#bg3 oc: calliper

[fangsandfeels]

While Jerra is my comfort animal, I do have some other Tavs whose story became much clearer after the full game.

For instance, this is Calliper, a half-drow Great Old Ones warlock/artisan from Baldur's Gate.

Born in the Underdark, in one of the drow cities, a byproduct of a loveless (and fucked up in every way you can imagine if you know how half-drow babies happen to be born in drow society) union between a female human slave, and a male drow slave. Needless to say, both parents wanted nothing to do with her, and the reason why she was even allowed to exist was the shortage of new slaves.

Never got a name during her existence in the Underdark - other drow made it clear that she was a mistake, a disgusting dirt-blood, and the only way for her to atone for that original sin of existing was to do what she is told and pray she is useful.

She managed to escape after involuntarily making contact with a Great Old One (strongly implied to be Atropus) through her feverish and nightmare-filled dreams and siphoning its power.

Calliper doesn't exactly know what her patron is and what it wants with her. All she gets are occasional whispers and horrible visions...and she would rather keep it that way. She is terrified of what will happen if that entity actually starts paying attention to her. For that reason, she actively avoids fighting and resorting to using her powers, preferring to lie, negotiate and bullshit her way through. She doesn't need to remind her patron of her existence more than it's already aware. And yet, she is deadly with her magic when provoked.

After making it to the surface and tagging along with the very first group that didn't instantly reject her, Calliper started making herself useful by actively applying her skills at making jewelry and fine crafts (something she got very good at while serving in the Underdark as the servant of a local craftsmaker. She wasn't allowed to touch the masterpieces, of course, but she watched her work and secretly tried her hand with whatever scraps she managed to collect. Surface dwellers turned out to be much easier to impress than drow, finding great interest in what she herself would call mediocre work. As she adjusted, she chose a name for herself based on one of the first Common language words she learned.

Her life wasn't easy, but she ended up as a guild artisan in Baldur's Gate, happy to work in her studio for the guild, surrounded by pretty magical things she made as well as fixing and restoring jewelry (she particularly enjoyed working with magical trinkets, they were always fascinating). The power of her pact kept competition at bay and provided her with some protection - and this was more than she could possibly want. Or so she thought.

Calliper is...not exactly a hero/leader material or a problem-solver. At least, not initially. She goes back into her survival mode quickly because she hasn't really found a community or support to overcome her issues. Staying huddled up in her workshop, reading books, and occasionally speaking to colleagues and guild members wasn't exactly therapeutic. Being snatched from her safe place made her withdrawn, avoidant, and dodging any situations that are too risky or can end with violence. Whatever problem you have, she is not the one you need. But if you have a fancy trinket or artifact to fix, she...might take a look. It soothes her nerves, y'know.

She is well aware of the drow prejudice, and she doesn't blame people for that because she is the biggest drow hater in the room. She doesn't trust drow. She doesn't like drow. She doesn't want to see any drow near her ever again. She would end up saving the Grove just because she sees Minthara, watches her sneer at her, and call her all the words she heard in the Underdark, and it's on. She has issues with her own self-esteem and would often use Disguise Self when having to leave her home, just to avoid people staring at her.

So, being far away from home with a tadpole in her head, Calliper's only priority will be to get that thing out of her oh this can't be happening (she lived in the Underdark, she knows what mindflayers are), and she would have no clue how she is supposed to help anyone if she doesn't know how to help herself? So, as soon as she meets Wyll, she basically goes "Finally! A hero! Please, Mr. Blade of Frontiers, come with us!" and follows his advice and decisions. Well, aside from killing Karlach because Karlach's flashback just hits way too close to home.

Of course, Calliper gets swept away by the warlock rizz. She looks up to Wyll as the "only-guy-who-looks-like-he-knows-what-he-is-doing" and then, when his secret is revealed, his ordeal is so familiar on so many levels that it hurts. She sees Mizora and instantly remembers how matriarchs and their associates treated male slaves. She hears the word "pact" - and it reminds her of her patron and what it might want from her. And seeing Wyll still having the strength to continue, to smile and stay calm all this time...she is bewildered by that man and falling for him. Hard.

Even though it's been years since she left Underdark, Calliper still wrestles with the feeling that everything is wrong about her - how can't it be? She wasn't born from love. She was told her blood was filthy. That she was a mistake. She has no real place neither on the surface nor beneath it - even if she was complimented, it was always about how exotic she looked as if she was a rare trinket to pocket. Meanwhile, Wyll, makes her feel as if she is absolutely and entirely fine as she is. Her heritage doesn't make her any less worthy of those charming gestures usually described in romance novels. Wyll gives her a fairytale, except that he means every word. In turn, she grows determined to give this man his happy ending, even if it means tapping into her own powers and making hard decisions. As soon as Calliper starts seeing Wyll as more than "the hero" and realizes that this man believes in her (thanks her even for stopping him when he was wrong), she gradually starts leaving her comfort zone and pushing her limits. She is still terrified of her patron and the uncertainty, but she can no longer put the weight of facing problems on Wyll's shoulders.

#cw: abuse #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 oc ramblings #bg3 oc: calliper #wyll ravengard #bg3 wyll #wyll x tav #calliper whenever she has to feed gale an artifact: *crying cat meme* #and then calliper finds out that atropus hates clowns

[fangsandfeels]

*pats Calliper on the head* This girl can hold so much stress and poor decisions!

Guess who woke up, failed to lobotomize Us, and accidentally turned a woman into illithid by pushing a wrong button?

Shadowheart was lucky a tadpole was there to interact with the console.

Calliper isn't a stranger to survival. But she hoped she would never have to go through it again, now with the increased chance of everything going wrong. For now, she is held together by the sheer power of denial - she made it through the Underdark to the surface when she was barely out of her teens, scared out of her mind and with nothing to lose. She can't die now. She can't!

My fave Calliper moment so far: try to check if the weird half-elf is alive, but get distracted by the fancy artifact in her hand and make a less-than-stellar first impression.

She really didn't mean anything bad. She wants to save herself, but not in a "i'll-throw-you-under-the-bus-if-it-benefits-me" way - unless she is pushed or given a reason to suspect her companions would leave her behind first.

It's just...no one ever helped her out of the goodness of their hearts. It was understandable: nobody owed her, a freaky, wide-eyed half-blood from the depths of below, kindness or help.

She had to be thankful that practical value and material gain with a dash of an eldrtich blast helped surface dwellers overlook her appearance and focus on her crafting talents instead. She wouldn't ask for more - what she got was already leagues better than anything she could have had in the Underdark.

However, Calliper learned one of her first lessons well: the only person ever interested in her extended well-being is and will always be herself. In her understanding, despite all the loud speeches and claims of acceptance, locals stick with their own kin - and it's normal. She isn't anyone's kin.

But being a respected colleague and a renowned professional is good enough. She doesn't owe anyone anything beyond that - and they'll have to accept it. She is as nice as it gets - especialy, compared to her so-called "relatives" from the Underdark.

Plus, her lack of socialization is showing. Also she is interacting with others without her normal disguise, which makes her feel uneasy - Shadowheart was less-than-friendly to githyanki, who knows what she actually thinks of her?

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 oc: calliper #pairing her with wyll is going to be so much fun #i imagine she'll initially say what she thinks he wants to hear #rather than speaking from her heart #but after mizora she'll finally start opening up

[fangsandfeels]

The cute headcanon I have about Wyll and Calliper is that she has never danced before (not like she had time. or an opportunity. or people to dance with) and is very self-conscious about it, but when Wyll invites her to a dance, she wants to impress him so hard she improvises every move while trying her best to look like she knows what she is doing.

On the one hand, it works: Wyll thinks that this is how they hit the floor in the Underdark and finds her moves mesmerizing. On the other hand, at that point, Wyll would be mesmerized by Calliper even if she fumbled every step.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 oc: calliper #wyll ravengard #bg3 wyll #wyll x tav

[fangsandfeels]

Calliper, my anti-drow half-drow warlock revealing her deception to Minthara during the supposed siege of the druid Grove be like:

#“how does it feel to be played by an impure half-blood o true soul minthara?! huh?! huh?!!” #druids and refugees got saved because this girl would rather die than cooperate with drow #can imagine her vibrating with spiteful glee from the wall #bg3 oc: calliper

[fangsandfeels]

Thinking about Calliper's patron

While Atropus sounds fun and vague enough, it's heavily connected to necromancy and the undead, which isn't something Calliper does with her magic (she gets creepy, but without the emphasis on necromancy). So, I'm digging through other potential candidates that might be a better fit for her and her story. And I think, I found The One.

Zceryll the Star Spawn (Class Chronicles 3.5): Zceryll was a mortal sorceress who communed with alien powers from the far realm. She became obsessed with immortality, seeking out the alien beings in the hopes of learning their eternal secrets. When she died, she became a hideously twisted vestige, forever seeking to re-enter the Realms via numerous artifacts she dispersed across the world.

This one just works. It works so well with Calliper. I know that technically GOOs don't need a reason to become patrons. They can even be unaware of it or have reasons beyond any mortal's comprehension, which means you can get away with dropping hints now and then without ever coming clean about their motivations.

But here...there is a fit. Zceryll was a sorceress (and an inventor!) who either paved the road to her personal hell with good intentions by allying with an alien race called the Star Spawn or did so deliberately seeking eternal life and youth.

Zceryll had found a purpose in life fighting against oppression. However, due to the corruptive effects of the star-spawn she dealt with, she slowly became a twisted and bitter old hag who felt she had accomplished nothing, and became obsessed with youth. Other sources called her an irredeemable megalomaniac who valued her own life and youth above all else, having sacrificed family to unknowable beings in pursuit of those goals and eventually turning into a vestige, which transformed her into a being of pure depravity

Now, she is described as a vestige who needs to be bound to summoners...

As a vestige, Zceryll granted her binders a powerful form of telepathy that allowed them to precisely pinpoint each intelligence, and even the kind of creature being detected. Their minds in turn became alien, granting immunity to confusion, insanity, and weird alongside a more general resistance to any effect upon their minds. Their flesh was rendered that of an aberration as well, turning the binder into a pseudonatural entity.

...which I guess is tad different than the patron/warlock relationship. But here comes the delicious part:

At some point, Zceryll had created a number of artifacts, including the bone scepter of Zceryll, the star-spawn scepter, the aberrant spheres, the black blood kaleidoscope, and the rod of Taupanga. She had whispered clues to those who bound her as a vestige to guide them towards her creations.

The artifacts. Calliper's craft, interest, and passion. The only source of peace for her in the Underdark, her climbing ladder on the surface. Zceryll needs those artifacts, so she could come back, of course. And that might actually explain why she took an interest in Calliper and reached out to her, a little lonely tinkerer in the dark.

So, it is tempting to go homebrew and just make her a GOO patron. She already looks the part:

Those who summoned Zceryll described her manifestation as a swarm of mirrors, which briefly reflected a beautiful human woman, though something was amiss about her features. After this initial impression, these mirrors reflected a mass of writhing tentacles.

So, maybe she did lose herself entirely to her alien mind after centuries of being summoned, bound, and sent back to the Far Realms. Over and over. Changed by the Star Spawn and described to graft alien flesh upon hers, Zceryll is now a convoluted mess of madness, depravity, obsession with beauty, knowledge she can't fully remember, and a desire to return. Her coming in contact with Calliper might have still been accidental. Maybe it was a byproduct of a drow noble trying to summon Zceryll to get her hands on the legendary artifacts and gain an upper hand over her rivals.

Maybe Calliper might have come in touch with her dreams in her own sleep - the ones where Zceryll painted herself as a hero - mixed with nightmares and glimpses of her true form or memories of experiments. Zceryll wasn't conscious of her presence all the years Calliper lived peacefully on the surface. And then, Calliper got infected with a tadpole. She was touched by the Netherese magic.

And Zceryll saw her. A bright flash amidst the haze of her memories and reflections.

Basically, Calliper's tadpole issue is My Patron Now Tries To Talk To Me And I Don't Like It.

Not only does Calliper have to use her powers more to help people she became attached to, but also she now needs to actually learn what her patron is, what it wants, and what to do -- something she hoped to avoid for the rest of her life.

Needless to say, the bad ending for Calliper would be to actually listen to what Zceryll has to say instead of paying attention to her entire story.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 oc ramblings #bg3 oc: calliper #dnd warlock #i need a dnd adult #me to jerra and calliper: you get traumatized by your personal quest! you get traumatized by your personal quest! everyone gets traumatized #*gets smite* *gets eldritch blast*

[fangsandfeels]

Everything is about your Tav, if you're infected by the BG3 tadpole...

...so it wasn't a big surprise that this random Final Space clip gave me Calliper vibes:

Since Calliper is very hesitant about using her warlock powers, she literally has to overcome some mental barriers to do beyond her self-imposed limits. And, being a DIY warlock, she does it in the least healthy way possible, by making herself go to a very dark place.

Sadly, we're not talking about the stress of preparing for the prom here.

Calliper *as they're surrounded by gnolls with Wyll downed and Shadowheart clutching on the last hp*: Astarion, say something in Drow to me, quick!

Astarion: Really? Now is the time for you to get nostalgic?

Calliper: It is the opposite of nostalgic and this is what I need to feel if you want us all to survive!

Astarion: I don't even speak Drow! But I can call you names in Orcish if that's what gets you going...

Calliper *agitated*: It wasn't an orc matron who had me lashed! It wasn't an orc who forced a knife into my mouth! Said she'd cut off my tongue if I forgot one of her fancy titles again! *eyes start glowing* Well, who is the iblith* now, matron Jhalass?!

Astarion *backing away slowly*: I- I'm not a matron!

Calliper *levitating in the air, voice distorted*: Call me an iblith, Jhalass,

Ş̸͖̣̯͖̞͙̠̪̟͒̓̃͌͆́̄̈͛͊͘Ȁ̶̛̩̖̑̀͌̄̈́̀̇̓̚Y̸͙̦͔̻̲̩͆̀͋͂̾͗́͌̌ ̷̢̧̫͝I̶̯͉̖̾̋̋̑̓̂̂̈́̀̈́̕͝T̵͉̘͉̞͙̫̃̊͛̐̀̃̀͊̏̒̅̓ ̸͎̱̼̦̬͓̊͊̽R̴̨͉̬̀̊̎̀̽͌͗͌̏̑̽̕͜͜͝͠I̵͙͚̺̘̥̹̗̣̯͔̖̩̗͑͊̃̃̿̊G̸̨̡̛��̳̣̘̠̀̈́̅̂̊́̌́̊̀͝H̶̭̫̖̲̳̺̯͙̝̻̞̝̳̞̆͗T̴̛̟̻̲͕͙̜͚̭͍͔̙̽͌̔͒̎̓̓͐͒̅̔̚ ̷̬̤͗̅̀́̃͝N̴̛͎̪͉̳͓͚̙̹̗͐̇̆͒̍̂̀̿͒̑̈́̚̚͝Ǫ̶̨̹͈̩͙̖́̈́́͋͊̔̕͘͝͝͠͝W̵̪̠̪̘̐̏̈́̓̅̅̅͛͒́̎̿͝͝

Astarion: I don't even know what iblith means!...

Calliper: *screams like a banshee and blasts the wave of Shatter*

*iblith - 'offal',[2] 'excrement'.[24] Often used when referring to humans as well as other non-drow races. Can be used as an insult.[25]

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 oc: calliper #i had to insert astarion here because wyll would have actually told her it's not healthy #and helped her summon her strength through sheer positivity and encouragement #so astarion had to take one for the team #also drow society is fucked up and my poor half-drow girl can't catch a break

[fangsandfeels]

This screencap summarizes the early Act I Calliper in any situation better than a thousand words will:

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 oc: calliper #girl got tossed into the sea of the plot without a lifebuoy and now has to remember how to swim

[fangsandfeels]

Since I gave Calliper such a disaster of a childhood and social life, coming up with Guardians for her was quite a chore.

I literally had to ask myself: "If I was a tone-deaf mind flayer, digging through the memories of a half-drow with huge self-esteem issues, slavery trauma, deep mistrust for drow, and a general feeling of inadequacy because of her origin...what image should I come up with to gain her trust?"

Option # 1. Personal high elf hero with a shining tadpole

Since Calliper hates drow, who is the opposite of drow? High elves, of course. Graceful and benevolent beings, sun-kissed folk attuned to Fey and wonderful magic, such a stark contrast with spiders, webs, and darkness of the Underdark. Oh, but they are so untouchable, aren't they? So distant. What are the chances of meeting one? Of having such an elf treat her like someone equal, worthy of respect, deserving mentoring and protection? Wouldn't it be wonderful? Doesn't Calliper secretly seek to be accepted at least by someone of her kin, especially those so viciously hated by drow? Wouldn't she trust such a guardian, who came to her when she needed him the most, with her life?

(Spoiler: not really. Calliper has met a few High Elves in her life, and all she got was raised eyebrows, side eyes, and mixed looks of pity. To her, they truly were something distant - while she didn't explicitly hate them, she always felt there was no point in connecting with them. They would never understand. So, while the presence of a handsome and mysterious elven knight, straight from heroic tales, would have been a huge relief in her condition, and it felt nice to be acknowledged and cared for, Calliper has never exactly dreamt about such a hero - and at that point, she gave up trying to impress non-drow Tel`Quessir, so she would treat his offers with suspicion)

Option # 2. "I'm just like you!...No, seriously, I'm literally the male version of you"

Yes, no drow allowed in Calliper's headspace...but what about a fellow half-blood? Finally, someone, who looks like her, who had been through same shit as her and who understands her fears, and concerns - and is there to protect her because he know her struggles and wants to make it better. Together, they can make it through this nightmare. She doesn't have to be alone. She doesn't have to be afraid. Now, open your mind to this tadople, Calliper. Don't worry, you're not alone anymore. He will take care of you.

(This version works better with tugging at Calliper's strings. Her need for belonging at least somewhere shows. While the odds of two half-drows finding each other in ther weirdest of circumstances are sus, just too good to be true, the prospect of finding a kindred soul may have Calliper acting unwise. On the other hand, the experience with her patron taught her that she better not act unwise in her dreams and visions -- it didn't take much for her to accidentally attach herself to the forces beyond her and everyone else's comprehension. She doesn't want to repeat that. Also, if he is half-drow like her, doesn't he know how dangerous tadpoles are? Why would he want her to insert more of these things into her brain?)

Option # 3. "Mother knows best"

The Emperor's cruelest and the most fucked up way to get Calliper's trust and attention -- take a dive into her most vulnerable memories and hopes, and carve them into an avatar for himself. Because even though Calliper tries not to reflect on the obstacles of her birth, she never really stopped asking herself "What if...?". What if her mother never ended up a slave in the Underdark, never went through all of this? What if she, Calliper, was a normal girl, a welcome child, born in a loving union, somewhere under the sun? What if she was born in the world where her mother wanted her?

How would she look like? How would she sound like? How hugging her would feel like? How would it feel to have someone caring and supportive, proud of her and there for her?...

She doesn't even remember the face of the woman who was her mother. Only fragments, none of them happy or pleasant. She knows that she had to be human and that she hated her. And Calliper didn't blame her. She could care less about what happened to her biological father (hopefully, he met his brutal death, got eaten alive, and shat out by a bulette). Still, the thought of having all these powers and being unable to find and wrestle just one more person from the darkness of the Underdark and take her home kept her awake at night more than once.

And then, there it is...an oddly familiar face. A protective touch. A kind smile. Calm, motherly demeanor. Calliper has never met this woman before, yet she radiates comfort and safety. How natural would it feel to trust her? To follow her advice? To hug her as she hides her pain and exhaustion from constantly shielding them from harm?

(I hate myself for coming up with this idea. This is so fucking unfair. It's manipulation at its vilest, and it would have worked. It would have convinced Calliper to consume another tadpole at least once. And, of course, she would be ruined after learning about the deception. Fucking devastated. She'll put two and two together, realize what the Emperor did and have a mental breakdown.)

#bg3 oc: calliper #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #designing dream guardians turned into uncanny mr.incredible meme #i'd want to say that the emperor isn't THAT ruthless but somehow i imagine he'd totally go with option three #to him morality is relevant and trauma is just brain reaction #brains can be tweaked #results are only things that matter #cw: abuse #cw: sa mention #i made my choice but i still feel i'll redo it if i don't feel like this is the way the story should go

[fangsandfeels]

When I think of Calliper, I realize that I might really be getting my inspo from Ash Graven (Final Space) and Stork (Storm Hawks).

Ash just really helps with that general vibe of a girl who got affected by powers beyond comprehension, ran away from a fucked up situation, has issues connecting with people and using her powers, and really, really wants to belong as she is.

...But the general inspiration leans heavily towards Stork because he is such a great and unique character it's hard not to get inspired by him. Paranoid, pessimistic, and neurotic characters, who are in the good guy team and allowed to be brilliant, competent, and actually reasonable in their paranoia (instead of just being the comic relief) are quite rare. He was a real gem.

Of course, he and Calliper are still very different characters, but it would be a lie if I said I didn't think of him when imaging Calliper switching from "If I'm forced to make one more decision for the entire group, I'll have a heart attack"

...to "I made a decision for the entire group. It was probably a bad one. We're all gonna die"

...to "I made a decision to destroy everything you love because fuck you for sneering at me for my heritage/breaking beautiful things you didn't make for your amusement/hurting Wyll/hurting me and mine. Impending doom be damned."

#bg3 oc ramblings #bg3 oc: calliper #actually this post is hidden stork propaganda #i don't remember much of storm hawks but stork and his shenanigans are such a vivid memory #also i didn't really watch the final space. i started it then dropped it then picked it back for ash but still dropped it at some point