#basil with green eyes feels. so weird. but I'll get used to it

[darchildre]

Rathbone Holmes movies, ranked

First, the series as a whole: it's really fun! Basil Rathbone will never be my Sherlock Holmes (that's Clive Merrison, until one I like better comes along) but I can see why he is the definitive Holmes for a lot of people. He definitely has the right look - half the time he looks like he walked right out of a Paget illustration. (He's also occasionally distractingly pretty? Like, I am ace as hell and sometimes had to rewind the movie because I was paying too much attention to how nice his eyes were.)

The films are obvious B movies and made quickly (if you look at the dates below, you'll see that there were sometimes three of these released in a single year), but the occasional jankiness and short runtimes are part of their charm. I love the recurring stable of bit part actors who appear over and over again - it's fun to spot them in each successive film. I also love the absolute refusal to explain a) the shift in the Victorian era to the 1940s when the series moved to Universal and b) how Moriarty can die at the end of three separate films. Sherlock Holmes is immortal; Moriarty is like Schrödinger's cat - either dead or alive, depending on the demands of the plot. It's delightful.

I have criticisms - try as I might, I can't get over my dislike of Nigel Bruce's Watson and his influence on the perception of Watson to this day. Lestrade is likewise occasionally unbearable. There's the normal period-typical racism to deal with in certain of the films as well. Sometimes the plots don't quite hang together and there's only one that can be called anything like a faithful adaptation of the story it claims to be based on.

But, even with that, they're fun movies and well worth checking out. I enjoyed watching them and there are a few that I'll put into my "good background movies for craft time" rotation. If you want to watch any of them, they're all on youtube except for The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, which you can find on the Internet Archive. Even the bad ones will only take up about 70 minutes of your time.

This post is so long, oh my god, and only going to get longer. The actual ranking will go under a cut. Sorry, folks on mobile.

And now, the ranking!

1)  The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1939) - Super fun.  It claims to be based on the play by William Gillette but, having seen what this series generally uses the words “based on” to mean, I have my doubts about that.  In any case, I think this one is stronger for not trying to wedge in details from the original stories.  George Zucco’s Moriarty is fun and definitely has Weird Bitter Exes energy with Holmes, which I find very enjoyable.  Holmes and Watson get space for some character work and Holmes gets to be a big weirdo on occasion - something I always appreciate.  Moriarty’s schemes are very fun (even if the theft of the Crown Jewels doesn’t feel like a Moriarty-style crime*) and the climactic action scene is very exciting.  Definitely my favorite of the series.

*Yes, okay, I spent the whole “stealing the Crown jewels” scene thinking “This is a Raffles crime.  Except that he would keep them on his mantel for a week and then mail them back to the Queen in a biscuit box, the weirdo.”

2)  The Woman in Green (1945) - This one is so hard to rank!  It has a really good plot, Henry Daniell is my favorite of the three Moriartys in the series, the blackmail/murder device is really interesting, it has some fun Holmes and Watson interactions and some actual character work, and the climax is really tense and suspenseful.  But I find the whole hypnosis thing deeply deeply unpleasant.  I’m honestly mad about the fact that I like so much about this film and that it has a central plot device that renders it nearly unwatchable for me.  I’m therefore putting it in the ranking where it would be if I didn’t have that very idiosyncratic problem with it.  If you don’t have a hypnosis/mind control squick, this one’s very good.

3)  The Hound of the Baskervilles (1939) - A fairly straight and faithful adaptation of HOUN, with a few changes due to the Hayes Code.  It’s solid and very enjoyable, and it looks great, with some gorgeous use of fog.  Rathbone and Bruce are both good in this one (Watson is a bit jammy, but not terribly so) and the side players are also excellent.  (John Carradine!  Lionel Atwill!)  Points off for the titular Hound just being a normal-ass dog and not made to look spooky or supernatural at all.  I’m probably rating this a little lower than other people might, simply because I’m not super into HOUN.

4)  Terror by Night (1946) - A train movie!  I love a train movie.  And it’s a train movie plus a movie with Colonel Moran.  (A Colonel Moran who isn’t a big game hunter, but is a notable jewel thief, a hobbyist mathematician, and “played for the Gentlemen at Lords”. Sure, okay, why not?)  All of the red herring train passengers are very fun (as is Holmes siccing Watson on them as a distraction).  Not the best of the series, but quite good.

5)  Sherlock Holmes and the Voice of Terror (1942) - My favorite of the “Holmes vs Nazis” films.  This movie feels janky in places - there are some scenes that are such clear British propaganda that they’re a little hard to watch with a straight face - but there’s a very real feeling of tension and fear running through the film that makes up for it.  (Being partially based on actual events probably helps there.)  It’s also filmed in a way that feels like a much older film, which gives it a very unique look compared to the rest of the series.  Even when it’s not actually good it is always interesting. (This was the first movie made after the series moved to Universal, so some of the odd feel may also be due to that.)

6)  Dressed to Kill (1946) - There are two vague adaptation of SIXN in the series and this is the good one. It also steals a fun bit from SCAN.  It feels a little padded (we spend entirely too long watching an auctioneer run an auction, twice, and also there’s a random musical number) but the villains are fun, the plot is generally exciting, it's got a cool maguffin, there’s an interesting musical puzzle, and there's a scene where Watson tries to entertain a child by making duck noises and the child is not having it.  This is the last film in the series and it feels like a good ending.

7)  Sherlock Holmes Faces Death (1943) - Most of the films in this series that claim to be based on a particular Holmes story are basically lying, but this one does make at least an attempt at MUSG, swapping the goofy geometry puzzle for a goofy chess puzzle.  I like this one mostly for the period detail - I love that Watson gets to have an actual job at an army hospital, and I love the trio of shellshocked convalescents who wander through the film.  (Ostensibly, they are presented as red herrings, but they mostly provide some gentle humor that is more to my taste than Watson or Lestrade’s usual shtick.)  The final confrontation between Holmes and the killer in the crypt is also quite good.

8)  Pursuit to Algiers (1945) - A boat movie!  Fun, though not as good as a train movie.  Homes and Watson are very married in this one, and all the subterfuge with the Ruritanian nobleman (I don’t remember what fake country he’s actually supposed to be from) is very good.  Watson sings - this scene is not as painful as I feared it would be.  I would have liked a little more time spent on the trio of killers, whom I found very intriguing, but I suppose these movies are only 70 minutes long, after all.

9)  Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon (1943) - Oof.  I mean, it has some good points, but the central scientist maguffin character is so dumb and boring.  Fortunately, the second half of the movie gives us Lionel Atwill’s Moriarty, who is a joy.  I mean, he’s not a particularly good Moriarty, but he’s an excellent example of a Lionel Atwill-style Fucked Up Weirdo and he gets to have excellent Weird Bitter Exes energy with Holmes - this is the height of the Holmes/Moriarty “we used to date and it ended so badly” thing that these movies are doing*.  Also introduces Lestrade to the series.  He is…not a good Lestrade.

*This one does have my favorite moment of the films slipping something past the Hayes Office.  Holmes has just described his frankly disturbing fantasy about Moriarty’s death by slow exsanguination and Lionel Atwill’s Moriarty purrs, “The needle to the end, eh Holmes?”

10)  The Scarlet Claw (1944) - What if HOUN again but in Canada this time?  (Why are we in Canada?  Look, don’t worry about it.)  This one is pretty fun - the mystery is good, and I really enjoyed the character who turned out to be the killer.  (He's played by perhaps my favorite of the recurring bit part actors.) However, it has perhaps too much jam Watson shtick - having Watson literally get stuck in a hole not once but twice is too much for me.

11)  Sherlock Holmes in Washington (1943) - Not bad.  All the subterfuge and trickery with the central maguffin is good, there is a very funny scene with Holmes pretending to be an obnoxious customer in an antique shop, and George Zucco returns as an excellent non-Moriarty villain.  However, the plot itself is pretty lackluster and the film is ultimately kinda forgettable.  Not bad, just not memorable - I enjoyed watching it but I did have to go look a synopsis to remind me which one this was.

12) The House of Fear (1945) - A fun And Then There Were None-style mystery, spoiled by way too much jam Watson.  Nigel Bruce’s Watson is tolerable when he is relatively reined in - he is not reined in at all in this one. Good lord.

13)  The Pearl of Death (1944) - On the plus side, this movie did steal its opening from “The Arrest of Arsène Lupin”, which did make me laugh, and also it does the “knocking over the bowl of oranges” bit from REIG, which is always a joy.  On the other hand, it is nominally an adaptation of SIXN that goes out of its way to make Lestrade look bad and stupid, and also contains an inexplicable and unnecessary monster-murderer.  Giles Conover is a fun villain; the Hoxton Creeper is not.  I did not particularly enjoy this one.

14)  The Spider Woman (1944) - This is my least favorite.  It shoves details from about 6 different Holmes stories into a big blender and tries to make the resulting mess all work together as a coherent story.  It doesn't.  There are some good moments - I am fond of the scene between Watson and Lestrade when they think that Holmes is dead, doing SPEC with a spider is a cool idea, and there’s a bit where I swear they’re just quoting dialogue from Hornung’s “Ides of March” - but ultimately it doesn’t hang together well.  (And also it misquotes the Norbury bit from YELL and makes it racist and I’m still very angry about it.) If you're going to skip any of the series, it should be this one.

#sherlock holmes #basil rathbone #and now to rewatch granada holmes! #rathbone holmes

[percivalias]

First step of rebooting MW is giving Basil a palette + fashion sense that finally actually fit his character?? why did this take me so long

#original character #monkeywrench #mw: basil eaton #its so messy but I really don't want to clean it up further #listen I liked the TOS role color coding but #A) mw hasn't been tos for a really long time #and B) basil is just not a cool color kinda dude #I dunno what I'm gonna do for antonionow that I've stolen his shade of yellow though... #basil with green eyes feels. so weird. but I'll get used to it #pls send me asks about my ocs if you're at all interested I love talking abt them HDFGJKDF #teuthidraw

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Fourteen)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Thirteen ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ Chapter Fifteen

We stopped in front of the new location of The Art of Taste, where a group of people were waiting to enter. The entire facade was lit with small bulbs wrapped around the bushes, which framed the outside.

My mom is the first out of the car, excited, barely expecting Luke and me. She takes the lead, going straight to security and showing us our invitations.

“She's very excited”. Hemmo comments from beside me, offering me his arm.

“You have no idea.” I open a smile.

We followed my mother as she led the way, looking for Mr. Marshall. I appreciate the decor of the place and fall in love with the small wooden bridge that leads into the restaurant, passing by a pond with koi.

"Debra! You came!” Mr. Marshall approaches as excited as my mother. “You’re stunning.” her cheeks blush.

“Oh, not that much. It's an old little dress I had in the back of the closet.” she lowers her head shyly.

"Didn't she say she bought the dress today?" Luke whispered confusedly to me, almost making me laugh. I watch the two lovebirds praising and flirting like two teenagers.

"Marnie! I'm happy for your presence too.” he hugs me. “You must be Luke! Debra talks about you a lot.” he opens a sympathetic smile.

Subtly, I widen my eyes at my mom, wanting to scold her, but she just shrugged, ignoring me. Luke smiles sympathetically and handles the situation perfectly.

Mr. Marshall takes us to a more private table and away from the window for more privacy. I sit next to Luke, having a full view of whoever enters the restaurant.

“I'm going to have the menu degustations served, and if you don't mind, I'm going to steal Debra for a while.” he smiles at my mother.

“Be my guest!” I open a tight smile, very happy for them.

"Is there something I should know?" Luke asks me after the two walk away arm in arm.

“They're in love, but they don't know what to do.” Summary, still watching the them.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me about it." Luke repeats the same thing I said yesterday. I let out a laugh, disbelieving his audacity.

“Sorry, there was no time.” I raise my eyebrows, like he does.

Yesterday was a special night with Luke. After Urban Light, we went to Santa Monica, to sit on the sand and watch the sea, illuminated by the lights from the pier. It was fun to have this time with him without anyone looking at us like fools for whatever move we made.

It was nice to meet him and know everything he likes and dislikes, as well as getting to know the band's history better. For moments like this, just the two of us, I could let him get closer, totally letting my guard down and creating a better relationship.

Of course because of this endless conversation we had and cause we got super late back home, today I woke up looking like a zombie and only managed to get out of bed by a miracle. But even tired, I would do everything exactly the same, just to be able to spend this time with him.

"Should we wait for the girls?" I question, seeing a board of small toast and various types of sauces and pates being served to us.

“I believe not!” he's the first to take the toast and dip it in a red sauce.

I follow him, quickly taking two and sinking into the same sauce. Tomato and basil. I let out an exclamation when I taste it. I start to eat more, after all, I didn't even have time to have lunch today and I didn't even want to, because I knew I would eat here.

I had invited everyone to come to the opening today, but only Luke, Leah, and Kyleen agreed right away. Calum, Ash and Noah had other commitments and Michael also tried to use this one, but Ashton soon revealed the lie, saying that he was actually going on a date, with that Sophie.

"You didn't have lunch today, did you?" I stop the toast in the air, mouth open, watching Luke look me curious.

“I didn’t have time.” I answer a little embarrassed.

“Well, if we run out of those toast, just ask for more.” he takes one more, sinking now into a green pate. I watch his face, trying to guess what that would be.

“Pesto?” I ask, looking at the pot. Luke denies it. I smell the content not identifying much.

"A bitter taste." he make a face. “No! It's a good bitter.” he adds quickly.

When I least notice, Hemmings and I are playing russian roulette with sauce and pates. We just don't know how to just eat quietly, we have to play.

"Bad?" I ask, watching him close his eyes and wrinkle his nose. Luke nodded, swallowing and eating another toast with the tuna pate, which was what we liked best.

"A taste of… I can't explain it. Eats!” he offers me the toast with the white pate and small green bits.

“No! Don't you know what it is and want to push it to me?” I drop the toast on my plate, wanting distance.

Interrupting our little discussion, Leah and Kyleen arrive.

“Sorry we’re late. There was an accident on the expressway. Have you started eating yet?” Leah glances across the table sulkily.

"M&Ms didn't have lunch." Luke hands it to me. I slap his arm.

“Great, there are two of us.” Kiki smiles, already eating some toast. "What is this one?" she points to the weird pate.

“We haven't eaten yet, but try it there.” Hemmings encourages, surprising me with his performance. I stare at him laughing.

Like Luke, Kiki grimaces, disapproving of the pate. I offer my glass of juice to her, which she drinks in one gulp.

“This is horrible. What is that?” she whispers disgustedly.

Luke steals the menu from the next table, looking for the pate. I squint at the ingredients: ricotta, gorgonzola and pickles. I understand why it's horrible.

It doesn't take long and more stuff arrives at our table. Once again, we started our russian roulette, trying everything out and grading, as if we were at MasterChef. We really don't have maturity for anything.

Looking at the restaurant entrance, I start nudging Luke, flustered, discreetly asking him and the girls to look too. Surprised and excited, we watched Michael approach our table, hand in hand with a girl shorter than him.

“Is it her?” I try to contain my excited voice.

“It's her!” Hemmo confirms.

“Okay! But who is she?” Kyleen asks, lost.

“They met at a game match and now Michael is in love.” I almost run over my words, trying to deliver the information before they arrived.

"I didn't tell you." Luke already takes his off the line.

“Hey!” Michael sighs standing next to the table.

“Hey!” aside from Luke, the girls and I were all smiles.

“This is Sophie! My friend.” Mike introduces. The girl with dark hair and two streaks white, like Narcissa in Harry Potter, smiles shyly.

“Sorry for the delay, we got lost.” her voice is low.

“Actually, I didn't want to come.” Michael doesn't even bother to lie. If it wasn't a public place, I'd throw a shoe on him.

Sophie excuses herself and heads to the bathroom as we pull another table for them. Michael sits across from Luke, leaving Sophie in mine and Leah beside her.

“Please, I'll pay you whatever you want, but don't embarrass me.” Mike begs. “I like her a lot.” he admits it quietly.

"Awn!" me and the girls hold hands, dying of love.

“I hate you.” he declares.

“To show that we are willing to help, do not eat the white pate. It’s not from this world. And not in the good way.” Leah warns him.

Sophie returns to the table, taking a seat across from me. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice how Michael's posture becomes tense. He's so into her. Without needing much, we start a conversation and Sophie slowly walks in, forming a group.

“This gaming field must be shit, right? I mean, for who is a woman, isn't it?” Kyleen asks.

“Yea! No man likes to lose to a woman. They never accept that I play better than they do. Cause of this, when Michael called me, I thought he was going to argue with me.” she gives a shy smile.

"Actually, I was going to ask for my shield back." he gives an ashamed laugh.

"And complain to me how you lost." she completes, making him laugh. The way they look at each other makes my heart melt.

The four of them get carried away on a subject as I approach Luke.

“They're really cute.” I whisper.

"I think we're both a lot cuter." he snaps, smiling. I open a smile, denying the way he's sassy.

“You were not like this.” I comment with a smile. I take my gaze to the hall, finding my mother walking with Mr. Marshall, still arm in arm. "I think they're cuter than us." Luke follows my gaze.

“All right! She's your mother, I'll give you my arm. Do you think they'll be together?”

“I hope!”

“Are you gossiping about Debra?” I am startled by Kyleen approaching me and joining in our conversation.

"What's the gossip with Debra?" Leah already turns her attention to us.

"Is there gossip about Debra?" Michael leans against the table, moving closer.

I look at the curious faces trying to identify how my mom became the subject of the table. If she knows this, she will kill me!

"Don't let her know that." I declare before I lean against the table and tell her about my mother and Mr. Marshall.

Friday

I feel terrible, not only for the cramps and indisposition, but mainly for having to cancel with Luke. I've waited so long for this date and now I'm here, lying on the couch, suffering for being born a woman.

“Here.” Leah hands me a pain killer and a hot water bottle. I lay my head on her lap, wanting to cry. “It's OK.” she repeats calmly as she cuddles me. She knows why. “You can go out next week, he won't change his mind until then.”

“I know he won’t, but…” I catch my throat, not wanting to accept that I would cry about this, but I can't control it, letting a few tears fall. Damn hormones. “I don't know if I can make it another week, I was so excited.” my voice crack it. “Stop laughing!” I scream when I feel her body move.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! But you look so funny like this. Sorry.” she hugs me, holding back her laughter.

Before I can complain, the doorbell rings and I'm grateful that Kiki has finally arrived with food and a lap where I can cry more. Leah runs to open the door and I feel my heartbeat stop for seconds when his voice reaches me. I lift my head, seeing him come in full of bags and a Petunia on a leash.

“What are you doing here?” I quickly dry my face and try to fix my hair. I look awful. Luke looks at me confused and opens his arms, as if the answer is wide open there.

“I came to take care of you, of course.” he laughs. Leah is behind him, smiling like hell.

I sink my face into the pillow, wanting to cry more. I don't deserve him. I don’t deserve. Luke lets go of Petunia, who runs off to try to climb onto the couch and lick me. Leah helps Luke empty the bags in the kitchen.

While they straighten everything out in the kitchen, I go back to tidying up my appearance, trying to look at least presentable.

"I brought some soup that Calum made. Pain killers, sweets and some facial masks, This always helps you relax and get better.” he comes closer and I just want to bury myself. I look awful.

“I can't believe you came here and still brought all this.” my heart melts at the attitude and smile he gives.

"I'm sorry if you thought you were going to get rid of me." he sits beside me with a bowl of soup, pleasant smell by the way. I move closer, almost getting under his arms and snuggling into his chest. However, I still keep a safe distance and control my urges to cling to him.

“Well, since you’re very well cared for and accompanied. I think I'm on my way.” Leah still has the smile. “Get well.” she kisses my cheek. "Anything, call me. And you, take good care of her.” she orders Luke.

“Promise!” he raises his right hand.

Leah left, leaving us alone. Petunia lying on my lap, curious about the hot water bottle. Luke beside me, holding the bowl and spoonful of broth toward me.

"You know you don't have to spoon-feed me, don't you?" I ask before opening my mouth.

"Can you let me take care of you?" he counters, falsely sulking.

“You can, just don't need…”

“Sh-sh! Eat the soup.” he advances another spoonful into my mouth. I roll my eyes, silent.

"Calum who did it?" I ask impressed, after a few spoonfuls.

“He's been taking some cooking lessons, especially now that he's turned vegetarian.”

"You should do it too, to stop making eggs in the microwave." I let a fake smile in the end.

"Worried about me?" he asks smiling.

"Shut up and give me the soup." I ignored him, taking a deep breath and not smiling under his amused gaze.

Between spoonfuls, I play with Petunia, already feeling much better. At least the urge to cry has passed.

"You said you brought candy." I knelt on the couch, watching him carry the bowl of soup to the sink. Luke laughs, grabbing some white and pink boxes from the fridge.

“Yes, I believe sugar can help.” he puts the boxes on the table and pulls Petunia onto the rug. “You don’t!” she barks. “You can’t!” she barks louder. “Hey! Come! I'll give you your food.” I watch her follow him into the kitchen.

I open the first white box seeing a generous piece of Red Velvet. I pick up the fork he brought and already steal a piece. In the second box, I find four cupcakes and four donuts. My eyes widen as I open the third box.

"Did you go to Mr. Marshall's restaurant?" I question shocked.

“Yea! You said you liked his chocolate cake. He made this one especially for you.” I look at the smaller size cake.

“I don't remember him decorating with M&Ms.” I comment, stealing a piece already.

“Oh, I asked him to do it.”

I close my eyes, letting my body react to that information any way it wants to. He asked them to put M&Ms on my cake because he knows I like it.

Luke returns to sit beside me, picking up a white chocolate cupcake. I hold the box of Red Velvet in my lap, recklessly eating the cake.

"Argh! I feel so guilty. I'm going to get fat like this.” I complain, but without stopping eating.

“You are indisposed, you can eat what you want. Tomorrow we worry about our weight.” Luke speaks with his mouth full.

"I thought you didn't like red desserts." I comment, watching him take a full fork of my cake.

“How do you know that?” he looks at me curiously. Then I realize I've been cornered.

“In an interview last year.” then I fill my mouth, making it impossible for me to continue the conversation.

"Are you still googling me?" he puts again that amused/satisfied smile on his face.

“Of course, you were my boyfriend. I need to know what kind of people I'm getting involved with.” I shrug.

“I understood. Well, I really don't like it. I don't understand the need to make it red.”

“It's to be more aesthetically beautiful. It's like wearing makeup. You use it and looks more beautiful, it enhances your beauty.” Luke stares at me, holding back his laughter. I've seen this same expression when I defended my M&M’s organizer.

“Well, I know you're crazy about this cake, so I brought it.” he shrugs, like it's no big deal. But for me it's something. If Luke still has any intentions of winning me back, he's doing great.

“Thanks.” I advance toward him, kissing his cheek in shyly. I notice Luke is ashamed too, but maintains his pose.

After we stuff ourselves with candy. Luke and I were in the bathroom, trying to put on those face masks. At first I thought he brought it just for me, but when I saw him putting it on, I understood that he would participate body and soul in that night with me.

“This isn't right.” he comments still struggling with that piece of material.

"You didn't put it upside down, did you?" I approach trying to help.

“No! The eyes are here. So why don't stay?” I see the mask slip off his face. I hold back a laugh, taking the material from his hands.

"If you take the cape off, it stays." I pull out the plastic that holds the oils and put it on his face.

“Makes more sense.” he comments, watching me massage his face. “I need to shave.” he says as I massage his cheeks.

“No!” the answer comes out faster than I can think.

Luke stares at me in surprise at the revelation. With my hands still on his face, I notice the mood and walk away, drying my hands.

“And now?” I stare at him behind me in the mirror. Luke just raises his hands and shakes his fingers, demonstrating that we're going to get our nails done. The scene itself is so funny it makes me laugh. He's the best boyfriend anyone could have. "I think we'd better wait the twenty minutes for the mask, so as not to blur our work."

“Truth. Let's get back to the series then.” he turns around, his back to me, crouching down a little. I grab his shoulders and push off, climbing on his back. And like this, we go back to the room, on piggyback.

I go back under the covers, grateful that I'm sitting down because my legs are killing me. How can something that stays in the womb fuck my entire body? I shift uncomfortably, not finding a position that would make my legs stop hurting.

“Is it everything OK?” he asks, hitting play on The Office.

“My legs.” I answer softly, lying down on the couch with my head next to him.

“Turn. Put your legs here.” he pats his lap. I roll over on the couch, leaving my legs in his lap, where within seconds Luke starts massaging my legs.

I roll my eyes, feeling my body soften. A moan wants to escape, but I hold it with all the strength in the world, along with the treacherous declaration that explodes in my chest. They were three dangerous words that could mess with him more than anything else.

“You are incredible!” I exchange the words, feeling more secure in that expression. The blonde chuckles, shaking his head as he squeezes my foot.

I can't focus for a minute on TV. The feel of him touching my skin so gently and stiffly steals all my attention. I shift my gaze between him and the screen so I don't get so in the face that I'm staring at him.

After twenty minutes of the mask, we went back to the bathroom, washing our faces and then starting to do our nails. I'm sitting, glued to Luke, my hand propped up on a pillow in his lap as he applies the black nail polish. Once again I shift my gaze between him and the new episode, but I don't care if he catches me staring in the meantime.

"Did we do that a lot?" I inquire softly. Luke doesn't answer me with words, too focused on his work, just nodding his head positively.

“Especially when you were feeling bad, or when I was really tired and stressed out.” he complements after finishing a hand. “Tv shows, candies, beauty treatments and massage. Once you wanted to invent climbing on my back, massaging me with your feet.” he starts to smile, still focused.

“I'm sorry.” I lay my head against his shoulder. Let out a low laugh, focused on him.

“It wasn't one of our best ideas. But I can't deny that it wasn't good.”

"Were you happy with me? I mean, we had a good relationship, didn't we?” I question after a while.

Luke stops and stares at the wall, maybe thinking. I analyze your profile apprehensive about the delay. Then his eyes connect to mine. It's like a screen, I don't need the answer anymore, it's there, explicit in the glow of his eyes.

“Yes. I believe we had a great relationship.” he goes back to painting my nails, putting the last coat on.

“Itn't was those weird, honeyed types, was it?” curiosity takes me more every second. Luke holds back a laugh, denying it.

“No! I tried once, but you hit me with the pillow. But that's not our style either. It's like wanting Leah to be cute.” he shrugs. "Don't let her know that." he looked at me in alarm.

“I won’t! Honestly, I'm glad it's you here.” he stops and looks at me curiously. “You know…not that she's not amazing. Even because she was taking really good care of me, but…” I swallow with his gaze so fixed on me. Oh Lord, where are the words?! “You are you!” I shrug. "Don't let her know that." I ask in an alarmed way, as well as he.

“I'm me?” he turns more to me.

“Yeah!” I take a deep breath, trying to find myself in the mess I decided to make. “You seem to know how to handle this whole situation and cause…" Why is it so hard for me to say that I enjoy his company? “You know…I like being with you.” I whisper, wanting to crumble into thin air and disappear.

I lower my gaze, not holding that moment. I've known Luke for a month. I know that he only has size and age in his identity, that inside he is as child and silly as the guys. But there's something about him, so subtle and unobtrusive, that intimidates me so much.

“I like being with you too… but something tells me you already know.” the playful tone breaks the pit of shame I was in. I open a shy smile, going back to watching him finish painting my nails.

“Can I ask you something?” I question fearfully, after he finishes. Luke nodded. "How was that day? The one from the accident.”

He just stops. His jaw locks and that glint in his eyes fades. He leans back against the sofa, snorting. I feel bad for causing this discomfort. I'm even thinking about withdrawing the question, however, Luke is already starting to speak.

“You had gone to rehearse for Vogue and then we were supposed to go to lunch cause I turned off your alarm, and then you were late and we can't have breakfast together.” he narrates quietly and with a lost look.

"Why did you turned off my alarm?" I frown, confused.

"Cause I thought that way you'd stay home with me." I pick up my lips, pressing them together so I don't laugh at his pout. “Well, I was at the restaurant when it happened. The manager came to me and told me what happened, apparently was already on the news.” he takes a deep breath before continuing. “I was the first to arrive, but you were already in attendance, so I only saw you in your room a couple hours later.”

"The nurse said you slept there." I comment quietly, letting my mind wander to that day. Your cheeks are easily pink.

"I wasn't leaving your side." he answers in the same tone.

“Sorry I got you into this. And for being stupid the first time we met…again.” I add.

“It's OK! I mean, it was kind of good.” I widen my eyes, not understanding. “By making you fall in love with me again, I also ended up falling in love with you all over again.”

My heart races. The revelation takes me by surprise, not giving me time to hide the stupid grin gaping at my face. I roll my eyes, looking at the TV, which is currently playing with Jim asking Pam on a date. Ironically, she had the same stupid smile as mine.

"I never said I'm in love with you." I try to maintain my dignity, or whatever I'm supposed to maintain at a time like this.

“It's just a matter of time.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see him shrug. “You've already admitted that you like being with me. For those who hated me in that hospital, enjoying my presence is already a big step forward.”

I bite my lip, closing my eyes. He can’t be serious.

"I never said I hated you." I look at him, who was focused on the TV.

"And you never said you're not in love with me either." he blinks, smiling in amusement.

“I hate you!” I say loud enough.

“In seventh grade, when a girl said she hated a boy, it's because she liked him.” Luke comments, leaving me speechless, my mouth hanging open. "I will take your silence as a yes."

I kneel down on the couch, taking the pillow from my lap and hitting it. Hemmings starts to laugh as he shields himself from the flurry of beatings I give him. My God, how I hate him.

I return to sit on the couch more relieved, but still with my heart pounding. It's a mixture of very random feelings. I want to hit him at the same time I want to kiss him as I sink his head into the coffee table, telling him how much I like him.

The desire to let these feelings take over me fascinates me. But that's not how I wanted everything to happen between us. Expected to be a little more romantic, with me more tidy and less messy.

"You made me smudge my nail." Finally, I accuse him, sulking.

#michael 5sos #5sos imagine #5sosedit #luke 5sos #5sauce #calum 5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos blurbs #5sos fanfic #5sos #ashton 5 seconds of summer #ashton 5sos #ashton fletcher irwin #ashton irwin #calum 5sauce #michael gordon clifford #calum hood #michael clifford #memorieslrh #mgc #afi #cth #lrh #luke hemming imagines #luke robert hemmings #luke hemmo #lukey #luke hemmings smut #luke hemmings #luke hemmings fluff

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Superheroes with Secrets: Convention Time (Fic part 124) (Set in 2001)

Around 2000 Words. 18+ in places.

please inform me if you wish to be tagged/untagged from posts.

Tags: @piratewithvigor

‘Giantess’ Kirby Roussimoff x Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms (Circa 2001)

Reference Posts: Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms

Kirby ‘The Blacklight Bandit’ Roussimoff

"Could be either. It's still damn cool."

"No no, not that, uhm, how do I explain this? In magic by numbers, numbers are connected heavily to symbolism, and part of that is colours... the number three is ... green and eight ... eight is orange." She explains, blushing bright red as she tries her best to explain.

"That's us." He grins.

"Yeah, almost like we were destined to be together, perhaps we were?" She whispers to herself.

"I believe it. Some cosmic force wanted us together."

"I feel the need to buy sage." She murmurs.

"Do the cosmic forces tell us to buy herbs?"

"Sage is meant to purify, it's why people burn sage, to cleanse a room of potentially harmful spirits." She explains softly.

"Makes sense."

"A lot of plants and herbs are used for different things in wiccan practices, usually through incense."

"That's pretty damn cool."

"Basil is used for fertility. Bay is used to remove curses. Catnip is used to attract love and popularity as well as safety when travelling. Chamomile is used for nightmares and insomnia. Chives keep away negativity, and so on." She explains as they reach the elevator.

"I think whoever said that about Catnip just liked cats."

Kirby sighs, "you probably don't care about any of this." She whispers as she presses the button for the elevator.

"I care. I think it's cool."

"I don't want to bore you with my weird beliefs and things that people have called me crazy for believing in."

"If I were bored, you'd know."

"I just... I've been called insane for believing in the supernatural and witchcraft." She admits.

"It all makes more sense than a magic man who lives in the sky and loves you unless you're not an American. Mormons are fucking weird."

"You don't think I'm insane?" She asks gently.

"Not at all."

Kirby pulls Helms into a gentle kiss, "thank you, mon ange."

"My pleasure."

It doesn't take long for the two to get to the convention centre, sitting in the car together for a moment before heading to Kirby's table in the convention hall.

"Guess I haven't really considered it, but I guess I can't just hang out at your booth all day."

"Why not?" She asks gently, trying not to look concerned.

"I mean, you're gonna have fans talking to you all day, and if not them, then your friends. Don't need me around to cramp your style."

"No no, you stay, Shane, I don't want you to leave me alone," She whispers, pulling Helms into a tight hug, "please don't leave me."

"I won't, sweetheart. Was just worried you wouldn't want me around."

"As if. Shane, you are the one person I need by my side at all times, especially now, while I'm pregnant." She puts emphasis on the word 'pregnant'.

"Then I'll never leave your side."

"I need you near me, Shane, I'll go crazy without you, also who else would I trust to hold me to the pregnancy diet." She half-jokes.

"That's a good point. Gotta keep an eye on my girl."

"Can I make you my food related errand boy?" She asks jokingly.

"That, I can definitely do."

"I love you, Shane, my gothic prince of love."

"I love you too." He smiles, kissing her cheek gently

"My bodyguard, my husband, my beloved superhero." She whispers against his neck before pulling away to sit down.

"Also your gopher and resident creep-resister."

Kirby pulls Helms onto her lap, kissing him deeply.

"Think maybe when people start showing up, we should keep the PDA to a minimum. Just so we don't scare them off or make them uncomfortable." He murmurs.

"But, sexy husband, want to kiss all day... fine." She murmurs as she lets him up.

"We can hold hands under the table, though."

"You gotta sit down beside me, on my left side, either that or I'm sending your sexy ass to get us milkshakes."

"Milkshakes first, then I sit?"

Kirby thinks for a moment before nodding in agreement.

"I'm on it, sweetheart." He kisses her cheek quickly before starting on his hunt.

Kirby waits for anyone to come up to the table. Kirby's on her fifth autograph when Helms returns. He's got two milkshakes in tow and already downed half of one. Kirby signs the photo and gives the fan a small smile as she waves goodbye to them.

"How're things going here?"

"Oh, I think it's going good, five autographs done and one t-shirt sold." She smiles at Helms, making grabby hands towards him.

He passes her her milkshake with a quick greeting kiss.

"Love you, mon mari." Kirby murmurs as she sips her milkshake, waiting for another fan to show up.

"I love you too, sweetheart. So damn much."

"My baby daddy, the handsomest man in the universe." She states proudly.

"Aw, you big flirt."

"I love you, and I love making you blush, ya cute little goofball." She whispers, before going back into 'fan mode' as someone approaches her table.

Helms keeps out of the way, happily sipping on his milkshake. Kirby spends the next hour dealing with fans before getting another chance to take a break.

Kirby gets up to stretch her legs, "mon ange, can you follow me to the bathroom, watch the door?"

"Sure thing. Need me to look tough?"

"You already look tough, I'm a little worried that if you flex, you might rip your shirt." She whispers as she kisses him gently.

"It'd be a fun experiment."

"You gonna flex, mon amour?" She questions teasingly.

"Maybe not here, where I don't have a change of shirt."

"You can wear one of my merch shirts if you want." She offers.

"Works for me."

"So, which type of shirt ya want, Hon, I have my Inque shirts, tank tops, then the Blacklight Bandit shirts and tank tops too."

"Tank top works for me. Wanna show off the guns."

"Okay, but Bandit or Inque? Work me or horror film me?" She chuckles.

"Inque. I figure this is the horror crowd."

Kirby searches through the pile for a tank top his size, "alright, flex away, my love."

He flexes as hard as he can, eventually busting a few seems along the sleeves.

"See, told you that you could rip your shirt, mini Hulk." She whispers as she kisses him gently and hands him the tank top.

"Guess I've been getting bulkier than I thought."

"Sexy husband." Kirby murmurs as she heads towards the bathroom, taking his hand in hers.

"All for you, my love."

"Stay out here, I'll be back in five minutes."

"Yes, ma'am." He salutes.

Kirby freshens up, returning after five minutes and whispering small 'oww's to herself.

"You okay?"

"Your 'little buddy' is making my tits hurt." She whispers to him.

"Need a massage to make them feel better?"

"If you don't mind."

"I don't mind at all."

Kirby pulls Helms into the bathroom for a little privacy. He's almost too excited to start massaging them.

"Focus, baby daddy, I know you love my boobs, but focus."

"I'm focused. Trying to help my wife feel better."

Kirby pulls Helms into a gentle kiss, "thank you, mon mari." She whispers against his lips.

"It's my pleasure."

Kirby relaxes as he massages her chest, resting her hands on his hips.

"Feel better?"

Kirby nods in response, breathing a deep sigh of relief.

"Good. That's what I like to hear."

"You have magic hands, my love."

"That's why I gotta put them to use."

"Think I know a use for your hands, mon sauvage." She purrs.

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmn hmm." She nods.

"And what use is that?"

Kirby smirks, guiding one of his hands down to her crotch, "oui, mon sauvage?"

"Mm, that use, huh?"

"I got you off earlier." She whispers.

"Fair point."

"I mean... we don't have to if you don't want to." She shrugs, suddenly getting a little nervous.

"I definitely want to."

"You're sure, cause we don't have to."

"You think there's anywhere more private around here than the bathroom that the entire con will be using?"

"I don't know." She admits, blushing bright red and getting flustered.

"Just want to keep the show I'll be getting to myself. I'm a greedy man."

"Just forget I even brought up the idea." She murmurs as she pulls away from Helms.

"I just don't want to get walked in on. I'm still... still a little jumpy after Sean..."

"Just... I love you so much... but right now may not be the best time for me to be such an idiotic bitch in heat." She whispers, mostly to herself.

"You're not idiotic. You're hormonal. There's a difference."

"Doesn't feel like there's a difference, and now I probably have people waiting for me, and, gah, I'm so fucking stupid." She murmurs as she walks out of the bathroom.

"You're not stupid." He calls after her.

Kirby tries her best to look good for the fans, but she's getting exhausted quickly and after another hour and a half of dealing with the fans, she excuses herself to the bathroom to go be sick in a toilet. Kirby doesn't come back afterwards, instead she's shaking and crying in the bathroom, completely overwhelmed and just wanting to go home, not back to the hotel, but home. After a couple minutes, Helms starts getting concerned and goes to look for her. Kirby's breathing hitches as she tries to stop herself from crying, but it's no use, she's a complete wreck. His first instinct is to check the bathroom. Kirby's seconds away from collapsing when he walks in.

The instant he sees her, he's at her side, holding her up as best he can. "Jesus, Kirby, what's wrong?" He asks desperately.

"Everything, I just want to go home, not back to the hotel. Home. I'm exhausted and everything feels off or painful and I just want it to stop." She mumbles, trying her hardest to explain.

"If you want to leave now, I figure we can be back home in about eight hours. Ten at the most."

"Yes, please, Shane, I just want to go home." She murmurs, wiping tears away.

"We'll go home. We'll go check out, then I'll get you home, okay?"

"Okay." She nods.

"Okay. Know a back way out of here?"

Kirby nods, leading Helms back to her table to grab her stuff before leading him back to the car.

"You gonna be okay?" He asks gently.

"I don't know." She admits sheepishly.

"Would a slushy make you a little more okay?"

Kirby nods slowly.

"We'll make a stop before we get on the highway."

"But we need to get our stuff from the hotel." She murmurs.

"I'll handle it. Just want you to wait in the car for me, okay? Rest."

Kirby nods and settles into the passenger's seat, slowly falling asleep. Helms keeps as quiet as possible as he returns to the hotel. Kirby's chest rises and falls in a calm rhythm as she sleeps. It takes him about twenty minutes to pack up everything and get it down to the lobby, then another handful of minutes to check out and get the bags to the car. Kirby's stirs awake when he gets back in the car.

"Sorry, sweetheart, did I disturb you?" He murmurs.

"A little, but it's not a big deal, I love you, mon ange." She whispers.

"I love you too, sweetheart."

"I know you're wearing my merch, but you look sexy, mon sauvage."

"The merch arguably is what makes me sexy."

"No no, you are sexy without it on, you've seen my sketches of you, sexy husband." She argues softly.

"That's a very good point."

"So, my love, are we gonna get lunch and just drive?" She asks gently, pulling Helms into a gentle kiss.

"Thinking so, yeah. Maybe lunch to go."

"Yeah, perhaps we stop at a Seven-Eleven, get slushies and then, we go to a drive-thru for food?"

"That's the right way to do this for sure."

#Kirby Roussimoff #Shane Hurricane Helms #Blacklight Bandit #Orange and green - the perfect team #Superheroes with Secrets