#but I wanna be a fuck up 😭 I wanna do drugs and slit my wrists and down a whole bottle of pills

[adustoflove]

I love watching bpd gals on tik tok but it feels so unrelatable. Like you have enough money and resources to just constantly be in and out of mental hospitals then travel to 100 different countries and come home to your mansion 😭 why does EVERYTHING on tik tok feel unrelatable. Like how are you eating like this everyday? I only work 2 days a week but when I do work I am not attempting to make full planned healthy meals. If it fits in my mouth it goes in it

#personal #I need a high functioning bpd gal to watch or something #where are the gals who have never been to a mental hospital but are constantly going insane and wishing they were #but holding it all together with a paperclip because being percieved in a negative light makes their skin crawl #like if I could cut myself I'd have probably done it a few times but I live in fl with my grandma #I'd rather fucking DIE then have to explain myself about it. like actually . I don't have time to be a fuck up #but I wanna be a fuck up 😭 I wanna do drugs and slit my wrists and down a whole bottle of pills #I flirt with the idea of going absolutely bat shit insane. then I realize I will be percieved about it and die again on the inside #I don't see enough bpd rep where there's people genuinely barely holding it together behind the scenes while everyone thinks they're doing #great #I CONSTANTLY fool everyone #I told my friend the cuts on my arm were cat scratches and she was like yeah I figured you're not the kinda person who does that #yeah Youre so right 🩷