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#bcs like in my discord status i write sometimes there n it may not be really clear? often even if it sounds v negative i don't actually
noxtivagus · 1 year
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IT'S ALREADY WEDNESDAY !?! DAMN 🥺 thursday basically now bcs it's just turned midnight here omg.
#🌙.rambles#despite the lack of time i'm not too overwhelmed! oh my god thinking abt it n i really love my friends so much :')#but there's that only one irl i have that has honestly been. hmmm. bcs i don't expect anything at all from others genuinely but it hurts if#you're the only one giving :') but i've been taking my mind off that. she's genuinely the only friend rn i have that drains me.#i still do love & care for her though! she's still my friend. other friendships i have whether irl or online is good enough ! but hmm#maybe i feel a bit anxious in general like i have to do more. sm more. i'm not sure. i'm sorry. i dont want to think too much rn#here's the thing i've had a lot more mood swings lately ( likely due to pms ) & i'm worried of how it may have unknowingly affected things#bcs like in my discord status i write sometimes there n it may not be really clear? often even if it sounds v negative i don't actually#mean it to that extent. it's often a bit dramatized bcs it looks cool. sorry. unless it's something like. oh yh when those two irls#excluded apollo n i on the day before our bday;; unintentional tho & i do realize that's just the kind of people they are.#everytime i spend time w them we just do whatever they want & we have a lot of differences. it hurt bcs it was our bday soon though &#with them i know from experience that they wouldn't reciprocate the similar kindness or gifts i would give or have given?#my fault for expecting something. expectations lead to disappointment. that said if i have problems with people....#i'm trying harder to bring it up. i know why they're like that ^ but maybe i'm afraid of unintentionally hurting them. yeah. but hmm#i apologized for smth i said then that day but i remember they just said 'hope you feel better soon' which kind of hurts thinking on it bcs#their actions that day made me cry a lot. it didn't seem like they care that hurt. & i realize those two though. they don't . yeah.#idk how to say but they've never been there for me when i need it. genuinely never. i can't see them being my best friends in the future.#they've never been there to ask me how i'm doing. to offer if they could help me. i've done that for them. i don't expect reciprocation but#it hurts when you feel the effort isn't returned. it's been like that for a long time. i've expressed several times wishing to have#heart-to-heart talks but they've never gone through bcs they don't work towards it too. that said though. i'm human. i have my own life#my own emotions and struggles. it gets so draining when it feels so one-sided. & then i feel more sorry that maybe my mental health#in general ends up bringing down my other friendships? sometimes with people if i don't really interact it's either i'm busy or#tired. just shy or anxious in general. or i feel unappreciated. recently it's been a mix of all that so it's been hard to do more than i ca#thank you tho for everything all of you have done. i wish i cld do more for you. arghh i'll go on as i can w my limit but recently#there's maybe this distance i'm too tired to cross rn? i'm a bit tired rn but i think i'll be ok again soon! i'm motivated when it comes to#my interests. passions. just forgetting stuff relating to ^ i'm not TOO stressed bcs i look forward to these games n books n ideas n all c:#i'm a bit tired rn but i'll distract myself! this too shall pass. i was doing better earlier. soon i'll feel better again as well 🤍#i'll be productive when i feel like it! i can rest. i can take it slow. at my own pace. it's hard n i feel bad for that but i need to.#it's enough to realize i'm tired & let myself rest. just live rn. i don't have to be so harsh on myself. i can rest. but. i'm sorry....#so much to do. so much yet unsaid and undone. in all aspects of my life. i'm not sure what to do first. it hurts. i'm tired. i'm sorry
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flightsrsk · 4 years
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hello hello all !!! my name is riley and this is my actual trash son maverick, aka the flight risk !!! i am so so hyped to get the ball rollin on this, so check out info on my kid under ze cut !!
warning: this got rlly mcfreaking long and i am so sorry fjdklsjs i am incapable of writing a short intro post
unfortunately i will not be able to be around for the official opening bc i’m on vacation w my fam and godparents, but i will try and intermittently read intros and chat to you guys about plots !!!! PLS feel free to bombard me through IMs or through discord if any plot sparks ur interest or u think mav could fit well in one of ur plots!!! :’)
THE BASICS
Name: Maverick Hobbes Braxton
Age: Twenty-one
Gender: Cismale
Pronouns: He/Him
Major & year: Philosophy, Third year
Faceclaim: Alex Fitzalan
Occupation: N/A
THE FLIGHT RISK
Maverick Braxton, as you might see, is an enigma—or rather, has evolved into one, slowly: a transformation that begun with his first breath. In his early years, the stage had been set for him, line by line. Act One: attend prep schools, excel in classes. Act Two: attend Covington, take center stage—you know, all of the things his older brother, Richard had accomplished with ease, just one year prior to all of his expectations. It was simple, really: a blueprint laid out ahead of him, with little to nothing in his way.
The only problem was that Maverick didn’t exactly see the point in choosing that path, that stage, that story. To him, it wasn’t challenging.
That, and the fact that the life laid out in front of him offered him absolutely nothing.
A series of banal expectations, unfair comparisons, and heartbreaking betrayals, and the traditional life of the Braxton child was thrown out the window—at least, in his brain, it was. See, Maverick Braxton, while independent, coy, and arrogant, isn’t stupid. He knows if he pleases his parents just enough, they’ll still distribute his trust fund and still bail him out of legal trouble when he inevitably tiptoes too far down the delicate line between ambition and rebellion. Perhaps it’s a bit selfish, but what does he owe to a family who paid him no attention, who never asked of his well-being, his own ambitions, his personal dreams?
He’s the kind of person to drive down the highway, windows rolled all the way down, cigarette lit—not because he necessarily likes the taste of nicotine, but because he likes the way the smoke creates clouds that obscure reality. He’ll surprise you in class when he interjects with a sarcastic but surprisingly salient point before throwing up his hood and retreating to the back corner for the rest of class. He’s the kind of person to start reading a book, flipping incessantly through the pages, both impatient by the pace of the plot, yet put it down before he reaches the final pages because he doesn’t want to be disappointed by the ending. He’s the kind of artist who rarely finishes a sketch, the writer who is never satisfied by a poem—for fear, of course, by deep-rooted insecurities that nothing that he will ever do will be enough.
A once-broken heart had taken time to mend, even though it seems ice-cold and whole from the outside. It’s why he has commitment issues: he doesn’t want to be burned again. He plays off his flirtatious bit as a personality trait, someone who is bored by the prospect of being tied down—and yet those who share his bed might consider him Covington’s most surprisingly deep pillow-talker.
An enigma, you see—one who doesn’t stick around long enough for anyone to truly understand, truly a Flight Risk.
BIOGRAPHY:
( You can read his full biography here! Still in the process of editing it a bit, but below are some important bullet points! )
Maverick was born the second of three children to the Braxton family—and as per usual with the Braxton children, he was born into a life filled to the absolute brim of expectation.
His father, a playwright, his mother, an actress. His brother, a theatre prodigy—what part did that leave him to play? The assumed expectations were to follow in his mother and brothers’ footsteps and take center stage; he excelled, for a while, but Maverick always felt lost.
Neighbors and family friends would always ask if he had measured up, in each and every shape and form: it was like the entire universe had a scoreboard with their names titling each section, and Maverick was always playing catch-up, never knowing where the finish line was.
For a while, he stuck to the script that was given to him: study, succeed, repeat. He tried to understand the ins and outs of his father’s work, of masterful acting techniques, trying to make a large enough splash to where his family would even notice the work he put into his life. Surprise: it didn’t.
It took him seventeen years to truly understand that his role in life was not exactly the story his parents had laid out for him, but rather, his sibling, instead.
Downcast emotions transformed quickly into cynicism. What used to make him feel sad now fueled a blue fire within Maverick’s chest, one that felt wronged by the system he was placed in: a complete first-world problem, but it was then and there when he decided to take advantage of his situation, given that he had spent his entire life dedicated to a part he wouldn’t play.
Hypocritical as he was, he still enjoyed the fruits of his parents’ work, cashing the unlimited checks with his name on them, as if it was some sort of sick version of love.
One piece of recognition that Maverick finally earned was an acceptance to Covington—and even that couldn’t be tainted by his brother’s success or his legacy status.
At Covington, Maverick has both lost and found his footing, multiple times. He’s quit acting, quit studying theater, in favor of a topic that stimulates his brain more than reading lines and
PERSONALITY:
Maverick Braxton is certainly a paradox. He’s charismatic, funny, and has a witty sense of humor –– and is generally appreciated by his peers because he’s able to move conversation and discussion without making topics seem dry.
Despite his apparent inferiority to his sibling, the Braxton family still breeds the cream of the crop. He’s certainly a bit arrogant sometimes, given that he’s intelligent, innovative, and clever, and wants to be recognized for it –– however, even if he might not show it on the outside, he appreciates a good challenger. He thinks it keeps his wit sharp, and of course, his ego would never show it, but he does appreciate learning from people. After all, his passion in philosophy, his current area of study, makes him certainly interested in how the world works.
Those who happen to get to know Maverick outside of the surface-level stuff, outside the initial cockiness and flirtatious front he puts on will know that he’s actually quite thoughtful. His lonely childhood has made him extremely loyal to those who have shown him similar trust and friendship –– he would never turn his back on them.
He asks probing questions, is a good listener –– perhaps because he’s interested in human decision making, but is also because he doesn’t quite know what it’s like to be loved unconditionally –– though he wants to.
Deep down, what almost no one knows is that he’s really quite soft. He passes his curiosity off as wanting to understand people, when really it’s a mechanism for hoping someone asks him questions in return, to give him the time of day he wished his parents ( and the rest of the goddamned universe ) had given him.
Despite his theatre prowess, he isn’t actually a particularly good liar. Those who spend enough time around him can hear his tone of voice incline slightly and see him scratch his brow.
AESTHETICS:
coffee-stained mugs, walking with headphones in but nothing playing, untied shoelaces, black hoodies, a cheeky smirk, small books in his back pocket, writing in the margins, unfinished poems, quoting old authors on a daily basis, incessant eye-rolling, pen ink stains, an unmade bed, mismatched socks, floral ties, empty bottles of liquor, rose thorn pricks, old worn poetry books, polished dress shoes, calloused fingers, unlit cigarettes between teeth.
HEADCANONS:
Funnily enough, Maverick’s name means ‘independent, a noncomformist’, which is exactly the path that he has taken to stray away from his family’s expectations.
He does have one strong connection to his family, though: his grandmother, on his father’s side. She understands the pressure he undergoes, who saw the pressure Maverick’s father endured to obtain the success he has. She is one of the only reasons that Maverick has not just jetted off to take on his own adventure. He loves her dearly, and wishes that her empathy and wisdom would rub off on the rest of his family.
Maverick has some form of synesthesia, which allows him to remember a lot more than the average person. He associates colors, smells, sounds, to words –– and allows him to efficiently study any subjects he doesn’t have immediate passion for.
In the privacy of his own bedroom, he sometimes writes poetry and sketches his thoughts and muses –– when he knows he’s in complete privacy. Faces and features that appear in his sketchbooks are often those he’s thinking of often, those who intrigue him. He’s actually quite good a sketching, maybe not quite as good at writing poetry.
His room is spotless –– evidence that he is a bit of a control freak sometimes. It shows that during his adolescence, he reveled in the parts of his life that he could control and perfect.
tw drugs. He more than dabbles in drug use, smoking marijuana maybe every other day, while partaking in harder drugs like cocaine and adderall and others probably once a week. He feels like he’s in control of his use, but it may start to get the best of him. end tw.
Maverick is left-handed. He hates that he gets pen ink stains when he draws, writes poetry, takes notes. His left palm is probably perennially covered with ink.
Though he’s often wearing headphones ( airpods, of course, the nerve of this rich kid ), half the time, nothing’s playing. Sometimes he forgets to press play on his phone, sometimes he purposely likes listening to decision-making and conversations of strangers. it lets him think about the nature of mankind.
Maverick’s favorite philosopher is Albert Camus, known for his work that heavily developed the idea of absurdism ( much to do with the meaning of life, and human inability to discern an answer ).
Maverick’s preferred method of transportation is his skateboard. he loved it first because his parents hated it: pushing himself around on a board like that would get him injured—besides, why not just take the car to school, the driver had been paid for anyway? It was his first taste of rebellion. Now at Covington, where skateboarding is far more efficient than walking across campus, it comes in handy when he sees someone he’d rather not stop and chat to.
Maverick could die with a poetry book nestled on his chest—it’s the one thing he got out of the impressive book collection his family owned. There was something daunting and beautiful about the way poems would transform metaphors into something fantastical, like the emotions were clearly there, but the words were skirting the issue. Kind of like how his parents would never really tell him they loved him.
Maverick often has headphones in when he walks to class. not particularly because he’s actually listening to music or a podcast, but rather because he’d just … rather not be bothered to stop and talk to people.
Maverick loves to draw. He’s mostly self-taught, with a bit of mentorship from his high school art teacher. Evidenced by the rest of his fleeting personality, he rarely finishes a sketch or painting. He claims he never has time to finish them, but the number of crumbled-up, half-finished sketches in his trash bin might say otherwise.
PLOTS
** see my wanted plots tag here too! // and my plots page here !!
* FIRST LOVE / OPEN.
It wouldn’t be easy to make Maverick feel like even more of a disappointment than he already had with his parents, his family—but your muse proved this feeling wrong. He loved them, more than he’d ever loved anything before. In the midst of confusion about where he belonged, he felt safe with your muse; he’d do anything for them. Things ended, he felt betrayed ( though the break-up could have easily been due to a fault of his ), and the split made him the one who now struggles fully with commitment. He doesn’t want to have his heart broken again. See: this entire pinterest board.
but also if u give me this ……………… i’ll name my firstborn after u
* BEST FRIEND / OPEN.
Those who go through similar childhood traumas are often able to understand each other –– that was how it worked with Maverick and your muse, at least. They’re thick as thieves — and have likely seen the ups and downs of Maverick’s life in real time.
* CHILDHOOD FRIENDS / OPEN.
Self explanatory—and also probably knows about the pressures the Braxton family imposes on their children.
* EX-FRIENDS / OPEN.
Friends who were close, close no longer. Maverick’s a real piece of work, and an asshole, too—there are myriad possibilities for why Maverick could have pushed them away. He wouldn’t openly admit that he misses being around your muse, but he certainly would feel a bit of guilt given that they’re no longer the closest of friends.
* MOMENT OF WEAKNESS / OPEN.
Your muse, in whatever unfortunate setting, saw a glimpse of Maverick’s soft side that hardly ever makes an appearance. He’s not going to let them tell the world about his vulnerabilities, though. Not a chance.
* DISLIKED / OPEN.
Maverick is sarcastic, cold, and sometimes emotionless. It’s not surprising that not everyone gets along with the middle Braxton. The possibilities are endless—throw in some sexual tension and I’d actually fall at ur feet.
* PREVIOUS ROOMMATES / OPEN.
Your muse, at one point, probably knew Maverick better than everyone else at Covington. They overheard some of his phone calls with his parents, saw his notes for how he was to achieve his life goals, heard him crying in the middle of the night when he thought your muse was asleep. They could be extremely close now, as in one of the few people Maverick opens up to, or could be distant friends who know about one anothers’ struggles. The possibilities are endless, tbh.
+ ANYTHING LEGITIMATELY ……… IF U THINK THERE’S POSSIBILITY FOR SOMETHING COOL W MAV AND UR MUSE. SIGN ME THE F UP. THANKS.
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sirsapling · 6 years
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Another Ask Game
I was tagged for this by the amazing group of @festiveferret, @ashes0909 and @bardingbeedle
Name: N/A in the process of changing it  Nicknames: Sap, Sapling, you little shit, there are many. Gender: Trans Male Star sign: Aries Height: 5′7  Time: It was 16:30PM but then I stopped to read the new chapter of almeno tu nell'universo by @silkspectred so now its 19:10 (sue me it requires a slow read and then i had to eat). If you aren’t reading this story you fucking should be it’s gold and makes me feel things I haven't felt in a long time. Birthday: April 9th Fav bands: Cold play, The killers, Take that Fav solo artist(s): I kinda just listen to whatever comes along, I collect my music like a weird magpie, so I can’t think of one specifically Song stuck in my head: She Moves In Her Own Way - The Kooks Last movie I watched: Paddington 2. It was okay, I’ll fight anyone who say’s he’s better than winne the pooh Last show I watched: Last week Tonight with John Oliver. Its been a shit week and thats my favourite and comfort show When did I create my blog: well, My first post wasn't until 2017 but according to my email’s I created this blog in roughly may 2015. So I lurked for a while. Last thing I googled: ‘red saleen s7′ There was a porny and enlightening conversation in the 616 discord about Cop!Steve being bent over the hood of said car by tony. We have fun over there. Do I have another blog: nope, but I may be transitioning this blog into an art blog and opening a separate blathering blog, or the other way around. Do I get asks: Not often, and I’d love to get more! I’m chatty as hell you guys I’m always ready to talk. Especially about SteveTony. Why I chose my URL: This has been my user name for the past like 4 years? maybe 5? on Deviant Art and Twitter so it felt natural for it to be here. Following: 120 Followers: 376! So close to 400. Avg. hours of sleep: either 2 or 8 no in-between, #artstudentlife Lucky number(s): 1610, though writing with @festiveferret is starting to make me look for 89 all the time  Instruments: I have a grade 1 qualification in the tenor horn, but I stopped playing just before I hit grade 2 because I didn't think I practiced enough to deserve taking the chance to play from another kid. What am I wearing: A nasa apollo 5 shirt and some grey shorts. Its pre deadline weekend and I’m in all the pain so fuck real clothes Dream job: I want to draw comic books or illustrate children's books Dream trip: Canada! which I might be going to in July knock on wood! Fav food: argh I always have a different answer to this but right now its popcorn, sweet and salted, from a bag and not the microwave. I’ve had cravings like crazy for it recently because my mental state is in the drain Nationality: British Fav song right now: Fill My Little World - The Feeling Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw. I tested again recently and got Hufflepuff on the official website but fuck it I got Ravenclaw on the Cambridge made test and Im holding onto it Fav animals: BEARS OR SHARKS, AWESOME CREATURES Dog or cat person: Dog’s but I still like cats, I’m just always worried I might pet them wrong Blankets you sleep with: normal duvet, sometimes on top of it if I'm too hot, but I’ve also slept in a chair with like a kids avengers blanket so I dont think I’m picky Why you got a blog: uhhhh I think I wanted to like, follow some people from deviant art but then just never really used it?? until @hellogarbagetime started posting and I wanted to be able to like, respond and like that stuff, then I just stuck around because it was way better than DA Top (3) fav characters: Tony Stark, Steve rogers and idk if it counts bc he’s around for like 4 seconds but the more ults and make the more attached I’m getting to Anthony the gem/tumour. He’s a special boy. No. of posts: 404 Pokemon team: Last time I played it was Primarina, Raichu, Froslass, Lurantis, Mudsdale and Kommo-o  Fav color: Blue Relationship status: Single Lip- or chapstick: I don't tend to think about it but you’d never see me in lipstick so chapstick for when its dry.  Last song I listened to: Swim - Fickle Friends Top (3) shows: Last week tonight, Parks & Rec, and Brooklyn Nine Nine. Top (3) ships: Stevetony and I don’t really ship anything else actively but uh bucky/nat and rhodey/carol are always nice Books I’m reading: uhhhhhh shit last thing i was reading was the 4th ASOIAF book?? I’ve been really fucking busy man.
tagging: see, the problem with being friends with a largish group of people who are also friends is I can’t keep track of who’s already done it and y’all have already all fucking tagged each other, SO IF YOU SEE THIS AND YOU WANT TO DO IT, take this as your tag.
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