#brotp queelinski

[derpylittlenico]

the following brought to you by Shower Thoughts tm tm tm

a "whump but not actually" not-fic? fic idea? whatever.

...

ok, so.

we know stiles is a pending accident on long legs. this isn't a secret.

but what if some member of the pack (maybe a mother henning Scott? or curious Allison? hell, maybe goddamn Isaac being a nosy bitch) accidentally catches a glimpse of a shirtless Stiles, and. just. bruises. bruises all over. from nip to goddamn hip.

cue...whoever...losing their shit via mass text to everyone else in the pack, because??? je m'fuhkin escuse? thu fucc??

I mean they are understandably Worried, bc those are so not lacrosse bruises. they would have seen that shit happen, and definitely heard about it too, because Stiles is unafraid to whine loudly, at great volume...well, unless he's actually hurt. so the fact that he's said nothing?

they are totally having guilt spirals, wondering is Grumpy Brows was right about wolves being too rough to be safe around humans, and is that why didn't he say anything??? bc he's spiteful and didn't want have to admit maybe Derek was right? bc omg, he'd totally not mention deep tissue bruising just to spite Derek.

(cue lots of Scott hand wringing and worried frowns. maybe even Derek staring melodramatically out of windows too dusty for even him to see out of bc he's Like That)

only?

......yeah, no, that's not what's going on, at all.

bc, see, Stiles is friends with the ladies from the Jungle. They are his best bitches, and he's learned not to bitch about a few minor bruises after hanging around people who routinely put on staggeringly tight compression tights and five inch high heels. Never mind the plucking and waxing.

It only took one Amateur Drag Night for him to learn to "suck it up, buttercup."

but anyway. they are his besties from other people's testes, and so drag his happy ass into shenanigans as often as possible.

...which includes pole classes at the local rec center, Thurs afternoons and every other Sunday evening.

and yeah, the bribe of free food following a two hour Lady Guhgah boogy sesh in short shorts is a nice bribe, but he doesn't really need to be bribed to hang out with them. They're a fuhkin blast to hang out with, and have some Stories.

(and also don't ignore him when he asks if they think he could be attractive to gay guys)

and ofc, though he only came for the good music and better company, he'd still put his entire ass into it and get really good at it. bc, as the queens have taught him, if he's not serving absolute cunt when the opportunity arises, why even bother.

but before all that, while he's still learning?

he'd bruise.

a lot. like? a lot a lot a lot.

bc the thing tv and movies don't tell you about pole dancing is that part of the trick is training your skin to kinda...stick? suction on? to the pole like Cameron Diaz stuck to the car windshield in That One Scene in The Counselor.

(but he doesn't talk about that movie. or that scene. bc some things just need to be forgotten.)

tl, dr?

in those early days, while he was still clenching more than clinging, in between getting dumped on his dump-truck, he admittedly looks like he's been PvPing the Hulk for funsies. Or picking fights with Creepy Grandpa Argent. Or just, like, generally slamming himself into walls.

so yeah.

"whump but not," bc the pack is scrambling to find a way to have an intervention over Stiles hiding injuries, bc he forgot to mention he and Jizz Taylor and Gloria Hole and Bicurious Georgia have decided to learn pole technique alongside Natalie Martin, a few bikers from the local biker bar, and Stiles' 55 yr old neighbor.

#teen wolf meta #stiles stilinski #the jungle drag queens (teen wolf) #brotp queelinski #the mchale pack #not fic #i wanted to make this stargent or steter bc i am trash but it got away from me #i g it can be there if you squint