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deathsmallcaps · 4 years

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July’s Story

My fifteenth Win A Commission contest is Crystal the Wise! If you would like to see my version, and see all my drawings together, please

There once was a gentleman who had quite a daughter. Whatever her teachers gave her to learn, she gobbled up. Foreign languages, geography, so—all were unspeakably easy for her. And mathematics! She could add up columns of figures far better than her father’s accountants could. Before long, she could have taken their place.

When Crystal (for so she was called) grew a bit older, the neighboring children came over to ask her to explain the problems their tutors had set. Soon everyone came to learn from her. In time, word of this reached the king. He wrote to the young woman, saying, “My son is nearly grown, but my daughter has trouble with her lessons, and needs a teacher who could make her understand. Will you come and stay with us for a few months?”

Crystal was delighted to do so. When she arrived at the palace, the king, queen, and princess greeted her warmly. The prince, however, sulked like a little child. He had offered to tutor the princess himself, but the king had said, “You’re too impatient. I have found someone else who can do a better job than you can.”

Over the next few weeks, the prince sat in the back of the classroom and contradicted Crystal whenever she spoke. His interruptions grew more and more frequent. Still, Crystal continued to teach, because she liked the little princess and wanted her to do well. Tired of being ignored, the prince stood up one day and said, “This isn’t how I learned it. Everything you’re teaching my sister is wrong.” Crystal walked right up and slapped him! After that, the prince kept away from her lessons.

When the time came for Crystal to leave, the prince went to his parents.

“I’m grateful for all Crystal taught me, and after all, she’s the cleverest woman in the kingdom. May I have your permission to marry her?” The king and queen eagerly agreed, and Crystal also accepted, figuring it was a good marriage. She hadn’t realized she was worth more.

After the wedding, the prince took his bride to a secluded cottage deep in the forest. As she was changing into her nightclothes, he came in and said, “Well, Crystal, are you ready to apologize for slapping me?”

“Apologize? I was right to slap you! And I’ll do it again if you keep on about it.” Crystal didn’t enjoy violence but knew when to defend herself.

“Is that so?” the prince snarled. He and a couple servants dragged her down to the cellar, where he thrust her through a trapdoor, into a little cell under the floorboards. There was a bed and a table and almost nothing else. In the morning, he asked her if she’d changed her mind, but she said no. Every day he came down and demanded she repent. Every day she refused, despite knowing her chances of survival were diminishing rapidly in such a dangerous situation. She had tried to run away when he first grabbed her, but even her considerable talents were no match against ten armed men.

Crystal grew weary of her imprisonment, but there was no way she would apologize. One day, she noticed a corner of her cell was blowing air, due to a spider’s web flying into her face. She blessed the spider for alerting her, tand investigated the hole. There, she discovered a rushing underground stream. She dug a hole big enough to squeeze through, and managed to swim all the way to her father’s house.

Her father was appalled to find out how she’d been treated. “I’ll see the king immediately.”

“Oh, no, don’t,” Crystal said. “Just dig a tunnel into my cell and bring me some decent food, and of course, my books. The prince only lowers bread and water.” And Crystal swam back to her cell with the prince none the wiser.

At last, he grew tired of her refusals and called down, “I’m going to Paris to enjoy myself. I’ll have a servant feed you while I’m having fun.”

“Go ahead,” she called back cheerfully.

As soon as the prince had left, Crystal bribed the servant to stop lowering bread and water, telling him to lie to the prince should he come back. She ran to her father and, with plenty of money from him, hurried to Paris, formulating a brilliant plan to ruin him forever with her father. There she disguised herself as a girl named ‘Marie’ and bought a house next to her husband’s.

She then forged a letter to the prince’s parents, explaining that ’Crystal’ had died en route to Paris, and that he was going to mourn for a while. Somewhere in the back of her head, she knew this was a dangerous course of action, and very unhealthy emotionally. But she was SO angry.

Then, each day, she drove out in her carriage behind four white horses. Her gown was thick with embroidery, and her fan was trimmed with delicate lace, and she adopted a beautiful Parisian accent. When the prince saw her, he was dazzled by her beauty, though he didn’t recognize her in Parisian fashions. He began courting her, and wedded ‘Marie’ inside a month, never mentioning, of course, that he had another wife back home. Nor did he notice her glittering intellect, and thought her a dumb but lovely creature. Nine months later, she gave birth to twins, a girl and a boy. Since Crystal had learned a bit, she made the prince sign a contract, vowing the children would be his heirs. He signed it, thinking it would be invalid, for she had drawn it up herself and he thought her stupid. He was mistaken.

Three years passed. Then the prince told her he had been summoned home, but didn’t tell her it was for a new marriage. He didn’t know that this third bride had been set up by Crystal’s father. Feeling bored with his (supposedly) new and beautiful wife, he agreed to return home and decided to leave Crystal and his children behind.

Returning home, the prince hurried to the cottage but discovered the cell empty. The servant told him Crystal had died of loneliness, so the prince thought he was in the clear.

His family got him all set up for the wedding, disallowing him to meet his match, claiming superstition. When the day finally came, he said the vows, and everyone cheered. He raised her veil, and saw Crystal grinning triumphantly back at him. His children toddled out from the audience, and he knew he was in trouble.

Stunned to see his triply-wed wife, the prince knelt down before the court and begged her forgiveness. But it turned out, she didn’t have to forgive him.

Her father produced the contract proclaiming the children as the prince’s heirs and a written account of what had passed by Crystal verified by many sources, including the servant who was supposed to feed her. Disgusted by their son, the King and Queen banished him and stripped him of his personal land, money and title, immediately giving them to Crystal. She and her family promptly lived happily ever after.

My Notes

Now, you may not have noticed, but this story? Extremely messed up. I mean, this woman is degraded and goes on the biggest revenge plot I’ve ever seen a female character do in a fairy tale. She even has revenge babies! They are going to have a pretty messed up childhood.

Why did I choose Crystal the Wise? Well, for three reasons.

One, I heard it on, you guessed it, the Myths and Legends podcast. I really liked his rendition, but I did NOT want to type the whole thing out (I did that with a different story of his that I’m going to give to a different little cousin). I found this version online. And this all happens in the story! Crystal is just that machiavellian, and I applaud her! I kind of wish she didn’t feel like she had to continue having relations with her abuser, or to change herself so completely, but she really hit him with the ol’ one-two, and I like it when people can dole out justice like that. Hopefully she had someone to talk to afterwards? Also its pretty problematic the King and Queen did not realize how much of a little creep they raised to be their heir.

Two, I realized I hadn’t done a story from South America yet! I realize its definitely a more modern story, with less ties to the Native people of Chile (btw the royal family of Chile isn’t a real thing), but I really liked it.

Three, I was looking up the Aymara people of Chile for unrelated reasons when I realized I would love to draw the women! I don’t know what the textile industry over there is like, but it must be pretty entrenched in the culture, because they have so many pretty patterns and colors in their everyday wear! Combined with the bowler hats (legend has it that a shipment of bowler hats made it to Chile just when they went out of style, so the haberdashers marketed them to women!) with all the lovely flowers added on, I was excited! So I wanted to draw an Aymara girl.

Now that I’ve explained that, I’d like to explain my drawings. They weren’t as full of background as some of my other drawings, but trust me, I put a lot of effort into them! I had a kabillion reference pictures.

The title is not based off of any movie logo I’ve seen, for once. Rather, it is based a bit off of the ACDC logo. I was working one day, when someone with that logo on his shirt came up to the register. I was inspired! So I quickly sketched out a sort of geometric, sort of lightning-bolt-esque title in between customers. And I liked it!

The second picture, the slap, was a difficult one for me. It combined an unusual perspective, unusual clothing, and unusual face shapes for me. As you’ve seen with my art, and maybe with your own art, it is often very easy to have a character face you and not interact with another object or person, You can’t really have that happen with a slap.

This story is supposed to be set in the early 1700s, when Paris was very in vogue. But as I really wanted to draw a modern Aymara woman, I did play little fast and loose with the fashion. There isn’t too many reference pictures for old Chilean fashion. I had to reach a little. Which led me to using a more European style of dress for the Prince. And this is the only time you get to see *Crystal dress in a way that is normal and comfortable to her. This is an important ‘theme’ of the story - sorry to go all English class on you!

*Just remembered that Crystal is not a very Spanish-sounding name. I’ve never found the story outside, even when I try to look it up in Spanish, so some part of me is worried that someone made it up and pretended it was Chilean. Please let me know if you find anything.

Their faces are different than what I’ve drawn before. As you can see on the prince’s face, he has serious acne. I’m not trying to demonize acne, but I decided that he’s one of those boys who hates getting clean and despite literally everyone telling him so, will not stop touching his face and causing acne. I went through a stubborn phase like that. But I also wanted to show how young and already so privileged the guy is. I really wanted to make him annoying. Crystal also has a bit of acne, to show her youth, but what really makes her face different than my usual fare is the fact she has a mole, never gets to smile of joy in my illustrations, and she is plump. I have a tendency to draw skinny characters I’m trying to get rid of as an artist - I want to be able to draw everyone, anyone. And i think she turned out quite pretty!

Third picture, the cave, was again sort of a challenge. I wasn’t sure at the beginning how to place Crystal so you could sort of see the hole that leads into her room, while also showing her climbing down and the underground waterways she is going to enter. And as you’ve might’ve seen before, when I draw caves and rocks, all I think of is really ‘geometry’ but in the way the guy in this meme thinks of aliens (look up history channel aliens if you don’t know).

But I guess I did it? As for Crystal, you can tell she’s uncomfortable, she’s skinnier in an unhealthy way and colder than before, her hair isn’t in the customary braids but in a crappy bun to keep it off her face, and her dress is in tatters. Not a happy camper, and understandably so.

Last picture, Crystal’s wedding dress, was sort of hard in a different way, again! I decided early on I wanted to base her dress off of Elizabeth’s wedding dress from Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. But I had to draw that while Crystal was holding her two kids on her hips, and smirking. I think I managed it, though. I think it’s interesting to note that the look epitomizes the kind of person she had to emulate while tricking the prince; a meek, european-mimicking little wifey. Totally different than the person she really is, the person she is illustrated to be in the first picture.

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed that! Another problematic story will be the one for next month! Thanks for reading!

@boopboopboopbadoop

#crystal the wise #wac #win a commission #marital abuse tw #commissions open #piff-paff #piff-paff: or the art of government #smack-bam #smack-bam or the art of governing men #Smack-Bam or The Art of Governing Men: Political Fairy Tales of Édouard Laboulaye #Smack-Bam or The Art of Governing Men: Political Fairy Tales of Édouard Laboulaye (Oddly Modern Fairy Tales)

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ladyhistorypod · 3 years

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Episode 15: Boss B!tches

Sources:

Elleanor Eldridge

Smithsonian Library Blog

Memoirs of Elleanor Eldridge (Smithsonian Libraries)

Women Extra and Ordinary: Elleanor Eldridge

Documenting the American South

Rhode Island Historical Society

Stages of Freedom

Further Learning: Stages of Freedom on Zora Neale Hurston

Madam CJ Walker

National Women’s History Museum

Philanthropy Round Table

Guinness Book of World Records

History Channel

Preserving Black History

Mary Ellen Pleasant

New York Times

CNBC

Black Past

Black Economics

Biography

Attributions: Katy Kirby, Live a-humble, Cash Register, San Francisco bound

Click below for a transcript of the episode!

Archival Audio: I can make my own living just as well as he can make his. He ought to be glad I'm working. Just because he can't stand competition he wants me to quit. My work isn't important enough. I'm only a woman but he, the man, is boss. He'd like me to be a slave to the house. Look at this mess.

Haley: Starting a business now is increasingly just slowly getting harder and harder because… and I'm doing this because I want to start an Etsy, because money and graduating in a pandemic sucks. Like Etsy has ridiculous fee prices.

Lexi: Yes.

Haley: Like just uploading a picture is like twenty cents and I realize this for like all these other accounts there are just so many different fees. But then when I was talking to like my dad and the older generation family members, they’re like “start a business, have an idea, and like create something” and I’m like do you guys not understand how difficult that is? Like I don’t–

Lexi: Well you need money to make ideas.

Alana: Yeah.

Lexi: I have plenty of business-worthy ideas and I always like sit at the dinner table and joke that someone should give me like X. amount of dollars because I've researched how much my new idea is going to cost but no one ever takes me seriously and they're like “what is this your thirty fifth business idea this year” but like… compostable dog toys? Fantastic idea.

Haley: Oh, I love that idea.

Lexi: All it would take me is a grand to get that off the ground so if anyone wants to invest. But guess what? I don't have a grand.

Haley: Well I’m using my savings account for this.

Lexi: Oof.

Haley: I have invested like a grand or so and I’ve taken way longer– I've been thinking about this like for the whole pandemic like since May. And with moving that was kind of like a shit show obviously like school comes first, but I'm at the point where now I'm just like making stuff and I have to do another order for shipping like candle materials? It's a hundred dollars for shipping. Yeah. I like making stuff. I’m a crafty bitch.

[INTRO MUSIC]

Alana: Hello and welcome to the Lady History; the good, the bad, and the ugly ladies you missed in history class. In the Zoom meeting today as always is Lexi. Lexi, which of your business ideas do you think is the most sustainable?

Lexi: My most sustainable business idea is to 3d print dog toys out of corn. That if the dog buries them in the yard or destroys them and you need to get rid of them, they are compostable. Because one of the biggest struggles about being a pet owner is that, at least for my bird a lot of the toys are very made of natural materials and so I don't feel bad throwing out the broken pieces, but dog toys are made of not good stuff.

Alana: And it's the other constant in my life, Haley. Haley, what would you do with a million dollars?

Haley: I would have a dog. Dogs don't cost a million dollars, but like…

Lexi: You could spoil a dog.

Haley: Yeah.

Alana: And I'm Alana and I can't eat the rich because pig isn't kosher.

Lexi: In terms of women starting businesses, I was thinking if Lady History doesn't work out, if we never make real money our business plan can be–

Alana: How dare you, we have made six dollars.

Lexi: Okay. But like, if we need real money and all museums stop existing because of the rona we can open a bake shop called Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots’ Bakery.

Haley: I love it. I'm down. You know that's like always been my dream is to have a bakery but part of the bakery…

Lexi: I believe there's a place near me I think you would really like. You probably couldn't eat anything there– well maybe you could eat like the savory stuff. But it's called Sweet Memories and the first floor is a tiny little restaurant that serves soup and gourmet grilled cheese and has baked goods but the upstairs is a little craft store where they sell locally made, handmade stuff and that is kind of how I envision Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots’ Bakery.

Haley: So that's exactly what I wanted. I wanted to be a chef growing up and I would, that's how I like bake all my cookies and everything, all egg substitutes. I just hate it when people try to make like restaurants so freakin elaborate, like where they have– and I'm not talking diners, diners are perfection like the gross greasy diner? Give that to me.

Lexi: Mm. That’s the good stuff

Haley: I don't want to go to a cafe where like the list of crap you can get is longer than like my shoe size… I have small feet. Okay fine, I have very small feet so like let me rephrase that.

Lexi: Longer than Robert’s shoe size.

Alana, laughing: Ayyyyy.

Haley: Ayyyy.

Lexi: That was a dick joke. I’m sorry.

Haley: Longer than my wand. My bakery has to have a good menu that's like very limited. So again, soups. I love soups and sandwiches, like you have your grilled cheese–

Lexi: I mean it’s literally gourmet grilled cheese and like three kinds of soups.

Haley: Like you always have like the tomato, you always have broccoli cheddar, and you always have chili and like one seasonal.

Lexi: I had a pumpkin wild mushroom seasonal soup that was to die for.

Haley: Amazing, that sounds so great. And then for the bakery stuff, it's stuff that like you can eat right there– like a croissant would be excellent. Cookies would be excellent, but also just like you could special order like a pie or cake.

Lexi: Yes!

Haley: And then one part of it is like a library type situation. Not necessarily bookstore, but just like all my books. I have over two hundred books of course I could spare a few books. So you could sit there, read, do a chit chat.

Alana: It's like those books at Gelman that are like you can't take them out but you can read them there. On reserve or whatever it’s called.

Haley: Yes. And then lastly, have stuff like packaged because like hostess gifts. I am the queen of bringing a hostess gift. There have been moments where I forgot it and that's why I've made up with it of just being really elaborate. So if like you need a serving dish for the cookies you're going to buy from my place? Of course I have some ivory porcelain cooking dish– like serving dishes. You want like a Haley inspired Dutch oven? you damn Skippy you're gonna have it in three colors.

Lexi: So I guess the final verdict is Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots Bake Shop will be an egg-free, small menu, gift shop, library, eatery experience.

Haley: Absolutely.

Lexi: For my business woman I am covering yet another lady from the Women Extra and Ordinary project that I did with the Smithsonian Libraries. I feel like this is going to get real old real fast, how many of these women I'm covering, but you know what I already did the research. So today I'm gonna talk about Elleanor Eldridge, who lived in Rhode Island and was born approximately in March 1785. Her father, Robin Eldridge, was a formerly enslaved person who fought in the American Revolution in exchange for his freedom. Her mother, Hannah Prophet, was a Native American who died when Elleanor was ten years old. Elleanor was one of nine siblings. After her mother's death, an aunt suggested Elleanor never get married, and Elleanor began working as a servant. While working, Elleanor became skilled in weaving, spinning, paper and soap making, wallpapering, cheesemaking and dairy working. And to keep her living costs down, she exchanged housework for boarding so that she wouldn't have to pay rent. And through her skills and smart planning, she was able to expand her money making ventures, performing various tasks to earn money. Elleanor was naturally gifted as a businesswoman, and when she succeeded in saving up a large sum of money she began investing in property, which is a pretty good business move. She was also able to take out a mortgage to further her investments. And this was an extremely unique position for a woman of color living in Rhode Island at the time that she lived. So she took advantage of her own savvy and did something really unique and awesome. She built a home on the property she bought with a space that she could rent out. So like think modern duplex but this is the early 1800s and your landlord living next door is a badass businesswoman. So I wouldn't mind her as my landlord. But Elleanor's aunt was right to advise Elleanor to never get married because at the time women could not own property in their own name if they were married. So married women could only hold property in shared ownership with their husbands or after their husband's death, so Elleanor was smart to not get married because it would have meant that her husband would control the property that she had acquired through their own hard work, so by staying single she kept her business interests in her own name which is really good. When Elleanor fell ill in her forties, she went to stay with her family to recover from her sickness. And after becoming well, she had to travel to assist another ill relative who was suffering from cholera. And because many people in her hometown thought she was gone for a really long time, they believed that she died, and a disagreement surrounding the loan that she taken out– the mortgage– led to Elleanor having her property holdings wrongfully taken from her. And she decided to take legal action in 1837. She became the first Black woman in America to plead her case in court and despite overwhelming evidence–

Alana: I look pretty good for a dead bitch.

Lexi: Despite overwhelming evidence, including three male witnesses, a corrupt sheriff testified against her and his testimony was enough for the judge to rule against her. And after spending years working and growing her business, Elleanor lost everything. But Elleanor did not give up. A strong-willed woman, she pursued a settlement out of court which allowed her to repurchase her property, but she was still short on funds to pay the fee that she needed to pay to recover the property. So she had a big brain plan, like the big brain businesswoman she was, to help her cause. Elleanor, who was illiterate, enlisted the help of a ghostwriter; abolitionist Frances Harriet Whipple Green, and Green transcribed Elleanor's life story into a memoir, and the sales of the memoir helped Elleanor repurchase her lost property. And you can read the book by accessing a digital scan on the Smithsonian library website if you are so inclined to read it. The terminology is a little dated and it's a little hard to read if you speak modern English, but if you're curious for a firsthand account… Because even though it was physically written by Francis, it was told by Elleanor, so it's a really unique story. And the book is in the public domain but if you're so inclined that you're just like this is really cool you can actually purchase a physical copy and have it if you would like to. Elleanor’s memoirs include this quote which I really think sums up her whole situation quite well so I'm just going to read it in her words– “No MAN would have been treated so; and if A WHITE WOMAN had been the subject of such wrongs, the whole town—nay, the whole country, would have been indignant; and the actors would have been held up to the contempt they deserve! Newspaper editors would have copied, and commented on it, till every spirit of honor, of justice and of chivalry, would have been roused.” So I think that says a lot about the situation that she was in and how she felt about it and how precarious the whole thing was the fact that if it had happened to a guy, or even to a white woman, it would have not gone down the same way it did. So at the time of her death, Elleanor had recovered most of what she lost and regained most of her property and money, and her story is regarded by scholars today as an important unique account of the story of a Black woman in early America pursuing her own career. In a time when many Black stories were lost, Elleanor's was saved and today she can continue to tell her story through her book. When not close for COVID-19, the Rhode Island Historical Society has a walking tour. It’s about Elleanor and other Black Rhode Islanders from early America, so it stops at a couple locations in the city to share their stories. And the Historical Society also presents a one woman reenactment of Elleanor's trial called “No Man Ever Would Have Been Treated So: The Trials of Elleanor Eldridge” which can be booked as an educational event for groups and clubs. It's pretty cool. And the actress who does it seems really cool so Google it. One of the links actually in the tumblr sources that I am sharing is a video where the actress talks about her experience and a couple other things related to womanhood, so if you're curious about that kind of stuff go watch it.

Alana: I hate that you’ve now done two Rhode Island ladies, and I've been to Rhode Island and telling me about all these cool things to do in Rhode Island and I didn't do any of them because I was like eleven and–

Lexi: You'll go to Rhode Island again.

Alana: Lady History field trip to go see that play.

Lexi: Hey, maybe she could do the play and then we could do a live episode about other famous Rhode Island ladies.

Haley: That would be fantastic.

Alana: Manifest it. Say it on the pod, make it happen.

Lexi: Live show at the Rhode Island Historical Society about Rhode Island ladies.

[Archival Audio of a hymnal]

Haley: My fabulous gal today is Madam CJ Walker, or, by Guinness Book of World Records, the first female self made millionaire in America. And before we get to that point, this history book starts at her childhood. Born on a plantation in Delta, Louisiana, Sarah Breedlove was one of six children to Owen and Minerva Anderson Breedlove. I love the name Minerva. Owen and Minerva Anderson Breedlove, “former slaves-turned sharecroppers.” And that was a quote, and I don’t like that that’s how it’s phrased. Like “former slaves-turned sharecroppers” is exactly what happened, my problem is like in the sentence I kept reading it it's like “oh but they’re sharecroppers now” not like–

Lexi: It's like still bad.

Haley: Yeah it's still bad and this is because–

Alana: It's not even bad to less bad, it's bad the different bad.

Haley: Yeah. It hits differently. And this is all post Civil War. I even put in my notes like this quote is weird. Unfortunately, her parents died when she was seven and Madam CJ moved in with her sister who worked in the cotton fields. And at age fourteen she married Moses McWilliams, and this is partly to get away from her abusive brother in law.Because already we're off to a rocky start if like your footnote is to get away from an abusive person. Maybe there was love. I couldn't find much about Moses. Again, life was just not on Madam CJ’s side, and her husband died in 1887. And she had to raise their two year old daughter Leila, known as A’Leila. She moved to St Louis with the hope of a better life and not just like living in poverty getting out of that poverty situation because… like yeah absolutely. She wanted– and she was very adamant on making a better life for herself and her daughter and knowing that she could do it as a woman, not just like having that widow title slapped on her. Because we know– even now still, if you’re a widow that's kind of like your identity, your personality. It's like “oh… your partner died.” And kind of the same with men like raising children and that's not what we want. So in St Louis, her four brothers were barbers and she worked both as a laundress and a cook. She also joined the African Methodist Episcopal Church where she met Black men and women who were both educated and successful. And this is kind of like an inspirational moment for her. This was a pivotal moment that she, in my research, just kept going back to. She went through a bit more of a life struggle with a failed marriage and just more financial ups and downs which would make anyone physically and mentally strained. However, in 1904, she began using African American businesswoman Annie Turbo Malone’s “The Great Wonderful Hair Grower” because she was starting to see like scalp problems where… concluded into like hair loss, and I’ll explain more of that because I had to do some more research myself. She also joined Malone's team of Black women sales agents, and this is where she starts to become one of those successful independent people she'd previously admired. And I believe this is around the time Leila actually went to like university, so that was a big yay. I also would like to pause, like I said, to do some research about hair care products because all hair is different. And these products especially that Madam CJ later invents were for Black women who lost their hair to scalp disorders or most likely a form of alopecia, like relatively common and Madam CJ had it too. That is not to say that hair loss just comes in scalp disorders, like I get hair loss when I use certain rubber bands because I have really thick coily hair that will break off at the end. Apparently my hair type is prone to like stress falling out. After some time in the business field, and I believe this was just like about a year, she moved to Denver where she married quote “ad man” Charles Joseph Walker. Hence the new name of Madam CJ Walker. and this is important in the business sense of her life because she started out with a dollar twenty five, and yes this was way way back ago, but in the sense of building like a business that was launching her career to be a self made millionaire that's a little bit of dough. And she was able to launch “Madam Walker’s Wonderful Hair Grower” which her husband, the ad man, helped advertise and getting like mail order business started because remember, we did not have the lovely internet. So that was a huge chunk of the business to get like revenue, get the word out there and such. And she knew that there was a market here, because one she was in that market and she just previously worked in that market so she could easily tap into it. And as a Black woman, she knew how to essentially not only market, but just be like “here's how you use it.” So unfortunately this marriage ended in a divorce, and she later moved to Indianapolis. And in 1910, she built a factory for her company, now named Walker Manufacturing Company. And this transformation made it possible for her to become an advocate for Black women especially in the economic independence realm, with Walker Manufacturing Company she could branch out and do a lot more. And she opened up a training program called the Walker System, and basically this huge network of licensed sales agents blossomed. And this led back into her core ideals of giving back and being very generous because she believed that she had generous opportunities given to her, so now she needed to give back. And she remembered what it was like to be that person on the poverty line being inspired by these wealthy, educated, successful people. She ended up employing forty thousand Black women and men in the United States, Central America, and the Caribbean. I couldn't find out if this was specifically one part of her business or like the whole network or other endeavors because she also had a cosmetics branch called the National Negro Cosmetics Manufactuers Association that she also started. Regardless, forty thousand people worked many different spans of land is a lot. And her worth in all senses of the word just kept growing and growing. Financially, in the last year of her life she reached that one million dollar mark with her sales exceeding five hundred thousand dollars and some reports saying that at her death, the value of her remaining estate was more like six hundred thousand, which is about eight million today. Just like, what Alana asked, what would I do with a million and maybe a house… like now thinking of it. Because one of her things she spent her money on was a mansion named Villa Lewaro which was a five point five acre plot in Irvington, New York. And I think I might have to do like a drive by field trip. I know where Irvington, New York is and by looking up the street name when I was like googling all this, I think I know exactly where it is. This was also for Madam CJ to be closer to her daughter at this point. And at the end of this like all, happy and sad, Madam CJ continued her avid philanthropy until her death from kidney failure by bequeathing two thirds of her net profits to charities and thousands of dollars to different schools and individuals. There is a Netflix special that’s out. I have not watched it yet. I thought it was still in production. Lexi was the kind beautiful soul to send me an email. Lexi, have you watched it and can you give us a review?

Lexi: I watched it. Since I didn't dive as deep into research on her as you did, I'm not sure how accurate it is because there were you know little stories you didn't cover… Because this is like it's not just one movie it's like a multi part series, so I guess my curiosity maybe after you watch it you can tell us how accurate it was. But from an entertainment standpoint it was really good.

Haley: This is going to be like once I'm done with like writing my thesis and everything–

Lexi: Treat yo self.

Haley: –and be like this is amazing.

Lexi: Yeah, it was like… In terms of entertainment value it was a really amazing woman focused story which I appreciate.

Haley: I've seen the previews, I knew it was coming out and I really thought I was still in production or was like postponed because La Rona. Those looked fabulous.

[Archival Audio of a song about San Francisco]

Alana: So I initially found out about my lady from Drunk History, which is classic me. It’s one of my favorite shows. I have said on this podcast before that I was devastated when it was canceled. I'm still devastated. I don't think I'll ever be over that loss in my life. But then in researching this lady I found out that very little of the Drunk History story is accurate and so that broke my heart. And I'm glad I followed up with some research and wasn't just like using Drunk History as a source because I don't think that's a good idea. Okay, so, Mary Ellen Pleasant was born no one really knows when so I can't tell you her star sign, but in 1814ish. One of my sources said August 19, 1814, which would make her a Leo and I definitely can see her as a fire sign. She wrote three autobiographies, and every single one gives a different birth date and even year. And also no one even really knows where she was born it's possible she was born free in Philadelphia or into slavery in Georgia, who knows? Only Mary Ellen, and she's dead. She spent her early life in Nantucket, Massachusetts where she was indentured to a family of abolitionists. Insert lady doing equations meme. The… I… What? I don't understand how abolitionists owned slaves. Like Alexander Hamilton owned slaves. What's his name? His lover? I haven’t watched Hamilton in so long.

Lexi: Oh, John Laurens.

Alana: Also owned slaves.

Lexi: Yes. But they were like “slavery bad, but we own slaves.”

Alana: I forgot where I was. Oh, I was at my insert lady doing equations meme because abolitionists who own people make me confused. Eventually she was married to a man named James Henry Smith who was either white or biracial or mixed race. And he was an abolitionist as well but also a plantation owner. That's one of those things that I am a big ole question mark. So the two of them as a couple gave a lot of money to the abolitionist movement because they had a lot of money from owning a plantation that I think meant they also owned people, which I am so confused. But James Smith died in the early 1840s and left her a lot of money, some of which she invested and some of which she kept giving away to the cause. The cause of abolition. She got remarried to John Pleasant and they moved to San Francisco to avoid slavers, so formerly a local lady for Haley, even though she doesn’t live in San Francisco anymore. I'm not sure what happened to him. He is never mentioned again besides she moved with him to San Francisco. Mary Ellen became business partners with a man named Thomas Bell. It's possible they were romantically involved but Mary Ellen like found a wife for him, so I don't think so. But anyway they amassed thirty million dollars.

Haley: Throuple?

Alana: Throuple, maybe, I don’t know. Together they amassed thirty million dollars in back then money which is almost a billion dollars today. In the 1890 census, she listed her profession as capitalist which is like so on the nose and I love it. She owned laundries and restaurants and dairies and all these other things. She even owned a Wells Fargo. And she hired Black people, especially Black people who had escaped slavery, to work in them, which gave them opportunities that they probably wouldn't have had otherwise. And this is where she gets the nickname– she starts to get the nickname the Mother of Civil Rights in California. She was a light skinned Black woman, so she could have been white passing, and she did until a census taken after she had gotten kind of successful and amassed all this wealth, she wrote in that she was Black instead of white. She also, furthering her title of Mother of Civil Rights in California, she sued a cable car company for not allowing Black people on at all, setting the stage for Rosa Parks to be even allowed on the bus in the first place to refuse to give up her seat. She won several other lawsuits regarding racial discrimination in the 1860s and 70s and she starts getting notorious among white people. Obviously, because powerful Black women make white people uncomfortable. That’s just a fact. And so many people started calling her Mammy Pleasant which she hated so much because they were like using it derogatorily. Apparently a pastor in Sacramento wrote her a letter addressed to Mammy Pleasant asking for something and she wrote back to him on the same piece of paper because she didn't want to waste her own on him. Big Dick Energy.

Haley: That’s a power move. That’s a power move right there. That’s like saying “best regards” on an email.

Alana: Yeah. Jumping back in time a little bit, in 1859 the abolitionist John Brown led a raid on Harpers Ferry. This is a pretty famous event, he got caught and he was hanged and they found a note in his pocket that basically said here's what I gave you thirty thousand dollars to do– regards to the raid– and it signed, but there's a case of mistaken identity, so no one actually knows who did it. Except, on her deathbed, Mary Ellen confessed to it being her. She pulled the whole “tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me.” And her gravestone reads “friend of John Brown” because she was. After Thomas Bell died, his widow sued Mary Ellen and she lost almost everything. So there was some falling out there that's something happened. It's also possible she studied voodoo like the actual voodoo like the Haitian voodoo, not like the garbage touristy shit, from Marie Laveau herself, who I’m hoping maybe we’ll cover at some point. I think Marie Laveau was really cool. But that's one of those things that like she said and can't really be corroborated even against Mary Ellen’s own stories. I think it's possible that that's just like something she said to scare the white people even further. There's a park in San Francisco named after her. Haley did you ever go?

Haley: I feel like I do, in the sense I know the plot of land, or like general area. Is it in Golden Gate? Because Golden Gate Park has like a bunch of little pockets.

Alana: No, it's on the corner– it's on the corners of some streets. Anyway there's a park in San Francisco and she haunts it and she has been known to–

Haley: I wish I’d known that. I really… I would have gone.

Alana: I know. Yeah, she throws eucalyptus nuts at people, supposedly. I think that’s cool. That’s what I would do. And she used her position to make a better life for herself and better the lives of others and used her capabilities… And she had… She was such a smart woman, and so capable, and so manipulative but in a good way. She knew what people were thinking and could use that to her advantage, and not just to her own advantage, to the advantage of the people in her community who she really helped. And the best quote from her is “I'd rather be a corpse than a coward” and that's what makes me think she is a fire sign.

Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter and Instagram at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of this episode will be on ladyhistorypod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review, or tell your friends, and if you don't like the show, keep it to yourself.

Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra you can find her on Twitter and Instagram at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, GarageBand, and Amelia Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us, next time, on Lady History.

[OUTRO MUSIC]

Haley: Next week on Lady History, we’re diving into some misconceptions. Retelling the stories that should have been told the first time.

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theonyxpath · 4 years

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They Came From Beneath the Sea! art by Larry Blamire

In advance of the release of They Came from Beneath the Sea! and its upcoming stretch goals, please enjoy these aquatic menaces from Monsters of the Deep!

Dire Sea Sponges

“I think a need another sponge.”

— Doctor Jamil Paval

All-natural sea sponges have been a luxury item in many homes for the past century. Divers in the Mediterranean and North America pull these exfoliating delights up from coastal reefs and sea floors for pampered enjoyment and profit. As with all luxury items, demand increased, and synthetics just weren’t cutting it. Divers went all over coastal areas finding new supplies, but governments were wary about over-picking these natural filters.

Acme Company, determined to edge out competitors, performed experiments on increasing the reproduction rate of ordinary sea sponges. Soon Acme Company had the most sponges on the market. Everyone agreed their sponges were the best, so good in fact that everyone wanted more than one for their shower needs. To say they were successful is a misnomer. They did indeed create a sea sponge with rapid reproduction and growth rates, but in doing so, they introduced a high level of mutation and fast evolutionary processes.

The results of Acme Company’s meddling are Dire Sea Sponges. These sponges are larger, faster-growing, and faster reproducing than the average sea sponge. Additionally, the Dire Sea Sponges have developed minimum sentience and an incredible psychic ability. Dire Sea Sponges emit a low-frequency wave that is strikingly similar to deep sleep brainwaves in humans. With these waves, Dire Sea Sponges have been able to implant deeply seeded messages and commands within the human mind, effectively brainwashing them.

All of Acme’s top leadership are completely brainwashed by the sponges. Acme sponges are sold in a salt-water container, and instructions indicate that the sponge must always remain moist. Engineers under Dire Sea Sponge control are working to engineer newer and better sponge habitats as well as helping the sponges achieve greater sentience.

Right now, the sea sponges are barely at survive-and-reproduce stage. People who buy one sponge invariably buy a second and place them together. Then they miraculously have three to four sponges in a matter of weeks. They gift these to friends who then have even more sponges. And while the commands to help the sponges reproduce are not a danger in themselves, the implication that even more people are under the influence of a rapidly mutating species’ mental control is horrifying.

Sponge reproduction rates are already getting out of hand, leading divers and Acme employees to dump extras back into the sea at an alarming rate. Unchecked, sponges could overtake a home or place of business in just a few months. Rapid reproduction in the sea could cause catastrophic issues for marine habitats, especially since there are few natural predators to the sea sponge. With their rapid expansion and ease of mental control, sponges are positioning themselves to be a staple in every shower across America. It’s only a matter of time before their cognitive levels make them dangerous beyond hope.

Goals

A Dire Sea Sponge’s primary goal is to reproduce. Though scientists and those monitoring the situation believe secondary goals are freeing non-dire sea sponges from captivity and eventual death, overtaking human communities, and eventually eradicate the human plague on Earth.

Story Hook

Janice Langstrom was the first in her women’s group to buy an all-natural sea sponge. The Acme salesman was very convincing. And she loved it so much she needed more. And soon it was all the rage to have two or more sea sponges. When Janice’s husband was found dead in her backyard drowned by the garden hose, everyone was sad and blamed Janice for killing him. Which she fully admitted to doing. When it happened to Harriet and Adelle’s husbands, the officials stopped the presses from reporting on it. Now the community is in a lock-down, but people are still dying under mysterious watery circumstances.

System

A single Dire Sea Sponge is a trivial threat to deal with. Even dozens of Dire Sea Sponges pose no physical threat to a person. The real threat is their ability to control people. Anyone could be under the sway of a Dire Sea Sponge to protect it. The following statistics are provided for any mind control abilities it might use.

Skills: Persuasion 5, Survival 3

Attributes: Intellect 1, Cunning 1, Resolve 2; Might 0, Dexterity 0, Stamina 1; Presence 0, Manipulation 2, Composure 0

Special Rules

Subsonic Mind Control: By emitting subsonic waves, the Dire Sea Sponge can exert mental control over a human. To use this power, roll the sponge’s Persuasion + Manipulation against a Difficulty equal to the victim’s Resolve. Each additional sponge in the vicinity adds 1 Enhancement (to a maximum of 5 Enhancement) to this action as they collectively brainwash their victims. Once controlled, a sponge can send simple commands to their minions as a reflexive action as long as they are within 10 feet. Most sponges insist their minion carry at least one or two of them around to ensure their controlled victims do exactly what they want.

Jelly Men

“That man over there in the jacket is giving me the heebie-jeebies. He hasn’t done anything except motion for me to come over, but I swear he isn’t wearing any clothes under that coat.”

— Josh Hardy, beachgoer in Gulf Shores, Alabama

Stories of the Jelly Men started circulating around ten years ago. It started as an urban legend, or a bit of a spoof story. All along the coastal region in the Gulf of Mexico, from Florida to Yucatan, stories sprang up of a mysterious man walking alone on the beach wearing a trench coat. If anyone approached this man, he would give them a hug which would follow quickly with a terrible sickness which often lead to death. Witnesses state that the man would walk into the sea and disappear.

Versions of this story made their way up and down the east and west coasts of North America stretching even into South America by way of beachgoers in Brazil and Venezuela. Sometimes it was a woman in a black gown, sometimes a surfer who was signaling for help. Regardless of location, the story always described a deadly illness that followed contact. Anyone who heard the story wrote it off as stories told to spook swimmers and get a laugh. Clearly anyone on the beach in a trench coat or a gown is part of a hoax, as everyone knows proper swimwear is trunks or a bikini.

Yet, these stories are not a hoax, nor a joke. Jelly Men are aliens that look like large jellyfish. More than a decade ago, the Jelly Men first attempted contact with humanity. They had been watching swimmers and fishermen for some time and attempted to blend in during their first attempts at contact. They came ashore wearing whatever cast-off clothing they found adrift in the oceans, often oversized canvas jackets from rain-lost ships. Jelly Men communicate through psychic impressions passed through electrical transmissions. In the water, these transmissions can conduct a few feet away and reach their intended target, but without the aid of salinized water, the Jelly Men must come into physical contact with whomever they wish to communicate with. They had no idea that their touch would be so deadly to humans. They don’t cause disease, instead the toxins in their skin are so poisonous to humans that just a small dose is enough to lead to fevers and destruction of internal organs. If left unchecked, the victim usually dies.

After the few attempts went so awry, the Jelly Men became cautious of communication attempts. They tried all sorts of methods to send their psychic impressions to humans without also killing them, but without physical contact, their attempts were fruitless. The harder they tried, the more stories spread. Before long, coming into contact with a human was an endeavor in itself, as people would run away from the slow-moving not-quite human-looking man in a trench coat trundling along the beach.

While communication seemed impossible, the Jelly Men did learn something valuable from their experiences. They finally had a way to combat the humans who were in the seas polluting their home and killing their brethren. Jelly Men attacked fishing vessels, military vessels, and pleasure boats across the Gulf Coast, targeting those doing the most harm, in their eyes. With a single touch, a human would fall ill and without proper medical attention would die shortly after. Those rare few who received medical attention drew the Jelly Men’s attention, which usually led to more touches and eventually everyone dies.

Goals

Communication is still the Jelly Men’s main goal. Defending against humans responsible for making the seas unsafe for marine life is a secondary goal, and not one that all Jelly Men agree on how to handle. Killing them is easy, but if only they could communicate maybe the humans would stop on their own.

Story Hook

Dr. Lolly Humperdink is the head of the marine lab in Destin, Florida. Three nights ago, she reported a suspicious man hanging around her lab to the police. The report indicated that he seemed to want to come in, but he kept to the shadows. She tried to call out to him, invite him in for coffee or cake, but he refused to speak. He did though try to reach out to her for a hug, but since she had barely met the man, she refused. She was worried that he might be disoriented or homeless. Last night, Dr. Humperdink fell ill with a terrible fever. The police refuse to release information about the incident, though she told a reporter that the man is responsible for her fever, and he just wanted to talk.

System

The stats below indicate an average Jelly Man.

Skills: Athletics 4, Close Combat 3, Empathy 3, Integrity 2

Attributes: Intellect 3, Cunning 3, Resolve 5; Might 3, Dexterity 4, Stamina 2; Presence 2, Manipulation 3, Composure 3

Health: 7

Special Rules

Stinging Tentacle: The Jelly Men’s flesh produces a potent toxin which acts like a jellyfish sting. This toxin has a damage rating of 4 with the Continuous (hour) and Deadly tags. If the contact site receives proper care, such as a good washing or antiseptics, then it no longer affects the victim.

He Just Wants a Hug: The Jelly Men are adamant in their attempts to communicate with humans, and so each time they touch one they send a simple message, “Please do not be afraid, we want to be your friends.” This message comes in the form of psychic impressions of friendliness, safety, and a warm embrace. In water, the Jelly Men’s psychic impressions may reach their target with a successful Empathy + Presence roll against a Difficulty equal to the target’s Composure.

#Onyx Path Publishing

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newstfionline · 5 years

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California wildfires rage, killing at least nine and putting tens of thousands at risk

By Joel Achenbach, Katie Mettler, E. Aaron Williams and Lindsey Bever, Washington Post, November 10, 2018

THOUSAND OAKS, Calif.--California is on fire again, north and south, the flames deadly and swift, fanned by ferocious Santa Ana winds and fueled by dry tinder. The fires have killed at least nine people, immolated a mountain town and jangled the nerves of many tens of thousands of residents forced to evacuate their homes.

The fires have thus far proved to be unstoppable, operating at flash-flood velocity. The big wildfire here in Southern California, known as the Woolsey Fire, quadrupled in size Friday, covering more than 22 square miles, with no containment. It easily jumped eight-lane Highway 101 and rambled over the Santa Monica Mountains to posh Malibu, where it torched homes and cars. The wildfire then finally ran into its only match so far: the Pacific Ocean.

The bulletins from the northern part of the state were even worse. At least nine people died in or near their homes or vehicles as they tried to outrace the Camp Fire, which devastated the mountain town of Paradise, about 90 miles north of the state capital, Sacramento.

Paradise was anything but, with block after block of destruction, downed power lines, charred cars in the middle of roads, utility poles still smoldering and spot fires around the town, though there wasn’t much vegetation left to burn. Random buildings still stand in the town of 27,000, but for every edifice that survived, dozens that did not.

Marc Kessler, 55, a science teacher at one of Paradise’s middle schools, said the smoke was rising from the Sierra Nevada foothills when he arrived at work Thursday.

“The sky turned black; you couldn’t tell it was daytime,” he said. “It was raining black pieces of soot, coming down like a black snowstorm and starting fires everywhere. Within minutes, the town was engulfed.”

Kessler said authorities told teachers to forget seat belt laws and start piling the 200 or so students who showed up for class Thursday morning into the teachers’ personal vehicles. Some frantic parents showed up to get their children, he said, and bus drivers drove through flames to help save children’s lives.

Kessler said one of the students in his car said, “Oh, look at the moon!”

“I said, ‘That’s not the moon. That’s the sun,’ “ he recalled, his voice breaking. “There were times when there were flames near the vehicles. There were times when you couldn’t see through the smoke. Some of our teachers didn’t think they’d survive.”

About 23.4 million Californians were under red-flag warnings into Friday, and officials warned that flames could reach the city of Chico, a college town of more than 90,000 about six miles from Paradise. People scrambled to evacuate.

The Camp Fire had covered 110 square miles and was just 5 percent contained as of Friday, state officials said, warning that there might be additional deaths that they cannot confirm until they can safely enter smoldering neighborhoods. It is a terrifying situation for family members of residents who were last heard from when the town and others nearby were ordered evacuated.

“We didn’t have much time; it came too fast,” said Cory Nichols, a barber who fled his home in Paradise. “We were going to sell the house. Don’t have to now.”

California has experienced debilitating fires of unprecedented regularity in the past few years, many of them encroaching on towns and cities built up to the edges of forests in areas prone to wildfires. In August, the Mendocino Complex Fire became the largest wildfire ever recorded in the state, burning more than 400,000 acres. The previous record was set less than a year before, when the Thomas Fire burned through more than 280,000 acres in Ventura and Santa Barbara counties. In October 2017, some 21 wildfires burned nearly 95,000 acres and 7,000 buildings in Sonoma and Napa counties in the heart of California’s wine country, killing 40 people.

The California fire season normally begins in late spring and lasts through summer. But hot, dry weather has persisted this year well into autumn, and the winter rains have yet to arrive. The Santa Ana winds, which blow out of the Sierra Nevadas and toward the western coastline, are building into howling gales that dry the vegetation and the soil, creating potentially explosive fire conditions.

In Thousand Oaks, 40 miles from downtown Los Angeles, residents have endured a brutal week.

This city, cherished by its residents for clean air and low crime, already was in mourning after Wednesday night’s mass shooting at a country music bar. At a vigil downtown Thursday night, people had lit candles and pondered an unspeakable crime. Just hours later, the same area was choked in smoke and imperiled by the Woolsey Fire.

In the pre-dawn darkness, a gusty wind whipped American flags flying at half-staff in honor of the shooting victims. An orange glow could be seen throughout the city, sometimes leaping into bright flares along the ridgelines. Emergency bulletins buzzed cellphones in the middle of the night, sometimes urging evacuations.

“It’s dangerous to sleep all night,” said Sergio Figueroa, 34, who was dropping his wife off at a hotel where she works on Friday. Late Thursday and into the early hours Friday, he watched television, knowing his home was in the “voluntary” evacuation zone. He said he allowed himself one hour of shut-eye--but not actual sleep.

“You just close your eyes and stay alert,” he said.

At 3 a.m., streets normally empty at that hour were filled with parents, children and pets evacuating as the orange glow crept closer.

“Don’t wait too long. Get out when they tell you to get out,” said Uber driver Brent Young, 52, who was about to take a client from Thousand Oaks to the Los Angeles International Airport through a roundabout route that would circumvent closed freeways and dangerous conditions.

The problem was figuring out which way to go. There were fires in many places. Even before the Woolsey Fire kicked up, another wildfire, the Hill Fire, threatened homes west of town. Highway 101 was closed in both directions at various times for two different fires. The only thing inhibiting the Hill Fire was that it ran into the footprint of a 2013 fire and lacked fuel, officials said.

Longtime resident Peggy Smith, 64, was filling her gas tank at 4 a.m. Friday at a Mobil station in an area under voluntary evacuation. She said people began flocking to Thousand Oaks in the 1960s after airline pilots on the flight path into Los Angeles noticed that there was no smog here. The pilots moved in, and then police officers, and firefighters.

She was ready for the fire. She needed only 10 minutes to load her car with her favorite family photos, important documents, clothes and food.

“My son’s a fireman. I was married to a fireman. I’m not scared,” Smith said. “I have full faith in our fire departments.”

They were busy. The trucks rolled through neighborhoods and zoomed down Highway 101. People had fled, power was out, and the only light came from the fires.

“This is crazy,” said Paige Gordon, a real estate agent who was checking on a friend’s multimillion-dollar house in Westlake Village as flames devoured the parched brush. “We have all aspects of Ventura County on fire.”

As he turned on sprinklers in his friend’s backyard, an eruption of flame on the hillside caught his attention: “There’s the fire right there!”

Smoke loomed over Thousand Oaks like a thunderhead, the black cloud slowly advancing toward the sea as it crossed hills covered in blackened stubble.

In Malibu, film and television producer Ben Rosenblatt, 35, took one look at the approaching fire and knew he had to get out fast. He had just enough time to walk the dog first. There aren’t many ways in and out of Malibu, with the roads that wind up through the canyons impassable because of fire. That left the Pacific Coast Highway, where traffic moved at a crawl. The drive to Santa Monica should have taken him 35 minutes, but the navigation app on his phone said it would be 2 hours 35 minutes.

“It’s like a slow-motion race with massive fire clouds behind you and bumper-to-bumper traffic in front,” Rosenblatt said. “Think of any disaster movie you’ve seen where you’re trying to outrun the storm but it’s happening so slowly.”

Back in Thousand Oaks, the smoke would recede and then billow up again as a spot fire flared anew. At a teen center, set up as an evacuation site for those fleeing the fires, people became nervous when they saw flames on a nearby hillside.

In the parking lot, people slept in their cars beside their cats and dogs, their belongings packed in the back.

Mary Leighton, 57, of West Lake, had just gone to bed Thursday night when her brother heard on the news that they needed to evacuate.

“You think, ‘What do you take?’ “ She said. “My mind went blank.”

Five minutes later, carrying her husband’s ashes and her cat, Pumpkin, she and her family were gone. They slept in a shelter overnight and woke Friday morning to news that homes in their neighborhood had burned. Leighton didn’t know whether her home survived.

#California #California wildfires #Woolsey Fire #Camp Fire

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diyunho · 6 years

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The Joker x Reader - “The Wedding Ring”

Your husband’s untimely death left you broken to pieces and incapable of opening your heart to anybody else. That’s why your father can’t understand how The Joker got under your skin since he believes The King of Gotham is the last person worthy of your affection. And you finally ask yourself the same thing because J really crossed the line: he got rid of your wedding ring, the only token of your lost love you swore you won’t part with.

Today 10:35am

“Stop yelling at me!” you frown and The Joker gets in your face, enraged.

“Why are you still wearing the wedding ring, hm? Your husband is dead!” J keeps on going, pissed one of his deals went up in flames and he is taking it out on you. You’ve been fighting for the last twenty minutes: both fired up, shouting mean things back and forth.

You take a deep breath, biting on your cheek.

“Shut up…” you mumble, upset his insensitivity is hurting so much.

“He’s been fucking dead for years!” J continues, ignoring your request and shoves you against the rail of the balcony. “Take it off !!!” he commands, forcefully grabbing your hand and trying to get to your ring.

You push him away, attempting to run but he grabs your waist, slamming you on the couch and gets on top of you while you struggle to flee.

“What are you doing? Let go !” you wiggle under his weight and whimper when one of his knees firmly get in between your legs, making it impossible to get up. “Stop it !” you pull on his jacket, screaming when he pins your hands above your head, slowly sliding your wedding ring off your finger.

“Piece of shit trinket !” The Joker huffs, so mad he can’t even think at this point; the fact that you are fighting back doesn’t help. “You can’t keep this! I’m sick of seeing it all the time!” he shouts in your ear and you try to bite him. “Feisty, aren’t we?” he growls and pushes himself more into you, leaving you breathless for a few seconds. J takes advantage of your lowered resistance and snatches the treasure, getting up in a hurry.

“Please don’t take my ring !” you beg, starting to cry when he glares at you with madness in his eyes. “Please give it back,” the sorrowful plea just brings a huge grin on his face. You get off the couch too, walking towards him with shaky legs, terrified of what he might do.

“You want it back?” he pants, grinding his teeth.

You nod a yes, watching in horror when J suddenly turns towards the city, throwing the wedding ring off the balcony as far as he can.

“You can’t have it back!”

You gasp, unable to move.

“My…my ring…” you mutter, shocked. “Why did you do that for?…” you gulp and more tears roll down your cheeks even if you can’t cry at this point.

The Joker doesn’t answer; he enjoys his little triumph but the demented smile freezes on his lips when he sees the look in your eyes.

“Why did you do that for?…” you repeat, sniffling, completely at a lack of words. You stare at each other for a few seconds before you turn around and leave.

He doesn’t stop you.

***************

1 month ago

“Just look at his mug!” your father points at the laptop screen, bothered by your persistence in dating The Clown Prince of Crime. “He looks completely gone with the wind!” your dad concludes, logged into the FBI Most Wanted website. That’s how he likes to refer to J’s amazing personality: either “gone with the wind” or “not all at home”.

You sigh, underlining the obvious:

“Dad, your picture is right next to his…”

“So?! That doesn’t count!! I’m your father!” Jase fumes, irritated.

Known as The Godfather, the mobster is the leader of New York and Chicago gangs. He visits Gotham very often with business and will stay at the penthouse for a few days (at your insistence, of course). You’ve been with The Joker for about a year and Jase’s opinion is unchanged: he doesn’t like your boyfriend and the feeling is reciprocal. But they have black market deals to honor so here you are: déjà vu situation and nothing to do but try to avoid conflict.

“Hello Padre,” J walks in the living room, home at last after being away all day. You father hates the nickname given by the blue eyed pest so he mutters through his clenched jaw:

“Clown,” comes out instead of a formal acknowledgement.

“I’m glad you made it safe and sound Padre,” he smirks and rushes to kiss you, just to piss off your parent, aware there is nothing he can do about it. J purrs, holding your waist with one hand and groping your butt with the other while you pinch his arm, breaking the kiss.

“Seriously baby…” you whisper and Jase rolls his eyes, scoffing.

He can’t stand The Joker and that feeling of wanting to blow his brains out is becoming unbearable.

Your dad noticed something was going on at a meeting where The Joker said something random and you were the only one that laughed like crazy.

“So flippin’ funny,” you kept on cracking up in the background and J was surprised someone got the reference to that obscure movie he was sure nobody saw. He didn’t tell it as a joke but you got the pun regardless. A lot of people talking in the same time and yet he still heard you talking to yourself, giggling from time to time:

“Hehehe, that was hilarious !” When you finally looked up from your cellphone and decided to pay attention to the negotiations, you noticed he was gazing your way. You bit on your lower lip when J discretely winked and it meant he wanted you to wait after the gathering was done. You’ve been secretly seeing him for a couple of months, you father didn’t know at that point.

The meeting ended and your dad was waiting in the limo, not understanding why you stayed behind. Jase went back inside the hideout and almost had a stroke at the young age of 63 when he discovered the two of you making out behind some ammo boxes. He wished to drag you out of there, but you were a grown woman, not a little girl anymore and he had no say in your choice. Even if your choice was the dammed green haired Clown he could never tolerate.

His heart ached at the thought that The Joker got under your skin, completely clueless on how to handle a relationship, especially after he was the first one you showed real interest in since your husband’s death. The King of New York and Chicago was respected and feared, yet nothing scared him more than his only child being hurt again after she’s been through hell.

You married Nate when you were both 22; your father liked him so much he was planning to make the young man a full partner and leader over the south-west branch in Chicago. After celebrating one year of marriage, a routine health checkup revealed he had a quite advanced stage of leukemia. Nothing was spared in order to make him better, but despite all the efforts, the disease progressed alarmingly fast and he died within a few months.

At 24 you were already a widow, broken and lost without the soulmate you didn’t spend more than a day apart from before. You grew up together and always knew he was the one; and now Nate was gone forever. Jase watched you wither and fade under the tremendous grief of your loss, incapable of helping a daughter that seemed to die a little bit more inside with each passing week.

And nevertheless, here you are, offering whatever is left of your affection to a person that doesn’t deserve it. Why do you even like The Joker? He’s so different than Nate, can’t even compare the two of them. Your father can’t understand and it irks him to see your feelings wasted in such a hasty manner.

“Say Padre,” J lets you go and your parent’s murderous intent intensifies, “my Queen won’t be home tonight and I can’t sleep without her. If you have insomnia, I’ll keep you company,” that eerie grin makes Jase snort.

“I think I’m good, Clown. I’m tired enough to sleep through the night,” the proposal is elegantly rejected. Your father truly has class.

Can’t sleep without her; what a bunch of crap! your dad thinks, wanting to punch J’s lights out.

Unfortunately, insomnia sneaks up on him and there he is, still awake at 1 in the morning. Maybe some cold water will help. As soon as Jase takes the corner towards the kitchen, he sees The Joker on the couch in the living room, rubbing his eyes and watching TV.

3:11am and still awake, tossing and turning. Another trip to the kitchen. The Joker is still surfing the channels.

Interesting, The Godfather puckers his lips, intrigued.

4:27am Ughh, insomnia sucks ! Another trip to get tea and J is there, waiting for you, not being able to doze off.

5:32am This time, Jase waits on purpose and checks on your boyfriend. He’s awake.

6:42am Your father peaks his head from behind the wall and realizes you’re on the couch with The Joker, sleeping in his arms. It seems he’s squeezing the life out of you and you wince, uncomfortable, trying to move a bit.

“No…no…” he mumbles and nozzles in your hair, clenching to you like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do.

Would you look at that, the mobster scoffs, this pretentious jerk might have something going for himself.

The next day J leaves first, wanting to organize some things at the main hideout and you and your father will soon follow for an important meeting involving money laundering.

“You want coffee daddy?” you smile, opening the cupboard on top of the sink. ”I have your favorite: raspberry flavored.”

Jase is 63, but his heart still trembles when you call him daddy; reminds him of the good old days.

“Sure, kiddo. Hey, are you ok?” he asks while you cough, then start wheezing.

“Yeah, don’t worry, I’m fine; just my asthma,” you get an inhaler out of a drawer next to the stove and inhale two puffs, calming down.

“I’m glad you keep those in handy,” the relived parent sighs.

“Oh, you have no idea, dad ! J has them stashed all over the place. I mean, I told him it’s not a big deal and it only hits at certain moments, but he freaked out. He makes all of our men carry mini-inhalers in their pockets, this way I don’t have to; it’s kind of embarrassing actually. And he ordered everyone to have at least two inhalers in each car!”

Bullshit, Jase reckons in his mind, passing his fingers through his perfectly styled grey hair.

“Where are you going, daddy?“ you inquire, confused. “Coffee is almost done,”

“I forgot something in my car, Y/N. I’ll be back in a sec.”

Your father takes the elevator to the underground parking that shelters about 50 cars for the moment. He begins to open random ones and yeap: not a single glove compartment is missing inhalers.

I’ll be damned, he squints his eyes, heading towards a large group of henchmen waiting to depart when you’re ready.

“Sir!” they all strengthen their backs, saluting the honored leader.

“My daughter needs an inhaler,” he tests the waters and sure enough everyone is digging in their pockets, taking out the required item.

“Here you go, sir!”

“Want us to take one to her?” several want to know, ready to fulfill the request.

“Nope, I’ll take it,” he grabs a random inhaler from somebody and places it in his jacket.

Hm, the insolent asshole may have something going for himself, Jase concludes, annoyed.

Later in the evening, your dad enters the laundry room at the penthouse, searching for one of his guns: he’s backtracking on his steps, can’t remember where he left it.

You let out a scream and Jase gets out in a hurry, closing the door behind:

“I didn’t see anything!”

The Joker has you naked on the washing machine and he’s only wearing a purple, unbuttoned shirt.

“Oh my God, I thought you locked the door!” you scold him, traumatized your father walked on the two of you in such a compromising situation.

J laughs, keeping your legs around his waist.

“Oops, I guess I didn’t. I was too horny to care,” and he kisses you again like nothing happened.

“Get off me!” you push him away and hop off the washing machine, upset. “So fucking embarrassing…” you mumble and yank his shirt, covering yourself with it.

“Hey, where are you going?!” he flares his arms around when you storm out, slamming the door. “Great !” The Joker grumbles, looking around for something to wear but there’s nothing: everything is in the washing machine, except his shirt…which you took. “This will do,” he concludes, unfolding some paper towels and wrapping a layer around his mid-section.

“Hey Pumpkin!” J shouts when he finally emerges from the laundry room. You already have a pair of jeans and a t-shirt on, jiggling the car keys in one hand. “What’s going on?”

“You !!!!!!” he gets shout at. “Learn how to lock a door when we have guests!!!”

“Huh?!”

“And you !!!!!!” the anger turns towards your dad that nonchalantly pretends to read the newspaper. “Learn how to knock!!”

“It’s the laundry room, kiddo,” he has the nerve to reply.

“I don’t care, dad !!!!!!!” you raise your voice more, stomping towards the stairs since you don’t have the patience to wait for the elevator.

“Such a temper!” your boyfriend growls, pissed, standing in the middle of the living room with a flimsy paper attire.

“Her mom was like that…” Jase comments under his breath.

“You don’t say Padre ! Care to expand on the subject?” The Joker wants to find out the gossip because your dad never makes personal remarks.

“No,” the super short answer doesn’t discourage The King of Gotham.

“I have a bottle of 30 years old whiskey in my office. I’ll share if you share,” the bribing kicks in, J being aware how much your dad likes fine quality scotch.

Jase takes a deep breath, contemplating the offer for once.

“Put some clothes on Clown and I’ll think about it.”

– Your father returns to the penthouse around 10pm. After kind of - sort of chitchatting with The Joker for a while, he had to leave for some of his own business that required immediate attention.

The mobster heads towards his bedroom, but the music coming from the living room makes him turn around so he can take a look. He quietly watches in the shadows while you slowly dance with The Joker. You seem grouchy (probably still mad from the earlier incident) and he’s whispering something in your ear that makes you smile wider and wider.

“Really?” you chuckle and J wickedly smirks.

“I swear on my honor!”

“That’s not good then,” you burry your face in his neck, laughing and he spanks you, aggravated.

“Cut it out, woman!”

Jase feels bad about spying and goes to take a shower. He decides that if you are still there when he comes out, he will ask what he wanted to ask since his arrival: your dad wants you back to New York for a while.

His daughter is still there after he’s done, but he can’t interrupt. You are sitting on your favorite recliner and The Joker is on the floor, comfortable on pillows, trapped between your legs. You two are watching a movie and you play with his hair, caressing it, combing it and even braid a few strands that you undo when you’re done. J purrs, enjoying being spoiled and you massage his shoulders too. From time to time he takes your hands and kisses them, resting his head on your knees.

Would you look at that, Jase thinks, the arrogant prick might have something going for himself.

*****************

Today 11:30pm

Your father was wrong: The Joker doesn’t have anything going for himself ; he never did and never will. The Prince of Crime brings only misery and suffering to those around him. No redeeming qualities, no remorse to show for his despicable actions.

J enters the house you own about 40 miles away from Gotham, wanting to continue the fight from earlier this morning. He has the key and once inside he’s being loud on purpose; surprisingly, you didn’t show up to confront him yet.

“Y/N, where are you?!”

He stumbles on something in the darkness and the glass rolls over, clattering when it hits the marble coffee table. J turns on the lamp besides him and he sees you on the floor in your bath robe, fast asleep with two empty wine bottles by you, the third one unopened. There are pictures with you and Nate scattered all around your body and your boyfriend is not pleased to notice that you ripped a few photos that you two have together. He shivers, getting goose bumps: it’s very cold inside because you got drunk and cried yourself to sleep before closing the sliding door leading to the patio.

The Joker kneels by you, touching your fingers: you’re frozen and don’t even know it. He doesn’t really want to, but he lifts you up, planning to take you to one of the bedrooms upstairs when the black TV screen with only one red word in the middle: “Replay?” gets his attention.

What were you watching?

The remote is on the couch and he takes a sit, still holding you in his arms and presses “play”.

“Me and my lovely wife took refuge under this table,” Nate shows up on the big screen with a very young bride by his side.

“So many people, we need a break,” you sneaker and adjust your white veil. Nate is holding the camera, pecking your temple as soon as you’re done.

The Joker glares at the TV with his mouth opened: he had no idea you had this in your possession.

“This is for our future children,” the groom winks and you elbow him. “They need to see how beautiful their mom is on her wedding day. I mean, look at her: have you ever seen a more gorgeous creature?”

You blush and turn his face towards you, softly kissing him:

“You always say the sweetest stuff…”

“And I mean it,” he kisses you one more time. “I loved your mother since I was 7: I pulled on her ponytail and she hit me in the face with her lunch box. Perfect display of affection, right honey?” “ Yes,” you laugh, being so happy you can’t stay still.

“This is the perfect opportunity for me to have your mom promise something to me. If I have it on camera, she can’t take it back.”

You look at him, wondering what he’s playing at. The groom becomes serious:

“Y/N, I want you to promise me you’ll never take your ring off.” “I don’t plan to,” you interrupt but Nate continues.

“I want you to promise me anyway. You know why?” You nod a no, nervously tracing his tie.

“Because I’m lucky I got an angel to marry me and the world needs to see she’s mine.”

You gasp, your eyes getting teary.

“You say such sweet things…” it’s all you can mumble, emotional at his confession.

“I mean every single one, but you still have to promise.”

“I promise,” you sniffle and he kisses you again.

“Awesome,” your husband smiles. “Now we can live until we’re 85 like we planned and then we can take our relationship to the next level.”

“You’re so funny,” you laugh again, wiping your eyes.

“Where are those kids?” you father’s voice is heard in the background and you shush each other.

“Hahaha, he’s looking for us,” you cover your mouth, accomplice with the handsome groom.

“I guess we have to go,” Nate smacks his lips. “Another kiss for the camera,” he leans over and you are more than excited to fulfill his wish.

The screen goes black, the word ”Replay?” standing out once more.

It takes a few good moments for J to recollect but he finally gets up and the sudden movement wakes you up a little bit.

“Nate,” you groan in pain, “did you come for me?”

“U-hum,” J answers for some reason.

“I waited for years…why are you so late?” the slurry speech makes it hard for The Joker to understand the question but he can still make out what you’re saying.

“I’ve been busy…” he lifts you higher in his arms, careful not to trip on the stairs.

“I’ve missed you so much,” you whimper and cling to his coat, comforted by his warmth.

J is silent and steps inside the first bedroom to his left, carefully laying you in bed.

“Don’t leave…” you implore when he tries to go.

The Joker feels so strange; not sure what to do but he lays by you and your arms go around his neck, tightly holding him.

“My ring is gone…” you breathe on his neck, heartbroken. “I hate him…”

“Don’t hate him…everybody else does…” J exhales, starting to move his fingers up and down your thighs.

“I hope he burns in hell,” you search for his lips in the darkness and kiss him, believing it’s Nate. You taste like wine and he savors the flavor.

“He already is and has been for a long time…” the response makes you snuggle to his chest.

“That’s good…”

“U-hum,” J pecks your forehead and you relax, falling asleep.

*****************

“What are you doing here?!” J hears and scoots over towards you while you back out, having such a migraine from the hangover. You barely opened your eyes and him being there makes you mad.

“Don’t do that to our pictures; it’s rude,” he furrows his inexistent eyebrows and places the photos on your pillow. He spent the morning scotch taping the images you torn apart last night.

“You took my ring,” your voice breaks and he takes your hand while you punch his shoulder, wanting to elude his grasp. “Go away! I hate you!”

“Stop it!!” The Joker threatens and slides the wedding ring on your finger.

You stare at it, stunned.

“M-my ring… You found it?!”

“I didn’t. I had it the whole time. I tossed one of my rings off the balcony, not yours,” he admits, not liking the vulnerability of his actions. “You’re my woman, nobody else’s,” the unexpected disclosure makes you get on your elbow, straining to focus since the terrible headache makes everything spin. “How can I compete with a dead guy, hm?”

It’s so weird and unsettling to hear that coming from him, almost nerve wrecking.

A broken King with a broken Queen.

And nothing to hold the pieces together.

You slide towards him, hesitant.

“After…after my husband died, it took three years for me to go on a date. Things progressively improved a bit, but not too much. Before Nate passed, he was the only man in my life,” and you stop, uncomfortable sharing such intimate details. But you want The Joker to know:

“Every time I kissed someone, it felt like cheating. I only had 4 boyfriends in the last 10 years and every time I slept with them, I felt so guilty afterwards. I can’t explain that dreadful feeling, but it was horrible,” you study his reaction but there’s none. The blue eyes got darker though. “The point is, baby…” and his heart beats faster when you call him that,”… it doesn’t feel like cheating when I’m with you. I don’t feel guilty after we have sex. Do you know how good it is to be able to enjoy my boyfriend without that burden?… I only…”

You don’t get to finish because J cuts you off:

“Sooo, basically what you’re trying to say is that I’m a stud and a very satisfying lover.”

“?????…”

“Jesus, Princess, you don’t have to go through so many loops and chew my ears out with fancy talk just to say you want to have more sex; it’s obvious,” the smug grin returns on his face. “I get it: you were deprived of fun stuff for a long time and then I showed up, willing to take on the challenge. But you know, for having a handful of boyfriends, you sure seem experienced enough. Which arises the question: are you lying to me?” and he rambles on and on until you smile, aware of his strategy.

He has more wisdom and self-praise coming your way and doesn’t give up until you laugh with all your heart listening to such aberrations. At one point you find yourself in his arms, smitten with all that nonsense that keeps on coming out of his mouth.

Just a broken Queen and her broken King.

And maybe something to hold a few pieces together.