#birthday month poem 8

[kiss-me-over-the-garden-gate]

THE JERK by Jeffrey McDaniel

Hey you, dragging the halo- how about a holiday in the islands of grief?

Tongue is the word I wish to have with you. Your eyes are so blue they leak.

Your legs are longer than a prisoner's last night on death row. I'm filthier than the coal miner's bathtub and nastier than the breath of Charles Bukowski.

You're a dirty little windshield.

I'm standing behind you on the subway, hard as calculus. My breath be sticking to your neck like graffiti.

I'm sitting opposite you in the bar, waiting for you to uncross your boundaries.

I want to rip off your logic and make passionate sense to you.

I want to ride in the swing of your hips.

My fingers will dig in you like quotation marks, blazing your limbs into parts of speech.

But with me for a lover, you won't need catastrophes. What attracted me in the first place will ultimately make me resent you.

I'll start telling you lies, and my lies will sparkle, become the bad stars you chart your life by.

I'll stare at other women so blatantly you'll hear my eyes peeling,

because sex with you is like Great Britain: cold, groggy, and a little uptight.

Your bed is a big, soft calculator where my problems multiply.

Your brain is a garage I park my bullshit in, for free.

You're not really my new girlfriend, just another flop sequel of the first one, who was based on the true story of my mother.

You're so ugly I forgot how to spell.

I'll cheat on you like a ninth grade math test, break your heart just for the sound it makes.

You're the 'this' we need to put an end to. The more you apologize, the less I forgive you.

So how about it?

#birthday month poem 8 #college #the jerk #jeffrey mcdaniel

[srbachchan]

DAY 5894

Jalsa, Mumbai Apr 7/8, 2024 Sun/Mon 2:06 pm

🪔 ,

April 08 .. birthday greetings to Ef Bhavana B Rao from Bangalore .. 🙏🏻🚩

April 06 .. belated birthday greetings to Ef Karan Dhillon .. and Shreyasi J. Singh from Indore .. 🙏🏻🚩

.. so there may be thought that the Blog has had a late night .. but no .. the cable has been cut outside by 'cable cutters' .. some digging goes on to enhance the Newtwork .. and hence the absence for such .. they still working on it .. and hope that it shall be restored soon ..

The Dongle .. the Saviour in such occurences is emplyed but does not seem to be functioning to its optimum ..

Ahh .. the exigencies of modernity and communications ..

BUT ..

we move on ..

and there is some respite tp to the Mumbai Indians .. we won finally .. and pray we continue .. with due respects of course to those that support other teams .. which is a constant dilemma ..

SO .. a hypothetical case in point ..

Your dharm sthan .. धर्मस्थान be Allahabad, now Prayagraj .. UP .. but your support team is in Mumbai .. your कर्मस्थान .. karm sthan .. so where does your allegiance lie during a game match between MI and LSG .. the Mumbai Indians v The Lucknow Super Giants .. Lucknow the Capital of the State of UP - Uttar Pradesh .. UP ..

😳

😁

.. and many other such ..

its a bummer .. !! if the slang can be used here .. apologies !!

Sunday at the GOJ are no such exigency .. they are universal in its execution and desire and presence ..

.. and you see and read docu's of certain happenings in the World of yesterday and today and the days to come and wonder .. how on earth does the human mind think and react and execute its life and the lives of others ..

It is never in peace and harmony .. mistrust and intrigue and doubts and the facade of friendship .. and the reasons, why and the wherefore ..

history keeps changing and is abreast of the culture and way of the circumstances and the mind ..

and each year and month and day we think what shall tomorrow hold .. or indeed what shall today .. and the confusion of what did we do and what shall we do to leave behind for the progeny .. for they are the true inheritors ..

OR .. as Babuji has put in his poem on INHERTANCE .. 'वसीयतनामा' .. the document that contains your WILL ..

'my sons, just because they are my sons, shall not be my inheritors .. they that are my inheritors shall be my sons .."

'मेरे बेटे, बेटे होने से मेरे उत्तराधिकारी नहीं होंगे ; जो मेरे उत्तराधिकारी होंगे, वो मेरे बेटे होंगे' ~

so we rumble along , network difficulty and all .. the alternatives being brought into operation .. the Dongle, the WiFi of the personal phone .. and so on ..

THERE ARE SO MANY ALTERNATIVES IN TODAY'S WORLD .. SAY IT AND IT IS THERE ..

BARING YOUR SOUL .. 😇

My love ..

🌺

Amitabh Bachchan

[sleeplesssmoll]

Matilda's Curse of Three goes Deep.

And Birthday Theory!

I wondered why Sonetto's third field mission was important. I realized it may have to do with Matilda's Birthday. Number 3 is her unlucky number!

This theory falls apart if you look at her actual Birthday in June, a 6 month difference. On the other hand, Matilda is one of the few children who knows her real Birthday. Orphans like Sonetto and X use their adoption dates as Birthdays (Pics below for reference). Maybe there is a similar lore reason for this discrepancy?

Remember that trail about Matilda's score? Matilda needs 14 points to earn a perfect 100. A sonnet is a 14-line form poem split into 8-line and 6-line parts. The 6 month difference might be a coincidence but I thought I'd include it just in case. If this is correct, Sonetto was out on a mission the day before Matilda's theorized Birthday on Dec 22 instead of June 22.

#reverse 1999 #matilda bouanich #at this point the crush makes me sad #like it was cute and silly before #but she's a little baby and i want her to be happy too

[oftlunarialmoon]

75 Agere Journal Prompts MEGALIST

Ciao lovelies! The first time I wrote about Age Regression Journals was in 2018, a whole 4 years ago (that feels weird to say omg). So I thought, since I’ve had 4 years to compile it for myself, I would share my MEGALIST of 75 Age Regression Journal Prompts with you all!

For more info about Agere Journaling, see THIS POST from 2018.

For Nightsong’s article about Vent Journals, see THIS POST from 2019.

For 8 Journal Prompts, see THIS POST from 2019.

And finally, for 52 creative writing prompts/quaintrelle prompts, see THIS POST from 2019.

And now, let’s begin this list!

75 Agere Journal Prompts - MEGALIST

*PS* scroll to the bottom, for pictures of examples from my personal journal! 

Draw yourself a kawaii bento lunch!

Write down any chores for the day as a to-do list or sticker check off list

Design a smol outfit

Make a playlist for your littlespace

Draw portraits of your stuffies

Write your headcanons for your comfort characters as caregivers

Write down some animal facts from different parts of the world that interest you!

List items that are your favorite color

Make a magazine collage with a specific theme

List ideas you want to do in certain seasons

List your favorite agere nicknames

Write down any agere headcanons you have for fictional characters or OCs

List stuffie name ideas

List all your current stuffie names

List your favorite phone apps for littlespace

Make a tier list of your opinions on different types of candy

Draw what your favorite characters would look like as stuffies

Invent a new kidcore fashion trend

List 5 facts about your favorite sea animal

Design your Jolly Roger if you were a pirate

Draw yourself as a Pokemon Trainer

List how you deal with stress in agere methods

Write out any recipes you can make while regressed

List crafts you’d like to make

Make a page about your morning routine when regressed

Make a page about your night time routine when regressed

Write out any rules or guidelines you have when regressed

What’s on your Agere/Littlespace Movies list?

Write about what you would do on a visit to the beach

List any animes you like when small

List your favorite agere books

Dear Past Me - What would you tell your past self?

Dear Future Me - What would you tell your future self?

List songs that make you regress

List your regression triggers (positive or negative)

Write about how you would comfort a friend in need

Write about your dream vacation

Make your christmas/birthday/holiday gift wishlist

List your fave agere video games

List your favorite stims

Write a letter to your favorite fictional character

Write a letter to a friend or family member

Play I spy and write down the categories and things you find

Make a page of your top 5 agere songs from the last month

List free activities you can do when regressed

Make a collage page from a coloring sheet and stickers

Play scavenger hunt with stickers of your preferred theme

Use a page to write down word games like word scrambles and mad libs

Fill a page with positive messages for yourself to read later

Write down tarot interpretations if you do tarot reading while smol

List ideas for kandi bracelets you could make

Declare a random day a holiday of some kind, write down how you celebrate it

Use a page to “braindump” all of your current thoughts, even if it’s babbling

Make a sticker collage inspired by your caregiver

Make a sticker collage inspired by the seasons

Trace your hand onto the page and give yourself fun nail art, tattoos, or accessories

Draw a race track for a toy car, add obstacles or scenery with stickers

Write a social media profile page for a comfort character

Make a “top secret” file with your stuffie’s secrets >:)

Make a collage inspired by yourself

Dedicate a page to facts about one of your special interests

Write a poem for your pet (or fave stuffie!)

Draw a scene around a sticker of your favorite animal

Draw the inside of a house and use stickers to furnish and decorate it

Draw a scene to play with your toys in

Try a mindful reset page (List problems you’re facing, then list more positive mindset changes to each one)

Document the stories you play out with dolls or toys

Write down “this or that” prompts in one color then answer them in another color !

Use stickers to tell a story or make a fun comic

Fill a page with word art, using any words that make you feel smol

Make a list of all of your OCs

Use a page to document Minecraft coordinates of your favorite builds

Draw the outline of a purse or bag, and use stickers to show what a character of your choice would have in their bag, or-

Use stickers to show what you would put in your dream agere bag!

Draw a face on a page in marker or pen, and use makeup to decorate it! (or face paint :p)

Examples From My Journal:

#agere class #agere classroom #agere daycare #agere school #agere #age regression #sfw agere #sfw littlespace #age regressor #sfw age regression #agereg #age dreaming #sfw little blog #agere blog #Ciao lovelies #Agere diys #Agere diy #Agere craft #Agere crafts

[scotianostra]

January 15th 1803 saw the birth of Marjory Fleming, "Pet Marjory", child writer and poet, who died in 1811 of meningitis at the age of 8 years and 11 months.

One of my favourite, yet tragic tales, young Pet Marjory is a touching story of a wee lass that packed so much into her short life.

Marjory Fleming was an extraordinary child prodigy, she left poems, letters and a journal that are now one of the treasures of the National Library of Scotland; and in 1889 Sir Leslie Stephen, Virginia Woolf's father, wrote an entry about her for the original Dictionary of National Biography, believing that 'no more fascinating infantile author has ever appeared. What makes this all the more remarkable is, Marjory was a mere 8 years old when she died.

It’s been said she was a distant relative of Sir Walter Scott, although there is no real evidence they ever met Robert Louis Stevenson and Mark Twain also thought highly of her.

Marjory spent most of her sixth, seventh and eighth years in Edinburgh being tutored by her teenage cousin, Isabella Keith. Isabella is mentioned is the somewhat odd opening line of Marjory’s famous journal: ‘Many people are hanged for Highway robbery Housebreking Murder &c. &c. Isabella teaches me everything I know and I am much indebted to her she is learnen witty & sensible.’

Marjory returned to Kirkcaldy in July 1811, and wrote on 1 September to her cousin, ‘We are surrounded with measles at present on every side’. She herself contracted measles in November and although she apparently recovered, died in December from what is now thought to have been meningitis. She was a month short of her ninth birthday.

Marjory was an accomplished and witty poet and diarist although she was not published until 50 years after her death. Her writings became hugely popular in the Victorian period albeit with the published editions altered as some her her language was thought inappropriate for an eight year old. The first account of her was given by a London journalist in the Fife Herald and reprinted as a booklet entitled Pet Marjorie: a Story of Child Life Fifty Years Ago. The nickname ‘Pet’ and the spelling of her name with ‘ie’ were inventions of her biographer: both appear on Marjory’s gravestone in Abbotshall Kirkyard, Kirkcaldy erected in 1930.

Marjory’s precocious intellect is noted in the Oxford Dictionary of National Biography: ‘She records enjoying the poems of Pope and Gray, the Arabian Nights, Ann Radcliff’s ‘misteris [sic] of udolpho’, the Newgate calendar, and ‘tails’ by Maria Edgworth and Hannah More.’ Her abilities are also apparent in the pithy comments in her journal and in her valiant attempts to write in rhyming couplets.

Robert Louis Stevenson is quoted as saying, ‘Marjory Fleming was possibly – no, I take back possibly – she was one of the noblest works of God.’

I had a hunt around and found a few of her poems and have picked out two that I liked best the first is written about her cousin with whom she lived in Edinburgh, the simplicity and innocence of the poem I must admit has brought a tear to my eye, especially as it written by a 6 year old……“

My Dear love Isabella”

Here lies sweet Isabell in bed,

With a night-cap on her head;

Her skin is soft, her face is fair,

And she has very pretty hair;

She and I in bed lie nice.

And undisturbed by rats and mice;

She is disgusted with Mr. Worgan,

Though he plays upon the organ.

Her nails are neat, her teeth are white,

Her eyes are very, very bright;

In a conspicuous town she lives,

And to the poor her money gives;

Here ends sweet Isabella’s story,

And may it be much to her glory.I love in Isa’s bed to lie,

Oh, such joy and luxury!

The bottom of the bed I sleep,

And with great care within I creep;

Oft I embrace her feet of lillys,

But she has gotten all the pillys.

Her neck I never can embrace,

But I do hug her feet in place.

The manuscripts of Marjory Fleming’s writings can be seen in the National Library of Scotland online here https://digital.nls.uk/marjory-fleming/archive/100989212

#scotland #scottish #history #child prodigy #poet

[talesofthetigerrr]

#TigeRRR2023 Prompt List

Dear RRR fandom, dear Bheem fans,

We hereby present you the entire list of prompts that were submitted by you in the past week (at the end of this post). We’re so excited about all these inspiring prompts! You can use them to inspire yourself to start creating, but also feel free to make Bheem-centric works that are not based on these prompts.

Feel free to start sharing your work right away and we’ll reblog them to this Tumblr-page (don’t forget to add the #TigeRRR2023 tag so we can find it!). If we accidently miss your work because of the algoritm, feel free to send us a message with a link to your post so we can reblog it afterall.

Please publish your works before May 10!

From May 10 to May 19, for those interested, we’ll discuss and review the works from a literary and artistic point of view. On May 20 (NTR garu's birthday) we will tally the total number of works created. And to celebrate the total amount of works submitted, we will create a special celebratory fic (read more here). Read all details and planning of the event here.

Some basic rules for publishing your works:

Please tag your works on Tumblr with #TigeRRR2023.

If you publish your fanfic(s) on Ao3, you can add them to the collection 'Tales Of The TigeRRR'. If you want to, you can also put a snippet on Tumblr with a link to your story on Ao3 so we can reblog it here (don’t forget to add tags/ratings!). Please use the Tumblr-tag when posting a snippet here so we can find it.

Tag your Mature/NSFW works appropriately because there are minors in this fandom too.

Add any trigger warnings if needed, we want this event to be enjoyable for everyone.

Happy creating!!

__________________________________________________________

READ THE FULL PROMPT LIST BELOW

PROMPT LIST

1. More of a question - what is Bheem's role in the politics of the workings of the Gond tribe? We know he is the protector, but does he have more of a role than that? Does he have any sway in the goings-on of his community? If so, how much? Does he settle disputes? How does he decide morally, who's in the wrong? How does this affect his interpersonal relationships with his tribe?

2. Eyes, Heart, Warmth, Strength, Love.

3. Bheem and reflecting on being the gond protector. Either before or after he accepts the mantle. An introspection into what that role encompasses.

4. Bheem + medical abilities?

5. Bheem + food? (Cooking/sharing/enjoying)

6. Bheem writing poems to ram 💗

7. Bheem and his brothers spent six months searching for Malli before zeroing in on Scott's palace as the location where she was likely to be. What was their journey like from the relative safety of their forest to the bustling city of Delhi. What all dangers did they have to contend with. And what were their experiences before they reached Delhi.

8. Bheem and Ram recreate Naatu Naatu for the benefit of their respective communities at a common celebration. While their first dance at the Gymkhana club had been one of joyful abandon and pure friendship, how have they changed when they dance together again. They are still friends and they still care deeply about each other. But they have also suffered, which has changed them in fundamental ways, both physically and emotionally. What does it mean to dance together as changed people?

9. Unlike his usual dutifulness, Bheem feels like spending a day doing absolutely nothing— especially now that they are back from Delhi with Malli safe and Ram back in Vizagapatnam. What does Bheem do on his day off?

10. Akhtar meets an astrologer who foretells his future. But the blind seer talks in riddles and metaphors. However, does Akhtar know what is coming his way. What does he make of it?

11. Bheem's wedding gift for Lacchu on his big day.

12. What was it like for Bheem growing up? What was he like as a child? And how did he become the chosen Gond Protector?

13. Something with Bheem and water.

14. After everything that has happened, Bheem is plagued by nightmares about it all. Who will be there to protect the protector and ease his mind?

15. Bheem deserves all the good things. Please, let there also be wholesome fic or art in which he gets all the good things he deserves (platonic please).

16. Five times Bheem comforted someone else and one time he himself was comforted.

17. How did Bheem react when he found out Malli was abducted?

18. Love, fluff, cuddling, danger, adventure, animal transformation, cuteness, Bheem and Malli, betrayal, hurt/comfort, nsfw sub/dominant, home sickness, food.

19. Ram cooks for Bheem.

20. A poem either about Bheem or written by Bheem.

21. Who protects the Protector? Bheem gets in trouble or gets hurt or sick, and someone comes to save him/take care of him.

22. Bheem travels to see the sea for the first time in his life. What does he think?

23. In this universe Bheem grows old and looks back on his life, the struggles he survived, the friends he made along the way, the love he found and the freedom that his people now enjoy. In this universe everything turned out alright in the end. Bonus if he meets any of his old friends.

24. Bheem confesses his love to someone in the most tender, heartwarming, wholesome way.

25. Bheem meeting any of Ram Charan's other characters from other movies and teaching them a wise life lesson.

26. Art prompt: Bheem getting all the hugs and cheek kisses from all our fav characters from RRR.

27. Art prompt: Bheem and a tiger, or Bheem and his element water.

28. Art or fic prompt: Bheem reflecting on the scars given to him by Ram (please tag accordingly / add trigger warnings if needed). Big bonus if you add someone to comfort/support him.

29. Bheem teaching Malli how to plant a tree and the importance of nature.

30. AU with Bheem as a farmer who befriends a tiger.

31. Bheem finds a wounded animal (your choice) and decides to nurse it back to health.

32. What was Bheem doing/feeling/thinking the moment malli was taken or the moment the British first found the Gonds.

33. Bheem is learning a bit of english to communicate with Jenny and he tries to read Ram's diary when he comes to his house to find him sleeping on his desk.

34. Bheem shows ram the animals he has been hiding / Ram somehow finds them.

35. How Bheem found his adoptive muslim family and how they accepted or offered to hide him and the boys.

36. Bheem is deaf/blind.

37. Bheem's thought process and feelings right after Malli was taken.

38. Bheem finds an injured toger cub while on a hunt and nurses the cub back to health. Mali or Ram could help him with the cub. Bheem has to release the cub back into the wild when she/he is healthy again. But the cub grows up and remembers Bheem and his kindness. Possibly the grown cub comes to Bheem's aid in some way?

39. Soft as silk but strong as steel.

40. Bheem is cared for by Ram in prison after the whipping, emphasis on Bheem's perspective--his confusion, hurt, anger and love.

41. The scene where Bheem goes to Jenny for blueprints and how it pans out.

42. Father Bheem taking care of his baby while jenny is away for the day. (Can replaced Jenny with Ram depending on writer's preferences)

43. This is an au (how Akhtar and Ram meet) Akhtar's bedroom shares a thin wall with the adjacent house where Ram's bedroom is and one night he hears Ram crying more than ever and talks to him through the wall.

#tigerrr2023 #bheem #komuram bheem #komaram bheem #rrr #rrr fanart #rrr fanfic #rrr fandom #rrr movie

[2busyatchb4urshist-alt]

i know that im having a Moment but still

i want to talk about it

either i'm sleep deprived or idk what

they wont answer my messages aaaaaaa

dont caffeine at 8 pm

its almost 12

fuck the patriarchy

men are scary

apollo, my beloved, please save me

i dont want to people tomorrow

gay gay gay gay gay gay gay

its raining

theres so many noises

aaaaeaaaaaaaeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaeeaeeeeeeeeeaaaa

neck tic go brrrrr

vocal tics went brrrrr earlier

ouchy

i want to embroider my skin

im just a little gay in a big straight world

tattooooooooooooooos

aaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaa

vampires cool

elf elf elf elf elf elf elf elf elf elf elf elf elf elf elf elf elf elf elf

im a vampire by rumor

rumor rumor rumor rumor rumor rumor rumor rumor

dirty mind

ghosties are cool

ghosting is not cool, apollo

poem

i really like edgar allen poe

i think hes cool

ravens are preeetty

crows are vvv smart

its midnight

im only wearing one glove

skulls are pretty

nevermore nevermore nevermore nevermore nevermore nevermore

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaahhhh

water go drip drip drip

raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn

lets just rock back and forth until we feel better

i need hugs

birthday next month

elves are reallly cool and it makes me happy

pointy earssssss <3

woooooooooooooo

the red squiggle makes me happy

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

chicken

elf

fae

the fae are coool

they taek your name

take my legalname pleeasee

bum bum bum

aaaaaaapooooolllllloooooo

i think theyre still zonked on fever

what day is it

christmas is coming

decorating a christmas treee was originally a paegan tradition

fuck christiians

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhaaa

bone faeries are just friendly guys

give them your fucking bones already

strange noises go brrrrrr

[otmaaromanovas]

126 years ago today, Grand Duchess Tatiana Nikolaevna was born at Peterhof Palace to Tsar Nicholas II and Alexandra Feodorovna.

Nicholas II wrote in his diary that night: ‘The second bright happy day in our family life: at 10.40 in the morning the Lord blessed us with a daughter — Tatiana. Poor Alix suffered all night without shutting her eyes for a moment, and at 8 o’clock went downstairs to Amama’s bedroom. Thank God this time it all went quickly and safely, and I did not feel nervously exhausted. Towards one o’clock the little one was bathed and Yanyshev read some prayers. Mama arrived with Xenia; we lunched together. At four o’clock there was a Te Deum [religious service to give thanks]. Tatiana weighs 8% pounds and is 54 centimetres long. Our eldest is very funny with her. Read and wrote telegrams.’

Five months later, Nicholas II wrote in a letter to his mother: ‘Our little daughters are growing, and turning into delightful happy little girls… Olga talks the same in Russian and in English and adores her little and adores her little sister. Tatiana seems to us, understandably, a very beautiful child, her eyes have become dark and large. She is always happy and only cries once a day without fail, after her bath when they feed her.’

Tatiana was named after Tatiana Larina from the famous poem Eugene Onegin, fulfilling the Tsar’s dream of having two daughters named ‘Olga’ and ‘Tatiana’ after the Larina sisters.

Happy birthday Tatiana Nikolaevna!

#tatiana nikolaevna #tatiana romanov #diaries #sources #Romanovs #my own #birthdays

[uraandri]

ok poetry challenge update cause i am doing fuck all in this library anyway: struggling with @8-bitdyke's submission for february - shortest month and probably longest poem i'll learn this year but a communist never gives up. for march i'm gonna pick one from čolak's little anthology of the lyrics of poets of the people's liberation struggle, haven't decided which one yet but i will let you know. that leaves april free for any submissions in either srpsko-hrvatski or english (i can do french as well) and may is reserved for cesarić's balada iz predgrađa cause it's my aunt's favourite poem and that's her birthday month

#any other suggestions are always welsome #ura.txt #poetry challenge

[gxmonth]

Presenting GX Month 2022 prompt list!

Each week has a set number of prompts that you can pick and choose from. You can make a separate piece for each, or combine multiple into one! All forms of creative media are welcome - art, fic, edits, poems, AMVs, etc. Celebrate GX your way!

Additionally there is a “specialty prompt” section that you can sub out or pair with any of the weekly prompts.

Last note, there was a request for “Duel Academy is an art school”. I decided to make the official prompt “AUs and Crossovers”, but I want to give the art school a shout out because it’s a really cool idea!

Make sure to tag all submissions with gxmonth2022!

Special thanks to @kreidekaiser​ for this year’s banner!

Update: Small reminder that OC work is always welcome, and an additional change from last year: After reviewing tumblr’s Community Guidelines and the help desk page about adult content, I discovered that “written content, such as erotica” is still allowed on tumblr. Therefore I’ll be allowing NSFW fic submissions this year.

Make sure to properly tag this content, the characters involved are proper age, and hide it behind a read more line or an outside link or it will not get reblogged.

*

Week 1: Aug 31 - Sept 7 Happy Birthday! Superhero(s) Playing to win You and me This wasn’t my idea

Week 2: Sept 8 - Sept 15 Elite trio AUs and Crossovers Movie night What If Soulmates

Week 3: Sept 16 - Sept 23 Scream Heartbeat Help me Runaway Reunion

Week 4: Sept 22 - Sept 30 Echoes The past I wish I met you sooner I am who I am Laying down my armor

*

Specialty prompts

Protagonist Roulette! Shuffle the characters between their roles in the story or swap the GX cast into the plot of a different YGO series.

If they were there. Mix and match the anime only and manga only characters. Show what they’d be up to in the other version of the story.

YGO GX in 2022. Our beloved cast would be in their 30s now so how are their lives going? Who’s married? Who’s got kids? What jobs do they have?

#YGO GX #ygogx #yugioh gx #yu gi oh gx #gxmonth2022

[roosterbox]

Fic Rec Friday 8/18/23

Title: Sigh No More

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom

Relationship: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier

Characters: Erik Lehnsherr, Charles Xavier

Summary: A gentle song, sung, and played, in the depths of a cold winter night.

———

Oh boy. This one is kinda special to me, not gonna lie. For a few reasons.

Firstly, it’s just a beautiful piece of writing. A bit abstract and lyrical. Poetic, even. It reads as if it were actually a poem. There’s no dialogue, no names, just descriptions. But it’s still obvious who’s who. It’s so soft, and the love is palpable in every word, every sentence.

Secondly, it’s short, but incredibly sweet. Not a word is wasted. Not a single thought is excessive or unnecessary. Like a painting; every brush stroke is a lovely piece of a whole.

Thirdly, and this is the part that really fucking blows my mind, it was written for me! On my birthday! This is the only time anyone ever gifted me a birthday fic and I just. Every time I re-read it, I remember that and get choked up. Well, at least part of my emotions are due to the fic just being a masterpiece, but the gift part helps, lol.

I feel like this one is a little underrated in the fandom, and it really shouldn’t be. It’s truly a beautiful story - check it out if you can!

———

Next Week: I have been absolutely DEVOURING a shit-ton of Narumitsu fics for the past few days. Even added like 20 more fics to my bookmarks. How about one of these new additions?

This is one I read many months ago, but didn’t favorite it then, for some reason (I am a dumb). Took me forever to find it again. Not going to say much, other than that the fic’s title is absolutely perfect. It feels like the title of an actual case in an Ace Attorney game. And that’s so fun.

See you next week! Peace and love!

#fic rec friday #cherik #writer: tamarieladoness #short fic #so fucking gorgeous #I adore this just as much now #as I did when it was first posted #a perfect birthday gift #❤️❤️❤️

[coochiequeens]

Today for Women History Month we honor the birthdays of two women in the arts, Janet Collins and Amanda Gorman

Janet Collins (March 7, 1917 – May 28, 2003) was an African American ballet dancer, choreographer, and teacher. She performed on Broadway, in films, and appeared frequently on television.[1] She was among the pioneers of black ballet dancing, one of the few classically trained Black dancers of her generation.

Janet Faye[2] Collins was born in New Orleans, and at the age of four moved with her family to Los Angeles, California, where Collins received her first dance training at a Catholic community center. She studied primarily with Carmelita Maracci, Lester Horton, and Adolph Bolm, who were among the few ballet teachers who accepted black students. She also had fond memories of studying with Los Angeles dance teacher Dorothy Lyndall.

Amanda S. C. Gorman[1] (born March 7, 1998)[2] is an American poet and activist. Her work focuses on issues of oppression, feminism, race, and marginalization, as well as the African diaspora. Gorman was the first person to be named National Youth Poet Laureate. She published the poetry book The One for Whom Food Is Not Enough in 2015. In 2021, she delivered her poem "The Hill We Climb" at the inauguration of U.S. President Joe Biden.

Her inauguration poem generated international acclaim, and shortly thereafter, two of her books achieved best-seller status, and she obtained a professional management contract. In February 2021, Gorman was highlighted in Time magazine's 100 Next list under the category of "Phenoms", with a profile written by Lin-Manuel Miranda.[3] That same month, Gorman became the first poet to perform at the Super Bowl, when she delivered her poem "Chorus of the Captains" at Super Bowl LV.

Born in Los Angeles, California,[5][6] Gorman was raised by her single mother, Joan Wicks, a 6th-grade English teacher in Watts,[7] with her two siblings.[5][8] Her twin sister, Gabrielle, is an activist[9] and filmmaker.[10]Gorman has said she grew up in an environment with limited television access.[11] She has described her young self as a "weird child" who enjoyed reading and writing and was encouraged by her mother.[5]

Gorman has an auditory processing disorder and is hypersensitive to sound.[5] She also had a speech impediment during childhood.[12][13]Gorman participated in speech therapy during her childhood and Elida Kocharian of The Harvard Crimson wrote in 2018, "Gorman doesn't view her speech impediment as a crutch—rather, she sees it as a gift and a strength."[14] Gorman told The Harvard Gazette in 2018, "I always saw it as a strength because since I was experiencing these obstacles in terms of my auditory and vocal skills, I became really good at reading and writing. I realized that at a young age when I was reciting the Marianne Deborah Williamson quote that 'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure' to my mom."[1] In 2021, Gorman told CBS This Morning co-host Anthony Mason that she used songs as a form of speech therapy, and explained, "My favorite thing to practice was the song 'Aaron Burr, Sir,' from Hamilton because it is jam-packed with R's. And I said, 'if I can keep up with Leslie in this track, then I am on my way to being able to say this R in a poem."

#Women’s History Month #Janey Collins #March 7 #women in the arts #African American women in ballet #Amanda Gorman #African American women poets #The Hill We Climb #Best selling books by women #Call Us What We Carry

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Thursday, December 14

Spike: So, you ever think about *not* celebrating a birthday? Just to try it, I mean.

~~Older and Far Away~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Stocking Stuffers (Crossover with Minions, G) by spikesgirl58

Stake In The Heart (Buffy/Spike, G) by FairlandFae

Wake Up Call (Giles/Jenny, T) by Bobbie23

Like Old Times (Buffy/Spike/Angel, NC-17) by MillennialCryBaby

Spice (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by honeygirl51885

Art Therapy (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by scratchmeout

Everything (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by honeygirl51885

The Mistletoe is Hangin' Above and Everybody's Lookin' for Love (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by honeygirl51885

The Merry Month of Magnus Presents...Tis The Damn Season (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by TheSunnySlayer

The Wingman (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Dusty

[Chaptered Fiction]

Amara Time, Chapter 11 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Joan963z

2 Spikes 1 Buffy, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Spikelover4ever

Destiny or Choices Made?, Chapter 34 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by charmed4lifekaren

Cherry on Top, Chapter 15 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Maxineeden

To All We Guard, Chapter 13 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by simmony

Rise, Chapter 22 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by CheekyKitten

Harry's Next Great Adventure in Sunnydale, Chapter 13 (Crossover with Harry Potter, FR21) by Khatix

Cross Purposes 4, Chapter 45 (Multiple crossings, FR13) by DianeCastle

Side Effects, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, AO) by hulettwyo

A Very Summers Winter, Chapter 14 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by VeroNyxK84

A odd Couple of grumpy old Brits, Chapter 8 (Buffy/Spike, G) by Julikobold

Spuffy's Little Helper, Chapter 14 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by Alyot

Poems in A Minor, Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, R) by all-choseny

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork:Angel & Spike vampire portraits - Oil on linen by murkycrush

Artwork:buffy and dawn commission by all-seeing-ifer

Video:Dusk Rising by isevery0nehereverystoned

Gifset: Buffy the Vampire Slayer | 4x22 "Restless" by mycatismyfriend

Gifset:"With the bed in the distance. Giles' feet are on the top step. They don't move. Neither does Jenny Calendar." by mycatismyfriend

Gifset:BUFFY SUMMERS IN BEWITCHED, BOTHERED, AND BEWILDERED by detectivedawnsummers

Gifset:How you doing? by charmedslayer

Gifset:DAWN SUMMERS - Buffy the Vampire Slayer | 6.14 “Older and Far Away” by whatisyourchildhoodtrauma

Gifset:favorite couples: buffy summers & angel the vampire by rainagainstthewindowatnight

Video: Buffy, The Vampire Slayer - Ooh La La La by Boo Harder

[Reviews & Recaps]

Everyone is real except you 😬 | Buffy the Vampire Slayer 5x13 "Blood Ties" | Normies Group Reaction! by The Normies

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 7X01 REACTION | First Time Watching by EvilQK

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER 7X02 REACTION | First Time Watching by EvilQK

HE'S BACK!!!! - Angel Reaction - 5x8 - Destiny by TheLexiCrowd

Tough Love: Buffy the Vampire Slayer 5x19 Reaction by Dakara

Spiral: Buffy the Vampire Slayer 5x20 Reaction by Dakara

The BTVS Twisted Guide S02E03: School Hard by Twisted View

Podcast: Girl Rights & Girl Wrongs - Angel S05E09 - Harm’s Way by Pop Culture Role Call

[Community Announcements]

James Marsters to Attend Whispers from the Hellmouth in Paris 20-21 April 2024 by DontKillSpike

New Year...new changes to the community by Comment Fic

[Fandom Discussions]

reasons btvs could have used for Spike getting is soul back if Seeing Red never existed by aphony-cree

[Faith loves Buffy] by juanabaloo

BTVS doesn't get enough credit for ending the "secret identity" plotlines at the right spot by runawaymarbles

Classifying Vampires by NotASlayer

Who has better hair? by multiple authors

Does Anyone Else Hate the Slayer Line Origin Story? [Cont.] by multiple authors

Cordelia and Glory Parallels by multiple authors

"How many hostiles would you say you've slain?" by multiple authors

Am I the only one who wanted Buffy to be with Xander? by multiple authors

These two by multiple authors

Did Buffy get too human for fans to appreciate? by multiple authors

Excited first time watcher by multiple authors

The series finale "Chosen" doesn't feel as epic as it should and it ends too abruptly by multiple authors

What do you think Faith’s presents were for Buffy and Joyce? Also, in the “Dawn always existed” universe, what did she get Dawn? by multiple authors

I just noticed this foreshadowing… by multiple authors

First time viewer update by multiple authors

Bronze scene in Dead Things by multiple authors

Buffy should've kicked everyone out of her house in "Empty Places" by multiple authors

Wtf happened in Season 3-4? by multiple authors

Willow = Spoiled by multiple authors

Character beat your sad ended? by multiple authors

Do you prefer the "Buffy" movie or "Buffy: The Origin"? by multiple authors

Was Buffy a self-absorbed friend? by multiple authors

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

Join the editor team :)

#btvs

[joshlee5881]

10 unique present ideas!

The Art of Thoughtful Giving:

Choosing the perfect gift involves a balance of consideration, personalization, and a sprinkle of creativity. Let's delve deeper into why each of these ideas makes for an excellent, affordable gift.

1. Personalized Recipe Book:

Cooking is not just about preparing a meal; it's an experience, a journey of flavors and memories. A personalized recipe book turns this journey into a keepsake. As you compile your favorite recipes, consider the stories behind each dish. Did a particular recipe become a family tradition? Was there a memorable occasion attached to a certain meal? Including these details adds layers of sentiment to the gift.

2. Customized Photo Calendar:

A photo calendar transcends the ordinary and becomes a visual narrative of shared moments. The careful selection of photos for each month allows you to curate a story. From birthday celebrations to quiet Sunday mornings, each picture captures a snippet of life. The calendar, hung on the wall or placed on a desk, serves as a daily reminder of the joyous times shared with loved ones.

3. DIY Spa Day Kit:

In our fast-paced lives, a spa day is a luxury. However, with a thoughtfully curated DIY spa kit, you're bringing that luxury to your friend's doorstep. Consider scents and products that promote relaxation – lavender for calming, eucalyptus for invigorating. Add a personalized note suggesting they take a well-deserved break, and you've gifted not just items but a moment of tranquility.

4. Handcrafted Scented Candles:

Candles have an enchanting quality, casting a warm glow and infusing the air with delightful scents. Creating your own scented candles allows you to tailor them to your friend's preferences. Experiment with combinations like vanilla and cinnamon or fresh linen. The act of making them by hand adds a personal touch, making these candles more than just décor – they become a sensory experience.

5. Movie Night Basket with Snacks:

A movie night basket is a versatile and enjoyable gift. It caters to both the film enthusiast and those who simply enjoy a cozy night in. The selection of snacks can be tailored to their taste – from classic popcorn and candies to gourmet treats. Include a variety of movie genres or focus on their favorites. It's an invitation to unwind, indulge, and enjoy the magic of cinema.

6. Plant or Succulent in a Cute Pot:

Bringing a piece of nature indoors is a gift that keeps on giving. A plant or succulent, known for its low maintenance, adds a touch of greenery to any space. Pair it with a cute, decorative pot that complements their style. This gift not only enhances their surroundings but also symbolizes growth and longevity.

7. Handwritten Letter or Poem:

In our digital age, a handwritten letter or poem stands out as a rare and meaningful gesture. Pouring your thoughts onto paper requires time and intention, making the recipient feel truly valued. Consider recounting shared memories, expressing gratitude, or simply sharing your feelings. This tangible expression of emotion becomes a cherished memento.

8. Puzzle or Board Game:

Games have a magical ability to bring people together, fostering laughter, friendly competition, and bonding. Choosing a puzzle or board game that aligns with your friend's interests ensures the gift is both entertaining and thoughtful. It's an opportunity to create lasting memories during game nights filled with camaraderie and shared joy.

9. Hand-Painted Coffee Mug:

A hand-painted coffee mug turns a daily ritual into a personalized experience. Consider your friend's preferences – do they enjoy quirky designs, inspirational quotes, or simple elegance? Every sip from the mug becomes a moment of connection, reminding them of your thoughtfulness with each use.

10. Homemade Cookies or Treats:

Homemade treats have a special place in the world of gifts. Baking a batch of cookies or crafting a delicious dessert shows that you've invested time and effort into creating something unique. Package them in a way that reflects the occasion

Where to find all these products in one convenient place: https://kit.co/JoshLee5881/gift-ideas

#christmas #christmas time #gift ideas #christmas gift #holiday

[sweetorbit]

【SO dub】 Four Seasons Manor Phase II - Private School, Word of Honor 【SIMs 4 - TRS4】

【SO汉化】🌺四季山庄二期 全平台上岸 【模拟人生4汉化】

【SO dub】 Four Seasons Manor Phase II  -  Private School, Word of Honor【SIMs 4 - TRS4】

🌸四季山庄二期1129竣工大典 🏔️四季山庄，传承不绝，快来入学！

【译制语言Language】 ✔️简体中文 Simplified Chinese.   ✔️繁体中文 Traditional Chinese.   ✔️英语 English.

🌸国内分享平台 Sharing platform： 0000 小红书Xiaohongshu、0222 爱发电afdian、 0511 微博weibo、0603 sssj论坛(UID: 12721)

🏔️国外分享平台 Sharing platform：       1129 Patreon、1640 Tumblr

【 一些些碎碎念/ Something wants to share 】

Hello呀~我亲爱的🍊橘子皮和🥚山蛋蛋们~   这里是甜蜜环绕SweetOrbit🐾「SweetOrbit_soJZ99」

Hello! Guys~ This is SweetOrbit🍊「SweetOrbit_soJZ99」.

历时4个月，我汉化的初心——四季山庄二期终于要正式举行揭牌仪式了~

4 months past, the original intention of my chineseization -- "Four Seasons Manor Phase II" finally finished!!!

从8月发现模组开始，到灵感迸发，构想到结合山河令四季山庄的设定来制作汉化

When I first found the mod in August, an idea popped into my head, then the follow-up is the process of turning the idea into reality. The background sets in Four Seasons Manor, which is from the Costume Wuxia Drama -- Word of Honor. Referring to the setting, I started to chinesize.

之后反复查看原著、剧本、剧集，反复抠细节、查诗词，寻找最适配的剧情和台词……

Thus, I repeatedly checked the original story, script and episodes, repeatedly keyed in the details and checked the poems to find the most suitable plot and lines.

经过3个月的反复调整测试，终于在10月份完成中文版的竣工

After 3 months of adjustments and tests again and again, the Chinese version was finally completed in October.

后续邀请了@b仔不吃香菜  参与英文版译制的工作 （谢谢我家B仔，和她家也很努力的茶茶~）

In November, I invited my friend -- @b仔不吃香菜 to do the English translation. Thanks BB & her cat~

(b仔：No problem. )

终于，终于在今天， 龚俊（山河令中温客行的扮演者）生日的这个好日子 2022.11.29. 

我们的🌺四季山庄二期🌺终于要和大家见面啦~

Today!

Yep! It’s today!

On Gong Jun (The role of Wen Kexing in Word of Honor)’s birthday -- 2022.11.29,

Four Seasons Manor Phase II finally meets you! 

HAPPY GONGJUN DAY  2022.11.29.

HAPPY GONGJUN DAY    2022.11.29.

【 基本信息/ Basic Information】

❤️ 汉化灵感源自/ Inspired by 💙 山河令 Word of Honor

🌼模组名称/ Mod name： 私立学校 Private School_v4.7

🌼模组作者/ Mod author: SHEnanagins & adeepindigo

🌼汉化译制/ Translator： 甜蜜环绕SweetOrbit_soJZ99

🌼英文转译&英文校对/ English Translator： @b仔不吃香菜

🌼英文转译参考/ Translation reference： 山河令 Word of Honor (YouTube)/@SONG_51129

【 译制-游戏模组介绍 】 【Translation - Introduction to the Game Mod】

简单地说，此次发布的是我从8月就开始制作的，Simston Private School Mod的《山河令Word of Honor》主题向译制， 译制文件含中文和英文。

Simply put, this game is Word of Honor’s theme-oriented translation of Simston Private School Mod that I’ve been working on since August.

The translation file contains both Chinese and English.

原模组是 [ 国外邀请私立学校校长来家里考察家庭+就读] 的一整个流程体系

我把它译制成了贴合 中国古装新武侠题材影视剧《山河令 Word of Honor》的背景设定：

I translated it to fit the setting of the new Chinese martial arts drama -- Word of Honor.

模拟市民家长邀请秦怀章庄主到家里来对家庭中的小初高的孩子（那也是四季山庄第五代预备弟子的身份咯）进行考察

The parents of the simulated citizens invited the Leader of Four Seasons Manor -- Qin Huaizhang  to their homes to conduct a visit to the family's children (namely, the fifth generation preparatory disciple of Four Seasons Manor) in elementary and junior high school.

通过后，孩子就能拜入四季山庄��下练武学习，以及体验其中各种各样的岭之互动buffs~

After the examination, the child will be able to join the Four Seasons Manor to practice martial arts, as well as experience a variety of interactive buffs of the drama.

所以，预热投票的答案是：

山庄第五代弟子是成岭的  

师 叔

或🍊？或🥚？你答对了吗？

So, The answer to this Warm-Up Game is

[师叔 / Uncle Master]

Did you get it right？

【安装介绍/ Installation Introduction】

私立学校Private School模组版本为4.7

内置以下安装文件：

Mod安装需要注意以下几点：

Several points you need to pay attention to while installation:

①、因有ts4script文件，所以模组放置必须小于1子文件夹（上图橘框所示），即：           X:\Documents\Electronic Arts\The Sims 4\Mods\文件夹   提醒：Mods夹内的文件夹名称不宜太长，要不游戏难以读取 

Because of the ts4script file, the module placement must be less than or equal to 1 subfolder (shown in the orange box above), i.e.

X: \Documents\Electronic Arts\The Sims 4\Mods\ Folder

②、两个HSY_REQUIRED文件（上图蓝框）要求模拟人生4游戏版本为1.90及以上，且有高中时代DLC；

Two HSY_REQUIRED files require Sims 4 game version 1.90 and above, and High School Year DLC (blue box above)

③、GTW_REQUIRED文件（上图红框）需要来去上班，建议有此DLC的友友必安！

The red box GTW_REQUIRED file needs to Get To Work, it is recommended that friends who have this DLC to install

④、完整安装如上图所示      【原模组+我的译制文件（简中/繁中/英 任选其1即可）.都要安装】

[ original mod + my translation files should be installed ]

(choose ONE translation file according to version/language)

备注： 此模组作者已做更新，v4.7版起不再需要XmlInjector和Triplis的退学模组 Note: The author of this mod has done an update, it no longer requires the XML injector nor Triplis' Quit/Rejoin school mod.

🍊❤️💙🌊📌🏔️🌸🍬💞🐶🐾🐱🌟☪️🌛👸🐲🍎🍇🍉🥝🎵🥚

【译制文件-游戏模组下载/  DOWNLOAD】

🔴 -CHS_CN： 无论游戏语言的繁简，均显示简体中文；                   Simplified Chinese translation ALWAYS be displayed regardless of the game's language.

🔵 -CN： 跟随游戏语言显示对应的繁简汉化；                            Follow the game language display corresponding to the translation of simplified Chinese or traditional Chinese.

🟠 -ENG_US：全英文，中文版游戏也显示英文；All English.

🌊v4.7 简/繁中文 下载 Download Chinese Translation：SFS

🌊v4.7 英译 下载 Download English Translation：SFS 📌原模组下载/ Download Mod：私立学校 Private School

四季山庄 得佳徒如你 传承不绝

With a superb disciple like you,

the heritage of the Four Seasons Manor

will live on.

期待着你们的加入~ HAVE FUN~

🍊❤️💙🌊📌🏔️🌸🍬💞🐶🐾🐱🌟☪️🌛👸🐲🍎🍇🍉🥝🎵🥚

【游戏截图/Game screenshots】

仅供参考，实际内容以文件为准

This is for your reference only.

中文版：简中/繁中

  ENGLISH

[Word of Honor] EP01 | Costume Wuxia Drama | Zhang Zhehan/Gong Jun | YOUKU - YouTube

#山河令 - YouTube

我的免费的专属于俊哲的WoH电圈

#山河令 #山河令 word of honor #word of honor #shan he ling #junzhe #lld #龚俊simon #张哲瀚 #zhang zhehan #gong jun #wen kexing #zhou zishu #wenzhou #shl #zzs #wkx #周子舒 #温客行 #the sims4 #sims 4 #tsm to ts4 #ts4 gameplay #ts4 simblr

[continuums]

your closure

I don’t believe we have to offer forgiveness to those who have deeply hurt us. I don’t think it’s a requirement for healing. What I do believe is that practicing forgiveness is less about being okay with everything and more about accepting everything. You can’t change what happened, but you can decide some of what happens next. That’s how forgiveness can help you show up from a new story.

-Lisa Olivera, Already Enough

I want my books back, but I don’t want to text you about it again. I deleted your number from my phone because that Feeld match I met up with a couple weeks after our terrible final date shares too many letters in common with yours (I put his full name in my phone the second I knew it to minimize the jump scares). The shape of your name still spells out pain, or whatever Swift said (I’ve listened to “closure” so many times). I know you’re waiting, convinced that you can just give them to me in-person when I change my mind and agree to be friends. I know that hypothetical conversation that you proposed would be about “closure” in our final phone call would actually be able me reassuring you that it is okay that you gaslit me for 5 months, manipulated me by promising me something you knew you could not deliver, and at best ignored my telling you how difficult it was for me to trust men and at worst exploited that. I have done so much emotional labor for you. I do not want to do any more. 

I want my copy of Maggie Nelson’s Something Bright, Then Holes back because it got me through a break-up with someone who I truly, deeply loved and was truly, deeply hurt by his leaving my life (he didn’t stay away long). I am not writing this to be hurtful or thinking it to self-soothe -- I am telling the truth when I say that none of the poems in it will be resonant here. Only the first 7 words of Phoebe Bridgers’ “Motion Sickness” apply, not the next 8. 

Accepting what happened means accepting that I was treated terribly by someone I had to talk myself into liking. I believed that you loved me and cared about me and wanted the best for me because you told me you did -- I do not bear any shame for that. The relationship felt so bad so much of the time, and I allowed myself to believe you when you said it was my own anxieties and neuroses and, sometimes, yours, too, which you were working so hard on addressing (while also complaining that each of your weeks was overstuffed and never going to therapy and getting high out of your ming any moment you weren’t working, which you did approximately 80 hours a week). I accept my own role in staying in this miserable relationship. I started to work out my own trauma within the relationship, convincing myself that if I could get you to give me the attention and care that I needed and that you said you wanted to give me (despite never making lasting changes toward that end), I would be worthy of those. I replayed past childhood and relationship trauma here instead of loving myself enough to say “I deserve better” and walking away. 

I accept what I have done. Do you?

(From my past entanglements with white men, I know the answer is often “no,” and so the more hopeful route for me is to not learn the answer. I don’t need your closure.) 

I accept, and I forgive myself for the role I played. I show up for a new story, one that says I deserve to be in relationships with people who fully understand, accept, and show up for me. 

5 days after the break-up, I took a wonderful woman who I’ve been seeing for a few months out for an early birthday dinner, where she gave me (who was not the birthday girl) the most thoughtful break-up care package. 

I thought about the evening after you made me cry in a bar on our last date, during one of the most emotionally trying times of my life, how I got home from a long walk and saw a flower arrangement on my doorstep and knew immediately it was not from you.

Almost 2 weeks after the break-up, I connected with someone on a dating app for a purely physical arrangement and remembered what it was like to have sex with someone who was fully present for the act and fully invested in my pleasure. 

I do not replay our sexual encounters ever because I can’t do so without having a bodily reaction remembering what I endured, remembering how I tried to fetishize it. I think about rewatching Girls to study Adam Driver’s character’s sexual proclivities to make myself feel less alone. 

He had to cancel a date a week later. I told him I’m not great at last-minute cancellations, and he sent me a long apology for not respecting my time in a difficult moment in my life. (Again, a casual dynamic)

I think of the time you cancelled a hook-up on me, and I got upset because I’d told you twice that I don’t like to be invited over and then have that invitation retracted. You called your ex to see if they agreed that my reaction was irrational. You told me that they thought it was an inappropriate reaction, that they would be fine with it. (This was a few weeks after you told me you loved me.)

I drink absinthe cocktails in a downtown basement of a speakeasy on a first date with a man who drove clear across LA to take me to the bar because he thought I’d love it. I do love it. I love the entire evening. I text my friends on the Uber home that I’d forgotten what it’s like to have a truly great first date with a man, that I usually consider them successes if he doesn’t talk the whole time and doesn’t seem like he would murder me. When I get home, he’s already planned a second date for us. 

I think of you choosing a bar you could walk to in 5 minutes for our first date. I think of how you tried to take us there for our reconciliatory cocktail after the “break” we went on, and how it was, strangely, closed. You told me you had picked it as a sort of symbol of a new beginning. The universe had other plans.