#before and after has a chokehold on my brain rn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

envy-of-the-apple · 2 months

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The yan!stsg x reader cheating has me in a chokehold for days actually! As much as its thrilling, vindicating and flattering that these hoes come crawling back(except for gojo? Hes like the newest addition to you so hes just strolling in your 3sum 😭😂), beneath that surface is actually a heavy cesspool of angst(i love angsts!) like thats where your vision of unrequited love in yan trope comes in delicious clutch

Youve forgiven, moved on and stuff— theres no coming back to loving suguru again; but the banger is!!! Amidst your years captivity, you forgot how you started loving suguru. Yep, forgot.

You dont wonder the moot points how suguru is unrecognizable from the time youre with him nor question yourself what made you fell in love with the pos in the first place.

But youre trying to remember how you fell for him in the past because you feel nothing now; indifference, and how jarring you find yourself to be in this predicament— and so that trying to be with the two in your turbulent captivity would be freeing in companionship.

But the thing is, your feelings are like ashes that stsg is trying to ignite again, but you feel nothing; or a blind person trying to perceive colors or stuff.

JUST imagine sugurus pain in the later years, youve got hidden diary in between your cloud docs or written in little receipts thats about your regrets and your love for a person(thats after him) and that love is so full of passion and longing its borderline painful that you tried to get back to feeling any semblance of emotions for suguru but failed. Just suguru pathetically stewing in regret, how he shouldve handled both you and gojo and rage, because you loved another person thats equivalent to how you used for HIM lmaooo

I hope ive articulate my feelings for this prompt quite fine??? Im struggling with english(its my 2nd language), i hope you get the gist of it xD thanks for listening to my rant, but i had to share this brain rot 😭🙏😊

istg if you dont get outta my inbox and wRITE THIS SHIT RN-

ughhh i think its even worse that you've forgiven them, right???? lets face it, it's only cuz of you suguru and satoru were even able to get together. those two fucking suck at communication and you basically taught suguru to love and be vulnerable. maybe, even before the cheating happened, you became friends with Satoru, you talked about things together, he become softer with you and he fell for you. They both loved you, but they loved eachother too.

you forgive them, because of course you do. but it still hurts to see them, so you leave. Maybe you move cities, ignore their phone calls, block their numbers. You meet someone else. Someone who gently puts you back together, makes you learn to trust again.

You forgive Satoru and Suguru enough to send them wedding invitations. It's all water under the bridge, you think to yourself. You don't realize that they still aren't over you. That they will never feel complete without you. They've lost contact with you for years but now you've given them an exact date, time, and location.

They don't care how happy you are with your new partner. All that they care about is how happy they'll make you.

#yandere #yandere jjk #dark gojo satoru #dark jjk #yandere gojo satoru #dark geto suguru #yandere geto suguru #yandere satosugu #x reader #satosugu cheating au

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shinxeysartgallery · 1 month

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The Murder Drones brain worms got me in a chokehold rn

Anyway, I got thinking about the Solver again. Ever since Episode 2, it's been established that the Solver is capable of creating flesh out of seemingly nothing. And we also know since Episode 1 that Disassembly Drones (as well as Workers with the Solver) can regenerate any wounds inflicted on them as long as there's sufficient material for it to use.

The latter seems to imply that it's still abiding by the Laws of the Conservation of Matter - matter cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed. Makes sense; it took the materials in the area and transformed them into new body parts to repair damage. Nothing was created or destroyed in that regard. But then what about the flesh?

Episode 7 gave some interesting implications regarding that. We got to see a flashback where the Disassembly Drones were deployed to hunt down and devour humanity, even getting a little scene of V ripping off and swallowing some poor sap's arm and N drinking the blood out of some dude's neck. But here's the thing about that: those two particular humans that were explicitly shown being eaten obviously weren't the only ones that were killed and eaten by them. Much like with all living things, there's only so much room for food inside the body, which also applies to the Drones. Since they're robots, they obviously can't digest it or go shit it out later when they get full like a human or animal can, so where did all the blood and flesh they ate go?

In Episode 2, we see J's core teleport away in a black hole after N stabs it several times with his tail. We've also seen other instances of the Solver being able to teleport or open black holes/wormholes. We also know that all Disassembly Drones have a core like that inside of their bodies. Both Episode 2 and Episode 7 confirmed that the cores can act independently from its host body and still possess Solver abilities. So my theory is that their cores were teleporting the flesh and blood somewhere as it entered the Drones' bodies. Where exactly? It's hard to say, but likely to wherever the source of the Solver is. No, not Cyn, but whatever it was that originally possessed her. She was Patient Zero, but the Solver clearly existed before she woke up in the dumpster. Whatever its source is, that's likely where everything went. If it's still abiding by that scientific law mentioned before, then it explains how it's seemingly able to create it out of nothing - it's not; it's basically moving it from one place to another through use of wormhole magic when its powers are invoked. This also explains how the Disassembly Drones were able to consume what seemed to be an infinite amount of humans without them ever getting full.

(We know its very existence and its other behaviors still break several scientific laws, so this might be a moot point, but it's still interesting to think about!)

It also gives some more interesting implications to Cyn's comment about being hungry before jumping into the giant flesh pit to the center of the planet. Maybe the stuff was being teleported directly to the entity's stomach? And if that's the case, then that's maybe why the portals it makes are so fleshy? It's basically ripping a hole into the entity's stomach that's already full of flesh and blood from its previous kills.

Also as a side note, Episode 1 established that Disassembly Drones require them to drink oil every so often to keep from overheating - a symptom that also exists in Worker Drones with the Solver. We saw in Episode 4 that when Uzi used her Solver powers too much, she began to overheat and go a bit crazy until she was able to consume some oil. What if the Solver entity itself has something similar going on? We don't know what it's doing behind the scenes, after all. What if it's like those Drones, where it needs to consume blood and flesh to keep up its energy, much like how they need oil? If that's the case, Cyn's remark likely implies that it's used up a shit-ton of energy on something, which does not bode well for the future of Copper-9 or its inhabitants... (Or any other planets/exo-planets in that universe, for that matter.)

I'm probably over-analyzing stuff again, but still think it's interesting. lmao

#murder drones #murder drones spoilers #murder drones theory #absolute solver

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booyouimcrazy · 1 year

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don't know how to tell you i miss you.

that i think it every single day, all the time.

i crave to kiss you,

the lack of ever having done it, makes it less than fine.

your words spin tentacles around my brain,

yearning that causes pain,

a chokehold in parts,

where all i can do is complain.

But it's all just me,

To me,

About me,

for you.

not having enough to do,

definitely leaves me a fool,

because i know, and you do too,

we both deserve better.

you for someone who is your equal in ambition,

and me for someone who is my equal in volition.

yet,

day after day,

i wake up sad,

so farr, all the days of may,

hoping you were fighting to stay,

except life is full of dismay.

i hate that our chapter never got written,

and yet, the only reason it exists, is words.

it's daily band-aids rn,

hoping that I'll get my bestfriend back,

but with the paths my life has taken before,

the last thing I'll have again,

is you.

i miss you.

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harryschicagooutfit · 3 years

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Stockholm Syndrome

Rafe Cameron x fem!Reader

a/n: first writing ever!!! Go easy on me. Season two has me in a chokehold rn, so I thought it was only right to write something for my favorite psychopath.

warnings: angst??? Choking, manipulation. Nothing else I don’t think.

Rafe’s POV:

I slowly made my way down the hall, keeping my ears keen to make sure I could hear where she was. Heavy, shaky breaths came from the guest bathroom, I let my feet follow them. I could see the silhouette of her body through the cracks of the bathroom door frame. She had her hands placed in the bathroom counter, letting her neck hang as she stared into the sink, thinking all the possible thoughts she could be. I mean, what are you supposed to do when you find out your boyfriend might be a murderer?

I wish my father was better about keeping things on the down low. Wheezie and Y/N both have ears like a bat. They found out while going for a late night whatever they were doing when Y/N was sleeping over last night. I loved that she did that kind of stuff. Go to know my family, slept over whenever I need it, constantly hung out with my little sister and she even got on my dads good side. I’m not ready to let any of that go, I’ve got to do everything in my power to convince her the opposite of what she heard last night.

“Y/N?” I question softly behind the door, putting my hand on the handle, pushing my way in.

I don’t get a reply. Just a sniff of her nose in response. I hope she’s not crying. I don’t do well when she cries. I take a few more steps toward her and place my hands in either side of her arms, careful not to startle her. I rub the goosebumps that are beginning to form and land my hands on her shoulder. I begin to rub her gently before I start speaking.

“Need to talk to you, darling.” I coo behind her.

“About what?” She questions. That’s the first time I’ve heard her voice all night. She’s spent most of the day avoiding me after hearing my dad.

“You know what.” I answer, trying to keep my voice cool rather than stern.

“It’s not true. Let’s start there. You’re tense baby, you need to calm down.” I switch subject rather fast, feeling how stuff her muscles were underneath my fingers.

“Of course, I’m tense, Rafe. It’s been a weird fucking day.” She curses at me, ignoring my request to talk about it.

I sigh, knowing it’s gonna take me awhile to get it out of her. I know Y/N well enough to know that all I need to get the truth out of her is to feel it out. Literally.

Y/N’s POV:

I couldn’t make up my mind. I heard it clear as day.

“I just wish Rafe could control himself. We’ve got so much heat on us because he let his temper go and now Peterkin is dead.” I heard Ward tell Rose from outside his office. My hand shot up to cover my mouth as I walked away as fast as I could.

“I know it’s been a weird day, but you have to hear me out. And trust me.” He pushes my shoulder blades again, starting to massage the tenseness out of my body. His hands are something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of. The feeling of them simply makes me melt. I let a sigh fall from my lips quietly, not wanting him to know I’m giving in so easily.

“I know what I heard Rafe. That’s not something you just mishear. When we’re you gonna tell me?” I question him, finally lifting my head to make eye contact with him in the mirror.

He takes another step toward, closing the gap between us. I can feel the stiffness of his chest as it rises and falls. His eyebrows draw together in confusion. One of his hands makes its way to spread across my chest, then rises up to get a grip on my neck, turning it almost harshly so that I was forced to look him in the eye.

“You really think I would do something like that?” He scans my face for a clue of what’s going on in my brain. To be honest, being this close to Rafe kind of shuts down every other thought I have going in. Especially being held like this. I sigh as I lean my cheek further into his palm, trying to call his bluff or see if he was telling the truth.

“I have no idea what you’re capable of, Rafe.” I spoke my truth, my lips brushing his thumbs as I spoke.

“Look, Y/N. I know I’ve got issues, everyone in my family does. That whole Peterkin story is just an inch of the truth about what’s been going on these past few months.” He explains, eyes bouncing all over my face to sort out how I was reacting. His grip on me felt guilty.

“I wish you would just tell me what’s going on. I don’t feel like I can trust you anymore Rafe.” My eyes fell to the ground, watching his feet shift around mine

“I know, baby I know. I wish I could too.” He spoke with ease, loosening his grip on my neck, and turning me around. He took his pointer finger and thumb, grabbing my chin to lift my head until I had no choice but to look him in the eye.

“Hey, hey. Look at me. I would never let anything happen to you. I aim to protect you, that’s why I can’t get you involved” He told me, sounding genuine. No matter how sketchy things with Rafe got, it felt good to know he was there to protect me. I wish he would spend this much time protecting himself.

“I don’t want you getting hurt…” I whispered, letting my hands lay flat on his chest.

“I’ve got myself covered. You don’t have to worry about me, princess. Just let me worry about you. About us.” He spoke, backing me into the counter, lifting me so that I was now sat with him standing dangerously close in between my thighs.

“I really like you, Rafe. Just want us to work out without all that extra bullshit. I just wanna be yours.” He had me hypnotized. I don’t know what about him it is that made me word vomit like no tomorrow, but it needed to stop. Letting him know how badly I need him was only giving him more power.

“I really like you too, Y/N. Don’t worry about that other stuff. Come here.” He traced my sides all the way up to my face to grab ahold of both of my cheeks, smiling at my face when he took at a moment to study it.

“So pretty.” He spoke, quieter than normal.

Damn it.

I clutched the fabric of his shirt and yanked him towards me, meetting his lips in a harsh kiss. I could feel him try to hide the smirk forming on his lips. He got me. He knows it.

Rafe’s POV:

I got her. I know it.

Most people think its unlawful to lie to someone you care about so much, and normally I would agree. I really was doing this to protect her. And myself. If she knew what was really going on, shed leave me at the drop of hat, run back to her pouge friends and never speak to me again. I just can’t have that, not when she feels this good.

I tightened my grip on her hips, pulling her closer and earning a hushed sigh from her lips into my mouth as return. She kissed my lips with desperation, biting on my bottom lip when I pulled away.

“It’s been a long week baby. Barely been able to spend any time with my girl.” I began to explain, hopefully taking her mind from places other than my criminal acts.

I dipped my head into the crook of her neck, beginning to her from this angle. I could literally feel her pulse against my temple. I loved when she got like this for me. I kissed along her collarbone, nipping every few seconds to earn a squeal from her. My eyes fell upon the golden “R” charm that fell right in between the two bones. I got it for her birthday not too long ago, it was erotic to see my initial around her neck like that.

“I missed you.” She confessed quietly. Her small hands fell on either side of my torso, gripping the material of my shirt every so often when I would hit a soft spot on her neck.

“Yeah, missed you too. Let’s go have some fun, Dad and Rose won’t be home for like an hour and Wheezies gone.” I offered, backing up to look her in the face. Her blissed out eyes met mine in a sensual haze, a gloss running over them in her state of arousal.

“I’d like that.” She nodded, almost immediately.

“Good girl.” I say, tapping her butt twice signaling her to get off the counter and follow me. We passed a mirror on our was to my room and the sight of her holding onto my hand, walking ten toes behind me, so eager for me was all I needed to see to know that she was fooled.

#rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe cameron x reader #outer banks #obx season 2 #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron blurb

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