#but im just so tired of loving her

[real-life-cloud]

:(

#the sky speaks #vent time!! #tw suicidal ideation #i wish i could just hate my mother it would be so much easier #but shes trying so hard and in so much pain #but shes so TIRING to be around !!!! #she got in a wreck this evening. she was drinking and driving around to all of people who don't talk to her anymore #shes getting a dui i guess? #and this is just one thing in a looooong list of shit shes pulled #ive heard her scream and sob so much today. but now shes also saying she wants to die. over n over #full on existential crisis. she feels no purpose and is so lonely #she left this morning to go shopping tyen just never came home. my dad asked me to call her and she answered and just said #i can't. im sorry. and hung up on me. then she turned off her phone and we didnt know where she was for a half hour #and i was so fucjing worried that shed killed herswlf or somthing i couldnr even remember rhe last thing i said to her? #i hugged her for so long when we finally got home #but im just so tired of loving her #shes still down there crying but i cqnt listen tk her anymore. my head is pounding. i wanna sob. i never wanna cry again. #i kinda wanna die too but i feel like i cant tell anyone really. moms such a mess how could i possibly put these feelings onto dad or thomas #and not mom. god. shes thw reason i feel like that. evwry time. im so tired of her falling apart that id rather not be here. #if i had just sucked up being on my period and went shopping with her today this wouldn't have happened. but that shoyldnr be how it is!!!!! #im allowed ro stay home!!! i shouldnr have to babysit her!! but ive felt like i was HER mother aince i was 17 #im just so tired

[haunted-xander]

Well, I guess you didn't have much of a choice either

#sooooo fucked up being a teenage boy just messing around with friends one day #and the next weird monsters are after you #and suspicious guys youve never met before start telling you you shouldnt even exist #and even the gentle girl who seems to know SO much that you met #says you have to disappear #all for the sake of this one boy youve never heard of #who apparently everyone loves and wants back #even if it means essentially killing someone else(you) #and youre expected to just. follow along and sacrifice yourself for him #even though you are also a real perosn with real friends (or so you believe) #and at the end you do it #because youre tired and confused #and part of you feels like it should do it #that its the right thing to do #even though you still dont know anything bc no one will tell you #except for the girl but everyone always goes out of their way to stop her #anyway im rambling the kh2 prolouge is so fucked up when u think about it #roxas #sora #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 2 #kh #kh2 #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art

[spacedlexi]

"sounds nice... having a partner"

#the walking dead game #twdg #violentine #clementine twdg #violet twdg #MAANN when clem says this in s3 JUST WAIT BBY #people who say clemvi has no basis like ep2 isnt just them working as a team for 2 and a half hours regardless of player choice #like be fr #clem telling louis that violet patching up the back wall is ok because she needed something to keep herself busy. married behavior #vi asking clem to help check in on everyone while she deals with the wall. their shared smile when she comes back outside :) #and then they sit in the leadership spot together overlooking the yard and everything theyve planned together coming to fruition :) #sorry i just think their romance set up in eps 1 and 2 is obvious as FUCK and im tired of (Some) people pretending it isnt #'i havent seen her warm up to someone in a long time' brody literally tells clem that vi seems to like her after its been 24 hours #after shes been a block of ice for a whole year. and clem just melted those walls down immediately while they fought walkers together #violet is so devoted to clem post ep1 its embarrassing for her #'i saw she had you pinned and i- shit i got So crazy...' sorry if you dont think shes in love with clem idk what to tell you #'i'll tear that boat apart before we leave without you' i know you would girlie!!! #the animators went CRAAZAYAYAYAY the way they look at each other... their little smiles at each other....even before the belltower #the way clem looks at her while they dance.... the way she puts her head down on her shoulder so contentedly.... #and then she keeps her head on violets shoulder as she pulls away so clems chin gets dragged with it like she doesnt want to let go #'so you never forget that night' 'i never will' they are DISGUSTINGLY in love with each other it makes me physically ill #its 2024 and im still hearing 'i just didnt see it :/'. lazerbeams you #spaced art 2024

[freaky-flawless]

Dead Tired Honey Swamp

Shout out to @deuces-stone-cold-style for the nightgown inspo!

#monster high #monster high fanart #monster high g1 #honey swamp #dead tired #finished this a couple days ago but couldnt post it #cuz my laptop battery decided it had had enough and finally went caput on me #i have a replacement coming within a i cant really draw until then and im super bummed about it #anyway this drawing was funny #i kinda hated it but thought if i could just add some color that it would help #and it did i love her #shes one of my most detailed mh designs so drawing her is always a doozy #i wanna design a dt wydowna to match because they are ghoulfriends #also sorry the nightgown isnt that accurate to the actual reference #i dont think honey is particularly a lace ghoulie which is why i went with the wispy plant fringe #and i really dont like drawing floral patterns i just used the csp presets 🥲 #i know the dt dolls come with little accessories but she gets a blankie #and i couldnt fit the sleep mask because i refused to get rid of the bow on her bonnet #id in alt #my art #sabz art

[tytangfei]

I still am not over the choice to turn parts of pan yue's hair white. He's menacing, he's merciless, yes yes, it's what he portrays outwardly, but also visible to everyone else are those streaks of white, his grief in full display, and not a single person thinks he is mourning his dead wife. He is cunning and secretive, but not with this. He could've dyed it back to black, but he doesn't, and so displays his greatest heartbreak, and no one sees this vulnerability.

#in blossom #it's just there and no one not one person thinks he's mourning her #those pieces of white hair drives me up a wall #pan yue #i am not coherent sorry im so tired but i love love the white hair choice #liu xueyi #jina watches cdramas

[lessthanimpressedlesbian]

The way Marisha's eyes flickered down right before she said "I kiss her again" will live in my head rent free forever

#critical role #critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #laudna #imogen temult #imodna #marisha ray #i posted and deleted this last night because i was tired and wasnt sure if i was seeing correctly #but yeah #i 100% believe that's what laudna did and it makes me completely certain she's in love with imogen too #she may not realize it but her feelings run deep for imogen #imogen gave her the reassurance she needed and laudna was overcome with the need to kiss her again #also i do not ship marisha and laura i just think marisha was in character #also i dont know for sure if she looked at laura's lips but her eyes flickered down right before laudna kissed imogen #so im gonna run with it

[cosmicrhetoric]

the continuous focus on birds and birdsong in monstrous regiment is one of my fave bits just because we know the only reason polly has all that background knowledge is bc of paul. and even when she has that moment of not wanting to admit that she wants to get paul back partially for selfish reasons she was still the person in his life that paid attention enough to remember everything he loved/knew about birds lol. he's not really haunting the narrative he's just kind of chilling back there but ANYWAY lol polly perks could do antigone

#whenever theyre in a new location polly is always letting some bird info into her description of the setting and its just bc of paul #monstrous regiment #like. that's her brother. the birdsong footnote is funny but thats her BROTHER and she cared enough to be able to identify birds from a #great distance that weren't even native to their country so um that's thee manifestation of weird sibling bonds #the line about the colored pencils is soooo crazy. someone got him some colored pencils and she will love them 4ever #discworld #polly perks #gnu terry pratchett #paul perks #im so tired post diwali workday is killing me but im playing the events of mr behind my eyelids during meetings

[wizardsix]

people want evil women so bad until we finally get one that's also romanceable and suddenly everyone is real quiet.

#coming out as a minthara enjoyer i love her #i dont want to fix her i want to join her #the only fixing ill do is freeing her from the absolute so she can be as evil as she wants on her own terms<3 #minthara baenre #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #six speaks #i literally just started my evil run and . sorry but it's actually so fun #tired of being nice. evil now #morals fly out the window with larian characters im also Team Emperor idc if hes evil

[shorthaltsjester]

i do not want to dig a hole but i am too much of a laura bailey pc enjoyer to not make this post so:

selfishness ≠ a lack of kindness 

selfishness is a theme that has come up with all of laura's main campaign pcs. that doesn't mean that her characters are always making selfish choices or that they don't care about the rest of the people they're with or that they're not good. it's just that, for the most part, the first thing they're thinking of when they take action or make choices is themselves. 

in jester and vex both it is more typical and obvious selfishness. vex's developed because she needed it to keep herself and vax alive and as safe as possible and it grew into a behaviour that she had to actively work to avoid. it's evident in her greed, her theft of the broom, her reaction to her own death which relied heavily on i'm okay/i survived to which keyleth reminded her that she wasn't the only one who had to witness and reckon with her death. in jester's case, she grew up in an environment that literally trained her to make every decision based on two things - her mother's opinion and her own. so, when she's out in the world without marion for the first time, her choices are those that will benefit her and her actions are those that consider her own thoughts and not really many others' (aside from the traveler's). 

it isn't a criticism of either vex or jester to say that they are characters who act selfishly. in fact, i'd argue that to claim otherwise does a great disservice to exactly how immense both of their character arcs are. because the nuance of both jester and vex is that they are selfish, and they also hold extreme room for self-sacrifice and empathy. vex is much more brash than jester is, and jester is much more trusting than vex, but both of them are characters who begin with selfish impulses who grow with them. neither ever truly shed those impulses, but they use them in new ways, typically transforming them into impulses towards things that are in the best interest of the party. 

you may have noticed the lack of imogen in this post about laura bailey pcs and that's because of two reasons. one, we are an unknown amount of time into her story, i can't analyse her development the same way i can vex and jester's. two, imogen's selfishness isn't the blatant quasi-self-aware selfishness that we see in things like jester complaining about her lack of money to caleb or vex stealing a broom. instead, imogen's is very internal, like a lot of laura's character work with imogen. it is a bit similar to jester’s in the sense that it comes from a lack of awareness moreso than vex’s practiced behaviour, but imogen’s is a lot more tied to inherent beliefs she has about the world and the people in it.

as a consequence of her powers, imogen sees people's thoughts as their entirety, she holds it above their actions to be the truth of who they are - to act against what they think or to say something that doesn’t cohere with what they’ve thought is akin to lying, so for her to act empathetically is to act in tandem with what someone else’s thoughts are, not how they act, which is typically not all that wanted. the same as vex’s greed and jester’s naivety, this is a trait that makes narrative sense and it’s one i find quite compelling, especially when read in the vein of someone struggling through trauma that has made them assume that the world is against them. imogen’s cynicism is coherent cynicism, i can’t say that in a similar situation i wouldn’t have the same predisposition towards the world.

the part that is particularly self-interested comes in if you look at how imogen has actually been treated in the campaign (quite well) in comparison to the cynicism that she’s developed from her past (something that speaks to a world out to get her). certainly, a bunch of shitty things have happened to imogen in the time we’ve known her, but the same can be said for everyone in bell’s hells and pretty much everyone in exandria at this point in time. but, in a fight to save the aforementioned world, imogen’s focus was getting her mother back on her side. which, while very consistent with her character and a choice that i enjoy, is a very selfish one. the fun thing (to me, obviously) about imogen is that she has, more than most, an insight into the opinions of others and she also tends to seek others’ opinions out and genuinely engages with them and supports their choices. but she still very much acts towards what she thinks is best. it’s one reason i enjoy looking at the dynamic between her and orym as one between foils, as orym tends to be stalwart in his beliefs and doesn’t care too much for other’s opinions if he’s already sure of his own, but his actions tend to favour collaboration and protecting others.

as i mentioned earlier, imogen is a harder case to look at because she is still in the process of her story. however, the circlet is clearly influencing how she interacts with the world and in the wake of the solstice, the hostile reaction towards ruidusborn people has started to become more and more apparent and i’m interested to see what route that ends up leading imogen down and how it will influence her relationship with the rest of bell’s hells. (for better, i think, based on recent conversations, but if it's for worse i will be just as seated and excited).

all of this is just to say, please stop assuming that claiming a character has a trait you think is a bad one is criticism or a hate post. in light of the fact that i know that people who don’t believe this will continue to not believe this, i’ll encourage anyone confused about the ability of a character to be good and kind and selfish all at once to look to what the text itself says, specifically scanlan’s words to pelor when asked what vex means to him:

“Her name is Vex, and she is greedy and mean sometimes, and she can steal a lot. She’s a little bit not the greatest person, but her flaws highlight everything that is right about her, which is she does all these things to protect her friends and her family. She would give her life for any of us and for anyone who was truly in need. And she’s not perfect but she’s the most perfect of all of us.”

would you look at that... an ability to be a multitude of things, some in conflict with one another. i know that's hard for fandoms to believe, especially about female characters with agency, but i promise its true!

#deeply unfair of laura to make three characters with some type of people skills and morality shaped by their loneliness #and what. i’m just supposed act like i’m normal about that? #this is me blog and i have slightly more time than usual to write nothing essays about fictional characters that haunt me #but dear god . lookin at cr characters and denying their flaws is like looking at a house and only seeing it’s doors . #if ppl demand perfection of fictional characters im genuinely curious in what media they’ve ever found that . #a single imogen post of mine broke containment and it skyrocketed my annoying phil student levels so. alas #but . if you agree that imogen had an incredibly isolating life . i will emphasize that isolation causes traits and behaviours #that aren’t just Quirky or fun or hot anger or whatever #imogen contains so much i love her so much i am bursting at the seams about it #but for some ppl. she is ur ‘girlfailure’ until someone suggests a way she might be girl failing by being selfinterested #what is the truth. do u want her to be an actual girlfailure it do u just want her to suit a . frankly tired. trope about lesbians #anyway . both text and tag rant over . goodnight #cr meta #imogen temult #vex’ahlia #vex’ahlia de rolo #jester lavorre #critical role #my posts

[moeblob]

Ven had a really long nap. It's time for the adults to have a nap.

#kingdom hearts #aqua #terra #im a huge aqua fan but also terra is so funny bc he tries so hard and cannot not mess up #poor dude is destined to be a cosmic screw up and yet he doesnt give up #what dedication........... truly admirably stupid and foolish #love the funny man.... #and then aqua just tired mom protecting her friends to the best of her ability and doing much better of a job #though the kh3 terra made me happy to see him un-norted

[pup-pee]

aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i havnt drawn in a little

#I 4GOT CISSIES EARRIGG BG S #HITS TVSLE AAAAAAAAAA IM 2 LAZY 2 GO BACK IM SRRY GORLIE :((( #just a kint of konbart as a treat 4 me ig #4every piercing kon has; the more pronouns she attains #if i explained my thought process whenever i draw kon it would just be hehehehehehheehheheheheehe #heart glasseess!!!! i need 2 find more fun glasses shapes 2 draw her in tbh tbh #i did light shading & my head starts hurting godAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #i havent been on ib like a while & theres sm posts omg yummy im looking @ all my moots & kickin my feet omgg tehe #i need 2 try 2 sleep get rid of this headache b4 i continue 2 stare @ my screen tho….. i prolly wont i wanna talk im tired of bing sad LMAO #more kart 2 day ((literally prolly tmr)) #ive been thinking about aus sm this is so its so woahhhh #kon el #kart #puppee art #GAAAAHHHHHH I WANNA EXPLAIN MY STUPID HCS 4 Y I DRAW KON LIKE THISSS #i dont bc im 80% sure ill b ripped apart but like i love talking about them i love talking about kon sm #@ least i do 2 my doggie

[spacedlexi]

people who think clem surviving makes no sense are so funny. "they were literally foreshadowing her death the entire season" let me introduce you to the concept of a red herring. she tells lilly she isnt lee and shes right. the narrative was forcing her down that path, a path she saw as an inevitable fate waiting to take her too, but its a narrative broken by aj, who is also his own person and not S1 clem

"it happened to lee, and itll happen to you" lilly tells clem she'll die protecting aj from some mistake he makes, when in reality his defiance of her will is what saves her life after she had already accepted her fate. he breaks clem free from the lee cycle and they get their relatively happy ending. good for them

#anyway in the commentary they talk about how they Were going to have a death ending but didnt like the idea of the good/bad ending #and how people would moreso try to avoid the 'bad end' which i understand and appreciate bc thats usually what happens #so instead they gave us both :) idk why some people seem to have such a huge problem with that #they broke the cycle :) the ericson kids broke the cycle by being a loving community :) they all break the cycle by refusing the delta #lilly and minnie were both lost to the cycle. lilly with her dad and minnie with lilly #minnie couldnt let go. clem almost did the same and it would have killed her too. but aj makes a Choice and it saves her #god even tho clem is noticeably happier in s4 shes still so gd depressed and Tired. she accepted it so fast im so glad he saved her #like idk you saw her come back on screen after that massive fake out and you got Mad?? i was crying twice as hard #i know ive made this similar post before but like i still see this criticism in 2024 and i just have to laugh now #it speaks #twdg #i just love the narrative threads of S4 bro.... seasons 1 and 4 are two sides of the same coin and i love that. its satisfying

[crithaus]

Been seeing so many tweets abt it and I wanna get back on yonder soap box for a second cuz I have my own musings

I had always wondered if Vax would show up when Vex was drowning in Dalen's Closet and then when he didn't I wondered why and mused that barring the above table reasons of this being a game with set rules and Matt can't just deus ex machina their way outta all their scraps, that below table the Deal Vax had already made with RQ for Vex's safety was all the flexing she would allow him to do and then voila Vex comes back anyhow, and I think it's important to note that as Vex was dying Liam slipped out of Derrig's character, something he doesn't do much, and into Vaxbrain ("We had a deal, Matt.") to Express how unhappy he was that Vex was drowning and the deal he'd made was being routed and I think that's proof enough that Vax would if allowed absolutely come down there and rescue his family from any and all scrapes if he was able to,

Now with this latest episode, We saw Otohan bedecked Paragon's Call with RQ's symbols, we know Otohan has the poison that prevents you from being rezzed which is an affront to RQ's domain and position if I've ever heard one, we know the attack on Kiki was on purpose and possibly to get RQ's attention, get her looking and all, and this whole situation with Ludinus is the biggest threat yet faced to all the gods and all their domains,

And that's why she let Vax through the gates this time, just in time to wrest that permadeath dagger away from the heart of the love of his life. I don't think Vax could have been there without the requisite chips falling where they did, without RQ letting him, I think the thought that he busted through all of those gates unprompted and w/o permission is a little disingenuous because Vax would want to do that for any and every one of his family members every day all the time forever, but it makes perfect sense that as the Raven Queen's champion he would be sent down to stop Ludinus from freeing Predathos and it makes perfect sense for Vax to veer off from his official business, to shirk his responsibility and use the opportunity given to go to her, to do such a grand and meaningful gesture for his one true love, and tl sound so unclouded and present while doing so, I mean

This is Vax we're talking about. The guy who looked death (death herself both times y'know, Otohan and her dagger and RQ, two sides of a coin or something) right in the eye, twice, clutching his girls to him and telling that nigh all powerful entity to fuck right off cuz they can't have these girls he loves more than life? Peak Vax behavior. To know he's been watching Keyleth for so long finally seized his moment to help her, and did so with gusto? True love. The purest kind, the Vax-iest kind. Not even death can stop his love for her, for Vex, for Vox Machina.

And I think after this all is over they need to renegotiate the terms of Vax's service so he can stay back past the gates with the rest of his family cuz RQ is a stingy bitch and should have been MUCH laxer with gate-crossing privileges, I mean Vax has more than earned it now

#critical role #critical role spoilers #otohan thull #vax'ildan #c3ep51 #ludinus da'leth #the bells hells #vex'ahlia de rolo #keyleth of the air ashari #the moment was beyond sweet and painful and keyleth deserves so much more than just a glimpse of him but im tired of seeing the #smug 'vax broke past all the gates *only* for her' like kiki is the only person vax cares about like vm is just about romantic love and #it makes me sad cuz vm is about love that transcends all boundaries and borders and he'd do #did and will do again that for all of his loves his and kikis relationship is so much deeper and richer in the whole context of vm rather #than just their romantic partnership

[turtletoria]

look at my sketchbook boy

#turtlearts #wordgirl #wg #becky botsford #dr two brains #steven boxleitner #my ocs #heehee last page is my brain blorbos!!!!!!!! finally!!!!!!!!!! #the tired one is named elise and the mustached one is named pranav. for now bc im persnickety #ok who am i kidding theyre just rehashed versions of frankenstein and boxleitner. im sorry #i love me some mad scientists and this time i have free reign #also im so happy with becky's hair now #i got really frustrated with how i was drawing her hair because it just didnt make sense to me #so i looked up a reference for curly hair with headbands and now she looks so adorable i dont think i can go back #i quite like how her hair looks now and its fun (and easier) to draw!

[theeflowerofcarnage]

they will never free my girl nina from that atrocious hair

#simblr #my sims #dina caliente #nina caliente #i think i figured out what was tripping me up abt thier new look #n its that i always thot sims 2 nina n dina had a more warm orange undertone this new one seems more cold or nuetral #w the hair n makeup it looks funky on them #it doesnt match thier undertones so they just look tired in this look i feel the same about what they did to bella goth she cant wear #bright reds like the first bella did shes a dark wine red girly now #im keeping my OG dina makeover just toning down the eyes i love her too much even tho she doesnt really look related to nina #ah well in my head thier still aliens but scary looking this is just thier human disguise #not making them real aliens in game tho it fucks up thier faces so im using cc costumes but shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[cashmere-caveman]

The Terror Episode 1 "Go For Broke" & 10 "We Are Gone" | Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Idiot | Carlos Fuentes | Chris Abani, Prelude | Danusha Laméris, Fictional Characters | Rainer Maria Rilke, The First Elegy (trans. Edward Snow) | Sue Zhao, Where to begin? | W. H. Auden, Marginalia | Dalton Day, One-Act Play In Which There Is A Blueprint, & That Blueprint Is Ignored Entirely | Hanif Abdurraqib, ALL THE TV SHOWS ARE ABOUT COPS | Chris Abani, Dog Woman | Len Verwey, Rehearsal Notes | Lena Khalaf Tuffaha, Lullaby | Rainer Maria Rilke, Go to the Limits of Your Longing (trans. Joanna Macy)

Image descriptions in ALT

#the terror #francis crozier #silna #james clark ross #caveweb #i mean technically this is also kind of abt #rossier #but eh. this is about many things. including silna/goodsir and crozier/jopson and colonialism and guilt and The Narrative but im tired so #no big rant. i just love silna. and i have very many thoughts abt her and crozier. also abt him solo but i cant articulate them so take thi #but yeah i love nuance also sorry for being v literal w this sometimes i just had a thought 2 weeks ago and had to do sth abt it #the thought was [terror x rilke] bc the last give me ur hand bit came to me in a vision but then this grew like five new heads #anyway i need to SLEEP. goodnight ilu