. He hugged a tree headless. Literally, he‘s hugging a tree and his head is gone. Also wow token and MC aren’t reacting at ALL oof

LMAOO THEY SHOWED THE SPOOKY GUY AND ITS UNIRONICALLY JUST A GUY IN A HOODIE

Apparently the whole house is just built on random holes connected to slopes and LI happened to sit above one on a swing. SG cut the rope and she fell down, almost made it out, but then a spooky hand grabbed her down. Where did the rest attached to that hand go? Who knows, it’s SpoOky

omg. You know how in guardians of the galaxy and such that one character thinks he’s invisible because he’s moving so slow? And it’s played as a joke? Yeah they just did that unironically with a guy standing in front of a door all this time I can’t-

Yknow these guys who originally helped Arthur become a minimoy? Yeah they evil

"You wanna go into the world of the minimoys? The time had come, it’s a fUul MoOn!“ shows half full moon"No it isn’t“ "doesn’t matter lol“ <- that’s real dialogue

Surprise attack by a bunch of dudes dressed like Bokoblins from Breath of the Wild attacking everyone with daggers, turning this whole thing into a breakout Battle Royale, F blonde Girl

CRAZY OLD GUY TO THE RESCUE!

Aaaand now it’s randomly over. No signal or reason or anything, it just is.

Survivors: MC, MC‘s LI, and the token guy! A surprise twist!

…the explanation for all of this. Is Role-Playing.

A bunch of teens meeting each year to role-play a new theme. The year before it was Batman. This year it was Arthur and the Minimoys. And they go kill everyone like this because of drugs. Doesn’t explain all the stuff that was going beforehand. Or the secret basement. Or holes. Or anything really

OoOOoh Spooky Hoodie Guy is still standing at the window

(Also what happened to the deer imagery? They set that up for half the movie but the moment the forbidden ketchup starts appearing they completely forget all of it. ALSO the trailer showed spooky versions of the Minimoys. Guess what never makes an appearance.)

Conclusion: would give this movie a solid 4.5/10 for two funny lines and the guys playing the bros doing a pretty good job at putting emotion in

#Arthur malediction #mention of death #cw death #cw blood #cw gore #well they’re all just mentioned but those don’t have tags #<- please Tell me if I should add more! #oof #not sure what i expected #actually expected just this #but with tiny monsters that have sharp teeth instead of. Yknow. Role playing gone wrong.