#because if Obi-Wan is legally mandated to get pregnant then he's going to ask Quinlan to do it

[phoenixyfriend]

Anakin Gets Pregnant and Causes a Scandal in Defense of the Jedi

Hey do you want a fic where Anakin's solution to a major political problem is something that many people would consider insane and irrational, and using the propaganda machine to grab galactic attention?

Because I wrote a fic where he does that, and everyone is very done with him.

Read here

Summary:

In which the Senate is trying to force the Jedi to up their numbers via a staggering violation of reproductive rights, Barriss is grumbling her way back to the Light, and Anakin's decided the solution to the Jedi's problems is to get pregnant himself. Problem: He doesn't have a womb. Solution: Bother Barriss, resident healer on parole, into helping him get one.

Gonna be honest, the only reason this is omegaverse is for the suspension of disbelief regarding the violation of reproductive rights. I tried it both ways, and the without-omegaverse version just left a bad taste in my mouth about Many, Many Countries trying to control access to things like abortion and birth control, so omegaverse it is!

-----------------------------------

The end of the war, the freedom of the clones, the return of Ahsoka—all of this should mean that Anakin is happy, and content, and watching the galaxy pull itself back together after all of Palpatine’s machinations were revealed.

(And going to his Council-mandated therapy after his near-Fall and the reveal of his little incident on Tatooine, but that’s a different matter.)

All should be well.

It is not.

“They can’t do that,” Anakin says, utterly blank. “That’s not—can they?”

“Not technically,” Obi-Wan says. He’s looking—exhausted. More exhausted than he has since the war had wound down. “But they can demand a certain number of missions fulfilled, and our numbers are currently too low to do so.”

“Because Palpatine sent us into a war that wiped out a third of our population, which is over half the adults, with the Senate’s support.”

Obi-Wan ignores him. “And nobody will give us their Force-Sensitive younglings.”

“Because Palpatine organized a propaganda campaign that made everyone hate and distrust us, with the Senate’s support.”

Obi-Wan continues. “And they can, of course, offer to make childbearing a mission to offset the mission minimum quota.”

“That’s insane.”

His Master gestures at nothing. “We’re working on it. They can withdraw funding—which we can’t afford right now, not with how skewed our age demographics are right now, and the lack of public donations—or filibuster on the clone rights.”

“So instead we let them walk on reproductive rights?” Anakin asks. “Omega rights? You—Obi-Wan, can you even handle a pregnancy right now? After everything in the war…”

His Master shrugs. He is so exhausted. “Like I said, Anakin: we’re working on it.”

--

“I’ve got a lot of people working on it,” Padmé says, and Anakin just bounces Leia in his arms for want of a better way to help. Padmé looks almost as frazzled as Obi-Wan had. “But the Senate views the Jedi as indispensable, and those who are on the fence about this ‘compromise’ are being pushed by long-term concerns regarding the piracy along the hyperla—Luke, no, honey, don’t put that in your mouth.”

That is in fact an entire braid that Luke is trying to stuff into his piehole.

“Let me take him,” Anakin says, and manages to take Luke in his other arm. Padmé gives him a grateful peck on the cheek, and then turns back to her desk. Moteé offers him a sympathetic grin from the corner.

“Obi-Wan won’t… he’s not…” Anakin trails off, because it’s not like it’s a secret that Obi-Wan is Stewjoni, or that he’s an omega. It’s not like Padmé, or even Moteé, are unaware of just how often Obi-Wan was tortured during the war.

He is the kind of carrier, in demographic, that the rich and powerful of less-egalitarian planets would salivate over. He is certainly already being talked about.

Obi-Wan has suffered so, so, so much damage. It could kill him. Regardless of gender equality and secondary dynamics and reproductive autonomy and species rights, a pregnancy could kill him.

“I know, Ani,” Padmé says. She scrubs at her eyes. “I’m a woman, even if I’m a beta, but I’m one that is in possession of a functioning uterus. Fully human and wealthy and well respected, but… already a mother, proven to be willing to have children, even suspiciously unmarried to the public eye, a… I’m too close to the problem for my opinion to be objective, according that testosterone-ridden hive of bullshit.”

Anakin grimaces. It’s always a slap in the face when Padmé curses.

“Mon Mothma?” he tries.

“Hardly better; she may not have carried any children, but still is theoretically capable of doing so,” Padmé says. She sits in the chair behind the desk and drops her head into her hands. “It’s all riding on alphas and men like Bail, despite the fact that he’s part of the demographic that has the least to do with this.”

“That’s insane,” Anakin says, not for the first time.

“It is what it is,” Padmé says, sounding distracted. She starts parsing through the datapads on her desk. “Right now, the problem has little enough media presence that we can’t rely on public pressure getting the Senate to cave, so… we’re looking into precedent, mostly. If the Senate pressures the childbearing members of the Jedi to procreate by way of coercion, or actual law, then it’s possible that more conservative elements of the Senate will look into attempting to reimplement such laws on their own planets with the Jedi situation as precedent.”

Anakin blinks at her.

“Okay,” he says. There’s nothing he can do to help with politics. “Do you… want me to take the kids for a few hours so you can focus on this unti—”

“Please.”

--

Anakin is halfway out of the building when a thought occurs to him. It’s not a very smart thought, by many measures. He decides to think on it.

(This is the start of many problems, for many people.)

--

“I bring children,” Anakin announces, shoving open Obi-Wan’s door with the Force since the hydraulics are glitching, and pushing the floating carriage with his twins in. “Okay, tinies, who wants to see Uncle Obi first?”

“Anakin, I’m—we have guests,” Obi-Wan protests from the armchair. “That’s not—oh, fine, yes, hello Leia.”

Anakin settles his baby girl into Obi-Wan’s arms, and turns to the guests on the couch as he picks up his son. “You’re not guests.”

“Rude,” Aayla says from the middle seat. She’s lounging back, and her fond amusement overpowers the annoyance and general malaise that’s suffusing the room.

“He’s a menace,” Anakin says, pointing at Quinlan, and then shifts the pointing finger to Aayla, “and you’re family, ergo, you don’t count as a guest.”

“I don’t count as family?” Quinlan demands. He looks like shit right now, honestly, when did he last sleep?

“Menace outranks family,” Anakin dismisses.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan sighs. “You’re a menace.”

“Yeah, but you got me young enough that it was cute at first,” Anakin rightly points out. He rocks his son a bit. “Anybody want to hold Luke? Warning, they are both still in the phase where everything goes into the mouth for investigation, so he will be grabbing for your hair or lekku.”

“You didn’t warn me of that,” Obi-Wan grouses.

“You already know Leia’s going to be yanking on your beard,” Anakin says.

“Give him here,” Aayla says, and true to form, Luke grabs for her lekku and attempts to stuff it in his mouth the second he’s settled. “Well, that’s clean enough.”

“Bet it feels weird,” Anakin says. He drops into the seat next to her and slings an arm around the back of the couch, using his other to brush over Luke’s scalp. “At least they’re not teething yet.”

“I expect you’d tell me if they were,” Aayla says. “Did the senator kick you out?”

“I kicked myself out,” Anakin protests, trying to keep his voice lofty and poised, if only because it makes Aayla laugh, and she looks like she needs that right now. “Or rather, took the kids for a few hours so she could concentrate.”

“On?” Quinlan prompts.

Anakin winces.

“Same as us, then,” Aayla mutters.

Anakin tilts his head. “Eh?”

Aayla gestures at Obi-Wan, and then at Quinlan. “Discussing the breeding law.”

“Eurgh,” Obi-Wan expresses, “don’t call it that.”

“That’s what it is,” Aayla mumbles. “Have a womb? Omega or beta? Put it to use or we’re cutting you off, medical exemptions be damned.”

“I thought it was coercion in replacement of missions,” Anakin says blankly. “You…”

“Officially? Yes. Unofficially…” Aayla gestures vaguely. “Council’s still fighting it, but they’ve sent out a memo through the medical offices to get a back-up plan for the other parent. There are rumors that some Senators are pushing for influence over who gets to play such a role; half are arguing for fellow Jedi, to increase the chances of the child being Force-sensitive, and half are arguing to be able to fuck us themselves.”

“Aayla!” Obi-Wan snaps, aghast.

“What? That is what is happening,” Aayla mutters. The only reason she isn’t crossing her arms in a huff, Anakin reckons, is that she’s holding Luke. “A single pregnancy is equivalent to three missions of the same length, with the current draft. They’re adding quotas. They are going through our medical records.”

“That’s…” Anakin trails off. Horrific.

“Pretty sure Vokara’s editing any records that aren’t public knowledge already,” Quinlan says. He’s got his head tipped back, staring at the ceiling. “But that’s not going to help everyone.”

Anakin tilts his own head back to look at Quinlan past Aayla, “so you’re here as moral support?”

Quinlan is, after all, not only male, but alpha. He’s not going to be directly affected, even if plenty of his friends are.

“I’m Obi’s backup,” Quinlan says, face turning just a bit to the side to meet Anakin’s gaze through half-closed eyes.

“Backup?” Anakin asks.

“As Aayla said,” Obi-Wan interrupts, “we’ve been told to have some idea of who the other parent should be, in case the motion goes through with the severity we expect. I’ve asked Quinlan to play such a role for me.”

That makes more than a dash of sense. Obi-Wan and Quinlan have been… not dating, but not not dating, since Anakin was a wide-eyed nine-year-old who was surprised to find that this random guy on his Master’s couch could understand all the Mos Espa swears Anakin was spouting after catching his hand in a drawer.

“You?” Anakin asks Aayla.

“Bly agreed,” she says, a slight blush on her cheeks. She looks at Luke, instead of Anakin. “If it weren’t for… I mean… if this weren’t being forced on us, and I wasn’t a Jedi, I’d actually consider it. Maybe. Some day.”

“With Bly,” Anakin prompts.

Aayla huffs a little breath. “If I ever decided to follow a more traditional family route, then yes. Probably with Bly. As it stands, I’m not inclined to do that, because I’m a Jedi, and also because I value my bodily autonomy.”

Anakin grimaces and also focuses on Luke again, mostly because he really doesn’t know how to respond to that.

The situation is worse than he thought.

“Can you keep an eye on the twins for a bit? I have to go ask someone a question.”

Obi-Wan makes a noise. “That can’t mean anything good.”

“Trust me?”

--

A.Sky: Sabé, need an opinion. Bad plan percolating. You available?

Tsabin: I’ll be free in a few. Send now.

A.Sky: Padmé says that there isn’t enough of a media presence for anyone to care about the Jedi reproduction thing right now. Would a high profile Jedi getting pregnant and using the ensuing media backlash to speak out about it mean people pay attention and get the Senate to You know Fuck off?

Tsabin: Whatever you’re planning, please tell me first.

A.Sky: But would it?

Tsabin: Technically, yes, but there are very few Jedi that are high-profile enough and capable of a pregnancy to my knowledge. Kenobi, but that’s a medical risk Secura, maybe Unduli or one of the council members Tano, but she’s too young

A.Sky: But someone really famous getting pregnant would work.

Tsabin: Ani. Please tell me what you’re planning

A.Sky: I need to check with someone about it first thanks for the help

Tsabin: Comm me before you do something stupid

A.Sky: I make no promises.

(Continue on AO3)

#star wars #the clone wars #rexanidala #anidala #rexwalker #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #barriss offee #padme amidala #captain rex #bant eerin #dorme #sabe #skywalker twins #mild #quinobi #because if Obi-Wan is legally mandated to get pregnant then he's going to ask Quinlan to do it #they don't actually get Obi-Wan pregnant in this fic because the motion hasn't gone into effect yet but anyway