#but in terms of gender stuff it's easier and more pleasant if they think im cis

[gaytobymeres]

it's actually so sweet that I told my friends (all at separate times) I'm one of the bridesmaids at my brother and his fiancee's wedding and they all asked 'oh so are you wearing a suit?' and then got really offended/defensive on my behalf when I said I was wearing a dress. 'if it was my wedding I'd want you to wear what made you comfortable' kind of thing 🥺 like I don't mind wearing a dress for it, I have accepted that I will probably be forced to get a spray tan and will have to shave, wear makeup etc, and I don't really mind; I'm of the opinion that it's the bride's day and so I should just acquiesce, and I am really touched that she wants me to be a part of the wedding party. But it is also nice to hear my friends being protective of me and my identity and who I am as a person :')

#makes me feel hashtag valid #i think part of the reason theyre so protective is because they know me well #but they don't understand that i keep my general genderweirdness quiet from my family because it's easier that way #like my family are accepting and they know im a lesbian but i dont talk about it and neither do they probs bc i dont #but in terms of gender stuff it's easier and more pleasant if they think im cis #because lowkey they are transphobic #like i actually really like being referred to as ej (emma is also fine mind you) but i could never ask them to call me a diff name #whereas if i asked my friends they would 100% with no issue #im rambling #anyway its just nice to be known and also to have friends who will get offended on your behalf #even if youre not offended #they then also all said that i looked really hot in the dress (even though i dont feel it or see it) #also i want to reiterate i hold no negative feelings towards my future SIL about this shes really lovely #and also im at peace with wearing a dress like there are worse things lol #also also even if she was fine with me wearing a suit (she wants all the bridesmaids to look the same which is fair) finding a suit in the #right colour is actually really hard lol #also i wouldnt want to wear a suit because that would basically be like coming out to my entire extended family and um. no thanks. #theyll know if they need to

[kayvsworld]

hello!! if you don't feel comfortable answering this pls feel free to delete I don't want to pressure! its just I've recently started exploring my pronouns of 'she' to thinking she/they and was wondering what led you to prefer (?) the mix of both/how you realised? even if u dont answer thats ok!! I just really like ur blog and I think ur great for dealing with all these anons. have a wonderful day! :)

hey, no worries! that’s a super chill question!! 

tbh, how I noticed was largely bc of like...starting to interact with people on this blog specifically? and if they assumed I used female pronouns despite like...not...having that up anywhere or anything, i’d be kinda irritated? like why friend...why do u do this....like ur v much correct but Hey,,,,and then when people referred to me with “they” i was like “,,,,sweet....a good and nice choice....gender neutral art being. thx”. like i’m really not bothered by it anymore at at all, and i do like she pronouns v much, but it’s still super nice!

Also, like, just. I was a “““tomboy(TM)””” growing up and didn’t like,,, wear ““feminine”” clothing or makeup or consider myself super duper female until like...high school? when it was Officially Expected? I stress-cried about having to wear a dress and makeup to prom? presenting as female all the time was a v weird and stressful time and like i’m much more chill with the concept of femininity now that i’m at college where there are zero expectations and a fairly big lgbtqia+ community, but like, also, I’m also recognizing that there are definitely times when female pronouns just feel like. next level extra feminine and it doesn’t fit as well? an inaccurate description....so I like both!! on a much more embarrassing level, confession, I Used To Have Many Rp blogs, oh gosh, and they were Very low quality, but it was also super interesting to see the pattern that I only tended to ever write male/nb characters, even with OCs and stuff, partly bc it was easier to not immediately be assumed to also use female pronouns blah blah blah. a wide variety of deeply nerdy situations all led to this

Gender neutral terms & pronouns are Supremely Chill and Very Pleasant and while i’m not going to put a label on my current gender situation,, like,,,,Nice(TM) 

this is kinda super vague and probably unhelpful, but feel free ask me anything else off of anon and i can reply privately, or just IM me!! have a lovely week

#kayvswords #Anonymous