#but like y’know I don’t really care

[teamfortresstwo]

In my head the first thing that actually comforted Vox at all while he was in hell was the radio playing some familiar song .

#I don’t think he really cared about Alastor though despite it being his show that played the song #like he tuned in on the regular but it wasn’t like something he really cared about #until they actually met and became.. close . not quite friends but something like it . #I think he still listens . tunes in . y’know . during the song segments especially #sorry I just have this very clear image in my mind of a newly dead Vox-still rocking a boxy TV for a head and dressed in mostly brown #and yellow clothe​s like the monochromatic color scheme you can see in some old cartoons . #And just dejectedly listening to the radio while curled up right next to it #and then a much more upgraded Vox just at a bar or something . still listening to that same radio . some things never change . #staticlovetune #THEYRE IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY

[agerefandom]

Oof slogging through fandoms that had most of their fics written in 2013 really makes me appreciate how good we have it now

#also I wish AO3 had an option where you could filter for ‘character/anyone’ #cause I don’t really care who they’re with I’m just craving fix-it content for one character #and tbh I like rarepairs but it’s hard to sort for finding new ships on AO3 y’know?? #I have a list of fanfiction complaints but this is vague enough to post lol #I should get people to send me fandoms and I will make a complaint about an aspect of the fanfiction trends lol #just kidding I don’t want to be negative but also it’s fun to complain sometimes isn’t it?? #hark I say nothing #not agere

[bog-horse]

anyway my issue with a lot of other helpols (which just makes me avoid the larger community and do my own thing in my corner) is that a lot of them are recon (which is fine!!!) but i am inherently informal and weird as shit in my practice. i call hades and hestia my spiritual dad/mom, hermes gets donuts as offerings when i’m trying to get to class on time and avoid traffic, i once asked artemis to keep deer from jumping out in front of my car on a road trip home with an offering of granola/sports bars. when people get too formal with the gods and pull out the titles, i usually bail bc it makes me uncomfortable. my relationship with my deities is extremely deep and connected, and it’s not that people who have more formal relationships with them can’t also have those, but it’s that if i called hades “lord hades” with any seriousness, he’d hit me with a rock, basically.

i don’t judge other people for their practices or more formal relationships bc honestly, it’s between you and your gods, but like… my go-to offering is the pomegranate brookside dark chocolates, and yes. sometimes i eat them out of my offering dishes the next day.

#i feel like recons are a lot more uhhh #noticeable on this platform? or maybe there really are just more of them #but i feel like us gremlin freaks aren’t very common on here #or maybe we just don’t get many posts bc people don’t relate as much or we don’t do the whole lists of offerings/altar ideas/prayers/etc #my list of offerings for hades won’t work for most people bc he’s very specific in how he reaches out to me #i have a severe aversion to mint. a lot of people put mint in their hades offerings and i know why #but i genuinely hate mint anywhere near me so i can’t use those #so i just don’t bother with a lot of offering lists and making them myself feels like letting people into my underwear drawer? like. that’s #between me and Him‚ basically. although that’s not to imply godspousing or anything i’m just using it as an easy example people will #understand. but yeah idk #i avoid a lot of the helpol community because i don’t feel like i fit in well #i am not recon and never will be bc it doesn’t vibe with my personality or lifestyle #i show my devotation in other ways‚ but those aren’t as easy to post online or share #and i don’t really want to share them either‚ soooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #pagan stuff #bones.txt #zeus gets titles when i work with him tho. i know he’s usually in good humor and the one time i made a bid to him for rain it went well #(after 4-6 weeks of processing time) but i still try to be extra polite to him #hades doesn’t care. zeus might actually strike me down with lightning y’know? #or at least threaten it idk

[daddys-radioactive-milk]

“You just don’t like the fallout tv show because you don’t like having fun >:(” What is this middle school?You going to say I don’t like Star Wars or flag football because I hate having fun? Stop defending the show and just enjoy it. I would rather you enjoy a show I don’t like than defend it against me.

You don’t have to paint everyone that disagrees with you on something as evil or in the wrong. It’s perfectly okay to like the show and it’s also perfectly okay to not like the show. It’s a completely neutral thing.

I just personally take Fallout more seriously. Which isn’t a slight on those that don’t. The world is full of serious shit and if you don’t want to take Fallout seriously then you don’t have to. You can get silly about it, but people who aren’t silly aren’t lesser or bad. There are people that take fallout seriously and still enjoy the show. That’s fine too. Everyone has different ideas and thats fine. All good things can (and should) be criticized, and all things criticized can be good as well.

Also I’m going to say it for the 30th time this month: if it’s annoying to you, block it. If someone says something you disagree with you can block them. Most of the time people don’t even know! “It seems petty.” <- you’re allowed to be petty and stingy about things. No one gives a fucking shit. You can even block me <3!

Also I’d recommend getting some nuance, but no one on the internet can handle doing even the bare minimum of that (sorry if this is salty sounding, but the amount of people who act like things are black and white (when it comes to literally anything) makes me want to cry).

#sorry if this is preachy or whatever (I’m actually not sorry) but I had to say this somewhere #also the people who just talk about enjoying the show make me like it a lot more than people complaining about other people not liking it #I don’t really like the show and the more I think the less I do. but I at least want people who like the show to actually enjoy it #I know this is fandom and the internet #but you’d be better off just not caring whether or not people like what you like #yeah fuck it I’ll tag this #fallout #fallout tv show #** ***** * *** **** **** #y’know why I’m fine with tagging it? I got the block button. and emotional regulation #(I know this is the piss on the poor website. but I am not fucking implying that whoever is reading this doesn’t have emotional regulation.)

[starlitangels]

Somebody help? Just a lil bit? I got smacked with a bad headache several hours ago and it made the Cognitive Distortions™ rear their stupid ugly heads

#‘none of your friends care about you anymore’ #‘which hurts worse than if they’d just never cared about you to begin with’ #‘you’re more of a burden than you’re worth dealing with’ #‘you have to be perfect or no one will like you’ #‘your husband’s gonna find out what a mess you really are and won’t love you anymore’ #y’know #the standard stuff #please help #funny memes or some nice words would be appreciated #my brain is mean sometimes #and it has to be mean to me because I don’t let it be mean to anyone else

[goldensunset]

messy sketch of the girlboss for today 🪡🍃🐈‍⬛

#shiki shiki shikiiiiii my beloved you are so sweet and so smart and so pretty and so incredible and- #the world ends with you #twewy #shiki misaki #so much disorienting angst potential with you also 💚 sometimes i really wish this fandom was bigger 💚 #fun fact did you know her first name means ‘four seasons’ #would love to do something themed off that someday but i’m too lazy lol #subaseka tag #mine: twewy #my art #i don’t feel like cleaning this up lol #also as for what she’s actually wearing uhhh idk i kinda just guessed bc you never see her full outfit in game #apparently the anime showed more of it but y’know i didn’t care enough

[flashhwing]

I need to confess something so I’m gonna put it in the tags and hope that nobody who Knows will see dhsksj

#THIS ISNT BAD OR DRAMA OR DISCOURSE OR ANYTHING this is me being like teehee I did something I’m not supposed to #anyway my latest dnd group is like a subset of an existing discord #so our dm created a thread so he can talk about campaign spoilers with the rest of the server #without us players seeing it #but secretly ………….. I check the tag regularly #IM CAREFUL THO about things #I only look at spoilers that pertain either to myself or the campaign at large #I DONT LOOK at anything to do with the other players and their backstories #(okay I did see ……….. one thing I’m not supposed to) #(but I PROMISE I can keep the secret! I can act like I don’t know!) #AND LIKE OKAY TO BE FAIR ALSO a lot of what I’ve seen is stuff that’s like. well I do not know what this means because I don’t have context #or like ‘here’s an npc that is blorbo’ #and since it’s a pre written module that I haven’t read but others in the thread have #the dm doesn’t expand on it so I don’t know what they’re talking about anyway! #and there were a few things I snooped on they went and later told me about privately anyway so y’know what. that’s fine dhsksjsh #I’m just a nosy person who enjoys spoilers okay and I don’t think I’ve done anything that’ll ruin things for me #OR ANYONE ELSE because despite appearances I CAN keep a secret #(okay the thing I know about another character would’ve been a really interesting reveal if I didn’t know) #(but since I do I can consider it. dramatic irony! for me and me alone mwahahaha) #delete later

[seventh-district]

vent post pt. 2, the dreaded sequel

#Seven’s Public Diary #vent #vent post #cw vent #cw vent post #okay the ‘never ever wanted to die’ part isn’t exactly true. i just don’t count how i felt from the ages of 12-15 or so #because that was a very strange time where i’m honestly not sure how much of what i felt was even real or honest #and how much of it was really just a kid needing help and expressing it very poorly #but from 15/16 onward or whatever exact age i was when i had my whole ‘oh holy fuck i really really don’t want to die’ crisis/awakening #from then i’ve always been vehemently on the side of life and wanting to live as long as i possibly can #which is interesting because things have done nothing but get exponentially worse and more difficult for me ever since #but smthn shifted in me when i realized Oh Fuck I Actually Want To Live and that desire has yet to be defeated #but anyways enough bragging about how much i don’t want to die lmao #it really does feel like bragging since it’s obvious to me that so many other people don’t feel that way #and i hate that. i wish no one ever had to deal with feeling that bad and death being the only thing their mind jumps to as a solution #sigh. anyways #i regret to inform y’all so i’m making this little announcement in these tags where hopefully no one will even see it lmao #but uh. unfortunately i’ll probably be delaying all of my creative endeavors for the next little bit #until i take care of the pressing real life issues that are weighing me down and until i am in a better environment #that will actually be conducive to my creativity instead of me struggling to make things while also struggling to just. like… live. y’know #and i know it’s not like there’s really anyone out there on the edge of their seat to consume anything i make #but this little announcement is more for myself than anyone else i guess. i have to almost force myself/give myself permission #to stop working on my various projects. and instead work on getting all of my irl ducks in a row. and get to a place where i feel safe(er) #because i’m really working against myself right now. cart before the horse almost. #so caught up in personal projects and future dreams that i’m ignoring the current growing issues in my day to day life #and i’ve done good in the later half of this year at beginning to tackle them one by one #but driving and potentially moving out of things don’t change here are the two biggest ones that i’ve yet to face #so i really have to accept that i need to change those and as a byproduct of that- stop dividing my attention onto so many other things #so my usual snail-pace of writing and video making (even tho the video making has mostly been behind the scenes work thus far) #is going to screech to an almost-halt while i focus on personal stuff. and next year should be much better as a result

[rahabs]

To the anons who sent my nice messages, thank you. I saw them and cherish them and right now I am hoarding them in my inbox like a dragon with its hoard, wherein the hoard is two really nice comments that I’ve been reading when I’m sad.

#My brain has just. Not been great #There’s a lot going on and I am just. Sad a lot #I’m sad right now #Sort of a strange realisation that no one ever wants me #And I don’t mean carnally I don’t care about that? #Just in general. It’s funny #For awhile I was chalking it up to PMDD but while it’s true the three days before are really bad #It’s not really great the rest of the time either? #But right now it can’t be about me y’know #Gotta keep it together for my sister who is finally leaving her shitty ex and then it got nasty #RCMP nasty #But yeah. I’ve been dwelling #Jobs don’t want me #It feels often that my family doesn’t sometimes #My dogs both like other people more than me #And you know with dogs… Idk #I guess I wanted to be somebody’s Person. even if that somebody was a dog #And one of my dogs loves me. But the other doesn’t #It makes me sad. Like even my own dog prefers other people more than me #Which is just sort of par for the course. Like I said I’m never the one who is really Wanted #I just hang around like a bad bloodsucking tick #It’s funny because I used to be such a fighter as a kid? #But while bad things happening made my sisters fight more #It just sort of crushed me. everyone commented on how it is very odd that I’m the quiet one now #The one who listens and just takes all the shit thrown at her from everyone #Even when I don’t deserve it #They tell me I don’t have to take it but idk. someone does #And in the past when I tried to protest it I just got more shit so it is sort of like #What’s the point I guess #Ran out of tags

[wiltingofthewhitelily]

one of my biggest pet peeves ever is when people beg and force you to consume *their* content (fanfics, art, etc.) but yet won’t touch yours with a 10 foot pole pfffft

#🌻 venting. #kinda?? #sorry if this seems passive aggressive but like #it really rubs me the wrong way #and is a big part of why i barely tell people about my fics anymore tbh #bc most of them just do not care #and yeah i get if you’re not really *interested* in what i write #but like #support a friend y’know??? #i’ve read fics and consumed content for things i’m not inherently interested in myself #and 9 times out of 10 i end up really really enjoying it #and yet people don’t even seem to give me a chance #and yeah i get the whole ‘write for yourself!!’ thing #and yes i 100% do that #but it would be nice to have more friends who clearly support it…… #/NBH btw for any of this #it’s mostly other friends or old friends who’ve done this to me #also. just to be clear i will HAPPILY consume any of my friends’ content /srs #just please don’t seem like you’re forcing me #and please at least just listen to *me* and *my* ideas

[kimtranssexler]

Sigh. I should stop drinking. It will become a problem eventually.

#I only drink at night but I find myself thinking abt it during the day #it’s so stupid cuz like. why am I even doing this? #but on the other hand why not?? #<there are many reasons #but I’m just kind of depressed and I don’t really care abt them y’know

[foolstemper]

there’s something that happens to me when i see someone enjoying something i like but what they’re enjoying is essentially y’know. “grunge” at $200. does that make sense? i go absolutely feral inside my own head when i see a kid dress “goth” and it’s y’know. very watered down. more fashionable. like GOD FOR FUCKING BID you not be attractive to your followers for one damn post. i mean, if you’re gonna dress “grunge” for clicks, go to a thrift store, buy cheap, ratty, ugly ass ill-fitting clothes, y’know? punk isn’t just ripped jeans and a pristine leather jacket. there’s more to these things. they go so much deeper than what people are giving them credit for. grunge has nothing really to do with clothing except for the idea of, y’know, “reduce reuse recycle” even if their intent wasn’t inherently eco-friendly. they were broke, y’know? they bought what they could afford and wore that shit until it disintegrated and i SWEAR TO GOD i will completely lose my cool if i ever see a pair of ripped tights on some high end fashion website again i WILL LOSE IT.

#personal #dress how ya wanna #i really don’t care #it just irks me to my core when stuff gets watered down #grunge is a silly word I KNOW but the movement #whatever you wanna call it #it was music with emotion and honesty and vulnerability #i have never found music like it before #not at that level #not that consistently for each band #y’know? eddie vedder could have been reading shit from my journals #it made SENSE #people were finally being honest and toning down the rockstar ego bullshit #so when i see people taking something so close to my heart and making it Fashion™️ #it fills me with this awareness that the beginning has ended #i wasn’t there to witness it’s birth #i wasn’t there for that shift within music #it brings this snootiness #this y’know fashion industry *what can we destroy and sell* sort of thing #this argument has been had 100 times before #and i’ve said nothing new #but i want people to be genuine again #i want people to care again #everyone is fucking jaded and no one wants to like what they like - only like what won’t get them hate comments #i mean c’mon y’know start liking things again! #i never held back and still don’t #i wore cosplay to an mcr concert in like 2009 #i had a fucking blast #no one’s weird comments phased me #and i miss seeing kids being like that

[despite-everything-im-not-here]

Hi I just wanna say that your sona character is adorable and I love 'em! :) Just!!! Beloved <3

Augh !

You’re gonna make me cry TwT

#I put a lot of thought and care into my sona cause like #it’s me ! #it took me a while to find a design that Fit Right y’know #cause of gender stuff on top of not-human stuff #I’m not really sure what to call the latter yet but #eh. it’s a process #and I know I don’t have to have everything all figured out #but I feel like this change in form is a step in the right direction so I’m really happy about that ^v^ #so yeah. thanks a lot :>

[winonakirks]

okay the una twist at the end would have been good if she had had like. 30% more presence and development throughout the series

#and also if la’an was still on the enterprise! #i love una i do but she really was not in the show as much as number one should be #so her being arrested is like. i’m sad but i don’t Care y’know #it was sadder when la’an left #or when hemmer died #number one #snw #captain’s log

[transboykirito]

for some reason this literally will not post as an actual ask so we’re doing this as a screenshot lmao xD

suguha would be SO supportive. she’s not always 100% sure of what to say but she’s a good listener and she does everything she can to show people that she cares. i can see her being the kind of person who sits with someone all night to listen to them ramble their thoughts, reassuring them that they aren’t alone and offering advice where she can

that headcanon still means a lot to me lol i maintain that reki unintentionally wrote a pretty decent depiction of bpd with suguha.

#anon #asks #bpd suguha tag #mine is… yeah. #it’s just really a mess. i recognise that i’m pushing people away and isolating myself again but like #what am i meant to do y’know? #the last week has been difficult in general but this discussion the last few days on here kinda just broke me a little #very exhausted. very tired. very scared. very fragile. very alone. and that’s what you missed on glee! #these tags are a mess don’t read these shut up taylor nobody cares akdbskdfb

[junepegbert]

brndnelas smmlsaaal

#ksospspspsuygsgdhdh…….&.&.$: #so anyways. #it’s soooooooo. unfortunate. #how much i hate the idea of being cared for #or well i don’t hate it #it just feels. wrong on every level #like all day today whenever one of my buds tried cheering me up i ended up wincing cause it felt so wrong #and like i love it and i appreciate it because it’s more than i could kindness than i’d ever dare ask for or much less wish for #but i still can’t get over the idea that i haven’t earned it or don’t deserve to feel bad or whatever #i mean part of it’s also how i struggle actively helping myself #ie there are things i know make me be better. but i actively chose to avoid doing them #because well on some fundamental level i don’t really want to feel good. like at the core of my being i do deserve to feel awful constantly #but i rarely do feel bad because i get used to whatever problems too fast #so i dunno. i guess i just hold onto whatever sadness or anything i get because it’s the closest to me ‘getting what i deserve’ that i’llget #and i don’t want these people i love to worry about me or even think about me in the context of someone who needs help but i’m still just. #like. some dumb kid y’know. and it’s so upsetting all the time #and i dunno i guess i could go on about my dad #and say something like ‘ah with him i had to earn love and respect! these people just love me no matter what and it feels wrong’ but that’d #simplify this way too much. i’m just kinda miserable at the core of the concept of ‘me’ #so i dunno. it’s hard. i don’t like it. and i don’t think i realistically can get better from it #because well i only ever day dream about getting *worse* #and getting everyone around me to finally see me for who i think i am and so they all leave me #but it’s so. i dinno. #vent