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#beefer
stinkfacestories · 2 years
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First and Only
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Your first and oy client as the only tattoo shop in this corn fed Iowa football town walks in. He's been playing basketball all day in the sweltering heat and nearly forgot about his appointment. "I want an enginwork biohazard symbol on my ass. Engine stuff because I'm a mechanic, and biohazard because my nick names beefer on the football team because I fart alot. You do t mind if I fart while your back there do you"
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metzgerei-graenitz · 2 years
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Kolloquium für 90 Personen. #cutsofbeef #duckbreast #sousvide #beefer #metzgereigränitz #sachen #chemnitz #grill #steaks (hier: Partyservice-Chemnitz.de) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cisf6vgqY_K/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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tshelburn · 1 year
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Tonight’s meal is a two inch thick @showmebeef prime ribeye sous vide for three hours then seared at 1500 degrees in the @beefer_usa Original for about 2 minutes per side. Its served with broccoli rabe sautéed in garlic butter and mashed potatoes. The beef was so tender and perfect! Mmmm I did cedar planked salmon seasoned with @meatchurch Deez Nuts and MC seafood on the @kamadojoe for the girls. #showmebeef #missouribeef #primebeef #ribeye #primeribeye #beef #mobeef #anovaculinary #sousvide #anovafoodnerd #sousvidesteak #steak #steaknight #broccolirabe #mashedpotatoes #beefer #beeferoriginal #1500degrees #beeferusa #salmon #smokedsalmon #cedarplankedsalmon #kamadojoe #joejunior #teamred #firesquad #meatchurch #deeznuts (at Springfield, Missouri) https://www.instagram.com/p/CnI8wruu860/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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some-shedanigans · 1 year
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Ruh roh...
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rainymoodlet · 1 year
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figures we’d settle down into life here just as dallas gets the opportunity to leave! 🌵
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hart-on-my-sleeve · 6 days
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The crowd starts going BONKERS the instant Beefers takes his jacket off... so that's why he puts it back on. Being a teasing mofo- *cough*
Also in my notes I put the second gif as "alligator beef" and was confused as to what the heck I meant
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jmaxart098 · 2 years
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and the winner is uuuuh yes of course
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sentientstump · 2 years
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and super random pile of stuff
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like really really random
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spilledjelly · 2 years
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I've picked up a new hermit to add to my collection
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carbonateddelusion · 1 year
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[through gritted teeth] old trans men who are in love ..
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cocrante · 1 year
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To me, Haitham has become beefier for this reason
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womburt · 2 years
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Caught in the Rain; C. VintageBeef x Reader
Yay under-appreciated hermits week! Beef is my absolute favorite and it is a CRIME that there is so little reader-insert fanfic for him, so here we are :-)
In which Beef and Y/n find each other in a downpour, and spend the long and drizzle-y walk home together <3
———
“Y/n!”
They spun on their heel at the sound, raising an arm to shield their face from the onslaught of rain they’d found themself caught in. His voice was instantly recognizable to them, its tone bright with concern. They squinted their eyes, just able to make out his form.
Beef stood a few yards away, a large yellow raincoat covering his torso. He had one hand on his hip, the other raised to his forehead. He appeared to be shielding his vision as well, watching them from a distance with large eyes.
Y/n winced with embarrassment, all-to-aware of their soaked clothes and general aura of misery. Still, they smiled at the bearded man, unable to help themself. Beef could do that to them, coax a smile even when they were drenched with downpour and shivering.
“Hey Beefy,” they called out pitifully, waving shyly with their free hand. It shook as they did so, fingers wrinkled and unsteady.
Beef was frowning at them by that point, and Y/n felt themself shrink beneath his gaze. They hated to see Beef upset. He was such a ray of sunshine on the server, always smiling and bringing joy to the hermits. It wasn’t often that he wore sadness on his sweet face.
“You’re soaked!” Beef announced, dropping the hand that shielded his eyes and walking toward them. It was then that Y/n noticed the rain boots he wore - bright yellow to match his coat. Mud stuck the bottoms of his shoes, and Y/n had to muffle a laugh at his ensemble. Still - he was far better prepared for the storm than they, so they kept their giggle to themself.
“I know,” Y/n teased, dropping their arm as well, accepting their watery fate. Beef was in front of them now, towering over them with concern. They looked up at him, meeting eyes with his blue irises. His lips were slightly parted, the hint of a smirk just barely gracing his expression. Y/n heart fluttered at the sight, taking pride in the fact that they'd made him smile, even if he was trying not to.
“What are you doing out here in this storm?” Beef asked, already shrugging off his coat. He pulled his arms out of the sleeves first, and then brought the whole thing over his head, disregarding the zipper at the front. Y/n watched unabashedly, eyes following his, now exposed, arms.
“Oh you know, enjoying the weather,” Y/n joked back, voice becoming muffled when the yellow coat was tugged over their head. Surprised by the motion, Y/n stood still, allowing Beef to maneuver the clothing piece until it was facing forward. He reached in from underneath, guiding their arms through the sleeves with a gentle touch. Y/n remained quiet, their skin burning with each slight graze of his fingers.
“You’re freezing!” Beef exclaimed once he’d gotten them situated in the jacket. He pulled his arms out from under the material, reaching over Y/n’ shoulder and pulling the hood over their head. Y/n watched him with careful eyes, basking in his closeness.
When Beef was finally satisfied with his work, he took a step back, hands falling to rest at his sides. Y/n nuzzled their head further into the coat, breathing in the familiar smell of the man stood across from them. It was earthy and warm, reminding them of late nights spent in the woods, or in his company.
“Now you’re gonna get wet,” they observed meekly, frowning at their realization. Beef’s top was already soaked through, clinging to the undershirt he wore. His pants shared a similar fate, though their darker color helped disguise it.
Beef shrugged, his short hair laying flat on his head. Y/n pouted at his indifference, beginning to pull their arms out of the sleeves of his coat. No matter how good it smelled, or how nice it was to be protected from the rain, they weren’t going to just let Beef give up his jacket for them.
“No, don’t worry about it! I needed a shower anyway, let’s just find shelter!” Beef threw his hands out to stop them, holding their wrists through the thick yellow fabric. He smiled reassuringly at them, looking around in all directions before making a decision.
“I think spawn is that way!” He nodded off toward the dark oak forest, gently tugging on them, having yet to let go of their arms. Y/n allowed themself to be pulled, still not entirely satisfied with their raincoat situation.
Beef dropped one arm to his side, Y/n suddenly feeling very cold where it had been holding them. The other, he let fall to their hand, interlocking his fingers with theirs. His was thick and calloused, Y/n noticed, gratefully accepting his offer by squeezing his palm. They gulped down the butterflies that threatened to spill out of their throat, unused to prolonged physical contact from Beef.
The man in question didn’t waste any time, pulling them in the direction he thought led to shelter. Y/n followed along dutifully, glad to have someone else to take them home. They’d sort of just planned on wandering around until they found civilization.
“How long have you been out here for? Your hand is all pruney,” Beef joked, yelping when they knocked into him with their shoulder. Y/n wrinkled their face at him, but made no move to let go of him.
“Long enough,” they answered finally, looking at the nonexistent path ahead to avoid whatever kind of disappointed look Beef was planning to give them.
He bumped them with his shoulder in retaliation, much softer than they had to him.
“I’m just messin’ with ya. I don’t mind holding your wrinkly hands.”
Y/n’s heart burned in their chest, the butterflies in their stomach swarming around in circles. They were almost sure that Beef could hear their thundering heartbeat. How could he not when it felt like it was about to pound out of their chest?
They made no response to him, burrying their face into the hood of his jacket. Beef seemed to understand anyway, chuckling at their embarrassment.
They walked in silence for a while, allowing the pitter-patter of rain to do the talking for them. Some quiet animal noises could be heard in the distance, leaves crunched underfoot, Beef’s silly yellow rain boots creating a makeshift road that was sure to be washed away by tomorrow.
Eventually, the trees cleared and the pair caught sight of a few identifiable buildings at spawn. The GigaPie shop stood proudly in front of them, its smoke billowing out into the dark sky. Beef celebrated out loud, mumbling something about how he knew they’d find their way home. Y/n just smiled at him, too exhausted to join in on his excitement.
“Alrighty, let’s get you inside,” Beef announced, pulling Y/n in the direction of their starter base. They stood in front of their door in no time, ducking under the cover so that they were both finally out of the rain.
Y/n dropped Beef’s hand hesitantly, not missing the way his fingers trailed over their knuckles, seemingly equally unwilling to let go. They took a step back from Beef, carefully pulling his coat over their head, the same way he’d put it on them. They held the jacket out to him, their fingers brushing together again as he laid the coat out over his arm.
“Thanks for walking me home,” Y/n smiled bashfully, looking down at their shoes. They’d been absolutely destroyed on the walk home, caked and stained with mud.
“Anytime!” Beef was quick to answer, beaming at them. Y/n looked up at him with a smile of their own, much preferring his face to their dirty shoes.
Beef held still for a moment, his eyes trained on their cheek. Cautiously, he lifted his arm, cupping their face with his hand.
“You’ve got- hang on.”
Swiping his thumb over their cheekbone, Beef made a quiet “aha!” sound and took his hand from their cheek. Y/n couldn’t help but touch their face where his skin had been, missing the warmth it had provided them. Beef held his thumb in front of their line of sight, just about even with their lips. Y/n looked at the finger to see an eyelash leashed right atop the pad.
“Make a wish,” Beef encouraged.
Y/n but their lip and closed their eyes. They made up a wish in their head and leaned forward to blow the eyelash off of his thumb. It took a little bit of effort due to his hand still being a little wet from the rain, but Y/n managed to get it to flutter away.
When they looked back at Beef, his cheeks were a dark red. He didn’t bother to move his hand, so Y/n did it from him. They held his left limb gently, lowering it in between the both of them. Neither made a move to let go.
Beef glanced from Y/n’s eyes to their lips and back again. Both were still, waiting for the other to make their move. Y/n gulped down their nerves, preparing themself to lean in.
Beef beat them to it. He rested his right hand on their jaw again, softly pulling their face up to meet his halfway. They came nose to nose when he paused again, his warm breath tickling their skin. Y/n’s eyes were half lidded, staring up at him with want and a little bit of nervousness.
“Can I kiss you?” Beef asked, just loud enough that they could hear. His voice was low and gravelly, sending another fit of butterflies loose in Y/n’s stomach. They allowed their eyes to shut the rest of the way, absentmindedly leaning into the hand cradling their face.
“Please.”
It was all he needed. Beef leaned forward, lips finding theirs in an instant. He guided their intertwined hands upwards, coming to rest on Y/n’s waist. They stepped impossibly closer to him, pressing themself up against the yellow raincoat that was between them.
It was over all too soon, Beef pulling away reluctantly, resting his forehead against theirs. His breaths were shallow, and the hand holding their jaw smoothly rubbed back and forth over their skin.
Y/n opened their eyes after a minute, finding that he was already looking at them. His cheeks were flushed, the rest of his expression soft, lips slightly parted and eyebrows drawn up.
Beef cleared his throat, shaking his head like he was coming back to reality. Y/n’s chest swelled with pride, they found themself unable to hide their smirk. They stood up on their toes, placing a chaste kiss on Beef’s pink cheek. He reacted wonderfully, turning an even darker shade of embarrassment.
“Walk me home anytime,” Y/n flirted, finally dropping his hands and unlatching their front door to take a step inside. Beef smiled bashfully at them, slowly tucking his hands in his pockets and cringing at their dampness.
“Gladly!”
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metzgerei-graenitz · 1 year
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Hab gerade mal getestet wo die Temperatur höher ist. Ablagerost oder direkt über dem Feuer. Was meint ihr? #grill #wagyu #junggesellenabschied #metzgereigränitz #beefer #bier (hier: Harley-Davidson Chemnitz) https://www.instagram.com/p/CroIl-dNuFR/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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tshelburn · 1 year
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Turf and snails? Tonight’s meal is a prime @showmebeef ribeye seasoned with only @jacobsensaltco flake salt served with escargot, overcooked asparagus and a baked potato. The steak and snails were fantastic! @kerrygoldusa butter is delicious. Nom nom #surfandturf #steaknight #steak #beef #showmebeef #ribeye #primeribeye #missouribeef #mediumrare #beefer #beeferusa #beeferoriginal #escargot #snails #butter #garlic #shallot #brandy #butter #kerrygold #asparagus #bakedpotato #morebutter #salmon #seafood #recteqlifestyle #recteq #recteqgrills #pelletgrill (at Springfield, Missouri) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ck2LDeCuLHT/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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some-shedanigans · 10 months
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If your two Canadian friends jumped off a cliff would you also jump? (Answer is: They made me fall with them, there was no choice.)
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seitekedas · 2 years
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I posted this shirt to twt asking who I should draw in it and the people said ryuji. democracy win
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