#but today I feel like garbage and want to drink cocoa and eat cookies all day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cozywritings · 4 years

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Coffee Cake

Moving to Canada, escaping your hometown, and opening your own bakery was a dream of yours since you were a teenager. Now, at 23 years old, you’re able to do exactly that. However, what’s to happen when you open up next to a coffee shop owned by the most handsome and sweetest person you’ve ever met?

-----

“Okay guys, thank you so much for putting up the flowers. I really appreciate it.” You smiled as the men left, taking their baked goods and waving goodbye. You’d finally closed on your little shop and were starting to decorate. Deciding to go with a floral look, you went with flowers that would cascade the building but also were low maintenance. As you looked over to the coffee shop next door you chucked, the difference in design was funny. Your little shop was white and colourful while this one was black and the interior was full of dark stained wood.

Walking into the door you hummed at the smell of coffee and spices, a tall man with dark curls smiled at you. “Oh hi, how may I help you on this lovely afternoon?” His voice was like velvet as you walked up to the counter.

You smiled at him, waving. “I just wanted to come say hi, I just bought the shop next door. It’s going to be my first real bakery and I just wanted to come meet my neighbors!” Your voice light and cheery as you bounced on your toes.

The curly haired man smiled and held his hand out. “Well I’m Raul. This is my little coffee shop, I hope you’re up for a little competition. James here is quite the pastry man.” He chuckled, pointing at a shorter man that looked like a frat boy.

You waved at each other and looked back to Raul, he was staring at you with a smile that could stop traffic. “Well I mainly do cakes and cupcakes, special orders, cookies and muffins.” At the mention of muffins, his eyes lit up.

“You do muffins?” Hes asked excitedly, you nodded, a proud smile on your face. They were your best seller back home.

“Everyone loves my double chocolate ones. And then of course the classic blueberry and banana nut. I’m working on some more recipes currently.” You told him, reminding yourself to finish up the pumpkin recipe soon for the fall.

Raul was now leaning against the counter, a serious look on his face. “When can I test the muffins?” His tone making you giggle before you pointed next door to your own shop.

“I have a couple right now. I’ve been using them to thank the guys helping me get all moved in. Some of them are accepting them as payment when they are really just a thank you.” You smiled, thankful for all the help and how nice everyone was during your set up.

Raul tossed his hand towel on the counter, turning back to the crew behind him. “Guys, I’m going next door for a taste test. Be back later!” There was a collective “okay” and a few asking if they could come too and you giggled at their eagerness.

Walking into the shop, he looked around at your little lobby, glass cases and an order book on the counter. “It still needs some work but I’m hoping to be open by the end of next week. I’m doing a few private orders for now.” He smiled at you as you spoke, looking through the book of cakes and cupcakes you’ve done throughout the past few years.

Suddenly he shut the book and crossed his arms. “What about a little deal?” He asked, an eyebrow cocked as you walked back into the room, muffins in hand.

“What kind of deal?” You asked as you placed the baked goods on the counter, digging into a double chocolate muffin with a fork.

“How do you feel about coffee?” He asked, before taking a bite of his own muffin and letting out a satisfied hum. His eyes closed for a second and you realized how truly beautiful this man was.

“Well, I’m not a huge coffee person honestly I’m more of a tea and hot cocoa girl, but I love the smell of coffee. Why?” You laughed as he tried to swallow his mouthful of muffin, seeing as he shoved the whole thing in his mouth.

He blushed at his struggle. “Sorry, that was just so good. Anyways. I would honestly love one of your baked goods every morning and in return you could maybe be my taste tester for new drinks? I’m exploring new flavours and the guys aren’t really into it. They like what they like and that’s it.” You thought about it for a moment. You didn’t mind giving away treats, and you got free drinks out of the deal. Plus, having a gorgeous man hand deliver your breakfast to you every day didn’t sound too bad.

“Deal.” You smiled, sticking out your hand to close the deal. He grabbed your hand and you noticed how large he was. His hand engulfed yours as he shook it, you also noticed what looked like a whole sleeve peeking out of the sleeve of his shirt.

“Alright m’lady. What will it be today?” His sweet smile melting you. You already knew this man would be the death of you.

“Well, let’s see. It’s 5 in the evening, so let’s go with a nice iced tea. I don’t really have a preference but it has to be sweet. None of that ‘no sugar’ garbage.” He nodded, taking a mental note of your order.

“Okay, I’ll go whip something up and be right back.” He saluted you, closing the door gently behind him. As soon as Raul left, you let out a squeal. You swear you couldn’t have picked a better location. You were just down the street from your apartment, and you were right next door to a cafe run by the sweetest, most attractive guy you’d ever known, and your mind was full of him. You couldn’t help but think about how cute he looked, mouth full of muffin, trying to talk. He was obviously already comfortable with you. Or maybe that was his nature, but you couldn’t stay in your thoughts long. The bell above the door rang and in he walked, a glass of reddish tea in his massive hand.

“Here you go! I pegged you as a hibiscus tea girl, so I decided on that. There’s a little lemonade in it as well, since it’s so hot out today.” You blushed, taking the glass from him and looking at the cup. It was a thick glass jar. The shops name etched into the side.

You ran your fingers over the logo, the unique woman’s eyes with coffee steam framing her face intriguing you. “This is a fancy glass you’ve got here.” You spoke, looking at him over the rim on the glass.

“Oh, we got those done last Christmas for the employees and we’ve become pretty popular in the area so we started selling them. We also have a few shirts and around Christmas we sell hot cocoa bundles with mugs.” You smiled as you watched him talk about his business, taking sips of tea and humming.

“This is amazing by the way. And you were right about me being a hibiscus girl. So, how long have you had the cafe?” You asked, using any excuse to keep him in your presence as long as possible.

He ran his hands through those soft looking curls. “I opened it 5 years ago when I was 18. It sounds kind of stupid, but I always wanted my own cafe. My mom is British and always had tea in the house and during snow days I’d be in charge of hot cocoa and one day I just decided that I was going to have my own shop. I even designed to logo, with my brother’s help. What about you?”

You placed the now empty glass on the counter before explaining that you had always had a thing for baking and when it came time to go to college you went into to culinary. “This is my first real shop. I used to just take orders online and do local things back home in the states.” You blushed, looking at your shoes.

“You’re from the states?” You nodded. “What made you want to move up here?” You just shrugged, wiping some dust off the glass case.

“I wanted something different I guess. And where I lived it was always ungodly hot and I hated it. So I moved up here to escape the heat. And before you say anything, I know the winters are harsher, but I’m okay with that. My apartment has a fireplace and I live in fuzzy socks. Besides, being hot sometimes makes me uncomfortable and anxious.”

The two of you talked for a few more hours while Raul helped you clean up a little bit since the rest of the equipment and the decor would be in tomorrow. “Well, I should let you go. Thank you so much for your help, and the tea. It was amazing.” You smiled over at him, handing him a box of cupcakes for the guys at the cafe.

“I’ll see you tomorrow with a new drink. It was nice meeting you, and I’m glad we’re going to be work neighbors.” And that was all he said before waving goodbye and walking back to his own store to lock up and clean for tomorrow.

You stayed back a little longer, packing up the rest of the goodies before making your way home. You were now even more excited to come into the shop tomorrow to get set up. Raul had offered his help in the heavy lifting and how could you say no to those eyes, or those muscles. So you settled into bed, eagerly awaiting the morning.

-----

The next few days were full of hard work. Between setting everything up and baking for the people helping you, you were exhausted every night. You were so grateful for Raul, as he would periodically come over, that same glass filled with a different cold beverage. He even got the cup personalized with your name on it.

Tomorrow was opening day. You were extremely excited, and equally nervous, but you were confident in your little shop. You’d worked so hard for this and you’d refuse to let this go bad. “Hey there sugar!” Raul shouted, the nickname making you blush as you walked up to the counter and asked for a raspberry lemonade. “Tomorrow is the big day. Are you nervous?” You nodded, chewing on your bottom lip. “Don’t worry, the guys and I will be there to support you. We’ll even wear your shirts.” he said and you blushed.

A few days ago you’d ordered a few shirts as a joke for the guys at the cafe. Pastel pink and blue with your logo on the front. The back had the saying “Have your cake and eat it too.” The thought of 5 men standing in public in those shirts made you laugh. “Thank you for all the support Raul. It means a lot to me.”

“Of course! I remember how nervous I was when I opened RM Coffee, and you’re doing this all by yourself? It’s impressive.” He placed a hand on your shoulder before handing you your cup. He was wearing a short sleeve today, and you could see almost all of his sleeve, it made you wonder what other tattoos he had.

You slid him a $5 bill and got up. “Okay guys, I’m gonna go get some rest before tomorrow. I’ll see you all in the morning!” You waved goodbye to the boys in the shop before walking home. You were half way down the street when you heard someone behind you, and whipped back around to find Raul.

He had his hand out, holding something. “You left your notebook!” He shouted, the book stretched out to you.

“Oh, thank you! That had all my new recipes in it. I’d die if I lost it.” You sighed, taking it from him. Your hands brushed and you didn’t miss the way way his breathing picked up at the contact.

“Also, I was uhh, I was wondering if after the grand opening tomorrow, you’d let me take you out to dinner? You know, after closing. Of course.” His cheeks were red as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Your face heated up, before nodding. “I’d really like that. Maybe you can show me the places to eat here.” He smiled, hands now shoved in his pockets.

“I’ll come by around 7 and we’ll go to dinner then. I-I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight and good luck.” You hugged him gently, he was warm and you didn’t want to let go of him.

“Goodnight Raul. Thank you for all your help.” And off you went, mind racing over tomorrow. Did the hot guy next door really just ask you out?

---

Curling your hair and adding the finishing touches to your makeup, you were ready for the day. You’d chosen a simple pink cotton dress and nude heels. Seeing as this was an important day, you decided to dress nicer than your jeans and a ‘Sugar Cakes’ shirt you would usually wear. Plus, you had a date tonight. You needed to look amazing, even if your date had already seen you sweating and in sweatpants.

As you made the short walk to the shop, you noticed a crowd of people around the bakery. They were all chattering and taking photos in front of the flowers cascading over the window, and a smile graced your features, being one for the perfect photo, you were glad people were taking advantage of the beautiful backdrop you’d created.

“Good morning Sugar.” Raul greeted, a chai tea in his hands with your name on it. “You ready for this? You’ve got quite a crowd, I’m impressed.” You nodded, taking the drink and looking at him, pastel pink shirt pulled tight across his chest.

“You look good in pink.” You giggled, before turning to look at the boys. Mike, Brian, Geoff, and Ian all wearing pink and blue shirts.

“James was going to be here too but he caught his girlfriends stomach bug.” He said, answering your unasked question, you shook your head, wishing him well before walking towards the front of your shop.

Taking your spot in front of the door with that gorgeous red ribbon across it, the nerves set in. “Good morning everyone. Thank you all so much for coming to the opening for Sugar Cakes, it means a lot to me. This is my first storefront and I’m so excited to share my creations with you! In light of today, I have mini cupcake samples inside waiting for you all!” They all clapped and cheered for you. “Also, a special thank you to the boys of RM Coffee for all the late night help and personal supply of caffeine while I prepared for today. And for the support, I mean come on. Don’t those men look fabulous in those pastel shirts!” You laughed, motioning to the group of baristas.

“So, who’s ready for cupcakes?” You shouted, scissors in hand. While everyone cheered, you snipped the ribbon, smiling as you watched it fall to the floor. “Sugar Cakes is officially open!” You smiled as Raul pulled you in for a hug and kissed your cheek.

“You’re gonna be quite busy today Sugar. I understand if you wanna call a rain check on tonight.” You shook your head, taking your tea from him

“Of course not. Maybe just something casual.” You suggested, there was no way you were cancelling your night with this man.

He smiled and nodded. “I know just the thing.” There was a smirk on his face as he placed a kiss to your temple before walking into his own shop.

The day went by fast. You’d sold 15 dozen cupcakes, had an order for a birthday cake, and an office asked if you’d provide muffins for their Monday morning meeting. You were so ecstatic all day you didn’t care that you hadn’t changed the heels that were now killing your feet.

There was a ding as someone entered the store before they spoke. “Excuse me, miss, do you have a moment to spare?” You looked up to see Raul, a bag in his hand.

“For you? Always.” You grinned, motioning him to come behind the counter with you.

He was quick to get to you. “I um, I noticed you looked uncomfortable in those shoes and I felt really bad you didn’t bring anything to change into. So I went to the shop down the street and got you some sneakers. They aren’t the most fashionable but at least your feel won’t hurt.” He blushed, handing you the plastic bag with a pair of white sneakers and half a sandwhich. “Figured you be hungry and since James isn’t here we had the extra half from lunch.”

You smiled at him, hugging his waist tightly “Oh my god you’re the best.” You sighed, slipping off your heels and putting on the shoes. “Oh my god that feels so much better. Thank you so much Raul.” He nodded, exchanging a few details about tonight before letting you get back to the customers.

The afternoon was a lot calmer than this morning, but you were still constantly busy. You had another order for macaroons to make and cupcakes for a baby’s first birthday. How you were going to do all of this alone, you weren’t sure, but you knew you’d get it done.

At exactly 7:00, Raul was outside, the pastel pink shirt was replaced with a nice navy button down and he looked amazing. “You ready for your night of no customers?” That smile he flashed you making you want to melt.

“What did you have in mind?” You asked as he opened the door to his own business

“Well, since you expressed to me that you have a deep, burning passion for hot chocolate, but you only know how to make the packaged kind. I thought,” he waved towards the counter “I could teach you how to make it from scratch.” You gasped at the assortment of chocolate and flavors to add and all the mugs to chose from, all laid out on the counter.

“That actually sounds amazing.” you sighed, leaning against his side, the day finally taking it’s toll on you.

You learned that you can do milk chocolate, dark chocolate, and even a white chocolate. And that milk is so much better than water. “I can’t believe that you’re a baker, yet you struggle with a simple drink.” Raul chucked, boping your nose and smearing whipped cream on it.

“Hey, don’t judge. I watched you shove a whole muffin in your mouth like you hadn’t eaten a real meal in days.” You pointed out, referring to that first day.

He threw his hands up in defense. “That wasn’t my fault. I’ve been living off of coffee and James danishes for weeks now.” You smiled, grabbing a chocolate cookie and pushing it into your mug. “Beautiful!” He shouted, throwing his hands into the air “Ladies and Gentlemen she has done it!” You bursted into a fit of giggles, holding your stomach as you laughed. “Now you’ve gotta drink it, while we watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” You let out a louder laugh at his choice.

“Why that? It’s not Christmas babe.” He smiled at the nickname you let slip, opening his laptop and turning off all the lights in the shop, pulling out a blanket. “Christmas in July was a few days ago. I figured it was fitting.” You shrugged, his reasoning making sense as you curled up under the blanket, mug of cocoa in your hand.

As the movie came to an end, you had your head on Raul’s shoulder, your body tired from the days excitement. “Hey, do you want me to drive you home honey? It’s too late to walk and you seem kinda tired.” You nodded, thanking him before folding up the fuzzy blue blanket and setting your now empty mug on the counter. “I’ll wash the muga in the morning. Let’s just get you home.” You smiled, grabbing your purse and making your way out the door and to the black BMW he had pointed out to you.

“You know, I may steal your hot cocoa recipe and name it after you.” He said as you pulled up to your apartment.

“That’s fine. As long as I can make the double chocolate muffin with extra chocolate chips the Raul Special” you retorted, looking at the side of his face. He was handsome from every angle.

“I’d love that idea. Makes me feel special.” He smiled, walking you to your door. The pristine white door had pastel pink numbers on it and he chuckled. It was very you to have already made the place your own.

“Thank you for tonight Raul. It was amazing and exactly what I needed.” Your hands were shaking now. This was the sacred doorstep moment. Would he kiss you? Go for the cheek? Maybe just walk away.

Your question was answered when he cupped your face, plump lips grazing yours before you reached up on your tiptoes, closing the gap. His lips tasted like mint and chocolate, and you couldn’t help but let out a soft moan. “Do you um, do you wanna go out again tomorrow?” He whispered against your lips, smiling as you nodded. “Good. Pick you up at 7. Dress nice. I’m gonna make up for missing dinner tonight.”

You leaned in for another kiss, and he wasn’t complaining. Pushing you up against the door and hands holding your waist. “I gotta go honey. I’ll see you tomorrow, and I’ll have something special for you.”

And with that, he left, eyes droopy as he watched you blush before touching your fingertips to your swollen lips before disappearing behind your door. You’d never felt so strongly about someone so quickly, but Raul seemed like that kind of person who drew you in and didn’t make you regret it.

So you crawled into bed, all too excited for tomorrow and your second date. The only worry you had was what he planned on giving you in the morning.

---

You woke up to someone pounding on your door at 5am. “Who the fuck could that be?” You groaned, wrapping up in your silk robe and walking to the front of your apartment. You looked through the peephole to find Raul. Hands behind his back.

Slowly, you opened the door, the sun barely brightening the sky. “Fuck, did I wake you,?” His smile dropping at your robe clad body and ruffled hair.

You shook your head, opening the door further. “It’s fine. Just an hour early. Come in, what are you hiding?” He blushed, stepping into the apartment and pulling a bouquet of roses from behind his back, a thermos in his other hand.

“I told you I’d have something special for you, I made a few adjustments to your hot chocolate and I��m ready to add it to the menu, after your approval.” His cheeks bright pink as he handed you the matte black thermos. You took a sip, closing your eyes and humming at the taste.

“It’s absolutely amazing. What did you do?” Taking another sip, you hopped onto the counter and looked at him. His hair was messy and his shirt was unbuttoned more than usual. He looked amazing for it being so early in the morning.

Raul smiled, setting the roses on the counter. “Well, I added a little more of the milk chocolate and that hazelnut flavor you liked. And a dash a cinnamon.” He smiled proudly as you took another large sip, cursing yourself for burning your tongue.

“I was thinking of calling it the “Hazelnut Sugar” in honour of the fact you made it after your love of Nutella” a blush creeped up your cheeks as he tucked your bed ruined curls behind your ears. “I’ll let you get ready for work, don’t forget we have a date tonight.” He placed a kiss to your lips before walking out the front door, leaving you sitting in your kitchen with a stupid smile on your face and the coffee cup in your hand.

------

It’s been a few weeks since your redo date with Raul. Over a month actually. He took you out to a wonderful dinner and then out for ice cream before taking you home. Leaving you with another heated front porch makout session. You were hesitant to jump into anything intimate. You’d already told him about your ex and he understood why you want to take things slow. But the two of you were already so loving.

Everyone now knew you were official, you both spent your mornings in the coffee shop and lunch in the bakery. Raul would drive you home after closing and stay until well into the night. Every greeting started with a kiss, no matter where you were.

You were now seated at one of the tables in the cafe, since it opened an hour before you so you usually brought Raul his muffins and sat with him while he ate. And you always had your special drink of the day. If he didn’t have anything new for you to try, he’d give you a favorite of yours. Today you were drinking your hibiscus tea with lemonade when the bell above the door rang and you turned. Your face turning white at the figure in front of you.

Walking through the doorway was your ex himself. His black hair slicked back and his sunshades clipped to the front of his shirt. “Oh, hey there doll face. What are you doing here?” His voice low as he sat next to you. You looked around for Raul or any of the guys, but they were all in the back laughing at something. “So sweetheart. You settled in nicely?? Don’t worry, I’m not here long. Just up to visit Scott for a few days and I’m headed back to New York.”

You stared at the side of Raul’s face through the window as Nate spoke “You should stay. In New York. No one wants you here.” He slung an arm over your shoulder, letting out a fake gasp “Oh baby, you want me to stay.” As he leaned in to kiss your cheek, your face green and scrunched up, you wondered how none of the other customers weren’t concerned. Raul walked back into the front, staring at you two. You looked at him, eyes begging for him to stop this, tears brimming your eyes in fear and embarrassment.

He had your thermos of hot cocoa in his hands, “Hey babygirl, you should get to work. I made you your favorite” He smiled, setting down the cup and leaning in, hands cupping your face before placing a deep and passionate kiss to your lips.

“Thank you.” You mumbled against his lips before he pulled away to look at Nate.

If looks could kill, Nate would be six feet under already. “Good morning sir. How may I help you today?” he asked, keeping him distracted while you made your way next door.

---

At lunch, Raul came in, a soft look on his face. “Hey, what happened this morning. You looked terrified and I’m so sorry I wasn’t out there.” You were glad you didn’t have any customers or special orders to make as you walked over to him, falling into his embrace and letting out a few tears.

“That was Nate. My ex. He, he said he was here for a few days and oh god. He knows I live near by.” Raul rubbed your back slowly, pressing his lips to your head as you swayed gently in the entryway.

“Hey, you’re okay baby. It’s okay. He doesn’t know where you live. I’m only 15 feet away from you almost all day. And uh, if you’d like. I’ll stay with you late tonight if it’ll make you feel safer.” You nodded quickly. Fear of the last time Nate wanted to find you, and ended up breaking down your door and searching your apartment for you, taking over. You were now having a panic attack in your small lobby.

“Shhh baby, it’s okay. You’re going to be safe. How about you close down the shop, and I’ll put Brian in charge for the rest of the day and we go to my apartment instead. You can sleep easy in my bed and I can sleep on the couch tonight.” You sniffled, nodding and reaching into your pocket to grab the keys to the shop.

“Thank you, babe. I just really need to lay down.” He nodded, pressing a kiss to your head before he left to go inform Brian. You felt bad pulling him away from his work, but he offered, and how could you say no to cuddling with Raul.

You got the bakery closed up, placing a handmade sign in the window reading “Closed due to personal illness”. Raul was waiting for you in his car to go pack a bag and head to his place. “You’re gonna be safe. Today was the last time you’ll ever have to see him okay? I won’t let him hurt you again.” You smiled as he placed a hand on your thigh, rubbing small circles to keep you calm.

“Welcome to my cozy home.” He announced, motioning to the inside of his house, causing you to let out a giggle.

“It’s very cozy looking.” You noted. Taking in the soft couch and blankets. It was surprisingly clean and smelled amazing, like the inside of his shop.

You heard him clear his throat behind you. “My uhh. My room is down the hall, you can put your stuff in there. Do you want anything to drink?” You shook your head, walking towards the door he’d pointed at.

The room was simple, a large wooden framed bed with a grey comforter, a matching dresser and bedside table and a tv. Nothing extravagant, but it was cozy. You set your bag on the end of the bed, looking for your pajamas when Raul came up behind you, arms around your waist. “Hey, I’m gonna go get something for dinner tonight. Do you want to take a shower? Wash off the morning and then when I get back you can teach me how to make those cute little macaroons you have at the bakery?”

You leaned your head back against his shoulder, biting your lip “Macaroons take a long time to make sweetie, how about we cheat and you get some ice cream instead?” He chuckled, nodding his head. “Or maybe, you could just call in a pizza later and you join me in the shower?” You smirked and his eyes widened.

“How about I run a bath? You’ve had a stressful week and it’ll be good for you.” You nodded, sighing and turning to face him.

There was a playful grin on your face as you spoke. “Will this relaxing bath include my boyfriend?” Raul leaned down, kissing you softly.

“If that’s what you want. Of course. But I promise I won’t try anything funny.” You let out a giggle, kissing his chest gently. What a fucking gentleman.

---

The warm water felt good on your skin as you leaned back against Raul’s chest. His chest that had a sparrow tattoo that he said matches his brothers and a very beautiful floral piece on his shoulder. His hands rested on your thighs, rubbing small circles. “So, what kind of pizza do you want? Or would you rather I order you a pasta?” his voice was low as he mumbled against your heated skin.

“Are you really asking me about dinner right now? You’ve got a naked girl in your lap and you’re asking about food??” you giggled, placing your hands on his forearms.

He kissed your shoulder gently, wrapping his arms around your waist tightly. “What would you rather talk about my love?” Shrugging, you leaned your head back for a kiss and he happily obliged. You reached back and tugged a little on those soft curls, earning a groan. “You’re supposed to be relaxing.” He warned, kissing along your shoulder.

“Right, right” You smiled, relaxing back against his chest and closing your eyes. “Raul? Will you sleep with me tonight? I just don’t feel safe and I’d feel a lot better if you were there with me.” He smiled, nodding and burying his nose in your hair.

“Of course. It’s whatever you want. I’m here to keep you safe.” He emphasized his point by squeezing you tightly, pulling you closer to him.

——

Now sat on the couch in one of Raul’s shirts and the shorts you brought, you heard the doorbell ring and Raul let out a groan. “Fuck I forgot it’s Wednesday. I always have dinner with my brothers on Wednesday here.” He looked over at you with an apologetic smile. “I can tell them to go home. You have already delt with enough today, you don’t need the stress of meeting my brothers for the first time.” You just shook your head and rubbed his thigh. “No it’s okay, I’d love to meet them. I guess it’s a good thing we didn’t order dinner yet.” He smiled at you, getting up to open the door for his siblings.

You heard them walk into the house and your nerves picked up. Here you were, meeting your boyfriend’s family for the first time and you were wearing his clothes and no makeup. “Oh shit, we didn’t know you had company Raul.” you looked up prepared for younger brothers, but instead saw two men that looked exactly like Raul. To an extent.

“Oh yeah, uh remember when I told you I was seeing someone?” they nodded, staring at you on the couch, in what was obviously their brother’s shirt. “This is my girlfriend, she uh, needed to stay here for the night because of some personal stuff. Be fucking nice.” He growled at them and you giggled.

The brother that noticed you first spoke, “Hi, I’m Shawn.” he smiled, holding his hand out for you to shake. He was almost as big as Raul, but his hair was slightly shorter and he had way less tattoos, but you saw the sparrow on his hand that matched Raul’s. “I’m sorry we barged in on you two, we always have dinner on Wednesday and we never think to call first.”

You shook your head, “Oh no, it’s perfectly fine, we were actually about to order some pizza, I think. I hope that’s okay with you guys.” He smiled, sitting on the smaller couch and looking at the third triplet who was talking to Raul about some new building coming up in town.

“Hey, I’m Peter.” he finally said, noticing you and Shawn were done with introductions. “It’s really nice to meet you, Raul never has girls over.” he smirks and Raul smacks the back of Peter’s head. Opposite of Shawn, Peter’s hair was longer than Raul’s and from what you can see, other than the sparrow you can see peeking out from the cuff of his jeans, he doesn’t have any other tattoos.

All four of you sat in the living room and talked while you waited for the delivery driver to arrive, you learned that Shawn was a business owner as well. He owned a music shop and taught guitar to kids and performed at the coffee shop on occasion. Peter was an architect, hence why he was talking to Raul about a new building. You were already very comfortable with the guys and you were grateful for that.

The doorbell rang for the second time and you got up to get the food, letting the guys catch up. “Hey, I have an order for Mendes?” the guy said, looking at the receipt and you nodded when he looked over at you. “It was paid for online.” he blubbered, obviously nervous when you took the boxes and handed him some cash.

“I know, here. Thanks for coming out here.” you smiled at him and he blushed, he couldn’t have been older than seventeen. “Have a nice night.” you waved at him and closed the door. Turning to the kitchen you heard Raul talking to his brothers.

You couldn’t help but listen in. “I know but she was so stressed after he showed up, I couldn’t let her sit at home alone. She was scared enough in the shop. I’m taking it slow, I really like her and you guys know I’m not usually one to be affectionate, but there’s something about her.” You blushed, taking the paper plates and joining them in the living room again.

---

Crawling into bed, happy and full of takeout pasta and ice cream, you curled up next to Raul. He was wearing some fuzzy plaid pajama pants and his torso was bare. “Hey, he’ll be gone in a few days and you’ll be free of him. I’m going to take care of you sugar” You laughed and nudged his arm at the nickname.

“I know you will. Thank you, you’re the most amazing person.” You whispered against his skin before he placed a finger under your chin and brought your face to his, kissing you softly. His lips were soft and tasted like his mint toothpaste. His oversized shirt raised above your hips as you reached up to play with his hair.

He let out a hum at the feeling. “They like you, ya know. They think you’re good for me, good to me. And coming from them, that’s a compliment.” You hummed, pressing a lazy kiss to his jaw. There was something about Raul that made you feel comfortable, like you could do anything and he’d love it. You pulled your hand away to scratch your wrist and he let out a whine. “Play with my hair again?” he asked and nuzzledinto your neck.

How in the hell were you supposed to deny him when he looked so soft? So you threaded your fingers into his hair and kissed his forehead gently. Eventually he decided you needed to stop or he’d fall asleep, so you switched places, Raul playing with your hair until you finally fell asleep, curled into his side. Your head on his chest and thigh resting lazily over his hip. Pressing a kiss to your forehead, he whispered a soft goodnight to you before lowering the volume on the tv and shutting off the lamp.

----

When you woke up, Raul was gone, but you could smell something from the kitchen. As you sat up to follow the smell, you felt a piece of paper on the sheets. Picking it up you read

“Stay in bed. I’ll be back soon. Don’t go anywhere!”

You laughed at the note, he was excited about something and plus, he was just so damn cute. The something was revealed to you when he walked into the bedroom, a tray covered in breakfast food in his large hands. “Good morning gorgeous. Did you sleep okay?” You mumbled a yes as he crawled into bed next to you, handing you your plate of bacon and cheese covered eggs and cup of tea.

“So I was thinking. Maybe I should call the guys and have them run the shop today, and we can have our own day? Just resting and watching movies or something. I mean. You’ve already got the sign up at the shop.” he asked, looking at you like he was praying for you to say yes. You knew he was just worried about you.

You thought about it for a moment, taking a sip of your tea. “I guess one day out of the bakery couldn’t hurt. As long as there is cuddling involved.”

Raul smiled widely as he nuzzled his face into your neck. “Good. Because I already called the boys to cover.”

You gasped, gently hitting his shoulder. “You planned this!” He just chuckled, kissing along your neck before stealing a piece of your bacon. His curls tickling your cheek as he held you. “Okay, do you want to learn how to make my new pumpkin recipe for the fall?” he nodded quickly, always eager to try something new. He had become your personal taste tester for you new recipes.

---

Looking at all the ingredients on the counter, you smiled. This was the first time you’d be sharing a recipe with someone, and it was a new one.

“You know.” Raul said, settling against the counter next to you, “I was thinking, it’s about time you made a menu item for me.” That cheesy grin on his face.

“Raul. You already do have one. The double chocolate muffins with extra chocolate chips.” He pouted, pulling up his phone.

“But I’ve already started on another one for you. I was thinking a special blend of your hibiscus tea with that lemonade you like. I never put lemonades in my tea unless it’s a special order.” He stated, looking at his phone, very obviously taking photos of you.

Your cheeks now a soft pink. He wanted to add another special to the menu just for you. “I’ll think about it.” You giggled, kissing his chest.

You were currently making the brown sugar and cinnamon frosting, a bowl of fresh cinnamon sticks waiting on the counter. “Babe? Can I help with anything?” He asked, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist.

You shook your head, grating some cinnamon into the bowl. “Nope. You made my breakfast this morning. I’ll make your dessert tonight.”

“But I was thinking of a different treat for dessert this evening.” He smirked, watching as you took a taste of the frosting.

Your eyes widened at his statement and he bit his lip. “Hey, if you’re planning on doing that, you might wanna get to work on dinner. I usually have wine with mine.”

He raised his eyebrows. “A wine drinker?” He asked and you nodded.

“I have been since I was 18.” You informed him, placing the frosting into the fridge and checking the timer on the cupcakes.

He tilted his head at you. “Babe, the legal age in the states is 21.”

You put a finger over your lips. “Shhhhh. Mom was very easy going.” You laughed, picking up a kitchen rag and cleaning up the counters to start on the chicken you were planning on making for dinner.

“Those smell amazing by the way. I haven’t had real cooking in my kitchen in a long time. Like I said. I’ve kinda been living off of coffee and your muffins. Dinner usually consists of takeout or a sandwich.”

You smiled, finishing your cleaning and reaching for the glass of water. “Well, if you keep be around there will be real dinners.” You smirked, walking over to take the dirty utensils to the sink.

“I’ll wash the dishes. Why don’t you open that cabinet there and make a choice.” You looked at him, face twisted in confusion before opening the door to see a small room full of wine.

“Are you kidding me? I swear you’re perfect.” You sighed, searching to see if he had that sweet red you enjoyed so much. “Ah. Yes!” You squealed, pulling out the bottle and walking back into the kitchen.

Raul had already washed all the dishes, and grabbed two wine glasses and was now waiting for you in the living room. “You’ve made a good choice.” He commented as he saw the bottle in your hands.

“It’s my favorite. I always prefer a sweeter wine. Never was a fan of the dryer ones.” You shrugged, sitting next to him and popping the cork before pouring you both a good sized glass.

——

”Don’t go wasting your emotions. Lay all your love on me!” You shouted along with the song, Raul down on his knees as he serenades you from the floor, looking up at you standing on the coffee table and singing into your wine glass. You both were now 4 glasses and a whole bottle of wine in, doing impromptu karaoke in the living room. The idea of dinner was long forgotten after you ate the cupcakes. You were grateful Raul didn’t have neighbors so far out into the woods here.

As the song came to an end, Raul stood up, grabbing your waist and lifting you off the table. Ed Sheeran’s “Barcelona” blasting through the house. He began spinning you around, singing to you. You had to admit that he was an excellent singer, you assume he learned from Shawn. Maybe it ran in the family. He even got the Spanish correct. But the whole mood changed when Elvis’ “Can’t Help Falling In Love” started playing.

You were now swaying drunkenly around the living room, Raul holding tightly to your waist and your arms resting on his shoulders. “Mmm move in with me.” He mumbled, burying his face in your neck.

“Babe, we’ve been dating for a little over a month.” you giggled, finding his offer funny.

He shook his head, laughing at his own words “Oh. Haha I guess so. Just seems so natural with you.” You weren’t sure if this was drunken talk or his sober thoughts finally coming out, so you kissed his chest and smiled as the intimate song ended and a more upbeat tune started.

In your wine drunken state, you spun around, pressing yourself against his groin and started grinding your hips to the beat. His hands instantly flying to your hips and pressing his semi against you. “Fuck. Babe you can’t do that. We are taking things slow.” You laughed, turning back around and pulling him towards the couch. He took a seat on the couch, expecting you to lay next to him, not straddle him and place a kiss to his neck.

“Just wanna have a drunk make out session with my boyfriend.” You breathed, cupping his face and kissing him. It was hungry and sloppy but it was perfect. His hands instantly gripping at your hips, grinding you down into him as he tugged on your bottom lip. “You should stay here again tonight. Can’t have you home alone and we aren’t in a state to drive. Plus, I like having you in my bed.” You nodded, now suddenly tired as the alcohol runs it’s usual course.

Raul laughed at your sudden change in mood, carrying you to bed. “You know, I really do like you. I might even love you.” You admitted as you crawled up to the pillow and stripped off the shirt that was now too hot. You didn’t care. He’d seen you naked in the tub the night before.

“I might love you too. Now get some sleep. We’ve got work in the morning.” He reminded you, pulling you into his chest and running his fingers along your back to ease you to sleep.

——-

You heard Raul’s phone ring twice before he answered. “Hello? Babe are you okay? Why are you calling me if you’re right next door.”

You laughed on your side of the phone “Raul can you come over please? I have something to show you.” You were all too excited to show him the new creation you’d made. It was a mocha flavoured cupcake with a white chocolate icing. You had made a whole dozen of them and they were waiting on the counter.

“What is it honey?” He asked as he walked in the door, the teenage girls at the table eating their cupcakes blushing at the gorgeous man in front of them.

“I made that second item you’d asked for.” You smiled, motioning to the cupcakes on the counter. “They’re mocha cupcakes.” You informed him as he picked one up.

He looked over at you, eyes bright and full of adoration. “Like my favorite drink flavour. But what ever shall we call this?” He asked in a mocking tone.

“Well, I was thinking of calling it the”Mendes Mocha” a wide smile on his face told you that was a good choice. “You’re so cute, oh my god I love you.” That was the first time he’d said that. However, you knew by the way his smile never faltered, that he meant it.

You giggled as you heard the two girls gasp. “I- I love you too.” And without saying anything else, Raul leaned across the counter for a kiss.

“I love you.” He mumbled again, brushing your hair behind your ear and stealing another kiss.

“You’re coming over tonight. No questions asked. I’m ready.” He pulled back, looking at you with a questioning face. “I am. Now get back to the shop. And take these cupcakes! I made them for you and the guys.” You handed him the plate and smiled as you watched him leave the bakery. Tonight would be perfect.

———

The sun was already low when Raul knocked on your door, takeout burgers in the bag he was holding. You let him in, smiling at the tattooed man and giving him a kiss. “Thought I’d bring you some of the best burgers in the area. It’s my favourite place to go for curly fries.”

You snatched the bag from his hands “Mendes if there are no curly fries in this bag, I’m sending you home and tonight will be cancelled.”

He let out a laugh, pressing a kiss to your head. “There’s extra curly fries in the bag. Special just for you.” You hummed in satisfaction as you popped a fry into your mouth.

They were Cajun seasoned, your favorite. “You may stay.” You stated, pulling out the food and taking a seat on the couch. “Are we gonna finish ‘Nailed It’ or do we wanna watch a movie?” You asked, clicking to Netflix as Raul sat next to you, pulling your feet into his lap.

You looked over at him, waiting for an answer. “I was thinking Dirty Dancing. You seem to really like that one.” You gave him a look, raising your eyebrows as if to ask “are you really gonna watch this movie?” He nodded, taking the remote from you and pressing play on it.

“This is my favorite part!” You squealed, as it cuts to the final scene. All the talent show acts singing on stage before Johnny comes back for the final dance. “You know. I know how to do that.” Raul blurted out, taking a sip of water.

Raising your eyebrows, you turned to face him. “Do what?” You looked down at his chest, his button down unbuttoned completely and just hanging on his shoulders.

He just shrugged, “The lift they are about to do. I can do that. The hockey team lost a bet in high school with the dance team, me and my brothers were on the team, and we had to learn this. We ended up being their partners for the spring show. If we had won, they were gonna learn to play hockey.”

You just stared at him. “Show me.” He nodded, standing up and walking in front of the couch.

You got up and stood on the opposite side of the living room, staring at him skeptically. “Come on baby. I’ll catch you.” You laughed, not sure if he was referencing the movie or really calling you the nickname, but still stood up. However, you didn’t doubt he would catch you.

You bit your lip nervously, you’d always wanted to do this. When you were younger you danced and always hoped you’d get to have that perfect lift but you quit before you made it that far. “You got this babe.” He cheered as it was time for the lift and you ran towards him, your toes pointing the second he lifted you off the wood flooring and held you above his head.

You new the form pretty well so you held it for a few seconds before he was sliding you down his body. Your legs wrapping around his waist, stopping you from going any further.

He looked at you, your body flush against his, gasping as you leaned down for a hungry kiss, lips crashing into his. “You sure you’re ready baby?” You nodded, tugging the open button down off his shoulders as he walked the two of you to your bedroom.

He stumbled a little over the towels on the floor, causing you to let out a giggle. “I should pick those up.” You mumbled into his mouth before pulling away to tug your shirt off your heated body, tossing it onto the floor next to the towels.

Laying you down carefully, he hooked his fingers into the band of your leggings . “Baby are you sure you want this? We can stop if you want.” You shook your head, lifting up your hips.

“I want this Raul. Please do something.” He didn’t need any more confirmation before he slowly slid the fabric down your thighs. His eyes widening at your half naked body, you bit your lip, his eyes making you self conscious.

“No no baby, you look amazing.” He reassured you before ridding you of your panties and tugging down his boxers, joining you in your naked state. “I- uh, I have a condom in my jeans. I’ve got to go get it.” You nodded your head, watching the way he opened the package. “I love you so much. I promise I’ll be gentle.” You smiled at now nervous he suddenly sounded, and ran a hand through his curls. “Hey, you okay Raul?” He nodded, kissing your lips softly.

“Just, it’s been a while and, god I just love you so much. Wanna make you feel so good.” Letting out a chuckle you mumbled an “I love you too.”

—

“Come here baby.” He said as he leaned back on the bed, arms open for you to curl into. And that’s exactly what you did. Your head on his chest, listening to his heart rate slow down as he held you tightly to him. “I love you Raul.” You hummed out before your eyes closed and sleep took over. “I love you too.”

Raul’s lips on your shoulder woke you up. “Wake up baby, gotta get ready for work.” You let out a groan before rolling over and pressing your lips against his gently. “Just a few more minutes. Wanna be with my boyfriend.”

He chucked against your lips. “You see me all day honey.” He reminded you, hand coming up to rest on your jaw. This thumb was pressing against your pulse point gently and your jaw went slack.

“S’ not the same though” you pouted as he sat up and put on his jeans.

“I’m taking my white shirt back for the day.” He announced as he took the shirt off the hanger to wear. You’d kept it after a date that ended up at your apartment in the bath. You just laid there and watched him get dressed, muscles contracting as he moved. “You’re staring.” He stated.

You blushed, having being caught and looked down at your rings. “You’re pretty.” You mumbled, looking back up at him and letting the sheets fall off your chest and settle at your hips.

He walked back over to you, kissing your nose softly. “Be at the cafe in 30 minutes?? I’ve got something new for you to try.” You nodded, crawling out of bed to get ready for the day as Raul let himself out.

Last night was better than you’d imagined. And you hoped there’d be more. Simply because Raul was so gentle with you, but you were still sore. So you settled for wearing a sundress today, as jeans wouldn’t help the situation. “He’s gonna be the death of me.” You mumbled as you made your way to the cafe.

——-

October

Working all alone in the bakery got really stressful around holidays. Lots of people wanted cupcakes and cakes made for Halloween back home and since you were still shipping, you had at least 10 orders to make. So here you were, hair in a messy bun, running around putting cupcake tins in the large ovens and setting other tins to cool in the blast chiller, while also trying to decorate the desserts correctly and exactly the same.

“Honey! I’m here for lunch!” Raul announced, holding a bag of paninis from the shop down the street and a lemonade for you.

You poked your head out of the kitchen, frosting on your forehead and he smiled at you. “I’ll be out in just a minute baby, I’ve gotta finish these cupcakes.” You rushed the words out before returning to the baked goods on the counters, picking up the bag of orange frosting and icing the jumbo cupcakes in front of you.

They were supposed to have orange frosting and a small fondant hat. You made this kind every year for a family that lived next to you back home. Along with a few other specific orders, like the coffin cake the Briggs’ wanted and the double bunt cake that was made to be a pumpkin.

Raul nodded, taking a seat on the counter behind you and licking the batter off of a bowl. “The dark chocolate batter is really good babe.” He mumbled over the finger in his mouth as he licked the batter off of it.

“Thanks, I revamped it with some chilli powder for a family back home. It’s a special order.” Finally setting down the frosting bag, you leaned in for a kiss and tasted the batter on his tongue.

You moaned into his mouth when his hand came up to your neck. “I got you that ham and cheese panini you love. With the spinach.” He smiled at you, handing you your sandwich.

“You’re the absolute best.” You praised over a mouth full of food. Raul laughed at you, taking a large bite of his own lunch before stealing a sip of your lemonade. “That’s mine Mendes.”

He flashed you a cheesy grin, handing you the cup. “I think you need to hire some help baby. You work in here all day by yourself and I know you’re really stressed right now.” The worry evident in his voice. “Yes, but if I do, I’ll lose the excuse for nightly back rubs and stress induced sex.” He let out a chuckle, arms open in a silent plea for you to stand between his parted legs.

He spun you around and placed a kiss to the back on your neck. “How about this.” He proposed, his thumbs digging into your shoulders. “You hire some help, and then you can close up shop earlier and we can have more dates and then wine induced sex.”

The offer was reasonable. And you were in need of some extra hands around the kitchen anyways. Holiday orders would soon be approaching and you’d definitely need help. “That works, I’ll start looking for some extra help.” He smiled against your neck before placing another gentle kiss to the skin.

“The boys have things handled at the cafe. Why don’t I help for the rest of the day?” His arms wrapping around your waist as you walked to the sink to wash your hands.

You giggled at his clinginess. For someone so large and tattooed and pierced, he was the softest person you’d ever met. “Hmmmm I could use some help. As long as I get periodic kisses. I’ve been so busy lately and I’ve missed my boyfriend.”

Turning around to dry your hands, Raul grabbed your face and planted a sloppy kiss to your lips. “I missed you too baby. How about you come over after work today and I’ll set up a bath for you. It’s been two weeks since I’ve had any time with you.”

You nodded, kissing him again softly before getting back to work. “Come on lover boy. I’m going to teach you how to properly frost a cupcake.”

——

A month later.

It all happened so fast, you aren’t exactly sure how it happened. One second you were opening the oven to get the cupcakes out, and the next you were on the floor screaming. Raul heard you from next door and came sprinting through the shop. “Baby? Baby what happened!” His voice frantic as you laid on the floor, clutching your arm before you passed out from the pain.

You’d been awake for 2 days straight, and in your exhausted state, your hand slipped and landed on the oven grate. Burns raising on your skin as Raul carried you to the car, he yelled at James to cover your shop and clean up the kitchen for you. “Fuck, baby it’s okay. I’m gonna take you to the hospital.”

You were now set up in a hospital bed. Your left arm burning as you tried to remember what happened to your arm. “Raul?” You croaked, and he shot up from the chair.

“Oh good you’re up. How’s your arm?” His fingers resting on your shoulder.

“Fucking hurts.” You chuckled, looking at the bandages running from your fingertips to your elbow. They were a pale pink color and you're sure he’d asked them for that color wrapping.

“You took a bit of a fall there babe. Third degree burns on your hand and forearm.” He told you, grabbing your hand and kissing your knuckles.

“Here’s the cream for the burns.” The doctor announced as he walked in the room. “Your paperwork has been done and you are good to go home. You’ve got to rest and relax for a few days and keep that arm away from the heat. I’ve got some topical cooling cream for you in a bag and you should apply it twice a day. It’ll draw out the heat and heal it quicker.” You nodded at the instructions before thanking him and being discharged.

However, the ride home was anything but relaxing. “I just can’t fucking understand why you don’t have extra help yet. You fucking burned up your arm baby! And all because you were too caught up in work to even fucking sleep. That’s it. You’re staying with me now. I’m making sure that you sleep. And that your arm is healed. Then I’m calling a few of the college students who sometimes help me during the holidays and they are going to take over. Because you’re not getting hurt again!”

The yelling was anticipated, Raul was always protective of you. But you weren’t prepared for him to be this angry. “Raul I didn’t do it on purpose! I was tired and I slipped. It could’ve happened to anyone.”

At that, his face softened at the next comment. “But it didn’t happen to anyone. It happened to you, and now you’re hurt badly. Please stay with me. Let me take care of you.”

“Raul are you suggesting I move in with you?” You asked, trying to lighten the situation and change the topic.

There was a brief moment of silence, aside from the radio before he spoke “Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m suggesting. Move in with me. Please?” There was another pause before he stopped at a stop light and you leaned over, gently grabbing his hand.

“I will. Of course I will.” He looked over at you wide eyed, speeding to your apartment.

The moving in started right away. Literally. Raul made that stop at your apartment where you both packed up all you possibly could. You were taking a while, only able to use one hand really, but you were able to pack an over night bag while He loaded up everything he could into the back of his car and the trunk . “You ready baby??” He asked as you made your way to him.

“I am!” You smiled, hopping into the front seat and resting your feet on the dashboard. “I’ve never lived with a boyfriend before.” You admitted as he pulled into his own driveway.

“I have never lived with a girlfriend before.” He told you, grabbing your things and letting you into the house. “I’ll unpack your stuff okay? You lay down and get some rest. I’m planning a movie date tonight.”

—-

You woke up about 11, the sun was long gone and the house was illuminated by a few lamps. “Good morning sleeping beauty.” Raul whispered as he looked at you in his lap, his fingers carding through your hair. “You sleep okay?” A small hum left your chest as you nuzzled into his side. “I’ve got some soup on the counter for you. Broccoli cheddar.”

You smiled up at him. “That’s my favourite kind.” You sighed, still groggy from sleep. Before you laid down, you took one of the sleep aids the doctor prescribed since you were sleep deprived.

He nodded, turning down the tv. “I know honey. You’ve told me. I just figured it’d be best. You sounded a little sick too. I think it’s the lack of sleep your getting. Making you sick sweetheart.”

You looked down at your left arm, frowning at the ugly bandages. “I’m going to stay with you for a few days okay? The boys have the cafe and I called a few of my holiday helpers to to cover the orders for you. They have very specific instructions, so they will make sure it’s done properly and all the orders go out.” You leaned up, pressing a lazy kiss to his chapped lips. “You’re amazing. Did you know that?” You asked, sitting up and straddling him to get a good look at his face. You noticed a small hole in the top of his ear and smiled. “You used to have an industrial?” You asked, reaching up to touch the hole.

He nodded, laughing. “Yeah, I took it out when I was seeing this one girl who said she thought it was stupid.” He looked at you, your face contorted in a weird expression. “What? You don’t like that I’ve seen other girls before you?”

You laughed and shook your head. “No, I just think it’s stupid you took it out. It would be so hot. I’ve actually been thinking of getting some modifications myself.” You stated proudly, looking at your lap. “When I was graduating college, all my friends got tattoos and nipple piercings and I was nervous but I still wanna do it.”

At the mention of nipple piercings, Raul let out a moan. “I can call Lex, of the the artists at the shop I go to if you really want to.” He suggested and you nodded.

—

The two of you watched Deadpool 2 as you ate. Raul feeding you because he claimed the bowl was too hot for you to hold. Protective Raul was always present and so was his cuddly side. The way he pulled you into his lap and nuzzled into your neck made you realize that you were head over heels in love with them man, and it had only been 4 months.

You’d never lived with someone before, and you were always convinced you’d be nervous as hell. But this felt comfortable. You practically lived with Raul anyways, so it only made sense. And if you were being honest with yourself, you could see yourself with him forever. But what you didn’t know. Is that he could see that too.

—-

December

The orders were all reds and whites and greens. Peppermint was everywhere. In the frosting, as decoration, in your hot cocoa Raul brought you during the day. There were orders for Santa hat cupcakes and cupcakes like wreaths. Red and green macaroons with white filling, and you couldn’t have been happier about it all. Eli, Conner, and Britt were all such a huge help in the kitchen.

“Sweetheart. I have your hot cocoa here. There’s also a gift for you.” You walked out of the kitchen to see Raul, his grey knit sweater hugging his biceps perfectly.

You looked down at the box on your counter “Baby Christmas isn’t for a few more days. What is this for?” He just shrugged, sliding the box towards you.

“Open it and see. I think you’ll love it.” His face now a bright red as the nerves set in.

You gently tore off the pretty blue paper, placing the bow on top of your steaming cup, before lifting off the top of the box and letting out a gasp. “Oh, Raul!” You sighed, holding up the soft red silk dress and a pair of black heels.

“I figured you could wear it to dinner tonight. You said you wanted to look nice for this evening and I wanted to get you the best.” He was beaming at your excitement.

The dress was dropped into the box as you hugged him tightly. “It’s amazing. Oh my god! I can’t wait to wear it and it’ll go amazing with the black purse I just got for my birthday!”

He smiled that cheesy grin you loved before placing a kiss to your lips. “I’ll come get you about 4 and we can go home to get ready. You’ve got this today, right guys?” He leaned back to look at the 18 year olds in the kitchen and got a collective “yeah!”

—-

“Oh fuck you look so good.” He breathed as you came out to the living room where he was waiting for you. He had already put on his black slacks, his button down was the same color as your dress and you smiled. You did a quick spin so he could see everything. “Compliments to my stylist.” You laughed, taking his hand before he led you to the car. Both of you wrapped in big coats to combat the cold air.

Finally arriving to the restaurant, Raul ran over to your door, opening it for you and helping you across the snow covered parking lot. “I’ve never seen this much snow before.” You commented, looking at the white streets glittering in the lights of the building. “It’s so beautiful I could just cry.”

He just looked at you and smiled, pressing a kiss to your head. “You’re just so perfect baby. I love you so much.” You hummed, looking up at him and asking for his that he happily gave you.

The restaurant was warm and there was a small tree in the foyer and some garland here and there. “It’s a special night for us. Why don’t you bring us a bottle of your best wine. Make sure it’s a sweet wine please. That’s my girl’s favourite.” Raul spoke to the waiter, a smile on his face the whole time.

“Ooh, what’s he special occasion?” The boy’s face lit up, glad he was involved in something special.

Raul sat up straighter, grabbing your hand and noticing you were wearing the bracelet he got you for your birthday. “Well. It’s my 6 month anniversary with this gorgeous angel. And she just recently decided to move in with me.”

The boy smiled, sending you a “congratulations” as he left to get the wine and stumbled over his feet a little. “I think someone has a little admirer.” he laughed, pressing a soft kiss to your hand. “You really do look amazing sugar. That color looks so good on you. I just knew it would.” A blush crept up your cheeks as you squeezed his hand.

“Well you don’t look too bad yourself. I’ve never seen you in a suit before.” You sat back to look at him. The black suit fitting him perfectly and that red button down making you have impure thoughts at the dinner table.

“Here you go guys, this one is on the house. Happy anniversary.” Archie, your waiter smiled as he placed a plate with a large brownie and a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top in front of you. On the plate, written in chocolate sauce was “Happy Anniversary” with a little heart. You looked over at Raul and smiled, thanking Archie before grabbing and spoon and taking a bite, Raul doing the same.

Walking back to the car, you made a small snowball and threw it at Raul who was fishing for his keys in the pocket of his jacket, hitting him in the shoulder. “Oh you’re in for it now babygirl!” He laughed, throwing a snowball back at you and getting you in the back.

The two of you had a small snowball fight in the parking lot before the cold got to your fingers and you needed to go warm up.

—-

“Oh baby they’re freezing!” He scolded as he held your hands in front of the fireplace back at the house. You were both wrapped up in a blue blanket, clad in your pajamas and mugs of hot cocoa on the table

“I love you so much. And I’m so grateful that you decided to move up here and open up shop right next to me.” He mumbled against your fingers.

You noticed he was paying extra attention to your ring finger. “I am too. It’s like fate knew we’d be perfect for each other.” As you spoke, you leaned your head against his shoulder, your eyes drooping as your body went slack against Raul’s.

“Get some sleep, love. We can stay right here tonight. We don’t have work tomorrow.” He reminded you, rubbing your back gently as you grabbed a pillow from the couch and curled up in his lap.

“I love you, Raul.” Your body giving in to the sleep.

“I love you too.” He smiled, laying down next to you, his face nuzzled into your neck. His thoughts riddled of the memory of you tonight, and the ring, sitting in a black velvet box in the glove box of his car. Waiting for that soon approaching day

—-

You woke up on the floor, forgetting you’d fallen asleep in front of the fire the night before. Raul was pressed against your back, already awake. “Morning darling. You ready?” He asked, pressing a kiss to the back for your head.

“Ready for wh- oh fuck. I forgot. Yeah.” You chuckled nervously, remembering today was your appointment with Lex. For Christmas Raul decided he was gonna pay for your piercings and then if you wanted a tattoo.

“You don’t have to babe. I can always cancel it if you wanna back out.” You shook your head, determined to do this. “Alright, let's go then babe.” He swatted your butt and you got up to get dressed.

You decided on a bodysuit and a pair of jeans, just in case you decided on a tattoo as well. “Well sugar, you ready?” Raul asked as you walked into the shop. You were shaking in anticipation.

“Morning Raul!” A guy waved at you two from behind the counter. “You have an appointment?” He asked, looking at the schedule book on the counter.

“She does.” He smiled, nudging you and walking you to the guy at the counter. “She’s got a piercing and a possible tattoo with Lex.”

The man held out his hand and smiled at you. “Hey, I’m Will. You can follow me back here.” He said and waived you and Raul back to a room in the back for privacy.

“Morning gorgeous.” A lady, you assumed was Lex, smiled at you from her chair. “If you’re ready, you can pull the top down and settle into the chair.” She said, pulling on a pair of latex gloves.

You looked over at Raul, who was smiling at you, while Will put on a pair of gloves as well. He just grabbed your hand as you laid down and pulled the top below your chest. “Okay I’m ready.” You announced and dropped Raul’s hand tightly.

“Okay honey, close your eyes and take a deep breath.” Lex told you after she’d applied the clamp. You did as you were told, letting out a soft whimper as the needle pierced your flesh. “This one will hurt a little more. But you’re doing just fine. Will, you ready?” She asked looking at Will who was standing by Raul’s head. He nodded and at the same time she pierced your second side, Will pushed a needle through Raul’s closed up industrial.

You let out a scream but stayed still as Lex screwed the barbell together. “Oh baby, that looks so sexy.” Raul said, looking over at you after Will had secured the stud. “Do you wanna do a tattoo too? Christmas gifts galore?”

Lex handed you a mirror so you could look for yourself and you let out an excited squeal. “Oh these are so cute!” You smiled, handing the mirror back, pulling your top back up and looking over at Raul to see his stud. “You look sexy too babe.” He smiled, pulling out his phone to take a photo of his ear to send to Shawn and Peter.

“Well, would you like to do a tattoo as well? Raul says he’s paying, so do whatever you’d like.” You bit your lip, remembering the floral piece your friend sent you that you wanted. You wanted to get it because it had your parents and yours favorite flowers. She’d done it after your parents passed away two years ago in a car accident.

You nodded your head, pulling up the photo, but not showing Raul. “Can we do that?” You asked Lex, nervous she’d be hesitant since it’s not her own work. “My best friend did it and it’s really personal. I have the rights to the piece.”

She nodded and smiled, waving the guys out of her room. “What does it mean?” She asked as she shut the door and started disinfecting everything for the tattoo.

“When I was 21, my parents got into a car crash. They didn’t make it. The roses were my dad’s favorite, well at least for every Valentine’s Day he gave me pink roses. My mom loved tropical flowers, hence the hibiscus, then my favorite is the peony.” You smiled at the memory of your parents.

She hugged you gently, careful of the new jewellery and pulled back to trace the photo that you sent her. “Where do we wanna put this masterpiece?” She asked, motioning to your body.

“I was thinking my thigh, so that way I can see it, but it’s covered for my wedding day.” You had made the choice a long time ago that no tattoos would be visible until after your wedding.

She looked over at you, eyes wide. “I didn’t know you and rail were getting married!” You laughed and shook your head.

“No no, it’s just a rule I have. No visible tattoos until I’m married. For photos.” She nodded in understanding and apologised for the assumption. “Oh you’re fine. I can see where the confusion came from.”

—-

A little over an hour later you were ready to go. The tattoo was bandaged and finished, and you thanked Lex profusely for the beautiful work. She even added a little color to it to make it special.

“You all ready my little rebel?” Raul asked as you met him in the lobby. He also had a bandage on his opposite bicep.

“Oh finally working on the blank arm?” You asked, looking at the cling wrap. It was covered by a black piece so you couldn’t see it. “Why can’t I see?” You pouted, looking up at him.

He smiled, pulling out his wallet and making his way to the counter to pay for your new additions. “It’s a surprise babe. I’ll show you later. Here.” He handed you the keys. “Go start the car okay? I’ll be there in a minute.” So you made your way to the car, careful of the seatbelt as you got settled in and scanned the radio.

Raul got in shortly after, smiling at you. “Merry Christmas my love.” He hummed, pulling out of the parking lot and making his way to the house. “So when are you gonna show me what you got?”

You looked down at your thigh and smiled. “When we get home. When can I see yours?” You quipped, tapping his arm and smiling.

“When we get home.” He smiled, holding his hand out for you to take. “I’m proud of you for today. And you look really hot. But you also looked really hot before.” He winked at you, pulling into the driveway. “Let’s go do our reveal.” He grinned, turning off the car.

Now sat on the bed, the sheets covering the masterpiece on your leg. “Now before you say anything, this is a really special tattoo. And I don’t want you to look at me all sad, I’m okay.” You warned, tossing the sheet off your body to show the bouquet.

“That’s beautiful, darling. What’s it for?” He asked, fingers brushing against your thigh before grabbing your hand.

You squeezed it gently. “Two years ago my parents died in a car crash. They were going to a bed and breakfast and there was an accident on the slippery roads. These are mine and my parents favorite flowers.” You looked down at them, leaning against his side.

“I’m sorry baby. I’m glad you could do something to memorialize them.” He kissed the top of your head. “Would you like to see what I did?” He asked, pulling the tape off his arm.

You nodded eagerly, eyes glued to the spot on his bicep. He pulled his covering away to reveal a small peony flower in the steam coming off of a cup of coffee. “It’s uh, it’s for you.” He blushed, watching as you years up at the gesture.

“Did you know that I love you, Raul Mendes?” You asked, launching yourself over and into his lap to cup his cheeks. He nodded, pressing his his against yours feverishly.

——————

New Year’s Eve

You were back in that red dress, a glass of champagne in your hand as you talked to Peter. You were all at a party on top of a building, and there was about 10 minutes until midnight. You were on your second glass of champagne, but you were still very aware of what was going on.

Raul had been nervous all day, almost forgetting his shoes before you left for the party, taking a wrong turn and making you 20 minutes late to the party.

He was in that black suit again, this time wearing a crisp white button down and a navy blue tie. He looked like an absolute dream, and while the party was black tie, he seemed very dressed up. “Baby your macarons and champagne cupcakes are a huge hit tonight!” He smiled, placing a kiss to your cheek.

“Well, they were in high demand this season so I figured they’d be the best option and James’s wife Avery was so excited to pick them up this afternoon.” You smiled, wiping some frosting off the corner of his lip.

As the clock ticked closer to midnight, the more nervous Raul looked. His face looked flushed and his hands were shaking. You figured he was nervous about driving home after the party or maybe he wasn’t so comfortable around this many people.

Raul’s hands wrapped around your waist as you watched the tick down the seconds. “5, 4, 3, 2, 1!” And you were spun around, Raul’s lips crashing against yours as he held you close to him.

“Partner with me.” He mumbled against your lips “break down the wall between our shops. I wanna see you all day every day.” You giggled at his proposal, nodding as confetti and glitter rained down on you.

“You will?” He asked, his pink cheeks making you smile.

“Of course I will!” And he kissed you again. His plan was falling perfectly into place.

——

8 months later

“Baby should we paint the walls grey or what?” You asked, looking at the swatches from the contractor. Raul popped his head in from around the corner and you giggled. “Maybe a nice grey. That way it’s still pretty for your cupcakes and still fits my coffee shop.” You nodded, picking out a neutral grey color and sending it to Ricky.

The painting was the last thing to do before you could reopen your shop, and you were so excited you couldn’t handle it. You’d been only doing orders, making them from home and you’d been itching to get back into your kitchen at the bakery. “Hey honey, I was thinking we could use these little metal chairs, since they are white it could mesh well.”

You looked over at his laptop at the new stuff for the floor, smiling at the cute little chairs and pressing your lips to his bicep against the healed tattoo. “You know. I think we’ve done enough for today. Why don’t we go back to the house and relax.” As you spoke, you kissed along his shoulder, your fingers slipping under his shirt and running over his abs. He couldn’t have moved fast enough, tugging you along behind him to the car and speeding the already short drive to the house.

Laying there, tangled up in the sheets, Raul drew little patterns on your back with the pads on his fingers. You swore you felt him write “marry me” across your shoulders, but thought you were imagining things. “You think we can open by the end of this month?” You asked, looking up at his peaceful face.

“We just had sex, and you’re wondering when we can open?” He chucked, running his fingers through your hair.

“I guess that isn’t the best pillow talk.” You yawned, nuzzling into his neck. You could lay there with him forever, nuzzled against his warm skin and breathing in that smell that you could only describe as Raul.

You laid in silence for a few minutes. “Baby, do you ever think about our future?” He finally spoke, but you were already sleeping peacefully on his chest. Your even breathing fanning across his bare chest slowly pulling him into dreamland with you.

——-

The shop was finally ready, all the chairs and tables set up, your display case clean and ready for you to fill it in the morning before the grand opening. Raul was wiping down the cappuccino machine as you went around making sure all the artwork on the walls were hanging straight and the flowers you'd placed accordingly were still perfect.

“I think it’s all ready for tomorrow honey. You ready to go home and have dinner? I’ll make that pasta you like in exchange for a shoulder massage.” He propositioned, throwing the towel over his shoulder and running a hand through his curls.

“I think that’s a fair deal.” You smiled, looking over at him. Sweaty and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He was a sight to be seen.

He nodded, tossing you the car keys. “Go start the car and I’ll lock up okay?” You smiled, tightening your ponytail and walking off to the parking lot out back to cool off the car.

Raul stayed back, making sure everything was perfect for tomorrow. It was a big day. Even bigger than you were ready for, and he’d be damned if anything went wrong.

——

When Raul came back from the gym, you were just waking up, his button down open and hanging off your body as you brushed your teeth. “Raul, darling you’re staring.” You laughed, rinsing out your mouth and starting the shower. “You gonna join me or am I gonna have to be in there all alone on this wonderful morning?” It was a wonderful morning indeed.

He was quick to strip out of his gym clothes, sliding in behind you under the stream of water. His hands instantly grabbing the shampoo bottle and squeezing it into his palm. You closed your eyes as he massaged the gel into your scalp, your arms wrapped around his waist and cheek pressed against his chest.

It was such an intimate moment and you wished it would never end, while he was praying for it to be over, so he could do what he’s been wanting to do since day one.

Now clean and dressed in a nice black dress, you were curling your hair. Raul stood behind you, watching you with so much love and adoration in his eyes you wanted to cry. “Haven’t you been told it's rude to stare, Mendes.” The way his last name slipped off your tongue so effortlessly, he almost dropped to his knees right there.

“Honey we’ve got to go, you look perfect. We are going to be late to our own opening.” He laughed, placing a large hand on your lower back as you walked out the door.

There were reporters everywhere. Photographers covering the opening of the new merged shop. And of course the boys who would now be working for the both of you. The customers, who were thrilled to see the shops open again and missed the goodies they’ve been missing since it was under renovation were all buzzing with excitement.

The two of you stood in front of the building, Raul had one hand in his pocket and you figured it was his nerves. But as the cameras started flashing and you both held a scissor handle, he let go. Dropping to his knee and pulling his hand out of his pocket finally, he spoke. Words shakey as he tried to keep himself together.

“When you opened up next to me a year ago, I never thought we’d become what we are. And now here we are, and as we join our two babies together. Why not join our lives as well. What do you say?” The tears were freely falling down your face as you nodded. Pulling him up to give him a kiss you sobbed out a “yes!” And the crowds of people cheered.

“Now that the hard part is over! Welcome to Coffee Cake cafe and bakery!” Raul cheered, slipping the ring on your finger and pulling you in for another kiss

—-

Somehow you managed to pull through the day. Many congratulations being thrown at the two of you when a familiar face walked in. It was Archie, your waiter from the night you went to dinner for your anniversary. “Hey guys! I just heard. I’m so excited for you guys!” He beamed, dropping a takeout bag on the counter before ordering a coffee and a blueberry muffin.

“This one is on us Achie.” You smiled, looking into the bag and seeing another brownie, this time with the words “congratulations” in chocolate. He waved a goodbye before leaving and you got back to work, But all day you wanted to be with Raul. Your fiancé.

You don’t know how he pulled it off, but he did it. The excitement radiated off of you in waves at the thought of spending the rest of your life with this man. And you couldn’t wait to see what else the world had in store for the two of you. “I love you sugar.” He whispered in your ear, kissing your neck now that the traffic had stopped and the shop was empty, seeing as it was almost closing time.

“I love you too Mendes.” Your smile was evident in your voice.

You felt him smile against your skin. “That’s gonna be your name soon.” His lips trailing down your neck as you gasped

“Hurry and close up baby. I wanna show you just how much I love you.” You mumbled, grabbing his hand and feeling his fingers brush your ring. And you swore you’d never seen him happier. Or move that fast.

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes au #shawn peter raul mendes #raul mendes #shawn au #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn writing #raul mendes writing #coffee cake #my fic

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lovelylogans · 4 years

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love light gleams

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part of the wyliwf verse.

the sideshire files | read my other fics | coffee?

warnings: food mentions, complicated parental relationships, teenage emancipation, emotional abuse, mentions of being disowned, mentions of transphobia and homophobia, classism, mentions of past underage drinking, crying, religious content (church, going to confession), remus cameo, mentions of choking/killing someone, something similar to the canon “have you thought about killing your brother?” monologue, please let me know if i’ve missed anything!

pairings: gen

words: 57,686

"patton,” meredith says warmly, “and logan, too! come in, come in, let’s get you both out of the cold.”

“hi,” patton says, and shuffles into the diner. “um—sorry i’m late, but, you know. babies.”

“oh, they’ll need something right at the moment that’s most inconvenient, won’t they?” meredith says. “and no worries, the time’s really more a suggestion anyway—most of the rest of the kids aren’t here, but let me introduce you to my son, wyatt—”

mark, who’s sitting at the counter, looks like the man at the counter copy-pasted, except mark’s aged about twenty more years and is a bit softer around the belly. wyatt sets aside his fork and turns to more fully face him—the only difference, other than age, are the perfectly circular glasses that wyatt’s wearing, making his brown eyes overly large, like he’s looking through two magnifying glasses.

“hi,” patton says. “i’m patton, this is logan.”

“hello, patton,” he says, and, equally seriously, “hello, logan. may i hold him?”

“oh! sure,” patton says and passes him over.

wyatt holds logan a little far away from his body, surveying him. logan surveys him back. wyatt tilts his head for a moment.

“he’ll suffice,” wyatt says decisively, hands logan back, and turns back to his breakfast.

“um,” patton says, juggling logan in his arms so that he’s comfortable. “thanks, i think?”

“you’re quite welcome,” wyatt says. he continues to eat his eggs.

“hey, patton,” virgil says. “merry christmas eve.”

“merry christmas eve,” patton says.

“can i get you anything?”

patton chews at his lip, and says, “hot cocoa/coffee?”

“you know the whole spiel, i’ll spare you,” virgil says.

“it’s a christmas miracle,” patton says.

“yeah, yeah,” virgil mutters, and pours him a mug.

“thanks,” patton says, accepting it. “is there a plan for the day?”

“cook a lot,” virgil says vaguely, “which we’ll eat throughout the day. um, christmas cookies, at some point.”

“oh, sugar, before i forget, you should bring in the movies from the car, so we can start the marathon,” meredith says.

“after breakfast?” wyatt says.

meredith pauses, sighs, and says, “all right, after breakfast.”

mark says, “patton, would you like some pancakes? i’m thinking of making some and only meredith’s taken me up on it.”

“oh, i’ll eat anything,” patton says quickly. “pancakes sound great, thank you.”

“but, yeah,” virgil says and shrugs. “christmases are pretty relaxed, around here. we tend to work for half the day in the diner, but since the vast majority of my family are no longer child laborers—”

“hey,” meredith says, jokingly indignant.

“—it’s probably mostly going to be me, down here, but who knows,” virgil says. “maybe nostalgia will work in my favor, and i’ll get some unpaid laborers, and i will be shot when the revolution comes, rightfully destroyed under the hammer and sickle. anyway, we close after lunch so we can do a big dinner, we open one present of our choosing before bed. not much else goes on, for christmas eve.”

patton thinks of his past christmas eves, crammed with making appearances at holiday parties and going to church and sitting through teas and brunches and cocktail parties with business partners of his father’s, women in the same societies as his mother.

you know what? he can take a lazy day and good food and christmas movies. that isn’t strenuous at all. he shouldn’t miss the rush of small talk that felt more like an invasive interview than anything—he’d hated it then, why is he missing it now?

“it’s the first christmas eve without a house here, though,” meredith says, cutting in, “so i’m afraid you’ll have to suffer through our various experiments on how to make all of us fit into virgil’s apartment with some degree of comfort.”

“oh, hey, speaking of comfort,” virgil says, and digs out the baby carrier, which meredith picks up before patton can even try to adjust logan to reach for it himself.

“thanks,” patton says, and carefully settles logan into the carrier. logan babbles his thanks, and patton digs around for the new pacifier he’s just gotten him, one of logan’s admittedly few christmas gifts—logan’s old one met a bit of a dismal end in the inn’s garbage disposal—and pops it into logan’s mouth.

for the first time since coming to sideshire, patton’s facing two days off work, and responsibilities, other than logan. it’s probably a good thing that he’s got built-in plans, because if he didn’t, he’d be sleeping for two straight days, only waking up for logan’s crying and maybe food, like, a hastily made peanut-butter-and-jelly or just whatever bag of junk food’s cheapest and closest.

and now, he’s got a freshly-made stack of pancakes (from scratch, no less) and people to fawn over his baby and, apparently, christmas movies to watch.

oh, huh. he hadn’t even thought about it just now—when was the last time he’d watched tv? when was the last time he’d lounged on the couch, and snacked on food, and watched tv? certainly not since logan was born. probably not even before that—patton had spent a lot of time in his room, during his pregnancy. it felt like whenever he ventured out to sit in the living room all he got were disappointed looks and irritated snaps.

months, patton decides. it had been months. maybe even a year.

so, with that strange feeling sitting heavy on his chest, he digs into his pancakes with maybe a bit more aggressive fervor than he usually does.

“thank you, mr. danes, this is delicious,” patton says, by rote, after he eats one bite. he’s still going to be polite, even if he feels funny about thinking about what he’s lost—even little things, like tv.

losing bigger things, like his parents, potentially for forever, make him feel things a lot worse than funny.

but he’s not going to think about that today or tomorrow, he tells himself firmly. after christmas, he’ll have six days between christmas and the new year. he’ll think about it and make a decision then, even if the thought roils his stomach and makes the pancakes a little more difficult to swallow down than usual.

“mark, please,” mark says, looking pleased with himself.

“good luck with that,” virgil says dryly. “i think the only reason i’m not mr. danes is because you didn’t find out my last name until a couple weeks after we met.”

“it’s polite.”

“it’s not a sin to call people by their first names,” virgil counters.

“it’s a sign of respect to call people by their title,” patton counters. “you know, for my elders.”

“ elders!” virgil squawks indignantly. “i’m not an elder, i’m twenty-three!”

“and i’m sixteen! therefore, you’re an elder.”

virgil mutters something along the lines of when you’re twenty-three i’m reminding you of this conversation, which is an absolutely mind-boggling concept. twenty-three. that had never sounded like a year patton would make it to. even seventeen seems practically insurmountable.

patton manages to say something along the lines of “yeah and when i’m twenty-three, you’ll still be my elder,” even while he’s thinking about it. twenty-three. logan would be… six, seven . walking, talking, reading, writing. in school. he’d know what foods he’d like and hate and have favorite subjects and least favorite subjects and if he preferred math to english or science to history and he’d have friends and maybe even a crush.

logan growing up— that’s what’s insurmountable. not this tiny little baby who, currently, seems to be estimating how far he can throw his pacifier and if papa will go and get it for him, pulling it up out of nowhere. patton would know if logan’s eyes, now that shade of brown that matches his, will have stuck around, if logan will favor him or christopher or both or maybe even neither. if he’ll be tall or short, athletic or academic. if he’ll grow up with or without grandparents.

logan can stay a baby for quite a while longer.

patton is saved from this particular line of thinking when freddie arrives and immediately pounces onto wyatt’s back with a holler of delight, which wyatt tolerates with what patton’s starting to think is his typical placidity.

freddie then proceeds to pepper him with questions, hiking up the leg of her jeans to proudly display a massive bruise on her knee that her parents exclaim over.

“can you check it?” she asks, but wyatt’s already patiently taking her knee between both hands, adjusting his glasses.

“does it hurt very badly when i do this?” wyatt says, pressing his fingers to it lightly.

“no.”

“how about now?”

“other than it just being more pressure? no.”

wyatt looks at her over his glasses, unamused. “you’re just doing this to see if, in my medical opinion, this might possibly be the biggest bruise i’ve ever seen, aren’t you.”

freddie grins at him beatifically.

“a choreographer wanted to do a number where i never touch the ground and they just hurl me in the air the whole time, from person to person,” freddie says. “i’ve got tons.”

wyatt sighs. “i anticipate more demonstrations forthwith.”

“no showing off battle wounds in my diner!” virgil shouts from the kitchen.

freddie pouts.

“my apartment,” virgil says, emerging, “is right there. do your weird world-record-seeking stuff away from the food.”

“world record?” patton asks.

“it’s freddie’s not-so-secret ambition to do a world record, of some kind,” virgil says. “i’m not even sure if she cares what it is.”

“preferably something with acrobatics, but i’m flexible—“

“no physical puns!”

“you never let me have fun!” freddie sulks, but she is lowering her arms from where she’d been about to interlock them behind her back, to do something incredibly weird with her body because her bones seem like they’re made of rubber, patton’s guessing.

“do you need ice?” mark asks freddie, frowning at her in concern and passing a hand over her hair. “you’ve been icing and bandaging everything properly, right?”

“...yep,” freddie says.

“winifred,” wyatt says, handily polishing off his eggs, “i will offer you an escape from parental smothering by means of asking if you would like to help me carry in christmas movies from my car.”

“oh, thank god,” freddie says.

“my name is wyatt,” he says. patton isn’t fully sure if he’s kidding.

“i know, big guy,” freddie says fondly, and meredith rolls her eyes even as her children both make their getaways.

“what on earth are we going to do with that girl,” she comments to mark.

“she’s run away to the circus, dear,” mark says, “i don’t think there’s much else for us to do.”

a pause.

“i’m going to send her back with a care package of ice packs and ace bandages, though,” mark decides. “just to be safe. it never hurts to have them.”

meredith smiles and rubs his arm. “that’s a good plan.”

parenting, patton thinks. just to be safe seems like a pretty integral part of parenting, planning too. it’s good advice, even if they didn’t mean for it to be advice. the danes’ seem like a good example to follow.

logan bops at his pacifier hard enough that it falls out of his mouth and onto the counter, with a delighted babble at the demonstration of gravity.

he guesses he’s got a while to go before he has to worry about all that, though.

patton has never seen the diner so crowded.

he and annabelle have managed to lay claim to one of the tiny tables in the corner—well, “lay claim,” they were there before any of these people—and patton watches.

they were going to watch a movie, but after all the siblings got there meredith ended up helping out a waitress who looked ready to tip over under the weight of all the plates she’d been carrying, and then one thing led to another, and now patton and annabelle were watching the danes family at work, like none of them had ever left.

meredith and freddie are a rapid-fire chatty team at the counter, with frequent gales of laughter from their customers.

essie and wyatt flit around the diner, taking orders and making well-timed quips (essie) or observations (wyatt.) wyatt doesn’t even need a pen—he just remembers everyone’s orders, down to the condiments.

silas, who is apparently much stronger than he looks, is toting the weight of two fully-loaded trays at any given time for the elder two siblings.

virgil and mark occasionally emerge from the kitchen, but patton can hear sizzling and knives chopping and the smell speaks for itself—spices and sugar and so much good food that patton’s considering—

“brunch?” annabelle asks.

“oh, thank god,” patton says, “it smells so good in here, i was getting hungry again.”

“do you wanna each get something and split it?” annabelle says. “just so we have some options.”

“that sounds great,” patton says. “um, is there any food you don’t want to get? like, allergies, personal preferences, that kind of thing? that seems like the easiest place to start.”

he and annabelle slowly whittle down the menu—it turns out annabelle’s very open to just about every food option—and annabelle waves enthusiastically to essie, who perks up and prances over to their table.

“hey,” she says brightly.

“hey,” annabelle says, smiling, and accepts the kiss that essie presses to her cheek.

“you guys doing okay?” essie asks, sticking her pen into the knot of brown hair piled on top of her head. “i kind of got sucked back in, sorry.”

“i’ve got patton to keep me company, we’re okay,” annabelle says, smiling.

“oh, right, good,” essie says. “patton, this exact thing happened last year and i felt so bad, annabelle was just sitting alone in a corner for half the day, but—“

“hey, it’s cool,” annabelle says. “i had a book to read.”

essie frowns. “still—”

“you’re spending time with your family,” annabelle says. “go fetch us some french toast and waffles and caffeine, and i’ll consider forgiving you.”

she’s clearly joking, and essie smiles, relieved.

“love you,” essie says.

“i love you too, babe,” annabelle says, and essie’s smile widens before she practically floats back to the counter to turn in their order.

“how long have you two been together?” patton asks annabelle.

“oh, years,” annabelle says. “seven or eight, give or take.”

“wow,” patton says softly.

“yeah,” annabelle says, and a goofy kind of grin spreads across her face. “she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, i can handle a morning watching her have fun with her family, y’know? it makes her happy. plus, i’d be useless doing anything with... that.”

“me, too,” patton says.

“and, i mean, now you’re here,” annabelle says. “so i’ve got someone to chat with, which is good, because i forgot to pack a book this year.”

patton laughs, mostly to be polite, and says, “i guess that is good, yeah. um, so, how did you and essie meet?”

“college,” annabelle says. “we were roommates, and then, well. one thing led to another. best random assignment i could have gotten.”

“that’s really awesome,” patton says sincerely, and that sets annabelle off on a “I Love My Fiancée” tangent which patton is really happy to listen to. essie is, according to annabelle, the sweetest, most thoughtful, caring, wonderful person that she’s ever met, and she’s so excited to spend the rest of her life with her, and she can only hope that she will stack up so that she’ll be able to deserve her, and when essie is approaching to drop off their food, she’s blushing, so she must have overheard, and annabelle grins.

“you really don’t need to be so shy,” annabelle quips, and essie blushes a little more.

“well, you don’t have to be so loudly happy about it,” essie mumbles.

“of course i’m going to be happy about you, why wouldn’t i be happy about you?” annabelle counters. “you’re going to be my wife.”

essie beams at the very idea, and, with another kiss on the cheek, she floats back toward the counter, where freddie clearly begins teasing her, complete with heart-clutching and dramatic fake swooning.

“so,” annabelle says, after patton takes a forkful of french toast, “what’s your story? virgil hasn’t really told any of us much.”

patton slows his chewing as much as he can, trying to formulate an answer. well, see, i got pregnant and ran away from home and now i’m torn between breaking my parents’ hearts or mine, depending on the choice i make?

“well,” patton begins cautiously. “i’m, um, it’s—well, i, um. it’s.”

“complicated?” annabelle asks. “i mean, it’s—y’know. me too.”

patton blinks.

“i’m from texas,” annabelle elaborates. “small-town texas. um. you can probably fill in the stereotypes from there. i fully cut off contact with my parents about four years ago.”

“oh,” patton says, and it’s like the word is punched out of him. “i—i’m really sorry.”

annabelle shrugs. “it is what it is,” she says. “anyway. the danes’ have been great. i’ve been coming to holidays with them since i graduated college and, you know. came out to my parents.”

patton chews his lip, and admits, “mine’s not quite the same situation, but—but close.”

“yeah?”

“yeah.”

he isn’t sure if he should say more—he has a vague feeling he should probably elaborate, but the idea of having a breakdown in the diner again is. not his idea of a fun christmas eve morning.

“that’s rough, dude,” annabelle says. “um, esther’s the emotionally capable one, so, sorry, but. you want some waffles?”

patton snorts.

“yeah,” he says. “okay, sure. i’ll have some waffles.”

⁂

"okay, so, you wanna pick, lo?” patton says to logan, holding up the cookie cutters in front of logan, but far enough away that he won’t grab at it. “stars or angels.”

logan considers his options. then, making a cooing noise, he very clearly reaches for the shiny silver star cookie-cutter.

“good choice!” patton cheers, and leans in to kiss logan on the forehead. “stars it is. it’s a shame you don’t have teeth to eat these with.”

he puts his finger in logan’s hand, so he has something to grab at, and sets the cookie cutter out of sight. logan then proceeds to drag patton’s finger toward his mouth, just to chew at it. as patton expected.

“oh, that’s a good idea,” meredith says, and then holds up a christmas tree and a reindeer cookie cutter in logan’s line of sight. with his free hand that isn’t currently holding patton’s finger to his mouth, he reaches for the tree.

and so begins a parade of people consulting the baby on cookie shape choices. granted, sometimes logan doesn’t always make a choice—at silas, logan makes a disdainful noise and starts chewing on patton’s finger with even more fervor, seeming to glower at him—but he does reach for quite a few choices, with no pattern that patton can decipher.

at one point, he gets a bit frustrated that he can’t hold any of the things that are being held in front of him, so virgil digs up two blunt, plastic cookie cutters, which means patton is free to wash his hands as logan starts mouthing at a snowflake-shaped cookie cutter, the mitten-shaped one cast aside.

now that the lunch rush is done, the diner’s officially closed for christmas eve and christmas, which means that it’s time for the danes’ to start making christmas cookies. they’re like a well-oiled machine—there’s tons of home-made sugar cookie and gingerbread dough, with essie and freddie making frosting together, freddie occasionally flicking dyed frosting toward her siblings, and essie would only sometimes catch her wrist with a kind of scolding laugh.

virgil, with a streak of purple across his cheek and a clump in his hair, helps patton and annabelle figure out how to best utilize the dough they have, so that they’ll have maximum cookie and minimum scraps.

all the while, christmas music plays, filling up any noise that isn’t taken over by conversations amongst the danes’. and there are conversations. listen, patton’s used to a lot of conversations echoing around a room, but he’s used to people in his parents’ world with their quiet, politely pitched voices, so that their gossip and snide commentary wouldn’t carry to their targets.

the danes’ have no such concerns.

their loud, booming laughs and indignant squawks and clamorous chatter and roaring responses and impassioned, ranting interruptions could maybe be heard from outside, let alone within the same room. it’s cacophonous, rowdy chaos.

any unwritten, strict rules of conversation that patton’s been preached to have been cheerfully thrown out the window. he can jump from conversation to conversation as he pleases, and no one seems to mind that he does because everyone’s doing the same thing. he can join mark and meredith’s debate over what constitutes a good christmas cookie, then chime in on his opinion on a book that he, annabelle, and wyatt have all read, and back up virgil when freddie pokes fun at him.

even virgil and silas, whose argument patton remembers vividly, are bumping elbows, and silas tousles virgil’s hair as he traps him under his arm, but it’s less like a dangerous, harmful thing and more like sibling squabbling, especially considering freddie joins right in by leaping on silas and yelling “YOUNGEST SIBLINGS ALLIANCE!” and essie trying to yank her off while proclaiming about the twinly treaty, while wyatt watches calmly from the sidelines and mark and meredith break them up with the weary, well-meaning tones of parents who have done this a million times before.

patton’s never seen anything so different; he’s an only child, from such a different world, and chris, his closest friend, is an only child, too. siblings are so strange. there are no manners. there aren’t any lingering hurt feelings. it’s almost like family time out of a movie, except it’s so much more chaotic and messy.

patton loves it.

as the cookies bake, the entire family works together to start decorating the tree, placed proudly in the center of the diner. none of the matchy-matchy, expensive, fancy ornaments that patton was never allowed to touch. cardboard boxes full of past childhood ornaments made during school, which erupt into various stories and reminiscing about the sideshire schoolteachers, cheesy souvenir ornaments from the various travels of every danes, including some new ones that mean lots of questions about what they’d been doing there, a popcorn-and-cranberry garland that essie, annabelle, and silas are still making even as wyatt drapes it round and round the tree.

somehow, the whole gaudy thing works; glinting with glittery ornaments and two strands of lights, it’s visible from the outside, when patton obligingly steps out to check and see. he helps everyone stack their presents under the tree—it turns out, the danes' have some color-coding going for their gifts. gold wrapping paper means they're presents for mrs. danes, silver for mr. danes, green for wyatt, red for essie, pink for annabelle, black for silas, yellow for freddie, purple for virgil. so patton ends up kind of organizing the presents so it's like a color wheel around the tree; everyone's presents, all together so they can just go to their color instead of hunt every present ringing the tree.

even as disorganized as they seem, it’s clear that the danes’ are a well-oiled machine, because by the time everyone decrees the tree satisfactory the cookies are cooled enough to decorate.

“i’ve never actually decorated cookies like this before,” patton says, as virgil passes him a piping bag full of icing—they’re splitting up all the icing into tiny bowls and piping bags, so everyone’s got their own little icing station. everyone's already wearing an old meredith's branded apron, from before virgil took over the diner.

“what, with a piping bag?” virgil asks. "it's pretty easy, once you get the hang of it, you can practice on some of that wax paper if you want—"

"no, i mean," patton says, "we usually order christmas cookies to send to people. like, caterers or bakeries usually take care of it. i've never actually gotten to make my own christmas cookies."

there is dead silence around the prepping station in the diner's kitchen. then:

" what," freddie breathes out, disbelievingly. "never? never ever?!"

"never ever," patton agrees. "i mean, maybe when i was really tiny, but—"

"you've never even made a ginger you?" essie says, incredulous. "or—a gingerbread house? not even one of the ones that come in kits?"

patton briefly imagines his mom's reaction if he brought in some cheap, pre-made gingerbread house to assemble. to make a mess, in her kitchen? even if she never actually used the kitchen, it’s still hers, and—

patton shakes his head, and there's an explosion of questions— have you never decorated a cookie EVER, do you even eat gingerbread, do you bake stuff usually—?

"well, i've baked stuff before, but," patton says, and swats at virgil when he snorts.

"you burned 'em, didn't you?"

patton huffs, but doesn't deny it. because, well. he did. it's really probably for the best that the professionals were in charge of these christmas cookies, because he definitely would have messed them up somehow.

"what do you eat on christmas?" silas demands.

"um," patton says, scratching at his temple, "whatever catering that people have got, on christmas eve, and my parents usually have a party on christmas that has these amazing apple tarts, i swear they're the best part of christmas—"

"well, at least there's some kind of traditional dessert," meredith says.

"not all families are so food-centric, dear," mark says.

"well, i know, but." meredith says. " still. no christmas cookies, ever?"

"well, that does it, then," freddie says decisively. "you get first pick."

there's a rush of agreement from everyone—well, silas is silent, but he doesn't disagree—and patton tilts his head quizzically.

"get a dozen of these, whichever ones you want," virgil says, gesturing to the huge amount of cookies on the cooling rack.

"surely you're going to make a gingerbread self," wyatt says, and there's a burst of recommendations of what cookies he should get, pointing to the best specimens of each cookie shape, and patton just kind of ends up going for a little bit of everything—stars, trees, a reindeer, an angel, an ornament, a snowman, a bell, and yes, a gingerbread man—and stares, bemused, at the tools virgil sets in front of him.

"um," patton says, and virgil laughs—not in a mean way, but still enough to make patton flush a little.

"okay," he says. "so, when you hold a piping bag, there are a couple grips you can go with, and it mostly depends on the kind of decoration you're doing... "

and so begins patton's lessons in frosting christmas cookies.

mark shows him how to best ensure that there aren't any air bubbles in the icing.

meredith tells him about how to mix together icing on wax paper to get the exact color he wants, like he's a painter or something.

wyatt, with his steady surgeon's hands, shows him how to ice beautiful, delicate-looking flowers.

essie shows him how to best press down sprinkles without getting stray bits stuck where he doesn't want them.

annabelle, laughingly, demonstrates the best way to push his hair out of his eyes without accidentally smearing pastel blue frosting across his forehead.

freddie demonstrates how to throw cookies like ninja-style throwing stars, but that's less a decoration lesson and more of a way to directly target someone who teases her about her messy cookies.

even silas shows him how to use a toothpick to get even, straight lines.

and virgil helps him fix his mistakes, and helps him move things when his hands are too sticky to move anything without getting it messy too, and even helps break down a cookie so he can make a little gingerbread baby, for logan.

and even if patton's icing jobs look messy in comparison to mark's practiced work, or wyatt's even, steady lines, they fit right in with freddie's colorful, smudged ones, and annabelle's, which she mostly requests essie's help with.

"it's really more about the fun of the thing," meredith says, when she sees him looking between wyatt's and his own. "did you have fun?"

patton grins and nods, and she gives him a thumbs up.

"well then," she says decisively. "i mean, they're all going to have the same thing happen to them. and even if they're messy, i promise you they'll taste just as good. go on."

so patton picks up a star, the first one he'd iced—with shaky little blue swirls and silver glitter—and crunches into it.

it's just crisp enough on the outside and soft on the inside, with sugary, yummy icing, and, well. even if patton's icing might be a bit ugly, he can't deny that meredith's right.

so he picks up a blank star, and he starts icing again.

⁂

“logan,” patton says, around a mouthful of gingersnap cookie, “it seriously is a shame that you don’t have teeth to eat these.”

logan, who’s fixated on the television—virgil guesses all the colors and sounds must be super interesting, to a baby—doesn’t seem to care very much.

"these are the best christmas cookies i’ve ever had, ever,” patton says sincerely. “thank you.”

“you’ve said that a million times,” meredith says, amused. “you’re welcome.”

she passes him another as she speaks. honestly, virgil would kind of start interceding, but his mom has the same “must feed” gene that he does, except she doesn’t pay as much attention to things like nutritional value. he doesn’t blame her; patton’s wearing an old sweater that’s been handed down to him, and it's big enough that it makes him look pretty scrawny.

some danes’ (silas, mark, and wyatt) are in the kitchen, making an endless parade of appetizers and snacky-type things that are fighting for space on virgil's coffee table, shoved to the side of the room, whereas others (meredith, freddie, essie, and annabelle) are parked in virgil’s living room with him and patton to watch the collection of christmas movies wyatt had lugged in from his car.

currently, ralphie is fantasizing about going blind from soap poisoning as freddie mouths dramatically along with his parents’ wailing, she and virgil parked beside each other on the ground. freddie doesn’t move too much, though, because she’d loudly complained at essie until she’d started playing with her hair. so essie had obliged, one hand poking out from the blanket she's tangled under with annabelle, brushing her fingers absently through freddie’s hair.

his mom’s in an armchair, which leaves patton lying down on the loveseat so that logan can get some tummy time, heads turned so that they can watch tv. patton keeps absently running his hand up and down logan’s back—well, admittedly, there isn’t much to run his hand up and down, he’s a baby, and a somewhat small baby for his age, at that—and virgil can see logan’s eyes, reflecting the light of the tv.

virgil notices out of the corner of his eyes that he’s seeing less and less of patton’s eyes. they go half-lidded, then closing before occasionally opening, and then—

“patton,” he says softly, just as an experiment, and patton doesn’t so much as stir. it does, however, draw his mother’s attention.

“oh, poor thing’s all tuckered out, isn’t he?” his mom comments, in a suitable undertone.

“yeah, he’s been pretty strung-out lately,” virgil murmurs, and, hesitantly, gets to his feet, hunting for a blanket he’s got stashed somewhere. and then a little odd dance ensues; he puts the blanket over patton without covering logan up too much, and then, carefully, ever so carefully, he lifts logan from patton’s chest and secures him in his arms.

“i didn’t want him to fall,” he explains to his mom, as he tugs the blanket the rest of the way up, to cover patton.

“probably a smart choice,” his mom says. “i could take him, if—“

“no, that’s okay,” virgil says, looking down at logan as he adjusts his hold; logan seems to cuddle closer, and virgil stares as logan lets out a squeaky, strange little yawn.

“you’re sleepy too, huh?” he asks, and logan’s tongue pokes out, just a little, just enough that something in virgil’s heart feels like it’s swelling from the sheer adorableness of it.

so virgil settles on the ground in front of the loveseat, and keeps his hold on logan, watching as his eyes slide shut, too.

“strung out?” his mom asks, and virgil would shrug, if he wasn’t holding a baby that’s slowly falling asleep.

“logan’s got colic,” virgil explains in an undertone, “which we’ll probably hear, soon enough, and he’s been working a lot.” a beat, and then, “i think he’s having trouble sleeping too.”

honestly, virgil’s pretty relieved that he’s fallen asleep; the bags under his eyes have been growing deeper and deeper, and his requests for caffeine have started to slide from jokingly desperate to actually desperate.

his mother tsks and murmurs “poor thing” and virgil can practically see her plotting before his very eyes. you know what? not the worst thing in the world. patton could afford some motherly spoiling during his first christmas away from his family.

hadn’t that kind of been the intention when he’d asked patton and logan to join the family christmas, anyway?

and so his mother plots, and logan snoozes, and essie and annabelle snuggle, and freddie acts along, and patton sleeps.

and keeps sleeping.

the fact that danes’ and colicky logan keep quiet for as long as they do is a miracle. they ensue in furiously silent rock-paper-scissors matches to see whose movie of choice is played next, and when they do speak, it’s in whispers. and logan—honestly, virgil’s not sure if he’s ever been so quiet for such a long stretch of time in his whole life. he’s quiet during the grinch that stole christmas, and love actually, and it happened on fifth avenue, and he fusses a little during the santa clause, but it’s easily enough fixed. well. with his dad’s help.

but patton’s nap is starting to move into full day’s sleep by the time his dad is loading in home alone, and logan lets out a piteous wail, and patton starts awake, hand going to where logan was lying on his chest, and virgil quickly turns so that patton can see logan in his arms.

“oh, hey,” patton mumbles, reaches for logan, and gets to his feet. “hey, hey, hey, you feeling okay?”

“we changed him, earlier,” virgil says, and then patton seems to notice that the sun has set, and he startles again.

“i,” he says, and shakes himself. “sorry, virgil, i can’t remember where your bathroom is—?”

virgil points, and patton goes.

“after this one, i think it’ll be dinnertime,” his dad says thoughtfully.

“finally, i’m starving,” silas says. “did we have to delay it for so long?”

“don’t be mean, silas,” essie chides gently. “we’ve waited while you took naps.”

“yeah, when we were four,” silas says.

“silas matthew,” their father scolds wearily, and silas scowls, fixating his stare on the tv screen, effectively ignoring the rest of them. but he doesn’t shift away when essie nudges him, then puts a hand on his arm, as if to keep him on her left side, annabelle to her right.

well, essie’s always been able to get through to silas when none of them ever have. virgil guesses it’s the twin thing.

if silas stops being an asshole for one day, it’ll be a christmas miracle.

⁂

patton feels... fuzzy.

that’s the best way he knows how to put it, or, at least, it’s the best way he can come up with right now. he isn’t sure how long he’d slept—it had to have been hours—but such a huge amount of sleep at an unexpected time has patton feeling slow, and dazed, and stupid, but that that last bit isn’t too unusual.

the danes’ have kindly—what else is new, they’ve been nothing but kind—been politely quiet about how long it takes patton to catch up to their conversations, or understand their jokes, or tune in to their requests to pass coasters or if he wants a bite of the appetizers they’re snacking on as they wind down home alone.

patton’s claimed the floor. they’d tried to get him to stay on the loveseat, when he came back from feeding logan, but he’d refused. he’d monopolized it all day, and really, if he fell asleep again then patton would be kissing goodbye to any ragged semblance of a sleep schedule that he still had.

so patton’s on the floor, and mr. and mrs. danes have taken over the loveseat, with virgil beside him on the ground and annabelle in the armchair and wyatt examining freddie’s ankle flexibility, or something, on the couch, freddie peppering him with questions all the while.

essie and silas... huh. patton actually has no idea where essie and silas have got off to. last patton knew, essie had gone back to help silas make some adult-only drinks (”absolutely none for either of you!” meredith had said, clearly not aware of patton’s history with drinking adult drinks since he was about thirteen) about... well, half an hour ago, maybe, and they haven’t been back since.

it’s been easy to be distracted, though, because he’s pretty sure that mrs. danes’ favorite drink is apparently spiked eggnog, and she’s certainly had enough to show it, a pretty pink blush high in her pale cheeks. she’s leaning over, again, cooing softly at logan, who babbles gleefully and reaches for her understated, dully glinting jewelry.

“little hands,” she coos, poking him in the midst of his chubby little palms, and logan babbles, smiling, as she squishes her hands gently between her fingers.

“little feets! itty bitty baby feets!”

logan squeals as she squishes his feet much in the same way, kicking, and patton doesn’t even realize he’s beaming wide until meredith reaches over to gently squish his cheek between her fingers, too, in a move that’s so thoughtlessly, habitually maternal, so casual in its kindness and affection, it strikes patton dumb.

affection’s been hard to come by, for a lot of his life. affection gives without expectation or later price to pay has been even rarer, maybe even nonexistent. even after his time in sideshire, where it seems to overflow, it overwhelms him.

“and,” she says, turning her attention back to the baby, “a... little... noooose!”

logan proceeds making delightful baby noises, and even tries for a few claps of his hands, the way patton’s been showing him, and patton leans in to gently clap above him again, just to show him.

“yay, logan!” he cheers quietly. “yay! can you say yay?”

he knows it’s too early to except logan to talk, but really, yay isn’t that complicated of a word. it’s just one syllable, and really, logan’s babbling in semi-recognizable syllables now anyway.

“how about a laugh?” patton prods. “you’re so close, can i get a laugh?”

logan’s gotten so close to laughing, and he’s on track to laugh, even if it’d be early it’s not unheard of early, so maybe this’ll do it. he’d love it if he heard his son’s first laugh tonight.

he’s such a smart baby, patton thinks, swelling with pride. really, logan might just be the smartest baby that’s ever lived. he’s pretty sure that every parent thinks that, but really, patton’s pretty sure that he’s the right one here.

patton, so overcome by paternal happiness, sweeps logan up into his arms and waltzes his way to his feet, spinning, as he presses noisy kisses into logan’s cheeks, mwahmwahmwahmwahmwah! as logan shrieks and squeals and patton spins, so full of love for him, and—

and in the midst of his spin, he looks at just the right time, he glimpses a clear shot to virgil’s balcony.

well, it’s really too teeny to be a full balcony, like his balcony back at his parents’ house, so it’s really only enough space for two-ish people and a near-indestructible potted fern. it’s more of a mezzanine, or whatever the mini-version of a balcony is called.

and there are two people clustered together. silas, his arms wrapped around his stomach, and even in the low light and the distance patton can see that his face is achingly vulnerable, as he bows his head, and essie, equally obviously, empathetic, reaches out her hands to put on his shoulders, and patton just barely sees a snatch of essie pulling her brother into a hug, holding him tight, and that’s it, that’s all patton sees before he continues twirling with his son.

he doesn’t look again. it’s what he’d want, if he was silas. besides, that seems like a pretty private family thing.

⁂

patton’s sure he’s never had such a well-fed, delicious christmas eve in his life, and he hasn’t even eaten dinner yet .

everything looks absolutely mouthwatering—it’s the traditional kind of christmas day meal that he usually has at his parents’, turkey and mashed potatoes and rolls and that kind of thing, except the danes version has clear deviations: green bean casserole, which he’s never had, he doesn’t think, sweet potato casserole with brown sugar and pecans on top, fresh cranberry sauce instead of canned, homemade gravy instead of store-bought, corn made off the cob instead of canned.

they’d dragged together some tables in the diner rather than attempt to engineer virgil’s tiny table to get nine people (plus a baby) to fit, so they're all seated beside the christmas tree. he’s got his back to the doorway leading to virgil’s apartment, so he’d be able to steal away and tend to logan faster without disturbing anyone, if logan needed it, and he probably would. he’d been so quiet when patton had napped, he’s sure that his schedule’s gotten pretty messed up, too. logan is parked in the carrier, on a booth table, clearly visible to everyone at the table.

well, really, it's mostly for patton's benefit, he's pretty sure, because once he looks away from his son to start paying attention to the conversations around him, he looks back right in time to see meredith looking at him knowingly.

patton smiles, sheepishly, and she nods, as if to say i get it. well, she's had five kids. she probably gets it more than he does. actually, she definitely gets it more than he does. patton's absolutely clueless.

but before either of them can say anything, mark gently taps a spoon against his plastic cup—it doesn't provide as clear a ting-ting-ting as the crystal-cut glasses his parents would use—and everyone quiets down.

mark lifts his cup.

"another year gone," he says. "it's been wonderful to see you all in town again. now that we're all getting older, it hits me each and every year how precious this time is. of course, i'm proud of you— all of you—are going out there and making your own life, but i can't help but think about how bittersweet it is that family time is getting fewer and far between."

"aw, dad," freddie mumbles.

" but, " mark continues. "again. i am very proud. of all of you."

he meets eyes with everyone at the table, and, after he's inclined his head ever so slightly at patton, patton stares down at his empty plate.

not you, he scolds himself. of course he's not proud of you, he's barely known you for six days and honestly, what have you done to make anyone proud of you?

it doesn't stop the rebellious little flare of warmth that he feels, though.

"the past few days have been wonderful. i have cherished this time together. i love being your dad—" annabelle looks choked up—"whether you're with me or if you're out making your own life. so," he says, and lifts a glass. "i'll keep the sappy stuff short, as we have this fantastic meal laid out before us. so. merry christmas and a happy new year, everyone."

"merry christmas," everyone rumbles, lifting their glass, and patton belatedly does so too. mark lifts up the platter of cut turkey, and meredith helps herself, before doing the same for him, and the passing of food begins.

patton's plate just about overflows.

"you know you can get seconds," virgil says to him an undertone, amused, and patton flushes as he attempts to stack his rolls back from where they've toppled off his plate.

"everything looks so good," he says defensively.

"again," virgil says, who really has no room to talk, his food's about to spill over the edges of his plate too, "seconds."

patton decides to do the mature thing: he sticks out his tongue at virgil, shoves one of his rolls into his mouth practically whole, and then tries not to choke on his overlarge mouthful.

virgil stifles his laughter into his glass of wine.

patton's right to have so much on his plate, because everything is amazing. patton's world full of fiddly food, more about the aesthetic and the finery than the actual taste, would have never dreamed of having food like this, but honestly, everyone might have been a bit more cheerful if they'd stooped to eating food that was prepared in a diner.

if he'd had these warm, fluffy dinner rolls. if he'd had the fragrant, fruity, frankly yummy fresh cranberry sauce he gets to smear over his rolls. if he'd had these buttery, yummy mashed potatoes with a pool of gravy that he can soak up with his bread. if he'd had the opportunity to try green bean casserole with the crumbly little french onion bits on top. if he'd had sweet potato casserole, which patton goes back for seconds before he's even finished his first serving. if he'd had this moist, good turkey, rather than the tradition of his father having first carve and then it being ferried away for the servants to do the actual carving.

if he'd had people who, even as they gently teased him about taking more food, loaded more on his plate when he was looking away, if he'd had people who were earnest about wanting to know what he'd thought, if he'd had people who were as welcoming of him being the way he is, if he'd had people who were less critical and more accepting, then maybe he would...

patton firmly redirects his thoughts. i'm deciding after christmas. after christmas. pay attention to what's happening now.

and, in what patton's starting to think is typical of danes style, there's a lot to pay attention to; granted, there aren't a ton of conversations happening because of the spectacular, delicious food, but there are still a couple peppering the table that jump freely from topic to topic. there's also a lot of wordless gestures for certain foods (the rolls make quite a few rotations around the table) and salt and pepper and so on, and every once in a while someone will get up to refill their drink and will be met with a flurry of requests, but for the most part, it's... quiet. easy.

warm, patton thinks. it's warm. not just temperature-wise—it is nice and toasty in the diner—but it's warm in the sense of how the danes' interact with each other. there are a lot of smiles and compliments on the food and conversation, and... and at this point on a typical holiday, patton's shoulders would be tensed up, waiting for some kind of comment, except he's never made it this far into the holiday without that kind of comment and stop stop stop.

there is one thing, without fail, that makes patton feel better. so patton gets to his feet and shuffles over to check on logan, who looks close to falling asleep, pacifier solidly in his mouth, and patton reaches out to run a thumb gently down his cheek.

"you okay?" he asks him softly, and logan blinks at him slowly once, twice, and patton feels the corner of his lip quirk up.

"yeah, you're okay," he says, in the same soft tone, relieved. and you will be okay, i promise. no matter what happens, i'll make sure you're okay.

"is he good?" comes from behind him, making patton jump. he turns back to virgil, who's looking at him quizzically, still seated at the table.

"yeah, he's good," patton says, and smiles wryly at him. "i mean, no telling how long it'll last, but—"

"yeah, he's good," virgil says, and cocks his head. "he looks ready to fall asleep, doesn't he?"

"yeah," patton says, and takes a breath. he'd been right, seeing logan does make him feel better. "i should probably leave him to it."

"he'll need you, soon enough," virgil says, so patton goes and sits back down at his spot at the table.

it has calmed him down—it's like just taking a second with logan has provided the same effect of a whole, calming day at his parents', not just a few seconds.

so patton throws himself back into the conversation, and keeps glancing over at logan, who even offers him a wave or a noise every once in a while, and it feels... right. it just feels right .

#my post #text #the sideshire files #my fic #my fanfic #sanders sides #love light gleams

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