#at least on the gender front

[yi-kers]

I just binged all of M!ik, and i just have to say how much I love how diverse the gender expression is among its characters!!

Like the obvious one is Opera, who’s canonically Non-Binary and uses they/them pronouns (at least in the English translation, since Japanese doesn’t really use gendered pronouns the same way), and who presents with a mix of feminine and masculine attributes, without it ever being seen as something strange by the other characters. Like, everyone just accepts that Opera is neither a man or woman. They’re just Opera.

But even outside of everyone’s favorite cat-demon, theres so many other gender nonconforming characters, including the main character!! Like I know that him dressing up in frilly dresses is played for a joke at one point, but for the most part, it’s not something he’s ashamed of. He’s a bit embarrassed to go on national tv dressed as an idol, but he also has a lot of fun doing it, even leaning more into it during the concert portion of the Evidol Games.

I also have a special place in my heart for the gnc men in the series, because I feel like that’s not something you really see all that often, except for with the generic pretty boy trope. But in M!ik we have Balam, who is undeniably a very masculine figure, but he has a lot of equally undeniably feminine traits. He’s very gentle and physically affectionate, and has a great love for small creatures and likes to make cute picture books. And on the Physical side of things, he has long hair that he wears down a lot that he carefully takes care to maintain (at least after he grows it out again).

And there’s a lot more than that, even just in the background characters that appear, but these three are the ones that came to mind first.

#I love this manga so much #it’s just so good!! #and it has some pretty good queer rep #at least on the gender front #and maybe on the sexuality front #tho that’s played for laughs more often #but still less often than a lot of other manga would #anyway #read Mairimashita! Iruma-Kun #mairimashita! iruma kun #welcome to demon school iruma kun #Iruma #Opera #opera m!ik #balam shichirou

[upside-down-uni]

i onow its good if a book makes me mad, that means when i write about it ill have something to say. but i really do dislike the slow cooker of anger it puts me in where i just stew and stew until i can put words in order... this time its even more infuriating cause on a fundamental level i wont be able to write about it since my paper is about the translation and not the content! yelling screaming biting into wood etc

#mo talks #i just finished girl woman other and boy do i dislike the treatment of the one nonbinary character #you cannot convince me evaristo is saving the transphobic rethoric of the rest of her book by #pulling an educational PSA a la We should be happy and grateful things change #this is my opinion rn at least. changes possible? #currently im feeling very. youre writing about womens issues/histories and include a trans character but instead of it being a transwoman #its a nonbinary person who gets their gender and pronouns invalidated by the most important adult in their life and all this in front of #continued transphobia from other characters AND being one of the impliedeanings for Other in the book title #like way to go making nonbinary people women lite again im ready to scream #WHY COULD YOU NOT HAVE WRITTE A TRANS WOMAN EVARISTO? #is it because essentially your book stands on bioessentialist feet of inherent difference between men and women? #also the ending was whack af in my opinion but who am i to judge

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

Okay so there's this offer for younger kids at my school that they're being watched the afternoon too and can do their homework and stuff, and the three women running that are actual gems and also you bet your ass they know you whether you're way too old for that or not, right?

Well, one of them approached me today randomly, like completely out of the blue. She just. had a favourite jacket that doesn't fit her anymore and since it's a favourite, she wanted someone she knows to have it and apparently thought of me. Now, the jacket is a tiny bit too big and it's ver, sturdy and kiiiinda military style and looks sick as fuck and that's amazing and in conclusion i love that woman.

But also, my brain apparently saw the jacket and went "that's soooo marquis de carabas", and you know what, my brain's right, it does look a bit similar to how i always picture his coat. Therefore I'll be adding a shitton of pockets inside :D

in conclusion, i got a fantastic jacket today, kinda-but-not-really? teachers are the most amazing people on earth and i need to learn how to properly sew with a machine and all RIGHT THIS SECOND

#a biscuit's rambles #im gonna have a pocket big enough for a book #and so many small ones for pens and stuff #and a medium sized one for like money and headphones #and one for my phone #and random smaller ones for Trinkets and Silly Rocks or whatever #and one for like keys and stuff #and and and #maybe ill even fit a SECOND book HOW SICK WOULD THAT BE?? #i neeeeeeed a sewing machine and the know how of a month at least #PLEASE #tho i ALSO still need to finish my other jacket #i have half a sleeve (urgent) the front (slightly less urgent) and the back (not yet urgent) still to go #or its just gonna fall apart while im wearing it #so i need to make patches and paint them and stuff #AND im boutta This close to make a karn helmet #ITS VERY GENDER OKAY I NEED IT #and four days of the week my afternoon is at least half gone not counting homework. rip me LMAO #nahhhhhhh itll be fineeeeeee #the jackets go first #bc it would be sad if i finished em in summer when its too fucking hot to wear them

[moxymaxing]

fighting for my life out here trying to maintain a positive existence. peace and love on planet earth

#being extrs nicey to people who hate my guts and more specifically my gender does not do much #but it keeps people from hating my guts in front of me and it makes people like that i act like a decent human being in a place where there #not a lot of that. so yeah people are mostly nicey in return even though they misgender me and see me as woman. who even give a care. #i loveee being the only open trans student out of like 400 people its so fun #but at least its not middle school god bless death to america #talking.txt

[scramblecomics]

average system

#gk #kris introject #tubbo introject #flower introject #thos doesnt have everyone LOL we are so many. i am not drawing all that this is just the main fronting gang RN #glitch is the only one without a real source lol he is chilling so bad... #normal guy core (but no hes insane. Trust :)) #hes the least normal guy core out of all of us #hes like a wet cat #BTW ourflower is he him. only. thumbs up EMOJI #trans gender ass system.. anyways #system comic

[dkettchen]

I thought there were many trans/nb people on my uni (animation/games/vfx) course when I was on it 5-7 years ago and there were like 5 of us in each year group, but the sheer amount of ppl I found out afterwards have transed their gender since (2 in my year group, 1 lecturer, and 1 in the year group above and below ours to my knowledge at current count if I haven’t forgotten about anyone) is both impressive and fairly unsurprising

#trans #games art #animation #vfx #I found another one on linkedin today that has they/them pronouns now seemingly and I'm like really? this one? huh! #also interesting demographic info to note that most of the ones that were out 5-7 years ago were transmasc #while almost all of the more recently out ones are transfemme #which is a) nice to see that the ratio is more even than I originally thought after all #and b) something something feminism made afab gender exploration possible earlier while the amabs have only felt able to more recently #overall at least obv we had some amab nbs at uni too but not that many that were out as such yet #but yes unsurprising that literally so many of us specialised in the jobs where you get to sit in front of a computer/drawing all day #and don't have to exist in meat space for hours at a time #we gotta add the CGI/VFX transfemme stereotype to the cartoon transmasc one it's time

[haarute]

yeah that's about right

#i have Thoughts about gender but every time i follow them i end up in ''man who cares this is dumb'' and stop. #that said as much as i wish i could say i don't care about it the reality is that neither i nor anyone born in society is exempt from it. #i'm a product of life experiences directly related to it and that has been engraved onto my being and my feelings. #so my aversion and rejection are a direct result. which is ironic to say the least. #the cisgender numbers are high because i mostly live my life without issues on the gender related front because i mostly don't mind. #the transgender numbers are high because i do wish my body was different and given the opportunity i would change it. #but it's more. Cosmetic i suppose. #i also do not want to be associated with what This Is Currently so that also counts. get me out here and whatever anyone places onto me. #but the thing is i am not interested in playing any game really. #i just want to be myself in peace. and that is not bound to any particular group or mentality or performance. i'm just me. #so anyway. as i was saying #man who cares this is dumb.

[bigtiddygandalf]

i cannot believe i have to say this, but please do not ask someone about their gender identity/pronouns at their place of business??

#like??? #what the fuck are you thinking? #a trans uber driver asked me if I was trans and asked for my pronouns a couple days ago in front of my manager #and my coworker whose recently been outed as a domestic abuser and homophobic pos #which led to me just like gaping and misgendering myself?? #i am not necessarily in the closet nor do I *want* to hide my gender #but I work in the service industry and sometimes I have to play cis #idk I just can’t stop thinking about it? #like I know it wasn’t intended to be hurtful #i know he had good intentions when asking but you gotta stop and realize that the world is scary for openly trans ppl #do not make the decision for other people who ring your trans alarm bells to put them WHERE THEY WORK #idk this is the third time this has happened to me #(at work at least) #but the first time someone had asked in front of my coworkers???

[orcelito]

ok listen objectively kisara and dohalim would be a "straight" pairing but listen neither of them r cishet like OBJECTIVELY just look at them. they literally call dohalim "flamboyant" in canon just LOOK at him. theyre not straight. and i am cradling them in my hands.

#speculation nation #i have reached a new level of shipping where im like 'yes this is a m/f pairing no this is not straight' #bi4bi and t4t let's GO #or if not trans then at least gender-nonconforming which DEFINITELY counts. to me. #listen lady knight and flamboyant lord what's not to love here #ngl seeing this late game shit with the two of them is really getting me closer and closer to admitting i like the pairing #the scene where kisara first calls him 'Do'............ ldkfjslkdfjsdf #AND THEN her calling him that in front of the others and Law being like 'Did you just-' b4 Rinwell pushes him along lmaoo #everyone too busy dunking on dohalim to realize kisara actually really really likes him #to be fair she also dunks on him. he made green goop pancakes with his face on them and called it art i think he deserves to be dunked on #also OH GOD THE PANCAKES lksjdflsdjflskdjfslkdjf dohalim pancakes... and he legit put his face on them. #i was fucking cackling #im enjoying wandering around the game in this late-game setting. just a bunch of shenanigans #shionne's max campfire bonding like lskdjflsdkjf alphen get ur brain out of the GUTTER 'do you wanna make something together?' 'w-what?!' #like broooooooooooo but tbh i kinda had that thought too so maybe i cant blame him. it was just the face she made while saying it ok #and then fantasizing about domestic living together... like ok i wouldnt quite say i Ship them but they are very cute. & very canon #BUT ALSOOOOOOO dohalim's max convo slkfjsldkfj drinking together... alphen commenting that it'd be a good time for music... #and on the space ship thing dohalim asking him to support him with leading their peoples... ooughhhhh #i want them to be joint rulers soooooooo badly. They Both Have Two Hands. #i can be a shionne/alphen/dohalim/kisara truther ok. alphen and dohalim have Two Hands #ldkfjsldkfj many thoughts. maaany thoughts. also love dohalim commenting on law's nonexistent love life lksjdflkdjf #'it wouldnt be called the spring of youth without a little storm every now and then' ok old man lmao hes not even old hejust sounds like it #also them finding a wiener (their word choice) recipe & dohalim commenting 'Personally i prefer bologna' #dohalim likes bologna canon. i Knew he was my favorite for a reason. #he likes weird food in general tho. king shit i love him #toarise spoilers/ #lots of rambling sldkjflsfj i just love this game

[asleepinawell]

last night in dun scaith I lb3ed scathach directly in the face because I was out of zoom juice and didn't feel like jogging across the arena to deal with the add. we killed each other at the same second and our corpses lay on the floor next to each other (gay). what I'm saying here is I finally figured out how to play samurai correctly

#IT WAS WORTH IT #I was in front of her because there was a stack on the tank and I set it off during that #so I was already hurt and I think she either cleaved or did a tb right as the lb went off #usually if you don't kill her right away when the second ad pops up it ends up with a sea of corpses #like sometimes it's not a wipe but a third of the raid is still dead #ffxiv #ffxivmp #mp #my wol is a boy...vaguely...but everything he does is gay by default #he doesn't even know what a gender is tbh #his gender is doing pushups on top of the convocation building in amaurot #to raise hades' aetherial blood pressure in the afterlife #I don't know what any of the sam stuff is called yet so I have my zoom juice and my sticker book #I had all the stickers when she killed me too rip #did not get to gay moon her alas #me whenever a boss dies when my big combo finisher thing is up: mY STICKERS NOOOO #at least they don't time out #also at least my buddy wasn't healing that time so they didn't have to pick up my dumb ass off the floor again

[local-magpie]

sometimes these days i think about who I was in 2017, compare them to who I am now. i've come so far, in so many ways, and I can't help but see that person as someone else entirely. They were so helpless, too proud to accept help or even that they needed help. They couldn't cook, couldn't keep a single thing clean - the guy I was dating back then once found a not-quite-empty half gallon of milk ready to explode behind my desk - and they couldn't make it to class, hardly ever. They went to OSU for two semesters, a different major each one because they couldn't decide what to do with themselves, and promptly failed out because they could not make it to class. There's similarities, I was still there under the skin; I've always been a fighter, never willing to give up, but back then I didn't even have a vision of what I wanted. I was just flailing around, determined to keep my head above water and convinced that was the whole end goal of my life.

It's like to that person, nothing better was even imagineable, which is probably why this year has been so surreal. Am I making any sales yet on my stock art? No, lol, I'm not even marketing enough for half my friends to know I'm in the ttrpg sphere professionally, as it turns out. But I'm doing it. I'm doing regular releases, actually keeping to a professional goal - I have a trade name, I'm networking, I've already had one paid project this year. I fought tooth and claw to finally get my degree, and now I have a salaried job. It's not perfect, but I finally fucking figured out what I'm fighting for, and it's not settling for being able to breathe. The last few years I've been so much happier than like... any other time in my life, even while dealing with some seriously crushing medical issues that STILL affect me today, and while I've been sort of confused but not questioning it this whole time, I think this is the root of it.

I'm not trying to go it alone, I'm not accepting anything less than happiness. I'm setting goals based on what will make me happy and satisfied with my life, instead of what I think I can convince life to give me. It's not easy, nothing worthwhile is, but I think I'd actually rather die than go back to who I was back then, wallowing in my circumstances and telling myself it was enough.

#this feels pretentious somehow but im literally just trying to get my thoughts down so whatever #i always feel a little dumb saying shit like 'i clawed my way to where i am' because i do have a pretty privileged background #but it turns out health does not give a shit about that and is an equal opportunity asshole #most people say it and mean theyre fighting society but i mean it like i fought myself and god and won #or at least am winning #very much still fighting the good fight #but i refuse to stand still #i refuse to just let things happen to me if i can do literally anything about it #we keep moving #one foot in front of the other #yelling at the void #also if you're wondering the use of they is very intentional #because honestly part of the divide is that back then i was iding as nb and avoiding thinking about gender any further #i didnt WANT to think about it. i blocked out the idea that i might be anything else for a long time #it was like two years ago now that a fucking. tiktok. shattered that shell #idk im just living more authentically as myself nowadays in like a million ways #and i am so so glad #i dont like... hate my old self or anything though #if anything i pity them #imagine if they had been able to pick themselves up off the ground sooner #what could they have done at OSU? what could they have done with their life? #well. they didn't. so they're me now #and I'm doing this now instead of whatever they'd have done #suddenly understanding the idea that life is a series of ego deaths

[weed-cat]

shoutout to my main man ghostie @coyoteculture for calling me ethan because aer the only one who’s done it so far and the gender euphoria incredible. 

#like i have scrolled up to that exchange at least three times today just to get that dopamine hit again #like i don't want to be referred to exclusively as ethan i want it to be interchangeable with ash/bur #but its very very very gender when people demonstrate that they're thinking of me as Both #anyway i love you king lets go gay kiss in dream's front yard

[thethingything]

oh yeah on the topic of our fashion choices, apparently at one point in 2019 we'd wear a beanie, some sunglasses, and a mask whenever we went outside and honestly, 10/10 in terms of privacy but you absolutely cannot do that when it's warm out

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #we went from all the bright sparkly stuff to like plain t-shirts and button-ups and long coats and stuff I guess? #I'm just looking back at photos because we actually have some from 2019 at least #and I think maybe late 2018 was when we started wearing mostly stuff like sweatpants and t-shirts and that kind of thing #I think it was due to a combination of sensory issues and practicality and gender dysphoria #actually I'd love to know who was fronting the most during each of these time periods too #because that would definitely have impacted our fashion choices #there are several instances of us cosplaying different characters that we now know we have fictives of and that's kind of funny to me #at the time it was like ''wow I really want to dress up as this character. I wish I could cosplay them whenever'' #hmm I wonder why /s #we definitely wore some of our less conspicuous cosplay clothes as everyday clothing at times

[myname-isnia]

Just over a month ago I was 100% convinced that I was bi, openly talked about wanting a girlfriend, mentioned on several occasioned that I want to meet a pretty girl who’d rail me well enough for me to want to uproot my entire life and move to be with her, etc etc. I was so sure of this, believed it for five whole years, almost to the day. The anniversary of my realisation was just about a week away

Then, in the span of one night, it was as though a switch was flipped. Nothing happened, but something changed. I realised that I have never once experienced romantic or sexual attraction to any real person and that the thought of being touched made me want to vomit. I decided that the aroace label fits me better. It was a big hit to my sense of self because I felt like an entire third of my life was a lie. But it’s alright, I told myself. It’s still possible to find people who will love you. Family, friends, maybe a qpr. Everything will be okay. I never was aphobic towards others in any way, but definitely had some internalised aphobia directed at myself to work through

Not long after, when I had yet another fight with my mom, I realised that I was afamilial too. Family was always a touchy subject for me. My parents can't stand each other, neither could my maternal grandparents. I hated my little sister for the longest time because my mom didn't want to be around us any longer than she absolutely had to and essentially dumped her on me. My extended family was always wracked with conflicts too. So as soon as I was old enough to understand all of that, I lost all love for my family. I still care for them and would try to help them in any way if needed, but I don't exactly love them in the expected way. And I don't want a found family either, no matter how much I like that trope in fiction. I've had friend groups before that attempted to assign familial roles to everyone, and I hated that. It didn't matter if I ended up the put-upon older sister, the distant aunt or the mom friend, I refused any role I was given and was ostracized for it. Whether biological or not, I don't want to be anyone's parent, sibling, daughter, or anything else

That was all very hard to work through and accept, but I'm slowly getting there. I had a long crisis about feeling like I will never be enough because all I can offer someone is a platonic relationship. That's still something I struggle with, but it was slowly getting better. Until I suddenly understood that I didn't want a qpr either. I don't know, it just feels like... too much. Too personal, too intimate, too close for comfort. Something that I wouldn't trust anyone to not turn into something I wouldn't want. I have struggles with boundaries, my touch repulsion fluctuates way too much, I have an unpredictable temper and am way too easy to piss off. I don't think I could ever be in something as close as a queerplatonic relationship with anyone, it would make everyone involved miserable. So it isn't something I want either

And now, as if all of that wasn't enough, I'm considering a possible aplatonic identity as well. I'm not completely aplatonic, I have a handful of very close friends that I deeply care for and genuinely love, but I have no interest in expanding that circle. Friendships never came easy to me, I was always the backup friend for everyone to talk to when no one better was around. And when I did make friends, I often struggled with feeling genuine empathy towards them and didn't realise I was hurting them by leaving their messages on read or not wanting to hang out after school. I always felt so out of place in friend groups, and in one-on-one friendships I was always too much. Too clingy, too obsessive, too ignorant of what the other person wanted. Because it wasn't friendship I craved, but attention and a chance to talk to someone. So while I wouldn't trade the friends I do have for the world, I don't want any new ones. I have no interest in "finding my crowd" or whatever. I'm okay with what I have, I don't need anything else. After scrolling through the relevant tags it seems like plato-indifferent demiplatonic is as close I can get to describing how I feel

So... I don't know. On one hand, I'm happy that I'm figuring myself out and can feel more confident about both my identity and what I want from life. But on the other... it feels like some kinds of threads are snapping one by one. Like I'm becoming less and less connected to what is supposed to make me human. I know that's stupid, love isn't what makes us human, there's nothing that decides someone's humanity apart from the fact they're born a homo sapiens. But if I don't feel romantic or sexual attraction, don't want a family or a qpr or new friends, what worth is there to me? Humans aren't meant to live isolated, but I seem to lack the ability to form genuine connections 99% of the time. If I lose my current friends, I don't think I'll be able to make new ones. And then I'll be alone

I know this all probably stems from trauma and if I manage to heal, some of that may change and I'll find myself wanting things that currently make me nauseous to even think about. But there's no guarantee I will ever heal, or that things will change if I do. It almost seems like I was destined to be alone, like my very being is self sabotaging by nature. Or maybe I'm overreacting and this is all just some internalised shit that I need to work through. I don't know. I just don't fucking know

#no idea where this is all coming from but I needed to get it all on paper. so to speak #so it stops orbiting around my brain and driving me nuts #this all really is so tiring and painful to think about... #at least I got it out. I should probably go try to focus on smth else now so I don't cry in front of my grandma #but can I just say #aromantic asexual aqueerplatonic afamilial plato-indifferent demiplatonic is a fucking mouthful #and that's not even touching upon the mess that is my gender identity #ughhh. why can't these things just be easy

[autismcupcake]

I am thinking way too hard about the logistics of regency etiquette and address adapting to queer couples instead of actually sleeping. Help.

#the etiquette thing I couldn't avoid but the address like. this is what you get for introducing nobility in your story. #I COULD technically go back on that but I'm already attached to it and the related plot and character aspects so I shall simply suffer #like I can't decide whether marrying a titled person of your gender would ALSO give you a title or no #bc like. if a titled lady married an untitled dude she keeps her title and he keeps his lack thereof #but as you probably know if any lady title or no marries a titled man she gets his title #which annoys me a little because imagine being Lady [first name] and having to take on your husbands last name instead. I'd be so insulted. #like it's really not THAT big a deal but getting lady in front of your FIRST name means you're at LEAST an earl's daughter #but having it in front of your LAST name makes you anything from an earl to a KNIGHT's wife which is a major difference in society #knights and baronets (which is just basically the same but passes down through generations) aren't even nobility #they're just High Gentry so that is a MASSIVE difference in society and rank #but anywave. that's enough of that I just have lots of thoughts and opinions

[mangle-my-mind]

I get my nails done and I'm a glamorous Park Avenue woman in the way to pick up a vintage fur at Bergdorf. Then the manicure grows out and I cut my nails real short and suddenly I'm the crusty but sexy frontman of a 70s rock band.

#The state of my nails is my most visceral gender expression thing (in my head at least) #Just cut them short again and I need to lip sync to Iggy pop in front of my mirror