#because most of the time that's the case haha

[lavenderspence]

To lean on you - Sneak peek

so, here it is. A little sneak peek for my 1st Spencer Reid fic and the first for this blog!🎉

This is most likely going to come out sometime this week, let me know what you think because, for a second there, I seriously considered not posting this fic at all, haha.

79 days, 3 hours, and 27 minutes - that’s how long it’s been since he got arrested in Mexico.

70 days, 6 hours, and 13 minutes since you saw him being pulled out of the courtroom after he was deemed a flight risk and denied bail.

70 days, 6 hours, and 13 minutes have passed since you last saw him.

65 days, 7 hours, and 11 minutes, since he was transferred to Millburn Correctional Facility, and this whole nightmare, had started. 

Per Penelope’s carefully crafted schedule, every team member has made numerous trips to visit Spencer - every member except you. You’d only made one trip out, and that had been 3 days after he’d been transferred.

March 4th, 2017

It’s been 8 days since you saw him led in cuffs out of that courtroom, where Penelope had broken down in Luke’s arms, everyone too shocked to make a sound. He’d looked back, his eyes meeting yours briefly, and it had been as if you’d almost seen your reflection in the mirror, every emotion had run between you both in a matter of seconds. 

Shock, you’d almost been sure they would grant bail, and you’d be able to take him home. Almost. 

Fear, for his future and his well-being. Fear of the uncertain. 

Desperation, the desire to run to him and take him into your arms, finally, and to not let go. 

Except you’d held his gaze for as long as you could before you’d looked down and turned your head to save him from seeing you break down in tears. You’d made a hasty escape after that, not sparing any of your teammates a glance, and walked out of the courthouse, stopping by a tree outside. The urge to curl up into a ball and hide, pretending none of this had happened, was strong, and then a hand wrapped around your shoulder. You had turned around, only to see Rossi and one of his sad little smiles, the ones you rarely saw.

“It’s going to be okay,” he’d said, squeezing your shoulder. ”The kid is strong.”

You’d sniffled, trying to hide the tears in your voice. “Yeah, well, I’m not sure I am," you’d whispered in despair. 

You were better than you had been 8 days ago, calmer. Although still heartbroken, you were looking forward to seeing him, seeing with your eyes that he was okay. Garcia had seen him, 2 days ago, before you’d been sent out on a case.  

“He looks good. I mean, as good as that big genius brain of his can look in prison. His eyes were sad though, really, really sad.” She’d paused as if to assure herself it would be alright, “I’m sure he’s looking forward to seeing you, sweetness.” She’d squeezed your hand, but her statement hadn’t rung true. 

Your hands were shaking, you weren’t sure what from. The anticipation you’d felt? The nerves? Or the words you had a hard time coming to terms with.

“I’m sorry, but your name isn’t on Spencer Reid’s approved visitor list,” the guard at the checkpoint had said after rechecking the list. 

“There has to be a mistake, I made an appointment,” you insisted, feeling yourself unravel. It wasn’t possible, you knew for a fact you were on that list, Emily had made sure of that.

“Look, lady. There are only 10 names on that list, and yours is not one of them. Now, you need to move, because there are people here waiting to see their loved ones.” you’d hiccuped and turned around, walking to the lockers to unlock your gun, badge, and phone. 

“I’m here to see a loved one.” You’d wanted to scream, but you knew it would have been futile. There wasn’t anything you could do at that moment. 

You walked to your car, dialing Emily’s number, “This is Prentiss.”  

For a second, only your breathing could be heard over the sound of the wind, and then a tiny sniffle. You wiped at your eyes and nose, and then spoke up, barely, “Why am I not on Spencer’s approved visitor list?” 

“What do you mean? Every member of this team is on the list. So is his lawyer and Diana, even Derek,” you could hear the surprise in her voice, yet you couldn’t keep calm any longer.

"They refused to let me see him! I made the appointment, Emily, and I came, hoping I’d finally see him hear his voice, and ask him-” Your voice broke mid-sentence, and after taking a deep breath, you continued, “Ask him if he was okay, and I was denied because out of the 10 names on that list, it seems mine’s not one of them.” You finished defeated, barely above a whisper.

All was silent for the moment, save for what you could hear was Penelope’s voice on the other end of the line, quietly asking what was going on, “Let me call Fiona and the warden, and I’ll see what happened. Meanwhile, I need you back here, because we just got a case.” Her voice wasn’t leaving anything up for discussion. Still, you couldn’t go, not until you saw him. 

“Emily-” she cut you off.

“It’s not a discussion. I’ll resolve this, but I need you here and your head in the game. Am I clear?” Her voice was stern, but maybe that’s exactly what you needed. Maybe.

“Yeah, clear. I’m on my way back.” You took a deep breath and started the car and the journey back to Quantico, but your mind stayed right there, on the bars that kept you away from the one thing you held dearest. 

As it turns out, there was nothing the warden or Fiona could do. Even Emily Prentiss, Unit Chief of the BAU, couldn't “resolve” the situation. Days, weeks, and months passed, and for 70 days you couldn’t see him, isolated out, not even knowing why.

--------------------------------------------------------------

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x you #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid fluff #post prison reid #criminal minds #criminal minds evolution #sneak peek #tina writes

[ianthedebonair]

What is this whole Vote Chen propaganda? I know that the Marshal is our wronged unappreciated princess. but you all are forgetting our origins. So let me remind you of what Ricardo has done for our country:

• Managed befriend a wild, aggressive Possum with rabies that lived in the sewers and alleys of Lós-diabos, better known as sidestep.

•poker face, all the way to hell when he saw our face being the carbon copy of the guy who killed his only good father figure. because he truly believes in us and that we are not our past or the people who raised/made us (sweet)

•fell in love with Sidestep (Stupid)

• fell in love with Sidestep while he was being a womanizer, closet bisexual and in a complicated relationship with his ex-girlfriend that he asked us to erase/change her mind/memory with our powers. (Messy)

• realized that this was a Fucked up thing to ask of us. and apologized. supports local restaurants, takes us to eat whatever we want with his Rangers's no limit/government money credit card (humble).

• Agreed to be our Boy-toy, no strings attached, sexy Fling. ( a Romantic )

•took us to live with his mother when we practically became a ticking time bomb of telepathic powers after the Nanoverse incident (a family man)

•saw his dearest friends and his team under his command fail fatally in the heartbreak mission, saw the person he loved most jumping out of a window to his death in front of his eyes and could do nothing (traumatized)

•had to endure give a speech to an empty coffin, and show the defeat publicly while still in mourning, hit a journalist in the process (iconic)

•become an alcoholic, begins to see and talk to a ghost version of us in his mind (got crazy)

•has his driver's license confiscated after riding his motorbike the wrong way on a busy highway, his electrical part of the arm generators is turned off, retires as Marshal, and threatened with losing the part of the generator that moves the legs if he doesn't go to therapy, shouts at his therapist, cries in therapy, process some of the grief in therapy( Got a lil better)

•spends the next seven years now trying to balance being part of the new team and justice for his dead mentor. a fresh start, right? (Haha oh, boy…)

the love of his life returns from the grave. More crumbled, alert, suspicious and ragged than ever.

reveals that was held in tortured captivity (that you didn't help escape)

reveals that they escaped alone and DIDN'T want to look for you back

a new villain appears and beats the shit out of you

You start dating this person 20 years younger than you for information and they give you this feeling of familiarity like your now-not dead friend, who keeps avoiding you.

Haha you still Love them.

they can now be either a villain, or in contact with the criminal siblings who killed your mentor, or creating a criminal group, or killing heroes, or an anarchist or a ReGene version of the person you once loved.

Or could it be that this person was always a Re-gene, and you were always too focused on self-affirmative theories to realize, Or ask?

a Tumblr sexy man. has to be tragic, traumatized at the same time as comically tortured by the narrative. a grown adult at the same time as a baby girl the people want Ricardo, because he is All of that AND obsessed with us ( Sidestep ) in every way, shape or Form and we deserve that

(and even if you don't take the romantic route with him. He's still obsessed with you the same way. We are, above all, his best friend and he won't let go of us)

I finish my case.

You know what's more tragic, traumatizing, and comically torturous? Him losing the tumblr sexy man tournament 😌

#i gotta applaud the dedication for this anon lmao #i wish i could think of a better rebuttal that reciprocates the effort you put in this ask but i am eepy as heck #we have been wrapped around ortega's sexy little finger for so long that it's time for a rebirth #a retribution #a revelation #and whatever the fourth book's gonna be named (i hope its revolution because it fits my point here 😤) #CHEN NATION RISE #VOTE CHEN #fhr #fallen hero #anon

[anntriccs]

Omg just read your bsd lovechild au! comic you just released and I love it!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Kazuya is so politely sassy and Lenore?!?! My babies are soo cuteee 😭😭

Also I dunno if this is gonna canon for you or not but I hc that Mori has tried to teach Kazuya medical procedures (like genuinely not cuz he's a mad doctor and has operated on his father multiple times without his consent but cuz he just wants Kazuya to look up to him as a doctor and maybe hopefully take him as a student) but Kazuya just politely declines and goes ahead and idk does his math homework or smth.

Mori: Okay Kazuya-kun. How about I teach you how to tie a suture? It's very easy just let me-

Kazuya: I'm sorry but my dada did tell me to not talk with you. I'm going to do my math homework so if you'd please excuse me. (Goes and actually does his homework cuz he's a good lil boy)

Mori (on the phone with Chuuya, yes again): Chuuya-kun!!! Why does your son hate me so much?!?!? I promised both you and Dazai-kun that I have turned over a better leaf!!! Elise can even vouch for it!! Elise tell em!!!

Elise (a lil older than canon, I'm assuming like 15-17) : Nah. You were a creepy pedophilic old man before. Now you're just a creepy old man.

Mori: Elise-chan!!!!

Chuuya (on the phone and completely ignoring Mori): Okay so boss since you've bothered to call me at all, please let me bother you by asking about our client-

Mori: You just completely ignored me didn't you Chuuya-kun.

Also Mori makes Chuuya take missions the same time Dazai has a case he has to work on so they have no choice but to leave Kazuya with a babysitter (most of the time it's AkuAtsu but if they're busy and need to look for a babysitter too then it's with Poe, Gin, Kouyou, Yosano, Kenji, Kyoka, and surprisingly Kajii who makes em all lemon-flavored food [Lenore hates that]) but Mori is never on the list so he has to wish on his lucky stars that he gets to babysit Soukoku's golden child and when that happens he cries tears of happiness. This only happens a couple of times before Chuuya "accidentally" shakes his entire building and asks him to not schedule his missions when his husband is away.

Also Chuuya never does anything about Kazuya ignoring Mori. He could and Kazuya would listen to him (somewhat only) but he doesn't cuz he knows it helps in keeping Kazuya safe and give Dazai peace of mind.

Also currently laughing over the fact that somewhere there's an album of all the people Dazai knows in Yokohama and he shows em to Kazuya like a picture book.

Dazai: So this is Mori Ougai. Also called Rintaro by his ability Elise. Now like we practiced, what do we say when Mori-san comes and talks to us.

Kazuya (who had just learned to talk): I'm sowwy but papa said not to talk with you.

Dazai: Good boy!!!!! Omg you're so smart such a handsome and cute son I have!!!

Chuuya: Can't you like, idk teach him normal stuff that is essential to toddlers?

Dazai: Avoiding the boss of the Port Mafia is essential enough no?

I love it! I really want to draw that last dialog, because I totally imagined Dazai sitting with Kazuya on his lap and "educating" him about who to talk to and who not to talk to, haha <3

[rriavian]

Despite having very little time to write I’ve still managed just over 14k since last Wednesday, so while I feel very behind (Deliverance is still taking forever I’m so sorry) I’ve been making good progress! All seven Corintheus week prompts are in draft, and about half of them are nearly finished, and—despite not looking at anything else all weekend—one of the Christmas/Winter prompt fics is nearly done too. And the ravens saving Dream fic is going slower than I’d like but it’s getting there.

I was doodling in a meeting today and figured out my plot issue for the next few parts of Baiting the Trap, so on my break I wrote a bit of that. The next part should be the fill for one of the Corintheus week prompts if all goes to plan :)

Very busy, but having a lot of fun writing!

A little stressed about getting things finished when I want them though. Which is a very me thing so as always I'm gonna try and relax about it. The funny thing is that I also wrote an entirely new ficlet the other night when thinking about the Corintheus week prompts. Which is exactly what I did last Monday too

#gonna catch up on notifications #maybe send some people some prompts #or questions #writing progress #if you see any unhinged tags on my reblogs #assume a wip is driving me insane #because most of the time that's the case haha

[front-facing-pokemon]

#OBVIOUSLY a more snootiferous angle under the cut are you KIDDING #this thing's name is a lot of fun to say‚ i think. i always roll the R super hard. barrrrrraskewdaaaa!!! #barraskewda #just for fun. just for a little silly haha. i don't think i've ever said it out loud‚ though‚ but i think that's the case for most folks #just. always Reading pokémon's names and never hearing them said or saying them out loud. y'know #and that's how you get silly pronunciations like how when i was a kid #i saw goodra not as “goo dra” but as “good ra” and pronounced it as such #and magearna not as “ma gear na” but as “mage arna” and pronounced it as such #apparently i'm the only one on the planet who does this? because every time i do everyone is quick to correct me #ahh well

[sonknuxadow]

theres multiple reasons i dont like s/urgeamy but one of the things ive seen people do with it that annoys me a bit is the idea that surge and kit are going to become good because surge is gonna fall in love with amy and thats gonna be her only motivation to change.. and im sorry but am i the only one who thinks it would suck so bad for such fun antagonists to instantly switch sides just because one of them was "fixed" by romance and no other reason

#that is not an appealing storyline to me at least not for something like sonic where i dont wanna see canon romance #i DO think it could be interesting if amy being nice to surge and kit is gonna somehow be the start of a redemption arc for them #but not in a romantic way . not in an instant ''well i guess i have to switch sides now because i have a crush on sonics friend'' way #and ive seen some people assume that surge and kit are actually being serious when they come to the restoration as if theyve changed #i definitely dont think this is the case i dont think theyre good guys now #at least not yet it is possible they could calm down one day. but i dont think thats whats going on right now #i dont get why people are so obsessed with shipping amy with everyone anyway #shes just a little guy she should be doing average middle school aged girl activities like playing neopets or whatever #not entering serious romantic relationships . come on #especially considering most of her friends are a bit older than her #also the constant ''haha surge stole sonics girlfriend'' posts are getting on my nerves too #like my reasons for not liking the ship + the fact that the joke has already been made a million times aside. #it just always annoys me seeing amy be reduced to sonics girlfriend when theyre not even dating

[scatterpatter]

Feeling normal again

#tl;dr its less about the shape itself and more about the response #theres a level of coolness associated with the response #most people dont ever have an answer ready to go. most never thought of it before so theyll have to think it through. #if they think ur weird for asking and/or dismiss you entirely their vibes likely arent so good #many people will stop and think for a bit. and will likely give a reason WHY they picked theirs #if thats the case their vibes are p normal and youve now opened up a conversation starter congrats #possibly broke up some awkward tension by asking something so obscure and out of left field #then you have the people who had their answers READY TO GO. most of the time these people are cool as hell. #passing the vibe check with flying colors because you just gave them a reason to explain why trapezoids are underrated #or infodump abt a shape uve never heard of #OR you'll get the occasional 'what do you have a favorite shape' incredulous ask #and then you can quickly drop your own favorite shape (parallelograms my beloved) #which opens up the hidden SECOND VIBE CHECK #if they react positively to you having a shape ready to go their vibes are likely good #if they immediately think ur weird for having a favorite shape ready to go their vibes are probably not so good #its full-proof /hj #socializing is a science and i aint in STEM for nothing #<- totally neurotypical haha whaaaat im normal mhm totally normal #this is normal people things to think about

[jicklet]

Beast Boy + Raven episodes → The Beast Within

“I acted like a jerk. I’m sorry.” “You weren’t yourself.”

#teen titans #teentitansedit #beast boy #raven #bbrae #v watches teen titans #v posts things #bbraeeps #literal toxic masculinity the episode haha #that time when Beast Boy's most basic instinct was to protect Raven even if it was from the rest of the team #picking moments from that last scene was so hard the whole thing is so good #how impressive is Raven in this ep btw #everything in the ending scene of course #but in the beginning when he's being awful she doesn't back down an inch #sidenote anyone else with adhd get really stressed out in that scene where Robin is pushing beast boy to remember what happened #and he just can't no matter how hard he tries #in this case it was because he literally had no memory when he transformed but #idk it hits close to home #And with that we are finished with this gif series woooo #this has been fun

[fionnaskyborn]

Was tagged by @oceancamp to post my current five favorite songs! (They should invent a stages-of-grief-esque model that encompasses and accurately describes both types of anguish I had to go through making this list - the one of limiting myself to only five songs, and the one of trying to put as little videogame music on here as possible so that I don't end up looking like an absolute goddamn geek, which... I am... Oh well!)

Thank you so much for tagging me - here are the songs!

Heaven Pierce Her - War Without Reason

Tatsuro Yamashita - Love Space

This specific arrangement of Death And Republic + Meet Again

Winger - Junkyard Dog (Tears On Stone)

The Protomen - Light Up The Night

Is it courtesy to tag other people after you've been tagged in a post like this? If that's the case, I'll tag @spiralled-fury, @solradguy, @swamppossum, @five-by-five, @northstarring, @ineedmoredragons and @tbonechessor!

#logs #ya don't have to participate if you don't want to‚ from what i've gathered - it's all just for fun anyway :] #The link to Yamashita's song is actually a link to a website that hosts city pop songs‚ since those keep getting taken down on YouTube due #to the strictness of Japan's copyright laws with regards to music. Uploads of Yamashita's songs in particular get taken down quite #frequently... The rest are either Bandcamp or YouTube (in case of Junkyard Dog) links #Very out-of-character of me not to put a Кино song on here‚ haha #I had a hard time deciding whether to put HOLD BACK THE NIGHT or Light Up The Night here‚ but ultimately decided on Light Up The Night #because... hoo boy #okay storytime. i've known of the protomen since somewhere around 2021. got The Good Doctor in my recommended feed‚ clicked on it because #i thought the album cover was cool + the title was appealing‚ but i never really listened to anything theirs beyond that song after that. #fast forward to 2022. be me‚ watching the greatest videoessay on planet earth (Steak Bentley's Metal Gear Solid 4 Was A Mistake). #the fucking MONTAGE comes on‚ and I fall in love with my second Protomen song. second fast forward to 2023 going into 2024‚ finally got #around to playing the Violence update. i learn of the name of level 7-2. the widest‚ most mischievous grin appears on my face. #i enter the level‚ proclaim ''ULTRAKlLL IS NOW A STEAK BENTLEY REFERENCE'' and blast the song as i get my ass beat by every single thing in #that level. #and let me tell you. getting mollywhopped ten thousand times by the FUCKING GUTTERTANK TRIO AT THE END OF THE LEVEL WAS. not a pleasant #experience. but the song made it better. :) (i played the level before the balance patch came out and uh let's just say i had more deaths on #that level than on 2gabe and 1gabe. SEVENTY-FOUR. FUCKING. RESTARTS. JESUS /CHRIST/. #goodness how i yearn to make a 3d animation of v1 going through 7-4 with that song in the background as a tribute to the man himself but #alas i am a student who has everything in the world but time #thanks for the tag again!! ^^

[sysig]

Royal Scientist and his Majesty (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Handplates #Gaster #Asgore #My brainspace...... #I (again) still haven't reread (yet)! #Why are they taking over my brain who signed off on this #I haven't even been playing with Ghoster lately so what gives #I think it's the little glimpses I've been like half-looking at that are Just Intriguing enough to Want to read more but Not Yet #Maybe soon tho.........might be fun............. #Anyway lol until then! I've already drawn them so too late now haha #They really are cute ♪ I still haven't actually gone in on a Gaster study yet but giving him a one-over helped a bit on his face shape #He's sharp-looking for being so roundy hehe ♪ #I constantly want to be drawing him blushing I cannot explain the why I just do - honestly most of the inspiration for the mini lol #Probably because he's usually so cold it's fun to see him break a bit hehe ♪ In a nice way in this case haha #I'm sure once I reread again the type of Break will shift a bit hm ♫ #Some more Asgore! Ft. a brief sidestep into an alternate hairstyle I was testing out at the time lol - maybe a ponytail? That'd be cute #He's so tiny in comparison haha #Fits perfectly inside his cape lol ♪ Just peeking out - he could hide there so easily! Somebody looking for him? Shoop! Lol #And then the mini :) Inviting closeness and feeling conflicted and bittersweet ah #The appeal ✨ #They just have such a fun dynamic and while this might be a little more casual than appropriate hehe it was still fun ♪ #They just have such a contrast in looks in feelings but they can still be so alike and get along well #I like them ♫

[snixx]

good GOD can we stop gendering everything. I swear some of y'all just took the futch scale and decided to run with it as gender roles 2.0 (yassified edition)

#like use whatever labels you want for yourself and your communities idc! i love femmes i love butches im happy for you #my issue as always comes when yall start imposing those labels on anyone and everyone unsolicited #and ESPECIALLY when you tear apart other people for not being femme/butch enough #me personally i dislike both those labels because i know i will never be enough for them even if i try #plus i dont see the correlation between how a certain article of clothing or way of wearing my hair makes me more masculine or feminine #for ME that is. like if a skirt/kurti makes you feel more femme thats great. but that doesn't mean it has to universally be feminine #and telling me im femme because i like skirts is just reinforcing a universal gender to a piece of clothing #me personally i can't wear pants cause they're uncomfortable #anyway tangent aside. those “this is the most butch woman twitter can handle” posts were funny at first #but then they devolved into “HAHA twitter thinks girl with long hair is butch they don't know what a real butch is” #which is so annoying. what makes you butch. who gets to decide that #there is a problem when characters who express their butchness a certain way canonically get miscasted with traditionally femme stuff #and i get that butchphobia is very real #but also when that's not the case just let people express themselves man. you don't have to be dragging everyone all the time #girlblogging.pdf

[seilon]

every newer gen kpoppy who calls it revolutionary every time a big name bg member wears something vaguely skirt-like should be required to watch lee sungjong of infinite putting his whole pussy into performing coming of age ceremony by park jiyoon wearing the song's classic form-fitting black side-slitted dress with zero gimmicks way back in 2012

#its Required Material re: historical kpop genderfuckery #no but im 100% for real. this was in the middle of the era where bg members doing gg songs in drag and whatnot was a really #common gag at concerts and in variety shows and whatnot- especially using bg members who were/are considered the most effeminate #basically it was a big Joke and never taken seriously. alot of the time the dances would be exaggerated and whatnot and yeah they #werent like. REAL covers. werent usually respectful of the original gg/female idol's work and all that. haha man in dress type humor #i know if you're old enough to be following me and into kpop you probably know this already and im talking into space but whatever #anyway. sungjong said fuck that and fucking killed it with a genuine live cover (dance And vocals) of coming of age ceremony #which- as you can imagine based on the title- isnt just an iconic female idol song but one that's blatantly about female sexuality #and whatnot. wore the dress that's in the original mv (or something very similar) and didnt play it up with a wig or anything like that #(like what's usually the case when male idols cover gg songs to make it more clear that its a Costume and they are Crossdressing rather tha #just. being a guy and wearing a dress.) #did not shy away from the sexiness of the dance AT ALL to the point of riding the floor at one point more or less which. god fucking damn #but anyway. it's totally true to the original and is unapologetically sexy in an inherently orientation-fucking gender-fucking way and GOD #wish it got more attention than it did because THAT is revolutionary. thats the first performance i ever saw where a male idol did a #female idol song in the original female idol outfit live without any gimmick or even the implication that it COUNTS as drag. its SUCH a #big deal imo. and it helps that its really fucking hot but thats neither here nor there. anyway. i know its been years but i still have so #many feelings and opinions about sungjong's coming of age ceremony performance ghfgjhdgfdh WATCH IT #sungjong #infinite #kibumblabs

[linagram]

i'm still not over the fact that out of all the prisoners YURIKA is the one who has the highest chance to die. like man. we have a guy who stalked a random girl and really believed she was his ex and was completely okay with killing her bf. we have a woman who ran a kid over and would do so again even if nobody asked. we have kei sanada. AND THE PRISONER THAT IS MOST LIKELY GOING TO GET EXECUTED IS SOME GIRL WHO JUST WANTED NOT TO WORRY ABOUT MONEY AND A MOMMY GF

#i-i mean tbf. her job was bad. and her crime was. bad #but im also like.. wow... come on guys quick we gotta make other prisoners' lives hell too /j #(even though they are already. suffering a lot) #the thing is that yurika's case is fascinating to me. according to the verdict system if she gets voted inno this time #she DOES have a chance of staying alive under certain conditions. however. because this girl's crime was so bad SHE SIMPLY WON'T BE ABLE- #TO HAVE A NORMAL LIFE. AND TAKAME HAS MOST LIKELY ALREADY FORGOTTEN ABOUT HER. LOSER BEHAVIOR. #.. so i have to go and come up with an execution for her just in case.. haha.. #📱linagram timeline 📱 #🎀prisoner 008: maruyama yurika 🎀

[crescentfool]

going to keep this vague on purpose but playing reload has reactivated brain chemicals in me that i forgot i had.

i think i'd want to make a more thought out post later, but i think my favorite thing about reload (aside from seeing minato in full HD glory) is how much it's made me think about video games as a storytelling medium- specifically with what mechanics and game design imply for characters.

there's a lot of quality of life features added to reload that help players easily enter a flow state and get immersed in the gameplay (most notable with tartarus)! which is so dope! reload has been such a nice blend of the mechanics from both FES and portable and it feels like a love letter to persona 3 fans.

there are definitely mechanics i miss from FES (minato's ability to wield multiple weapons being one of them). i can't deny that FES has some dated mechanics that don't necessarily feel fun for the player experience... but!

i think i mostly miss things from FES because i feel like so much of minato's characterization (for me) was informed by the gameplay experience and mechanics (e.g. fatigue system). obviously there's still other ways you can put together his personality (his dialogue responses), but i think game mechanics are a bit part of it, for me.

but in spite of that, i think reload is a really nice introduction to persona 3, it's so much more accessible and has a bunch of things to help make it more fun :) so far i think i'd recommend it to people :D

#persona 3 #persona 3 reload #i don't even really talk about mechanics from reload specifically here but just in case haha #lizzy speaks #im really enjoying this game. i dont want to get into specific details abt reload in a text post atm #and if i do in the future it'll be under the cut #but my god this game is giving me big brainrot #i know i tend to mostly just be like 'hehe fanart reblogging time and here is me talking about the two guys i like' #but playing reload again reminded me of how much i loved playing FES because it was so fun for me to see how FES was designed #like... every time i finished FES i'd think about how much modernsona evolved the gameplay formula and built upon it #and now every time i finish reload i think 'goddamn they've really nailed the formula this experience is so fun' #but also it's fun for me to think about the different experiences curated by both FES and reload #i don't really know if anyone would play FES anymore with reload being out but i still really like the takeaways from FES #FES mechanics may not be the most convenient for the player but they definitely help sell the narrative in ways that only a video game can #like sometimes i just think about the movies and while its a good summary of the events it feels more like supplementary material #like p3 is 80+ hours and in order to have that 6 hour movie experience there's so much that has to be condensed/removed. they hit different #sometime after i finish reload im going to make a text post about my favorite mechanics from FES and how you can read into minato's- #character from it (i don't feel like it's very original but GUYS I LOVE GAME DESIGN GAME DESIGN IS SO COOL AND INTERESTING) #anyways. i needed 2 get my feelings out there. im on august 4th rn. this game is so awesome i love experiencing minato's day to day life #and i fucking LOVE TARTARUS!!!!!! (this tower is my beloved i can just live here forever). #i love having no expectations for video games ever because then i get knocked out of my seat im having so much fun. ok bye. back to the voi

[nebulouscoffee]

That scene between Tuvok and B'Elanna from 'Resistance' wrecks me actually... It's such a great moment for both characters (and actors, Tim Russ is SO underrated ugh) which highlights the differences between the two of them so well- yet, ultimately shows that under certain circumstances (in this case, torture) the distinctions between people... don't really matter. In an episode full of political violence, this moment is so significant, and I don't even really think I have the smarts to articulate why but I'll try lol.

TORRES: We told you already. We don't know anything about the Resistance.  AUGRIS: I've heard that many times, from many people. Take him.  (The forcefield is lowered, and Torres grabs the guard that steps through.)  TUVOK: Lieutenant, stop! That will not help either of us.  AUGRIS: He's right.

Everything about the way this scene (and the final shot where she's shoved back into her seat) is framed makes B'Elanna appear small, helpless- and embarrassed at her own helplessness- in that cell. We see her fidgeting, unable to sit down, constantly trying to break out or improvise her way out of the situation (she gets electrocuted earlier while trying to tamper with the circuitry)- it makes me wonder whether Tuvok was chosen to be tortured not because they believed he was more likely to have information, but because B'Elanna was more likely to be demoralised watching helplessly as he's dragged off. Augris's line implies that he's "broken" a great many people in the past; a tactic to instil fear and a helpless sense of inevitability in them both (torture doesn't work as a reliable way of extracting information; this is stated in dialogue in other Trek episodes such as 'Chain of Command' so the assertion here is at least not that- but what it does do is demoralise the public involved in resistances like this one.)

Later, B'Elanna is still trying to escape (do the guards know she's doing this? Are they just not intervening?) and she hears him screaming. Tuvok is someone who considers letting others witness him lose control over his exterior a huge (indecent, violating, humiliating) vulnerability, and the fact that he's the one being tortured is Not Insignificant in this context but like- it could've been the other way round. And B'Elanna knows that. It could've been her, and perhaps a small, scared part of her is relieved that it wasn't her, which is an awful way to feel (and if there's one thing B'Elanna hates, it's feeling like a coward). Also- the sheer violation of this, for B'Elanna to have witnessed him in this state, against her will- to later see him bloodied and weakened and flung in a cell, to have heard him screaming in pain- without his consent, knowing she can never un-witness it, knowing it wasn't her fault but still being put in such a situation where she has now played that role... Does this experience forcibly rewrite their respective conceptualisations of each other? Was Tuvok even thinking of her- somewhere outside, listening, worrying, blaming herself, fearing for herself, feeling ashamed, feeling so aware of him and her and the shared humiliation of this- when he was in there? Did seeing her upon coming back out change things? Could it ever change things? Did her presence, even as an outsider, whose memories of this event will always be (visually, at least) the constructs of her imagination- somehow make what happened in there real? Does her role as witness- and her memory thereby carrying some sort of legitimisation of what happened to him now, however warped and coloured by her own perspective and fears and embarrassment- make things better for Tuvok? Does it make things worse? Would he rather have endured this in secret? Would it have been better if she were a total stranger? Would it have been worse? And does any of this even matter when, for a moment, your life (your personhood, your goals, your presence) was completely reduced to what you "must endure"?

AUGRIS: We don't have to ask your friend any more questions, if you give us the answers.  TORRES: I told you I don't.  (Torres stops herself from hitting Augris, who leaves.)  TORRES: I'm sorry. I guess I always assumed that Vulcans didn't feel pain like the rest of us. That you were able to block it out somehow. Until I heard. Was that you I heard?

And the way B'Elanna's voice breaks when she asks this, as if she was still somehow hoping the answer would be no... There are complexities to this which again I don't feel like I'm smart enough to articulate, but like- yes, B'Elanna would like to hear that it wasn't him because that would mean her friend wasn't tortured "that badly", he wasn't put through "enough pain" to scream that way, and it's easier and more comfortable to think of violence (and violation) as something you can rank on a scale, and the lower on it Tuvok's experience ranks, the better! the more easy it will be for them to "move past" this! - but also, there's this element of "I want the answer to be no because that would mean I would not have been a participant in your humiliation, just some stranger's whose voice I don't have a face to put to, which is much better than having to know what you (my friend, my colleague, my respected senior officer, someone I will have to see every day on the bridge, someone I know prefers to keep vulnerabilities hidden even deeper than anyone else I know) sound like when you scream. But also... it doesn't really matter, does it...? Whatever he says, there always was still a moment- however brief- where B'Elanna heard a man screaming in agony, and thought it could've been Tuvok. And in that moment, that possibility was created. Now, it will always exist. That moment will always have happened. It will always have done something to her. It will always exist between them; an ugly, uncomfortable bond.

And this is getting into even more things I'm not smart enough to articulate, but like- it's pretty significant to me that B'Elanna is one of the few characters who never actually tries to poke Tuvok into Doing An Emotion, even normally. She doesn't consider trying to get him to crack an entertaining pastime, unlike others (and I'm sure her experiences of feeling like an outsider- always- feeling Very Visible As Klingon, play a role in this- "all they ever saw was my forehead" does not lend itself so kindly to "let's see if we can get Mr. Vulcan to smile", "why, Tuvok, it seems you've been corrupted by Human (read: default) rituals after all!"- it's a light-hearted joke for many, sure, but what if Tuvok genuinely considers the idea of smiling in the presence of others reflective of a humiliating loss of control and deeply debasing?) I think it's pretty clear from canon that he's just being himself; he's not trying to be a killjoy or trying to be mean, he's just Vulcan. And this is one of the few moments in Trek I can think of when a Vulcan's perceived "control" over their emotions is not connected with their reluctance to laugh or cry or say something sentimental, but... this. B'Elanna is shocked, she's horrified, she demands an explanation as to how he can possibly go through something like this and not feel the desire to "fight back" in a way she understands- and the way she cannot grant him the pretence of not having witnessed, here, the way she can't just shove this in a box, pretend she never heard, because she's just so fundamentally honest- and Tuvok (who is also so fundamentally honest), in a painful moment of openness, tells her exactly what his reasoning is. He lets her see. He lets her hear; on his own terms. He wants for her to understand (for her to witness?) his (very Vulcan) distinction between resistance and endurance; his understanding of endurance as its own form of resistance. Idk it's such a quietly powerful and like- devastating- moment for me... So many people try, over and over, thoughout the show, to get Tuvok to break his Vulcansona- try to make him smile, make him say tender things, make him get irritated- just to see if they can do it. Just to see if he'll ever crack. I bet B'Elanna wishes she never had.

#sometimes I write essays NOT at 3am! haha #cw torture mention #I'm also thinking (of course) about that scene between g@rak and 0do in The Die Is Cast #which is slightly different (but only in terms of technicalities) as a case of Torturer As Witness #it's not just the physical discomfort that thingamabob puts 0do through that's torture ofc #it is very much g@rak's PRESENCE in that room #they didn't bring up the whole ''his eyes'' thing for nothing #it is very much about Being Seen (and being Watched and Witnessed and Observed) #in a moment so humiliating and (for lack of a better term) dehumanising #also it is heavily implied that g@rak volunteered to do this not only to prove to Tain (but mostly to himself) that he still could #but also out of a sort of protectiveness over 0do #there's this element of ''I'm doing this so someone worse than me doesn't do it instead because they will likely kill you'' denial/self- #justification? which ultimately makes the scene about g@rak (and his own moment of ''breaking'') #and not 0do (would 0do have preferred to ''break'' in front of a total stranger? we don't know! it's irrelevant! and that irrelevance is #possibly the most violent thing about that whole sequence phew) #something something Presence As Violence something wish I could word this more intelligently ugh #I keep thinking of stuff that happens (casually) in police stations around me all the time... #voy

[ebi-hime]

I felt like writing something a little more ✨introspective✨ than usual, so here we go haha >_<;; So! This year I was able to release two projects in relatively close succession: Fragile Feelings (1st image; a cute yuri VN about a teacher and a nurse) and With Eyes of Ice (2nd image; a dark otome-inspired VN set in Iceland which has a bunch of pretty boys who Suffer). Though I released both of these stories in 2023, I actually wrote them all the way back in mid 2020. I wrote them back to back, actually: Fragile Feelings first, and With Eyes of Ice right after. I liked both scripts a lot, so i decided to turn them both into VNs... But working on VNs can be pretty difficult, even with very small teams like mine, as the people involved can be busy with other things, priorities change, etc, etc... And, in the case of With Eyes of Ice, I might've pulled the character artist off the project for 1.5 years to work on a self-indulgent BL VN about my two best boys, Yuel and Tavi, when Eyes of Ice was almost at the end of production hahaha oops....... I was working on these two VNs on and off for such a long time, I was wondering if I would be able to actually finish them... So, I'm very relieved that I did get them both done after all, and they both shaped up to be projects I'm proud of! I think everybody involved worked really hard; I love how they both look and sound. The character artists, background artists, UI artists, and composers all worked very hard, and I think these two projects are among the prettiest and most polished I've worked on! Now, I tend not to talk about the financial side of VN dev too much (because it's not much fun haha), but for all of the money and time invested into these projects, they weren't wholly 'worthwhile' endeavours. It's too soon to tell with Fragile Feelings, since it literally only just came out, but With Eyes of Ice hasn't really been doing so great sales-wise. It might have something to do with the fact that it's a weird quasi-otome thing which doesn't 100% fit the genre, but it's also prooooobably related to the fact I didn't talk about the story at all until like, 4 months before I'd finished it, despite having been working on it for 3 years already... Just maybe haha 💦💦 It's always a bit unfortunate when something you sink so much money, time, and love into doesn't get much attention, but that's the reality of VN dev. Making commercial VNs is pretty difficult already, because commissioning all the art + music can be quite pricey, and the sales tend to be rather low. Profit margins are slim already (and it's not uncommon for devs to fail to turn a profit at all), so I'm not wholly surprised. It's unfortunate, but I don't regret making With Eyes of Ice. I still love this story and these characters a lot, and I'm glad I stuck with it and finished it, even if it took me a few years! 💪

I'll probably continue to write weird stories which don't necessarily have a lot of appeal in the future, because that's what makes me happy, so I apologise in advance if I put out more stories which aren't too interesting to large swathes of people... But I'm very grateful for everybody who has offered me their support over the years! Some of my proejcts are successful enough (Blackberry Honey, Sweetest Monster, The Language of Love) that I can afford to invest my time and money into more niche things without having to worry toooo much about turning over a profit. I wouldn't be able to tell the stories I want to tell without all of you, even if it can take me a while to finish things up, and I'm very appreciative! I guess that's about it haha 💦💦💦 Thank you! 💙

#text #with eyes of ice #fragile feelings #indiedev #visual novel #but in summary #don't go into vns expecting to make a lot of money #because in most cases #you won't haha #but working on the projects you love can be rewarding regardless #and i feel very blessed i can still devote so much time to telling these silly stories of mine! #i was working on these two projects for A While so #i'm a bit emotional that they're both finally done haha...........