#bc i am always here for you to coo about a plot with someone

[beefboyandbabygirl]

my fic timelines (for fun) !

SPOILERS FOR ALL MY CURRENTLY RELEASED FICS, just thought this would be fun for anyone that enjoys my stuff. You can kinda get an idea of what the fic is before it's y'know the full, completed thing. Sometimes I write down specific quotes I want in the story, and most of the time I also plot out the metaphors I want to use and stuff to sort of keep everything connected (but i have decided to forgo the metaphor-plotting). Also sometimes I end up changing things from how it's originally intended (just in case u read smth and ur like "thats not the way it was!"). the girl code one is soooar funny frs

*also shiver me timbers doesnt have a timeline bc its so short lol

GOODBYE, FOURTH OF JULY:

party-party sad

how yn and chan met + how yn is avoiding him during classes now, purposefully making herself late so she can sit with someone else and chan watches her intensely across the lecturehall 

chan FINALLY gets yn to his house while hes getting ready for a date. theres like a semi confrontation where hes like “i can tell your lying u kno” og yn er like… “no im nooooot” 

yn is soooooo depressed. so seungkwan and soonyoung and host an intervention (seungkwan is a second opinion)

chan develops a theory that someone mightve harassed yn at the party and he has heard women can b embarrassed ab that type of thing 

chan finally rips yn to his house and hes ANGRY bc shes been ignoring him and shes scared and feels bad and they have this big argument (“WHY WONT U LET ME HELP YOU”)  where she ends up confessing and chan realizes in that moment that hes in love with her too

super hot sex w praise and sweetness and desperation TIHIHIHIHIH

JUDAS IN THE WINDOW:

Yn comes home, thinks about chan blah blah sees him in window

Yn explroes the suburban ass town, sees the church is drawn to it. Is surprised to see chan in there WEARING A PRIEST UNIFORM. Naur. They talk a little. Sees the judas stained glass. Chan invites her to eat at his house also invites her to like church get together in 2 days

Yn eats dinner at his house, finds out he BOUGHT IT OFF HIS PARENTS WHEN THEY WANTED TO MOVE. CRAZY. A lot of tension and maybe a small argument bc of their differences and how yn kinda judges him for staying the same in the same place and how chan kinda judges her for being a whore n shit 

Yn still comes to the get together much to chans surprise! She keeps trying to apologize but ppl KEEP getting in the way! So chan is like just wait here until after the thing and shes like ok lmao. 

Chan and yn sex scene but first they gotta like. Talk out their differences. “I always felt a bit like judas” 

“I can’t tell if its you or god I turned my back to” you laugh

He watches you with an unreadable expression. “Maybe both,” he whispers. 

GIRL CODE:

at a party, yn and the girlies and dare i say mingyu find woozis book hes always writing in. after much debate, they decide to open it, and what in gods name. its the girl code. the girlies r outraged. thats for girls only. they dont confront woozi, as he has left (he forgot the book lmao).

yn and the girlies confront woozi after class in a secluded classroom. they interrogate. woozi, usually cold and cynical, cracks under the pressure of vicious angry girls and admits. hes writing it down so he knows how to approach his crush. yn is sad. 

yn thinking over her relationship with woozi. yeri (roommate) is annoyed bc she can hear her thinking (outrageous). flashback to the party where woozi #fucked her and shes wondering if it was really that long ago (it was). 

the girls have adopted woozi, and yn kinda thinks its torture bc now she is sad around him (and v insecure bc DOES NO ONE WANT HER?). but they coo and they love him bc hes such a sweet boy, and they’re giving him tips while theyre doing their makeup for a night out  and hes writing it down diligently. he asks her if shes ok. shes a little taken aback. yeah i am. 

another night of helping woozi and adopting him. mingyu wants 2 join but hes NOT one of the girls and hes all whiny and sad about it bc he does NOT want to go out with seungcheol and jeonghan again theyre mean. too bad. ur not woozi. this is for woozi and girls only. i imagine woozi pulls yn to the side and asks her directly like. i know ur not okay. i can tell. there’s something wrong. yn is like. i dont want to talk about it. woozi is like fine queen. 

mingyu (who is closest to yn) WANTS TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING IN WITH THE ADOPTED WOOZI THING. hes asking her over lunch and shes all angry ab it. she finally spills that hewas writing down notes for his crush and now shes sad bc  she kinda likes him and thought they had smth going on. mingyu is shook. he partially thinks the whole girl code book is rlly funny but he also feels bad. he buys her a froyo. 

at another party and mingyus mission is to get yn laid so shes no longer insecure and so she can get over woozi. introduces her to wonwoo and they talk at the party. while theyre talking yn notices woozi storming off from the party and putting two and two together, she figures things probably went south w his crush. she catches up to him outside the party and hes all angry and buff and doesnt want to talk to her. a heated discussion w jealousy and woozi finally confesses by being like. ok wait and he goes into a random garden and picks out a couple of flowers and start reciting the confession script on his phone. yn is like. noar way. shes shook and doesnt say anything and so woozi starts being all apologetic like. i know its not roses and i know its not exactly the setting you guys told me- yn kisses him tihi. they kiss then have the sex. its great. jealous sex. yum.

I ❤️ DILFS / GOOD GIRL:

Bff Giselle convinces yn to go to seokmins party invite (and bring her) and also idk maybe seokmin and vernon and her as a kid flashbacks? - establishes yns character, and also seokmins kindaaa

At the party and jeonghan flirts w her haaaarddd and seokmin is like lmao stay away from her and then brings her to his room where she’s safe and they talk ab what they’ll do in the fall break and they realize they’ll both be at dorm during holiday and then they’re like we should hang out fo sho

They hang out the first day and there’s like an ooopsie moment like hm idk what yet, maybe like seokmin remembers from childhood that’s she’s ticklish and he tickles her and they’re wrestling and he ends up on top of her (sexual tension tihi)

They hang out again and they drink? and yn ends up spilling that she’s bad at masturbating…. N he teaches her while they watch porn….. hot (smut frs) 

Next day again and yn is insisting on returning the favor but seokmin is v v sweet and in luv n is like noarrr but yn insists and then she gives him a blowjob  

Yn facetimes vernon and it makes her feel like a whore and tells him she doesn’t want to do it anymore over text (she’s afraid if she sees him shell abandon all modesty and jump his bones) and they don’t see each other that day - conflict 

Seokmin at her door. She only lets him in when he says sum shit like “I need to know I didn’t make you uncomfortable”. Then they confess their feelings and they have fr sex (also virgin mode, #firsttime, #dickomode) 

i hav 2 more completed timelines, but the fics arent done yet >:)))

#personal #dickomode #why am i like this

[possiblypeachy]

author Qs!

thank you @deviantramblings for the tag!! these are always fun :)

Author Name: pssshhh. i wish i was advanced enough in my writing career to have an ‘author name’. the only place i really write is here or on ao3 so i suppose ‘possiblypeachy’ is my author name? but you can probably find some pieces of mine scattered about the web under different names.

Fandoms You Write For: a lot!! but it usually depends on what i have inspiration for at the time. at the mo, i’m most likely to write for rdr (1 & 2), assassin’s creed, dragon age (as always, despite having never published anything for it here?), any any other games i reblog really. i would write for marvel but it requires a certain mood for me, although i do love it. i dunno?? do i even know what fandoms i’m in?? gonna hit the ‘no’ button on that.

Where You Post: tumblr and ao3 mostly 

Most Popular One-Shot: ooh i had to dig for this one. fingertips (i think?) is my most popular one-shot and the first bit of writing i published on here actually!

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: i only have one multi-chapter story going on at the moment lmao! i wouldn’t count it as popular but i enjoy it so everyone can suck it :))

Favorite Story You Wrote: i ? don’t ? know ? im really indifferent on most of the stuff on my blog now bc its mostly d:bh. i suppose i do quite like this. it’s discontinued but its a fun little choose-your-own story thing i did a while back.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: i was definitely anxious to post the first instalment of tea & schemes bc it was for a new obsession and original character stuff is sometimes not received all too pleasantly?? The little bits of feedback i’ve gotten so far has been lovely though :)

How Do You Choose Your Titles: i sit and stare for a long while until i type something in. then i go “hmm.... actually no.” i change it again a few more times until i finally have no will left and just leave the title as the last thing i thought of.

Do You Outline: i had never really planned anything before tea & schemes (and oh babie,,, you should see the plan for that).

Complete: the only complete things on my blog are my one-shots //:

In-Progress: the only thing i’m writing at the moment is tea & schemes (i feel like i should stop talking about it) bc i have mad amounts of inspiration for it at the moment. i’m usually pretty good at staying on top of wips tbf but i just don’t have any presently

Coming Soon: the next chapter of… tea & schemes. who would’ve thought? i’m gonna make myself go insane with how much i’ve mentioned it im so sorry :(

Do You Accept Prompts: sí, of course!! if i ever reblog a prompt list and you’d like me to write one, do just send me a message or smth. sometimes i don’t get around to it or my muse has just vanished but i do love the fact that y’all saw that and wanted me to write it to begin with.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: please dont make me say it again. i don’t want you all to hate me and the story. please… im begging-- 

tagging: literally anyone! I speak to barely any writers on here and, if i do, i don’t know if i’m close enough with you to tag you in this wee game :,)) but!! if you do want to do this after seeing mine, i’ll be ecstatic to read through it!!

#writing tag #this is also an invitation for other writers to speak with me #bc i am always here for you to coo about a plot with someone

[yamalegacy]

genre: n/sfw, filthy filthy smut with a semblance of plot (this is me pretending it’s not just pure smut so i added some context tbh)

pairing(s): kayama nemuri (r-rated hero: midnight) x reader

cw: sub!reader, (technically gn) afab!reader, semi-public sex, desk sex (midnight bends you over her desk bc i said so), mommy!midnight, finger sucking, reader is struggling with anxiety if you “squint”, written with a 8/9-year age gap in mind (i’m shameless) but it’s not explicit

word count: a lot tbh 3.2k+

⚠️ MDNI not so casual reminder for minors to not interact with this post ⚠️

U.A. High School felt like an uncharted territory, some sort of a forbidden land that you shouldn't step into, and yet, here you are, standing just a few feet away from the enormous, heavy doors. The infamous U.A. Barrier that keeps those who don't belong in the school away — and to prove it, there is a line of journalists waiting outside. You aren't one of them, though, you aren't like them. Your Special Entry Permission ID is clutched tightly in your hand as you try to gather the courage to get through the small crowd of journalists.

Finally, you step forward, your breath catching in your throat as you approach the Barrier. You feel like even with your special permission, it won't open, leaving stranded out there. You've had the ID (courtesy of your girlfriend) for nearly three weeks now and never once dared to use it.

As the Barrier unfolds in front of your eyes, you can hear gasps of surprise behind you, and whispers of rumors making their way to your ears of full of spite. Jealousy. It's just jealousy, you tell yourself. You aren't doing anything wrong. Those people don't even know who you are, so it's nothing personal, really. But still, you feel your heart sink in your chest and your face burn at the sudden excessive amount of attention on you. Relief washes over you when the Barrier closes again behind you, shielding you from prying eyes and uncomfortable gossiping.

You take your phone out of the back pocket of your pants. 15:07. Nemuri's last class of the day is almost over. You breathe deeply as you struggle to remember what she told you about the layout of the school — she should be in the main building, with class 3-A (you don't remember her whole schedule, of course, but there's details that you just can't seem to be able to forget).

"You probably shouldn't be around here unaccompanied."

The voice startles you, and when you turn around to look at who addressed you, you are faced with a wall. A tall wall of muscles in a red costume. You look up and find an all too intense pair of red eyes staring at you.

Vlad King. Blood Hero: Vlad King is standing in front of you, staring at you, making you very small and definitely even more out of place than you already felt. Too intense. But when his eyes land of your Permission ID, he seems to relax — the man is still too intense though.

"I need to find 3-A?" your voice comes out a little too squeaky for your liking.

He frowns for a moment, visibly thinking your words over. "Midnight's with them?"

Though he speaks out loud, it seems to be more to himself than to you. Still, you nod shyly, and it's like something lights up in his head, understanding replacing his frown.

"You're the partner!"

You don't need a mirror to know that your face is turning a bright shade of red that could rival Vlad King's costume, and all you can do is nod again. Nemuri has talked about you to her colleagues? God, you hope she hasn't said anything embarrassing.

"Follow me then!"

Before you can say anything, Vlad King is making his way towards a staircase. You need to nearly run to catch up with him. "I had lunch with her today. Didn't say anything about you coming to U.A. though."

"It's a surprise?" you offer hesitantly. “I managed to get out of work early for once, so I thought..." you trail off, realizing that you are already talking more than you should, more than you usually would with a stranger. Your face is definitely not doing to stop blushing any time soon, and the erratic beating of your heart isn't about to calm down any sooner.

Just as can finally see the classroom, the bell rings and students swarm the corridor — Vlad King has a hand on your shoulder and keeps you away from students all too excited to get back to their dorms. Nemuri's students stare at the two of you in passing; a blond boy and a girl with periwinkle hair even more curiously so than the others, but Vlad King's presence by your side probably stops them from asking questions.

"Hey, Midnight, there's someone here to see you!" the Pro Hero booms as soon as the corridor is nearly empty.

You can't help but noticed the way Nemuri's shoulders tense at the loud exclamation, a tension that almost disappears when her eyes find you. But there's a frown creasing her brow as soon as her gaze lands on Vlad King's large hand, still resting comfortably on your shoulder.

"You should have said something about your little partner being this cute," he continues, patting your shoulder with just a bit too much force, and the gesture makes Nemuri's eyes narrow. "I'll let you two be then!"

He doesn't wait a second, doesn't acknowledge Nemuri opening her mouth to say something, before he steps away, immediately striking a conversation with one of the few students still present in the corridor.

When you look back at your girlfriend, she is simply staring at you, and you can't find the courage to take a step inside the classroom, instead standing awkwardly in the doorway. Shit. What are you? A vampire waiting for an invitation to come in someone's home or something?

"Sorry I came unannounced. I probably made things awkward for you," you mumble, staring down at your feet as you can't find it in you to look at her in the eyes.

"Don't apologize, sweetheart. I'm always happy to see your pretty face." The words make you look up, and Nemuri is staring at you, soft smile tugging at your lips as she crooks a finger to beckon you — and oh so obediently, you step inside the classroom.

She stands up from her chair and approaches, a soft hand immediately placed on your cheek, gentle and warm, though her face remains impossible to read. "Did Kan-san treat you well?"

You nod. "He was really nice," you say, your voice still betraying your nerves. Nemuri's thumb strokes your cheek once, twice, before she lowers her hand your shoulder, where Vlad King's was moments ago. It would be soothing if her perfectly manicured red nails weren't digging into your skin ever so slightly. "But he's still scary," you add hurriedly. Nemuri loosens her grip, but her hand doesn't move away.

Maybe Vlad King isn't quite as scary as a jealous Midnight. (And he isn't nearly as hot either.)

She leans in and presses a soft kiss to your cheek, it's brief and she pulls away almost immediately to retreat and settle back down in her chair. As she watches you, you freeze, unable to even take one step forward. There's that look in Nemuri's eyes, the one that make a shiver run up your spine and makes you want to press your thighs together.

"Baby, close the door for me and come here."

Always seeking to please your girlfriend, you obey without saying a word, pushing the heavy door until it’s closed. You turn back to look at Nemuri again and she is waiting, hands settled on her lap as she stares at you, unblinking. Hesitantly, shaking on your legs, you approach her, knowing that you are but a small prey rushing into the claws of your predator; the smirk that tugs at the corner of her mouth only confirms it.

As soon as you’re close enough, Nemuri grabs you by the hips and pulls you closer, guiding you onto her lap, forcing you to straddle her thighs. 

“You came all the way here from work just to see me?”

You nod at her question, and she nearly coos at you in response. “You’re so sweet, baby,” she whispers against your lips before giving your mouth a faint peck. “Always so nice and good for me, aren’t you?”

You nod again. One of her hands moves away from your hips and you know to brace yourself, but you still let out a yelp when her palm comes into contact with your ass — it’s playful, you know she hasn’t put much of her strength in it, but Nemuri is a lot stronger than most give her credit for.

“Y-Yes! I am!” You stutter your way through the three simple words. Nemuri is obviously in one of those moods where she expects you to be verbal when she talks to you, that’s what earned you the spank, there’s not a doubt in your mind about it. It’s a dangerous mood for your girlfriend to be in at her work place; there’d be nothing reasonable about whatever she has in mind.

You try to stand up, but Nemuri’s grip on you keeps you firmly where she wants you.

“Nemuri,” you whine, “we shouldn’t...”

“We shouldn’t what, baby?” she asks, smirking up at you before tilting her head to kiss your neck.

“Not here...”

You feel her teeth scrape against the sensitive skin of your neck (you know she is leaving a bruise, but you can’t stop her, don’t even want to stop her) and the moan that escapes your throat is embarrassing.

“What can’t we do?” she insists.

"I know you, Nemuri," you start, placing your hands on her shoulders to keep yourself balanced and stable as her lips found your pulse point. Your breathing is already getting ragged, and you know, just as you know Nemuri wants to fuck you, that you are dripping wet. "This is your work place," you whisper, "we can't have sex here."

She chuckles at your words, and all you want is to bury your face in her neck, in her hair, to hide your reddening cheeks. She pulls away, kisses your cheek in the most delicate of manners, and looks at you, seeming all too serious all of a sudden — which means that she's definitely up to something.

“I don’t know about having sex, but I could definitely fuck you. Right here, right now.”

“Nemuri,” your voice doesn’t sound anywhere near the tone of warning you aimed for. It’s embarrassing. But at least you could have sounded whinier, so there’s still a sliver of hope for your dignity to make it through the day.

She offers you a smile when you finally look back at her face; it’s a soft and genuinely kind smile, no trace of teasing.

“If you don’t want me to touch you, I’ll stop and let you go, I promise. But you have to tell me, baby.”

You already knew that Nemuri wouldn’t push you to do anything that you don’t want to do; she has always been caring and respectful of you, but still, it is reassuring to hear the words in this moment. But you don’t want her to stop.

“Do you want me to stop touching you, sweetheart?”

You shake your head. “N-No!” you hurry to say before Nemuri has a reason to give you another spank.

"What do you want, then?" Her sultry tone sends a shiver up your spine

You don't like that question; you've never liked it in any sort of context. There are too many possibilities, too many ways to answer and it's too much. The thought that you may say the wrong thing plagues your mind every time. Nemuri seems to notice your growing distress, and caresses your cheek, thumb brushing over your skin, once, twice. She leans her forehead against yours.

The silence that settles between the two of you is comfortable, barely interrupted by your heavy breathing. It’s hard to catch your breath when you are sitting on the lap of the most beautiful woman you’ve ever met — when all of her attention is on you, just you, nothing else.

“Can I take off your pants and touch you, baby?” Nemuri asks, finally breaking the silence.

“Please.”

Nemuri smiles and guides you off her lap, but her hands remain on your hips as she does so, keeping you up on your feet as your legs tremble. She unbuttons your pants and meets your eyes with her own, probably trying to look for any sign that you might want to put a stop to everything, but when all she can see is your smile and flushed face, she pulls down your zipper. You swallow thickly as you watch her hook her thumbs into the waistline of your pants to tug them down. She kneels down in front of you to push your pants past your knees and helps you step out of one of the legs — only one though.

Her eyes trail up your body, lingering on your underwear, and you hide your face in your hands, refusing to look at the satisfied smirk on her lips. You’re so wet already that you’ve soaked through your underwear, you just know it, and there’s no way in hell Nemuri hasn’t noticed it.

She kisses your thighs and quickly moves to press her mouth to your core. Through the dampened fabric of your underwear, you feel her tongue peeking out past her lips to tease your clit. The moan that her tongue elicits is indecent and embarrassingly loud, it makes Nemuri chuckle against you, the vibrations making your body shake violently.

“Please don’t tease,” you mutter. She looks up at you and you bite down on your lip for a second, “please, mommy. No teasing.”

“Since my baby asked so nicely,” she starts as her fingers grab your underwear to pull it down, “mommy will be nice today,” she whispers against your cunt before standing back up.

She circles around you silently, stopping behind you. When you turn your head to glance above your shoulder to see what Nemuri is up to, you feel strong fingers on your neck, her palm warm against the back of it. She presses against your neck until you obediently bend down over her desk; she doesn’t bother moving her papers away, simply forcing your face down against it.

“Hands on the desk. And don’t you dare move or I’ll make sure you can’t sit properly for days.”

You don't need to be told twice; your hands find the edge of the desk, gripping at it like a lifeline, a desperate attempt to keep yourself from shaking. You know she is staring at you, at your ass, at your dripping cunt, like you're the most beautiful thing she's ever looked at. It's what she always does. And yet, its effect on you never changes.

She kicks at one of your feet, not hard, just a way for her to signal that she wants you to spread your legs further for her, which you do. A gentle finger runs up the inner side of your thigh, stopping just before it can reach your most sensitive spot.

"I haven't even started to touch you and you're already dripping," she says as she leans down, her ample chest flush against your back and hips against your ass. "Such a desperate little slut for me."

Nemuri kisses your neck before standing back up, and you whine as her comforting warmth leaves your body. All you want is to feel her, but she keeps denying you.

"Don't worry, baby. You've been good for mommy, so I'll treat you well and make you come."

"Pl—Please! Mommy, I need you!"

She hums, delighted by the pathetic desperation in your voice. You hear her move behind you, and all of a sudden, she's spreading your lower lips and her tongue teases your core.

"Fuck," you groan, knees bucking at the sudden touch and pleasure rushing through your whole body.

She laps at your cunt, humming again in delight, satisfied by your taste. Her thumb finds your clit, pressing her thumb harshly against it before she starts to circle it, the movements quicken to reach the punishing pace that you've grown accustomed to throughout your relationship with Nemuri.

Tension builds in the pit of your stomach, your grip on the Nemuri's desk the only thing that keeps you stable as she fucks you with her tongue. You're getting close to release at an alarming, embarrassing speed, and for a moment, you think you can feel your girlfriend smile against your pussy.

"I'm so close," you moan, "please—"

And just like that, everything stops. You can't feel Nemuri's tongue, or hands, or breath on your skin, and you whine in the most pitiful of manners. Tears are welling up in your eyes. You need her to make you come. Before you can whine once more and complain about wanting an orgasm, two of her fingers are pushing against your hole.

You're so wet and turned on that her fingers meet no resistance as she pushes then into your sopping cunt. She doesn't move them though, simply kisses both your ass cheeks.

"Mommy..." you whimper weakly.

"Yes, baby? Is there something you want?"

"Please—"

You're sobbing and too desperate to care about how wrecked and miserable you must seem right now.

"Please what?"

"Mommy," you whimper, voice trembling just as much as your limbs. "I need you to fuck me! Please!"

"You're so good for me today, baby," she coos as she gives your ass a harsh squeeze, her fingers still unmoving deep inside your core. "Keep being good for me and try not to be too loud. We wouldn't want anyone to get curious and find us like that, would we?"

And finally, Nemuri starts fucking you with her fingers, pumping them in and out your cunt at a merciless pace. Your muscles clench around her fingers as she fucks you, her free hand sneaking between your thighs to pinch your clit between two fingers. You have to bite on your arm to keep yourself from screaming at the sudden sensation.

"Mommy— I'm gonna—"

"It's okay, baby, you can come for me."

And you do. You come on her fingers, muffling your screams into your arm. She helps you ride out your orgasm, fingers moving gently into you until your breathing becomes even and she pulls them out. She wraps an arm around your waist and guides you to her chair, sitting you there, setting one knee next to your thigh. She takes your chin between her thumb and index finger and tilts your head; you can feel a sticky wetness on your skin and you know it's your juices coating her fingers.

She kisses you and, out habit, you part your lips to grant her tongue access. You can taste yourself in her mouth, it's embarrassing but you can't pull away.

"Open up, baby," she demands, letting go out your chin to press her drenched fingers against your lips.

You gladly take them into your mouth, lips wrapping around her fingers to suck on them, tongue twirling around them to clean them up of your slick arousal.

Nemuri kisses your forehead, "you're so cute, baby, always so good and obedient for mommy," she whispers, smiling softly at you. "I really should consider keeping a strapon in my things in case you come see me at school again."

"You can always fuck me with a strapon when we get home," you mumble, unable to meet her eyes as your face flushes all over again.

"Oh, I intend to, my sweet baby."

#bnha x reader #bnha x you #bnha smut #mha x reader #mha smut #midnight x reader #this is a lot longer than it was meant to be #oopsy (my bad) #⚠️ mdni ⚠️ #🔞 kayama nemuri ( midnight ) #i sat in front of my laptop for a while doing nothing #thinking about the fact i'm closer in age to nemuri than to the students #being old hurts my friends #ANYWAYS #this really got way too long #but i love nemuri too much not to give her what she deserves #and what she deserves is a lot of words to express my love for her

[djemsostylist]

I watched Captain Marvel...and I think I hated it.  A Review

So like, I really hated Captain Marvel.  Well, hate’s a strong word I guess.  But given what it could have been, and what we were given instead, well.  It’s better than Gagnarok, which is faint praise, I suppose given how much I despised the last Thor outing.  

This movie had so much potential.  So. Much. Potential.  Because they actually had the bones of a good movie.  The casting, as per usual for Marvel, was spot on.  They created some really interesting characters who weren’t actually cliches like they very easily could have been.  And the idea of an origin movie that merely exists for its own sake, especially this late in the MCU lineup, is an interesting one. 

Thing is though, this one...well, it sucked.  And I think it’s entirely because of the writing and directing.  It read like a YA version of a Marvel movie.  And it’s the first time in a while that I read reviews and thought “What am I missing?”  Most of the round-up that I saw prior to the movie claimed that Sam Jackson and Ben Mendelsohn were a delight, the humor and nineties references were subtle and delightful, and that the whole movie didn’t force things on you but rather allowed the moments to breathe.  Even here--the majority of the people I follow are gushing over the movie and the relationships and the subtle building of Carol’s backstory and I’m just like....?  Because I got none of that?

Fury, as a character in this movie, makes literally no sense.  He seems a whole lot more like Sam Jackson than Nick Fury, and if this movie was attempting to show us how a young and bouncy Nicholas J. Fury became the jaded leader of SHIELD, than they fucking failed.  Fury cooing over cats and completely trusting aliens makes no sense, and rather than have him grow over the course of the movie into the Nick Fury we see today, he does...none of that?  He was frankly kind of obnoxious, and the amount of moments he dropped a not so quippy one liner the writers desperately wanted us to laugh at made me actively irritated by the end. 

Maria was a fascinating character, or she could have been?  She and Carol are wingmen test pilots, working under a female scientist developing cutting edge technology.  She’s a single mother in the military with a precocious young daughter and together with her best friend they’ve made themselves a family.  Her best friend is then killed in a horrible accident gone wrong, and she...actually I don’t know.  I’m assuming she left the Air Force perhaps because, like Sam Wilson, she had a hard time finding a reason to stay in.  At least that would be what I assume.  And maybe she always thought Carol survived and the Air Force covered up something they shouldn’t have been doing and maybe she took a quiet retirement in return for not asking questions, and maybe she always wondered what happened the day that Carol died.  I don’t know, really, since they don’t ever really allow her to do much of anything except tell Carol who she is 5 times and then suddenly decide to go into space because her daughter told her to.  We were robbed of Maria, is what I’m saying, and I think they could have given us so much more.  (Give me a story where Maria takes the retirement and the payout and moves to Louisiana but never really stops looking for answers because Carol wouldn’t just have died like that and one day she digs too deep and she runs into an Agent named Nick Fury who was looking into something too and together they discover what the Air Force tried to cover up all those years ago.  Frankly, I feel like this should have been the plotline that Earth had sans Carol, but I digress).  

Carol’s team was criminally underused.  Gemma Chan, Jude Law, Djimon Hounsou (and those other dudes)--they had virtually no part.  And it could have been fascinating.  Carol was with them for 6 years.  6 years.  That’s a ridiculously long time actually.  And she has a life there.  At least, we can assume?  She appears to have an apartment (or quarters), access to public transit, etc.  She is close to Jude Law (I refuse to call him Yon Rogg bc that is a fucking stupid name), and she is also, again ostensibly, close to his team (hereafter called Kree Team 6).  The scene with them boarding the plane for their first mission together (which totally did not feel like that at all) was interesting, and a lovely glimpse in to team and the dynamics.   I liked seeing how they fought together, their ethical views (they go out of their way not to hurt the locals/refugees, which we’ll get to later).  And I loved the look into Kree society--it felt more real and grounded than any of the alien societies (beside Asgard) that we’ve seen before.  But we get nothing from them.  Like, Gemma Chan has 3? lines?  Hounsou has maybe 2?  And Jude Law 100% feels like he was supposed to Mar Vel (and likely her lover?) before someone, sometime after way too much of the script had been written, decided not to go that direction.  Which leads me to the next question, of why not?  Because Carol doesn’t need a love interest? I mean, sure I guess, but Thor, Steve, Bruce, and Tony have all had a love interest, and I don’t think it detracted from their stories?  Like, Tony still has his bond with Rhodey, Steve obviously has his with Bucky, Thor is still codependent on Loki.  Would Carol being in a relationship with Jude Law prevent her from having an equally or more important relationship with Maria?  Like, I would have loved for about half the movie to take place with Carol still with the Kree, if only so that we could have felt something of Carol’s relationship and connection with them, which would make the revelations that much more crushing when she does find out.  Like, how much worse is it if Carol has an actual life with them (which has likely only been a little bit shorter than the amount of time she’s been in the Air Force) only to find out it’s all based off a lie?  Only, it wasn’t totally a lie because she had friends and a home and a job and a lover and a life which she wouldn’t have had if they hadn’t taken her, and yet.

I loved Carol.  Or at least, I think I did?  Reviews kept whining that Carol was brainwashed half the movie, which sure, but she was no Bucky Barnes.  And I loved that.  I loved that she has awful nightmares that wake her up and make her seek out her lovermentor to spar, but she is still herself.  Like, she isn’t deadened and unemotional and tormented.  She’s happy and scrappy and sarcastic and goofy and bouncy and a little bit of a hothead and she is still herself.  I loved the scene when she looks at the guy over the newspaper, the sly little half smile she gets when she says “Heroes.  Noble warrior heroes” like she knows she’s being a little bitch and she loves it.  I love that when she knocks on Jude Law’s door at 2:00 in the morning he can’t even pretend to be irritated with her.  I love that she banters with her team and loves her powers and isn’t afraid of dying.  I loved who Brie Larson made her in the spare few moments she had between the awful directing and the horrible lines and the things that didn’t really make sense.  I can’t wait to see her in Endgame, and much like I did with Hawkeye in Civil War, go “Oh, there’s Carol!” because she had been hiding behind a shitty plot and horrible dialog and suffocating directing for far too long.  (Also, I loved her costume and her design and the mohawk is beautiful, and her powers aren’t OP at all.)

Like, imagine if the movie is divided into Carol with the Kree slowly realizing shit ain’t what it seems and the other plotline is Fury and Maria trying to find out wtf is going on, and then they meet up in the climax to take down the bad guys.  We get to know Carol, Maria, and their relationship to each other and everyone else.  Imagine if we didn’t have to guess at literally everything.  And imagine if, in the end, Carol leaves, not because she has to guide the fucking Skrulls to a new home, but because she’s functionally immortal now, and what kind of a life does she have with Maria and Earth any more?  (Like, the movie doesn’t address this at all, but I mean, this is a Thing.  Whether it’s because she’s Kree (wtf did the blood transfusion do?) or because of her powers, she is immortal now, yes?  Or as immortal as Thor or Steve, theoretically.) 

The thing is, the Russo’s and Markus and McFeely are really, really good at taking little things and tiny moments and making us know and understand backstory, and showing us how relationships grow and develop in the things we can’t see or don’t have time to see.  These writers/directors...are not.  They suck, frankly.  Who is Mar Vel, what is her relationship with Carol and Maria, what was Carol’s life like in Kree land, why is Maria retired and living in the Bayou, why is Fury on uppers, how did Carol become a Kree, why did they give her the disk control thingy and why doesn’t she take it off, what did they tell her about her past, and most importantly, WTF with the Skrulls and Kree.  How did you manage to tell us how to feel to for an entire movie while also telling us nothing at all.  (Also, The Russo’s and M&M are good with continuity while still writing new things, while these people, are, again, not.  Like, don’t even get me started on the Tesseract.)

And then, okay, when the Kree Team attacks that first planet to save their operative, they are all super specific about making sure the locals don’t get hurt, they protest the innocent, etc.  Gemma Chan immediately pulls up her rifle when they say they are just civilians, Jude Law goes out of his way to put up a shield to protect his dudes and NOT hurt the locals, and he seems sorta grossed out by Ronan and his zealots.  So...wtf with the “all Kree all evil murdered who kill babies and the Skrulls just want to be with their families.”  Like, it’s so fucking tired.  A twist for twist sake, which if you didn’t see that coming...well, that’s on you.  I’d be much more here for “everyone sucks a little bc people can suck sometimes” rather than the shlocky bullshit family reunion I was forced to endure.  The Skrulls were fucking insufferable frankly, and the entire reveal with Talos and the Skrulls from then on was like an embarrassing episode of Stargate.  

And look, I’m not opposed to humor in Marvel movies. I’m not, I swear!  I legit loved both Antman’s, Peter always fills my heart with smiles, and Sam Wilson refusing to move his seat up made me legit cackle.  I don’t like when I feel like the writers spend an entire movie nudging me in the ribs with increasing brutality while screaming “Isn’t it FUNNY THO???”  Because no, dear writers, no it’s not.  And yes, yes I do get the jokes, but good god could we have a minute?  I mean, by the end, the jokes were literally being telegraphed a few 30 seconds before they dropped.  (The Kree scanning people--Cat, High danger level.  I bet Fury’s going to be...oh yeah, hahaha he is a nonexistent threat isn’t that hilaARIOUS?  No, it’s fucking stupid.)  

It was, frankly, awful.  I hated it, so much so that by the end I couldn’t even muster up enough of a Give a Fuck to care that her callsign was Avenger (and I fucking LOVE callsigns) or care that the stinger had all of my children.  I really didn’t.  This movie was so fucking disappointing because it didn’t have to be bad.  It really didn’t.  If they had hired competent writers and directors (I should have known when they hired the Tomb Raider lady this was going to be awful), they could have made it work.  They really, really could have.  And they didn’t and everyone loves it and I’m happy because shitty butthurt fanboys are being legit gross about this and I want them to be crushed by money, but.  I want the next movie to have better writing and better directing because it’s what we deserve.  I don’t want to have to keep settling, because it’s good enough.  

#Captain Marvel #carol danvers #marvel #my opinions #if anyone cares #this is a lot of words but like #this movie was so fucking disappointing and everyone on here is screaming about how amazing it was and im just like #am i overly critical of everything #did i miss something? #like wtf