#bc it their relationship had finally reached the ‘it’s like kicking a dead horse’ phase each time they try to restart it

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

a boomer: kids these days/millennials these days just don’t know how to stay together forever anymore??? and they also don’t know how much better “staying together for the kids” is??? they don’t know what commitment MEANS anymore. why is no one getting married???? or why are millennials staying in relationships and not tying the knot like everyone should???

millennials: uh some of us do the whole “staying together forever” thing when we DO get married. but most of us aren’t getting married to our “high school or college sweethearts” or our “soulmates” mostly because we’ve acknowledged that we no longer gel with the person that we’ve known for many years, and dated for let’s say maybe 4 years (uni/college sweethearts) at minimum or a 7 year maximum, possibly (high school sweethearts)....

but through the personal and couple growth of our 20s; some of us realise that we no longer fit with our partner and so we agree to break it off (if we’re in a healthy and respectful relationship that is). why stay together with someone that you’ve grown so far apart from?? and especially if you have vastly different views and goals in life to your partner.

if we have kids, maybe some of us will “stay together for the kids”.... but if we’re in an unhealthy or an abusive relationship; we might just have to leave our partner and take the kids out of harms way (although this will take a fair amount of time actually).

or maybe it could be a mutual agreement between the couple (which is nobody’s fucking business but theirs) that they split amicably bc it’s healthier that they live apart even though they have kids???? like i don’t fucking know people’s living and relationship arrangements and agreements/disagreements. and neither should you, tbqfh.

we do know what commitment means, thanks. but with the cost of the standard wedding with an ample amount of guests say like 300 (obvs before the pandemic) and with a decent venue etc etc etc; weddings costing up towards like $36,000 (????, in australia) what goddamn millennial has THAT type of fucking money??? when we’re paying off student loans close to that price anyway (for a double degree, or a degree in an expensive field, or maybe a postgrad degree or whatever)???? like you’re fucking kidding us right??? and that doesn’t even cover the cost of a good engagement or wedding ring- where you’re looking at a good at the most $1,700 ring or at the least maybe $850 for a cheap ring from a decent & reputable jeweller.

like obvs you can do weddings on the cheap... but with pressure from parents/friends or instagram or pinterest or wedding game shows or ~bitter, bitchy and catty female one upmanship~; some couples may overspend their budget extensively and might be paying off an incredibly expensive wedding that they feel like they didn’t really need at all- as it was really truly thrown for their GUESTS (family & friends) and not really THEMSELVES.

and a couples decision whether they want to get married or not is, again, nobodies motherfucking business but their own??? why the fuck do you have to be so nosy??? maybe living together as a de facto couple or whatever for life works better for most people??? especially again, like stated above, when the median price for DECENT weddings is literally an arm and a fucking leg??? why go into a lifelong union already shouldered with a load of fucking debt????

also. moreover, on the topic of weddings and stuff; do you know like 999% of the planning etc ALL FALLS on women??? and then the media have the goddamned AUDACITY to paint women as “bridezilla princesses 👑👑!!! when something isn’t done exactly right for them... when in reality, they’re the one burdened with all the BULLSHIT about flowers and food and clothes and guests, wedding invite design, the all important cake, her hen’s night... the list goes on and on. while the guy gets to do fuck all basically, except for getting his suit fitted and having his stag’s night.

hell, when i used to watch wedding planning etc shows; i remember that nearly half the contestants (for a competitive one)/participants broke up say like 3 months after their episode aired; because they realised through doing those shows that they were never a good match in the first place.... but it took either national or international tv broadcast embarrassment, nosing into their relationship dynamic/business, for them to realise it.

and speaking of those wedding comp/planning shows and even shows like “the bachelor/bachelorette”.... for me, it’s what made me so cynical of love/relationships and weddings altogether. because how often or long do those couples stay together??? like maybe tops 2 years if they were a bachelor/bachelorette winner or when they’ve won a show like “the farmer wants a wife” (an aussie dating/wedding show that focuses on rural farmers obvs). or “married at first sight/MAFS” (🤮🤮). and they don’t stay together often. hell, most of them breakup on the show or straight after the show airs/stops filming. like ugh. how do you expect millennials to be so trusting of love and relationships when they’re literally BOMBARDED with bullshit shows that take the absolute trivial piss on relationships both figuratively and literally????

honestly fuck these shows and fuck the boomer (and probably gen X) tv execs for pitching and producing them... and then getting pissy at millennials for having “commitment issues” and “never getting married” et al. also fuck you for thinking that people’s relationships and how they navigate them is entirely all of your business; when these issues are literally fucking not your business at all.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #relationships i guess #but seriously though #i had this convo with my dad the other day #bc i was messaging one my friends the other day on fb #and she told me how her and her partner had finally decided to call it quits #bc it their relationship had finally reached the ‘it’s like kicking a dead horse’ phase each time they try to restart it #and her and her partner had been dating since me & her were like 17/18 and he was like 20/21 #so they had a solid 7-8 years #two of which were spent of me and my friend being in high school #like that’s A LOT of growth from 17/18 til 25 #and also a lot of growth on his part from 20/21 til 28 #like of course you might grow apart eventually #it’s inevitable when you’ve spent nearly all of your 20s together (for him) and most of your 20s together (for her) #and plus we’re all hurtling towards our 30s pretty fucking fast #especially on his side (since he’s 28) #like 30 is a staggering amount of growth isn’t it (in a sense?) or at least bits supposed to be #but yeah. anyway. #i’m still sad they broke up. i loved them as a couple and they’re still amicable/ended as good friends #they were supposed to get married/were engaged at one point #and then they broke up a few times so yeah. like. anyway.