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sk1fanfiction · 3 years

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the many faces of tom riddle, part 4

-attachment, orphanages, and yet more child psych: time to add yet another voice to the void-

FULL DISCLAIMER THAT THIS IS JUST MY OPINION OF A CHARACTER WHO DOESN’T HAVE THE STRONGEST CANON CHARACTERIZATION, AND THUS ALL THIS IS BASED ON MY CONCEPTUALIZATION.

I'm going to be super biased, because my favorite portrayal of Tom Riddle is actually Hero Fiennes-Tiffin as eleven-year-old Tom Riddle, in HBP and I get to chat about child psych in this one, sooo here we go.

First of all, I’m just so impressed that a kid could bring that much depth to such a complex character.

This is the portrayal, I feel, that brings us closest to Tom’s character. Yes, Coulson’s brought us pretty close, but by fifth year, the mask was on.

We don't really get to see Tom looking afraid very often, but it's fear that rules his life, so it's really poignant in our first (chronologically) introduction, he looks absolutely terrified.

The void being the fandom's loud opinions on a certain headmaster. I wouldn't call myself pro-Dumbledore, but I'm certainly not anti-Dumbledore, either. (Agnostic-Dumbledore??)

Since I'm not of the anti-Dumbledore persuasion, I decided to poke around in the tags and see what the arguments were, so I don't make comments out of ignorance.

Most of the tag seems to be more directed towards his treatment of Harry and Sirius, but a few people mentioned that Dumbledore should have treated Tom with ‘exceptional kindness’ and tried to ‘rehabilitate’ him.

As I said in Parts 2 and 3, I am 100% in favor of helping a traumatized kid learn to cope, and I don’t think Tom Riddle was solidly on the Path to Evil (TM) at birth, or even at eleven. Not even at fifteen.

Could unconditional love and kindness have helped Tom Riddle enough for the rise of Lord Voldemort to never happen? Possibly, but...

Yes, I'm about to drag up that Carl Jung quote, again.

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

The problem with this is that if you’re going to blame Dumbledore for this, you also have to blame every other adult in Tom’s life: his headmaster, Dippet, his Head of House, Slughorn, his ‘caretakers’ at the orphanage, Mrs. Cole and Martha, and possibly more. In fact, if we're going to blame any adult, let's blame Merope for r*ping and abusing Tom Riddle Senior, and having a kid she wasn't intending to take care of.

Furthermore, you cannot possibly hold anyone but Tom accountable for the murders he committed. (I should not have to sit here and explain why cold-blooded murder is wrong.) And if you like Tom Riddle's character, insinuating that his actions are completely at the whim of others is just a bit condescending towards him. He's not an automaton or a marionette, he's a very intelligent human being with a functioning brain, and at sixteen is fully capable of moral reasoning and critical analysis.

I've heard the theories about Dumbledore setting the Potters up to die, and I'm not going to discuss their validity right now; but he didn't put a wand in Tom's hand and force him to kill anyone. Tom did it all of his own accord.

And while yes, I have enormous sympathy for what happened to Tom as a child, at some point, he decided to murder Myrtle Warren, and that is where I lose my sympathy. Experiencing trauma does not give you the right to inflict harm on others. Yes, Tom was failed, but then, he spectacularly failed himself.

We also have no idea how Dumbledore treated Tom as a student.

In the movies, it’s Dumbledore who tells Tom he has to go back to the orphanage, but in the books, it’s Dippet. We know that Slughorn spent a lot of time around Tom at Slug Club and such, yet I don’t really see people clamoring for his head.

I regard the sentiment that Dumbledore turned Tom Riddle into Lord Voldemort with a lot of skepticism.

But let's hear from the character himself -- his impression of eleven-year-old Tom Riddle.

“Did I know that I had just met the most dangerous Dark wizard of all time?” said Dumbledore. “No, I had no idea that he was to grow up to be what he is. However, I was certainly intrigued by him. I returned to Hogwarts intending to keep an eye upon him, something I should have done in any case, given that he was alone and friendless, but which, already, I felt I ought to do for others’ sake as much as his."

Now, assuming that Dumbledore's telling the truth, I'm not seeing something glaringly wrong with this. No, he hasn't pigeonholed Tom as evil, yes, I'd be intrigued, too, and it's a very good idea to keep an eye on Tom, for his own sake.

“At Hogwarts,” Dumbledore went on, “we teach you not only to use magic, but to control it. You have — inadvertently, I am sure — been using your powers in a way that is neither taught nor tolerated at our school."

Again, it seems like he's at least somewhat sympathetic towards Tom, and is willing to at least give him a chance.

More evidence (again, assuming Dumbledore is a reliable narrator):

Harry: “Didn’t you tell them [the other professors], sir, what he’d been like when you met him at the orphanage?” Dumbledore: “No, I did not. Though he had shown no hint of remorse, it was possible that he felt sorry for how he had behaved before and was resolved to turn over a fresh leaf. I chose to give him that chance.”

Now, I think Dumbledore is pretty awful with kids, but I don't think that's malicious. Yeah, it's a flaw, but perfect people don't exist, and perfect characters are dead boring. I am not saying that he definitely handled Tom's case well, I'm just saying that there's little evidence that Dumbledore, however shaken and scandalized, wrote him off as 'evil snake boy.'

It's also worth taking into account that it's 1938, and the attitudes towards mental health back then.

Why is Tom looking at Dumbledore like that, anyway? Why is he so scared? What has he possibly been threatened with or heard whispers of?

"'Professor'?" repeated Riddle. He looked wary. "Is that like 'doctor'? What are you here for? Did she get you in to have a look at me?"

"I don't believe you," said Riddle. "She wants me looked at, doesn't she? Tell the truth!"

"You can't kid me! The asylum, that's where you're from, isn't it? 'Professor,' yes, of course -- well, I'm not going, see? That old cat's the one who should be in the asylum. I never did anything to little Amy Benson or Dennis Bishop, and you can ask them, they'll tell you!

Tom keeps insisting he's not mad until Dumbledore finally manages to calm him down.

I'm really upset this wasn't in the movie, because it's important context. Instead we got these throwaway cutscenes of some knick-knacks relating to the Cave he's got lying around, but I just would have preferred to see him freaking out like he does in the book.

There was extreme stigma and prejudice towards mental illness.

'Lunatic asylums,' as they were called in Tom's time, were terrible places. In the 1930s and 40s, he could look forward to being 'treated' with induced convulsions, via metrazol, insulin, electroshock, and malaria injections. And if he stuck around long enough, he could even look forward to a lobotomy!

So, if you think Dumbledore was judgmental towards Tom, imagine how flat-out prejudiced whatever doctors or 'experts' Mrs. Cole might have gotten in to 'look at him' must have been!

Moving on to the next few shots, he is sitting down and hunched over as if expecting punishment or at least some kind of bad news, Dumbledore is mostly out of the frame. He’s trapped visually, by Dumbledore on one side, and a wall on the other, because he’s still very much afraid. uncomfortable, as he tells Dumbledore a secret that he fears could get him committed to an asylum (which were fucking horrible places, as I said).

It brings to the scene that miserable sense of isolation and loneliness to that has defined Tom’s entire life up to that point (and, partially due to his own bad choices, continues to define it).

And, when Dumbledore accepts it, his posture changes. he becomes more confident and more at ease, as he describes the... utilities of his magical abilities.

"All sorts," breathed Riddle. A flush of excitement was rising up his neck into his hollow cheeks; he looked fevered. "I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to."

Riddle lifted his head. His face was transfigured: There was a wild happiness upon it, yet for some reason it did not make him better looking; on the contrary, his finely carved features seemed somehow rougher, his expression almost bestial.

I do think Harry, our narrator, is being a tad bit judgmental here. Magic is probably the only thing that brings Tom happiness in his grey, lonely world, and when I was Tom's age and being bullied, if I had magic powers, you'd better believe that I'd (a) be bloody ecstatic about it (b) use them. And, like Tom, I can't honestly say that I can't imagine getting a bit carried-away with it. Unfortunately, we can't all be as inherently good and kindhearted as Harry.

Reading HBP again, as a 'mature' person, it almost seems like the reader is being prompted to see Tom as evil just because he's got 'weird' facial expressions.

So... uh...

Nope, let's judge Tom on his actions, not looks of 'wild happiness.'

To his great surprise, however, Dumbledore drew his wand from an inside pocket of his suit jacket, pointed it at the shabby wardrobe in the corner, and gave the wand a casual flick. The wardrobe burst into flames. Riddle jumped to his feet; Harry could hardly blame him for howling in shock and rage; all his worldly possessions must be in there. But even as Riddle rounded on Dumbledore, the flames vanished, leaving the wardrobe completely undamaged.

Okay, one thing I dislike is Tom's lack of emotional affect when Dumbledore burned the wardrobe, in the books, he jumped up and started screaming, instead of looking passively (in shock, perhaps?) at the fire. Incidentally, I can't really tell if he's impressed or in shock, to be honest. I think they really tried to make Tom 'creepier' in the movie.

This is one of the incidents where Dumbledore's inability to deal with children crops up.

I think he was trying to teach Tom that magic can be dangerous, and he wouldn't like it to be used against him, but burning the wardrobe that contains everything he owns was a terrible move on Dumbledore's part. Tom already has very limited trust in other people, and now, he's not going to trust Dumbledore at all -- now, he's put Tom on the defensive/offensive for the rest of their interaction, and perhaps for the rest of their teacher-student relationship.

Riddle stared from the wardrobe to Dumbledore; then, his expression greedy, he pointed at the wand. "Where can I get one of them?"

"Where do you buy spellbooks?" interrupted Riddle, who had taken the heavy money bag without thanking Dumbledore, and was now examining a fat gold Galleon.

But I'm not surprised Tom is 'greedy.' He's grown up in an environment where if he wants something, whether that's affection, food, money, toys, he's got to take it. There's no one looking after his needs specifically. I'm not surprised that he's a thief and a hoarder, and I don't think that counts as a moral failing necessarily, and more of a maladaptive way of seeking comfort. It would be bizarre if he came out of Wool's Orphanage a complete saint.

Additionally, I think given that the Gaunt family has a history of 'mental instability,' Tom is a sensitive child, and the trauma of growing up institutionalized and possibly being treated badly due to his magical abilities or personality disorder deeply affected him.

And there are points where it seems that Dumbledore is quick to judge Tom.

"He was already using magic against other people, to frighten, to punish, to control."

"Yes, indeed; a rare ability, and one supposedly connected with the Dark Arts, although as we know, there are Parselmouths among the great and the good too. In fact, his ability to speak to serpents did not make me nearly as uneasy as his obvious instincts for cruelty, secrecy, and domination."

"I trust that you also noticed that Tom Riddle was already highly self-sufficient, secretive, and, apparently, friendless?..."

And while this is all empirically true, these are (a) a product of Tom's harsh environment, and (b) do not necessarily make him evil. But the point remains that child psych didn't exist as a field of its own, and psychology as a proper science was in its infancy, so I'd be shocked if Dumbledore was insightful about Tom's situation.

But I've gone a ton of paragraphs without citing anything, so I've got to rectify that.

Let's talk about Harry Harlow's monkey experiments in the 1950-70s.

If you're not a fan of animal research, since I know some people are uncomfortable with it, feel free to scroll past.

Here's the TL;DR: Children need to be hugged and shown affection too, not just fed and clothed, please don't leave babies to 'cry out' and ignore their needs because it's backwards and fucking inhumane. HUG AND COMFORT AND CODDLE CHILDREN AND SPOIL THEM WITH AFFECTION!

I will put more red writing when the section is over.

This is still an interesting experiment to have in mind while we explore the whole 'no one taught Tom Riddle how to love' thing and whether or not it's actually a good argument.

Andddd let's go all the way back to the initial 1958 experiment, featured in Harlow's paper, the Nature of Love. (If you're familiar with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, him and Harlow actually collaborated for a time).

To give you an idea of our starting point, until Harlow's experiment, which happened twenty years after Dumbledore meets Tom for the first time, no one in science had really been interested in studying love and affection.

"Psychologists, at least psychologists who write textbooks, not only show no interest in the origin and development of love or affection, but they seem to be unaware of its very existence."

I'm going to link some videos of Harry Harlow showing the actual experiment, which animal rights activists would probably consider 'horrifying.' It's nothing gory or anything, but if you are particularly soft-hearted (and I do not mean that as an insult), be warned. It's mostly just baby monkeys being very upset and Harlow discussing it in a callous manner. Yes, today it would be considered unethical, but it's still incredibly important work and if you think you can handle it, I would recommend watching at least the first one to get an idea of how dramatic this effect is.

Dependency when frightened

The full experiment

The TL;DW:

This experiment was conducted with rhesus macaques; they're still used in psychology/neuroscience research when you want very human-like subjects, because they are very intelligent (unnervingly so, actually). I'd say that adult ones remind me of a three-year old child.

Harlow separated newborn monkeys from their mothers, and cared for their physical needs. They had ample nutrition, bedding, warmth, et cetera. However, the researchers noticed that the monkeys:

(a) were absolutely miserable. And not just that, but although all their physical needs were taken care of, they weren't surviving well past the first few days of life. (This has also been documented in human babies, and it's called failure to thrive and I'll talk about it a bit later).

(b) showed a strong attachment to the gauze pads used to cover the floor, and decided to investigate.

So, they decided to provide a surrogate 'mother.' Two, actually. Mother #1 was basically a heated fuzzy doll that was nice for the monkeys to cuddle with. Mother #2 was the same, but not fuzzy and made of wire. Both provided milk. The result? The monkeys spent all their time cuddling and feeding from the fuzzy 'mother.' Perhaps not surprising.

What Harlow decided next, is that one of the hallmarks being attached to your caregiver is seeking hugs and reassurance from them when frightened. So, when the monkeys were presented with something scary, they'd go straight to the cloth mother and ignore the wire one. Not only that, but when placed in an unfamiliar environment, if the cloth mother was present, the monkeys would be much calmer.

In a follow-up experiment, Harlow decided to see if there was some sort of sensitive period by introducing both 'mothers' to monkeys who had been raised in isolation for 250 days. Guess what?

The initial reaction of the monkeys to the alterations was one of extreme disturbance. All the infants screamed violently and made repeated attempts to escape the cage whenever the door was opened. They kept a maximum distance from the mother surrogates and exhibited a considerable amount of rocking and crouching behavior, indicative of emotionality.

Yikes. So, at first Harlow thought that they'd passed some kind of sensitive period for socialization. But after a day or two they calmed down and started chilling out with the cloth mother like the other monkeys did. But here's a weird thing:

That the control monkeys develop affection or love for the cloth mother when she is introduced into the cage at 250 days of age cannot be questioned. There is every reason to believe, however, that this interval of delay depresses the intensity of the affectional response below that of the infant monkeys that were surrogate-mothered from birth onward

All these things... attachment, affection, love, seeking comfort ... are mostly learned behaviours.

Over.

Orphanages, institutionalized childcare, and why affection is a need, not an extra.

His face is lit the exact same was as Coulson’s was in COS (half-light, half-dark), and I said I was going to talk about this in Part 3. I think perhaps it's intended to make Fiennes-Tiffin look more evil or menacing, but I'm going to quite deliberately misinterpret it.

Now, for some context, Dumbledore has just (kind of) burned his wardrobe, ratted out his stealing habit, and (in the books only, they really took a pair of scissors to this scene) told him he needs to go apologize and return everything and Dumbledore will know if he doesn't, and, well, Tom's not exactly a happy bugger about it.

But interestingly, in the books, this is when we start to see Tom's 'persona,' aka his mask, start to come into play. Whereas before, he was screaming, howling, and generally freaking out, here, he starts to hide his emotions -- in essence, obscure his true self under a shadow. So this scene is really the reverse of Coulson's in COS.

And perhaps I'm reading wayyy too much into this, but I can't help but notice that Coulson's hair is parted opposite to Fiennes-Tiffin's, and the opposite sides of their faces are shadowed, too.

Riddle threw Dumbledore a long, clear, calculating look. "Yes, I suppose so, sir," he said finally, in an expressionless voice.

Riddle did not look remotely abashed; he was still staring coldly and appraisingly at Dumbledore. At last he said in a colorless voice, "Yes, sir."

Here's an article from The Atlantic on Romanian orphanages in the 1980s, when the dictator, Ceausescu, basically forced people to have as many children as possible and funnel them into institutionalized 'childcare', and it's absolutely heartbreaking.

There's not a whole lot of information out there on British orphanages in the 30s' and 40s', but given that people back then thought you just had to keep children on a strict schedule and feed them, it wouldn't have a whole lot better.

The only thing I've found is this, and it's not super promising.

The most important study informing the criteria for contemporary nosologies, was a study by Barbara Tizard and her colleagues of young children being raised in residential nurseries in London (Tizard, 1977). These nurseries had lower child to caregiver ratios than many previous studies of institutionalized children. Also, the children were raised in mixed aged groups and had adequate books and toys available. Nevertheless, caregivers were explicitly discouraged from forming attachments to the children in their care.

Here's a fairly recent paper that I think gives a good summary: Link

Here, they describe the responses to the Strange Situation test (which tests a child's attachment to their caregiver).

We found that 100% of the community sample received a score of “5,” indicating fully formed attachments, whereas only 3% of the infants living in institutions demonstrated fully formed attachments. The remaining 97% showed absent, incomplete, or odd and abnormal attachment behaviors.

Bowlby and Ainsworth, who did the initial study, thought that children would always attach to their caregivers, regardless of neglect or abuse. But some infants don't attach (discussed along with RAD in Part 2).

Here's a really good review paper on attachment disorders in currently or formerly institutionalized children : Link

Core features of RAD in young children include the absence of focused attachment behaviors directed towards a preferred caregiver, failure to seek and respond to comforting when distressed, reduced social and emotional reciprocity, and disturbances of emotion regulation, including reduced positive affect and unexplained fearfulness or irritability.

Which all sounds a lot like Tom in this scene. The paper also discusses neurological effects, like atypical EEG power distribution (aka brain waves), which can correlate with 'indiscriminate' behavior and poor inhibitory control; which makes sense for a kid who, oh, I don't know, hung another kid's rabbit because they were angry.

Furthermore...

...those children with more prolonged institutional rearing showed reduced amygdala discrimination and more indiscriminate behavior.

This again, makes a ton of sense for Tom's psychological profile, because the amygdala (which is part of the limbic system, which regulates emotions) plays a major role in fear, anger, anxiety, and aggression, especially with respect to learning, motivation and memory.

So, I agree completely that Tom needed a lot of help, especially given the fact that he spent eleven years in an orphanage (longer than the Bucharest study I was referring to), and Dumbledore wasn't exactly understanding of his situation, and probably didn't realise what a dramatic effect the orphanage had on Tom, and given the way he talks to Tom, probably treated him as if he were a kid who grew up in a healthy environment.

In case you are still unconvinced that hugging is that important, there's a famous 1944 study conducted on 40 newborn human infants to see what would happen if their physical needs (fed, bathed, diapers changed) were provided for with no affection. The study had to be stopped because half the babies died after four months. Affection leads to the production of hormones and boosts the immune system, which increases survival, and that is why we hug children and babies should not be in orphanages. They are supposed to be hugged, all the time. I can't find the citation right now, I'll add it later if I find it.

But I think it's vastly unrealistic to say that Dumbledore, who grew up during the Victorian Era, would have any grasp of this and I don't think he was actively malicious towards Tom.

Was Tom Riddle failed by institutional childcare? Absolutely.

Were the adults in his life oblivious to his situation? Probably.

Do the shitty things that happened to Tom excuse the murders he committed, and are they anyone's fault but his own? No. At the end of the day, Tom made all the wrong choices.

And, for what it's worth, I think (film) Dumbledore (although he expresses the same sentiment in more words in the books) wishes he could go back in time and have helped Tom.

"Draco. Years ago, I knew a boy, who made all the wrong choices. Please, let me help you."

#tom riddle #the many faces of #tom marvolo riddle #character analysis #character study #albus dumbledore

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mistaeq · 3 years

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Tuesday, 29th December

Greek Mythology!Duwang Gang AU: Headcanons

TW // sliiight nsfw-ish or non-con hints in dionysus' part. come on it's dionysus.

Today I offer you these babies. Tomorrow who knows. Hope you enjoy, I had fun with writing these.♡

Greek Mythology AU: Duwang Gang Headcanons. [includes: Higashikata Josuke, Nijimura Okuyasu, Kujo Jotaro, Hirose Koichi, Yamagishi Yukako, Kishibe Rohan]

WORD COUNT: 2k

HIGASHIKATA JOSUKE as APOLLO

Seen as the most beautiful god, Apollo has been recognized as a god of archery, music and dance, truth and prophecy, healing and diseases, the Sun and light, poetry, and more. One of the most important and complex of the Greek gods, he is the son of Zeus (Joseph) and brother of Artemis (Holly). As the protector of young, Apollo is concerned with the health and education of children.

He's seen every early morning, on his chariot, to bring the sunlight up in the sky, all over the Olympus. Josuke's the dream of many nymphs, who look at him from afar, singing songs for the god with their sweet voices, a sound so sweet, a sound so celestial... which is covered up by Apollo's voice fucking around the Olympus with young Dionysus (Okuyasu), pulling pranks on Poseidon (Jotaro) or getting drunk.

You're the most envied creature out of everyone in the Olympus, because Josuke only has eyes for you. Envious nymphs stare at you, and comment on you, trying to convince themselves that they're way better than you are.

"Don't listen to their envy and their insults, they don't know how to cope with the fact that I have clear preferences..." he'd say, caressing your cheek and neck. "This is what poisons relationships and romances... envy... jealousy... but we don't have these useless problems, do we, love...?"

His relationship with other gods on the Olympus is usually fine, but it's not like he cares about hiding his feelings. Almost everyone who knows Josuke, will get to know after not even a week that the god is crushing on you, and that he wants to marry you. You sure hope he's not gonna behave the same way he did to Daphne...

It seems that he has healing powers, and if you happen to not to be a deity, he'll gladly use them on you, Josuke wouldn't forgive himself if anything happened to you.

NIJIMURA OKUYASU as DIONYSUS

Surely not known for his capability to reasonate, Dionysus was the ancient god of wine, fertility, ritual madness, theater, and ecstasy. The god is shown to be a beardless, sensuous, naked or semi-naked youth. Though Dionysus was mostly a kind and generous deity, he could be cruel when he needed it. For some reason, Aphrodite (Yukako) doesn't want to get close to him. She looks scared.

He doesn't do much, during the day. Let's say his favourite thing are feasts. Not really chaste ones, to be completely true. Okuyasu's mind is almost totally hedonistic, and won't feel guilty just because he spent a day watching dancing maenads and had fun teasing them with his Thyrsus instead of caring about whatever mortal dude needed him on Earth. Most of the time he's drunk, but Josuke has his back for some reason.

Many say they don't envy you for being the god's favourite creature, but you don't really care. You enjoy lying down with Okuyasu, caught in a ecstatic feeling as he turns you on with his touch and teaseful words whispered at you.

"Tell me, is it embarrassing for you to be the only one to lie beside me during feasts?" He'd run his lustful gaze and hand all over your body as he asks so, and smirk a little. "No? It isn't...? Sounds like you really like it instead, to be completely honest. Good... really good, in fact. Kiss me now."

He doesn't really have a brilliant relationship with other deities, apart from Apollo. He sometimes sees Echo (Koichi), but not much more. Still, everyone knows it when he has someone he's interested in. The man becomes possessive, Okuyasu will make sure everyone knows you're his. He might give a demonstration during feasts.

He likes to feed you grapes, and in case you liked wine, Okuyasu would want to hold the glass for you as you drink. He likes to do this for you, and you don't mind letting him.

KUJO JOTARO as POSEIDON

Poseidon is the violent and ill-tempered god of the sea. He is nowadays known exclusively as a sea god, but in ancient times, he may have been the god of the earth and fertility or even the supreme god of the sky. His huge height and strength come from his Titan parents, Cronus and Rhea. What he can't acquire with romance and gentleness, he does with violence and craftiness.

He sometimes uses the sea as a coping mechanism for his tiring life. Jotaro doesn't find his ocean so bad to be in, he concentrates and spends his time doing stuff gods... do? What does he really do, is not clear? Apollo and Dionysus tried to stick their heads into the water to spy on him several times, without any result. It's not like he's so happy when mortals need his help, but he can't pull back from his duty.

Poseidon probably noticed you because you weren't bugging him for pointless stuff. He likes pleasures too, like most of the deities do really, he just needs to find the right creature for him. Jotaro doesn't enjoy partners who talk too much.

"Don't worry about being a bother for me. You're the first one who isn't truly bothering me, I take it as a goal by now." he'd say, after he closed you in a bubble in order to bring you under the sea with him. "I never dare to show my realm to people who I judge as annoying, remember that."

It's not like he doesn't have a good relationship with other deities, he basically doesn't really care. He'll just be happy with being under the ocean whenever he feels Josuke and Okuyasu approaching, or not to be there during Apollo and Calliope (Rohan) debates. Give him some deserved peace and an ocean and he'll be grateful forever.

If Jotaro lets you in his private place which is the ocean, consider yourself special for him, for he hates having people there, above all people who are there for him purposely.

HIROSE KOICHI as ECHO

Echo is a mountain nymph, or oread. The myth says that Echo offended the goddess Hera by keeping her in conversation, in order to prevent her from spying on one of Zeus' lovers. To punish him, Hera deprived him of speech, except for the ability to repeat the last words of another. Because of this, his good heart is often misunderstood, but he managed to be appreciated nonetheless.

Koichi would rather have no conversations, for he's not able to say nothing more than the last words his interlocutor said. But he's down to make people understand what he wants to say, by writing it down or through gestures. Apollo approached him once, and brought Dionysus along. He doesn't know how to feel about hanging with gods, but since his issue isn't a problem to them, he'll keep them around. Until they misbehave...

When he gets to know you and notices you aren't willing to exclude him for he doesn't talk properly, his heart melts. Echo wants to spend most of his time with you now, since you make him feel comfortable about the problem Hera caused him.

"I love you, I love you, love you, love you, you, you..." he'd repeat, after you told him that. When he wants to say something like this, you say it for him, so that he can repeat it and say it as well. "You're important to me... important to me... important to me... to me... to me... me..."

Look, he's trying his best, really. Deities aren't known for their inclusive ways, and when he asked you if it was because of his past, you quickly said it wasn't. Nobody cared about it there. Deities were like that with every nymph. Echo had a chance to build up a good relationship with Calliope (Rohan). The muse taught him a lot.

He has fun bringing you to places where your voice echoes, to make you judge who does it better between him and the nature. Needless to say, Koichi always wins.

YAMAGISHI YUKAKO as APHRODITE

Aphrodite was known primarily as a goddess of sexual love, beauty, fertility and even occasionally presided over marriage. Even prostitutes considered Aphrodite their patron. She's had many mortal lovers, and none of them should have ever dared to make her upset. She won't be down for forgiveness, she's really never been. Still, Aphrodite found herself often in trouble due to her personality.

Differently from many other deities, Yukako's real fun consisted in watching humans' love stories bloom and wither. Sometimes she was the reason, sometimes she wasn't. Mortals were so easy to play with. It was when she thought that playing gods was just as simple, that she got caught into a trap. Since that mistake, she decided she would have been amused enough to be happy by mortals' love stories.

Oh, Aphrodite's so used to creatures - above all gods - who tried to stick around her for her body only, so that when you give an appreciation for her intelligence, she'll remember it and love you forever. It's like you signed up a free trial to be loved.

"You know, it's difficult to make me feel love so strong I don't even think about the lustful part... but apparently you managed to do so..." she'd say, sitting in the calm forest as she hands you a flower. "It's good to know someone doesn't love you for your body only but for yourself as well."

Yukako's relationship with other deities and creatures is just... ambiguous? She may never judge what's behind everyone's gaze. Hatred? Love? Lust? Who knows. All she knows, is that the only sight of Dionysus makes the ground under her feet disappear in fear. Compared to him, she'll just be fine in everyone else's company.

Everything she does, it's for the good. If it happens to harm you, Yukako definitely didn't mean it. It'll be enough to tell her, and believe me, it won't happen again.

KISHIBE ROHAN as CALLIOPE

In Greek mythology Calliope is the muse who presides over eloquence and epic poetry. He's called the "Chief of all Muses". He's down to help every literate artist who needs him, gives inspiration and guides the mortals' talented hands, as far as they deserve his power. Calliope's used to be mentioned, and might happen to get upset if not. Even if he's only halfway a deity, he's known for his confidence.

The most famous out of the Muses, Rohan won't forgive anyone who's never heard about him before. He can be seen around Echo a lot lately, since he found the nymph's story interesting and won't hold back from inspiring a mortal with writing about what happened to Koichi. He's used to collect creatures' stories, in order to be written by someone who's talented enough to talk about them properly.

He probably got interested in your story first. Then, for some reason he grew possessive of it. Calliope won't let a mortal put their filthy hands on a story so pure. Let the Muse be the only one who can properly love you.

"This story of yours is so beautiful, I can never have enough... and it's mine only, is it, y/n? Is it?" he'd ask him forever until you answer yes, he'll find no peace at all. "Let me get inspiration from you. Let me be the only one who can properly appreciate your life... just like you deserve."

His relationship with other creatures and deities is... rather good? Rohan's used to have debates and discussions with Josuke, and most of the time they just disagree. Though, many envy his capability of being so creative and smart, mortal writers ask for his help several times. Aphrodite and him sometimes fight over Echo.

He'd write lots of poetries in order to edulcorate your feelings towards him and make you forgive him for his excessive possessiveness. Rohan often succeeds.

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uzumaki-rebellion · 4 years

Text

“Wet Sugar” [Part 26 of 30]

Summary: Erik and Yani’s time comes to an end...

NSFW. Mature. Smut.

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"Every morning, every evening

Oh love, love, love, love, loving you

I can hear you when you're calling

Oh, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon

Take me with you

You'll break my heart and soul

If you left me behind

Take me with you

Don't want to stay around when you're gone…"

Blundetto Meets Booker Gee—"Take Me With You"

Yani dropped Erik off at the compound after ten in the morning. He stood in front of the compound gate and allowed the retina scan to gain him access onto the property. Meandering down the walkway to the main house, he ran into Jerome who dangled precariously close to the end of a tree branch hanging over the middle house roof. The iguana's eyes were shut tight in a peaceful looking pose, and Erik took a moment to watch the creature snooze in the sunlight.

To think his woman adored that overgrown lizard.

"Jerome."

Erik called the reptile's name and Jerome opened one eye.

"Lazy ass," Erik said.

Jerome closed his eye again and ignored him.

Erik thought about taking a swim in the cove but decided to sit and meditate on the balcony overlooking the sea. Climbing the stairs, he saw Linda sitting on a lounger holding a mug of coffee up to her lips. Dressed in a beach robe with her wet hair jumbled about her head, she turned to look at Erik.

He gave a deep sigh. He was not prepared to see her again.

Their conversation the night before was uncomfortable for him. When Yani told Erik that Linda was in love with him, he scoffed at the idea. Linda? In love with him? She was a woman with a sex drive as high as his, and she often stayed out late sowing her wild oats like him. He knew she liked him, respected him, trusted him…but love?

Thinking on it, he knew she still had the hots for him, but that was because he put that thang on her so long ago and it was only natural that she'd want to have sex with him again if she could. He did enjoy it…for what it was. Just sex. He had no deep affection for her because his heart had already made a connection to Yani.

He should've been stronger, more discerning with where he laid his pipe. Hooking up with Linda had been a flippant mistake on his part. He assumed that she was a confident woman who played the field too. She had fucked him while she had a man and didn't regret it. Allowed Erik to humiliate her boyfriend in another country. He had no clue that her wanting to sleep with him on different occasions was her way of showing love for him. He thought it was just lust and horniness. Boredom from the other mercs and not having access to other men while they were stuck in various places doing the bidding of Klaue. If Yani hadn't been in the picture, he and Linda would probably be fuck buddies as well as colleagues. But love? Nah.

Perhaps her drinking too much all the time was a way for her to cope with his lack of interest in her. She could be hard to read. Perhaps her overconfidence and need to one-up the other mercs was her way of trying to impress him. Make him notice her more. She acted like Yani was beneath her and made fun of him when he came back from trysts with his woman.

To see her so upset in the kitchen of the middle house, her eyes blazing with anger and jealousy, was a sight to behold. It was a complete crack in her façade.

He knew what Yani said was true when he went to get his overnight bag and he found Linda crying on the balcony, her chest heaving and her eyes shiny with tears. He had never seen that woman emotional like that before. Didn't even know her powerful aura could even shed tears. She held her own with the deadly male company, her brilliant mind a joy for him to tangle with during their free time together. Nothing about her was ever soft with him and so he treated her like one of the guys at all times. To see her weeping because of Yani threw him.

"I wish you looked at me the way you look at her."

That's what she said when he tried to slip away with Yani.

He took the plunge and sat next to her.

"I tried to play it cool with you, Killmonger. I thought that's what you liked about me. I thought…I thought we had so much in common. I thought you would see me as something more…"

He let her talk. Tried to be a good listener.

"I didn't know," he finally said.

"You know how to read people so well, but you couldn't see how I felt about you?"

"We work for Klaue. He takes so much energy to keep up with. Maybe I just didn't want to see that. Or even deal with that. I don't feel that way about you. I'm not looking for that right now."

"I'm just one of the guys…"

"Yeah."

"I tried to play it that way for a long time. But those nights together in South Africa…before the raid…shit. As wild as it sounds, those were some of the best nights of my life. Talking under the stars all night. Arguing about shit in front of the fireplace and drinking so much together. Laughing so hard with you. Watching bad movies together. I thought of us as friends and then I just…wanted more. I should've told you then, but I thought we'd have time here to relive that magic like we had in South Africa. But once I got here, I realized that you wouldn't be with me like that. And then when Neal said you were fucking her…"

She wept and Erik could only sit and listen to her. No words of comfort came to him except sincere apologies for not loving her.

Staring at her on the lounger in the morning light, her eyes looked better. Less red and less puffy.

"Hey," he said. He sat next to her again.

She sipped from her mug.

"Back early," she whispered.

"A lot to do today before y'all head out."

"Yeah. I'm not sure if the Sweden adventure is a good fit for me."

"You quitting the team?"

"Doesn't seem to be a good idea since our misunderstanding."

Her head bowed down and she stared at her coffee mug.

"I acted a fool last night. None of the guys will take me seriously again. They'll look at us like a soap opera."

"It's a four-unit team now. Limbano and Klaue don't care—"

"But I do."

Her eyes regarded him with deadly seriousness.

"I love you. I can't change that, Killmonger. Yani saw through me like an open book and I was so pissed at her. She apologized for the fact that you didn't love me. Ain't that some shit? Apologized to me. That's fucking rich…"

"You're a big girl, Linda. You can work around feelings—"

"I can't. Not when it comes to you. Best to leave the team. Keep the drama at bay."

Erik felt the itch of panic in his belly. They needed Linda. It was too late to vet a new hacker or even a new team member. Tahir wasn't available. None of the other mercs were trustworthy.

"Yani is just a distraction for me."

"Liar."

"I made a mistake mixing business and pleasure with you. That's on me. I've had other women on this island too. You ain't the only one out there getting it in."

"Don't play me, Killmonger. You love that girl—"

"I love fucking her. Pussy too good to turn down. It's there when I want it. Think I'm gonna pass that up? She was just showing off yesterday. Tryna get a rise outta you because you always dog her out. And you fell for it. I got a million things to deal with that are far more important. Like getting this C.I.A. money. Getting into Wakanda so I can ghost this life."

Erik prayed that his words would get through to her.

Linda gazed out at the water.

"You don't see yourself when you're around her."

"The fuck that mean?"

"You glow—"

"Girl, please—"

"You do. Look like a big ole puppy—"

"Shut up."

She laughed.

"You're not a good liar. So stop trying to convince me otherwise."

"When we get to Sweden, you'll see how ridiculous you sound right now. Good pussy will make any nigga glow. You didn't see me shining with you after I hit it?"

Linda stood up.

"Good luck with Wakanda—"

Erik grabbed her arm and pulled her back down next to him. Klaue would rake him over the coals if this woman left them.

"You never said anything to me, Linda. How am I supposed to know your true feelings when you don't say shit? We gotta keep focused on the job at hand. We need you. Don't fuck up a fortune. You smarter than that."

"It's not easy for me. I'm not this person. But here I am."

"Do the job. Make these coins, Ma."

"I can't—"

"Please."

He pulled her into his chest and let his lips nuzzle her neck. Her body shuddered against him.

"I can't even look at you without wanting to cry. And I hate it. Fucking hate it. I'm better than this."

"I know you are."

She pushed back from him and he pulled her even closer.

"I can't force myself to be where you are. Don't hold that against me. It's not fair. I need you. I need your skills. You'll love being a multi-millionaire more than you love me, I promise."

She laughed into his neck.

"Come with me," he pleaded.

He stressed the word "me". Not "us" or "the team". He had to make it about them. Corral her into his control. She was making it hard. Linda had pride and she was so damn stubborn.

He ran his fingers up and down her back. Her robe loosened up and he stuck his hand inside the material so that his hand touched her side. She was naked underneath and her sighs from his touch danced in his ears.

"Killmonger…don't…."

His hand dipped lower and rubbed her hip.

"Don't be stupid girl. I'm 'bout that work. Always have been."

His fingers rested in the cleft of her thigh and hip, dangerously close to dipping down…

Linda pressed her face into his chest, her breath hot on his shirt.

"Okay," she whispered.

Erik's eyes closed with relief.

"We'll have fun in Sweden like we did in South Africa. Maybe you'll open your mouth and talk to me honestly for a change?"

"Whatever," she said pulling her robe tighter together.

He walked a fine line of manipulation. Gave her enough to draw her in, but not enough to commit to anything with her.

"I'm so embarrassed about everything."

"Who cares? Forget it. It's done. We'll be gone from here and it won't matter."

"My feelings won't change."

"That's all you, Ma. I told you my position. You packed up?"

"Yep. Bags in the S.U.V. Separate flight times and airline carriers confirmed."

"Cool."

He stood up.

"I'ma take a nap. See you at departure?"

"Yeah."

She sank back into the lounger and curled her legs under herself. She looked a whole lot better. Relieved.

Erik strolled into his room and after he locked the door he jumped on his bed and covered his face with a pillow. Fuck. So close to losing her over some bullshit. He texted Yani with his cell.

Will contact you soon when everyone is gone.

###

"Dat's mi fuckin' friend, we is trouble!"

Yani was loud and grabbing onto her friend Lesonne's arm as she screeched out words to a group of women who tried to provoke a fight with Yani's other friend Milah. She spilled a little of her rum drink on her white pants as she swayed against her other girlfriends Aisha and Caypri. From the side of her eye, she saw Erik at the bar stirring his glass of brown liquor as he spoke to the male bartender leaning over to listen to him.

Since she didn't have to drive, Yani decided to drink to her heart's content. She was so ready to hear Kendall perform live. The audience was bigger, the venue was bigger, and his popularity had grown to greater heights since his travels to Florida and New York. He had quit his gardening job with Klaue and moved into an apartment with two other rappers, finally getting his very own bed to sleep in. He no longer rode his motorcycle since he now had a new car to tool around in. Nothing too flashy, a two-year-old red Honda S2000. It was enough to make Kendall feel like he had arrived.

The boisterous women who had the nerve to accost Milah for looking at one of them a little too hard peeped Yani's whole crew, including Twyla who arrived on the scene late with her newest boyfriend. They hesitated to go any further with their backchat. Flouncing away with her girls, Yani tossed her empty drink and headed out to the dance floor and joined her cousin Dulan in swinging hips and throwing up party hands. She kept an eye on the bar as Erik was approached by different women. He was engaging but focused on his liquor and his view of the stage where Kendall would perform.

Yani danced with her friends among a group of men who tried to show off for them. Two were from St. Croix and Yani was stuck with a Trini who wanted to talk her ear off asking questions about Kendall. She eased off the floor and stood to the side to watch the action. Tapping her left heel with her arms folded across her chest, she enjoyed the gyrating bodies.

"Booty out here jiggling."

She felt Erik ease behind her, his right hand caressing her waist and pulling her back against him.

"I'm not even dancing, hush."

"It don't take much to make them yams bounce, Ma."

He kissed the side of her face and she reached up and stroked his new locs. She thrust her backside against him and he eased back.

"Nah, you not getting me in trouble right now."

She grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the floor with her and he held his drink above her head with his left hand.

Yani felt up his chest while enjoying the stares of others as Erik let her nails rake up and down his pecs that strained against a white cotton shirt. They both agreed to wear all white and her own form-fitting pants and shirt complemented his outfit. The lights of the club made them glow on the dance floor.

Erik sipped on his drink and watched her bring back old dancehall moves, her butterfly a bit raunchy for the crowd. Her friends swarmed around them making the affair more hyped. The energy in the room was high octane and so ready for good live music. Erik finished his drink, tossed the cup, and moved them deeper into the dance mix.

Her eyes took in Erik's face and the happiness she saw there made her spirit burst. The man could dance his ass off and entwining her fingers with his made her feel possessive of him. When dub mixes came on, she usually left the dance floor, but Erik made her appreciate dancing to the dank sounds, especially when she rubbed up against him and he matched her move for move. Winding on him, he gripped her hips and let the room see how he handled all of her. She noticed a lot of women watching him work her body over with dreamy expressions on their faces. There were a lot of stone faces from the men though.

They touched one another openly as they danced, and several times she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him while they swayed.

"Having fun?" he asked after releasing her lips.

"Mmmhmm."

She shook her hips and he slapped her butt playfully before pulling her close again and lifting her off of her feet to swing her around in another direction.

She couldn't keep her eyes off of him, nor could she stop touching him. His hands rested on her lower back as she gazed up at his face. His eyes darted about taking in the couples on the floor and his dimples flashed whenever she squeezed on his ass. He smelled so good that she constantly nuzzled her face into his neck so that her nose could take in his scent.

"Why you keep licking on me?" he asked.

Her tongue flicked along his neck and he leaned back from her.

"Tickles…" he whispered.

He lowered his mouth to hers and they kissed for the thousandth time that night.

"Hey, Killmonger…"

The woman's breathy voice caught Yani's ear as Erik released his mouth from hers and swiveled his neck to see who was talking to him on the dance floor.

"Still around I see," the woman said.

Yani sized her up.

She was only a few inches taller than Yani, a yellow-brown gyal with cat eyes and wanton lips. The woman danced with her man, but her moves were for Erik. Big titties… way bigger than Yani's…were thrust out for the world to see and her hips were made for men like him. Yani didn't like the way the woman licked her lips at Erik before her eyes fluttered to see what he had on his arm. She recognized Yani but chose to act like she wasn't there.

"Harlee," Erik said.

His tone made Yani's lips scrunch up with annoyance.

He had fucked that woman and it had been good to him.

"Tend to yuh man," Yani said to her with some attitude.

Harlee smiled and Erik pulled Yani closer into him.

"No disrespect, Black Mermaid," Harlee said.

Yani sucked her teeth and Erik slapped her butt.

"Stop being mean," he said.

Harlee moved with her partner further behind some other dancers.

"Her meant disrespect. She didn't have to say one word while I'm here."

"Chill—"

"Waving her titties in yuh face. She letting me know she fucked my man to get mi vex."

"Girl, stop."

"For true, man. But me nuh vex. For real. She rude. Yuh rude! Frog face, bitch!"

Yani felt spittle fly from her lips. Erik only smirked and twirled her around.

"Thought you had taste," she teased.

"She not ugly. Don't tell that lie."

"She not cute."

"You trippin."

"Step your game up. Yuh suck them titties good?"

Dimples. Big pearly white teeth flashed at her.

"Yuh did. That's the only thing cute on her."

Yani was amazed that she could joke about a woman he had sex with, but the way Erik held her let her know it was so long ago and probably a one and done hook up. She just wanted to be petty and he let her.

"You were still being mean to me when I got with her."

She caressed his chest again and he ran his fingers up and down her spine.

The movement on stage let the patrons know it was about to be showtime. Erik clasped Yani's hand and led her back to the bar where the best view was while Yani's friends headed to the left of the stage.

Posted up against the bar counter, Yani leaned into Erik, his hard body supporting her frame. She turned around to hug him a bit and his right hand drifted down to grip her right butt cheek. He rubbed it knowing people were watching, thirsty locals wishing they were in his place and squeezing soft handfuls of the Black mermaid. She tilted her head up and puckered her lips. Erik lowered his head and their lips touched. Yani slipped her tongue in his mouth and felt dizzy tasting cognac. His fingers rested on the cleft of her ass. She tried to keep her tongue in his mouth but his lips traveled up her neck and he nibbled on her earlobe.

"You 'gon take care of Daddy tonight?" he whispered.

"All night," she sighed.

"You 'gon sit that fat pussy on my dick all night?"

Yani's lips quirked and she felt her eyes water. His words were hot in her ear making the nerves tingle from his breath. Erik's hand dropped down and cupped her mound. He didn't care who saw him do it. The tips of his pointer and index finger tapped against the outline of her opening.

"…get you all wet wet. Let Daddy fuck you in your ass?"

"Oomph…Killmonger…"

His fingertips pressed a little too deep into her slit and she felt like she was about to cum in front of everyone. His soft taps along her pussy lips had her wiggling on his hand.

She could feel her clit thumping with his tongue dipping into her ear.

The lights on the stage flashed and the music switched to Kendall's "Fiyahbun". Yani's voice filled the entire club as they heard her sing the chorus. A big grin spread across her lips as she saw Erik giving serious appreciative stank face to the thunderous bass carrying her voice all around everyone. A few patrons stared at her as they sang along with her vocals. Yani twisted around to face the stage as she listened to the new remixed version of the song.

"Baby, you sound wavy as fuck," Erik shouted above the music.

"Queen Mary, ah where you 'gon burn? Queen Mary, ah, where you 'gon burn?"

Yani moved her neck in time to her own voice, impressed with the new version.

"Queens don't vibe, hear me now? With no fuck niggas!"

She felt Erik moving his hips dancing to the song. He gripped her waist and rocked into her as she let her ass cheeks rub against him in time to the music.

"Shit is dope," Erik whispered into her ear.

There was something epic about swaying with her man to her own song. The heat from his mouth on her ear had her turned on all the way. She wanted him to drag her to the car and fuck her in the backseat while listening to her voice in surround sound crooning to him.

The speed of her voice was slowed down in reverb creating a haunting sound as Kendall took to the stage. So much swag. So much confidence. So much command of the stage. Yani felt like his first performance over a year ago where he had an anxiety attack and almost vomited on himself was a fuzzy memory. The young man controlling the stage and audience now was acting like a seasoned professional while her voice backed him.

"Queen Mary…fiyahbun…fiyahbun…fiyahbun…"

Her voice seduced the audience and Yani stood still watching the crowd react to her singing as Kendall rapped a few bars on top of her lyrics. Kendall had asked her to perform live with him, but she wanted this night to be about him.

The last echoes of her voice faded as the live band behind him fired up and played the intro to his latest track. A mash-up of all the sounds they grew up with as children. There was nothing like live musicians feeding into the energy of their vocalist, and Kendall gave them all a taste of his true vocal prowess. He sang the chorus himself and his backup singers, top-shelf beauties who swayed in sync behind him, backed him up smoothly as the funky sounds reached a crescendo.

"Your cousin done come up!" Erik shouted.

"Mmmhmmm, him choice. He ah star now!"

Kendall's set was a glorious triumph and Yani felt so proud of her cousin. She hooted and hollered for him along with everyone else and when he finished, Yani knew for certain he was going to make it big. The charisma and talent and star power were right there in front of everyone.

A new performer took to the stage and Yani clung to Erik's arm as it wrapped around her chest holding her close. The seductive female vocalist put everyone into a sexy state of mind after Kendall's fiery intro and Yani arched her back and thrust her backside against Erik once more.

"Stop teasing'…" he whispered trying to ignore her ass by being still.

The crowd around them was busy holding up cell phones to capture the performers on stage and Yani felt bold bouncing her thickness on him openly.

"Yani—"

His left arm pulled her tighter against him.

Her mouth formed a tight "Oh" expression when his right hand slipped down into her pants, bypassing her panties. She gripped his arm in a panic as his fingers dipped into her slick opening.

"That's what you get for teasing me. I'ma play in this pussy now…"

Yani tried to squirm away from his hold, but he clutched her in a solid embrace, his fingers wiggling against her walls.

"People can see…"

"Think I care?"

Yani's eyes swept to her left. One man around Erik's age was the only person not watching the stage, his horny eyes glued to Erik's fingers turning her out.

Erik's teeth gripped the sensitive tip of her ear. Yani panted, her eyes darting about. Only the stranger to her left was paying attention to their public debauchery.

"A man is watching—"

"Let him."

Her eyes tracked back over to her left and the stranger's lips were pursed, his eyes fully taking in all the pleasure she was receiving. When Erik's fingers flicked her clit, Yani's body jerked back and her mouth flew open again. Her eyes latched onto the stranger's and the illicit connection made her pussy pulse around Erik's fingers. She widened her thighs and Erik went deeper and she moaned much to the stranger's own pleasure at watching her. The man's right hand held a drink, and he let it drop down in front of the clear bulge that poked out in front of his pants. He tried to be sly about it, but Yani could tell he was rubbing himself while watching her get fingered.

Tight circles teased her hard clit and when she felt the uncontrollable release of her orgasm clutching Erik's fingers when he inserted them once more into her gushy slit, the stranger's eyes closed tight.

"Jesus, man…yuh killing me…" she hissed.

Erik pulled his sticky fingers from her pants and grabbed her hand. She straggled behind him as he guided her out of the venue and to Klaue's S.U.V.

Erik opened the back-passenger door of the car and helped her get in. He jumped in after her.

Pulling down his pants and boxers to his ankles, she could see his rock-hard erection waiting for her. She kicked off her heels, pulled off her pants and panties for him and crawled onto his lap.

"Ride this dick."

He held her up by her waist and she lined her wet opening with his tip.

"Fuck yes!" he shouted when she slid down to his balls.

They had the car bouncing with their fucking and Yani couldn't stop squealing when held her still and pounded his dick up into her hard and fast.

"Lemme cum in your pussy—"

"No—"

"Why not…oh shit…pussy wet as fuck…fuck…Yani…I wanna cum in this pussy—"

"Cum in my mouth. Mi wahn see the rest of the show…yuh fill mi pussy up too much…ooh love…right there…I feel it deep…shit…yuh soak my panties up and I'll be a mess all night."

Erik grabbed her throat.

"I'ma bust in this fat pussy—"

Yani pushed on his chest.

"Killmonger…don't—"

"Pussy too good baby…"

He choked her tighter.

"Don't… mi nuh wahn walk around with soggy pants."

Erik burst out laughing and released her throat. She lifted off of his dick while he kept laughing.

"For real, man. Yuh like ah volcano. Cum heavy…then it flows back down."

"You don't like it?"

"I love it… at home."

He kissed her and she stroked his length.

"Too much," she whispered.

His eyes regarded her with humor until her thumb circled around the fat head of his glans.

"Let's go home," he said.

She rolled her eyes.

"Open your mouth."

Yani shifted next to him and put her face down by his tip. She let him tap his dick on her lips before she separated them for him.

He had her slurping on his dick while he cradled her head. She moved to her knees in front of him, head steady bobbing. He hit the back of throat roughly and she released his length to catch her breath and rest her mouth.

"I make too much cum?"

His thumb toyed with her wet lips and Yani nibbled the tips of his fingers before dropping her head back down to his lap.

His eyes burned into hers as she sucked around his frenulum. The tip of her tongue teased his slit. Playing with her nipples through her shirt, Erik closed his eyes.

"You should let me soak them panties…"

She groaned on his dick and he let the back of his head fall on the headrest.

"You know how to take all my cum…lick my balls…"

Her face lowered further and she suckled each nut sack for him.

"Yeah…put those balls all in your mouth…"

She sucked, licked, kissed, and fisted his erection until he lifted her back up and made her ride his dick in reverse. He squeezed her breasts and thrust up into her.

"I just want to hit it a little bit more…fuck this pussy right…get you ready for more later…"

The loud sound of him slapping his body into hers filled the car. She threw her head back and took it, the build-up of a new orgasm tightening the nerves in her clit that was feeling the strong tugs from his pounding. She loved what he was doing to her. She loved the liquor still coursing through her. She loved it so much that it made her mouth reckless.

"You fuck Linda like this?"

He slowed down.

"What…why would you ask…"

Her mind thought of her and Erik on the dance floor together, all the eyes of the other women watching him, watching his tight body rub against her front and back. She liked the longing she saw. All that desire. It was the same look Linda had on her face, and Yani wanted him to remember her pussy that had him begging to cum in it. Linda wanted what she had, and Yani wanted Linda's sex with Killmonger wiped from his mind.

"Answer me."

"Nah."

"Whose pussy yuh wahn cum in?"

His moans thrilled her ears and the hard needy gasps he emitted every few seconds let her know he was desperate to spurt inside of her.

"Yours girl…yours…," he grunted.

She leaned forward and shifted her weight. Erik shouted and slapped her rump.

"Godammit! Bounce on that dick!"

"She nuh give it to yuh like this?"

She slowed down and flexed her walls around him, doing her best to hold his erection as tight as she could.

"Fuck her, Yani…stop talking 'bout—"

"This be yuh pussy forever, hear me? No one love mi like yuh do, man. No one…"

"Yani…"

Erik stroked the back of her neck. She turned around to bounce on him face to face. Her wrists draped around the back of his neck.

"Love me always, Killmonger?"

"Yes."

Wet kisses joined them together even more and she leaned her face against his as he held her tight giving her everything he could in the backseat of the vehicle.

"I'ma cum…lemme cum in you, baby."

Yani sat still and just let her pussy muscles work Erik's thickness.

"I told you I wahn see the show."

"You betta lift up then cuz my balls are tight and I'ma—"

"Hold it—"

"Girl…the fuck…I can't just—"

"I wahn feel your dick all thick and juicy in this pussy—"

"Yani…I'm fuckin' serious…you betta—"

"Big dick…all in your fat pussy—"

Erik's eyes rolled back and he lifted Yani up from his dick. Her labia rested on his length as a hot lava flow of cum shot all over his chest and dripped down to her mound drenching them both.

Erik fell back against the seat gasping and stared down at the semen overflow. He touched his shirt.

"Damn, I messed up my shirt," he said.

Yani glanced down at his lap and lifted up. She felt his semen pooling under her ass. She gave a big sigh and stared back at him.

"Hey, I didn't cum inside you, so don't blame me for what happens outside your pussy."

The smirk on his face made her giggle and slap his chest.

"Guess we're going home after all," he said reaching for his pants.

###

They picked up Sydette from her parents.

Since they had left the club so early, there was no point waiting until morning to get her. Yani held her sleeping daughter in her arms as Erik drove them to the compound. She took a deep breath when they walked into Klaue's main house.

"You alright?" he asked.

She nodded.

They were back in their home again.

It was Klaue's property, but only the three of them made the house a real home.

Erik showered first and while he dressed in clean loungers, Sydette woke up and walked out of her room looking for Yani. Erik watched her while Yani showered, and instead of the nasty sex he thought he would have with Yani again, the three of them piled onto the bed together.

Sydette slept between them and Erik just stared at Yani's face as they watched one another. It felt good to have them both back with him.

He had food prepared for their last two days together. The next day would be a cove day and swimming with sunbathing. The following day had even more chill around the house time until he had to fly out. He planned a surprise birthday party for the three of them. He would miss both their birthdays again, so he wanted to have a celebration to end his time there.

Yani's eyes watched him so intensely that he reached out and stroked her cheek. She didn't want to sleep. So afraid he would suddenly disappear probably. They held hands on the bed until Sydette half woke up and crawled onto his chest, her head resting under his neck. Yani tried to pull her back between them but Sweet Pea whined until Erik made Yani leave her alone. Yani stroked her daughter's shoulder until she dozed off herself.

He listened to both of his girls' breathing and tried to stay awake for a long time so he could remember that sound.

He woke up in the middle of the night with Sydette shaking his face.

"I have tuh go bathroom, Baba," she said.

He helped her down from the bed and walked her into her room's bathroom where her potty seat was. The bright lights in the room woke him up fully as he waited for Sydette to finish.

"Make sure you wipe yourself."

She reached for the toilet paper next to the adult toilet and he had to keep himself from chuckling when she did her best to clean herself.

"Throw it in the big toilet," he said.

He helped her wash her hands after flushing the toilet.

"I wahn juice."

He walked with Sydette into the kitchen and found an unopened bottle of apple juice waiting. He poured a little inside a plastic cup and handed it to her.

"More, please," she said holding the cup up to him.

"It'll make you pee again."

"No—"

"Yes, it will."

"I hold it."

"No don't do that. Just a little bit."

He poured just enough for her to get three good sips.

"Thank you," she said handing him the cup.

"You hungry?"

"No."

His eyes took in her small form. He felt a small lump in his throat as he thought about the exact moment he first saw her on his bed fast asleep. No teeth. Tiny curls plastered to her scalp. Chubby belly making her shirt ride up. She could only babble and point back then, but now…

"We all good now?" he said swallowing hard.

Sydette nodded.

He wanted the best for her. If Yani ever married or formed a new relationship with someone, Erik wanted this little girl to know she was loved and would never want for anything. He didn't want Sydette to forget him, but she was so young. Erik tried to think of the many people from his past that his own parents knew and sometimes there were blanks when he tried to go back to when he was two.

Two.

Damn.

Sydette was just nine months when he first stepped on the island. She would be two so soon.

Her face stared up at him, probably wondering why they were still standing in the kitchen.

"Back to bed, Sweet Pea."

Erik guided her to the master bedroom. She fell back to sleep quickly against Yani's arm and Erik got up to go stand out on the bedroom balcony. The roar of the surf sounded loud and he stood there until dawn broke. The hours were winding down too fast for him.

When sunlight struck the room, he turned to see his love wide awake and watching him. Sydette was still asleep. Yani held out her hand to him and he walked back inside. Spooning around her he gave her kisses for over an hour until they both slipped away into the other bedroom to make love. He held her legs with his arms as he balanced her on the edge of the bed. Plunging into her, the only sound they released were soft sighs and the wet suction of her walls gripping and releasing him. She slathered his morning wood with so much frothy slickness that he had to bite his own lips to keep from yelling and waking Sydette. He didn't spill into Yani until they were under the covers spooned together once more, his hips rocking into her backside as he fondled her breasts. He bit her neck during his release and the new mark was deep enough to stay for a few days. A harsh shout escaped Yani's lips when he sank deeper to drown her with all of his seed.

A loud "Fuck!" jumped from his mouth and he pushed his face into her shoulder to laugh. He could never be totally quiet with her. It was impossible.

Sydette came looking for them and luckily, they were under the covers and already finished when she found them huddled together.

"Waffles?" Sydette asked.

"I guess I'm making waffles for breakfast," he said.

###

He had gumbo simmering on the stove early in a large crockpot and made them cranberry chicken sandwiches and salads for their time spent on the beach at the cove. Yani was relaxed on a beach chair and deep into a new medical journal on global pandemics while Erik built sandcastles with Sydette and dipped in and out of the water when the mood struck him.

They ate at their leisure until the sun was high overhead.

"I'm so full," Yani said rubbing her belly, "I won't have room for gumbo."

Sydette was tipped over on a blanket fast asleep, her fingers still clutching a pink plastic shovel.

"Here, put this over her."

Yani unwrapped a rayon beach cover she wore over her waist and Erik draped it over Sydette to keep her skin from burning.

"I should move her to the shade—"

"She's fine. It's not too hot right now. Give yourself a break."

Yani stood up and stretched. Her eyes surveyed the water and Erik watched her take off her blue bikini and wade in. She dove under a lazy wave and floated on her back. Her deep brown body drifted away from shore. He felt that automatic pull to go to her. Eyes checking for Sydette, Erik stood from the blanket they shared and followed Yani out into the water. He circled her and she tread in place.

"Sneaky face," she said.

He splashed water on her and she splashed back.

He ducked under and grabbed her legs pulling her down.

Rising back to the surface together, Yani wiped droplets from her face. They moved closer to shore until he could feel sand under his feet. The aura around her face had him entranced. Without make-up she was a natural beauty, her youth so apparent to him. A decade older he wondered how he would've been with her had he been in his twenties again. That time in his life was wild. Certain women from his past came to his mind and he was so glad that this woman swimming before him came at a time when he could really appreciate her. He broke a lot of hearts, but he could always say that he was honest with the women he hurt. So many tried to scoop him up. Lock him down. Domesticate him. He was a dog. A good dog. But still a dog. He may have run all through Yani and felt no guilt when he stepped. That's just how it was. His Uncle Bakari told him he had his father's nature. His Aunt Serah concurred whole-heartedly.

Maturity brought reflection. Wisdom.

He was old enough finally to have someone like Yani for the short time he did. And it was worth it. She made him remember his heart again. Made him feel once more. He was losing that side of himself through anxiety. Depression. Killing. All the anger he held deep inside.

"I like it when you smile at me," he said.

"I always smile at you."

"Not that first time I came here. You yelled at me."

"This is all my territory. Can't have some strange man out here."

He imitated her voice in a teasing high-pitched whine.

"Hey! You out there! What are you doin' here?"

Yani splashed water on him.

"I didn't say it like that!"

"Yes, you did! Gave me stank face and everything! Hand on your hip. Sucking your teeth. Pointing your finger at me—"

"Yuh lie, man!"

Her soft laughter warmed his spirit.

His Black mermaid.

Yemanja.

"The second time I saw you…you were naked and the water fell from you like… jewels. I walked away from you…"

Yani wiped seawater from his cheeks. He kissed her hand.

"My father…my Baba…he said the first time he saw my mother he knew she was his life…"

He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He held her and floated for them.

"Thank you," he said.

"For what?

Erik looked away from her bright eyes.

"This chance…"

A wave pushed them and Yani let go of him. They tumbled closer to shore. Water splashed in her eyes and she turned away. Wrapping his arms around her waist, Erik kissed the back of her neck. Tracing his fingers down her shoulders, he cupped her breasts and circled her tips with his index fingers. Yani turned suddenly and jumped on him, knocking him back into the water. He felt the drag of the tide sucking sand back under his feet and he reached out for her. Lifting her high in the air, he tossed her out toward the sea and the big splash blew back on his face.

"Mama! I wahn play!"

Erik saw Sydette bouncing on her feet, the water licking her toes at the shore.

"Come out here, Sweet Pea," he said.

"Cold!"

"It's not that cold," Yani yelled.

Sydette hopped on one foot and then the other. She was so cute in her little blue bikini.

"Come get me!"

"Swim out here," Yani called.

Sydette hopped up and down.

"Baba! Get me!"

Yani grabbed his arm when she saw Erik moving toward her.

"Let her swim," Yani cajoled.

"Baba…"

Erik was torn. Sydette's hands were spread out toward him. They heard the whine in her voice and watched her stomp her feet with annoyance.

"Baby girl, swim to us. I'll meet you halfway, okay?"

Erik waved her toward him.

Sydette took a tentative step forward and tested the water again with her right foot.

"Cold…"

"Be a big girl, Sweet Pea. Show me you can do it."

It was obvious to her that no one was coming, so Sydette ran really fast toward them.

"Ow…ow…ow!" she huffed out as if the cool water was really hurting her.

A small wave pushed her back and she went under only to pop back up dog-paddling toward them. Erik stepped toward her, keeping his promise and moving halfway to her. Her body was buoyed up by a new wave and he reached out his right hand.

"A little further, Sweet Pea," he encouraged.

The closer she got, the more determined her face was until she reached out to grab his hand.

"There ya go! Big girl!"

Erik held her against his chest as she wiped her face.

"I did it, Mama!"

"Yeah yuh did!"

Yani kissed her forehead and Sydette jumped from Erik's arms to hers.

They played in the water together until rain fell upon them. Sydette looked up toward the sky and stuck out her tongue to taste the rainwater.

"Well, at least we were able to get a few hours down here," Yani said as she gathered up her bikini.

They packed up their lunch basket and towels. Erik carried their beach chairs and once more found himself trailing Yani and Sydette. Yani bent down to adjust the bikini top that Sydette wore that matched her own.

"Queen Mary what yuh bun…" Sydette sang.

Yani glanced back at Erik with a big grin on her face.

"Who taught you that, Sweet Pea?" Erik asked.

"Auntie Twyla."

"No bad words I hope," Yani said to him.

Taking shelter from the rain in the main house, Erik made tea while Yani cleaned up Sydette.

"Are you yawning?" Erik asked when Yani padded into the living room wearing an orange baby doll dress.

"Water made us sleepy. I'm going to lay down with her. Want to come?"

"Y'all rest. I'm gonna chill a minute. Check on this gumbo. Take a nap with the baby. I'll wake you up later. Okay?"

"Not too late," she said.

Yani kissed his nose with a loud smooch and sashayed back to the master bedroom.

Erik checked their food and debated about making cornbread. He baked a small cake for their birthday celebration and let it cool on the island counter.

His personal cell rang and he saw Marisol's avatar. Padding back into the living room, he closed the hallway door that led to the bedrooms. He accepted Marisol's call on the viewscreen and lowered the volume.

"Yo, what it do cuz?"

Marisol's eyes didn't look playful like they normally did. In fact, they looked tense.

"JaJa."

The Portuguese accent on his family nickname let him know no English was going to be used.

"What is it?"

"Change your mind," she said.

Marisol's face loomed large on the screen. She was in her apartment alone.

"Don't start—"

"I'm begging you—"

"I'll call you when I get to my next spot—"

"You make me carry this burden. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want you out there doing that shit anymore."

"Lower your voice."

"Don't tell me to lower my voice, JaJa."

She burst into tears and Erik stood up from the couch and moved in front of the viewscreen.

"Marisol—"

"Grandpa Dante told me that you are planning visits to everyone soon. That some kind of Tour of Duty?"

"I visited you and Aunt Serah back in December—"

"He said everyone, JaJa. Like a farewell tour. You're going there now, aren't you?"

"I'll talk to you later—"

"Don't you hang up on me!"

Her shriek was more explosive with her face so large in front of him.

"Killmonger…"

Yani stood in the open hallway door. Her eyes were wide staring up at Marisol's crying face.

"Go back to bed, baby. I'll get you in a few minutes. I need some privacy right now—"

"You're Yani, right?"

Marisol's English was good, but when she was stressed or excited, her accent came out thick.

"Yes."

Yani stepped further into the room.

Marisol's eyes gazed at Yani with compassion.

"Yani, I said go back into the bedroom—"

The rumble in his voice made Marisol's eyes focus hard on Yani.

"Yani, talk to him. Convince him to stay there…with you. Please! He's about to —"

Erik shut down the viewscreen.

He kept his back to Yani.

"Killmonger. What was she talking about? Who was that?"

"My cousin. She is upset with me because…"

The words wouldn't come the way he wanted.

"Finish. Why is she so angry? Scared?"

He heard the fear in her voice now too.

"We've had a disagreement for the last six months and it makes her upset to talk about it. It's personal Yani. Nothing to do with you."

"She knows my name. Looked at me like she knows me well—"

"I was with her and my Aunt. Before Sydette was sick. I told her about you. Us. Just forget it!"

"Why are you so angry right now?"

"I'm not angry Yani. Just irritated. That's all. You know family shit gets people agitated. Give me some space right now and I'll come in the room in a minute—"

Her arms went around his waist.

"She's scared for you. She was crying over you. Yuh going off to do something bad. Like before…"

She touched his keloids. He rested his hands on top of hers.

"Don't go," she whispered into his back.

It was the thing he didn't need to hear. The thing he dreaded coming from her. It was bad enough to see Marisol crying over him. He didn't need Yani falling apart too. Not now.

Twisting around in her arms he held her against his chest.

"Let's go lay down."

She shook her head furiously.

"C'mon."

He eased her backward and she went along with him.

###

"Happy birthday, baby."

Yani couldn't help but grin ear to ear when she saw Erik walk into the dining room with a blue and white frosted cake. Three light blue candles flickered on top. Sydette sat on Yani's lap and clapped her hands when she saw the birthday treat. He placed the cake in front of them on the table.

"Make a wish," he said.

Yani's eyes held his gentle gaze and she looked away before she said something to make herself start crying again. She closed her eyes and made a bargain instead. Something she would keep to herself.

When her eyes went back to his, he was watching Sydette touch a tiny corner of icing and taste the sweetness.

"Happy birthday to you…" he sang, and Sydette joined him.

"Blow?" her daughter said looking at Erik with excited eyes.

"Go ahead," he said.

Yani blew the candles out with her and Erik clapped his hands.

He didn't bother to bring out plates, just three forks. They dug into the cake and watched Sydette smear frosting on her cheeks trying to eat a forkful that was bigger than her mouth. Chocolate was their favorite and the small cake was gone in a matter of minutes.

"Dang, I forgot the ice cream," he said jumping up and running back into the kitchen. He returned with small bowls of vanilla ice cream and they ate that quietly together.

They watched a little television, Animal Planet, and Sydette sat wide-eyed watching giraffes run wild in a pack until she yawned and sprawled out on Yani's lap. An hour later Erik lifted her daughter from her lap and carried her into her room.

Yani stretched, took a moment to use the restroom, then waited for Erik to return. She was still rattled from Marisol's call. Couldn't get that woman's face out of her mind.

Erik sprawled out on her lap in Sydette's place and she stroked his hair. His eyes eased shut and his body relaxed on her. His bare chest enticed her to touch it and his warmth was nice to feel.

"Where are you going, Killmonger?"

He ignored her at first, turned his head toward her stomach and tried to pretend he didn't hear her.

"I have the right to know this time. Yuh never come back…I have the right to know…"

"Let us have this last night in peace, Yani. Please."

"You gave us so much. I don't want to spend the rest of my life…"

She felt his body tense.

"I don't want to start a fight or upset you—"

"Then leave it be."

"I want to…for you…but…"

He rolled over and looked up at her face.

"Don't make me hurt more than I already do. Don't hurt yourself more by asking. You're right about me. I'm a killer. That bad man. I just want to be a good man for these last few hours. Be a good man for you…"

He stroked her cheek and she held his hand against her chest.

"You can be a good man for always, love…please…"

He turned away from her and watched the tv.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"

She touched his temple and smoothed back a few of his locs. His eyes shut tight and he reached back to touch her cheek.

"I'm the one that's sorry, Yani. I can't give you what you want. There ain't no promises I can give that can make you feel good or make you think we have a future. I have nothing—"

"You have me."

"I have you," he whispered.

She bent down and rested her plump lips on his fuller ones and let the skin there lightly touch before she opened her mouth to let her tongue taste his.

He fondled her nipples through her dress as they kissed.

"Take this off," he said tugging on her dress.

She did what he asked and he rested back on the wide couch.

"Sit on my face."

Always direct. Demanding.

She crawled above him and sat her vulva on his lips.

The heat from his mouth had her sighing before he even licked up and down her folds. She felt her labia plumping up fully, and when the tip of his tongue flicked her clit, she was already dripping onto his lips.

He flattened his tongue and Yani wiggled her waist to get the full lavish flourishes of his wet mouth. Leaning forward, Yani exhaled hard into the couch. He ate her pussy like it was a fine art to be mastered. His hands reached up and held her ass cheeks as he plunged his tongue into her opening. Hot puffs of breath from his mouth excited her more as deep groans had him stop every few seconds to gather himself. She lifted up and gazed down at his face as she writhed above him. She felt his hands release her ass as he pulled down his loose sweatpants and freed his erection. His right hand gripped his length and tugged hard.

She dropped her ass onto his face and he moaned into her pussy.

"Shit…Yani…"

His tongue traced patterns into her folds and her keening above him spurned the movement of his hand jerking off his dick. That wide tongue of his, interchanged with his big lips rubbing all over her labia, made her cry out his name. She pressed her pussy hard on his mouth.

"I'm cumming!" she yelled.

Erik groaned so loud and his body went stiff under her.

When she looked behind her, she watched him ejaculate all over his hand.

"Fuck! I want to cum in your ass Yani."

She crawled off of his face and sauntered into the master bedroom. When she returned to him on the couch, she handed him a bottle of lube and some tissue to wipe up his semen.

Lying next to him, she allowed his hands to roam all over her body before he squeezed a generous amount of lube onto his fingers. He kissed her with slow deliberation as his fingers took their time inserting into her anus, massaging her there. He slickened up his new erection with even more lubrication. Yani leaned forward while gripping the couch cushion and lifted up her leg a bit so he could get his tip pressed into her anal opening. She held her breath and relaxed with a deep exhale as he inserted three inches into her.

"You okay?" he asked.

Rubbing her waist, he waited for her consent before he pressed in further. She could only handle about four inches at that moment and he eased back out to use more lubricant. When she was ready, he pushed back in until she was comfortable with more from him.

He gave short thrusts that she liked and inserted his fingers into her pussy. Stroked from both openings, the tightness pulling her close to the edge of another explosive release, Yani endured the nasty words spilling from his mouth and into her ear as he fucked her good and long.

"…just letting me fuck you in your ass like this…"

"…yes…"

"…nasty…I'ma put cum in you like this…"

"…please…"

"…'gon nut all up in you like this…deep in this ass…fuck girl…letting me do this shit…"

She chewed on the sensitive skin of her lips.

"Who else you fuck like this?"

"Just you…and Chez…"

"Goddamn, I'm in there deep!"

His head fell forward onto her shoulder and she knew he was done whenever he couldn't speak anymore. His fingers had her pussy sticky. His dick had her anus stretched with pleasure. Slow. Deep. Gentle. Just how she liked it with him and only him. "I feel your balls, Killmonger…"

"All in this ass…tight…ah fuckkk—"

His orgasm rendered him speechless and he jerked against her as he spurt hot jizz.

"…nasty bitch…cumming in your fat ass…"

Yani felt tears of sexual release drip from her lids as her pussy spasmed around his fingers. When he removed his slick digits from her, he held her tight and kissed the back of her neck and shoulders. They were both covered in sweat.

"You can bring a nigga to his knees, swear to God."

Yani grinned and held onto him as he brushed his lips over her clavicle. She felt his penis soften and he pulled out from her.

They watched tv a bit longer until Erik removed himself from her and took a long shower. She took one after him and when she finished, all he wanted to do was lay in bed with her for the rest of the night. She asked him no more questions about his destination.

She focused on the now.

###

"What are you two doing?"

Erik sat still on the floor with his back against the vanity mirror drawer. Sweet Pea stood in front of him with her left hand on his forehead and her right hand smearing bronze lipstick on his lips. Yani clutched her stomach and laughed hard when she saw his entire face when Sydette stepped back from her handiwork.

Bronzer, cinnamon eyeshadow, false eyelashes, and liquid foundation rounded out Erik's features.

"Makin Baba pretty Mama, see?"

Sydette returned to her work tracing the lipstick outside the lines of his mouth.

"How I look?" he asked.

"A hot mess," Yani said.

Erik stood up and looked in the mirror. Sydette crawled onto the vanity chair and patted his arm.

"I have tuh finish your lips. Put more on…"

She held up the lipstick and he bent down so she could add a little more.

"There," Sydette said.

"All done?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Clown face—"

"Hush, baby girl worked hard to perfect this look. You just jealous cuz you can't get your face like this."

"Tuh."

Erik ran his fingers through his hair to fluff out his locs.

"I look good, don't know what you hatin' on. Jealous."

He walked into the living room and grabbed his sandals by the door.

"Please tell me you not wearing that face—"

"We're going for a walk. Join us if you want."

Sydette still held the lipstick in her hand and rolled it along her mouth. Yani took it from her.

"Fifty-dollar lipstick…for playtime," Yani said.

"You can afford it. Let's go Sweet Pea."

"We pretty, Mama."

"I see."

Sydette held Erik's hand and they walked around the compound.

They visited Jerome and watched him chase off another iguana from the pool. Moving through Klaue's prized flowers, they observed butterflies resting easy and caught a gentle breeze on their faces as they walked down to the cove.

Yani trailed behind them, still laughing at his overly made face, and Erik just acted like it was normal to have a face beat to the two-year-old Gods of cosmetics. He picked up seashells with Sydette and dipped his toes in the water with her. She chased him when they returned to the house for lunch.

"You are really going to keep that look?"

Yani served them leftover gumbo and cornbread. She kept shaking her head each time she looked at him.

"Hater," he teased.

They napped together on the couch until it started raining again, the soft patter of water striking the roof. They played with Sydette's toys until Yani couldn't take it anymore and made Erik clean off his face. He could hear Yani's snarky laughter while he did it.

Yani cooked their last dinner together, made him all the island foods he loved, and Erik ate until he was stuffed.

As the sun made the journey down from the sky, Erik grew somber.

They put Sydette to bed early and Erik read her a book and stayed with her until the little girl fell asleep.

"Here."

Yani handed him a glass of white wine and they sat outside on the lounger to watch the stars pop out across the dark velvet sky.

Yani crawled onto his lap and he held her close, nuzzling his nose into her neck. A dragonfly drone flew past the balcony, its movement a little off-kilter. The battery was probably running down.

Yani wiggled on his lap, hungry for him once more, and he stripped out of his loungers for her and gave her the dick she craved. In his favorite spot. In his favorite position with her.

"Fuck, I don't want nobody else in this pussy…." he chuffed into her neck.

Lifting her up, Erik stood with her legs slung over his biceps. His eyes watched the water far down below as he thrust. The mewling from her throat had him on edge and he locked his legs in position to hold her up while his length pumped up into her. He needed to work his back into it and carried her on his dick back into the house and into their bedroom.

Her legs spread wide and her toes pointing toward the wall, Erik pressed his muscular thighs into her thick ones as they both watched his dick plunge in and out of her gripping folds.

"I'ma be in this pussy all night. You know that, right?"

She nodded vigorously, her lips pressed tight as they heard the sloppy noise coming from their engorged lower parts.

"You want all of Daddy's cum now, huh girl?"

"Hmmmph…"

"Want me to fuck you in your ass again?"

Her head fell back onto the pillow with her mouth dropping open and when his dick slid out, he saw more sticky wetness spilling from her slit. He sank back in again hitting the side of her walls. The bed was bouncing with his thrusts. Yani's eyes went back to watch their joining.

"Oh shit…Yani…ah fuck girl…I love you…"

"Erik…"

"Say my name again."

"Erik."

He groaned as he slammed into her hard to punctuate the pleasure he received hearing his real name drip from her lips like honey.

"Erik…love…you feel so good. Making my pussy feel so good…God!"

"I see you squirtin' baby. I see it!"

Yani's legs shook even as Erik pressed down on her thighs to keep them flat on the bed.

"You tryna make me nut right now? Huh?"

He dug in her deeper and she took it like he knew she could.

Forcing her onto her hands and knees, he made her face the wall mirror so he could enjoy hitting it from the back and watching her face while he did it.

"All night, baby," he whispered.

All night indeed.

Every position.

Every nasty word he could think of in six languages.

Yani was panting, screaming into the sheets, squirting and cumming from every angle he could twist her into. Front. Back. Side. Diagonal. He held off from ejaculating, wanting to marinate in her juices for as long as he could, trying to savor and remember every moment of that night with her in their bed.

"Ah…baby…'bout to make a big mess…"

"Please!"

She held her breasts, her fingers circling her areolas.

"Wish I could suck milk out them titties again."

His head dropped forward and his right hand clutched her left breast and held it.

"These big titties…"

"Cum in my pussy, Erik."

His eyes narrowed looking down at her face.

"Want me to cum in your pussy, baby?"

"Yes."

He moved slow, so slow that her legs wrapped around his waist to get more friction from him.

"Tell me you love me again," he begged.

Yani clutched onto his back, her harsh pants tingling his ears. He knew that look and reaction from her. She was at the tip of her orgasm. A large one.

Her big eyes looked up at him as she clung to him, the look on her face taking him back to the first time they ever made love.

"Erik!"

"Yes, baby. I'm here."

"Erik…God…!"

Her voice hitched and Erik froze with her as her vaginal walls quivered against his length.

He couldn't breathe.

Tears slipped down her face.

"I love you, Erik. I want you here with me forever—"

Her head fell back as her pussy spasmed tight.

"Erik! Erik!"

"I'm cumming with you! Goddamit I'm cumming so fucking hard!"

There was no shame in his yelling out loud. Every hard spurt into her pussy made him yell out her name and how much he loved her. She only clung to his body as all of her softness pressed into the hardness of his body. When he felt the last of his semen leaving him, he bit into her shoulder and squeezed her tight. His toes cramped up and didn't want to let her go.

Their bodies cooled with the hot sweat evaporating from their skin.

Pulling her on top of him, Erik cradled Yani in his arms until she needed to go pee. He listened to her take a quick shower before she returned to his embrace.

"All night, remember?" she whispered to him.

"I remember. But a quick respite."

He shifted down until his head was on her stomach.

Yani whispered how much she loved and needed him until he fell asleep cradled in her arms.

###

Sydette's crying woke him up.

"She's probably having a bad dream," Yani said.

Erik shifted and Yani pushed him back on the bed.

"I'll take care of her. I get back and yuh give me some more."

Her eyes twinkled.

Jumping off the bed, she pulled on her panties and threw on one of his t-shirts.

"Big nipples poking through," he said grabbing his dick.

She kissed his lips and bounded out of the room.

It was late. If Sydette was up, she'd want to get into bed with them unless Yani could get her back to sleep fast.

He rubbed his belly then scratched his balls waiting for her.

His mind wandered to trivial things until he noticed things were too quiet.

"Yani. Everything okay?"

His hand swiped the security cam feed and he immediately sat upright. There was nothing there, which was impossible because he should see an image of Yani and Sydette…

Erik slid his hand to his bedstand drawer and pulled out his Glock. He slipped his loungers on and crept to the door.

The hallway was empty.

He checked Sydette's room. It was empty. He checked the hall bathroom and Klaue's bedroom on the far end of the house.

Easing toward the living room, Erik noticed a light pop on. He stepped into that light and saw Huntsman sitting on the couch with Sydette on his lap, his own Glock pressed into her little chest, his other free hand covering her mouth. Across from him standing near Klaue's wall of African masks was Shipley strong-arming Yani with his weapon pressed into her temple. His left hand fondled Yani's nipple.

Neal stepped into view with an AK-15 pointed at Erik.

"Now see, you shouldn't have been here, Killmonger," Huntsman said.

"Let them go," Erik hissed, keeping his eyes on Sweet Pea who had big shiny tears in her scared eyes.

"No. We can't do that. It's too bad though. Now they get to die with you."

Chapter 27 Here

###

Tag List:

@fd-writes @soufcakmistress @cherrystainedlipsbaby @tclaybon @thadelightfulone

@allhailqueennel @bartierbakarimobisson @cpwtwot @shookmcgookqueen @yoyolovesbucky

@raysunshine78 @the-illllest @terrablaze514 @l-auteuse @amirra88 @jimizwidow @janelledarling

@chaneajoyyy @sweetestdream92 @purple-apricots @blackpinup22 @hennessystevens-udaku

@scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @bugngiz @stariamrry @honeytoffee @meilintheempressofdreams

@tyees @eye-raq @writerbee-ffs @chocolatedream30

#wet sugar #killmonger #killmonger fanfiction #erik stevens #n'jadaka #klaue #black panther fanfiction #uzumaki rebellion's pantherverse

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shawnpetermuffins · 5 years

Text

In Case You Didn't Know

(Based off In Case You Didn't Know by Brett Young)

Summary: Shawn's so in love with you, but he doesn't know how to say it.

A/n: this is all over the place, theres time jumps and flashbacks and no real distinction between them, so yeah. I actually really like this song and I might end up writing some more stories based off songs, so let me know if you want that.

Requested: no

Warnings: just fluff

***

I can't count the times / I almost said what's on my mind / but I didn't

She's sleeping soundly on the couch, head laying on the arm rest, blanket up to her shoulders. She's absolutely beautiful, I think to myself. Her hair falls messily in her face, lips parted with a soft snore, and even though she's covered, I know her arms are wrapped around her middle in an attempt to keep warm in this arctic apartment of mine. I make a mental note to turn on the heater after I take her up to bed. She couldn’t even make it through half of the movie before her eyes became heavy, and if I was interested in watching the movie, I wouldn’t have even noticed, but I was watching her the whole time. It’s the first time I’ve been able to see her this way, completely exhausted from studying for her exams, hair a mess, face bare and slightly red and blotchy from stress crying.

I want so badly to wake her sleeping figure and tell her to just quit, come on the road with me for the second leg of tour. I’ll take care of everything; I’ll take care of her. Anything she wants, it’s hers, no questions asked. But I can’t tell her that. Because no matter how stressed she is now, I know it doesn’t change how incandescently happy she is when she talks about her favorite class, her favorite professor. The way she talks about all the things she’s going to change when she finishes school.

Just the other day / wrote down all the things I’d say / but I couldn’t / I just couldn’t

Being with her only a few months, eight to be exact, I keep finding myself refraining from telling her how I feel. And I know that being on tour for six out of the eight months we’ve been together is definitely taking a toll on her, and me too. I’m never here when she needs me, and to see her the way she is right now, I know that I can’t keep these feelings from her much longer.

Because if she’s crying over a test that she’s about to take when I am here, I’m scared to know what she cries about when I’m not. Does she cry about me? About me not being here? When I left before, she held in the tears - so did I - but we’d only been together a month. Maybe she didn’t want to seem too attached. I know I didn’t, but Brian knows how much leaving her put me in this week long funk. I called and texted her constantly until I realized that doing that only made it even harder to be away from her. So I calmed a bit, not by choice, but by necessity.

Seeing her sleeping so peacefully, now curled in my sheets, hugging my pillow, I can’t help but smile. I could write a million songs just about this moments alone, and that’s exactly what I go back to the living room to do. To write yet another song about the girl in my bed, hoping and praying that she’ll still be there come daybreak.

Baby I know that you’ve been wondering / mmm, so here goes nothing / in case you didn’t know / baby I’m crazy ‘bout you

Sheets of paper litter the top of the piano, the coffee table, literally any surface that was once clear isn't now. I'm scribbling out a new lyric, and start strumming the melody that's been stuck in my head since she fell asleep next to me.

My mind is a jumbled mess. She has me feeling every possible emotion and I can't convey it in just one song. So every new idea gets written down and I hope I'll find a place for it in another song later. I'm going crazy, my mind working faster than my hand can write, and the song doesn't sound right with the guitar riff, but then it doesn't sound right with the piano. It's all wrong. None of it is good enough for her and I need it to be good enough.

And I would be lying if I said that I could live this life without you / even though / I don't tell you all the time / You had my heart a long, long time ago / in case you didn't know

I know it hasn't even been a year and I sound like a love sick puppy. And that if you ask anyone that doesn't know me personally, they'd say that this relationship is all for show. That I'm doing it for the publicity. That she's getting paid. None of it's true.

She's everything I have ever wanted. Ever needed. And its so hard for me to think back to even just nine months ago. I wonder how I did anything before her. How did I cope with my anxiety when she wasn't there coaxing me through it, lulling me back to reality and not the fucked up place my mind always wandered to?

If I can't think back to nine months ago, before she became my everything, how am I supposed to look forward and not see her in every possible situation that I could be put it?

The way you look tonight / that second glass of wine / that did it, mmm

Dinner at her apartment is everything. Except she won't let me actually cook. She's scared I'll burn the building down. Which, to be fair, could very well happen. So I'm only allowed to cut things, and of course pour her wine. She's stirring the rice while I sit at the little bar area, head resting in my hand while I stare lovingly at her. Her cheeks are slightly pink from both the heat from the stove and from the glass of red she's sipping from.

"You're staring," she says softly, and looks over at me.

I clear my throat and look down at my half empty glass, "Sorry. Can't help it. You're just so pretty."

She looked down at her outfit, and squinted skeptically at me. "Jeans and a two-sizes-too-big flannel? Oh yeah, I'm sure I look real cute," she replies sarcastically, with a disbelieving eye roll.

"You do," I say, matter-of-factly. "With you hair pulled up like that," I gesture to pony tail that was currently falling because she didn't wrap the rubber band around enough. "And your eyes just being as beautiful and bright as ever. How could I not stare at you forever?"

This causes her to become even more red, if that's possible, and I pull out my phone, swiftly snapping a picture of her because she is just so pretty and I want to see her like this forever.

"Stop it!" She whines, turning away from me.

"But you look so cute," I say, turning my phone around so she can see the vibrant blush on her cheeks.

She just shakes her head and takes another sip. I can't help but watch the way her lips curve around the lip of the glass, and my whole body tingles at the promise of those lips touching mine later.

There was something 'bout that kiss/ girl it did me in / got me thinking / I've been thinking

I pull her body close to mine when she puts the dishes in the sink. "Thank you for tonight," I mumble into her shoulder.

She hums and her hands cover mine on her stomach. "You're welcome bub. So glad you could make some time for a meal this week. I was starting to think you didn't eat," she says teasingly.

I manage a small apology, pressing my lips to the soft skin of her collar bone. I know I've been literally everywhere but with her this week and it's been killing me. But even just a night like this was enough to make me forget about all my stress up to this point.

She turns her head to face me and plays with my currently overfluffy curls. "I adore you, my little rockstar," she whispered into my hair.

I look up at her with a sleepy smile and hooded eyes. I only have a second to react before her lips press to mine in a soft, passionate kiss. And all I can think is that I could stay this way for the rest of my life and never get tired of the feel of her lips.

One of those things that I've been feeling / mmm, it's time you hear 'em

I'm still watching her as we wash the dishes together. She's washing, I'm drying. It's the simplest of systems, but it's also so domesticated and it makes me sad knowing that I can't give her that domestic life one day. Husband a d kids, nice suburban home to come to every night. I'm traveling too often to give her that simple life that she so desperately deserves, even though she's told me before that she doesn't care about that.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asks after washing the last plate, handing it to me. I smile sheepishly at the way she's leaning against the counter, one leg crossed in front of the other, hands playing with the neck of her shirt.

I finish drying the plate before I speak. I place the towel I was holding on the counter and reach for her hands. "Can I tell you something, pumpkin?"

You've got all of me / I belong to you / yeah you're my everything / in case you didn't know

"Anything," she squeezes my hands reassuringly.

I can't look into her eyes, so I stare at our linked hands and sigh contently at the feel of her small, soft, cold hands in my large, calloused, hot hands. I don't know why telling her this is so hard for me, it shouldn't be. I write about love all the time.

But I've never felt it. Not like this. Not when my heart feels like it's literally about to burst out of my chest when she smiles at me. Not when I can't help but stumble on my way to her because I'm staring so hard that I trip over my own feet. Not when an interviewer asks me what my favorite thing about going home is and my immediate thought is her. She's my home. Whether we live together or not. She's it. She's my everything and that's fucking terrifying. I never thought I would become this dependent on someone else.

"Bub, what's going on inside that beautiful head of yours?" She asks, breaking me from my own thoughts, trying to catch my eye.

I swallow the lump forming in my throat and finally meet her intense gaze. If I had to decipher what that look meant, I'd say she was looking at me the same way I look at her. With that endless amount of love, lust, compassion, and adoration that my expression hopefully conveys. Why she chose me of all the people to be with, I'll never know. But she did. So I say it.

"I love you," I finally manage to say, but it's so low I don't even know if she heard me.

She doesn't respond for a while and I'm searching her face for any sign that it'll give me, saying that I crossed a line, that we weren't ready. But just as I'm opening my mouth to apologize, her lips cover mine, tongue slipping effortlessly into my mouth. And I hold her body tight against me, so tight I don't think she can breathe properly, but she makes no move to leave my arms and I have no intention of letting her go. So I hold her while we kiss under the harsh light of her kitchen and I let out a low whimper when she goes to ultimately pull away.

"Say it again," she begs.

And I do, kissing her cheek. "I love you." Her nose, "I love you." Her forehead, "I love you." And finally, once again. Her lips. "I love you."

She sighs, eyes fluttering shut while her fingers trace my jaw and then the curves of my mouth, my nose. "I love you, too." She kisses both of my eyelids before she says it again. "I love you so much."

***

Tags: @curlyshawny @shawns-badreputation @anamariel2301 @bbellbagel @turtoix @tomshufflepuff @ivegotparticulartaste

I've literally been writing this since February and it's not even the way I wanted it 🤷‍♀️ but I hope you guys enjoyed reading it. A little fluff to counteract with the angst I gave y'all on Wednesday.

Like, reblog, and leave feedback!! 💙

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes one shot #shawn peter raul #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes smut #smfsource

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thekatthatbarks · 7 years

Note

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?” “Don’t you ever do that again!” KAKASAKU!! both or just one, it's up to you waifu, BUT I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOU!!

Oh, my lovely sweet Meli! I tweaked the prompt a bit, hope you don’t mind. I hope you like it and I LOVE YOU, CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF YOU, MY DEAR WIFE!

This was inspired by Die Alone - Ingrid Michaelson

Out of Order

Also on ao3 and ffn

“Kakashi?”The grip that was suddenly on his sleeve was tight and he could see the whiteof her knuckles under the street lamp. He looked down at her to see her eyeswere still filled with that built up adrenaline mixed with fear that usuallyfollowed hard missions like the one they had just been on. Her voice had beensure as she looked up at him, even if it did shake a bit.

He knewwhat she was asking without her having to say anything and he simply gave her anod before following her to her apartment. They went through the window, theirfeet landing with soft thuds in her bedroom. He’d barely closed the window andturned to her when she fisted her hands in his flak jacket. She seemed at aloss for words as she stared resolutely at his chest. “I just – I just need tofeel something.” She looked up at him with her eyes pleading and he knew rightthen that he’d do anything she asked of him. “Please, Kakashi. I – we don’tever have to talk about it.”

He felthis chest tighten. He knew what she was asking for. It wasn’t unusual for ashinobi to feel this way, to ask their friends of this. It was something thatwasn’t spoken about, but happened often. Something many shinobi did to just cope. He wasn’t surprised Sakura had asked him. Eventhough she had fought through a war, she still didn’t have that many missions underher belt that were on par with the horrors they’d seen tonight. He wondered fora second if she’d asked others too. Naruto? Genma? Maybe Ino? But when helooked into her eyes and saw the slight nervousness there, he knew she hadn’t.Not that it mattered, it wasn’t any of his business if she had.

Shelooked lost, scared but not of anyone. He’d been there before, was there at the moment. That feeling of wanting to forgetwhat you’d seen or done, but the memories haunt you on a cruel replay in yourhead. The sickness in your gut and how you wanted to feel nothing but at thesame time the thought of being numb was just as terrifying. He hated seeing herthis way, it tore at him. It didn’t seem right for Sakura. The woman who wasn’tjust an ex-student or even teammate, but a friend. Someone who took care of himwhen he was injured or sick. The woman who smiled at him while she teased him.Who threw her head back when she laughed, her green eyes bright and hershoulders shaking. She was someone he cared about. He didn’t want her to feelanything but the happiness he could always look forward to seeing in her.

Therewas more relief than surprise in her face when he pulled down his mask. Hershoulders relaxed and she instantly brought her hands up to the back of hishead. Her fingers gripped at his hair almost painfully as she pulled him downto her. The kiss wasn’t tender and gentle. It was desperate, harsh, anddemanding. There was an unkindled passion there that madeeach touch from her feel hot against his skin. She was unforgiving as she toreat his clothes and pulled him backwards toward her bed. He tried not to stumbleas he stripped her of hers all the while still kissing her. They fell to themattress in a tangle of limbs and desperation.

***

Kakashiwas both surprised and not surprised that Sakura held true to her word and theynever talked about it. He knew Sakura wasn’t one to go back on what she said,but she was also someone who didn’t hold back any of her thoughts and feelings.This time she did, though, and their relationship went back to the way it wasbefore. For the most part.

Thatfirst night started the ball rolling for this new aspect in their relationship. They again, never talked about it, but if one needed theother, there was this understanding between them. No questions were asked, theysimply opened their arms for each other. At first, it was for reasons like thefirst night. Missions gone wrong, friends who’d died in the field, a lostpatient. But soon, it was for any reason whatsoever. A long day, boredom, just because.

Kakashiwas becoming to understand they were something akin to friends withbenefits, though he hated to think of it that way. It sounded sodistant and they weren’t. They weren’t in a relationship, though, and it wasthe closest description. It was a very good friendship andhad very good benefits. But Kakashi still couldn’t admitthat phrasing even to himself. He could feel something else there, even fromthe first night. So, it wasn’t just about the benefits.

Thatleft him back where he started, though. What were theydoing?

***

Kakashibit his tongue back as Tsunade stared at him down with pleading eyes. The utterrefusal was on the tip of his tongue but he was fighting it. She wasn’t goingto force him to do it, she had only asked. But when he asked her what wouldhappen if he refused, the sadness in her eyes as she replied she would stay onuntil Naruto was ready decided it for him. Not many people knew, but he onlysaid yes out of respect for her not because it was anhonor. She had never wanted it – not that hewanted it either – and she wasn’t as young as she looked. She wastired and if anyone deserved to live in peace for the rest of their lives, itwas Tsunade.

Thegenuine relief on her face made him feel a bit better about it, though he couldfeel this sinking dread in his gut. She pulled out sake for both of them andgave his shoulder a comforting pat. “It won’t be long until Naruto’s ready.It’ll be better for him to follow after you, anyways.”

Kakashisimply nodded in agreement and drank with her. Naruto wasn’t ready to be Hokage yet. He still needed more time tolearn everything and Kakashi would make sure he got it. He supposed it wasanother reason he had said yes. It still only made him slightly better aboutthe situation.

***

He’dgone to Sakura’s as soon as he’d left Tsunade’s office. She’d been washingdishes at her sink when he’d slipped through her window and came up behind her.Even though she didn’t turn around, he was sure she’d known he was there. Whenhe pulled down his mask and wrapped his arms around her waist, she leaned backinto him as she dried her hands with a red rag.

Hishead fell to her shoulder and she placed her hands over his on her stomach. Sheasked him softly as her thumbs stroked across his skin soothingly, “Are youhungry?”

Hesighed and his grip on her tightened. “No.”

She lethim hold her for a while longer, one of her hands coming up to comb gentlythrough his hair. Then, she turned around in his arms and locked her armsaround his neck. She stared at him for a minute, searching his eyes like theycould tell her all his secrets. But she didn’t ask what was wrong, like shedidn’t every night, and leaned up to kiss him. He kissed her back, pulling hercloser trying to get that warm feeling in his heart to grow even further. Hertouches made him feel like she was slowly mending him, healing him like themedic she was.

Beforethe kiss could get heated, he broke away from her mouth and kissed her cheekdown to her neck, resting his head on her shoulder again. He sighed and toldher, “Tsunade asked me to be her successor.”

Sakuraturned her head towards him and he could see the shock on her face when helifted his head up. She didn’t congratulate him and he hadn’t expected her to.Sakura understood, she’d always understood him. He didn’tneed to tell her anything. She’d asked him before how he felt about beingHokage and he’d explained then all the reasons why he would never want to doit. Her face was sympathetic as she cupped his cheek. “Kakashi…”

Heclosed his eyes and leaned into her touch. He answered her unspoken question,though was sure she knew, “I said yes.”

She wasgiving him a soft smile when he opened his eyes again. She met his eyes andtold him, “I am proud of you. Does that help at all?”

Kakashismiled back at her, feeling that small spark of warmth in his chest.“Maybe a little.”

Shenodded and her hand moved to the back of his head to tangle in his hair. Shepulled him closer to her and whispered, “Well, I have other ways of making youfeel better.” She kissed him and Kakashi smirked against her lips as she ledhim backwards to her bedroom.

***

Sakuralaid against him in her bed with the sheets tangled and hanging off of thecorners. He was drawing lazy circles on her back while he tried not to thinkabout the upcoming weeks. He could already feel the stress of it threateninghim in the back of his mind.

Sakurasighed on his chest and it was like she could read his thoughts. “It won’t beso bad, Kakashi. Naruto just needs a couple years at the most.”

Hehummed and replied, “I suppose so. Still doesn’t mean I have any idea how tohave a desk job.”

Sakurasnorted, knowing it was one of the main reasons Kakashi never wanted to beHokage. He hated paperwork for one and he also didn’t want to have to send outshinobi to protect the village while he sat in a chair all day. She lifted herhead and looked at him with a shrug. “You know, I could always help you out.Shizune is going to follow Tsunade when she retires, right? I could be youradvisor.”

Theoffer was tempting. Ignoring how wonderful it would be to just have Sakuraaround all the time, she was also smart and apprenticing underTsunade allowed her to pick up things about how the Hokage’s office was run. But… Kakashi smiled at her, his hand coming up to run hisfingers down her hair. “That wouldn’t be a good idea.”

Sakurapouted, but rested her head back on his chest. “Why not?”

“Itwould be bad if people, particularly the Council, foundout about –“ Kakashi paused, trying to find the right word and settled on,“this. It wouldn’t be good for either of us. You would be accusedof sleeping with the Hokage to get political gains like being an advisor. Iwould be accused of abusing my power and would probably be asked to resign.Then, we would have to leave the seat to Naruto and who knows what would happen then? He’s not ready as he is now. His first order would probably be an Ichiraku stand on every corner.”

Sakurachuckled and offered instead, “Okay, how about Shikamaru? He wants to beNaruto’s advisor, so this would be a good learning experience for him.”

Kakashihummed in reply with a small smile. He had wondered how she would react to thewords actually being said out loud, to acknowledge what was going on between them.But she hadn’t so much as flinched. She had even hugged him tighter inresponse, not arguing with what he had said. The obvious solution was tostop, but neither of them said it even though they wereboth smart enough to think it.

WhenKakashi didn’t give her any more of an answer, she looked up at him coyly and teased,“I mean, you’re not sleeping with him too, are you?”

Kakashilaughed and leaned down to kiss her. “No, Sakura-chan.” Onlyyou.

***

Kakashihadn’t been celebrating it anyway, but the day of his inauguration was furtherdampened by some unfortunate news. Takeo Kurosaki had died in thefield. Kakashi didn’t know him personally, had only met him once atthe hospital. But there was a reason the name struck a certain cord with him.He’d been the first medic Sakura personally trained. He’d been studying underher for almost ten years now and was Sakura’s most trusted medic.

Sakurahad been there at the beginning, had actually stuck by his side most of thenight. But she’d been called away earlier on an emergency and now it was clearfor what. Kakashi made sure everyone was distracted enough, before slipping awayfrom the festivities.

Like hehad expected, when he got to his apartment, Sakura was balled up on his bedwith her face buried in a pillow. She didn’t look up at him until he had shedhis robes and flak jacket, the sound of them hitting the floor with a softthud. Her face was red and her eyes were puffy as she reached a hand out forhim. It tore at his heart and he didn’t waste any time in joining her on thebed. He took her in his arms and pulled down his mask to kiss her. Her lipswere chap and he could smell the salt of her tears as a few more ran down herface. He wiped them away with his thumbs before kissing her wet cheeks.

Sakurakissed him on the lips again before burying her face in the crook of his neckand wrapping herself around him. She told him with a shaky voice, “Just holdme.”

Kakashidid. He held her for what seemed like hours, watching through the window as thesun fell in the sky and the moon appeared through the dark clouds. She didn’tsay much as she silently cried, but he caught words every now and again. Not even twenty-two…My apprentice… He didn’t offer her anywords of comfort, knowing anything he could say would be empty promises andlies that everything would be okay. He hadn’t appreciated when those words weresaid to him when he was younger. Like they were a script to say to every personin mourning. It was impersonal. So, he just held her close, his grip tight whilehe peppered kisses across her skin.

Sheeventually wore herself out and fell asleep. She was heavy against him, butKakashi didn’t mind the weight. She slept for hours without moving a muscle andwhen Kakashi would drift off and open his eyes again, she was still fastasleep. Even when morning finally came and Kakashi had put off going to hisoffice for two hours already, she was still sleeping. Henever made a move to leave, though. He just couldn’t bear to leave her there towake up alone.

Sheeventually woke up an hour later, giving him a sleepy smile. When she glancedat the clock, she sighed and turned back to him reluctantly. “Kakashi, you areprobably three hours late now.”

Heshrugged, not telling her he probably would’ve stayed there all day. She knew.After rolling her eyes at him, she kissed him sweetly on the lips and in a way,it was different from all the other kisses they had shared. It was softer,gentler, and filled with a certain affection Kakashi found hard to place.

Then,she poked him lightly on the chest. “Go to work, Kakashi. I’ll be fine.”

Hesighed, still not wanting to leave her, but nodded and got out of bedunenthusiastically. She gave him one last kiss before falling back into thesheets.

Theimage of her curled up in his bed with a sleepy smile stuck with him all day.

***

BeingHokage wasn’t as bad as he’d thought. He still wasn’thappy with the job, but he tried to not let it bother him. Sakura repeatedlytold him it would just be worse if he let himself feel that way. Hedidn’t wear the robes or the hat. They were draped safely in the corner of hisoffice on a coat rack, never to be used in the foreseeable future, at least forhim. Sakura had wanted him to have something, though, soshe had taken it upon herself to get him a gray flak jacket designed withRokudaime sewn in the back. If it had been anyone else, hestill wouldn’t have worn it. But he supposed he liked that look in Sakura’seyes when she saw him in it. I am proud of you. So, hesupposed being the Hokage wasn’t that bad.

His fewweeks of being Hokage had been more than uneventful so far, until today. It’dbeen ridiculous, really. A lapse in judgement that he had regretted the wholeday just knowing it would come back to him. Which it did,in the form of Sakura walking into his office with a smirk on her face. Sheclosed the door behind her and strolled over to his desk to drop off paperworkfrom the hospital.

He knewwhat she was really there for, but wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction ofbringing it up himself. So, he asked her casually, “Good afternoon,Sakura-chan. How are you?”

Sheleaned forward with her hands on his desk as her smile widened. “Pretty goodconsidering I heard some great gossip earlier.”

Heignored his stomach flipping out of nervousness and faked nonchalance, pickingup some random papers and pretending to read them. “Ah, is that so? Well, asyou can see, I’m a very busy man…”

Sakurarolled her eyes at him and rounded the desk. She pushed him back with a lightpoke at his chest and perched herself on his desk right in front of him. Then,plucked the papers from his hands and dropped them nearby her out of sight. Sheraised an eyebrow at him, unable to make her smile go away. “Busy throwingsenbon at random jounin?”

Kakashileaned back in his chair, trying not to think about how lovely she lookedsitting there on top of his desk. He shrugged. “Mah, I was just keeping Genmaon his toes. He’s always playing with them, you’d think he would’ve been ableto dodge it.”

Sakurascoffed, “He had a slit right across his cheek.”

Kakashicocked an eyebrow at her. “Oh, did he go to you to heal such a small cut?”

“No.”Sakura grinned, and used one of her feet to drag his chair closer to her. “Buthe was with Raido when they brought him in from a spar that left him with acouple of cracked ribs. He made a sly comment to me about myoverprotective Hokage and then told me what happened.”

Kakashisighed and his hands subconsciously came up to Sakura’s legs as he avoided hereyes. He had overreacted. Genma was known for his ways with women and it wasn’tunusual to hear him talking about them, no matter how inappropriate it was. Butwhen Kakashi heard him make a comment about Sakura, something hadsnapped in him and he’d acted out of reflex. He’d apologized after Genma calledhim out on his bullshit lie that his finger had slipped.They’d always been friends so he knew there weren’t any hard feelings. He’djust been worried about it getting to Sakura, who was now sitting in front of himpractically glowing.

Sheleaned forward and teased him, placing her feet at the edge of his chair, “Youwere jealous.”

“Wasnot,” he argued back childishly as he scowled at her, his fingers stopping thetrail they were making up and down the back of her legs.

Sakurarolled her eyes at him, not believing it. Then, smiled widely. “But Genma? Really, Kakashi?”

Kakashihooked his hands behind her knees and made her fall into his lap where she wasstraddling him. She didn’t seem bothered by the change and laughed lightly, herhands coming up to his neck to play with the ends of his hair. He denied itagain, meeting her eyes, “Not jealous.”

Shepulled down his mask and kissed him on one cheek then the other. “Good, becauseyou don’t have any reason to be.”

Hecaptured her lips and could feel her smile against him. She kissed him back andhe pulled her closer, one hand still gripping her thigh and the other aroundher waist. The longer it went on, the more heated it got and he had thisinexplicable desire to feel more of her. But when his hand slipped under hershirt to feel her soft skin, Sakura broke the kiss and looked at him with hercheeks flushed. “It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to have sex in youroffice.”

“Ithink it would make things a lot less boring around here,” he argued, kissingdown her neck.

“Anotherreason I could never be your advisor.”

Hemoved to kiss her lips again and she smiled at him as he said, “I’vereconsidered. I think you should start tomorrow.”

Sheshook her head and leaned forward to whisper in his ear, “I don’t think so, Kakashi-sama.”

Kakashifought down a shiver and complained, “Oh, please don’t make that word sounddirty. I have to hear it all day.”

Shelaughed and kissed him one more time before disappearing in a puff of smoke. Hehadn’t even seen her make the hand signs and only had half a mind to pull hismask back up before someone came in through his doors.

***

Kakashiwould rather go to one of their apartments to relax after hismission, but he just followed the direction of Sakura’schakra leading him to the bar in town that the shinobi liked to frequent. He’dspotted her sitting at the bar by herself when he walked in and was about to goover to her when he got intercepted by someone that wanted to talk to theirHokage.

Kakashimay not like the job, but it didn’t mean he was going to blow it off. Internallysighing, he turned to the shinobi and smiled at them. It was just small talk,something about seeing Naruto take his place while he was gone and how wellhe’d done. Kakashi had already known he would do fine and had heard similarreports from Shikamaru, but it was nice to hear it from someone else too.

Hezoned out of the conversation, though, as he watched a jounin approach Sakuraand lean on the bar beside her. His ears picking up their conversation. Hedidn’t catch what the man had asked her, but Sakura’s reply was short andclipped. “I’m here with someone.”

Kakashicould hear the lie in her voice, but only because he knew her so well. Even ifthe man did believe her, he didn’t seem to care and his hand came up to strokehis fingers down her arm. Kakashi’s eyes narrowed at him and he tried to notlet his annoyance show on his face as the man told her, “I’m sure they wouldn’tmind if I stole you away.”

Sakuraleaned away from him and brushed his fingers away with her hand, taking a drinkfrom her glass and telling him, “I’m not available, so I suggest you leave mealone.”

Heshrugged at her and gave her a smile that he probably thought was very charming.“I don’t mind.”

Sakura’seyebrow twitched and she gave him a deadly smile that was a clear warning for anyone that remotely knew her. But thejounin clearly didn’t know her as he didn’t take the hint to stop, reaching outagain for her arm. She tilted her head and it was almost in Kakashi’sdirection, making him wonder if she realized he was there. “Do you like thefeeling of random senbon being thrown at you with deadly accuracy?” Yes, she definitely knew he was there and was taking the opportunity to tease him.

The manlooked at her confused and she shrugged. “Well, never mind that. Really, theperson you should be worried about if you touch me again isme.” She casually grabbed his hand from her arm and benthis fingers back, making the man wince and gasp as his knees buckled at the bar.He tried to pull away from her, but her grip didn’t let him and she leaned towardhim to whisper, “Because I do mind.”

Shedidn’t spare him another glance as she finally released him and turned back toher drink. He didn’t push his luck this time and left as soon as he could.Kakashi fought down a chuckle and looked back to the man talking to him – whowas still chatting away, completely oblivious to his attention going elsewhere– then politely excused himself.

Sakura didn’tshow any surprise when he came up behind her and put his hands on her arms. Sheleaned back and looked up at him with a sweet smile. He bent down and kissedher on her diamond seal, not paying any mind to the people around them. “Missme?”

Sakuraturned around and got down from her stool to throw her arms around his neck.Kakashi caught her with a chuckle and she replied near his ear, “You have noidea.”

Shehugged him for a second longer and then sat back on her stool. Her handgrabbing his and pulling him towards her. “Join me while I finish my drink?”

Kakashisat beside her, feeling less tired as she smiled at him and chatted on aboutanything remotely interesting that had happened while he’d been away. He toldher about his incredibly boring trip to Suna where he’dhad to stay for six weeks going over diplomatic negotiations and treaties. Hishand had fallen absentmindedly to her thigh under the counter and as theconversation wore on, it inched closer and closer to the hem of her skirt.

Sakurahadn’t made any comment on it until his hand slipped under her skirt. She put her hand over his, but didn’t make him pull away. She smiledat him with a bit of warning in her eyes. “Kakashi.

Hesimply hummed in response and stroked his thumb across her skin towards herinner thigh. “Hmm?”

Sakurabit her lip as she met his eyes and he could see the want there causing a coil of heat in his stomach. Without looking away from him she pulled somemoney from her holster to throw on the counter. Kakashi couldn’t even rememberif it was her or him that had made the hand signs to transport them back to herapartment. He was too distracted by her hands as she pushed him up against thewall, yanking down his mask and slanting her lips over his. She made quick workwith his vest and shirt, throwing them to the floor carelessly. He slipped hershirt off and she shivered in his arms as his hands pressed against her warmskin.

Theytumbled to the bed, still wrapped around each other, wandering hands trying todo away with every piece of fabric between them. Sakura sighed against him as hismouth trailed kisses down her neck to her chest. Her fingers were tangled inhis hair and one of her legs hooked around his waist, pulling him closer toher. Kakashi couldn’t seem to get enough of her and it felt like it had beenso long since he’d seen her, even though it had just beena few weeks. He brought his lips back to hers and told her, “I missed you.”

Shegave him a breathless laugh and her mouth kissed along his jaw then down hisneck. “Kami, don’t ever leave for that long again.”

Kakashi smiled and moved his hand underneathher so he could feel her arch into him when he kissed the soft skin around hernipple. “Kashi.” Her moaning his name filled him with a warmththat was addictive and he went back to her mouth to capture the sound, histhumb replacing his mouth on her nipple and flicking it.

Shekissed him back and he groaned against her. Then, planted kisses down her neckagain, taking his time with light nips and bites. She held him close, herfingers combing and tugging in his hair. His hand left her breast to snake downto her waist and she whispered near his ear, “Kakashi?”

Helifted his head to meet her eyes and one of her hands moved to trail down hischest. She looked at him hesitantly. “That first night…I just want you to know…”She held his face in her hand and bit her lip as she glanced at his lips beforecontinuing, “I wouldn’t have asked that of anyone else.”

Hesmiled at her, feeling his heart tighten in his chest and he leaned down tokiss her nervousness away. He didn’t say anything in response, but she couldfeel his reply in the way he touched her and how his lips left marks across herskin. There was a desperation that night that held a very different meaningfrom the first.

***

Theydid things out of order. Most people got in a relationship, had sex, then movedin together. But this was just another instance in his life where things didn’tseem to go accordingly to plan. Not that he had any plan whatsoever withSakura, he just let himself fall into step with her following whichever pathshe led him down.

Hehadn’t really moved in with Sakura per se. But he hardlyever stepped foot into his apartment – he had refused to move into the massive Hokageresidence – for anything more than a change of clothes. He knew he hadn’t sleptthere in months. Any time he wasn’t in his office, he was at Sakura’s or atleast with her. He had a few set of clothes hanging in her closet. Even if itwas nearing three in the morning, he slipped in through her window to catch afew hours of sleep with her by his side. So, no, he hadn’t moved in with her,but it was just a step away and he didn’t really see it as that big of leapconsidering.

Thingshad changed over the last year. There wasn’t that uncertainty from before aboutwhat they were doing. It was clear that they had moved into this steadyrelationship from the random nights they would just have sex. They spent mostof their time with each other. They ate together, slept together. If Kakashicouldn’t sneak away from his office for lunch, she would bring him some andthey would eat in his office. When it was late and he was still stuck there,sometimes she would come in to help with the paperwork or simply keep himcompany. He would help patch her up when she came home from missions a littleworse for wear. She’d reach out for him in her sleep to hold her. He cooked forher when he could. She kept a jar of dog treats on top of her fridge for theninken. He held her hand when they would lie on the couch with books.

He wasfalling in love with her or maybe he already had been before all of this. Thetime frame wasn’t really important. But the sudden realization of it had himstumbling trying to figure out if he should tell her and then of course, heshould but then how?

Surprisinglywith all his anxiety over it, it came naturally.

She’dbeen nestled between his legs with her back resting against him as he leaned ona tree. They were by a small river near the training grounds and Sakura hadmade them a picnic earlier before stealing him away from his office. She waswarm against him and her skin soft as he mindlessly stroked his fingers alongher arms. He could smell the honey in her shampoo and breathe in her scent. Hefelt so content with her there and wished he’d never have to leave.

They’dbeen sitting in a comfortable silence for a while, just listening to the soundsof the small animals and the running of the water in front of them. He brokethe quiet moment with his heart skipping out of rhythm as he spoke a littlenervously, “I never thought I could love anyone.”

Eventhough she hadn’t really been moving in his arms, he could feel her still andwhen she turned to look at him her eyes were wide. He smiled at her and met hereyes. “But now I know I could never love anyone but you. You make me feel likemaybe I won’t die alone.”

Hereyes were glossed over and she smiled at him with the warmest smile he’d everseen on her. She melted his heart when she laughed and pulled his mask down tokiss him sweetly on the lips. “I love you, too,” she told him and it felt likea promise the way she kissed the words into his skin.

***

“Dismissed.”Kakashi spared one more look at the team and waved at them with a hand. Each ofthem left at the order, besides a certain shinobi who stepped forward with atired smile.

Sherounded the desk and Kakashi turned towards her with a soft look as she all butfell into his arms. He pulled down his mask before kissing her on the forehead.“Sakura, you’re dead on your feet. Go home. I’ll be there soon.”

Sheignored him and made herself comfortable on his lap, nuzzling her face againsthis neck. She mumbled sleepily, “I think I’ll stay here a while.”

Kakashismiled with a shake of his head as he turned back to his desk and tugged hismask back up. Knowing her, she would stay there sound asleep until he needed toleave. So, he just picked up whatever was next in his large pile of paperworkand let her rest against him.

Shikamarucame in a couple hours earlier with his annoying clipboard that told Kakashi hewas late for meetings. He’d opened the door with a frustrated face but when hiseyes landed on Sakura cuddled against Kakashi, his face softened with a sigh.It wasn’t the first time he’d seen them like that. Sakura had made a habit ofdropping by so often, it wasn’t an unusual sight.

When hegot to Kakashi’s desk, he handed over a paper with a scowl. “The elders havesummoned you for a meeting tomorrow morning. Just skip it.”

Kakashiraised an eyebrow at him. “Mah, if my advisor is telling me to blow it off itmust be pretty bad. What do they want?”

Shikamarurolled his eyes and sighed. He glanced at Sakura meaningfully before lookingback to Kakashi. “I’m assuming it’s about what they discussed last time aboutyou finding a wife.”

It wasKakashi’s turn to sigh this time and he set the paper aside. The elders hadbeen hounding him lately about finding a wife. Some bullshit about leaders withfamilies were more successful and blah, blah, blah.Kakashi hadn’t hidden any of his feelings about thesuggestion the first time they brought it up. It wasn’tthat he was against getting married, but to do it becauseof an order for a position he had never evenwanted? The elders had obviously not seen anything wrongwith it, stuck in their traditional ways and telling him to just pick asuitable woman that would make a good wife to a Hokage. Hehad felt a certain solidarity when Shikamaru had come to his defense and toldthe elders it was inappropriate to ask him of that like they lived inthe waring periods. His loyal advisor had gone on to outline whatpower and control the elders actually had and advised themto not step out of line again. Kakashi had been impressed and more than amusedby the shock on the elders’ faces.

Butthey hadn’t heeded to Shikamaru’s warning and continued todiscuss the benefits of having a wife with Kakashi.Kakashi responded by blatantly ignoring them whenever they came by which led totheir frustrations.

Shikamarunodded to the paper he’d given him. “I wrote up a proposal for a fresh council.It includes all the politics of it and how you have the power to do so, pickingnew members and retiring the old ones out. To avoid having another set of oldgeezers trying to control everything, I think we should make members beelected.”

Kakashipicked the paper up again and read over it in mild surprise. Sakura shiftedagainst him from the movement and wrapped an arm around his torso, grumbling inher sleep. Kakashi spared her a glance before looking back to Shikamaru with acheeky smile. “Mah, Shikamaru, I’m touched you would go through so much troublefor me.”

Shikamarurolled his eyes, but smiled. “The elders have always been more of a nuisancethan anything. If I’m going to be Naruto’s advisor too, I’d rather not have todeal with them.”

“Tootroublesome?” Kakashi guessed with a nod.

“Definitely.”Shikamaru chuckled and gestured to the paper. “Read over it and tell me whatyou think. I left a few suggestions about new council members, thinking itwould be beneficial to have them be people already at power holding jobs. Likethe Director of T&I, a school administrator, and so on.”

Kakashinodded and set the paper down in front of him. “Thank you, Shikamaru.”

Shikamarugave him a small nod, before leaving the office. Kakashi turned his head tolook out the window, mulling the conversation over in his head. He was thinkingthrough possible members when Sakura mumbled, “Told you Shikamaru was a goodchoice for an advisor.”

Onlyslightly surprised that she had been listening, Kakashi nodded in agreement andthen smiled. “I suppose so. You probably would’ve simply intimidated them intosilence by smashing a table with your pinkie finger.”

Sakurapicked her head up and playfully glared at him, smacking him lightly on thechest. “Hey, I’m smart too, you know.”

Helaughed and leaned forward to kiss her cheek. “I know, Sakura-chan.”

Shesmiled and laid her head back on his shoulder. She muttered, “I mean, I woulddo that too, but that’s not all.”

Kakashichuckled in response, but felt a slight anxiety creeping up on him as he askedher, “Were you listening the whole time?”

Sakuraanswered him, knowing what he was really asking, “Ialready knew the elders wanted you to get married.”

Kakashiwent still as she went on without looking up. “Lady Utatane dropped by myoffice a couple weeks ago to persuade me to influence your opinion onmarriage.” She snorted and looked down at her nails, frowning at the dirtunderneath them. “I don’t think they’ve caught on that we’re seeing eachother.”

“Why’sthat?” Kakashi’s brow furrowed and he tried to tone down his annoyance thatthey had stooped to going around his back on the matter. If not, thenwhy would Utatane bother Sakura about it?

“Shesuggested that with my position in the hospital, I must know a fewhonorable women that were suitable for our Hokage.” Sakurascoffed and met his eyes aggravated. “She said it would be best if it was awoman from a powerful clan, but medics havestrong personalities so they would be an okay choice too.”

“Icould sic Shikamaru on her for you?” Kakashi offered just to get her to smile.He didn’t want her to be bothered by what some old geezer thought about herrelationship with him.

Theannoyance in her face broke as she laughed and told him, “Kakashi, Shikamaru isnot one of your ninken. You can’t sic him on people.”

Kakashishrugged. “He doesn’t seem to mind.”

Sakurarolled her eyes fondly at him and laid her head back down on his shoulder, herarms wrapping around his torso. After a minute, she said softly, “I wouldn’tmake you do anything you didn’t want to. You know that, right?”

Kakashifelt his nervousness seep away. Of course, she wouldn’t. He kissed the top of her head and tightened his arms around her. “I know,Sakura.”

She let out a deep breath and he could practicallyfeel her smile against him. They stayed like that for a while and then shepicked up her head suddenly and pointed a finger at him. “But if you marryHinata, I’ll make it to where you never have children,Hatake.”

Kakashilaughed and pulled down his mask before cupping her face and kissing her. “Mah,I have a unique taste in women.” He kissed her cheek. “Like pink hair and fierytempers.” Then, the other cheek. “Green eyes and an adorable laugh.” Lastly,her forehead. “Strength and power.”

When hepulled away, he saw that Sakura had a faint blush on her cheeks. It sent a rushof warmth over him like it always did when he got her to blush. She wasn’t ateenager anymore and didn’t blush at everything, it was actually difficultsometime to get her to blush. But the more affectionate he was with her, thepinker her cheeks got.

Shegave him a soft smile and leaned forward to kiss him on the lips. It was sweetand slow with no rush to it. Kakashi couldn’t help but smile into it and whenshe broke it, she gazed at him warmly and told him, “Let’s go home.”

***

*a year later*

It wasthe night before Naruto’s inauguration and they were lying in bed watching thesun go down through the window. Kakashi hadn’t hated being Hokage as much ashe’d thought he would in the beginning. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t happy topass the hat on to Naruto. Naruto was the one who deserved it, someone who hadstrived and fought all their life to be worthy of the title. It just felt morefitting for Naruto to wear the robes.

Sakurahad on a small white nightgown beside him and he was running his fingers overthe silk as she traced shapes on his chest. “No more early mornings and latenights spent at the office. I bet you’re excited to get back on the missionroster.”

Kakashisighed and leaned his head against hers. “I probably won’t get to go on anyfun missions, though.”

“I’msure they’ll at least give you B ranked missions,” Sakura assured him with achuckle.

Hehummed in reply and turned to kiss her temple. “Mah, at least I’ll have moretime for you.”

Shesmiled and moved more on top of him, her face hovering over his with her hairfalling around them. “Hm, I don’t know. I was just beginning to like coming upwith new ways to sneak you out of the office without Shikamaru noticing.”

Kakashigave her a soft smile and brought a hand up to stroke his thumb across hercheek. “Too bad.”

Shecovered his hand with hers and simply looked down at him with this affectionthat Kakashi didn’t think he’d ever get used to. Kakashi felt warm as he lookedat her, his heart tightening in his chest as he wondered how he could ever getso lucky. It reminded him of something he’d been mulling over for the past fewweeks. He felt nervous about it, how it would come across with the timing, buthe felt like it was the right moment.

“Sakura,”he spoke her name with a warmth in his voice, feeling his heart race in hischest and hoping he didn’t sound as shaky as he felt. “Do you want to getmarried?”

Sakura’seyes widened and she stared at him in surprise. “A-Are youasking me to?”

Kakashireached underneath his pillow for the ring there and held it up for her to see,letting out a deep breath. Her eyes glanced at the ring and then back to him.She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, leaning back to straddle him.Kakashi sat up, making her fall to his lap. He could hear his heart pounding inhis ears and he took her hand in his with shaky fingers. “Haruno Sakura, I amin love with you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. If you’ll haveme, I’d like to spend those days becoming someone worthy of you. Will you marryme?”

Sakuraburst in to tears and she laughed as she threw her arms around his neck.“Yes.” She kissed him and her lips were wet as she plantedkisses all over his face. “I love you so much.”

Kakashifelt thrown off from all the emotions that were rushing over him. He hadexpected to feel something like this, but it was still more than he’d thought.He felt like he might start crying as he let out a breathy laugh and grabbedher hand. She watched with a wide smile as he slipped the ring on to herfinger. She whispered with a wide smile as she looked down at her hand, “It’sso beautiful.”

Kakashipulled her close to him and kissed her shoulder. “It’s been passed down theHatake Clan for generations.”

Sakura kissed him again, sweet andaffectionate. “I love you.”

Hekissed her back, unable to stop the growing smile on his face. “I love you,too.”

Whenshe pulled away, she looked at him excitedly. “We’re getting married.”

Kakashichuckled with a nod and she threw her weight at him again, making them fall tothe pillows as she laughed. Kakashi didn’t think he could ever feel happier.

***

Kakashiand Sakura quietly listened as Naruto gave his speech with the widest grineither of them had ever seen on him. Kakashi had been right in thinking therobes and hat looked so much better on him. He wore them proudly and it washard to keep Konoha from cheering while he talked. Kakashi and Sakurastood near him, wearing matching proud smiles on their faces. Kakashi and Narutohad both dragged her up there with them, though she didn’t really have anyauthority to be up there. No one batted an eye though.

Narutowas nearing the end of his speech when he paused with a smile and glanced atthem behind him. He turned back to the crowd. “Before we begin any of the celebrations,I think it’s important to give our congratulations to Kakashi and Sakura.”Naruto looked over at them with a cheeky smile before announcing to the wholevillage, “They’re getting married!”

“Naruto!”Sakura’s skin turned beet red and she moved to hit him lightly on the shoulder.They hadn’t even told him yet, but Kakashi guessed he had noticed the ring onSakura’s finger. Naruto merely laughed as the crowd burst into another round ofcheers and screams. Kakashi chuckled as Sakura spun into his chest to hide herface from all the people now staring at her.

Well,Naruto had just saved him a lot of time in telling people and he grinned at theman as he turned to them. The festivities had begun with the end of his speechand they needed to head down to join everyone. Naruto put a hand on Sakura’sshoulder and she looked at him, still blushing but with a small smile. Heglanced at them both before telling them sincerely, “I’m happy for you guys.”

“Thankyou.” Kakashi smiled at him and Sakura pulled away to throw her arms aroundNaruto.

Narutohugged her back as she told him, “Thanks, Naruto. I hope you know how proud Iam of you.”

Narutogave one last smile to them both before bounding down the stairs. Sakurareturned to his side and Kakashi leaned down to kiss her on the cheek beforetaking her hand. She leaned into his side as she interlocked the fingers and heled her down the stairs.

Kakashijoked as they walked down, “I’m burning this jacket.”

“Youare not.” Sakura laughed and hit him on the shoulder. Shefaced forward again with a soft smile. “I was actually thinking about finding away to hang it up on the wall at home.”

Shewent on to tell him how it was something to show for what he’s accomplished andKakashi just listened to her quietly. Just one word stuck with him, though.Home. She was talking about their apartment, but when helooked down at her, he had never felt more at home than with her.

#8k+#kat writes #for the wife #love you #this fic wasnt supposed to be this long but you go wherever the fic goes right?#meliss-cake

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