#but they're only fooling themselves

[knickknacksandallthat]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

i hope you and kevin (i wonder if he ever goes trick or treating with jean and jeremy) have a wonderful day

HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO YOU TOO, anon!!! I hope your treats were tasty and your night was both spooky and satisfying 😉

Hmm, as for Kerejean, this is what I picture:

Kevin and Jean both view the holiday as pointless and inane. Neither believes (for the most part) in apparitions or otherworldly specters, nor did they ever celebrate such frivolity in the Nest. So the holiday seems both ridiculous and over-commercialized to them. Kevin is confused about the extreme obsession with costumes, Jean finds the over-the-top amount of black and orange decor distasteful, and both abhor the amount of candy given out and consumed.

But Jeremy.

Jeremy, in my head, is the Heidi Klum of the AFTG universe. He's inviting everyone he knows over for a Boo Bash. He's organizing the entire neighborhood to do an adult trick or treat, with mini bottles of alcohol and edibles and flavored lube packets exchanged. He's got dry ice fog seeping out of his frankenpunch. His entire place has been transformed into a haunted house with sound effects and all. His candy buffet's color scheme is Trojan-themed. His Halloween outfits range from slutty to scary to disgusting and he wears glitter and fishnets and fake blood and fairy wings and vampire teeth and monster fur and zombie-peeling skin equally. He LIVES for this holiday.

And his boyfriends...well. Who are they to deny him?

They follow his strict Halloween movie schedule for each day of the month that they can barely squeeze in with their schedules, but somehow still manage to each year. Kevin holds perfectly still as Jeremy paints fake blood on his face next to the vampire teeth he got him, and thinks at least the drinks will be good. Jean dips apples into candy, chocolate, and toffee at Jeremy's direction and thinks at least this costume allows me to see that gorgeous strip of skin on his lower back.

But most of all, they watch him flit around the party, welcoming an insane number of guests in, turning up his Halloween playlist to a decibel loud enough to shake the rafters, bobbing for "poisoned" apples, and shoving frankly unhealthy amounts of candy into his face and think...

...at least he's happy.

#Both give a long-suffering sigh when Jeremy announces its Halloween season #which is his official name for october #but they're only fooling themselves #they love this boy and would give him anything #serotonin floods their brains each time Jeremy chatters on about what they're going to be this year for Halloween #and if they catch each other's eye as they suffer through hours of standing on ladders to put that blasted haunted house decor up #or curse as they spill an enormous bag of plastic spiders all over the stairs #neither of them mentions it #kerejean #lovely people #thanks for the ask anon! #this hc is now living rent-free in my head #kevin day #jeremy knox #jean moreau #aftg #all for the game #psst he also loves couples costumes #it makes kevin and jean cringe each time but they can't deny him

[mementoasts]

i've drawn more fake plushies (they are fake) (not real) (please don't be mad at me 🥺)

#at least im only posting the plushies by themselves here and not the fake merch announcement pic i slapped on twitter LOL #if it were april fools day i'd make that sucker look VERY real. but today i was just bored 😭 doing these sorta redraws are therapeutic #they're based pretty much on the hypmic sanrio plushies (fun fact i have a jakurai one :3 i love him) #rgg #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza #kiryu kazuma #majima goro #kazumaji #the void given form

[marypsue]

One of my favourite things in writing is to take a character who takes themselves very, very seriously, and then just have the narrative and the other characters around them constantly highlight how ridiculous that is.

#i don't think it was WRONG to come up with tlb sequels focused on the frog brothers #i do think that treating them as Serious Early-Aughts Action-Horror Heroes is a deeply deeply silly prospect and should be handled as such #note that this is only funny if the character in question is in fact taking themselves too seriously #if this is someone who is like 'actually i do think my opinions and feelings matter and i have worth as a human person' #then taking the piss out of them for believing that is not funny. it's just cruel #however. if they're more like 'actually yes i am a Uniquely Brilliant Genius and could never be fooled> #<by this totally trustworthy demon I summoned!' #or 'it's probably morally forgivable for me to experiment on my human psychiatric patients because my lady love dumped me' #or even 'i definitely look like a total badass right now'

[howthesleeplesswander]

@magnifiico liked this post for a starter!

((these two are so excited to get at each other asfdjlsd our hearts could never have been ready T~T))

"Mi rey?" Amaya's voice, soft as it was, still echoed in the king's cavernous office, joined by the muted thud of the ornate door as she closed it behind her. Immediately, her gaze found Magnifico ever-poised at his work station across the room; and immediately, the stern expression she'd worn on her way up the stairs softened with affection. A sigh fluttered down to her shoes: mostly fond, but with a whisper of exasperation in its final notes.

"I understand why you have such...rigorous qualifications for your apprentice," she began as she crossed the room, "but it really creates quite a spectacle when the candidates you've rejected are seen fleeing the castle in tears."

Admittedly, the childishly dramatic crocodile-tears of the young lady whom Amaya had just escorted off the castle grounds were proof of being an ill fit for the position. Still, a delicate grimace sullied the curve of the queen's lips by the time she stood beside her king.

"What happened this time?" she asked, gently expectant.

#wish spoilers #magnifiico #《⭒✩⭒ || interaction: magnificent queen (amaya) 》 #《⭒✩⭒ || bond: if happiness was a tangible thing it would be you (magnifiico) 》 #YOUR BOY ISN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO'S AN EXCITED PUPPY 😭 #these two are so cute and so in love i'm gonna die #us talking about the angst we wanna write for them while meanwhile they're like #“no fuck u we're gonna be cute af and you can't stop us” #it's true: we can't and we don't want to alsjfdldfj #SUCH SWEET BBIES ;; #this starter spawned from me remembering the guy who interviewed before asha being a total wreck and assuming #no way that's the only time that's happened XD #not to say magnifico did anything ofc! #i'm sure plenty of candidates were too nervous and made a fool of themselves or were just hysterical from not getting the apprenticeship lo #totally up to you how you wanna swing it! uwu/ #thanks for requesting a starter my darling! >w< ❤️

[icewindandboringhorror]

I still very loathe the Media Trope of ‘’cold genius man doesn’t feel emotions and never has relationships... UNTIL.. one random relatively bland Preddy Woman comes along and warps his entire personality and ability to think, his heart has grown and his seeming asexuality has evaporated, he is now Normal :)” or whatever like... AS a walking generic hermit archetype myself.. we would NOT act like that .... just let people be detached weirdos in peace, you cowards .. OR, don’t bother to write one in the first place if you find us too boring to exist realistically in our natural state lol.. pathetic 

#the only exception to this is its okay if he develops some pesudo-romantic psychologial fixation on one of his long suffering male sidekicks #or assistants or whatever (since this character acrhetype ALWAYS has some sort of like Straight Man Every Man helper to follow #him around and be an audience stand in. sometimes multiple like a whole team of assistants. sometimes just one etc.) #like a strange not-entirely-romance-but-mutualy-unhealthy-comedic-codependence w someone you worked w 25+ yrs COULD be in character. sure. #ASIDE from that one exception though..... just keep them aromantic and asexual.. why would someone who has been that way for their #entire fucking life suddenly be like ''well I've known this woman three weeks but she's really hot! whoops!'' #''guess I'm going to act completely out of character! sometimes booba so booby it fundametally alters the dna of me personality. you know ho #w it is'' .. like shut up.. explode #It's not that I project personally onto these characters (writers are bad at writing them and they're generally annoying as shit) BUT just #like... coming FROM the perspective OF a cold detached ''robot'' seeming hermit freak.. like textbook scholar wizard man locked #away in a tower somewhere type personality... You just watch shows sometimes and you can SEE that the writers are trying to write #the Character Archetype that is your actual realworld personality and you're just like 'we do NOT fucking act like that!!!' lol #you know ? like .. i don't actually care about the characters themselves but more just.. the principle of the thing. staying true to what #has been set up. You can't be like ''oh yeah this is your typical cold detached hermit weirdo with zero interest in human relationships for #the most part blah blah blah'' and then 5 minutes later be like ''WAIT GUYS!! LOOK! they're still NORMAL! look they love booba #too!!! haha hashtag Relatable!!'' .. what have you done to him.. you've massacred the archtype.. cowardly fool #Also I'm referencing them as male because this character archtetype is usually male but the same thing can apply for other gendered versions #of the archetype. it's ALWAYS annoying. no matter what it is lol. GOD AND IT'S even worse when they're supposed to be like hundreds or thous #ands of years old like.. some sort of supernatural being who's ''above it all'' because they've seen the world's cycles for so long #and blah blah and then it's like ''omg.. suddenly into romance.. for some reason all 900 years of my life nobody has ever been good #enough but YOU.. random ass person who I met 30 minutes ago and are completely average in every way or maybe you have like one #special power or are smart or something but apparently somehow I've lived 900 years without ever meeting a single other smart person #or whatever but WOW.. you... instant soulamtes.. I am no longer aromantic and asexual. I am also no longer smart.'' #at least if it's a human with a normal lifespan you can be like 'well they were only 30. maybe they genuinely did just have their first #sexul awakening' or something but.. you're telling me like.. 900 years??? 1000 years?? and NOW they're like 'whooa!!' lol #Which obviously all aroace people are different.. all people with autism or schizoid pd or any other mental illnesses that can sometimes #lend people towards that type of 'weird hermit' archetype are all different. plenty of these people WILL have relationships and sex and desi #re those things. but it's like.. if you are OBVIOUSLY setting out to write that one VERY specific archetype within the broader archetype #then GO ALL THE WAY!! you cant have someone be like HALF-detached partial-hemrit sometimes-maybe-genuis or whatever #or I guess you can but like. it should be that way from the beginning. it's the random sudden shift in personality thats jarring

[frommybookbook]

Sure, kids, these are perfectly normal ways for a boss and secretary to look at each other.

#perry mason #della street #just a smattering of adoring looks from season 2 #these idiots #the only people they're fooling are themselves

[wolf-skins]

nvm the americans in the notes going “i live in america you don’t want privatized healthcare” are normies and fine it’s the fucking americans going LISTEN HERE YOU FUCKS

americans stop pretending you’re the main characters in the story and eat my entire ass

#i want to have empathy for the story they gave but to start off like a total wanker talking down to us like ontarians haven #t been freaking out about this and talking about it over and over for years now is disgusting #we don't need you to increase the fucking font size and yell at us like we're children we fucking know we don't want goddamn privatized #healthcare jesus christ i hate looking at cdnpoli online bc americans never stop making it about them as if they're the only one #who have ever suffered from bad policy or some shit and the rest of us are dumb fools needing to be told by y'all #i Know. we all personally fucking know bc there's plenty of instances like the story in the notes having already happened here #this bill would just be another last push. he's already done so much damage and if you cared you would know exactly what and how #GOD i hate this but it's so frustrating to see americans make it about themselves as if i don't have enough trouble #every single fucking day talking to canadians about this shit. bc so many normie libs are obsessed with looking at america okay just #stop it. if we can shut up and support y'all during your political struggles by god you can try to do it for us #anyways i guess the vote offered doesn't even mean anything but idk why i thought there would be #there's actually no stopping it unless somehow ford got booted in the next day but that's not a thing #it's just capitalism lol. and fascism. bc he's already violated the charter and there's already brutality and capitalism demands more and #more. violating federal law some more to make sure the rich can devour our corpses some more is just inevitable

[wernerherzogs]

I cant put my finger on why exactly maybe its just my anxiety. Some of the ways they were acting and the decisions people make that I know is gonna be bad are rough to watch sometimes. The writing and acting is great so i wanna keep going just kinda want to know how far they are gonna go w how bad these people are. Its funnier than I thought tho

it's VERY funny a lot of the time, but at its core it's a greek or shakespearan tragedy with Very Bad characters as protagonists/modern royalty (royalty coming from new money and speaking foul contemporary language). they get Worse with every season, i think, anon 😔

#there are moments when their humanity and even traces of kindness peek through! sure! only to be crushed again a moment later #you can feel for them at times because you understand what had shaped them and it's awful. but they're far too gone for you to be able to #feel longlasting compassion for any of them #they're part of the system and they don't Really want to escape it that's the point #it is a tragedy! they can't be redeemed! they can't change and they don't actually want to! even when they're fooling themselves they do! #anonymous #a response

[meirimerens]

U saw this right? https://www.tumblr.com/phantomspiders/707930399950700544

i hadn't and now i have... feeling some kind of things...

#have i ever spoken about my childhood fear of mlp on here or only twitter #i don't remember but i'll confess to you all also because that might explain to general you why i draw characters as horses & not mlp ponie #for as long as i can remember mlp ponies have always struck me as like. creatures disguising themselves as ponies; not truly ponies #from the figurines of the 90s starting from G2 all the way to modern iterations including the shows #they've always struck me as like. forgive my harsh words. deformed aliens wearing ponies skins. #like they're trying to show themselves as ponies to coax me into trusting them; into approaching them... #but you can see in the way they move; the way their faces; their mouths; their teeth; their legs all move #that those are no horses. those are... shape-crawlers #in the forms of innocents ponies... #BUT I'M NOT FOOLED... I KNOW MY HORSES... #you know the theory that supposes that we are Icked by things that Looked Like Something Familiar but have this thing Slightly Off #about them... the ''uncanny valley''... like your eyes can both recognize the Shape; but your brain tells you that something AIn't Right... #that's always been the mlp ponies to me. bar maybe the G1 figurines that are kinda cute. #all that to say i've had something deeply wrong with me for a while. #anonymous #ring ring (answers) #but those two are really cute i love it when people Horse. #tretijes little ears.... he's like a beautiful animal to me

[teabree-shark]

in b4 95% of all websites in june 2024 announce that "for security" they will only work with browsers that use manifest v3

E: "Oooh I'm just gonna use Vivaldi." "I'm just gonna use Brave 😏"

You damn poor pitiful fools! Vivaldi is chromium! Brave is chromium! Edge is chromium! Opera is chromium!

Blink, avast, falkon, Samsung, epic, yandex, and whatever basic "internet" browser your phone came with, all chromium!

Anything on iOS ever, now, is safari (including firefox, brave, vivaldi). If they're chromium, they're limited. If they're safari/webkit, they're limited by apple (y'all already had your extension apocalypse two years ago and now have to, like, install and use three local VPN servers in a trenchcoat that call themselves an ad blocker but still break the *shit* out of a ton of professional work).

If you used Firefox 3+ years ago and it was slow or whatever, there's been a complete rebuild and it rules and is mature and stable. Firefox Android allows extensions, including ublock origin! Marketing and business and research wings of big businesses *do* care about 2% of users, if it can even come back to that.

I wish there were other options, but there aren't, really.

This, legitimately, will shape the rest of your digital lifetimes, however long that is.

#chromium #google chrome #use firefox

[kuruttameanscrazed]

kurutta may try to get all your sympathy about how she's so dirt poor and starving and spent all of her money on her poor doggo so please donate, but...wait? she does receive help from her family and still manages to go to anime conventions and buy the favorite character goods she loves.

oh, what's that, kurutta? you say poor people like yourself are allowed to have nice things, all that after you've mocked and accused others you used to know of wanting to bait sympathy and play up their poverty to grift and take others' money?

wow, kurutta! so funny how you can only give yourself all that rationale and grace, when you're not judging and blaming others. amazing, kurutta, truly!!

#voiceactresskurutta #kurutta one moment: tells the chat how she'll starve to death and be on the streets and how nobody suffers more than she does #kurutta the next moment: brags to you about how she spent so much money at a con and rubs her purchases in your face #seriously she wants to cast aspersions on others or think they're just whiny but then wants to suck up all the sympathy in the room #she can only empathize for her own poor oppressed big brain soul. others who bankrupt themselves for a pet? fools if she hates them

[specshroom]

•The Queen of Curses•

Part 1 / Part 2

(Ok So think of this as like a Sukuna wins and everyone dies AU lol. True form! Sukuna. Added the cursed blood bath for no reason. Suggestive, titty stuff but that's it, MDNI, She/her reader, no use of Y/N)

Sukuna didn't rein over the Heian Era alone. It was always him and his lover, burning and slaughtering together. Their love for eachother was well known across the land. People knew not to be fooled by her less intimidating looks (in comparison to her husband) for she was just as brutal and heartless as he. 

All that changed when sorcerers from the era used all they're combined might to seal the Curse Queen inside a small cursed object, formed only from the combined sacrificed corpses of their comrades. 

They knew that the only way to defeat the King and Queen was to separate them and they succeeded. After hearing of the fate of his lover Sukuna flew into a blind rage leading to his own defeat at the hands of the same sorcerers.

One thousand years of relative peace passed with the two lovers separated but still yearning for each other. 

Luckily for the lovers, the ever devoted Uraume never stopped looking for a way to set their masters free. After centuries of searching and begrudgingly accepting a little help from Kenjaku, they finally found the cursed object that their Queen had been trapped in, a simple orb a little bigger than a tennis ball. It made Uraume's stomach turn thinking of such a powerful force being shoved into such a small thing. They carried the black orb with them everywhere while continuing the plot to releasing Sukuna. They found themselves whispering to it, compelled by the obsidian globe. They didn't know if their master could hear but they felt like it was right, like they could almost sense their masters overwhelming aura, compelling them to spill out everything they know. So Uraume spoke to it quite a lot, telling the dark orb and the beast inside about Sukuna's fate, about the new world, about Kenjaku and the plan to free her and her lover. 

The plan that finally comes to fruition. Sukuna is freed, his true form is restored in all its glory and hes wreaked havoc on most of Shibuya just as a warm up.  Uraume kneels before him.

"Master Sukuna."

 They say bowing their head.

 "Hmm?" 

Sukuna hums an acknowledgement, eyeing them with contempt. 

Uraume brings the dark crystal like ball out of their loose robes and holds it up, presenting it to their king. "Now, with your power fully restored we can release the Queen from her containment."

Sukuna stares at the ball in the sorcerers hand and gestures for Uraume to give it to him. He holds it as gently as his colossal hand is able to. It seems to get hotter in his hand, so hot it would surely sear the skin of a mortal. He pears into the orb only seeing his reflection in it, the Curse king nods to Uraume. He places it on the ground and they both step back, arms reaching out towards the orb on the ground.

In unison they both let out powerful blasts of cursed energy aiming right at the cursed seal. Strong streams of power, one white hot and the other pearcing cold, the orb starts to crack emitting a glowing white light. "It's breaking! Don't stop!" Sukuna orders and Uraume grunts but dutifully follows orders. The cracks grow wider and the light shines brighter before it's too blinding and they both cover their eyes as a powerful blast pierces the air.

In the settling dust stands a figure that's all too familiar to the both of them. They both watch as the figure shifts, leaning back and stretching their arms above their head, releasing a groan that is appropriate for someone who hasn't been able to move much in a thousand years. When the woman finally turns to Sukuna she sighs and smiles, letting out a relieved huff. Sukuna grins triumphantly and opens all four of his arms expecting a tide of thankful affection from his lover. When she takes the first few steps towards him her smile starts to waver until it's down to a grimace. Sukuna tenses as her eyes darken. He opens his mouth to ask what's the matter as she walks up to him and-

*SLAP*

Silence envelops the already desolate atmosphere. Sukuna's head is turned to the side, his eyes wide. He blinks before glaring at the offender with a look that could kill. She stares up at him with eyes just as deadly. 

"HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME IN THAT FUCKING BALL FOR SO LONG!!?"

Sukuna stares with his mouth open for a second genuinely shocked into silence until that second is over and he responds with equal vitriol. 

" HUH?! THAT WAS YOUR OWN FAULT WOMEN! DONT BE UNGRATEFUL!" 

The two fiery curses glare at each other with such violent intent, the very air around them heats up. 

"WHAT KIND OF SHITTY HUSBAND ALLOWS HIS OWN WIFE TO GET SEALED!"

"YOU CAN'T BLAME ME FOR THAT! DIDN'T I JUST SET YOU FREE?"

"DONT TAKE ALL THE CREDIT YOU BASTARD! URAUME'S THE ONE WHO-" 

As if the women just remembered that the other sorcerer exists, she turns around and there her loyal subject is, kneeling in her presence. 

" Welcome back master, it's good to see you" 

The woman's face brightens up immediately, "Uraume~" She sings running up to the sorcerer and lifting them into a bone crushing hug that would've killed a lesser being. "Oh, Thank you Uraume. My dutiful subject, you did so good." The Curse Queen coos at the sorcerer, squishing their face into her chest and stroking their duel coloured hair. Uraume doesn't hug back as to be respectful of their superior but they don't push back either, just letting their master man-handle (woman-handle?) them. 

Sukuna clicks his tongue at the show of affection and crosses two of his massive arms over his chest. No doubt in disbelief that HIS wife doesn't embrace HIM first after a thousand years spent apart.

The wife in question turns to him with Uraume still in her arms, an irritated look on her face. 

"What's your problem?" 

"My problem is that MY wife is being an ungrateful bitch." 

The benevolent woman stills and Uraume peers up at her from their place, nestled into the cleavage of her loose fitting kimono. The woman sets Uraume down onto the ground gently. She breathes a heavy sigh and in less that a second she's on Sukuna throwing a mass of red hot cursed energy right into his face. He blocks it in time and is able to keep blocking her continuous fast attacks. She gets frustrated and lets out a powerful blast that shakes the earth and forces him to jump back to avoid the blast.

She laughs with relief, finally being able to let out all that pent up cursed energy feels amazing. Her tattoos (similar to Sukuna's but not quite the same) almost seem to glow with the immense energy output being let off from her body. Only the tattoos on her face, neck and wrists are visible but Sukuna knows very well what the rest looks like, having traced every inch of ink with his fingers.

Sukuna takes the opportunity while she's distracted by the pure euphoria of letting her energy loose and comes barreling towards her, she can't react before he tackles her to the ground. He pins her hands down with two of his hands and another goes to roughly grab her jaw.

"Does it feel good to finally let off some steam, Baby?" 

The king of curses teasingly remarks from above her.

"Baby? That's new." She questions with a teasing grin. Her words are a bit slurred from the way her husband is holding her jaw.

"Might as well get with the times." He bites back with an even more cocksure grin. She scratches and kicks at him and bites at his hand. With all her concentration she channels the sheer amount of pent up cursed energy in her body and lets it burst out in a deafening blast that knocks Sukuna off of her. Static reverberates in the air.

In the few seconds it takes for him to recover she takes the opportunity to pounce on him pinning him to the ground. Grinning from her place above him her heavy breaths and beating heart match his. Her crazy, alert eyes meet four others with the same sentiment.

"I missed you so fucking much." Sukuna says before he pulls her by her robes into a deep kiss. The kiss is somehow aggressive and sensual.

Two of Sukuna's massive hands go to her waist and thigh holding her body to his as he sits up. The third hand is on the floor for balance and the last is tangled in her hair pressing her further into the kiss, as if that's even possible. Both Cursed beings are glad that they don't need to breath or else they surely would have suffocated each other by now. 

The queen of curses has never been more pleased by the fact that her husband doesn't seem to know what a shirt is. Sukuna has voiced many times that he wished his wife shared the same sentiments only for her to scoff at the suggestion, although, now she thinks the idea is one of the best he's ever had.

They fight for dominance with their tongues. Still locked in the passionate sloppy kiss the woman unlatches her hands from his hair to slip off the robes she was wearing over a loose fitting kimono. She unwraps the black accented white Kimono, rather slowly in sukunas opinion to let her breasts fall free to the warm air. 

Sukuna releases his mouth from hers, licking his spit slicked lips to stare down at his beautiful wife's beautiful tits.

"Yeah, remember these are mine. Only mine." Sukuna grumbles lowly before smooshing his face right between them, sighing deeply like a thousand year old itch has finally been scratched.

"Aww, is Ryō a little jealous?" The woman preens in a patronising manner while lightly stroking his fluffy hair.

"Poor baby~" She coos, repeating the pet name he used for her. Her teasing only gets a glare and a growl from the beast of a man currently buried in her tits, holding her impossibly closer to his face.

She chuckles down at him, a loving yet menacing look in her eyes.

"Well maybe I should let Uraume- where did they go?"

She looks around the scorched city landscape looking for her white haired subordinate and as if they heard her words summoning them they appear with a respectful bow.

"I have made the preparations for your bath."

"Thank you, Uraume~"

The woman beams and turns to the man who is still occupied with her tits, he's now picked a tit to suckle on, fondling the other in his rough hand.

"come now Ryo, it's time for our bath." She says curtly and the man groans with his mouth full, absolutely dreading even the idea of his tongue leaving the hardened nipple he's been sucking on. If the two objects poking her ass are any indication if it was up to him they would never get to the blood bath Uraume so kindly set up for them.

She tries standing up and pulling away but the man is latched on tightly, all four arms clutching around her as if they never want to be an inch apart from her again. The more she struggles the bigger the two chubs in his pants grow. She sighs and struggles once more.

"Uraume planned this out very nicely for us, Ryomen. Just do what I say Damnit!"

She pulls at his hair and he bites down on her tit in response, earning a yelp and a harsh smack on the head from her. He laughs, not with the mouth on her tit but with the mouth on his stomach. She peers down at it, as if she just remembered it's there. Without wasting more time she grabs the large tongue crushing it with her grip and tugging on it hard.

Sukuna releases her tit to yell out in pain.

"OW, WOMAN! You should be grateful for every ounce of attention I give you! OW!"

As Sukuna rages, she snorts and jumps out of his now loosened arms. Turning her back to him, she approaches the other sorcerer who's head is still bowed.

"Uraume, would you kindly show me to my bath?"

"Of course, Master"

Uraume stands and bows their head. Holding out their arm for their Queen.

She holds onto Uraume's arm, purposely squishing her still exposed breasts into the sorcerer's side as she smiles down at them.

"I guess we'll have the bath all to ourselves then, Uraume~"

Uraume closes their eyes with a knowing smile and nods in response, very accustomed to the games the two lovers would play with each other, often forcing them right in the middle. Their Queen would often promise that she'd one day make Uraume flustered, something that to this day has yet to occur.

The sorcerer doesn't even flinch at their powerful master fawning over them, stroking their arm and pressing her now marked up tits closer into them as the two walk off towards the bath Uraume prepared.

"HEY!! WHAT THE HELL!?? URAUME!"

Sukuna sits in disbelief at his wife's antics. As if he's only now remembering what a tease she is and has always been.

His wife looks back at him over her shoulder, she shrugs her kimono off her shoulder, exposing her tattooed shoulder to him before turning back to Uraume snickering.

Sukuna huffs and grins, shaking his head. He's so fucking happy to have his wife back.

(AN: I was originally planning to make this smut but... It just got away from me😭😭 sooo... Maybe in a part two? 👀👀)

#this art of Sukuna will live in my head forever now btw #Uraume my beloved #jjk x reader #sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna ryomen smut #sukuna scenarios #jjk smut #jjk sukuna #true form sukuna #uraume #uraume x reader #queen of curses

[shadow4-1]

I'm just imagining having to break up small fights between the 141.

They're rare, but they do happen. Usually when tensions are running high and things aren't going as they're supposed to. Occasionally it's because they cross each other's boundaries, but for the most part it's just men being men.

Soap and Ghost squabble the most, but it always comes from a place of concern. It's usually just hushed growls, and face to face glares. You usually just clear your throat and raise a brow. Both men tend to huff and walk off. Sometimes, if they're really mad at each other, they'll push at each other. You know better than to get in between them, but you call out to them and they stop. They never hurt each other, and that's pretty nice, actually.

Gaz and Soap on the otherhand, get much more physical. It's not bare-handed hits, but more wrestling, headlocks and grappling. It's like watching two brothers get into it over the TV remote (you've seen them fight over a PS5 controller, so not far off). All you have to do is raise your voice, grab whatever their fighting over, or just sit and enjoy the show. Eventually they tire themselves out. If they're actually mad at each other it can turn into a fistfight, but they usually look to you to break it up before it gets to that point.

Price and Soap is the worst. It's extremely rare, but when their tensions boil over, it explodes. Soap has some authority issues, and if Price forgets/ignores that it tends to get heated. It starts off as grumbles and growls from Soap but quickly turns into yelling and disobeying orders (obviously Soap has his reasons, but he goes about it the wrong way). If Price has had enough of Soap's infantile behavior he tends to snap (any of you acting like fools makes him embarrassed). If words are exchanged, well, it'll turn into a fight. Price always wins. Soap takes a couple days to recover his ego. But you try to jump in before it can get there. Only once have you actually had to get in between them and it was kind of terrifying. The only reason they stopped yelling at each other was because you had a hand on each of their chests and talked in a slow, calming fashion.

They'd all be fine without you, they'd figure out their differences. But with you around, they lean on you. Something about the way you guide social interactions just helps them breathe easier. You make an excellent mediator.

#cod imagines #mw2 #call of duty #mw2 headcanons #simon ghost riley #cod mwii #john soap mactavish #captain price #simon riley x reader #kyle gaz garrick

[miserycanary]

THE BRICK MAN’S WIFE ᡣ𐭩 previous ⤶

pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley & model!fem!reader

synopsis: finally meeting the wife

tags: a poor attempt at crack, fluff, a sprinkle of smut

2 weeks have passed since then. After a while of people sending him weird stares and catching a few mumbles of pity for him, plus the insistent questioning from a certain Scot, Ghost kinda got the gist of what was happening. Of course, he was amused but slightly offended that people thought of him like that. Also, at the fact Price didn’t do anything. In fact, he even laughed at him during a night over drinks. Mocking him and pertaining to you as “the imaginary missus”. 

He told you about it one night, sighing as he says he finally figured out why people are giving him stares. 

| “When I get my hands on the Scot,” he grumbles, pushing away strands of your hair while he cradles you in his arms. You chuckle as you feed yourself some popcorn then raise your hand to give some to your husband. “Can you blame them, Si? You don’t talk much.” Playfully rolling his eyes, he scoffs and nuzzles his mouth on your nape where he knows you’re ticklish. “Whatever.”

An opportunity to finally clear up his name arrives when the force decides to go out for drinks, accidentally stumbling upon a set on the streets. They were confused at first, brushing it off but Soap’s gasp stops them. “Look! It’s the LT’s wife,” he hisses to Gaz, motioning to where you are standing. Everyone was stunned because you looked like a heaven’s angel. Dressed in white, adorned with strings of pearls, and glittery makeup. At that moment, both Gaz and Soap momentarily wished that their lieutenant was lying because… holy fuck… you were pretty as shit. 

With the intent of busting Ghost’s “lie” (and a few hidden intentions), they suggested that they wait for you to finish up so that he could introduce the group. 

“Look, they’re done. Go call her!” Gaz bumps Ghost, earning him a glare before it softens when he looks at your direction. Immediately, your eyes met your husband’s then the rest. With a smirk, you whisper something to your manager and run to the group. Before Ghost could greet you, “Hi! Are you guys fans? I’m actually doing a meet and greet today,” you exclaim, holding back laughter when Simon looks at you like you’ve grown two heads.

I mean, what’s wrong with messing with your husband and his friends a little? Of course your little stunt drove Soap and Gaz wild, feeling proud of themselves that they proved you were lying.

Long story short, the two went home smirking while you were getting pounded deep into the mattress by your husband by the end of the night. His “revenge” for pulling that prank on him. 

| “Haaa, can’t believe you let your husband look like a fool,” Simon chuckles, snapping his hips ruthlessly while the sound of skin slapping drowns your mewls and moans. “S-sorry! Ngh– c-c-cumming!” you cry out, your nails digging down on his back while your toes curl. “Nope.” You whine and sob in frustration as you feel your husband’s cock pull out again and your climax dissipating for the nth time, your pussy clenching around nothing in hopes to pull him back in. “Please please please, I’m sorry–” your pleas get cut short by Simon’s fingers pushing deep into your mouth. “Bad girls who fool their husbands don’t get to cum, and takes what they're given” he taunts, pushing back in swift trust, bringing tears into your eyes. 

After that night of torture, you make it up to him by visiting him at the base. Thankfully, Price was the one who greets you first. After telling him that you’re there for Simon, he only chuckles and directs you to their spot. The reaction to seeing you there was immediate. Soap with his eyes bulging out, Gaz with his jaw slacked open, and Ghost with hearts in his eyes. Like a puppy, he runs to you, arms instinctively wrapping around your waist and pulling you in. “Sweetheart,” he greets but was pulled away by Soap. “Hey, mate. You shouldn’y go around grabbing ladies like that,” he frowns, which got a chuckle from you. Deciding to finally help your husband, you squeeze yourself in between the two and pressed a kiss on Simon’s lips which he quickly returned. 

It was like they just witnessed pigs fly. “WAIT, WHAT?” they exclaim in unison, while Price’s laughter echoes. “Right, to clear things up, I am indeed this brick man’s wife,” you giggle, placing your hand on his chest and head on his shoulders. “WAIT, CAPTAIN, YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS?” “Of course he knew,” Ghost butts in. “He was there during the wedding.” Like this couldn’t be any messier, more exclaims and shouts erupted from the two.  "Why didn'y tell us?" Soap asks, feeling betrayed by the Captain witholding this news which only got a shrug as a reply. You chuckle, before offering your hand to them. "It's nice to properly meet you guys. I wanted to mess with my husband when we first met," you explained. When Soap grabs your offering hand, he has to take in a breath. How are you so soft? And so, so pretty.

Gaz takes your hand next, chuckling as he gives you a firm handshake. "Well, it worked. So, is it true you're the one cooking those lunches?" Your cheeks redden as your hand pulls back, hiding behind you. "Um, yeah... I'm not good at cooking but got signed up for a cooking thing. The first one I made led to Si being sick."

The day passes as you share stories with them.

At the end, Ghost was boasting with a smirk, Gaz and Soap feeling heartbroken and dejected inside, while Price just watches in amusement. 

꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱: sorry if it's bad. I rushed it because I don't think I'll have time anytime soon to post regularly. I hope people like this. <3 There’s a different one to this but I don’t know if people will like that version. Special thanks to @thychuvaluswife and 📩 for their ideas! This was also requested. 📩

dividers by @cafekitsune

Please reblog!! Ask if open!

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check out my other works in the masterlist: ୭!

#canary’s melodies #canary’s symphonies #simon ghost smut #simon ghost x reader #ghost x you #ghost smut #simon riley call of duty #ghost riley #cod x reader #cod modern warfare #ghost x reader #simon ghost x you #simon riley cod #simon riley x you #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost mw2 #simon riley #simon riley smut #simon riley fluff #ghost cod #simon riley x y/n #cod mw2 #cod smut

[uvuyai]

Men who use their legs to keep you spread open while they finger you☺️(this is my [short] apology letter for my april fools joke😓) this was based off some chilumi nsfw i found on X. I'll link it later!

Tag ~ fingering, fem!reader(no pronouns),, overstimulation, squirting, mating press, no sex but implied at the end, eating outz, size difference, tit slapping + nipple play,

The way he just snaps you into position with your legs bent away to your shoulders beneath their legs. The way they pumps and ruthlessly thrusts their fingers into your clenching hole, sending you sky high into a bursting orgasm. The tears and drool running down your face says it all. Your trembling hands clenching the thigh of his pants.

You try your hardest to wriggle your way out of his tight leg lock but they're not letting you go till he's finished with you. You've come for the nth time of the day. your mewls, whines, and moans getting high on pitch every waking second. They like seeing you like this; all spread out, puffy pussy sucking their fingers in, eyes rolling up to heaven, and the sweet juices you squirted out onto their hand.

He leans down and licks a stripe of your cunt, you immediately jump from the sudden change of roughness. They tweak and suck at your clit. Their tongue licking long and forceful stripes of your pussy. Their nose pokes at your clit from time to time. Your tongue hanging out of your mouth and tilting your head to the side to hopefully avoid neck pain. You let out a sharp moan and gasp as you felt yourself wet their hand. Your toes curled at the erupting feeling. You are nearly embarrassed about how you've wet yourself. They raise themselves back up to look back at the mess they've made beneath them. That mess being you. Your eyes are so close to closing as you let out soft and quiet pleas for no more.

But as I've said before; he's not stopping now.

One more time at least baby is what they say and they slide their fingers back into you, immediately curling up into that spot he knows like the back of his palm. Their other hand slams down onto your tits, tweaking them in the process. You're so cute they think as they see you trying to escape his leg prison once again. They give you a hearty chuckle and a teasing smirk. Your eyes try to ultimately focus on them but he doesn't stop pumping his fingers into you. Poor thing, it was only 15 minutes in, but it must've felt like eternity for you. Which you hope was the last of, you clenched your teeth and let out a gut bursting orgasm.

He gets up and flips you onto your stomach and removes the rest of your clothes along with his. They aligned his thick, long cock to your sensitive hole. Oh boy, this was gonna be a long day or night for you.

The characters i think: Zhongli, blade, childe, Kaeya, Boothill, Aventurine, Dr. Ratio, Diluc, Wriothesley, Jing Yuan, Pantalone, Capitano, Dottore, Scaramouche, Alhaitham, Sunday, and you favs!

LOVE NOTE SIGNED © 𝑢𝑣𝑢𝑦𝑎𝑖 2024

DO NOT PLAGIARIZE, COPY, REPOST, OR TRANSLATE MY POST W/O PERMISSION. DO NOT COPY MY LAYOUT. YOU MAY TAKE INSPIRATION BUT MAKE SURE TO CREDIT ME.

#zhongli smut #blade smut #childe smut #kaeya smut #boothill smut #aventurine smut #dr ratio smut #diluc smut #wriothesley smut #jing yuan smut #pantalone smut #capitano smut #dottore smut #scaramouche smut #genshin imagines #honkai starrail imagines #𓆩ri.𓆪 #✉️.txt #✎ suggestive 𓆪 #𓆩ri.txt📝𓆪 #𓆩!smutty.𓆪 #✎ characters from other clubs #honkai star rail smut #genshin impact smut #[ ♪o(〃＾▽＾〃)o♪ ] #alhaitham smut #sunday smut #blade x reader

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Satyr König who is always chasing and herding poor nymph!reader and the other pretty nymph ladies around the shallow water where they played and giggled until this giamt horny beast appeared with his leaking cock and wanted to mate with them >:(

But honestly König doesn't care anymore, he wants to breed with the pretty nymphs and if that means getting overstimulated with how much you and the other girls are riding him then he'll happily accept such 'punishment'! He's awfull! But his balls are full and heavy and he's very virile so it's so big deal at all♡

Satyr!König is an absolute pervert, a lustful rural god as they say. Of course he's watching naked, unsuspecting nymphs playing in the water, chasing each other in the middle of a glade!

CW: Exhibitionism & masturbation. König getting frustrated with a bunch of nymphs because no one wants to mate with him.

They haven't seen him yet, slowly stroking his cock behind a tree. Grinding his hips against his hand, imitating thrusting inside a woman even if it's just his large, hard fist he's fucking here, their giggles make his tip wet as they splash water all over themselves. Sweet, soft bodies glisten in the sun, dozens of nipples perk up from the cold water, these nymphs are making his cock leak all over the ground :(

It's their fault for being so cute; he really has no choice but to start a little chase. First, he tries to walk into the sunny view, cock hard and very presentable, but to his great fury, the nymphs just scream and scatter like dandelion seeds in the wind.

He tries to catch them, even just one of them, to bully with his cock, but they start to play with him when they notice they're faster than a clumsy old faun. He almost snatches one by the waist, but the nymph turns into a young willow and he finds himself only humping against the soft bark of a tree.

Hearing a chime of giggles all around him, his cock gives another angry pull. They're laughing at him stumbling around like a centaur, or worse yet, they're laughing at his cock that's twitching and leaking between his hairy thighs, deprived of a woman's warmth :(

He's being played like a fool, and he throws his head back in the middle of the glen and roars, scaring away birds and squirrels with a mighty, furious bellow.

He just wanted to give them his seed, maybe tickle them with his tongue, but if they're going to make fun of him like this, he'll show them what they're missing... He'll show them what happens when you play cat and mouse with a horny god.

Catching his throbbing cock in an angry fist, he starts to stroke himself and play with his balls, the hairiest and heaviest part of all fauns. Knows that the dumb little creatures are watching with wide eyes and dropped jaws even if their stupid giggles have stopped.

The forest has fallen silent, and that's exactly what he wants. There's no bright laughter anymore, only fascinated, soft whispering all around him as he groans and moans, the thick release not far away as he imagines himself fucking a pretty nymph who's hungry and desperate for his cock. If no one's going to take up on this thick, hairy offer, he's going to ruin their day and cover their little nymph glade with seed...

#perv!könig #satyr!könig #könig smut #fantasy au