Tumgik
#blondebeard
arcanetrivia · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
look this is my one weird trick so I'm going to keep doing it
49 notes · View notes
bloodsailbuccaneer · 1 year
Text
The Curse of Monkey Island (1997)
Blondebeard's Chicken Shoppe 🍗😄
1 note · View note
queeraspirates · 2 years
Text
Taika Waititi saying Chris Hemsworth should play Blondebeard on Our Flag Means Death
3K notes · View notes
piratessmpnpcs · 5 months
Text
☆°~ [ SPOILERS FOR THE WEDDING EVENT ! ]
*☆~ Jeffrey died ! By uhh being squished by anvil apparently ?
Idk man I'll fact check that later-
Also apparently *Golden beard killed him ?
Anyways rest in peace Jeffrey , you were a good bard , very broke but a nice bard. 🙏🙏
Edit : was wrong Blondebeard is the one who killed Jeffrey ! [ Blondebeard being p! Martyn In thy little woods ] [ who is in his evil arc apparently ]
16 notes · View notes
eparchclass · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Gam4taskic | Blondcrewtaskic [left] // Gender influenced by, best described by, or otherwise connected to MTF Gamma-4, aka Blondebeard's Crew
Gamma4taskic | Grestagtaskic [middle] // Gender influenced by, best described by, or otherwise connected to MTF Gamma-4, aka Green Stags
Gamma5taskic | Redherrtaskic [right] // Gender influenced by, best described by, or otherwise connected to MTF Gamma-5, aka Red Herrings
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Gamma6taskic | Deepfeedtaskic [left] // Gender influenced by, best described by, or otherwise connected to MTF Gamma-6, aka Deep Feeders
Gamma13taskic | Asimovlawtaskic [middle] // Gender influenced by, best described by, or otherwise connected to MTF Gamma-13, aka Asimov's Lawbringers
Gamma44taskic | Meatlocktaskic [right] // Gender influenced by, best described by, or otherwise connected to MTF Gamma-44, aka Meat Lockers
9 notes · View notes
rainonsand · 2 years
Video
youtube
So about Chris Hemsworth as “Blondbeard” Cloudy: Imagine Blondebeard trying to seduce Stede right in front of Ed 
Me: I'm picturing Blondebeard being another pirate from Ed's past, but arrogant, handsome, successful, charismatic and charming, and him and Blackbeard have this rivalry where he low key bullys Ed: takes the center of any room he's in, ignores Ed, talks over him, says stupid ideas like they're clever and gets people to think he's fantastic when really he's like--
 Me: omfg, I need Chris Hemsworth to be Ed's Captain Hammer
So now I present to you:
Blondebeard: the Captain Hammer of OFMD
And he never sees or acknowledges that Ed's this successful pirate, always condescends to him. Blondebeard is to Ed like Terry's brother is to Terry in Brooklyn Nine-Nine, a cross between that and Captain Hammer. So imagine this asshole, that everyone generally loves but who has never been nice to Ed, from Ed's past, swans in and starts flirting with Stede. In season 2, BEFORE Ed and Stede have reconciled. Stede may be there but Ed is still upset, hasn't decided if he can forgive him or move forward, let alone if he will take him back or give him another chance. So Stede is there to prove himself to Ed, basically. Then: enter Blondebeard. Flirting with Stede, immediately, and being so charming and so winning (Ed thinks) that Ed's immediately jealous, and he hadn't even decided if he still wanted Stede! But he can't stand for Blondie to win him over. And then Blondebeard privately is pissing on Ed's shoes (metaphorically) about it. "Oh, did you like that little blonde man? I thought you weren't interested, that he was fair game and all that. My he looks delicious." Ed: this isn't fair, you always do this! You swan in and spot whatever it is I want most and they you get it first! and you don't even want it! You just get it so I can't have it! And then you leave them in ruins and you’re going to do it again! (I'm paraphrasing, Ed would never say it like that.)
But the whole thing is an abject lesson for Ed to realize what Stede means to him and then act on it.
59 notes · View notes
theadventurerslog · 4 months
Text
The Curse of Monkey Island | The A-mfggh-C's of a Bonus Part
Tumblr media
I realized I kept forgetting to use the Ventriloquist Book on people and there are several opportunities. Unfortunately, I'd missed at least one.
So, this part is dedicated to bothering everyone I can on Puerto Pollo. I reloaded an early file to grab those I couldn't anymore, mainly Rottingham, and then back to my current file to get the rest.
I also took the opportunity to catch some of Slappy Cromwell's rehearsal lines as I wasn't getting them before. Actually, I suspect what may have happened is that I went up to the lights control panel before going to the stage and some of his dialogue may have happened there and then when I did go to the stage it acted like it had run through everything already and just gave me the boring mutters.
Anyway, a couple fun lines from Slappy although there are many:
Tumblr media
'A pirate, by any other name, would still reek! Aargh!'
Tumblr media
"Act IV, scene 8, 'Join me, Rosencrantz! I am your FATHER!'"
Of course they had to get in a Star Wars reference.
Using the book on him causes Guybrush to pretend the other actor is insulting him.
Tumblr media
"You're no actor! Get off the stage, ya bum!"
And the other actor protests saying anything when Slappy is insulted.
Next up: Rottingham!
Tumblr media
'Make my head shine like a cue ball.'
And McMutton starts to agree before Rottingham protests. Besides annoying Rottingham which is always a good thing, I guess that's a clue too, since you do need to make him bald to get him out.
Then I reloaded my current file. And it was time for my favourite: Murray!
Tumblr media
"Mooooo..."
Tumblr media
"I am Moosferatu, the demonic Jersey Cow."
Tumblr media
And Murray is thrilled! "Free me, and I shall forever be your faithful neither-worldly servant!"
Guybrush laughs and says he got him. Murray just splutters a "You!"
Now where's that game? The Diabolical Adventures of Mooseferatu and Murray...
I had to stop by Kenny Falmouth:
Tumblr media
"Hey everybody, I'm a snot-nosed, devious, little con-man!"
I suppose Guybrush is still feeling sour on that bottomless mug policy.
I stopped by Blondebeard for another fun one.
Tumblr media
"Braaakkk!"
Tumblr media
"It is I, the spirit of El Pollo Diablo!"
Blondebeard was ready...ish.
Tumblr media
"Back! Back you fowl demon!"
Heee.
Guybrush lets up on the joke and Blondebeard just laughs a bit and calls him a scamp. Much the same as he did when popping the gum bubble to get his tooth out. He is rather good-natured, really.
You can use it on "Manny", the Grim Fandango reference skeleton too.
Tumblr media
"Waiter, what's this metatarsal doing in my soup?"
I would guess that's a reference as well? But I don't remember Grim Fandango well enough to say I'm afraid. If someone knows tell me!
And finally, I went to go bother the Cabana Boy, also always worth doing.
Tumblr media
"I'm sorry for being rude. Please feel free to slap me, and then feel free to make full use of the club."
There's actually a clue in what you'll end up doing in there too...
And so that's a little aside to bother all of Puerto Pollo's residents. Nearly. There is one more character I've not met yet to try it on...
And of course, there's still the puzzle that actually requires it!
For now, it's back to the regular posts. I just really like messing with that book, but I kept forgetting. And I didn't want to clutter up one of my main posts which get long enough as is.
2 notes · View notes
manicpixieginger · 8 months
Note
okayyy SO. you said you were bored and to send asks. well, here's mine. who's your favorite matt damon character, and why?
ohhh anon you dk what you’ve lined yourself up for but buckle up bc you’re getting a guide with pictures
atm? Probably Groves from Oppenheimer! ik there’s a lot to unpack with that but hear me out.
so it was the first performance I properly paid attention to and noticed Matt Damon in, and rlly he checks off a lot of the traits of characters I’ve loved before but they’re all mingled into one!
his moustache reminded me of Aldo Raine and his attitude reminded me of Don from fury but I love how he’s built rlly solidly and I love the voice Damon does for him and I love how he’s characterised as a hardass with a bad temper and a slight sense of humour.
Tumblr media
He looks so good in the hearing scene in his suit!
Tumblr media
The one thing I rlly can’t fault abt Oppenheimer is the cast themselves bc they did a really great job but I felt rlly guilty at first for finding Groves attractive esp bc there were lots of Cillian Murphy girls getting a lot of flack for writing Oppenheimer x reader fanfiction but Oppenheimer takes a lot of creative liberties and when I thirst over Matt Damon as Groves in the movie it’s a completely different entity to the real world counterpart. Additionally, partly bc Oppenheimer and the Manhattan Project are becoming kinda hyperfixations for me, I’m reading up a lot on both to (idk how to phrase this) kind of hold the plotting and spin of events the film portrays accountable and make sure I know enough to separate the film as a fictional, dramatised take on real life events. I think you can’t really look at biopics and films based on true stories the same when you know the facts. (obvs with very attractive film stars cast as irl ppl so some attraction was inevitable I think and idk I don’t think they should’ve done the casting in the way they did lol.) everytime I see a pic of irl groves i wail in agony bc why did Chris Nolan yassify him?
(bonus fave pic of groves lol)
Tumblr media
second is Mark Watney bc he’s just pookie. he’s poo fimbly. he’s baby. he is so wonderful. I love his optimistic ass. Blondebeard my beloved. Love his dancing and everything.
Tumblr media
but anyway I think other joint seconds are probably Gardner Lodge from Suburbicon who I discuss with my beloved @littlegreenfag or Jean de Carrouges (haven’t watched Last Duel properly but medieval Matt is super hot ok).
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And I think when I watch Dogma and The Monuments Men his characters in those I’ll rlly love!
aside from that a special place goes to the cameo he makes in Eurotrip where he sings Scotty Doesn’t Know bc that’s the type of guy I look to pick up when I go the goth club - he so suits the shaved head and piercings it’s super hot <3 he’s literally my banner picture and referred to in my blog title!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
4 notes · View notes
tentakrool · 2 years
Text
My thoughts are currently occupied by the thought of Ed and Stede laying together in the window seat of the Revenge, with Ed snaking his hand up to scritch his fingers through Stede's beard. Stede cracks some kind of joke about how "Blondebeard" simply doesn't have the same ring as Blackbeard. Ed's beard is much more impressive, anyway, even though right now he's only got some short stubble. Ed just likes the way the light hits Stede's beard and hair. It makes it really seem as if Stede is shining like the sun.
22 notes · View notes
arcanetrivia · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Captain BlondeBeard - The Curse of Monkey Island Fan Art by Nadia Valhof on ArtStation
2 notes · View notes
darkmessiah86 · 1 year
Text
¡Madre de Dios! ¡Es el Pollo Diablo!
As I recently played Return to Monkey Island, I feel the need to do something quick about the franchise. For this piece I decided to create a character from The Curse of Monkey Island, Captain Blondebeard! You can find him cooking his delicious dishes in his restaurant, the Blondebeard's Chicken Shop near the center of Puerto Pollo.
He is a very kind person, just do not criticise too much his cooking skills :)
Tumblr media
0 notes
piratessmpnpcs · 5 months
Text
☆°~ Final npc death count !
In order from : Marnie , Hook , Robar Zhek , Jeffrey , Flam , Claud , Saffrie , Enchantress , Digby , Finn , Katie , Pip , Iris , Ivy , and Cruppy !
Most of the others are killed by the cultists , Robar Zeik got pushed off into the hole by Pirate Tim , Ivy killed Iris , Cruppy Jumped off , Iris turned into a statue and Oli Orionsounds killed Pip !
If there's anyone I miss feel free to tell me !
Edit : Jeffrey got squished by anvil by Blondebeard ! [ aka martyn itlw evil mode ]
Edit Edit : Today I learned that Flam died by Cultists , I'm not devastated over this information I'm NOTTT ☹️☹️☹️☹️
15 notes · View notes
photographercharles · 4 years
Photo
Tumblr media
Giving you a big tease with tomorrow’s featured gentlemen, @magicblond69 and @trophyblond01. My birthday present to myself. #comingattractions #blondemen #gay opulent #lgbtq #nakedadventures #nudehike #naturalblondes #hairyblonde #blondebeard #photographercharles #downinfront (at Palm Springs, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CGIo_Gsj20z/?igshid=zicrznpcfiof
1 note · View note
theadventurerslog · 5 months
Text
The Curse of Monkey Island | Part 2
Tumblr media
Last time, Guybrush made it to the shore of an island and Elaine was turned to gold by the cursed diamond ring he used to propose to her. Now we need to explore this new island and hopefully find a way to help her in Part II.
Tumblr media
The Curse Gets Worse.
Time to start exploring the island and figure out where we are! That's an easy one thanks to a handy sign right there.
Tumblr media
"Welcome to Puerto Pollo, from the Plunder Island Poultry Brotherhood."
On the right side of the beach there is also a chicken and a plaque.
Tumblr media
"Plunder Island Feral Chicken. One of Plunder Island's most common fauna , and the animal for which our capital of Puerto Pollo is named."
While here on the beach, I scooped up a burning ember from the bit of torched boat wreckage. While on the topic of inventory, I also forgot to mention that the cutlass got lost when the ship capsized.
At the broken bridge heading to the fort there's also a secret button you can press to make one of the fort's cannons fire. Completely pointless, but fun.
There are two routes out of here. One takes you to the overworld map of the island and the other takes you to the location where you actually need to go next. You can go straight to that location and I've often done so, but it's fun to see the island first, so this time I went for the map first.
Tumblr media
And here we have Plunder Island! Not every location can be reached yet. For now there's the ship wreckage in the swamp--saving that for the moment, the beach we're at, the town and another beach.
I headed into town for a bit of exploration first and look for help with the curse. Entering the town starts you off at a lemonade stand though it's not open yet. The kid there doesn't have much to tell you but to see the lady over in Plunder Swamp.
Tumblr media
Next to his stand is Blondebeard's Chicken Shop and walk-thru. There are a few notable things between these two spots:
vats of red dye
the sign pointing to Danjer Cover
Jungle plants blocking the route to Danjer Cove
Flowers and another plaque talking about ipecac flowers.
Tumblr media
"A syrup made from the ipecac flowers was used by the early settlers of Plunder Island as a purgative."
And finally a flyer that can be read or grabbed and read:
"Feeling down 'cause your chick's turned to gold? Come to the swamp! Get your fortune told! Voodoo 'n' Things (Formerly Just Voodoo. Visit our new location on Plunder Island.)"
Basically this whole part, if you choose to wander around, is just herding you to the swamp. But it's nice to see the place while some very lowkey chill banjo music plays.
Onward to the town square.
Tumblr media
In the bottom corner is the Barbery Coast, a barber shop, also closed right now, and knocking on the door leads to Guybrush asking for help, only to get told to go see the Voodoo Lady.
There's also a theatre with a banner advertising their upcoming show, "Speare". The clock can be examined and gives the time based off your computer clock which is cute.
I wandered off to end up at the Brimstone Beach Club and Smorgy.
Tumblr media
Only to also be told to go see the Voodoo Lady.
With that quick introduction to the town, it was time to listen and go to the swamp.
Tumblr media
Where there's a building formed out of a ship wreckage and! Importantly! Our ol' pal, Murray. Trying to be scary. As he does. Not doing a great job of it. As he also does.
He tries to dramatically warn Guybrush not to go further into the swamp--"Turn back! Turn back! Darkness will envelop you!" But it's very difficult to take Murray seriously, so things just turn to more conversation about things such as how he got up there--"sheer force of will." No, some weird voodoo kids found him and stuck him up there. Now he stands hangs as a testament to the forces of Evil that will one day be victorious over the earth. Actually, he's mostly just very bored, poor fellow.
Guybrush asks if he knows anything about lifting curses--hey been asking everyone else--to which he gets a very sarcastic response from the skull...stuck on a spike... in the middle of a swamp. Yeah.
Tumblr media
Murray does actually apologize for his little outburst; it's been a long day. There's nothing more to be done with him--he can't be carried sadly--so it was onto the presumable Voodoo Lady's home in the shipwreck there.
Tumblr media
And there it is with a stuffed alligator with an unusually long tongue, a bottle of paste on the floor along with some paper voodoo dolls, one of which has a pin stuck in it. And on the counter we've got a gum machine. Pack of gum for 5 cents.
The pin and paste can both be taken. I thought I mostly remembered the differences between normal difficulty and mega-monkey but apparently not as when I double checked a detail the paste is only in mega-monkey, but it does get used a few times, so huh. I could have sworn one of the things that needed it was in the normal difficulty. It has been a long time since I played normal.
A wooden nickel can be used with the machine to get a packet of gum: Admiral Sweetums Bit-o-Jerky bubblegum. Tasty...?
Then I pulled the alligator's tongue. How often do you get to say that?
Tumblr media
A pulley type contraption pulls up a chair and the Voodoo Lady. There are a couple options to find out who she is if you haven't played the past two games as she's a recurring character. She's helped out in both the previous games.
I dove in with "Boy, have I got some stories to tell you!"
She tried to retreat from Guybrush's storytelling, but Guybrush relented and moved on to explain what happened with Elaine and the curse and ask for help. She's willing to help but first, where did he hide the solid gold statue of his girlfriend on an island full of pirates?
Oops.
We get a scene of Guybrush having to...go... do something unrelated and run back to the beach, but it's too late. Elaine's been taken by pirates...
Tumblr media
And then he returns to the Voodoo Lady for more help.
Now, in Guybrush's defence, I don't know how he could have hidden Elaine. It's not like he could have moved her. If you try picking her up, he even says she must weigh a ton. Stuck in the middle of a beach, there weren't a lot of options. Guybrush may make plenty of mistakes, but I think he can catch a break on this one.
Regardless, the Voodoo Lady suspects Elaine's been stolen by the mangy pirates anchored in Danjer Cove. So, we'll have to find a way there to get her back and break the curse.
As for the curse itself, a diamond ring of equal or greater value needs to replace the cursed one. There are legends of a 'whopping big diamond ring on Blood Island.' Unfortunately, Blood Island is the place where she's foreseen that Guybrush. will die. Uh oh. Guybrush, naturally, has a bit of a freakout about this, but that ring's worth comes from its emotional significance--there are none like it. So, we''ll have to cross that bridge when we get to it.
And to get to Blood Island I'll need to find three things: map, ship and crew.
And thus we have our goals for now. And there's some other information to get from her, some just silly stuff, and some a little more important like:
El Pollo Diablo! The Giant Demon Chicken. It stalks the jungles of Plunder Island seeking revenge for its eaten brethren. Guybrush doesn't take it seriously or believe in it, but it's information worth keeping.
I headed back out to do one last task before leaving the swamp.
Now, the paste can be used with the skeleton arm. There is no point in using the paste with the skeleton arm right now, however, you can show it to Murray for a reaction, as it used to be his arm, so what more reason do you need anyway? He's grossed out by it. "Oh, ick."
Tumblr media
"You are a sad, strange, little man."
But you can give him a piece of gum too! That's...like a peace offering, right? And he'll blow bubbles with it.
Tumblr media
I went back to the beach and Elaine's absence. There were footprints in the sand now, until you examine them and realize that, no, they're actually handprints. How odd. Or as Guybrush puts it: "Those pirates in Danjer Cove walk on their hands? Weird!"
There was also another of those handy informative signs where Elaine was.
Tumblr media
"Untitled Composition in Gold and Diamond. This newest addition to our public works of art was shamefully taken without authorization."
The Plunder Island Naturalist Society moves fast! Assuming they're also responsible for the art plaques too. This is also something I don't think I saw until later play-throughs as, unless you miss the ember, there's no real reason to ever come back here.
Something else I didn't really notice until a much more recent play was that the chickens around the fort vary in number and arrangement whenever you come back. It's the fun details!
Now that I have concrete goals, it was back to really exploring the island and properly getting to meet the locals instead of being funneled to the swamp.
I went into town landing at the lemonade stand first, which is run by the kid, Kenny Falmouth. He's selling lemonade for a nickel and has a bottomless mug policy. Wow! What a deal! Of course I wanted some lemonade.
Tumblr media
He poured some and 'bottomless mug' indeed. Guybrush went to drink and discovered the lack of bottom, but Kenny did say! And no refunds! No lemonade to drink, just gotta eat that loss.
As we saw, past him is a sign pointing out the route to Danjer Cove, which sure would be great for finding those pirates and Elaine, but there's too much undergrowth blocking the path, so we'll need a way to clear that.
Blondebeard's Chicken Shop is now open!
Tumblr media
But a reservation is needed to actually come in, so I got booted back outside.
In the town square there's the theatre and the barbershop. Now, you can't enter the theatre through the front entrance, however there is a side entrance.
Tumblr media
That takes us into a prop room with lots of stuff to look at and interact with. The stage can also be entered from here and you can go upstairs, but investigation comes first.
Tumblr media
Some items of note or amusement, though there are more things than this to look at:
Donkey Mask: You can't do anything with it, but if you try to pick it up: "I don't want to look like a jackass." Guybrush turns to camera: "Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. So knock it off!"
Mirror: "I wonder if there's a part in this play for... a dashing rogue pirate!"
Magic wand: It's a magic wand. You can scoop it up. "Watch me make THIS disappear."
Magic hat: It's empty. Or is it?
Use the magic wand with the hat!
Tumblr media
And it makes a book appear in the hat: 'The A-mfggh-C's of Ventriloquism'. Grab that too! It's a fun item that has several optional uses beyond what it will be needed for.
Travel Trunk: Has a sticker on it from Blood Island! So there's a possibility that the owner knows how to get there.
Pirate Coat: A nice coat with "just a few flakes of unsightly dandruff." There's also a sneaky pocket. In Mega-Monkey mode it's closed and more easily missable than in normal where it's open putting the item in the pocket on clear display. Open the pocket to reveal a glove which I took.
Dandruff: ...is wiggling. It's lice. Lice that is going straight into the inventory? Why? Because it will be needed and because we can. If you talk to them "So, which one of you is the head louse?" Once you've picked up the lice, if you examine the coat again, he changes his comment to "It's a de-loused pirate coat."
I went upstairs to find the light controls.
Tumblr media
However, without instructions there's nothing to be done with them right now.
So, it was onward to the stage!
Tumblr media
The actor on stage is rehearsing "Oh Juliet! ...yadayadayada." There are a few different Shakespeare related lines but I wasn't getting them this time, mostly just mumbles.
Talking to him, he's introduced as Slappy Cromwell. You can ask him about the 'putrid drivel' he's rehearsing because it is THAT bad. He's been having no luck with any of his performances, so he felt compelled to rewrite Shakespear condensing it down into a forty-five minute revue. Speare! "A theatrical medley."
Tumblr media
You can also ask to join the play but get refused. Repeatedly if you keep insisting.
And most importantly you can ask if he ever performed at Blood Island. He had done so, but his agent, Palido Domingo always handled the travel arrangements so I'd have to go talk to him. He's a member of the Brimstone Beachclub.
I also talked to the pirate in the pink dress, who's actually a spokes-model, but what he really wants to do is act, so here he is.
Normally from here I would move on to the Barber shop, but this time I decided to pursue the map trail and follow Cromwell's instructions to go to the Brimstone Beach Club in hopes of meeting Palido.
The Cabana Boy starts off friendly and welcoming, explaining the various activities happening today and warning about the undead bits washing ashore--best to keep the kids away. But the siege earlier hasn't led to trouble for the rest of the day, so enjoy!
Tumblr media
All good until he finds out you don't have a membership card. Then he turns into right old snot. You can ask to sign up for a card, but it's a long, ridiculous arduous process, and then even if Guybrush got through it all, he'd blackball him. Because it's policy to exclude anyone whose odor or presence might offend the other members. Rude.
No card means no beach, no usage of amenities and nothing off the grill. You can try various dialogue options to get the towels or oil, or be let onto the beach, but he doesn't budge. He ultimately doesn't even succumb to a jedi mind trick. "I'm not the pirate you're looking for."
Tumblr media
So, that's currently a bust and it's back to the barbershop next time.
We now know we need:
a cleared route to Danjer Cove
a reservation for Blondebeard's Chicken Shop
a Brimstone Membership card
And for longterm goals:
map - Palido should help with that
ship - still unknown
crew - still unknown
2 notes · View notes