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janfraiser · 2 months

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stay by your side every night

post-4x11, but in a fix-it 'verse where Elizabeth never got taken by the replicators. established john/elizabeth -- just a soft little hurt/comfort epilogue to that wonderfully whumpy episode. (assumes Elizabeth took Woolsey's place in the episode plot)

John finds Elizabeth in the makeshift control room as soon as he makes it off the Traveler ship. She’s leaning against the wall, listening to Zelenka’s account of the conditions aboard the cobbled together vessel. Even in the flickering emergency lighting, John can tell from the hand pressed to her forehead that she’s probably having a night even worse than his.

“Radek,” she sighs, “my czech is rusty on a good day, if you can’t get your point across in one language, can we switch to polish, maybe?”

“Tell her later, Radek,” John interrupts. “Elizabeth, Jen needs you in the infirmary.”

He takes her arm, but she goes willingly. “Are Rodney and Daniel okay?”

“They are, but you’re not,” John mutters. “I want you to get checked out.”

“We were never hurt, John,” she sighs, “only stunned. And besides, we both know I have the least to worry about in that regard.”

“Sure,” he agrees sarcastically, “so, you could walk in a straight line right now? If I let go of you?”

She shakes her head. “It’s just a headache. I guess a self-repairing system doesn’t make me immune to dehydration.”

John leans over and kisses her hair before guiding them down the hallway again. “Humor me, sweetheart. Let Jen stick you in a scanner real quick.”

“Only if Daniel and Rodney are out of the woods.”

“Deal.” He squeezes her hip where his hand has settled.

Jen is on his side when he gets there. “Oh, Rodney’s fine, and with Doctor Jackson it’s just a waiting game,” she says. “Elizabeth, go ahead and lie down in the main scanner, will you? While that’s running I’d like to change your bandages, John.”

Elizabeth scowls as she turns to him. “Bandages?”

“Just a few shrapnel scrapes,” he mutters. “You get looked at, I get looked at, yeah?”

He takes off his jacket and shirt, wincing as the bandages and cuts pull with his movements. This is always the worst part of a mission, the coming down, when all of the pain and fear settles in and he has nothing to distract himself. And Keller isn’t super gentle un-taping the gauze, either.

She’s running a stinging rinse over his wounds when her tablet beeps. “Oh… well, no wonder you’re not feeling well, Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth slips out of the scanner. “God. Do I even want to hear it?”

“It’s not a huge deal, all things considered,” Jen assures them. “Your nanites must’ve been affected by the wraith stunner-- makes sense, since they’re electric, even if you’re the source of their electricity. I’m sure when they do their thing and replenish themselves, you’ll feel much better. But I’m guessing that could take twelve to twenty-four hours.”

John reaches out to take Elizabeth’s hand. “I guess you’ll just have to sleep it off.”

She nods, her eyes flicking over him in a distracted manner. “You’re one to talk… John, your back…” her fingers brush over his sensitive skin, but Jen clears her throat.

“Doctor Weir, please don’t touch any of the area I’m disinfecting. None of his wounds are deep, but I’m worried about infection if I don’t clean them properly.”

“Sorry, Jen,” Elizabeth murmurs. John hisses as the doctor douses him again. Elizabeth’s frown deepens. “You got pretty roughed up, huh?”

Her worrying over him is exactly what he <i>doesn’t</i> want. “My ears are ringing a little and I won’t be sleeping on my back for a couple days. I got lucky, really.”

“Don’t forget the two broken ribs,” Jen interjects.

Elizabeth’s expression becomes vacant, but she comes back to herself enough to give him her ‘brave face’ smile. “Looks like we both need a little R&R.”

He leans forward to bury his face in her shoulder. “I feel like I could sleep for a week.”

Elizabeth’s fingers card through his hair, and just when the niceness of holding onto her is starting to overtake the pain from his back, Jennifer interrupts again.

“Elizabeth, please,” the doctor sighs. “You two can hang on as tight as you want as soon as I get the clean bandages on.”

“Sorry, Jen.”

Before they escape the infirmary, John steals a few shelf-stable cold packs. In Elizabeth’s quarters, he finds his way through the dark in concession to her headache, looking for a washcloth or something in her bathroom. Returning to bed, he finds her in one of his old air force t-shirts, hugging a pillow with her eyes screwed shut. He leans down to press a kiss to her temple, laying the wrapped ice pack on her head when she whimpers slightly. “How’s that?”

She lets out a sigh of pleasure. “Really nice. Are you too sore for me to use you as a pillow?”

“Never,” he promises, slipping into her bed. “You scared me today, ‘Lizabeth.”

She pouts at him. “Me? You got blown up.”

He pets her hair absently. “You may be nearly invincible, but if the wraith had decided to feed on you, the nanites wouldn’t have done shit.”

“It was all just terrible timing,” Elizabeth sighs. “I’m just glad we’re back in our own bed.”

“Get some sleep, hon,” John mutters.

“You too.” She nuzzles into his neck. “I’ll still be here if the nightmares wake you up.”

He closes his eyes. “Which one of us d’you think will wake up screaming first?”

“Probably me,” she sighs, “but I’m expecting you to be restless tonight, with your back covered in bandages.”

He grimaces. “If I don’t move, it doesn’t hurt… just feels kinda hot and sore.”

“I’m jealous,” Elizabeth groans. “I swear my head is only getting worse, not better.”

“I can crack a fresh ice pack for you if you want,” he offers. They’re within reach on his nightstand.

“No, it’s cold enough.” She nestles against him even closer. “I just need to fall asleep. Should’ve asked for more sleeping pills.”

John knows she has to take a higher dosage thanks to the nanites processing the medicine out of her system. “I can rub your back until you fall asleep?”

It’s almost too dark to tell, but he thinks she smiles. “You’re too good to me.”

He begins tracing patterns up and down her spine. “I love you, Elizabeth.”

Her voice is already slow and sleepy. “I love you, too.”

#sga #stargate atlantis #sga fic #john sheppard #elizabeth weir #sheppard x weir #stargate atlantis fic #julie writes

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cainiine-a · 2 years

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Since the first day I was clear he did not care about them, that was to say, despite the height difference and vibe, he seemed to brush their mere presence as nothing, snapping back at them if any even approached with so much as a stupid question. So when he came in again a week later and didn't even address them to instead head straight to find their boss it was almost expected. His actions still left questions. A lot perhaps. Slipping into the office only to place a small bag on a counter, leaning for a moment nonchalantly against the door frame as he studied Crow. "Lots of work today?" that was the only introduction. No further greeting. "I brought you some food. Some pelmeni and stroganoff. Made it myself and decided to bring you some. As thanks. For the help, I know it's your and all but..." he glanced at his watched and moved away from the door. "Need to head back. Hopefully you like it. If you need anything you have my number. "

unprompted. / @viscerallii

To say that this morning had been long was an understatement: by the time he had retreated into his office with his phone clasped between his ear and shoulder, a stale cup of coffee in one hand and the interplay of annoyance and impatience drawn cleary on his expression, he had regretfully realized that it was already past lunch. By the time he had dealt with this customer ( or perhaps more fitting barked at the man that a vehicle could not be repaired in twenty-four hours when you deep-fried your engine, god damn it!; why did his customer service kid have to take off today? ), he barely had a second to lean back into his chair and decide that today's lunch would consist of cigarettes and coffee when the door sprung open. The growl that had already begun to form between his lips and teeth quickly drowned in surprise when he recognized the familiar figure in his door, his deep-set scowl replaced by the first grin of the day, though perhaps it still depicted the exhaustion the past hours have brought upon him for he was granted no time to properly welcome him in. Rolling his eyes instead, he gestured to he phone still within his hand. " Oh, ya don't even know. ", was the sole and vauge reply he offered in return, deciding to discard his prior frustrating and instead lean forward on his desk, eyeing him with a curious glint in a reignited bright stare. " So wha' d'ya need? Yer car isn't ready yet, y'know. "

By the time his present had been placed upon the table, his smile stretched beyond the casualness he once tried to meet Levi with and it was evident just how much he appreciated the gesture in the way his fingers fumbled with the bag to allow him a sneaky and hungering glance inside. " Ya made tha'? Holy shit, Levi, I didn't know ya coul' cook! " And even though that thought alone somehow tugged at his heart ( the sensation oddly nostalgic, intensely domestic and briefly did he allow himself to wonder whether Levi felt it too ), he merely nodded and grinned at him with a boyish mirth, calling after him as he rose from his seat in excitement to absolutely devour this meal. " Thanks! Have a nice day a' work--! ", swallowing the 'love' that almost threatened to conclude his exclamation.

Though before he could begin such task he was face to face with Radek, meeting his neutral glare with a bewildered one of his own, though he could clearly sense the comment he was about to receive before it even crept past his lips and thus, in his quest to have his first moment of peace for th day, shut him up before the first syllable was formed. " I'm gonna go have lunch, if anyone needs me I have never worked a' this establishment. " The low, rare chuckle he was met with echoed in tune with his steps but, of course, he could not escape that easily. " Of course. In the meantime, I'll go check if Mr. Doe's car parts have arrived. " Another voice chimed behind him and he felt Miles' grin without even having to turn and face him. " Awh, c'mon Radek, you're just jealous because you ain't got no husband to bring you food! " He flipped both of them off with a grin.

--------------------------------------------------------

Later when he closed up the shop he found his fingers tapping on his phone.

[ text to: Lyosha 🧙‍♀️ ]: hey that food was DELICIOUS! when should I return the bowls?

#viscerallii #(( on today's episode of everyone bullying johnny asdfghj levi come get your hubby pls ))#( the call of mephistopheles. );; -- replied.#( thread: johnny. );;#( v; flesh & blood & bones & wonder. );; -- past.

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foxmuld3r · 2 years

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Stargate prompt for jack/Sam shipmas:

‘You’re such a grinch’

Thank you @stargatelov3r for giving me the prompt and always having faith in my writing !

It was a couple of days before Christmas and Atlantis was abuzz with the festivities. Members of the expedition have been spending the past week putting up decorations across the city, much to Ronon’s confusion and Rodney’s annoyance since members of his science team kept disappearing at random moments. Jack had mixed feelings about the upcoming holiday, it would be the first one knowing John was his son but he was getting old and he felt as if he would be betraying the memory of Charlie if he celebrated with his newly discovered son. He checked his watch, seeing if enough time had passed until he could drag Sam out of her meetings or if John would be back from his mission yet. He knew the Dedalus would be arriving tomorrow and he was slightly worried about the gifts he had gotten for his little family, especially for Sam, he had spent the whole day holed up in Daniel’s room badgering him about finding the perfect gift for Sam. He sidestepped a nervous scientist who was holding a box of decorations and a box of doohickeys, it seemed, it would have offered to help but the small scientist had already rounded a corner and he hadn’t heard any crashes so he assumed they were fine. He slipped into his room to avoid the overkill of merriment that was happening everywhere, he didn’t expect to see Sam sitting at her desk looking over the various emails that Rodney and Radek send her everyday, but he was glad to see her anyway as he slipped an arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss to the top of her head,

“Avoiding the festive cheer are we, Carter?” He murmured jokingly as he stared at the long scientific emails, understanding some of what was being discussed but he liked to leave the science to Sam, he knew just enough to get by as an air officer. “You’re such a grinch, Jack. My meeting with Elizabeth finished early so I thought I would finish some emails discussing this weather system with Rodney and Radek. They think they found this system in one of the recently explored rooms where it can trigger seasonal changes or certain weather, the scientists are pretty excited about it thinking they could make it snow. Don’t pull that face at me, Jack, I’ve seen you enjoy plenty of snow days when we were back in Colorado. I remember that snowball fight with the team.” Teasing him as she leant back in the chair and into his embrace, relishing in the small break before immersing herself into work again. There was a lot of work to be done before she could take a day off, but they were planning to have some sort of ‘Christmas’ party, well winter party as Elizabeth put it so as to include the Athosians, Ronon and everyone else who didn’t exactly celebrate Christmas. “John is here, he was trying to get away from everyone harassing him about leave and other decisions to do with Christmas and missions. He got a bit overwhelmed so he came here, said he hadn’t been sleeping well recently. He fell asleep on the couch a while ago, I thought it would be best to let him sleep.” She had managed to take off his boots and place a blanket over him, brushing the hair out of his tired eyes and taking out his comm before deciding to work silently from her office. She turned in her chair, taking out a fake bit of mistletoe from her pocket, showing him cheekily, standing up so she could pull his face down for a kiss, “I’m sure you’re not too much of a grinch to ignore mistletoe” Never tiring of the feeling of his rough palm against her face and his lips connecting with hers, his stubble grazing her face. The kiss ended too soon but they stayed together in their shared embrace for a while before stepping away. He was slightly startled when Sam pulled away quickly, running into their shared room before appearing not a minute later, pressing a present into his hands. “Open it.” Was told to him softly.

He carefully unwrapped it, his desire to preserve the moment as he felt Sam’s anxious eyes on him. His hands felt the smooth wood of a photo frame and the gloss of the glass. The wrapping paper fell to the floor to reveal 4 pictures spaced out and divided by the strong wood. The first picture caused the breath to be caught in his throat, it was of him knelt down next to Charlie wearing matching baseball caps and Charlie wearing a baseball glove too big for him. He remembered that day, he was on leave and had taken Charlie to a baseball game to celebrate, Charlie had been ecstatic. The photo next to it was one of him and John standing in the Atlantis gate room, Sam had jokingly asked to get a picture because they had managed to survive a mission together without being captured, injured or killed. Everyone had jokingly clapped and John had feigned offence even when Rodney had sarcastically told him he should check his head. It had been a good day that day.

The last two pictures were of family. His family back in Colorado at the SGC: Sam, Janet, Daniel, Teal’c, Hammond and him, the second year in the stargate programme, Daniel still had that ridiculous haircut that he enjoyed ruffling to wind him up sometimes. The last picture was taken a few months ago in one of the Atlantean common rooms, they had fallen asleep watching the Fellowship of the Ring after a particularly harrowing mission. He didn’t even know this picture had been taken. He and Sam were asleep in each other’s arms on one sofa, Elizabeth asleep while Teyla in the same arm chair was following the film with confusion. John and Ronon were laughing while Rodney was trying very hard to seem angry at whatever they were joking about. Carson, Janet, Teal’c, Jonas, Daniel and Cameron were all spread around with a range of food showing just how long the film had been going on. This was the family he had now. Stuck for words he gently placed the frame on the desk and pulled Sam in for a deep kiss, his hands finding their way into her short hair while her hands took their position at the back of his neck and in his hair. She had created this for him, encouraged him to take the chance of being a father again and giving him this Christmas. “Sam, let’s get married again. I love you.” Take a short breath before he connected their lips again, to show his gratitude, dipping her ever so slightly to make her laugh. “Of course I’ll marry you again, Jack, even if it’s just to see you in your uniform.” Maybe her husband wasn’t so much of a grinch after all, maybe he just needed the people to make him feel again.

#stargate atlantis #stargate sg1 #jack o neill x Sam Carter #o neill x Carter #fic prompt #Sam/jack Christmas fic prompt #have had massive writers block for ages and I finally managed to write something for this prompt #sorry it is so bad

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logicgunn · 4 years

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Proposal Squared

For @cerulean-beekeeper

Inspired by her Plotbunny

***

The ring is beautiful; brushed titanium banded with a bright cut channel. Engraved on the inside is an infinity symbol and it sits snugly in a leather ring box lined with dark green satin.

John just stands there looking nervous and earnest and, god help him, adorable, and with each silent second that passes his expression gets tighter and tighter until he’s furrowing his brow.

“It is perfect,” Radek tells him with absolute confidence. He hands the ring box back to John, who looks down at it with worried eyes.

“Are you sure? Because you are the person that knows him best, and if it isn’t perfect, if I could have picked a better-.”

“Rodney will love it.” Radek is certain of this, because it’s exactly the same as the ring Rodney showed Radek three weeks ago, except that it’s sized to fit a wider finger. “Besides, I think you know him a little better than I do, no?”

“It wasn’t very expensive,” John confides in hushed tones. “But it was the only one that wasn’t...garish.”

“Garish is bad,” agrees Radek. “Garish would bring Rodney out in hives, and then I would have to suffer his wrath as he took it out on all of us.” Because he wouldn’t want to take it out on you, he doesn't say.

“Cool.” John closes the box and grins. “I was thinking about asking him at the harvest celebration, maybe make a thing of it?”

“No!” yells Radek, and everyone within earshot turns to look at them. He waves them off and tugs at John’s arm, pulling him into the corner of the lab. Rodney’s already expressed discomfort for such a public affair, had made Radek promise on his contribution to their Nobel Prize winning work that he wouldn’t tell a soul, for fear of some kind of public involvement. He’s got to get John’s thoughts to something private. “I mean, that would be very big and very grand and very...festive...but perhaps something a little quieter, more intimate, ano?”

“We could go for a trip in a ‘jumper...”

“Yes, yes, the eclipse on M7R-449 next week?”

“I think Lorne is taking Parish to see that. Wouldn’t want to step on any toes.”

Radek racks his brains for another idea. “You could....Oh! The nebula on the outskirts of this galaxy? We have long range sensor readings, but up close it will be beautiful. We have been meaning to send someone to chart and photograph it, but no one has the time. Rodney would appreciate it; he often forgets to take time to look at the sky even though he is an astrophysicist.”

“That sounds great, Radek, thanks.”

“How about a picnic?" A Rodney McKay with a full stomach is more pliable than one without.

“No.” John shakes his head. “Never again. I took him on a picnic once and he spent the whole evening comparing it to my date with Chaya. He was sulking for weeks after that”

“Still, you will need something edible,” insists Radek. “Something decadent.”

“The marines have a chocolate fountain in the rec room. I could get some melted chocolate and some of those strawberry-like things from M2X-332?”

“Ah, very romantic.”

There’s a rush outside the lab and one very panicky Rodney comes striding in through the doors. “Radek! I need to talk to you about- John?”

John stealthily slides the ring box into his pocket and smiles at Rodney. “Hey buddy, what’s up?”

“Uh, nothing. I’m fine. Everything is fine. I was just...work. Radek should be working. I need to talk to him about something work related. Complicated physics and whatnot. Wait, what are you doing here?”

“I’m just...uh...”

“The Colonel was just informing me that Major Lorne will be available to shuttle personnel to the mainland next week,” says Radek, quickly. “And now he is leaving, yes?”

“Uh, yeah,” says John. “I’m gonna go. Back to my office. Thanks Radek.”

“Thank you, Colonel.”

John squeezes Rodney’s arm as he passes. The second he leaves the lab, Rodney’s dragging Radek into his office.

“You didn’t tell him anything, did you?” he hisses.

“No Rodney, I told him nothing. I would not ruin this for you.”

“No, no, of course not. Look, are you sure about the ring?”

“Yes Rodney, I am sure. I was sure yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that...I will be sure tomorrow and the next day also.”

“I was thinking about the plan, and you know, maybe I should do it at the harvest festival after all. I don’t like that kind of fanfare but maybe John would? I could-”

“Rodney,” says Radek, removing Rodney’s hand from his arm. “Have I mentioned the nebula on the outskirts of the galaxy? The one that needs a name? It would be most beautiful, ano?”

#McShep #Engagement

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chevroneightlocked · 7 years

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so @silverfoxity wanted some angst and i am ALWAYS here to deliver

inspired by this post (by @alloverthegaf) about how insecurities in fic is awesome (also whump but that’s a given)

here we go i guess. it’s mostly under the cut because it’s nearly 2,000 words total

From a theoretical standpoint, Rodney McKay has no right to complain. He’s always had something to lord over someone, whether it was his intelligence or his arrogance. Rodney isn’t afraid to tell the world his feelings… in theory.

The room is awash with golden light, yet the instrument stands, polished black surface tinged with gold. Ivory keys refract the barest hint of light, morphing them into an orange hue. It’s been years since he touched a piano. Years since he felt the slide of smooth keys on his fingertips, the slight catch of his fingers on the meticulously polished surface.

The last time he touched a piano, he’d done nothing but wipe an insultingly stupid performance ‘pianist’s’ fingerprints from the side of the grand. He’d yelled for nigh-on thirty minutes about proper piano maintenance, all while staring down the weedy guy calling himself an ‘artist’.

He was barely more than a twig, all slim shoulders and ill-fitting suit, and Rodney sneered down at him. Sneered and spat his words, all smug crackles of satisfaction popping in his chest, until it all came to an end.

‘If you know so much about it why don’t you just play the goddamn thing?’ the tiny man demanded, face unhealthily purple with what Rodney was certain must be ire. ‘I bet you play like shit – only the amateurs who can’t play would be such assholes!’

Rodney stopped, and his muscles twitched with the sudden lack of movement; lack of anything, really. Not until the satisfaction began to sour at the edges, stains creeping in from the sides and consuming it – consuming him – until he was nothing but a mass of useless amateur. He swallowed, or at least tried, and it would help if his fucking throat would just get the memo already. Rodney chokes on it, takes a slightly unstable breath. It was enough for the mentally challenged pianist to notice, and he sneered back up at Rodney. His stupidly smooth face and sharp eyes bored into him, and Rodney grit his teeth against the urge to break out into an explanation.

‘Just like I thought,’ the little shit crowed, smarmy and pretentious. ‘Get out of here. A moron like you can’t tell me what to do.’

The words were on the tip of his tongue, burning into him. ‘Miss Jeferson, I can do better, I promise. Please please let me stay – I can be better, I can, I promise just please –‘

Rodney swallowed it, shoved it straight back down into the useless box it came from. Inhaling through burning lungs, he shook off the clutch of his own ribcage and turned on his heel. His hand clutched so hard at his own wrist he had to wear long sleeves for a week.

Rodney watches the piano now, the pristine black casing covering the intricate workings of such a beautiful instrument. His cheeks burn, and he barely stops himself taking another step, once he realizes he’s moving. There’s something sitting heavy in his gut, reaching up into his throat, and he can’t force himself any closer. If he sits in the chair, he’ll ruin it.

Just like before.

Rodney can’t tear his eyes from the piano. Barely feels the impact of the doorframe against his shoulder, the bleed of pain into his system. When he finally manages to turn, he makes his way back to the lab. A problem, math, theory: that’ll fix him. Will stop the fucking black hole in his chest, sucking everything away from him. He’s always been good at science. Always been told he’s good. Science is the once place people never doubted him. At least, not until Samantha Carter. And then, just like everything else in his life – like his piano artistry, interpersonal relations, his own goddamn home of all things – his proficiency was cast into doubt. Now, Rodney sees it in the eyes of his colleagues, his teammates, his friends, and he can’t take it anymore. Can’t take the pity, the uncertainty, the panic. Can’t stand knowing they don’t think he’s good enough to fix anything he puts his mind to.

He doesn’t know how long it takes him, but he makes it back to the lab. At least here, he can be in peace. He can pretend he isn’t his own worst enemy. Pretend he sleeps at night, instead of staring up at the ceiling and wondering why he can’t be better. Why he can’t even pretend for others anymore.

Slumping down into his chair, Rodney reaches for the hours-cold cup of coffee, hoping there’s some left in it. No luck. He swallows again, tries to keep the pressure in his chest from bursting out of him at maximum velocity.

‘Ah, Rodney,’ Radek greets, pushing up his glasses as he leans over the bench adjacent, writing a couple of lines into an empty box before glancing up again.

‘What?’ McKay snaps, too aggressively. He just can’t keep it down, can’t keep it at bay anymore. It’s building inside of him, and his jaw is stiff with the effort of keeping it back.

‘You are sad,’ Radek states, and Rodney instantly glares at him. Something inside of him rejoices – someone cares enough to notice him – but the rest pushes back, ready to fight.

‘No I’m not,’ Rodney snaps, too loud.

Radek snorts. ‘Yes, and I am not Czech. Stop lying, Rodney.’ Radek regards him for a moment, but when he speaks his voice is softer. ‘You saw the piano, hm?’

Ignoring the comment, Rodney searches forlornly in his coffee cup, hoping more will magically appear.

‘Teyla and Colonel Sheppard ordered it for you,’ Radek says, too casual, and hands him a steaming hot cup of fresh coffee.

Gulping down a burning mouthful of bitterness, Rodney grumbles, ‘and let me guess whose idea it was.’

‘No idea,’ Radek replies, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. ‘I have always wished to see you play. Despite what your instructor said, I believe you will be an adequate player.’

‘Adequate?’ Rodney squawks, indignant. ‘I’ll have you know I was the best –‘

Smiling, Radek steals the coffee cup and drinks the rest of it, waving his hands at him. Rodney isn’t even angry.

and onto number two!

Daniel would love to say he remembers to eat. Would love to say that when he does, he eats healthy; tries his hardest to take care of himself.

He doesn’t.

Daniel Jackson has an excellent memory. He can remember the most obscure runes in dialects scholars forget. And yet, he forgets to eat an apple when he’s hungry, or drink when he’s thirsty.

The days he does remember, Daniel makes a stop on the way to work. The coffee shop is open practically 24/7, and he may be its most loyal customer. Daniel has long stopped going elsewhere. The coffee does the job, and their scones are the best he’s ever tasted. He likes the blueberry ones the best, and he always makes sure to eat it as quickly as he can so Jack doesn’t steal it from him.

So it’s just another morning when Daniel wanders in at ten to 6 in the morning. He hadn’t really slept, not after the last mission. Spending time on desert worlds brought back… unsavoury memories. He can’t process the information anymore, and he finds himself awake, tossing and turning in a bed too large for just himself, cold. When he finally breathes evenly again, Daniel tells himself it doesn’t matter. That he doesn’t matter, and he’ll be okay. Jack doesn’t notice, when Daniel can’t smile some days. Doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. Sam spends too long trying to catch his eye, trying to ask him without words. He avoids her. Teal’c stands too close to him, glowers at anyone who gets too close, and reaches a hand out to ground him just when he needs it. But Daniel doesn’t need bodyguards, and he shakes them off, reaches for the cold knot of hatred in his chest and tells himself they don’t need him. Tells himself the only reason they stay is because they need his skills as a linguist. Nothing more, nothing less. On freezing nights, he clutches that thought tight. Lets himself curl up, lets the misery seep from his core and infect every tiny facet of him. Daniel doesn’t know if he feels most or least like himself in those moments.

Daniel makes his usual order, seats himself in a booth in the corner, pulling his coat tighter around himself. Snow clings to his jacket, melting slowly. He can’t take it off right now, and he wishes he could, if only to save the fabric-coated seats. But he’s too cold without it, and Daniel huddles in, munching on his scone.

He doesn’t know how long it’s been before the waitress approaches him, leans over, and tops up his coffee. He leans away, trying to keep his wet coat away from her. Somehow, her chest still manages to brush his shoulder, and he says, ‘I’m so sorry, you’re all wet now, let me just,’ and reaches for a napkin to see what he can do.

‘It’s okay,’ she says, giving him a smile. Her eyes are bright and alive, especially considering the hour. ‘I like being wet,’ she confides, giving him a giggle and stopping his hand when he holds up the napkin. Her hand is soft and gentle around his wrist, almost a caress. She leans in further, and places a slip of paper on the table. A mobile phone number is written on the upward face in meticulous script. Daniel turns back to her, eyes wide. It’s clear now, exactly why she always pays him so much attention. Clear as the finest crystal.

Daniel is an idiot.

The panic kicks in next, scrabbling at his chest and pushing wildly at his insides. He should have known – should have seen it coming. But then, he wasn’t worth it, and he knew it. Knew it better than he’d ever known anything. Besides, even Sha’uri hadn’t wanted him of her own volition – this waitress couldn’t know what she was getting.

Daniel doesn’t remember what he says, or how he gets out of there. Just remembers thinking I’ll miss those scones as he runs out into the snow, and keeps running.

He slips on the snow-slick bitumen too many times to count, and doesn’t remember dragging himself up again. All he recalls is the pierce of ice-cold air into his lungs, running him through from the inside out. Still, though, he almost can’t feel it, beyond the rawness in his throat, the streams of icy water at the corner of his eyes, and the frozen mass lying just behind his ribcage, barely managing a sluggish beat.

When Jack finally finds him, curled up on a bench in a park he’s never been to, Daniel barely remembers how to breathe. Can’t, beyond the pressure in his chest. When his heart beats, it aches like he’s been stabbed. Or maybe like he imagined he’s had a heart and it’s been gone all along.

Jack says, ‘Daniel,’ and all he can do is gasp, at the touch of Jack’s hands, burning like fire on his exposed neck. ‘What have you done to yourself, Danny?’ Jack asks, voice hushed. There’s no one else here, but it feels right. Yet Daniel can’t take it, can’t take the look in Jack’s eyes, the knowledge that Jack cares about him, deems him worthy of care.

‘Jack,’ he chokes, and Jack shushes him. Draws him in, a hand on the back of his head and arms solid around him. Daniel clings to him and can’t admit to himself that he’s worth caring about, but at least he knows someone will be there for him if he ever does.

It’s not worth going in to work today.

thanks for the prompt, guys!

#neither of these have names but oh well!#this was actually a lot of fun #if you spot any errors let me know cause i wrote this at like 2:30 am #hope you like!#stargate sg-1 #stargate atlantis #doctor rodney mckay #doctor daniel jackson #bless them!#doctor radek zelenka #chevroneightlocked #silverfoxity

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ao3feed-mcshep · 7 years

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All You Can Squeeze From a Lemon

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2m5f5Ub

by mckays_girl

Rodney McKay just went through a horrible break-up and wants nothing to do with women for awhile; he doesn't even want to look at them. Needing a little time to himself, and an opportunity to work on a side project with no distractions, he books a vacation at an all male resort. It will be easy to politely (or not so politely) brush off any guy who hits on him. Women do it to Rodney all the time; how hard could it be? In comes John Sheppard, the handsome bartender with his gravity-defying hair and his charming smile. The attraction to John is confusing to Rodney at first, because he always thought of himself as straight.

Words: 11753, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Stargate Atlantis

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: John Sheppard, Rodney McKay, Radek Zelenka, Laura Cadman, Chuck (Stargate Atlantis), Original Female Character(s)

Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard

Additional Tags: Adult Content, First Time, Alternate Universe, Humor

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2m5f5Ub

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #McShep

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outwardjourneywithin · 7 years

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Anecdote - Belief and Prizren - Part 5/10

I follow my companion’s directions and start walking straight down the main road. ‘Easy!' I think. 'just straight straight straight for 15 minutes and there will be a stone bridge and Arber will find me. Fuck yeah!' About 5 minutes in there is a fork in the road. I can go left or right, there is no straight. Fuck. If I follow the road exactly I will go right. Going left is more crossing and going down another road rather than following the one I am on now. But most people are coming or going from the left. I decide to go left. My feet are itchy as fuck at this point. I got caught in showers in Tirana before I got on the bus to here. My shoes and socks soaked through. This moisture mix obviously triggered something because my feet are burning with this feverish itch. I want to scratch them with a steel brush. I probably should have just gotten thongs instead of chancing the cleanliness of the array of showers I’ve used recently. Oops. Despite the discomfort, I’m heartened by the fact that I am definitely going the right direction. Lots of people around, this is definitely a decent sized city, and to my right I can see an array of bridges that are crossing the river that cuts through the centre. Fuck my feet are itchy. I am keen to go straight to Arber’s house and just sit when I arrive. I feel exhausted. I keep trudging along. I get to the third bridge. This is not the stone bridge. Up ahead I see a fourth and there is a crowd of people on it. It’s the stoniest one so far. This must be the land mark of the city. I trudge on further. I look over the crowd of people to see if I can see a long figure that might be looking for me. Just before the stone bridge I see a man standing on the barrier between the footpath and the river. He’s a metre above the crowd and clearly looking for someone who will be walking up this path. We share at each other for a moment. I think he waved first then I waved back. A huge grin cracks across his face. Seeing a complete stranger, who has accepted me into his home, smile that widely at the sight of me was an incredibly comforting and welcoming feeling. Especially when I was in such a confused, stressed daze the past hour. I walk a bit more to meet him. He’s still smiling and gives me a warm embrace. He presses his cheek on mine. His beard actually felt very nice. Is this how men say hello to each other in this country? “Radek!” he exclaims, “good to see you.” “Good to see you too Arber.” I say, smiling. “Come,” he continues, “there are some travellers waiting for us.” I think 'fuck I just wanted to sit, do nothing and relax.’ But I say, “Ah ok,” and follow him through the crowd. Prizren is a beautiful old city. It has that history that is dripping through its pores wherever you look. Old cobblestone streets. A square with a drinking fountain in the centre. Which is also used by Muslims to wash their hands and face prior going to pray. Old style buildings line the streets, mainly restaurants and coffee shops. There is a burekarnia too that sells bureks for €1. That looks like the place I want to go. I didn’t realise I was hungry. “Are you tired?” Arber asks me. “Uh yeah a little.” I reply. He’s very surprised, “What? Why?” I don’t really know how to answer that. I brush it off as we start walking to the group he just left. A group of travellers? What does that mean. Is this like a regular meeting he runs? What’s happening? I’m tired and my pack is heavy. But in the company of people I am distracted from these complaints. I’m even excited a little bit to meet people. Which is strange in a way because before I started travelling, I hated meeting people. We approach a table of five guys. I warmly shake the hand of each one, smiling, and they reciprocate. There’s an Italian and Croat who live in the city, as well as a German, American and Swiss. They’re all between 20 and maybe 30. I arrived here in a daze and worried I was going to sleep under a bridge, now I have been welcomed into a group of 6 companions. It’s normal when you travel. There’s always new faces that are quick to become your friends as you only have a short time together. The quicker you can evolve past the small talk the more fulfilling your time together will be. But you can’t force it obviously. So there are always some awkward, shakey moments. Like a baby giraffe that’s learning to walk. Just after born he can’t walk at all. But within 20 minutes he’s chilling and walking around as if he always has. I had a great time with these people. We had a few beers, walked up to the ruined castle on top of the hill (the German – Dario – helped me to leave my backpack in a Mosque). From there we had an incredible view of Prizren. We sat and talked in smaller groups while drinking in the beautiful view. Sebastian (the Swiss) remarked on the minarets of the mosques. He said he always tries to count them at viewpoints like this. We were all silent when they started calling Muslims for prayer time. It went for maybe a minute. When it finished Sebastian let out a big sigh. He liked it when they sing, because it reminds him that he’s far from home, somewhere exotic. In Switzerland there was a referendum on this call. The people voted against allowing mosques to build minarets as well as calling Muslims to prayer. After that we had a couple more beers. We played a game called, “What are the odds.” I won’t explain the rules, it’s simply a betting game. Sebastian taught us it, he learnt it from an Australian. When his girlfriend played the game a while ago she lost and had to shave a star into her head. When I played the game that night I also lost. I had to jump the fence into a construction site. It was right next to the bar we were drinking at. There was security nearby and I almost was caught. I think the only thing that saved me was the confidence I did the act with. I didn’t think, I just did. As soon as I felt that it was time to roll out under the fence I did. While walking back to my seat I locked eyes with the security guard. But he was looking away as I exited from underneath. I was fully upright and walking when we made eye contact. He was investigating what made the entire flimsy fence shake, but he didn’t think I did it. When I rejoined the table everyone was very coy and looking down. Nervous that the guard would approach us. I was too, but fortunately he didn’t. Shortly after, Dario and I had to leave to meet Arber. We were both couchsurfing with him. I almost left without paying for my beers but remembered while walking away. Everyone was too polite to say something and would have let me walk away had I forgot. We met up with Arber, went into his house and went to sleep. Nothing more interesting really happened until the next night.

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