#because i am like this ugly ass cave troll

[foulserpent]

@fantrorillaz submitted:

Guys, guys you’re not gonna believe this, so I fuckin’ I fuckin go to Peynon Wir- Weypon pir- fuck. I’m going to Weynon Priory because the fuckin, he’s like, he’s like the king of all of Tamriel this is Uriel. Fucking. Septim. And you guys know I’m not a fan of his work, but like, Xikeel was like sitting there filing her nails or somethin ignoring every word he said but I shit you not this fuckin, goblet-swilling like imperial dude. Yknow how like the super rich imperials are always swilling goblets like “oh! It uh- fluctuates the subtle flavor notes!” Or whatever but it doesn’t really do anything I imagine if he had like, some wine with him he’d be doing that even though, and I forgot to say this, he had a VERY large stab wound; that he kinda deserved not just because he’s the emperor, but guys; guys he fuckin would. Not. Shut. Up. About how he was gonna die. Not in the like “oh I’m so old! Gonna kick the bucket any day now!” But this man was like, takin it like a champ. Whole time he was like “yep! Gonna get murdered, it’s my destiny to die in this very spot!” I shit you not he almost pointed to the exact fuckin, dusty-ass corner of the dungeon that’s practically IDENTICAL to all other dungeons and STOOD there while some guy who has to conjure his own armor sneaks up from behind with the grace of a fucking. Like a fucking cave troll with his arms like *this* and everything and stabbed the man right there before like thirty guys with curved swords hacked him to pieces.

But anyway- oh yeah. Xikeel was like picking up the knife, lookin at it, looting the other dead bodies like she really didn’t give a shit and Yknow what I didn’t either but this guy he was talking 1. End of the world 2. Everyone dying 3. Some other dark shit and then; and then this guy fuckin, lobs this jewel the size of my fucking palm, like, [shows hand] you see my hand here? It was like from like, the middle part of my fingers here like to joint to the bottom of my palm that’s how huge it was. Nearly fuckin. Beamed me in the skull.

But anyway he says if I don’t want all that very bad shit to happen to everyone including me; I need to take it to some - I think his name was Jeff? Jeff. What a stupid fuckin name. Anyway I need to bring it to Jeff in Weynon Priory so I go do that. Shit’s the first thing I do because I’m freakin’ out because it’s the fuckin oblivion crisis not like- the oblivion vacation or the oblivion... thing but like an actual, interplanar demonic invasion typea crisis. So guys I get there, and I meet this Jeff guy and he’s like a monk, like you know monks, right? Not even like the cool kind we’re talking shitty robes, stupid haircut, probably just... sits in a chair and eats bread and cheese all day and he’s not allowed to speak and he’s like, this secondary old guy. So I tell Jeff I show him the fuckin’. Stone. Which at this moment I realize is the amulet of kings cause the guy tells me it is and WOW it’s UGLY, like if I was emporer you would not catch me dead wearing that shit.

Do y- do you think all emperors have like really strong necks? Do you think they just have big, beefy neck muscles under those HYUGE fur collar coat thingies from wearing this fucking paperweight all the time? Every septim probably has a thick neck or a really bad back probably, would explain a lot. Where was I? Oh yeah so we- Xikeel’s still there she’s kinda tagging along we’re buds, and it’s the end of the world so we’re gonna stick together. We give Jeffery the fucking amulet and then he tells us to go to Kvatch and my feet already fuckin’ hurt cause I had to like step on rocks n shit barefoot until I could find real shoes cause they don’t give you shoes in prison, but I’m gonna go anyway, I gotta go find a priest in kvatch and bring him back because apparently he’s some secret bastard king deal.

So I get there. And there’s an oblivion gate. And there’s spiders and alligator things and dremora and all this other shit I want NOWHERE near me but like. It’s in the way I gotta get into the church I gotta get the fucker back to Weynon Priory cause it’s the oblivion crisis so I gotta fuckin- use my shitty sword and bow and stuff and I’m mostly there as backup Xikeel is KILLING it and I mean that makes sense she’s some kind of like, assassin... thing... so it was actually pretty easy with her and we get to the church. Guys. This priest is so fuckin hot. Like I’m not saying he was tall had big muscles a nice chin, I’m sayin like, he’s like very “30s-40s got his life figured out gay man” with like a- like a he’s gotta bit of padding he’s a bit- what’s the word kids are saying “”thick”” ? Am I saying that right? He was... “”thick””?! I don’t fuckin care dude was hot. Anyway we get back to this monastery yankin my collar the whole time, I- I may have undone a button or two Yknow just get the pecs- the pec- the one pec I have kinda out with the chest hair and the scar to kinda try to look hot. Anyway, we get back to Weynon Priory and shit’s on fire, people are screaming and there’s fucking wizards. Everywhere. Like you know how you can have like rats...? Or flies...? This place had like a huge wizard infestation and they were just. Beating the SHIT out of everyone. So I run in kinda. Flailing my sword and at this point I am HUNGRY like I have had not had 1. Lunch 2. Or dinner. Like I broke out of prison right when they were gonna feed me like the dude with the fuckin’ tray was coming down the isle like “here’s your slop you elven scum” and I’d be like “thank you very much sir for the delicious food!” But no I gotta deal with this fuckin. Wizard infestation on an empty stomach.

So anyway like we get rid of the wizards, almost everyone’s dead and Jeff is like. “[gasp] the amulet of kings!” Like he didn’t have it on his fuckin person and I’m like... what’s going on? What’s wrong? I follow this guy upstairs and he’s checking his like desk drawer. Guys I shit you not he put the amulet of kings in his fucking desk with like. His keys and his lozenges and stuff. He didn’t even lock- he didn’t even lock it! He hid it like- he hid it like one of those jokes you play on your friends like “Oh no where did my inkwell go!!” And you just sit there with a smarmy look on your face while your friend fiddles around for it for like- an extra two seconds. Anyway, now I gotta go infiltrate their fuckin- wizard cult base and get the amulet back and hopefully it’ll be just that easy... but probably not... because seriously this whole thing has been a slog. Anyway guys thanks for coming to the stream see ya.

#i am literally in awe. #WAS THIS ENTIRELY FROM SCRATCH??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? #FAV #nasty ned #submission

[blackypanther9]

Part 8 - Loss and pain to go through...

Loki's POV....

I rode there as quick as I could. I needed to ask her so many things. How did she do, all those years ? Why did she got banished to exile ? Why didn't her friends meet with me anymore with time ? What did she do ? All these questions...and no answers ! After 15 minutes I was in her room alone and waited that she wakes up. After that I need to talk with Odin...I need to know something... I need to know, if I am cursed or something...

"Ugh..."

She wakes up !

Your POV....

Am I dead ? No. I felt pain in my body... What a dream...Odin took me back and Thor and Loki were there and Thor was such a jerk, Loki attractive...god, Laufey would kill me, if I told him about it...

"Ugh..."

Someone grabbed my hand, Laufey I guess.

"Laufey...you would never guess what a twisted dream I had... I dreamed that I saw my childhood friend, Loki, again and he had longer hair... and then this jerk, Thor. Big mouth, arrogant and just an ass. And war would be between us and Asgard again, because of that little dumbass... I mean what a weird dream is that ? Eh ?"

I giggled, still eyes closed, Laufey didn't respond. I stopped laughing.

"Gee...cat caught your tongue ? It was just a dream. Did I took your breath away or something ?"

Silence.

"Laufey ?"

I opened my eyes and didn't saw Laufey, instead I saw Loki. I sat up quick and jerked back.

"No.... I am still in my dream... this didn't happen in real... Did it ?"

Loki looked at me, then at the ground.

"It happened in real. You passed out, because of too much bloodloss, at the gate and Heimdall brought you here, as fast as he could."

I stared at him.

"That means... I am home again ?"

"Yes, that means you are home again."

"Shit..."

"You...aren't happy ?"

"No ! I hate Asgard... Odin banished me from here, my friend died here, my parents were here, my cat I had was here and I am hated here, because I get pushed into something, I had never done ! And now, Laufey hates me too, because you idiots didn't leave and I didn't want you to die back there !!!! Thanks for nothing !"

I screamed at my best, childhood, friend. It felt good, but also wrong. He didn't do anything to me and he wanted to go. I calmed down. Loki still stared at the ground, frowning.

"I am sorry, Loki. You didn't do anything wrong... I- thank you for saving my life. I'm sorry that I screamed at you...I didn't mean to."

He still stared down, frowning.

"I am sorry. That doesn't change anything, Loki. I don't hate you, I know you tried your best to leave with the others too. I am just mad at Thor and his dumb friends."

"I have a question..."

"Okay...go ahead. I am listening."

"Why are you so mad right now ? Just because the war or something else too ?"

"I...."

I sighed.

"I was about to take the throne in a few weeks. I wanted to show Odin with that, that I wasn't dangerous. If I would have had the full control over the planet, we would of had possibly gotten the casket back and save Jotunheim and the truce would still be intact. That was my plan..."

"Oh...so you were the Princess there ? You are his Daughter ?"

"First, yes, I am a Princess. Second, no, I am not his Daughter."

"Okay..."

"He is dying, Loki. He just then chose me to be the Queen there. He liked me, I was welcome there, but now... I am again...homeless... I bet with you, now that I got healed, I get sent back somewhere again, where it's lifeless and Odin hopes that I stay on this planet to rot. Like the last time he did, too bad that someone found me and picked me up... I lived with that person then 10 years and then I ran away. I fled to Jotunheim and stayed there since that day."

"Who was that someone ?"

"None of your business. I don't wanna talk about it."

"......Okay....."

Then a woman came inside the room and looked at my injuries, which were completely gone. She touched it and it didn't even hurt anymore.

"Prince Loki, she can leave now. Her wounds and her broken, twisted shoulder bone is completely healed. There is no need for her to stay any longer. She is dismissed.", she said and walked out.

I stared at him.

"How long was I gone again ?"

"For about 30 minutes I think...why ?"

"Are you kidding me ?! A broken, twisted bone needs MONTHS to heal !"

"Not here. Not anymore."

I stared at him and he at me.

"This place gives me the creeps..."

"Gee...thanks. It's my home still, you know ?"

"......Creep."

We both laughed.

"Then what are you ? A beast ?"

"No, guess again.", I said smiling.

"A troll ?"

We laughed again.

"Should we go now, Princess of Jotunheim ?"

"We should and it's Ex - Princess of Jotunheim."

"Okay."

I stood up and we went outside. We talked and talked about the past, what happened in our lives and I was angry at what Loki said.

"They dare to make fun of you ?! And you let Thor command you, like a little puppy, around ?! What the actual fuck, dude ?! I would have punched them in their ugly faces !"

"I wouldn't do that..."

"Coward."

"Hey !"

"No ! They laugh at you, make dumb jokes and always command you to do what they want ! And you don't even do anything against it ! What the FUCK ?!"

Loki now looked down, his tears near. I saw that and stopped him from walking. I didn't care, who saw us now. I pulled him into a tight hug and didn't let go of him, until he hugged back. He did it almost immediately. I felt his body having a bad time to breath normal, he whimpered and sobbed a little. I rubbed his back and whispered some calming things into his ear, like the first time. I will kill these Bastards... Nobody can do that to my best, childhood, friend.

"I will teach them a lesson... and when I am done with them, they will never see Asgard again and they will never get to Valhalla. I swear, I give them Hel...", I whispered, but Loki heard it anyways.

"Don't do that..."

I pulled away from him and looked at him angered.

"Stop being so soft to them ! What did they do to make you so soft ?! Are you afraid of them ?! The God of Mischief and Lies is afraid of some dumb friends of his Brother, Thor ?!"

"I just don't want that..."

"Loki...look at you ! They mock you every time, over and over again ! And you let it happen ?! Thor can't even handle the word 'little Princess', without losing self control ! And you need to stand it every time ?! Hell no, Loki !"

He looked down, I guess he is speechless of my caring and words. I pulled him into another hug and whispered in his ear...

"You were in my childhood my best friend. And if we are still friends, then you still are my favorite and best friend to hang around with... But if someone dares to bully my friends, then I bully them back. And if they then still don't stop, then I punch them really bad and the last thing I would do to make them stop, is killing them."

I pulled away and he stared into my eyes.

"I care too much for you, Loki."

"In what way ?"

"As my best friend, of course."

He smiled at me and I at him.

"Odin wants to see us, we should move on.", Loki told me.

I groaned.

"Fine, let's go to him..."

"Heimdall is there too."

"At the gate again ?!"

"No, at the throne room."

"Oh...Okay..."

"What I wanted to ask too..."

"Yeah ?"

"Your friends...they hate me...I guess..."

"Why do you think that ?"

"Because we did meet at first every time and then there were more and more missing... Until just I was left..."

"Oh Loki...They didn't hate you, they loved you and you weren't the reason, why you didn't meet anymore."

"Then why didn't we meet anymore ?"

"Loki...They are dead...all of them... They got killed or banished."

He froze in his place.

"D-dead ?"

"Yes...Morro told me. And I saw some die and the ones who lived in Asgard, they killed themselves, because of depression."

"What ?"

"It was clear, that they won't live long...but at least they had some good memories in the end..."

"I never thought..."

"I know, Loki. We never wanted to tell you that and make you suffer with the knowledge that some of us will die very soon. Jana and Lena committed suicide. Micha got burned in his own house to death, as I came by and put out the flames, it was already too late. Sahra got beaten to death from someone. Garmadon first got banished, then became a Sensei, what means he teaches others and doesn't have time anymore. He also has a family now and is very old. And Morro got trapped in a cave and burned to death there. They are all dead or banished."

"But Garmadon is.."

"Banished, Loki. He is banished from here."

"Oh..."

"Yeah...He is too old to be with us again. It's just a matter of time, when he dies...."

Loki didn't say anything anymore, for now.

Part 9

Masterlist with all Chapters of this Story click here !  

#Loki Laufeyson #Loki Odinson #Marvel #Thor #LokixReader

[isroselalondebisexual]

hiya!! i'm doing a trollswap kinda thing, and i'd really appreciate some analysis on the beta kids i've chosen! rose makara, dave peixes, john leijon, and jade captor! i understand if you're busy with other kidswap-related asks, so take as much time as you need to respond!! ^^

((Rose being Gamzee’s shade of purple is my hc for what she would be if she were a troll!))

(Also I know “indigo” is the canon description for Zahhak’s color however. Indigo is fucking purple-blue and I will die with my honor Hussie is WRONG)

Rose raised in a society that would expect her to act very high and mighty and violently would absolutely 100% end up “holier than thou” snobbish and drop-of-a-hat violent. I hate to say it but Rose would not end up anything like Gamzee in canon she would be a MENACE she would be society’s expectations for a indigo/purpleblood to a t. Having a Seagoatmom that’s never really around to give her any kind of emotional support or make her feel loved would only make her feel more angry at the world and feed into her violence. Like this is a girl who as a HUMAN with a mom who loved her, just was drunk, stuck NEEDLES INTO AN OGRE’S EYES AND RODE IT DOWN A WATERFALL like Rose as a troll of this caste would be HORRIFYING. She’s rich, nobody ever tells her no, there’s a cult that appeals to her because it’s that weird sort of horrifying Rose is into and also it’s something meant for her (Rose would probably favor the more violent aspects of it, that Gamzee didn’t really pay attention to). The kind of person who would MUCH rather pick a fight with someone who is wrong, than educate someone about what is actually right. Very stuck up kind of smarts, and she IS smart. She’s brilliant in every pursuit she takes. She’s just very privileged and buys into the rhetoric that tells her that she’s special, that she’s important, primarily because it fits well with what she wants but also because having a lusus that has abandoned her makes her desperate to find that validation that she IS important anyway and any place she can. Hot mess of a girl, surprising no one. As Seer of Rage, her quest is about her learning that there are CONSEQUENCES to her actions. And it is an ugly, messy personal journey that she does not want to have to deal with. Her fury, her destruction, her violence, her willingness to tear down the world if it does not suit her own wants and needs, those are admirable qualities, sure, when used PROPERLY. And Rose has been using them for malice. She’s been cruel. And now she has to see the results of her actions and emotions laid out in plain and it sucks. No one really likes being confronted with the things about themselves that aren’t good. But she must learn how to use her Rage for good purposes, and she must see the results of her fury, should she act on it. Visions of friends, hurt by her own hands, flashes of the future showing that she is WRONG, they’re not fun, but they’re useful, and she learns how to better herself. How to become someone who can balance her own nature with things like love and compassion, which takes the help of her friends, of course, but also holding herself accountable. John likely helps out with that, quite a lot. 

Dave Peixes, local hipster rich kid who likes hip new trends like “being nice to people” and “not killing each other.” He’s a giant weenie he probably doesn’t have designs on the throne, but he also very likely doesn’t do the shit we see Trizza do where he actually, like, RULES anybody. He defo has like 50000 social media platforms and lots of people follow him bc, wow, fuchsia blood, and he thrives off the attention bc yesssssss he IS cool and tyrian and important pay attention to him! There is no force on this earth or the next that is gonna stop that boy from wanting people to pay attention to him and being rich and extremely important and the only person in his entire blood caste is not going to put ANY brakes on that particular operation. Catch him taking selfies and using “alternative” paints on his nails. Like and reblog his cool scenic underwater photos and shore-side panoramas. Having a horrorterror as a lusus is nice, on one hand, because the giant writhing ball of noise and otherworldly fright loves him, but on the other hand he’s a soft dumb boy and he would REALLY hate having to feed her! Dave does not want to interact with things that are dangerous/deadly/sharp he doesn’t like that! He’d be very effected by having to kill things in order to take care of her, it’d affect his psyche very poorly. As Knight of Life, he’d be probably quite excited about being able to protect the living instead of having to kill things for his lusus. The prospect would also probably be pretty daunting, though, because he’s not used to that? He doesn’t know how? What is he doing. Having actual, legitimate responsibilities would be new for this very spoiled boy, and scary at first, but he’d get better and grow into it well. Being a swimmer, he’d end up very physically strong, and living in the deep waters of the Alternian ocean, he would have pretty quick reflexes, and if you know anything about me you know I like sea dwellers with big ol’ earfins and lots of freckles so please picture that and think about how cute he would be.

John Leijon would probably start out in a cave, get real depressed and lonely there, and move into a city, which would be a big culture shock and Catdad would probably take some adjustment ((”no you cannot eat the neighbor’s birdlusus I don’t care if it would be tasty, you Can’t.”)) but ultimately it would be for the best. His lusus loves him dearly and encourages him to always do his best, and growing up around a bunch of other trolls in a hivestem and being on the lower edge of middle class would be pretty pleasant, as far as Alternian pleasantries can go. Gets along with other trolls REALLY well! John’s got a pretty inborn social intelligence, even if he can seem dense sometimes, but this social smarts is a HIGHLY valuable commodity amongst trolls, who are raised to be far more close to the chest with their friendliness and emotions. John might start out seeming like a trick, and to be fair he does like practical jokes, but eventually he becomes the hivestem’s “This is John. He’s a little bit of an idiot but we love him and if anything happens to him literally every single member of this hivestem WILL kill you” and John just laughs and waves in the background bc wow, his neighbors are so theatrical! What a fun group. It’s so nice living in the city now. As Heir of Heart, his role is to literally embody emotions and the soul. People are not wrong when they say John Leijon has a lot of soul, that he’s got a big heart, he’s a loving boy who leaps at the opportunity to show that love. Ngl he probably has a crush on Dave in this. Just sayin. JohnRose is also a thing that I am thinking definitely happens in this. 

Jade Captor! Lower-class, but on the upper edge, could definitely die but isn’t LIKELY to. Probably has a sorta fatalistic sense of humor where she’s like “I’m gonna do the thing” “That could go wrong” “Then I’ll die :D” Probably gets really angry about the hemospectrum and how it doesn’t even make SENSE. Grrrrr!!!!!!!!! >:( She lives in a hivestem around bunches of other people LIKE SHE DESERVES!!! Maybe she and John even live in the same hivestem later on :D That would be so fun! They could be besties, like Aradia and Tavros were, but like they’d live in the same area so they could see each other every night :D She probably has a lot of close encounters with her own death and laughs them off because living in a hell society builds up that kind of casual PTSD. She gets very good at navigating danger though, because she’s an energetic girl with a short fuse and a loving but not particularly inclined to discipline lusus, and she can’t really keep herself out of trouble. Turns out to be a pretty useful life skill as the Witch of Doom, where her whole thing is navigating death and fate and misery and stuff. According to the canon extended zodiac quiz page, Doom is about empathetic sharing of misery, which would make Jade more of a listener, not a fixer, which, yeah, I can see her ending up that way. Life on Alternia sucks ass my dudes, and as someone in a lower caste there wouldn’t be a whole lot she could actually do to change anything, but by god she resents it, and she’s 100% willing to listen to you if you wanna talk about your problems. Probably resents the Aspect of Doom at first until she realizes that Witches are people who can change their Aspect, and then probably gets more into it. Because I am a sucker for Life/Death motifs, she and Dave are definitely very close friends, I’m gonna say moirails

#Rose Lalonde #John Egbert #Dave Strider #Jade Harley #Rose Makara #Dave Peixes #John Leijon #Jade Captor #kidswap #trollswap #trollstuck #answers #analysis #meta #homestuck #homestuck meta