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erin-epica · 4 years

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Woop-de-doo, it's Lord Scarlet stuff part 2

This was a post I planned on making WAY sooner, but I accidentally lost the original draft so I didn't even bother to try doing it gain until recently. And just now something happened that changed everything; and I mean what both DID and DIDN'T automatically give me the right to post this. I almost deleted my first post at that, and here's why:

In the first post, I mentioned that when I initially found out Vic was lying to me, I was quiet about it and just stopped talking to her out of fear, and then when I asked for help on what to do I was told to leave without a word. I don't think that was entirely the right thing to do in the long run, because it may have been the easiest way out but I'm better off with proper closure.

And the thoughts she left me scarred with never left my head. Time and time again, I'd find myself crying myself to sleep again at the thought of Brock forced to hide romantic feelings for Master Frown and not know who he was anymore while Frown was left unaware and in love with someone else, even if it wasn't Lord Scarlet.

And the pain sometimes came with a want to confront Vic one last time and open up to her about how I wasn't blind anymore, and how much she really hurt me. But I, again, wass scared she wouldn't care and would cut me off.

So when the pain got worse, I did what any coward would do: tell everyone else about my pain.

Now I DID tell friends of mine other than the Unikitty Amino staff about what happened, and they were all sympathetic and understanding about it. But then I told almost everyone, and then made my vent post on here (as well as Wattpad). As much as I wouldn't want to call them call out posts, they might as well have been. I didn't want people to harass Vic and make her mad...but at the same time I kinda did. I was too scared to face her that I was hoping that someone would do it for me. I even tagged accounts of Vic's. Not cool of me at all.

Now the Tumblr and Wattpad posts got me pretty much more of the same: sympathy, and acceptance that I had moved on. No one came after Vic but we could still agree that none of her actions were justified (I even got @careeningle's attention...sorry about the aneurysm)

Now comes the next important thing that happened, because I mentioned @friffinx kinda being responsible for me getting back to the Lord Scarlet Amino to write the message that I did. In it, I said that after I sent the message I did I would leave the Amino again & for good.

Well...I lied. I still checked in every day for the same reason I started venting: I kinda wanted Vic to see my message. Even if she'd ban me, I wanted to see if she'd ever notice my message. And that would've been the end of it if it wasn't for Brook.

I briefly mentioned Brook in the last post. She was another OC of Vic's, and was exactly to Brock what Lord Scarlet was to Master Frown; a carbon copy love interest. Except Lord Scarlet was far more developed and drawn & written about more. Brook didn't even really have a distinct personality, she was a girl Brock and that was it. But with reptilian overlord eyes. (To be fair, Vic drew Brock like that sometimes too)

(I didn't include Vic's art unless it was in chat bgs or whatever in the last post, but for the sake of referencing/proving a point, this is what Brook looks like)

No one really paid attention to her for the longest time. She was there in the fanfics because according to Vic, "Scarlet needed a friend." And like I said in the first post, Brook wasn't said to be canon so I never found a reason to really care for her. Plus I can only recall someone giving Vic fanart with her, and it was with Scarlet (@plastic-papercuts made it, go follow her she's gr8).

But then one day, for some reason, something in me clicked. I actually thought of a story idea for her. Somehow this bland cutout of a character had potential in my eyes, and I weirdly started liking her because of it. She suddenly felt...more real. I got pretty invested in my idea and newfound interpretation of Brook, and describing it would make this post way longer than it is so if anyone asks about it, I'll probably make a whole other post about it.

Anyway, I came up with a little plan: draw out this idea in the form of a comic and post it to the Lord Scarlet Amino. And see if Vic gets suspicious and checks out my profile and then maybe bans me. It felt a bit better than total silence and she'd probably see that someone gave a crap about Brook after all.

So I started a new chat called "It's Brook" to share my progress with the other members of the Amino, which there weren't too many of but we had fun in it. It was basically me, @friffinx , @soapycocacola, @plastic-papercuts, and a few others who aren't on Tumblr (or at least don't think are) chatting about how awful Vic was and calling out her lazy art tactics like tracing and using assets/clips right from the show. And of course me sharing the comic progress I was making. Again, this doesn't make anything we did right but it felt good getting everything off our chests. We were like a secret rebellion against an absentee dictator. One time Vic came online as we were chatting and even viewed my profile, but nothing happened. And it stayed that way until I opened Amino up one morning. For those of you who don't have it, the menu shows all the communities you're in when you open the app, and all of mine were there except for the Lord Scarlet Amino. I assumed I must've been banned overnight. But I wasn't banned from Vic's other Amino so I commented on her wall on that one. For Vic's sake, I won't show how the conversation went (and I'll explain why at the end) but here's how it went:

Me: Did you ban me from the LS Amino?

Her: There was drama in one of the chat rooms and I'm not having it. I didn't want to do it and it's not a big deal It's just an amino and you're still on this one AM I RIGHT?

Me: Yes, but I assume you read my updated bio. As I hoped you would.

Her: Nope.

Me: Oh. But you know what? Ban me from here too for all I care, I feel like you deserve to know why I left and came back: *insert me finally telling her how I know she lied, that she hurt me, and what I did was wrong here*

Her: Lol ok be that person but keep in mind that I'm one of those people that doesn't gibe a fuck lol

And then she banned me from that Amino too before I could type and submit a fitting farewell reply.

At least I finally got all the built-up emotional pain out of me, but it did help me realize something important: we never really were friends. I wanted more of her content despite all her red flags as a person so I tried enduring them, thinking it'd be worth it, and she only kinda cared about me when I was being a yes man. She never kept any promises and didn't respect me the same way I did her. So I could at least feel confident knowing she most likely didn't care at all when I first left.

@friffinx and the others didn't get banned, though, and Friff even started another chat on the LS Amino called "It's Brook 2" where they talked more about Vic being a terrible person. And it didn't take long for her to shut that chat down too and ban everyone from it that time. Friff sent me screenshots of what happened next (which again, I'm not gonna show), where Vic basically had a meltdown. She changed her username to "Little Miss Guillotine", and made a post about her being "finished with the bushit". In it, she announced that she didn't even like Unikitty! anymore but was still gonna keep/use Lord Scarlet because she wanted to. The part that made my blood almost boil wasn't her views on the show, she's free to have her opinion and I couldn't care less about it. What DID was that she acknowledged that she lied the whole time because "she didn't care anymore" and said that it was "our faults for believing it in the first place" and that "we needed to grow up"/"stop brining it up"

Ooooh boy, victim blaming, my favortie...

Since then she changed the Lord Scarlet Amino's theme to make it about The Penguins of Madagacar (again, fine with me). Either way she was still a narcissist and I thought she'd, sadly, likely never change. And my friends and I all thought that was the end of it.

Until a few hours ago...

I was browsing the Unikitty Amino and saw a new member named BlueCat. Didn't think anything else of it until the user PMed me. And this is what happened:

I didn't know what to think other than "I thought this day would never come", I was that shaken. This was so left field-ish that what else could I do but believe her? It didn't even seem suspicious or like she was trying to be a suck up, that wasn't Vic at all.

But the one thing I knew I had to do was ban her because even if she meant well and did it for the right(?) reasons, but I still asked if I should in the staff chat. @girly-glorious (also amazing so pls check her out :D) told me that yes, it was ban evasion so since I'm a leader too now I could to it on my own. But I knew I had to message Vic first and Girly told me to be careful, so this is what I sent:

And then I banned her, the end (not really)

Now I don't understand how or why this sudden behavior change happened but I don't know if I should question it in case it's personal. But again, I at least want to believe that she's really being genuine and had a change of heart because never in a million years could I imagine her being this mature. Again, she didn't demand that I forgive me or probably even expect me to. But the message still does leave me feeling sorry for her.

Now I thought that was the real end of it until I see the Penguins of Madagascar/old Lord Scarlet Amino on my sideboard.

She unbanned me.

Now I don't know where we'll go from here, if anywhere. I'm not too sure if I can really let my guard down around someone who hurt me so badly just in case she does it again. So I may not talk to her again, but if she really asks something from me, I might try and build up courage to ask her more about how she came to apologizing to me. Plus she followed me on Wattpad too.

But this is why I didn't show our conversation right before my ban or her "f.u." posts. Because I don't want people seeing more of Vic's past behavior and possibly embarrassing her about it if she ever sees this. But that's kinda why I felt like it was 100% necessary to finally make a sequel post in the end; I'm hoping people at least acknowledge Vic has changed and don't keep thinking about based on what I shared out of attempts to gain sympathy like a crybaby.

So before I go: PLEASE, DON'T GO AFTER OR HARASS VIC. I KNOW YOU PROBABLY WON'T, BUT THIS IS SERIOUS. ALL THE PROBLEMATIC LORD SCARLET DRAMA IS STUFF OF THE PAST AND NEITHER OF US WANT TO KEEP LOOKING BACK ON IT.

I hope this helps whoever's reading as much as it did me.

#unikitty #unikitty!#master frown #brock #lord Scarlet #brook #vic #vicslayer #scream queen savage #Victoria #update #amino

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punkscowardschampions · 3 years

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Jac & Jude

Jac: I know this is probably weird Jac: or just an unwelcome sight, my name in your inbox Jac: but if/when you have some time to spare, I'd like to talk, if you're willing Jude: whatever you heard I didn't do it Jac: We could workshop that but no, that's not what it is Jude: 🗨 about what then? Jac: Um, if I've gotta summarize it in a message Jac: the past 2-ish years? Jude: bit late to start 🗨 now but if you wanna not be 🤐 Jac: That's okay if you want it that way now but I can offer you explanations, if you want that too Jude: 10/10 opener Jac: Thanks Jac: though if you're saying it's as believable as your 'I didn't do it' I take some offence Jude: ⚽️ 🏀 🏈 ⚾️ 🥎 🏐 🏉 in my court is top for novelty value alone Jude: power might go to my head 🤯 Jac: get your kicks where you can, honestly Jude: 😜✌ Jac: You'll let me know then? Jude: [lowkey ages later] Jude: 🗨 if you still wanna Jac: Okay Jac: I appreciate it, hopefully you will too Jac: that's all I want really, so, obviously I'm the one that owes you whatever you need to hear but if you wanna give me an indication of where to start, it might be easier for us both Jude: idk where it even started Jac: for me, I'd say when I started to be friends with Savannah, at the start of transition year, and it really got real at the end of that year Jac: but maybe before I was slacking too, that's definitely possible Jude: it ain't a job Jac: no, I meant that it is work though, maintaining good relationships and being a decent sister, work that I wasn't putting in Jude: I've always been hard work for you, soz like Jac: It certainly wasn't your fault Jac: or what I was trying to allude to Jude: 🗨 or not goes both ways Jac: Okay, you can think that, you don't have a lot to suggest otherwise, I see that Jude: you talk to Jess cos he does your head in less than me, since forever Jac: In general, me and Jess have more in common than we do, I think Jac: but I didn't talk to him for the whole first year either, and I only did at all in the second because he did me a favour in a way I couldn't Jac: but I might have to go back to explain that in a less vague way Jude: go where you wanna, it's your 📖 Jude: I'm 👂 Jac: I'm not telling it for me Jac: but alright, I'll just do it Jac: so, Amelia was in love with me, it wasn't reciprocated, and she couldn't be my friend any longer, I lost her Jac: then what happened to Isabelle happened and I lost her Jac: and also Savannah at the same time Jac: and what happened to Is fucked me up, as well as the shit people were saying about it, about me around it Jac: it all got on top of me, I didn't cope with it, I took that out on a lot of people, you were one of them Jude: nowt I don't already know Jac: Right Jac: well I didn't know you knew that, so I felt I should tell you Jude: everyone knows about the 😍💖 Jude: I missed Sienna too & there's no way what happened to Izzy wouldn't fuck you up Jac: okay Jac: well it was rough, for a time there, and I didn't really have anyone to help me deal so I did some bad and stupid shit that didn't just affect me Jude: yeah Jac: and I'm sorry about that Jac: for however that affected you, at all Jude: alright Jac: and I only talked to Jesse because something really bad happened and he was there so I had no choice, really Jude: what was it? Jac: I don't wanna make you feel bad Jac: just to say how bad it was, like I'm being dramatic or whatever Jude: you can't just drop that something really bad happened & then not tell me ?? Jac: I had to have an abortion Jude: fuck Jac: I know that's a lot Jude: idk what to say Jac: You don't have to say anything Jude: ??! Jude: yeah I do, we can't just leave that there Jac: You don't have to like, try to make me feel better though Jac: I can talk more Jac: it was last christmas time Jac: and yeah Jac: it was the hardest thing I'll probably ever have to do Jude: Christmas Jac: yeah, great timing, right Jude: who was it? do I know him? Jac: no, it was some guy at some party, complete accident Jude: I'm never hooking up with anyone ever Jac: I wasn't being as careful as I could've been Jac: I was on the pill, I am, but I was sick so Jude: if it happened to you, it could definitely happen to me Jac: no, I wasn't being safe at all, I wasn't like me Jac: you wouldn't do that Jac: not like you shouldn't be careful yourself, of course, but I'm not trying to fear monger Jude: why? Jac: because I didn't feel well Jac: or like protecting myself from bad stuff Jac: but it was a wake-up call Jude: are you better now or what? Jac: I'm trying to be Jac: I wasn't trying at all back then Jac: but I am now, and part of that is reaching out, so you really can ask anything Jac: if you want to Jude: I don't think you should go if you're not Jac: I think University will be good for me Jac: I have stopped doing a lot of the things I was already, and I'm trying to do more things that I should again Jac: the fresh start, getting to do what I want to do, that's been keeping me going Jude: but it's really far away Jude: what if Jac: I don't want you to worry about me like that Jac: I'm not about living like that now Jac: if I had to stay here, I'm not saying I would go back, but leaving is a good thing Jude: you were though & you're not gonna have anyone to help you deal there, that's why you said it got bad before Jac: I still don't have friends here Jac: I have a better chance to make new ones when we're all new, you know Jac: but it was all the stuff that was too much that made it all happen Jude: it feels like a 🥉💡 Jac: Why? Jude: cos you said it was the only thing keeping you going so if it goes wrong Jac: but it's not going to go wrong Jac: you know academics have always been where I'm most comfortable Jude: yeah but Jac: I worked really hard for this, and I've always wanted it Jac: I can swap Universities, if I need to do that Jac: and I would, if things weren't working Jude: promise Jac: I promise Jac: I don't know how I'll reassure you on this, apart from getting there, and then checking in Jude: then do that Jac: I will Jude: okay Jac: I'm not going to go back there Jac: I want to be better, and that's half the battle, right Jude: true Jac: I have to get out of here Jac: you'll feel the same when your time comes too Jude: it's not bad for me here Jude: I get why you wanna leave & Jess has gotta for the ⭐dom but I'm all good Jac: you want to see the rest of the world too though Jac: not stay here forever Jude: I'm not gonna 👀 sod all from a lecture hall Jude: & a basic bitch gap year ain't no mood Jac: I'm gonna be in Edinburgh, a whole new city to explore and make home Jac: you have to go somewhere you wanna be Jac: and then you'll have good money to see enough of the world and not have to do it with pretentious gap year people slumming it in hostels Jude: I just don't know where I'd wanna be Jac: you still have time to figure that out Jude: but I won't have my pick like you Jude: not 🤓 enough Jac: you can still pick a city, lots of bigger places have lots of different Unis Jac: even if the Uni isn't like ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Jac: the place can be Jude: you're right, I've slummed it on loads of school trips & it's still been 🥇 Jac: and I'm not calling you stupid, you can get into wherever you wanna, with the work Jude: tah, don't be calling me thick 🤣 Jac: just so you can't call me out later, of course Jude: probs won't be going to Spain though I ain't getting any 🏆 in that class Jac: you usually get a year abroad if you want it Jac: still chance for some sun, sea and sand Jude: 😝 Jude: can't be tamed, the teacher'd be fuming to find out I'm in Barcelona loving the 🎨 Jac: you can fluff your first year Jac: get it out of your system 😏 Jude: yeah? Jude: I thought that was a rumour to 🎣 out dickheads Jac: I think if you totally tanked it, they might wanna get you gone Jac: but I don't know if they technically can Jude: watch me test it 😏 Jac: 🙄 Jac: 🤞 you change your mind in these interim years Jude: they'll be like oi you piss off & I'll be like nah mate!! 😜✌ Jac: 😂 Jac: good luck with that Jude: I've got this Jac: No doubt Jude: you can still have kids later if you want, can't you? Jac: It shouldn't have had any effect, like that Jac: I don't think losing a baby does, usually, unless it goes really badly and that didn't happen Jude: yeah, you're not Amelia's mum Jac: yeah, I'm clearly fertile Jac: so unless the karma is I'm not later Jude: thank god Jac: I don't know if I'll ever want to do it again Jude: idk if I want kids either but we might Jude: like ages from now Jac: yeah Jac: It was just a lot to go through Jude: did they knock you out to do it? Jude: that must've been scary Jac: I took the tablets Jac: did it at home Jude: here Jac: yeah Jude: shit Jac: I told Jess, so he stayed with me Jude: I'm glad Jude: he's the one I'd tell too Jac: Poor him Jude: I do tell him stuff, I'm sure he's gutted about it Jac: I just meant it's a bit rude of us to put it all on him Jac: I'm sure he isn't gutted Jude: yeah but he won't be around for it soon Jac: you can still talk to him Jude: nah, he'll be proper busy 🤠🎤🎵🎸 Jac: you can still blow his phone up Jac: he'll get back to you Jac: beside, you have friends too Jude: I can handle it, I've got mates, mum & dad & obvs me Jude: he's earned a break Jac: yeah Jac: no doubt he'll be grateful Jude: for sure Jac: 👍 Jude: I mean from me, not you Jac: no, I know what you mean Jac: I've put him through enough Jude: nah, I have Jude: you were really going through something Jac: Are you okay? Jude: yeah Jac: Good Jac: like you said, you can handle it Jac: not going to start demanding you tell me things Jude: it was just a weird time Jude: is Jac: yeah Jac: I know Jude: I didn't know what to do & like I always know about myself Jude: things ain't usually confusing Jac: I'm sorry Jac: for making shit harder for you, you didn't need that Jac: a lot of it was too painful to talk about Jac: like, I couldn't Jude: & you don't have to, not to make me feel better Jac: I wasn't intending to make you feel shit Jac: but I also didn't do anything to go out of my way to do the opposite either Jude: you made loads of people feel shit, I'm not special Jude: or probs even top 5 Jac: I did Jac: it was easier Jac: than questions and concern Jac: for me though Jac: not you lot Jude: you can't be selfless all the time Jude: everyone's a selfish dickhead when they're 💔 Jac: I didn't have to be quite so selfish Jac: that's a lie, I did feel like I had to at the time, or I wouldn't have done it Jac: but that doesn't excuse it as alright Jude: it wasn't alright Jude: but none of us are saying it is Jac: it means you get to react how you wanna now Jac: even if that ain't alright either Jude: bit late to 🥊 Jac: you could try it Jac: you needn't think I'm just gonna take it though Jude: I got my own room out of it, if I do a OTT 🚪 slam you'll get the point Jac: you get your own room regardless now Jude: & this time I can actually chuck your shit out without mum or dad having a go at me Jac: if you want Jude: it'll be gone soon as you have 👋 Jac: that's fine Jac: I have the things I need Jude: I won't ask you to help me start the wall mural as a bonding activity, you're alright Jac: would be counterproductive Jude: yeah you'd only fuck up my artistic vision Jac: naturally Jude: if Amelia weren't so in love with you she might've bothered to teach you how to 🖌🎨 instead of being convinced you were 10/10 as you were Jac: I'd hate to steal your thunder Jude: the competition'd be a right laugh Jude: I wouldn't mind it Jude: how you get better anyway Jac: It's one way Jac: I've always been peerless so I wouldn't know but Jude: 🙄😏 Jude: when Sav left, she gave you a 🏃 for your 💰 before that Jude: 🤓🥇🏆 Jac: True Jude: I wonder where she's going Jac: Bath, probably Jac: unless she changed her plans Jac: or got into Oxbridge Jude: that 1st bit don't sound like something she'd do Jude: maybe her Catholic school was top notch though Jac: I doubt her dad was going to risk sending to another shithole Jude: I don't get why he sent her away at all Jude: there's gonna be lads like that at parties a few hours from here just the same Jac: Yeah well, it was a convenient excuse for what he probably wanted to do anyhow Jac: and I doubt she was allowed to go to many parties after that, wherever she was Jude: he's a twat for not caring what Sav & Sienna want, I wouldn't let him tell me nowt Jac: you wouldn't have much choice Jude: 😬 Jac: clearly their mum didn't argue loads for them to stay so Jac: that's that Jude: yeah but he could've stayed closer & still had them live with him Jac: well there's no point pretending he isn't a twat, for the sake of this convo Jac: maybe he had a job offer, I don't know Jude: 🤷🏼 Jac: anyway Jude: ?? Jac: I don't know Jac: is there anything else you wanna know Jude: does it get any worse? Jac: no, that's the worst Jude: then you can tell me if there's anything else Jac: I mean, it wasn't so much what I was doing or did Jac: you know the rest, the drinking and partying and obviously the sex Jude: it was a bit hard to miss Jac: yeah Jac: it was what it was Jude: I don't blame you for wanting to go, you won't get a fresh start here after what all that was Jude: you were my sister before far as the 🗨 went now I'm yours Jac: well, I want to go anyway, always have Jac: I don't care what people think Jude: good job none of us are that bothered, with Jess blowing up an' all Jac: you can't be responsible for what people say about anyone but yourself Jude: I know Jude: dunno if the other two have their heads round that yet though Jac: well I'm sorry for what people might think or say about you because of me Jac: we're all going to have to make changes, because of Jess' lifestyle now Jude: there ain't no might about it, they do 💭 & 🗨 Jac: then I'm sorry Jude: don't bother being, it don't matter if you are & people have always 🗨 bollocks Jude: if it ain't you it's Jess or mum being a model, whatever else there is Jac: well I still am Jude: I can't change your 🧠 Jac: just because people talk, doesn't mean I have to give them more to talk about Jude: you won't be, you'll have pissed off to do your psychology degree, getting to just be you somewhere else Jude: like I'll get to just be me if I go far enough away too Jac: Yeah, that's generally why people do it Jude: even if Jess gets well famous in the next couple of years, still a common enough last name Jude: I should be able to do my own thing Jac: exactly Jac: private profiles, the whole deal, it's just what you'll have to do Jude: not gonna wish he fucks it, that'd be a bit rude Jac: Of course not Jac: it doesn't mean it won't be hard Jac: people already know you're related, you've been at gigs and stuff Jude: something else I can handle Jac: doesn't mean you can't feel a type of way about it Jude: it's what he wants to do Jac: Yeah Jac: but how do you feel about it? Jude: idk nowt's really happened yet Jude: it might get weird Jac: Yeah Jac: I get you Jude: I don't wanna be famous & especially not just for being his little sister Jac: yeah, I'd hate that as well Jac: people speculating 'round here is bad enough Jude: but maybe it'll help with my 🎨 Jude: not being a total unknown Jac: maybe Jac: but you wanna know you earnt recognition for your ability, not who you're related to Jude: all I know is if people start asking for 📷 I'm gonna have to look 11/10 every day Jac: 🙄😂 Jude: even for school! oh my god that'll be knackering Jude: I'll have to get up early Jude: tah for that, Jess Jac: people at school already have loads of embarrassing pictures Jac: at least you'll know where they've come from Jude: my mates won't do that, so yeah I'll know WHO they've come from Jac: you never know Jac: it changes people Jac: and not just the person it happens to Jude: what so I've gotta keep my 👀 on everyone? UGH Jac: I'm not trying to be dramatic Jac: but you hear about it Jac: people selling you out, for their own fame or 💶 Jude: you're not wrong, I'm just not chuffed to have to walk on 🥚 Jude: be a right laugh that will Jude: but whatever I ain't gonna whinge to you Jude: that'd be a bigger pisstake after everything you've just said Jac: can't say I blame you Jac: you can talk about whatever you want Jude: to loads of other people, not you Jac: if that's how you want it Jac: not because you think you can't Jude: it's how it is, you've got a lot on Jac: You can still talk to me Jac: regardless Jude: changing the habit of a lifetime of you telling me to NOT, that's like another fresh start Jude: so nah, not really Jac: that is what I'm trying to do Jude: & I'm here for you if you want but I don't need it from you Jude: like I don't need Jess to rush back from gigging how we said earlier Jac: Alright Jac: that's how we'll go forth then Jude: 👍 Jac: See you later then Jude: 👌✌

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haikpers · 3 years

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[November 4,2020] 'Chapter 2'

I didn't expect the Night to go by so slow. Ever since I started writing in this I was just so excited to write whatever happens!

Anyways, I just woke up. It's currently 8:30 in the Morning. Wasn't expecting to actually wake up considering the fact that I kinda stayed up most of the Night looking up at my ceiling.

I'm in my Washroom getting ready to take my Daily shower. I've also gotta mention that my Friend Julien picked me up from my House today. For some reason my Pimples always settle down when I'm with him. He's probably Magic at this point.

It's not like I completely want my pimples to be gone just because I wanna look pretty. In all honesty, I want them to go away because I wanna be just like Oikawa! I know it sounds weird, and heck yeah it sounds impossible. But like I at least want to be similar you know? I've got the personality, the same interests as him, etc. So why not looks too?

Oh right, because he's perfect and I'm not. But whatever! I don't really care. I should be taking Shower by now but I'm standing here typing whatever's on my mind. Oopsies~ hehehe

Also, last night I was able to talk to my Friends about moving out and living together in the future. They're definitely going to be my Future Volleyball Teammates! I know, I know, I'm still 14. And yes we may have some age gaps but that won't stop us from setting up a Goal!

Hopefully Future me or any of them doesn't decide to leave. I really want to achieve this Goal of hours living together and staying Best Friends! Miracle, Lev, Mochi, and Colette. The 4 most precious people in my Life so far including myself, we're going to try our best! Anyhoo, I need to take a shower!

Just got done with my Shower. I feel much more refreshed now! I also haven't eaten yet, which I probably should do.. But I'll stay a little longer just so that whatever I post today is actually longer than the one from Yesterday.

Hannah somehow managed to make me cringe at my past self, I wanna die- So basically I used to do digital art, well not used to- I still do digital art til' this day but rarely. My art style was crap, oh GODXDDDDFFKEMFKKWKC.

I wanted to forget about it too, damnit. Now I have to relive my old art.

No idea why my head hurts a bit though. Maybe it's because I've never written a Diary before and my Brain's just malfunctioning because of it. Whatever the cause is, I'm ignoring it. [Unless it gets worse]

Did I mention it was Wednesday today? No, I don't think I have. Either way I'm just excited for the weekly Haikyuu Episode. It always comes out on Friday, which I'm so hyped about! Now that I think about it, I don't think I would've been so invested in Volleyball if it weren't for Haikyuu. In fact, I wouldn't even bat an eye to Haikyuu if it weren't for Oikawa. He caught my eye in one of the Instagram Posts- so, basically he's the reason why I love the Sport.

It's funny to think that my Future is because of Oikawa Tōru, a fictional Character who is both the Setter and the Team Captain for Aobajohsai from Haikyuu. But hey, I'm not complaining! If it's because of him then I'll continue.

Alright, I probably should actually eat now. I'm getting pretty hungry and I'm sure that my Birds are too as well. Their names are Bokuto, and Akaashi. Bokuto is the yellow bird, while Akaashi is the Blue. It fits them so well!

Well, well, well, I am back from my break! Also, I actually took a shower but I came back here like 3 Hours or even more after. Not a lot of things happened during the span of those hours. [Sad, I know]

But I did end up practicing my tosses for a bit! I use my Laundry Basket as a target for my Volleyball to land into whenever I set/toss it. It's not much, but it improves my precision.

I haven't tried setting backwards with it though, I probably should since I might need more practice for that. Also, I read some Hisoka x Reader Fan Fictions. Some were Lemon, the rest were fluff.

A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do okay? I was kinda bored so I ended up reading some FanFictions before deciding to go back to my own Diary and continue my writing.

I'm not even sure if I could practice outside today.. It's pretty sunny, but I feel like it might be freezing cold. I might as well just wait for tomorrow when I can go to School. Maybe then I could ask my Music Teacher if there's a way for me to Practice in the Schools Gym.

Corona is really pissing me off, I can't even practice or try out for the Team this year! Argh! And I was looking forward to it too. And the fact that I can't find any Gyms that has a Volleyball Court? Really shatters me. How come Japan is more superior. Like, I just wanna practice in a Gym that let's you use the Court for free.

I swear, when I become a Professional Volleyball player, I'm gonna set up a Gym/program in Canada where girls' and boys' like me could practice in without having to rent. I'll even be the coach for the program! Big dreams for tiny me, huhu.

I'm feeling even more sleepy for writing, is that bad? I really do wanna include something exciting in this Chapter but I can't think of anything that has happened that would be worth mentioning.

I also made a promise to myself that I wouldn't discuss any Past Occasions on here sooo... I have to make my current situation entertaining I guess. But~ I can do that after I sleep. uwu

Also, I kind of want to mention a little secret of mine that I do every single day. Before I go to sleep, or like any time during the day; I imagine Oikawa living along side me, interacting with me, and basically just straight up acting like my Best Friend. I also act as if no one else could see him BUT ME! It's honestly a straight up serotonin boost. I even have those moments where I could actually feel warmth where I imagine him to be. It's amazing!

But of course other people wouldn't really understand how much these little imaginations mean to me. Not everyone is this obsessed, but whatever. The more unique I am, the more reason to stay just the way I am.

I'll go check if it's actually cold outside, that way I can see whether or not I could practice my serves. Quick tip, if you don't have a net! Use the swings in parks. You could serve over the Bars, it's pretty useful. But make sure you don't hit anybody!

Bro, I just asked my Mom if I could go outside and practice. She said yes, I'm so excited to actually practice my serves! Wish me luck! I'll be back after. It's like 16° so I need to at least wear a sweater.

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