#belive me the internet would be a much better place if we did this everytime

[glitterspaghettiketchup]

Small guide for internet drama

screenshots or it didn't happen

if screenshots, context or it isn't real 2.5. if screenshots, is it actually proof or no

if real proof, show dates or it isn't recent 3.5. if not recent, show recent examples or it isn't accurate

Is it actually an issue or just stupid internet dicourse

If it's real and recent, do you actually need to do anything about this

If you absolutly have to do something about it, dont make stuff up

that's it, that's all you have to do

#pizza spaghetti #seriously. apply this to everything #belive me the internet would be a much better place if we did this everytime #also dont fucking harrass people jesus christ #you wouldn't wish it on your friends so why this person you dont know on the internet #text #important

[thathumanwiththecatears]

I feel like venting so this will be way too much information about my life that i am sharing on the internet because why have a private diary when you can publicly scream your problems into the void

So basically, both of my parents kinda suck. They arent the worst, but they also just kinda suck :) So before i was born my parents had my sister. And between me and my sister my mom had a miscarriage. I dont know details of that, but i know it happened. I also know that my parents were not going to have me because of not just that but also they were already not getting along very well. But then they changed their mind for some god forsaken reason (i was not an accident i was planned) and now i exist.

My parents were at the point of hating each other before i was born. They divorced when i turned 18 literally, when i turned 18 my dad started slowly taking his stuff and moving out over a few months until he was fully gone and filed for divorce. I will talk about that later. But the point of saying that now, is that ny parents hated each other for 18 years, and for some fucking idiotic reason decided it was a good idea to stay together.

I have lived in three places. My first house was this apartment where it was a 2 family house, but like first floor second floor rather than next to each other. My family lived on the first floor, my cousins family lived on the second floor. My second place was the second floor of my grandparents house and now in my current apartment been here for like 8 years.

I am usually one to say i dont remember my childhood. Thats because i have repressed it. I have few memories and they are usually bad. My parents never “hit” me so to speak. Not in the /actual abuse/ way, but i was spanked and slapped by my mom. She likes to laugh about it to people still now. Thinks its funny that she could say ”do i need to take you to the ladies room?” To me and i would stop crying. One of the biggest phrases that sticks with me is “stop crying or i will give you a reason to cry” it still hurts even now just thinking about it. The number of times i could be crying over something that to me would be a lot and have that screamed at me with hand raised is just terrible.

A specific memory that i have is on i belive either my 5th or 6th birthday, i was wearing a velvet burgundy and black dress with buttons up the middle and matching burgundy headband. I dont rememver why, but i know that something upset me and i was crying, and i was yelled at to stop crying, and i remember sitting in my room before my party trying to stop crying and make myself look okay. I had a lot of birthdays like that. Kinda why i really dont like my birthday, but it also breaks my heart whenever my birthday is ruined, cause im always a little hopeful it wont be.

Some other memories i have involve being yelled at to clean. I had a lot of pressure on me and i was never good enough. Always did something wrong. I would cry at night and wish that i could just be perfect. I didnt wish things would stop happening, i wished i could become perfect and stop messing up and do everything that was asked of me. I had to do a lot. My sister didnt, my sister was the favorite. I have always known she was the favorite. Was always treated better, always had her side taken, always was the good child, the pretty child. I delt with a lot of anger and fighting with my sister, we really didnt get along. And i think part of the reason she was the favorite was because she would always intentionally make me mad so that i would end up fighting her. I punched and kicked her, she did the same to me but i was worse. I once had her locked into a corner and was hitting her until we got in trouble. I cried in the corner for a few hours after being the only one punished.

When i was little i had already been depressed and suicidal. When i was six i wanted to be left alone to die in my room. I locked myself in and cried with music playing. My mom screamed at me that i would be taken away. Being taken away was threatened a lot. And i remember her screaming asking me if that was what i wanted. And everytime in my head i screamed yes. But i said no on the outside.

I remember hearing screaming always. My parents were always fighting, over money mostly. My mom telling my dad how worthless he was and how he didnt provide for my family. And my dad wasn’t innocent. He could have done more, but he still didnt deserve the abusive words. He was told he was worthless for years. No one deserves that. They wouldnt just be screaming at each other though. They would be screaming at me and my sister too. I flinch whenever my door is opened still because of how my mom used to slam my door open and yell at me. I flinch a lot.

In middle school i mostly lived at my grandparents. With my parents also there though. My nana and papa lived downstairs and we lived upstairs, there was only one kitchen and bathroom though both downstairs so it wasnt like an apartment. This sucked too. My nana liked my sister better. Actually she was the favorite of all the cousins. We would all talk about it, well except her. My dad would also get into fights with my grandparents. They were my moms parents and because they sided with my mom for obvious reasons, he wouldnt get along with them always.

I remember specifically sleeping on the black leather couch while home sick, up in our living room on the second floor. Watching disney jr. i stayed home sick a lot. Not because i was sick but because i was too depressed to go to school and really good at pretending to be sick.

When in 8th grade my health teacher noticed that i was depressed. He was the first person to notice. And he had me show my parents a pamphlet about it. My mom took me to a therapist. But you see, im selectively mute. I didnt know yet though, so it just came across as not wanting to talk. My mom would go with me. She would always be there, she would talk for me. She and the therapist would talk about me as i sat there unable to speak screaming about how wrong they were in my head. Eventually it was just me in the room. But i still couldnt talk freely. My mom would be told everything. All of my issues stemmed from her. I tried to bring it up once. My mom cried, made it all about her, cried about how she was a terrible mother, i was forced to tell her she wasnt and push down all of my problems and just be forced to live with that just being how it is. I cant talk about it because i dont matter. My feelings didnt matter and they never will. My goal was to just make my mom happy and not worry about myself. I just had to be perfect.

My grandparents sold the house from underneath us and we were forced to find another place. My current place. I liked it when we got here it was nice. There was a time while living here where my mom didnt have a job. That sucked a lot. She was always home. Always yelling at me. I couldnt get away. I almost never leave my room now because i have become so accustomed to just being in it. I have a vivid memory here. My bed was on a different wall of my room. I dont remember what we were fighting about. But i think what happened might have actually gotten to my mom for once. She was screaming at me and i went into my room and she followed me. I ended up on my bed as far as i could get from her crunched up into a ball saying “please dont hit me” over abd over while crying. I dont remember what happened immediately after but i do remember she left and i cried a lot.

I also remember when my sister found a paper towel with blood on it in my room. She told my mom. The worst possible thing she could have done because it lead to screaming and making things worse. I was threatened to be sent away. A big theme in this whole thing, getting sent away. I have a big fear of that still. Fear of doctors and hospitals and therapists and mental hospitals. I was threatened with them so much so that makes sense.

Once me and my sister got in a fight with my mom together. My mom later decided it would be a good idea to call us both out and tell us about how ungrateful and terrible we were and that she clould just kick us out and that she didnt owe us anything. I had a panic attack. The first time i had ever had one in front of her. I couldnt breath. I sobbed. I went to my room and fell to the floor behind the door hysterically crying and panicking. She screamed at me to stop and threatened to call 911. That for obvious reasons made it worse and made me have to force myself to get words out begging her not to and to just leave me alone so that i could calm down. Which she hated because to her she just heard “go away” as if i was just being a bratt. I eventually managed to get myself calmed down enough to semi explain what happened and got away to my room alone.

As i said earlier my dad left when i turned 18. It broke my heart when i realized that it was literally because of the fact that i had turned 18. You see in my dads eyes, he couldnt leave sooner because he didnt want to walk out on me and my sister. I think if they had just divorced sooner things would have gone better. I wouldnt have had to deal with hearing screaming all night every night for my entire life if they had. But i can understand why he didn’t want to leave. He still could have left when i turned 18 in a better way though at least. He basically snuck out. Spent less and less time at home until he wasnt coming home until all his stuff was gone. I cried about it but i was glad he got away from my mom. But him getting away from my mom made life worse for me. She no longer had him to scream at, and she didnt scream at my sister as much, it was all concentrated to me. Everything was a reason to scream at me. It has died down now. Other than a few days ago when she threatened to take away my phone and laptop and basically all connections to the outside world. If she did i would have left. She refuses to actually let me get freedom. She is trying to hold on. I cant drive, i dont have a job, i dont have any money. She doesnt want me to leave. If i leave she doesnt have anyone to control anymore.

This obviously isnt my entire life and everything, but its just the stuff i thought of now. Its almost 8:30am and i havent slept, so i should probably do that now. But yeah. Thats my vent fo the day.

#personal #emotional abuse #abuse tw

[pack-the-pack]

But Why Omegaverse of All Things??!

Okay so, recently some minor conversation sparked because of one of my posts regarding omegaverse, and why is it a thing and why it’s so popular. I even talked briefly with one of the people curious about it. Therefore, I decided to give some insight and explanations(?) to maybe why this is the case, once and for all. Obviously, I can’t speak for anyone but myself, however I’ll take the liberty to make suppositions about what might have brought people to like it. So if you feel like you don’t agree with something or the reason behind why you’re into this flaming pile of trash with us is not explained here, feel free to add on to it. After all this is just my humble perspective.

{Where and When it started?}

Well Wikipedia says it all started around 2010 with the one, the only, the massive: Supernatural Fandom. But really this is kind of a trick question, cause Omegaverse didn’t “start” anywhere. Those who have been in the Star Trek fandom might recognise terms like “Pon Farr” and “mating bond”, and those have been around longer than the 2010′s. And these have a striking similarity (if not the same stuff) you might find in ABO works. There are ABO fics dated even before said dates, do it’s not a exactly a precise date we’re looking at here. So yeah, it doesn’t have a clear starting point, and with good reason. We can’t pinpoint it’s origins because ABO it’s a collective of various different aspects drawn from many different places at the same time. We don’t have any set rules to what is and what’s not Omegaverse. You have elements of lycanthropism, sex pollen, vampirism, wolf pack dynamics, mpreg, scenting, soul mating, knotting, etc. The whole shabam! But really no one agrees in anything. We all just have this abstract universal understanding of what Omegaverse is and what is not. The elements present can be tossed in and out without harming the concept in the slightest. It can have all or just a few elements mentioned above and it would be just as valid.

Granted, the “modern version” we know today become more popular and well stablished around 2014/2015 ‘til the current year. And why did this happen?

{Projection}

We are living in very turbulent times recently. Be it in the realm of politics or… yeah politics. But regardless it’s undeniable that some things are changing, be it for the worse or for the better on your perspective one thing is true and will always be: Once shit starts to hit the fan we like to sit in the corner for a while and project our feelings into something. Usually this outlet is fantasy and imagination, which leads to ABO… somehow. “Okay but why daheck Omegaverse of all things?” as the title of this post inquires. Cause let’s be honest, Omegaverse sure is weird. I think (and again this is just my OPINION) it’s because Omegaverse can get you out of the “normally perceived” human world and toss you into something that is different from your reality but still similar enough that you can project your thoughts into. And things don’t “change” in this world, is all kinda the same every time. Omegas are Omegas, Betas are Betas, and Alphas are Alphas. Regardless of gender, of class, of economics, of society, of anything. These things don’t change. And it might give us a false sense of security to look at a society and an entire world where things have a sense of certainty. Yah know… unlike real life.

{Simulation}

Trying to understand how the world works and why B is B and not C is what humans do best and what we have been doing for as long as we can remember. So when you say “Alphas are X, Y and Z” it stimulates your brain to go “but why daheckity heck is that?”, opening a whole new plethora of thoughts about how this fantastical world and the people in it works. This kinda intertwines with the projection part, cause ABO has the “animalistic” side of people presented way more forefront and highlighted than irl. But just like in ABO humans might be capable of rational thought but at the end of the day we’re just glorified animals with a big ol’ brain inside our bone-made-thought-cage known as a skull. Once you start to look at ABO in a “biological sense” some thoughts start to occur to you, such as: “Is this somehow applicable in my life?”, “do humans have similar biological drives like that?”, “Is this nurture or nature?”, “are we really more than animals?”, “how far does our biology interfere with society”, “is society molded around our biological needs or do our biological needs mold themselves around society?”, “how far can our brains interfere with our bodies and vice-versa”, etc.

Just like any other trope and fantastical concept Omegaverse can indeed offer you a valid platform to project and simulate things you might not understand about real life or even about yourself. It proves itself to be a really fun and entertaining process and it also has a plus for getting some biases that might interfere with your judgment out of the way thanks to its huge flexibility. Yes, I am indeed declaring that Omegaverse for all it’s quirkiness and weirdness is capable of provoking thought. You’re welcome, I regret nothing.

{World Building and The Whole DIY Aspect of It}

I think this one is the one that resonates with me the most out of all the reasons. For those who are into world building but aren’t very kin into having to start from the ground up or just aren’t very good at it… BOY Omegaverse has your back, son. Since everyone else kinda already did half the work for you all you gotta do is take the abstract core concept and go full Picasso on it. The liberty omegaverse gives you is unbelievable and the worlds you can build around it can range from small island to a whole galaxy system. Which is very rare for a fanfic/fanart trope. Cause the other most popular AUs are crowded in way more rules and stuff you gotta follow or else people start to poop their pants cause “the wands are made of dragon-heart-strings not scales YOU HEATHEN!”, But all joking and exaggerations aside ABO is really unique in this aspect. You can focus on the biology, fashion, architecture, culture, religion, history, art, music, entertainment, etc. All revolving around ABO. The ammount of things you can explore is simply insane. Crafting a society based around these three dynamics is beyond fun (and I know there are people who make more dynamics aside from these but I’ll stick with the basic ones). And having every person bring something new and crafted completely differently from what you have but having just the same core focus every time you click in a ABO work is really something special on it’s on.

I think D&D players might know this feeling all too well, cause although there are general concepts and stuff that don’t change, you’ll never have the same experience twice and everytime it’s a new different and exciting adventure in a whole new world to explore. ABO is kinda like that but with weird ass human-wolf people instead of classes :v 

{RPying and Making New Friends}

This one is not exactly my cup of tea but I’m aware that a lot of people stay in the ABO community for this reason. Since ABO has a lot of material to works with it can be a goldmine for people that are into RPying. Be it with friends or to meet new people, the ABO community is rarely judgemental and is open to pretty much everyone, so it can be lots of fun to incorporate all the aspects you love about ABO into some good time with nice people. I know that @omegaverse-seeker is one person’s blog you can go just to find other people willing to RP with you using Omegaverse. So if you’re interested go check it out. 

{Social Commentary}

If you follow me long enough you’ll know that BOY HOWDY do I hold some grudges against this one. But since it happens a lot I feel like it would be unfair for me to not comment on it. Many people use the whole ABO genre to build narratives and push some sort of agenda or just make a social commentary about the real world. And god knows how this drives me NUTS most part of the time, because Jesus is it done poorly 9 times out of 10. Even if it comes as totally annoying and breaks the immersion of things for most part, there are times in which is done well and results into some really interesting and thought provoking stories. Like I said before projection and simulation is a big part of this. So when someone manages to take something as broad as ABO and transform into something that will make you lay down your phone for a while to actually think about some aspects of your life and the lives around you it really is something. Obviously it ain’t gonna be A Clockwork Orange lvl kind of thought provoking. Let’s get real people we’re all just amateur students on the internet no need to overestimate things. But the potential is totally there. The genre allows for this kind of potential to exist. And given the talent, the time and the faith required Omegaverse can bring up some real intriguing questions about our lives and the society we live in.

{Coping Mechanisms}

This one might come off a little risky, cause god knows this site and the word “sensitive” go hand in hand with one another. But even if it sounds a little pretentious (like everything else in this list) I’ll say it either way. Some people might use ABO to cope with some things they are not entirely comfortable with (I’ll not enter into the whole transgender “issue” that is brought up every  time someone wants to talk about how terrible Omegaverse is, Okay? That’s a whole can of worms I’m just not willing to open here, and not today… or maybe ever. But I digress. Back to other forms of copying) Some people might use Omegaverse to cope with some aspects of themselves they are still trying to come into terms with. Since within Omegaverse there are three dynamics, each with two genders, and every single one of them with exceptions within exceptions this can be a good outlet for people who might not “fit in” with what they belive they should be. For example a boy who’s more feminine and not as physically strong as his peers might look at ABO and see all the Omegas and Betas and go like “Oh I’m not defective or not as good I’m just different”. Or a girl who’s too masculine and physically strong dispite being a girl (like myself) might look at ABO and go “Oh, I’m not out of place, I’m just more ‘Alpha’-like”. Or “I’m not average. I’m a Beta”, lol @betasverse is gonna kill me for this one. 

Generally I don’t encourage this form of coping mechanism, or any form of coping mechanisms by that matter. I personally think that you should face reality as it is and try not to run away from it using short cuts and made up explanations. But if this is what gave you the initial kick or what’s helping you in the process of coming into yourself all the power to you my dude. Just try not to get too lost in it okay?

{Kinks}

And last but not least, you might just be into this sort of stuff. A lot of ABO is not plot related AT ALL. It’s just pure porn without plot and the bliss of dirty-dirty kinks. And Hey what’s wrong with that? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ We all got something that turns us on. If yours is people in heat and the whole submissive-dominant, Mpreg or any other things going on in ABO, go ahead children. Have all the fun. And if someone tells you it’s wrong to “fetishize” this or that, just tell them to shove it up their butt. Cause this is a stupid word anyways and what you do in the privacy of your home with yourself or any other consenting person is nobody’s fucking business but your own. 

There’s also other things like family Dyncamics you’d like to see incorporated to your ship. Or you think some tropes within Omegaverse are cute and think it would suit your OTP very nicely, etc. But I think I tackled all the main ones already, and if we are to analyse every fucking reason we’ll be here forever. So there you go people. The answer for “but why Omegaverse of all things?”.  

If you’re curious about any of the things I said here and want to see them be put in practice I suggest looking up mine and all the other ABO content creators here on tumblr and on ao3. Here’s a master list you can use for the tumblr ones. And here some good ABO fics with interesting concepts as a starting point if you’re new to the whole thing (a fair warning tho, most of them are incomplete and in permanent hiatus).

#omegaverse #abo #alpha beta omega #explaining the whole trope #and fascination with the subject #the why for abo #ptp originals #pack-the-pack answers #pack-the-pack explains