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fearful-quartet · 3 days

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So I've been listening to The Magnus Protocol, and managed to get my dad into TMA last year so he's now listening to Mag Protocol too. So last night we were listening in the car to the latest statement, and I was half-jokingly saying which fear the statement sounded like mostly, to which my dad starts talking about how he doesn't think these statements and the O.A.I.R are connected to the Fears at all. I'm gonna try to put a cut for anyone not caught up but here's how this led to a theory of mine:

So Lena said to Gwen that there's good and bad forces that need to be balanced, but she never said which side of that the O.A.I.R. is part of, if any. I was noting this when it hit me.

Every single Magnus Protocol Statement so far has been about misfortune coming around due to perceived fortune or a fortunate opportunity becoming misfortune.

Let's break this down ep by ep so you see what I mean.

Episode One: It's a little hard to figure out what the fortune is to the misfortune, especially since it's mostly getting us used to the characters and the overall setup of the show, but for the first statement I think it's not the statement giver, but the husband. Harriet (the one emailing) says he sounded excited in an unsettling way (I am assuming the "he" she is talking about is her husband since she doesn't mention anyone else). When she meets him, or what has him, she describes that he laughed and laughed. Her misfortune was his fortune, his joy.

The second statement in that episode of course is about the Institute, but by way of a bunch of spelunkers looking for something intriguing to discuss. I haven't quite figured out the connection here but I am sure there is one, even if it's through the characters (aka Sam) finding something within it.

Two: A lot easier to connect to this. Daria is finding joy through getting this tattoo that allows her to change how she looks and alter her appearance immensely (and grotesquely). Enough said.

Three: This statement is one that overall I just don't understand tbh, but I think it shows the opposite? As in the victim is experiencing fear and discomfort the entire time, but towards the end you'll notice he gets much more happy and calm about the situation.

Four: This is again easy, it's about a violin that needs blood but will give you amazing talent if you pay that price, and horrible bloodshed if you don't. Self-explanatory.

Five: The guy is trying to make a living off watching and reviewing horror movies, gets excited at a live showing of one just for him, then realizes it's not what it seems and posts everyone should see it. Easy enough. (Very Grifter's Bone in energy)

Six: The introduction to infamous new tumblr sexyman, Needles. I shouldn't have to spell out how he gets pleasure from others in pain by needles.

Seven: All I gotta say is it's "all for a good cause" and you should get the picture.

Eight: Utilizes that uncanny fear of false hospitality if you ask me, but either way this statement is clearly taking something associated often as comforting and twisting it.

Nine: The dice literally affect fortune and misfortune and likely make the statement giver into the embodiment of fortune. 'Nuff said.

Ten: Bonzo needs no explanation for this in his introductory episode so let's move on.

Eleven: This one goes more into obsession territory than anything, which is another running theme of the show and another theory, but it also talks about how the sea brings comfort so that could be part of it. (Also I noticed the sneaky possibly Dr. David reference in there lol)

Twelve: Now I know what you're gonna say, "How is this one connected to fortune at all, Cal? It's about some woman being traumatized at a strip club!" Well think about this: what if it wasn't supposed to end in Bonzo? Gwen gave Bonzo an "assignment," didn't she? And Lena pretty much outright says that this statement was that assignment. So it's possible this is what happened after stopping the initial outcome.

Thirteen: The latest episode as of typing this, and the most clear with evidence. The man literally gains a fortune from his own misfortune, so ya know it's right there.

So every statement is a good thing turned bad or a bad thing turned good. So what? Magnus Archives had plenty of statements similarly framed, so why am I focusing on it here?

Because what is the tagline for Magnus Protocol again?

Fear takes many forms.

#the magnus archives #the magnus protocol #magpod #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #tmagp theory #alexander j newall #jonny sims #tmagp needles #tmagp mr bonzo #magnus archives #the magnus institute #podcast stuff #the magnus pod #magnus protocol #someone please tell me I'm not crazy #cause i swear im onto something here #we'll see i guess #but if im right im coming back to this and saying i told you so

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gotyouanyway · 1 day

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time lord ocs info post

ok this is a LOT of info and doesn't even cover it entirely but here's the main details about my little trio of time lord ocs :)

some of the canon details might be a little off - i haven't listened to all of gallifrey: time war yet and i'm pretty sure i nudged some facts around to make everything fit but don't worry about it <3

names:

caldinsedravin (caldin) 3rd regeneration (f, m, m) - ex cia agent - prydonian

hollustallamanta (hollus) 1st regeneration (f) - ex guardsman - prydonian

kilicoversonterast (kilic, kilico to friends and family) 2nd regeneration (m, ?) - genetic engineer - arcalian

story:

academy

- become best friends through constantly being put in weird situations together

- eventually they become known for being an inseparable trio, nicknamed gallifreyan equivalent of “XYZ” as a group like cartesian coordinates. caldin is x, hollus is y, kilic is z. they hate it but privately consider themselves lucky it wasn’t something more mean

- graduated a few years before the civil war

pre/early time war

- caldin went into the cia, hollus into the chancellery guard, kilic became a teacher at the academy

- hollus and caldin got together romantically toward the end of their academy days, slowly get more serious over the years after they graduate

- they all have individual adventures for a bit (caldin regenerates) but all stay friends

- time war starts

- kilic is drafted into project revenant, gets obsessed with it and starts experimenting on himself

- when the chancellery guard is dissolved, hollus wants to run rather than be forced into the idu

- eventually she convinces caldin to go with her

- caldin wants to bring kilic with them, so they go to get him but he’s not having it at all

- they fight badly. caldin pulls a staser and goes to shoot kilic. at the same time, kilic grabs the staser and caldin’s arm, causing the blast to go through them both and intensify/kick back. they’re both badly hurt and regenerate

- kilic regenerates into the same body because of their experimentation, but it's messed up

house era

- hollus takes caldin and runs. they can’t get any kind of off-planet transport so they just flee the capitol

- they go through it for a while. they aren’t important enough to be hunted down, but if they ran into conscription officers or anything they’d be taken back in and punished

- eventually they find a House (unnamed rn) that looks abandoned and they take shelter there. the house is a little senile

- they find 2 children/loomlings/whatever you want to call them. all the adults were conscripted, the older children were taken away, but these two hid (sidan and linara. they’re a whole other story, lots going on there)

- eventually more kids join them from other houses/from the house’s loom. hollus and caldin are kind of stuck taking care of them and it’s dangerous and insane. see my post about broken looms for a little more detail but they need their own post tbh

- kilico stays in the capitol working for rassilon and the war council. the others are always trying to convince them to come join them and they won’t do it. but they can’t just leave them out there to suffer either, so they help with supplies and evading conscription etc. at great personal risk and not always unselfishly. they want hollus and caldin to come back to the capitol where they can keep them safe. they want them to stop being childish and running away. they want them to be back together and happy again. etc.

characters:

caldin

core traits across regenerations: hot headed, deeply emotional, self interested/internally focused (as in, only cares about themselves and loved ones, doesn’t pay much attention to society in general)

caldin 1 (academy & cia)

-bright, sarcastic, playful

-overly ambitious, competitive, arrogant

-loyal to her friends but doesn’t always treat them super great

-recruited by the cia more for her disposition and potential than her skill or intelligence, but did really well in training

-regenerates on her first field mission when an enemy operative attacks her

caldin 2 (pre/early time war - cia)

-serious, compassionate, tense

-still ambitious, but less tolerant of navigating fair competition and existing power structures. makes him frustrated and eventually, unwilling to even play the game once the time war messes everything up

-barks at authority but doesn’t bite

-terrified of regeneration

-regenerates due to staser feedback when shooting kilic

caldin 3 (house era)

-funny (both intentionally and not), cautious, old soul

-no filter, no patience for small annoyances, but more mature and rational than he’s ever been where it really matters

-tired, hurt, scared, but keeping it together and trying to make the best of things

-just wants his loved ones with him and for the fighting to stop and the kids to live (against all odds, he’s pretty good with the kids. not great, but pretty good)

-almost won’t even look at kilic. fight on sight. but needs the help they’re giving and misses them so bad

-extremely grouchy about the house but protects it like a housekeeper

-the struggler

hollus

core traits: analytical, bloodthirsty, insecure in herself as an individual (needs a group to thrive)

(academy)

-meticulous, straightforward, level headed

-really into weapons and weapon maintenance as well as the technical aspects of combat

-bit autistic in general

-not a peacekeeper but gives the impression of being at the eye of the caldin/kilico storm

-challenges authority but in a respectful bargaining way that gets her what she wants

(pre/early time war - chancellery guard)

-the guard becomes her life and she loves it

-quickly promoted to commander

-really discovers her love of combat here and feels good having healthy safe outlets for it (not something she actively recognizes about herself but true)

-everyone’s favourite trainer because she’s honest about extreme violence and knows everything about stasers. plus she’s pretty. the new recruits all fall in love with her

-most of her squadron sided with romana during the civil war they were like blood bonded brothers and all that. except for the ones she lost (either to picking sides or to the virus or to death or whatever) which hurt so bad she never even processed it oops

-loyal to the guard (her friends) over gallifrey so when the guard is disbanded she splits immediately

(house era)

-still the same but colder. getting emotionally closed off. lonely without her comrades

-finds herself wanting to either cling to caldin or push him away depending on the day, but he’s sort of immune to it (doesn’t take it personally, doesn’t overreact to her moods)

-feels guilty about how much she still secretly enjoys combat even though it’s real and dangerous now (same as she felt during the civil war but so much worse because of how many innocents are involved now, + it's worse without the buffer of a dozen other bloodthirsty guardsmen surrounding her at all times)

-struggling to develop some kind of maternal instinct toward the kids but it’s not going great. would still do anything for them but it’s all very weird for her

-also grouchy about the house. would throttle it if she could find out which part was the neck

kilic/kilico

core traits: obsessive, curious, “i can fix everything if i try hard enough”

kilic 1 (academy)

-flippant, brainy, head in the clouds

-cares about studies and about his eventual place in time lord society way more than the others (stuffy old professor in the making, but not yet yknow)

-obsessed with the biology of regeneration. weird about it. gets the group to play eighth man bound

-stumbles into opportunities rather than having any idea of how to navigate time lord society, but it works

-often feels like he and hollus are babysitting caldin. hollus would say she’s not babysitting anyone she’s just watching the show

-a little jealous of his friends, he thinks they’re cooler than him, but doesn’t actually want to be like them. just wants to also be cool (they are all equally cool/uncool in reality he’s just got self esteem issues)

-constantly fighting with caldin but when they’re not fighting they’re inseparable

(pre/early time war)

-genetic engineer specializing in regeneration

-professor at the academy, not really through choice but because that’s the best way to get research grants and assistants

-doesn’t care that much about his students or their education, but does have a soft spot for the much younger ones and the ones who get all excited about regeneration biology like he does

-has sort of a cult following of students who are obsessed with him in a ‘this guy is so insane it’s funny let’s study him’ way but he doesn’t know about it and never finds out

-occasionally gets caught up in petty prof drama and has a good time with it (caldin’s influence)

-when the war starts and the academy is shut down, he’s drafted into project revenant and gets freakishly obsessed with it

-he’s scared of the war and thinks this will keep everyone he loves alive and safe

-personally supervises resurrections and is working on augmenting regeneration

-starts going wild with experiments and does them on himself when willing volunteers run out (he’d never get unethical enough to experiment on anyone against their will, at least)

-regenerates when shot by caldin, but into the same body because of self experimentation

kilic 2 (house era)

-regeneration induced identity issues. same body, same mind, but still regenerated. entire personality shifted to the left, intensified, came back wrong. gave them gender issues too (many such cases)

-still working on proj. rev. after the dalek attack but everything is going crazy everything is broken the vibes are twisted now that the project has moved and half the people on it are dead or resurrected

-questioning loyalty due to everything falling apart and the identity issues

-really trying to have everything both ways. keeps helping caldin and hollus evade capture on purpose, wants to go with them, wants them to come back, wants them captured, wants them safe and happy in their new home

-increasingly wants to run away and go live with them but can’t let go of the project. despite everything they still think revenant is the only way they’re all going to survive the war

-even if they did decide to flee, they don’t think hollus and caldin would take them in and they’re probably right

notes:

i forgot there was a hollis in gallifrey s4 when i made my hollus so we're just ignoring that. that guy wasn't anything anyway

idk what's meant to have become of proj. rev. after the dalek invasion but based on narvin saying they might resurrect his dad later on, i'm assuming they sort of tried to keep it going. idk.

they do have other friends and relationships besides each other. but you know how it is.

i didn't reference it much in the post for clarity but they used their academy nicknames a lot in the academy and occasionally after to tease each other. they also use them when delivering coded messages between the house and the capitol. they are xyz :)

made picrews of them <3

caldin 1, 2, 3

hollus

kilic

#this post is so long sorry i just love them your honour #i tried to make it as organized and readable as possible but it's sooo hard to do subheadings on here..#maybe if i do colour text idk.. whatev #p #ocposting #xyz

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polyamorousmood · 19 hours

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Genuine question about poly (I've been thinking about whether it's something I'd want to try, with me being ace it's probably my best option for finding a partner-) how do you compromise when it comes to bigger life decisions? Unless you're in a triad or a bigger sort of "closed circle" polycule, and you compromise among each other (which also seems more difficult tbh), to me it seems like poly relationships are like a web that contains many many people because you're dating three people, they're dating a few other people, and so on. So either you have primary relationships where you prioritize each other and don't mind leaving the other ones behind (which seems a bit idk. I would not be the primary relationship because I won't have sex and ace men are very rare from the surveys I've seen. A lifetime of being in the periphery doesn't seem desireable to me.) Or you act as an individual agent and basically have to break up with everyone if you ever want to move which seems horrific and like a massive commitment. I guess you could do long distance but I don't see long distance working if your partner has other partners they can interact with normally..

I mean. There's no one answer here. You're making a lot of assumptions (which may be but are not always true) so let's break this down bit my bit. Buckle up 💺we got stuff to discuss

But if you want a TL;DR: How do you make that decision in a monog relationship if Partner A wants to leave but Partner B has family here? Well, there's a lot of discussion and someone has to compromise on something. How it shakes out will depend on the people and the specific situation.

"the poly web🕸️" While a polycule can spiral into something huge via the "everyone has three partners" principle, its also possible it stays pretty small. Not everyone in a polycule will want to date someone else, not everyone who wants to date someone else will be able to find someone else to date, etc etc. Small polycules are common in practice.

"aces ♠️won't be the 'primary partner'" I respect you hedging your expectations and understand the reasoning there, but the poly community is pretty open to weird relationship dynamics. You could be the "primary" and your partner could have a couple other relationships to get sexual needs met. You could join an ace polycule. Your partner could have you and one other person and see you both as equal.

"Moving💼 means taking or leaving everyone -- or prioritizing" I... I guess it could? But if you know you're wanting to move far away, you're probably discussing that quite a while in advance, and then only dating people who are okay with things being short term or moving with you. Or a lot of poly relationships are already long distance, so one person moving makes very little difference! There's a lot of options there, which leads to point 4

"Long distance✈️ can't work if your partner has local partners" LDRs in poly relationships are common. I honestly see it as easier because you can have your physical needs met by someone else

"A lifetime of being in the periphery🥈" you're never locked down. If you're not getting what you need from ANY relationship, I hope you're negotiating about it or leaving. If being poly only works for you if you're the primary, but your partner can fuck whoever, you wouldn't be the first. Even if you don't want to impose those rules, there are options, and your partner should be working to make you happy. It can be a hell of a learning curve sometimes, I admit, but you can find a weird way of being that works for everyone. Or you can leave! Or they could leave you for unrelated reasons! Or maybe they go to prison for embezzlement and that sort of ends the relationship for you! All sorts of shit could come up.

"this is a poly problem" Bestie. Do you know how many movies have been made on the premise of "my spouse got a job offer far away but I don't want to move"? This is something that could happen in any relationship. I'm not saying having other people involved wouldn't be a variable in the equation, but your relationship with your partner is no different from a monogamous one in this aspect. How that decision gets made is the same to me as how it would get made in a monog relationship where one person has family they don't want to leave. Maybe you do split up, maybe you try long distance, maybe partner A decides not to move, maybe partner B decides they're willing to move with them after all (and then subsequent partners make the same choice). And its not perfect in any of these options, in fact it probably really fucking sucks. But life is messy. This shit happens.

And like, you don't have to try polyamory. There are asexual people out there you could meet and love. There are allosexual people out there who would be willing to give that up to be with you. You could do an open relationship situation where your partner doesn't "date" anyone else, but can still sleep around. Or you can join an asexual polycule!

So how do major life choices get decided in a polycule? The same way major life decisions get made anywhere. Hopefully, everyone says their peace and gets to weigh in. Hopefully the life goals align. Failing that, hopefully there's a compromise that's acceptable to everyone, but maybe there isn't and it forces a break up (or 6). Maybe some break up but not everyone, like so:

Or some of the relationships turn into long distance or whatever. Man there's too many variables. Some people view things as hierarchical and some don't. Some people don't but functionally have only been dating one person for 4 months so they're easier to leave -- or know they cannot live with another person because they're too disorganized so going long distance is fine. You don't know until you're there. I'm losing the thread, but you know what I'm saying.

#ask box is always open #about polyamory #how does polyamory work

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personalized-chaos · 2 years

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When I saw a very pretty drawing by Logan Maxwell Hagege, which I can not find now for some reason, I just knew I had to try and draw a SBR cover in the same fashion since yk the flowers in the foreground etc

ID: Digital drawing in semi-realistic style of Johnny Joestar riding his horse as it ==. He's wearing blue outfit consisting of pants with star pattern, t-shirt with a hood and beanie with the same pattern as his pants and two holes for two strands of his hair which form little horns. His horse is almost white with few dark brown spots. There are tall plants with big red flowers in the foreground and the background is light pink with grey and orange undertones and big white cloud in the middle. /End ID

#steel ball run #sbr #jojo sbr #jojo steel ball run #jojo part 7 #jjba part 7 #johnny joestar #jjba fanart #jojo fanart #sbr fanart #johnny joestar fanart #has the painting disappeared or wtf #so glad I'm finally done tho it took like a month unbelievable #mainly thanks to my tablet fucking with me etc but whatever it still was a lot of work #very glad I drew all the hatching which isn't visible in the end anyway #also mimicking alcohol markers electronically quite sucks would you believe that #and every minute I stare at it I find another mistake so it's really about time to get done with it XD #but tbh in the end I'm pretty happy with it #it's quite nice warm feeling to it even if it's not completely typical colour scheme you would see on a sbr cover

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sullina · 10 months

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I believe the reason why Nimona turned into a Phoenix specifically in the final scene of the movie was not necessarily a (purely) artistic choice, but rather because Nimona wanted to live.

We know that Nimona can do pretty much anything, including turning into a fictional dragon and spew cereal instead of fire.

And she’s smart, we know that, too.

So I wouldn’t put it past her to be able to figure out a way, on the spot, to not die while throwing herself full force against a cannon that she knew was gonna kill her.

She knew she was gonna die, so she turned into a being that would always come back to life, because she wanted to live.

#nimona #so her coming back at the end wasn't just a 'just because' thing #which I'm pretty happy for tbh #nimona spoilers

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onlinehorseproblems · 4 months

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trying to figure out how to put "carol and the end of the world isn't about the ending of the world but it is but it ISNT but-" into words

#carol and the end of the world #adult animation #carol kohl #it's about community #and it's about now #but also not #AUGHGHHH #AHHHHHHHGGHHHH #bangs heads into smash i can't figure out how to say it #loneliness is so real and how once it's starts you get trapped in it #i saw someone say this show is pro work and NOOO ITS NOT ITS NOT ABOUT THAT #people yearn for normalcy #carol at the end of the 10 shows that she didn't want to go to work and have a job #but the creation of a reason to be together #happy hour #fhe office created a place for people to go #have simple #normal average conversations #tbh i'm pretty sure this is kinda about late stage capitalism and community but i don't have the words

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lunarharp · 5 months

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being attached to that moment qifrey held a baby one time and my ideas for the future :)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #brief small post before i return to Real and Emotional things again...but tbh...this makes me feel real emotions too #i think the manga will end up with a epilogue chapter showcasing little things in the girls' future and orufrey holding hands or kissing...#to like Indicate things. if it doesn't happen beforehand.#But. Who. Knows. also then i suddenly started thinking about them raising a baby for ages today because of how narratively poignant it'd be #for things to end that way after having raised almost-daughters all those years. and how healing it could be for qifrey and etc.#thing i said on twt: girls visit so often that the kid's first words are Professor Olly #“deja vu.. i'm not your professor kid - i'm your father!”#sorry but they are literally a gay couple where one truly is like The Mom and one truly is The Dad. to me #i think a housewifey homemaker type lifestyle would make qifrey happy. be harder now that he's disabled - well that's why he has his man.#i dont normally care about stuff like fankids or whatever..characters becoming parents for real..but like..Come on #This is the couple to think about this with.....they already ARE parents..i want them to be happy for eternity #once all the horrors are over we have to make it there.....children are so precious families are so precious....#i have bad relationship with parents personally and haven't interacted with children in years. And yet i still know that.#the fact that orufrey fight for children to be safe and educated and happy...qif wants to help coustas too..#aaaanyway today was a pretty weird and difficult day so i deserved to think about happy futures for a bit. i hear it's possible #btw i'm most sure about tetia becoming the princess of zozah. i think that will happen. and riche should have the ribbon tassel.

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crystariumoath · 2 years

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I want to line the pieces up—yours and mine.

#khgraphics #khgifs #khedits #Kingdom hearts #KH2 #KH3 #KH3 Remind #KH4 #my gifs #my coloring #not free to use #don't repost #kh sora #I can't sleep so ended up working on this and I got pretty picky with how I wanted it to look tbh #At first I was going make another Destiny trio post but went with just Sora for now #also I'm quite happy with recent posts considering I haven't made font gifs in a bit

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becca-e-barnes · 2 years

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becca, ari levinson is a filthy man and i love it 😩 but can you imagine stepdad ari fucking you on the kitchen counter while guests are in the room over. he could barely hold himself together seeing you in a cute dress, catching a glimpse of your panties when you ✨bent down✨ to pick something up 🤭

No bc Ari is filthy but Stepdad!Ari fucks

I can imagine him getting so risky with it because he gets off on knowing that there are guests in the next room over.

You've been teasing him all evening, running your hand across those broad shoulders, letting your touch linger just a little longer than you should. He also noticed how you'd been bending over in front of him, letting the skirt of your dress ride up the bare thighs he spends so long worshipping. He snapped when you set his dessert down in front of him, getting so close that only he could hear you whisper "you'll get a sweeter dessert later, sir." right against his ear.

That did it for him, your heart pounding in the short space between the dining table and the kitchen door while your stepfather made your apologies to a room full of people that weren't listening anyway.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He whispered, his words soaked in venom. "Are you trying to get caught?"

The correct answer is 'no' but your brain and your mouth didn't connect before you started speaking. "I can't help it, sir." Your voice is almost a whimper as the door closes, Ari leading you by the waist around to the other side of the kitchen counter.

"You can't help it? Even after I fucked you this morning? Your legs were shaking when I left your room and now you need more? You just don't quit." Ari bends you over the counter, facing the door you've just come through before running a huge hand up the inside of your thigh while the other presses down on the small of your back. No panties. And you're soaking wet.

You hear a low groan from him, one that makes your eyes flutter shut, enjoying the feeling of his fingertips drifting between your slick folds.

"Fuck, haven't laid a hand on you and you've got yourself all worked up. We're gonna have to make this quick, sweetheart." He knows he can't drag this out the way he'd like to. Someone is bound to need something from the kitchen within just a few minutes but now you've started, neither of you can stop.

You feel him slipping into you slowly, the blunt head of his cock breeching your hole, pressing deeper until he's slid home and there's no feeling quite like it. "Good girl, that's it. This dick is all yours." He coos softly, giving you just a second before he's pulled back and slammed into you once more.

"Keep an eye on the door, baby. You wanted all those people to see you be a little slut for me. This might be your big chance." His teeth are gritted, trying to work himself to orgasm while rubbing your clit frantically to tear yours from you too.

It takes everything in you not to wail at the pleasure. It feels incredible, getting what you wanted, being pinned to the counter and fucked frantically but you know you can't vocalise that.

"Gonna cum inside you, sweets. Don't want you to clean it up either. You're gonna go back in there and sit at that table with your legs crossed so my cum doesn't leak out. Wanna lick it out of you later. You promised me a sweet dessert, remember?"

#asks answered <3 #anon #becca writes spice #stepdad!ari #ari levinson smut #tw: stepcest #I went for bottomless brunch with the girls last Sunday #just a day drinking session tbh #we started at 1pm #and went until about 10pm #and we ended in a pretty little outdoor bar that has live music and good cocktails #I ordered a round of cocktails for us all and I felt really bad bc they were busy and we'd ordered a different cocktail each #so I asked the bartender to add a tip on before he rung it through the card machine #but he refused and said he'd rather have my number instead #tbh I forgot all about it #and I've just woken up to a text asking if I want to go out for a drink tonight #I honestly couldn't be less interested in anything like that rn #I'm very happy in my bed #listening to Taylor Swift and writing poetry #and whatever tf this was

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sylphwing · 2 months

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oh yeah here's all of the yakuza 0 / kiwami 1 & 2 characters as pokémon ✌️

#sylph.txt #pkmn #yakuza #yk1 #yk2 #y0 #i'm kinda annoyed that i assigned a girl as eevee bc that's boring but IT LITERALLY HAS HARUKA'S FACE so what was i supposed to do jdfk #same deal w yumi but she was decided after haruka so it's fine #i was also thinking of changing kaoru to kilowattrel or unfezant which may have been a better choice tbh #and kommo-o would've been a good fit for ryuji #i was gnna try to make it so that everyone who was related made sense in terms of the egg groups but i did give up on that in the end #my kuze pick is rlly funny to me bc of the implication that he got so mad he died ❤️ love u kuze #nishiki ofc had to b milotic bc he's a pretty boy and he has the koi thing going on (and the tufts look like his hair...)#anyway there r a few i think i could change but i'm generally happy w my selections 🤔 (<- this is my idea of fun apparently)

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baldurs-gate-official · 4 months

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All that trauma and bullshit and he still has the capacity to trust and have a healing journey?? To love? I think a lot of people don't fully grasp just how difficult that is

#bg3 #astarion #seriously #speaking from experience trust is HARD #I have friends. Plenty. Do I trust them? to a point. I trust them in the sense that I love them and trust them to be friends #I trust them to be there for me - to a point. I trust that they're trying (maybe I just don't trust myself to be worth it??)#But I don't trust them not to hurt me eventually. I'm always preparing myself for that #and I don't trust them to keep me safe. Even when they're bigger or stronger than I am #I'm always prepared to get in front of them if something happens. even if I know I'll get hurt from it.#feeling that way is tiring. but its so hard to turn off #I don't think I've even fully felt safe with/trusted anyone I've been with romantically. Not for lack of trying #tbh I don't think anyone can make me feel safe #or maybe I just don't give people the chance to. I probably don't #in my defense tho someone I loved deeply tried to murder me several times SO I think it's pretty damn understandable to feel this way #anyway my point is its really nice seeing Astarion able to achieve these things #trust. healing. a happy ending. love #all those things feel insurmountable in the face of trauma #i need to stop rambling like this #q

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throttlegainwell · 3 months

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Btw this is a first for me, pretty sure, but when I go into the As You Are tag (and I normally don't go into tags to begin with but still), it is wall-to-wall me freaking out over this movie. This is both hilarious and embarrassing. I am so, so very late to the party and so very, very emotionally horny over it.

#until this past year i actually didn't tend to post meta or really my thoughts on anything anyway tbh #and i've always had my blog set to be unsearchable so i never showed up in tags anyway before #look i'm not a terrifically social person online perhaps i've mentioned this before once twice a couple dozen times #this movie is occupying a space in my mind i didn't know existed #not that i don't love my share of obscure things i just don't talk about them like this #(i mean fuck i have a doc with myra breckinridge fic because i'm still fucked up over what she did to rusty and mary-ann #even though that's a fucking satirical novel not at all meant to be taken seriously)#anyway yes i will continue to be weird about this movie #btw i watched it again and you know what the soft gentle pretty happy music made me unbearably sad #because i know it won't last #watching them be happy and safe is actually incredibly painful knowing how it ends #as you are

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merge-conflict · 6 months

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thread-safe: cicada killer

Finally finished my narration of the second chapter of thread-safe, included below. It's about 10 minutes long- it did not feel that way when I was making it. There are some quiet weird background audio bits like a popping and an annoying high pitched hum and I don't know how to remove those, sorry. Did my best, even recording in my closet but my apartment is full of signals.

Synopsis: Goro has brought V back to Arasaka after she ran away, to meet her engram which has been turned into an AI and charged with being Big Brother at Arasaka tower in NC.

Transcript is below the cut. You can also read the second chapter on AO3 here.

cicada killer transcript:

There are so many things I need to talk to you about, but I’d be a fool to think I’m not under observation. I guess you know that. Is that why you never said anything to me before? Is that why you never said anything to anyone?

It’s how I would do it. I get it. I wouldn’t have left if I’d known. You know that, right? I would never have left. I guess I answered my own question, didn’t I? If you wanted me to stay all you had to do was say something– and you could have. They can’t watch you all the time. That’s what you’re for, after all.

But did you know? Did you suspect?

I need you to know. I want to think you do, but you think you know a man and you don’t know him at all. I should have known, but I didn’t want to. If you hate me for that, I understand. God only knows, I’ll understand. Did you think I wouldn’t?

My first visitor– is that you? But of course not. As if I could be so lucky.

This man is dead to me. But you and I and everyone else know that the dead can be relentless. These days the dead don’t just have unfinished business, they have unfinished careers. Ah– he doesn’t know what’s so funny.

I’d tell him myself, but I can’t. They can rip out every ounce of chrome with a logic chip on it, and leave me with no left hand and some beat up vocal cords and call that the bleeding edge of medicine. I should write them some promotional material. At least they replaced my eyes. I was blind, but now–

“V–“ says the dead man, always so formal. I actually warrant a bow. Is that his guilty conscience? “It is time we talked.”

I’m not interested in a conversation with him, but you know how he is when he’s angry. Impossible to shake off. Even harder with one hand and a body that feels like it’s been patched together with glue and rubber bands. In the case that you aren’t watching, I want you to picture this ending with a little more dignity, and without me sitting down on this cot out of breath and tagged with some button speaker like a juvenile delinquent.

“Takemura.” So you are watching. So you’re here. “What is it you would like to discuss?”

That stumps him. I think he’s a little surprised by it, but shouldn’t he know better? Maybe I’m a little surprised, too. It was what he said to me, before he packed me up like cargo: I can’t help you both. Well to be honest, my dear, it doesn’t sound like he’s helped you much either.

“You are angry with me.” Soft words. Should we feel sorry for his wounded heart? “But I do not understand why you will not speak to me. Why you would tell Hanako-sama that you did not want me to know you even existed.”

“Weren’t you happier not knowing?” you ask. How can you ask that?

“It does not matter if I am happy,” he says.

“No,” you agree. “Is that all?”

It’s not all– I can see it in his hands. He’s upset, and angry, and he wants to scream at me almost as much as he wants to speak to you. I think he’d be annoyed to learn that’s what it’s like with Johnny, too. I don’t think he understands any of this, but he’s trying, I’ll give him that.

“I cannot ask your forgiveness,” he says finally. Always so diligent about laying himself down onto the chopping block, meek and willing as a lamb to accept another black mark on his soul. Even now, when he’s seen what the afterlife is like for useful tools. “I do not deserve it. If you do not wish to see me, I will not bother you again. But if you–“ Hesitation, there. What is the polite way to address a disembodied soul? “If you need my assistance, I will be here.”

“Since Hanako-sama refused to send you away, I know that’s true,” you say. Oh, I don’t think he enjoyed hearing that. “As for the rest– let me have a look at you.”

You want a look at him? Very well. Only for you. Let me get to my feet.

The dead man is not small, of course– I think he is very close to average in size, as these things go, and perfectly capable of killing me in a dozen different ways even if he’s a head shorter. But I’d nearly forgotten how sleek he is, how light on his feet he is despite the weight of all that chrome. He’s been hovering so close I think he forgot I was even here, but he’s remembering now. Last time we stood like this he had his fingers inside me, and now that we’re looking at each other face to face I can tell you he’s thinking that too.

More than a dozen different ways to kill me, and yet our dead man doesn’t resist having his hair grabbed, or the indignity of having his head wrenched back– you did want a good look, didn’t you? He’ll suffer it all, this one. What else is there to see? Two eyes, a nose, his frowning mouth. They’ve already done some reconstructive work. I doubt they’ll let him keep the scars under those bandages. One is distinguished. A few more starts to look like negligence. Vulnerability.

He was so furious when I saw him last. He had the right to be, I know that. But I will never forgive him for not telling me the moment I walked through that door. Do you understand?

“Ask me anything,” he says now. “And if it is in my power I will give it to you.”

Too late for that. Did he tell you how it went? Did any of them tell you how it went? Ah, I see he knows what I’m thinking, but do you?

“That’s very generous,” you say. You don’t know. You can’t see.

Here, I’ll show you. Watch him closely. See that in his eyes when I touch his jaw? Guilt. Desire. When I kiss him, he proves he is not made of stone. Stone doesn’t feel self-loathing. Can a dead man feel hunger? I don’t feel anything.

“Takemura,” you say. Polite. Furious. “What happened?”

He has an answer for you but doesn’t know how to give it. I’m sure he hasn’t forgotten that we’re being watched, either. What happened, my dear, is that he was angry with me. We were angry with each other. But he waited until after we’d fucked to tell me about you.

“We had… an argument,” he says. He’s looking at me again, and not you. “I did not control my temper.”

“But you did your duty,” you say. “And now you come here and tell me you will do anything within your power. Do you remember telling me that you had nothing to offer?”

He says, “Yes.”

My dear. I don’t mean to brag about being in possession of our first form, but the heart they gave me is still tender, and there is only so long I can tower over someone, even for you. This is not defeat. Do you understand? I’m only tired.

“You expect me to be grateful,” you tell him. “For hunting down a piece of me and bringing it back in your mouth. So much for your gentle touch.”

You almost understand, but as much as I’d like to see him kicked it should be for the right reasons. Here now, his limp, obliging hand to my throat, do you see? For that only, I asked and he gave.

“What good are you to me?” you say, unheeding. Stubborn. “What good are you to me if you hurt the only part of me you can reach?”

“Do you wish me to leave?” he asks. He’s not hurting me now. He doesn’t want to touch me now.

“I don’t know the answer to that question,” you say.

Is this a kindness? It feels like a knife. I want to hurt him but if you ask me I’d probably do it all again; I don’t know any other way. And if I told him to go? What would be left? You could march the corpse of Arthur Fitzgerald Jenkins through that door and I’d take him to keep my claws sharp. Anything but another white, empty room.

It’s a cruelty to bind him again, especially to me. Especially to us, but especially to me, who can touch him like this– balling his shirt in my fist like a child about to cry. You and I know what it’s like to be pulled in different directions. And it’s weakness. I don’t know how you did this alone. I don’t know.

I don’t know.

“I understand,” he says.

You say, “That may not be within your power.”

I don’t know how he responds to that. I’m tired of looking at him. I wish I could talk to you properly, and I wish I could talk to you alone, and I don’t know if that will ever happen. I don’t know if you feel what I feel but I hope you don’t.

Still. Still, I like weight of his hand on the back of my neck. His lips pressed against my hair– it’s daring. Maybe the quickest way to get him sent away is to ask him to stay.

“I wanted you to be happy,” you say. “I wanted you both to be happy.”

#cyberpunk 2077 #podfic #my fic #thread-safe #goro takemura #twin human highway flares #is it fair to tag this as ship? I think so and I make the rules :P #each narration I find something new I wish I'd done but tbh i'm pretty happy #this piece was the most natural for narration #hope you enjoy hearing me choke up at the end. it called for emotion #valentine

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