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nevertheless-moving · 3 months

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I'm not quite there yet but I KNOW that after wind and truth featuring Szeth and Kaladin's Unwell Adventure, I WILL be adding Kalaszeth to my all encompassing mental cabinet of beloved possible Kaladin ships.

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Which introduces a new funniest time travel companion for a new funniest post book 5 time travel scenario.

Stormlight au 31:

Szeth, having jump scared the bridge crew by appearing lightly glowing in the dark while they were having stew, been hastily ushered by the captain into the bridge four barrack, only to sit on the floor and stare dead eyed at nothing: Kaladin, standing between the crew and the man on the floor:

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Lopen looked around. As usual, he could tell that the men were silently crying out for him, the Lopen, to take charge and speak.

"So!" he said cheerfully. "Gotta say gancho, very excited to meet an old friend of yours! Nice to take some mystery out of that mysterious past of yours, eh?"

Kaladin shifted from foot to foot, face twisting a bit. He had been acting strange since that terrifying glowy high storm vision of his a few days back. Even more broody than usual, which was storming saying something.

"It must be difficult," Rock said slowly. "Being Shin man with great powers and shardblade."

A shardblade which he had summoned unceremoniously, causing all of bridge four to scramble for weapons, only for the crazy man to hand it to Kaladin with a mumble, then sit on the floor.

Kaladin had sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, before placing it, very, very carefully, under his bed.

A storming shardblade. Under the Captain's bed.

"A Shin with a shardblade who wears white," Moash added sarcastically, eyes flickering to the Captain's bed even more than usual.

(White may have been a stretch, what with all the mud and possibly dried blood. Still. Lopen could perhaps see Moash's point.)

"Yes," Rock said. "Why, were I more suspicious man, I would say Captain, this man on the floor, he can not be Assassin in White? Surely most wanted, most dangerous man in all Roshar is not here, in the place we sleep, asking for aid. Surely it would have been mentioned if this man who caused the war we even now are a part of, was old friend of yours?"

"I..." Kaladin trailed off. "I promised to try and protect..."

The whole bridge crew groaned, Skar even throwing his spear at the ground. Bad form, that.

"Storm's sake lad!" Teft growled, arms in the air. "You can't befriend and save every wanted criminal you meet!"

"If it is of help -"

The men started at the unnerving dead voice coming from the so far quiet assassin.

"We are not truly friends. Merely -"

He said a word, presumably in his language, then frowned, the first recognizably human emotion that had crossed his face.

"I do not know this word in Alethi. In Azish it is I think -"

He said something that made Sigzil choke on air, jaw dropping. "Uh," the Worldsinger stammered out. "I. Ah. I think. That might be the wrong term."

The Captain seemed to pale slightly. "Szeth, we can talk about that later," he said quickly. "We should probably figure out a plan for you to surrender to Dalinar - or Elokhar - without you getting immediately executed - Yes, Dalinar is probably-"

"Perhaps," Sigzil interrupted, voice higher than usual. "You could define the meaning of the word you used before."

"Sigzil!" The captain hissed.

"Captain?" Sigzil challenged, voice still slightly too high.

"I was emotionally and mentally unwell," the assassin in white said in his monotone. He paused. "Even more so than currently."

A few of the men took a step back.

"Stormblessed..." he looked up at Kaladin, and his voice seemed to soften, just the slightest bit. "He felt pity for me. Then he helped me feel. Helped me think that perhaps, someday I would feel the desire for life. He did this despite no great love for my being."

Many of the men nodded at that. Sigzil's shoulders slumped in relief.

"He accomplished this primarily by fucking me in a cave."

The nods froze. Sigzil closed his eyes.

The Captain slapped a hand to his face.

"The translation for this from my language would be 'pity fuck', but there is more cultural nuance..." The Assassin shrugged. "In any case it is not a bond such as that of friendship. My soul is still far too damaged for that."

"Szeth..." The Captain said, looking down at him with obvious concern. He glanced at the room, blanched at the men's expressions, then slowly pressed his head back into his hand.

Moash made an indecipherable noise and stomped towards the door, before making another noise and stomping back.

The Captain kept his palm pressed to his face.

A sudden wave of epiphany hit Lopen. "Hold on. Now hold on just a storming minute!"

The room turned slowly from staring at their Stormblessed leader to staring at Lopen.

He pointed accusingly at the Captain. When the man failed to pull his massive hand from his beautiful face, Lopen faced the others, glaring.

"I know that I joined bridge four late! But are you telling me that before I got here, the whole famous 'pulling everyone out of bridge crew misery' was actually the captain...I mean did storming all of you..."

He made a deliberate gesture, pointer finger moving extra emphatically to make up for the missing hand with which to form a hole, meeting each man's eyes with a challenge.

Drehy let out a wheeze. He and Skar looked at each other before dissolving into quiet, helpless laughter. Drehy sank to his hands and knees, wheezing more, and Skar bent over, tears streaming down his face as he gasped around his laughing.

"That ain't an answer!" he said indignantly.

He looked at Teft, but the older man had put both hands over his face. His shoulders seem to shake occasionally. Lopen's eyes narrowed as he turned to Rock.

The horneater had a hand over his mouth, but he brought it down, coughing once as he stroked his beard.

"What," Rock said mildly. "You thought it my stew that bring back men's will to live? You honor me, the Lopen."

Lopen gaped at that, and he wasn't the only one. The handful of other 'late' additions, men who had been rescued on the field from other crews, started in shock.

The rest of the crew completely lost it at that point.

Skar and Drehy collapsed further, banging their fists on the floor. Bissig started laughing as well, falling onto Natam, who had made a strange grunting whine at Lopen's question, a whine which grew louder at Rock's reply.

Moash's lips turned up reluctantly before a snort escaped against his will. He fell back against a wall, knees seeming to grow weak. Another snort. "Imagine!" he gasped out. "If he just started punching people in the stomach, ran around like a madman, and expected people to follow him!"

Leyten went from chuckling to a booming laugh at that, clutching at Pete and Yake to stay upright. He looked at Lopen, who made another questioning gesture. That was enough to send all three toppling over, Leyten loud enough to be heard the next barrack over.

Renarin squeaked from the corner as Natam hit the wall beside him in mirth, howling. Talek's breath, he had forgotten the lad was there, light eyes wide in shock.

Shen was next to him. Was it Lopen's imagination, or did even his eyes seemed to be sparkling with mirth? No storming way...not the parshman...the Captain wouldn't...

"Crazy!" Torfin agreed, cackling. "What kind of idiots would start pooling all their pay to buy storming bandages for doomed men, start laughing during chasm duty, swear to stand by their storming bridge, if they didn't have at least one, um - uh -"

"Stormblessing!" Leyten offered with a gasp from the ground.

Torfin pointed at him, "Stormblessing!" he repeated with a yell. "To remind them that life was worth living!"

Lopen narrowed his eyes, finally coming to a conclusion. "You fellows are taking the piss out on me," he accused.

"You know Captain," Drehy said, whole body heaving, tears still streaming down his face as he lay helplessly on the floor. "I still get nightmares."

This inspired a new wave of laughter mixed with jeers about their own issues, and suggestions for how the captain could help. Lopen shook his head, grinning widely at the room full of uproarious men. Some of his best work. And mostly achieved on accident, which was the best kind of accomplishment!

The Captain finally pulled his hand from his face. There was color high in his cheeks, and he was frowning, but the corners of his eyes were creased with suppressed laughter.

"Sorry Drehy, one time offer," he said dryly, to hoots.

And Lopen," he said, faux apologetic. "I am sorry for the oversight. I... didn't realize you were interested."

The crew edged well into hysteria, most men only able to breathe in strangled gasps and wheeze out an occasional ''Stormblessing!'

Bridge four's captain was good at playing straight man, when the mood struck him.

The Lopen huffed, but decided magnanimously to move past the slight to his honor. Even if it turned out they weren't joking.

"It's still nice to be included," he sniffed. "Ain't that right, Renarin."

The Brightlord seemed to shrink as attention was drawn towards him, face a brilliant red as he pressed into the corner. Some of the laughter trailed off as the crew remembered he was there. More of it got louder, even less uncontrolled.

The Captain's eyes widened and the flush on his cheeks spread to his ears.

"Renarin! Oh - Jezrianssake, the men are full of chullshit, alright? I didn't - that wasn't -"

The Captain gestured helplessly. "The thing with Szeth was - we were - the world was going to -"

He threw up his arms as Renarin's eyes just got wider.

"It was the stew!" He said desperately, turning to look at Eth, who looked bemused back at him. "It really was the stew!" He pleaded.

"I know Captain," Eth said soothingly. "I know I came in a bit later, but I know. That's not exactly something these idiots would be able to keep secret."

"Things might have gone faster, though..." Skar said leadingly, which set off another round of helpless groans and gasps for air.

The Captain rolled his eyes, scoffing, still the perfect comedic straight man.

...He did get the whole joke though, right? The bit of truth in the jeers? The Lopen was not generally interested in the more manly sex but Storms. It was sometimes hard to tell if the Captain realized just how pretty he was, just how much people reacted to his general...Stormblessedness. Not to mention the glowing! Everyone loves a man who can glow and run up walls.

Hm. Maybe that helped explain the Captain and the Assassin.

Moash stumbled, still snorting, over to the Man in White - to Szeth - looking down at him, appraising.

Kaladin grew tense.

Gancho had been especially strange around Moash for the last few days.

"Assassin," he said thoughtfully. "Are you sure it was just pity?"

The wide eyed man, who had remained utterly impassive as the room fell apart around him, cocked his head as Moash leaned down.

"There's a certain kind of person who finds killing light eyes, especially powerful lighteyes, a rather..."

Kaladin cleared his throat, interrupting. "We're not killing the king."

Moash turned sharply, glaring at Kaladin.

"I do not wish to kill anymore," Szeth whispered. He paused, then spoke again.

"I will kill if the Blackthorn orders, or if you ask, Kaladin Stormblessed, son son Tanavast."

Kaladin winced. "Maybe let's not mention...that whole last part when we go to the King. We...we should definitely practice exactly how we're going to explain all this."

He starting towing the still blank faced - no there was a bit of confusion there, if you were looking - infamous Assassin to his office, the men letting out the best jeers they could (considering their incoherent state) as they went.

"You should for sure mention the 'pity fuck' thing though," Lopen called helpfully. "The King will definitely be interested in that."

#Stormlight archive #kaladin stormblessed #My au #stormlight fanfic #Stormlight au no 31 #Szeth/Kaladin #Words of Radiance au #lopen and szeth: untapped comedy tagteam??#lopen szeth and kaladin: three people who will just fucking say things???#i made myself laugh and as always that's whats important #New most entertaining kaladin sexuality: sex positive ace whose thing specifically is #he WILL happily have sex but ONLY if it will be emotionally healing for the other party #bridge four: that's just pity fu-#kaladin: IT'S PART OF A JOURNEY TOWARDS MENTAL RECOVERY I DON'T KNOW OKAY I'M STILL INVENTING THERAPY #wind and truth speculation #rhythm of war spoilers #crack #you know those two glowing men are going to have some feelings at the very least while adjacent to each other.#overnight in a cave is optional i can supply that myself if need be #cosmere #nevertheless cosmere

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queenofthequillandink · 1 month

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Controversial opinion about the Watcher streaming service, apparently: This was a really exciting announcement that everyone was so excited to shit on that y'all may end up killing Watcher altogether.

I'm going to try to be really clear about this, because I don't want to dismiss valid concerns, so here we go.

Watcher came to us and they said, "We want to make our best content for you. We don't want you to be the product we have to sell to advertisers, we want you to be an audience that we can take on the coolest journey we can make. But that takes money that we can't get from YouTube revenue." And I honestly thought this was a perfectly logical and reasonable direction to take the company so Watcher could continue to exist in its best possible form.

Are there things they could have stated more clearly? Yeah, especially that their YouTube library would still be available and what would happen to people who were already patrons of the channel.

Do I understand why people would be upset about potentially losing access to Watcher? Of course. It's an amazing company making amazing content, and not everyone can afford a streaming service. They did openly encourage password sharing, which I happen to think is very cool of them, but some people would still lose access and that sucks.

But I truly don't understand how "We want to make amazing content and keep our amazing team, and that needs a budget that YouTube just can't give us" turned into "Wahhhh give us your money, we want it all" to some people. I think it's worth remembering that Watcher is a small company with a small team, not a streaming giant looking for one more way to milk an extra cashflow opportunity.

I truly hope that Watcher making everything free on YouTube on a delay because people yelled loud enough doesn't shoot them in the foot. Because I think they make great content and I think they deserve to be paid fairly for it and pay their staff fairly for it. Content creators aren't factories; they don't have to churn free content out for you forever. If Watcher becomes untenable because Ryan, Shane, and Steven can't make good content and make enough money to live off of at the same time, it will simply vanish. And I'm sure some of the same people yelling about the streaming service will yell about that too, if it ever happens.

I don't know, I just didn't think, "We're trying to make the best possible content for you," deserved this much of an outcry.

#i KNOW some of y'all pay for dropout #you think they could make 3/4 of those shows if they were still mainly on YouTube?#like brennan #shane is simply unmonetizable when he acts like himself #at least to advertisers #they'll be able to handle heavier topics on ghost files without self-sensoring to stay ad-friendly!#they can take risks with their shows and know they have a solid income to rely on!#they can say fuck!#can't wait for the hate mail to roll in for this one #original #watcher #watcher entertainment #watcher tv #also it's definitely not the ONLY factor to the outcry #but i cannot help but think that it's not NOT a factor that the majority of people we've seen on watcher are poc

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softiedingo · 1 month

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"we messed up" also known as:

#watcher entertainment #watcher #ryan bergara #shane madej #steven lim #this is what happens when you make hasty decisions #they end up being stupid and always come back to bite you in the ass later #if i had a coin for every time i saw three men making excuses on a couch #i honestly expected something better than “we messed up”#siiigh #BUT it's still better than them moving on and ignoring our complaints #it's good to see that AT LEAST they were able to acknowledge they messed up

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keii · 10 months

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Mint Eye Yoosung making a reappearance. Despite the red flags in his head, he keeps coming back to MC's quarters since Saeran is usually busy to check up on her.

#um that's just water-- i swear #yoosung joins mint eye bc he trusts V LESS than Rika #Bc to him at least Rika is clear w her intentions despite how horrible they are than V is w his lies #he doesn't really care about the motives of the cult he just doesn't want to think about the future anymore #instead he wants to live for his own selfish intentions along w capturing V #messing w MC is just an added bonus to him joining mint eye #he thinks mc is stupid and easy but v entertaining #he asks her how much does she hate her life to willingly come w strangers to this strange isolated building #yoosung still portrays his good boy persona when he's out and about in order to get ppl into the cult #Saeran was the one who targeted MC first but Yoosung was the one who convinced her to join #i don't have hcs until i start typing in the tags LOL i could go on and on AHAHA #killamonart #art #fanart #mystic messenger #mysme #yoosung #yoosung kim #artists on tumblr

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tinyclowndancer · 6 months

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pspspsps porretta besties from the dark place who refused to bring this song to its end here's a little something for you. 🎙️

#it'll take a while until I finish the extended mix but of course I had to start from this part #you can tell the man have been practicing - Dynamite was amazing and so fun but sounded like he didn't sing for a while #and out of sudden had to film his performance in a rush because it was pretty chaotic back then - or maybe just wasn't for his range #now it's clear that he had time to work on his singing voice and feel more comfortable with the songs #plus it sounds like he had fun recording them - at least I hope so since everyone seemed genuinely happy to be back after 13 years #and istfg I can hear him singing the final chorus as well (liiiiight / niiiight / to the suuurfaaace) but I couldn't find the files #but I didn't find Door and OGOA vocals for it either so it's all probably mixed in a single file which is the one we heard in the cutscene #love him love his voice and I'm happy to have experienced this level (the entire game actually) blind #his performance was spectacular (the drowning video is still in my mind since my first playthrough but hey that's for another post)#anyway #someone give this man a Pixar villain to VO PLEASE #and that fucking bass btw I love it #Matthew Porretta #Old Gods of Asgard #Herald of Darkness #Alan Wake 2 #Remedy Entertainment #🎮#tinyclowntent #audio

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sweettsubaki · 4 months

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Me reading people's posts about the problematic aspects of MDZS: I mean for most of them it's the point. We're supposed to be uncomfortable with this. Except maybe those. They don't really bring anything narratively and them being there does make me uncomfortable.

Me reading people's posts about the problematic aspects of SVSSS: why are you complaining? Not only is it the point but it's also a consequence of what makes at least 50% of the story an absolute delight to read! We have the fucking world champion of the Straight(TM) Mental Gymnastics Olympics who also happens to be a guy who is very much not straightand he still does it even after he married a guy he loves more than anyone else! It's a train wreck so why are you complaining?!

I am not biased at all, I have no idea what you mean.

#Svsss #Mdzs #The untamed #MXTX #(haven't read hob/tgcf yet so I can't judge)#ironically you can't see it from this post but I think MDZS has a better written plot. Svsss's end feels more rushed but I somehow still #found it a more satisfying read #edit: read heaven's official blessing....It's the least problematic of her work and just xie lian trolling everybody else. v #very entertaining also but with a definitely different flair than mdzs and svsss

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inkfromalily · 1 month

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youtube

Let's goooooo

Summary:

- Not pay walling content anymore, just an early release on their site for subscribers

- Patreon subscribers get a free subscription

- They're sorry for p much, everything about the last video and how they handled it

#im a bit wary that this is just a delay like Netflix cracking down on password sharing #but for now at least it seems like they took the feedback they were given and have a better plan #honestly i think they could still do paywall stuff but it would need to start with new series and be done VERY slowly #watcher #watcher entertainment #steven lim #shane madej #ryan bergara #Youtube

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dapperrokyuu · 1 month

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I like to think the Alien Stage guards are just humans. Like, yeah, unsurprising maybe boring answer, but it just makes the most sense? We'll treat you the sliiightest bit better and wont parade and then kill you for our entertainment as long as you preserve our source of entertainment, ya know? In a way, regardless, the guards are still a part of Alien Stage(TM)...

#dee p thoughts #alien stage #alnst #vivinos #in trying to escape the stage you bind yourself to it...youre still entertaining nonetheless but your survival is at least (more) secured

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cactiaintracist · 6 months

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doctor who is where you get 3 extremely powerful man shaped beings fighting over the fate of the earth and possibly the universe by playing the fruitiest game of catch

also the guy who looses gets turned into an origami

#This was seconds after a high tech beam split one of them into two #And dude no 2 spent all this time without trousers #Not dissing it this is one of my favorite things about dw #still it was one of the best showdowns #Okay idk best but one of the most entertaining at least #Dw spoilers #Doctor who #60th anniversary #the giggle #the toymaker #14th doctor #15th doctor

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satans-knitwear · 1 year

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U cant hurt me, im wearing armour. 😎

Treat me ~ Tip me

#I have absolutely used a similar caption before but its very relevant. Again.#My mental is unhealthy rn!!!!! Pls excuse any unfortunate posting.#Lost my volunteering position bc im too unreliable and thats totally reasonable of them but wow it makes me not like myself lots!!!!!!#I cant rely on myself either so i really do see why they cant keep me on. But still!!!!! I need to go back to the gp again if its this bad #Anywhore. Lets find some fun lil reasons to live despite that. Plus I can be useful in other ways.#Sorry for my mini therapy session in the tags. I am not thriving.#Satans knitwear #At least this shoot i did with my various mando looks was entertaining #Alt pinup #Pinup girl #Mandalorian seduction techniques #Tassles #Pasties #Body chain #Thigh garters #thigh harness #Stockings and suspenders

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niyana-the-ambiguous-mobian · 3 months

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Just saw Kung fu Panda 4.

Well, it was certainly a movie…..

Action was good, music was a banger as always, voice acting was top notch, no surprise there.

That’s all I got positive wise.

#this felt Ike such a film that still needed some work around writing wise #Po felt like he had reverted to his previous character in KFP1 versus how he felt in the 3rd film #at least how that felt to me #and they way they introduce the plot point of him having to renounce his title of dragon warrior and choose a successor felt so sudden #Shifu just tells him ‘’you gotta become a spiritual leader and choose a successor for your previous title’’ JUST OUT OF THE BLUE #He said it was the next step in his journey when it didn’t feel like a natural step. it felt like he was rushing him because…we need a plot #Li and Ping being worried dads and spending time together was entertaining. I did enjoy those two #the chameleon was meh. Viola did a good job voicing her but that’s all I got for her #fucking Tai Lung showed up for like 10 fucking minutes #and half of that time was even him. it was the Chameleon as him #Again shouldn’t be surprised but I kinda wanted to see him more a bit y’know?#have him help Po in the final fight or whatever idk #but yeah film was honestly mid #kfp 4 #kfp4 #kfp4 spoilers #kung fu panda 4

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nostalgia-tblr · 5 months

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#😍#ncuti gatwa #fifteenth doctor #is he Fifteen? Ten-and-a-Bit was officially Fourteen right?#still have my reservations about rtd2 but it's at least more entertaining when not in repeat mode #dw

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lmanburs · 5 months

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Wilbur Soot has locked himself in his home and removed himself from the internet to become a fulltime WoW player so now I've become a Ben 10 blog I guess

#LIKE WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO #at least when lovejoy was doing shows and stuff i could spend my free time keeping up with that #but my winter class is done and i still have a few days before spring semester so i need to find some way to entertain myself #laurel.txt

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thelivingautomaton · 6 months

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alright, since the Remedy brainworms got me I've been replaying Control, got to the AWE expansion last night and picking up on all the echoes/foreshadowing for Alan Wake 2 is making me go utterly bonkers, but like. has anyone picked up on or talked about how in all of Alan's Hotline messages to Jesse, when he's writing about her POV, he exclusively calls her 'Faden'

like, maybe it didn't poke my brain the first time I played it since he does the same thing when talking about Hartman, but coming from AW2 it's pretty jarring as a stylistic oddity...almost like there's a reason (in-universe and/or out-of-universe) that he doesn't call her 'Jesse'...almost like there's only one Faden in his story...

and given how in AW2 we also get some (quasi-) clarification regarding the limits of Alan's ability to "make stuff up" vs alter and rewrite "real-world" events that he sees in clairvoyant flashes...given the Night Springs screenplay pages you can find in AWE that parallels the FBC and the events of Control (i.e. a Director and a Scientist opening a portal to another dimension, finding an eldritch Entity, the Director trying to take its power for himself and then getting taken over before shooting himself)...given how literally all of the "dreams" Dylan tells Jesse about are descriptions/viewings of stuff that takes place on one level of reality or another ("I was the director and you were an intern"; "we were in a game, and it was a fucking boring game but you couldn't stop playing it"; Mister Door, and "a world with a writer writing about a cop, and another world where the writer was real"; a "musical" about Jesse), except, seemingly, the dream about "Jesse Dylan Faden"...

guys. are you picking up what I'm putting down here. guys. GUYS

#alan wake #control #control remedy #remedy entertainment #remedyverse #anyway sorry but i for real am a jesse dylan faden truther now and forever #not in the sense that dylan isn't 'real' or isn't a person in his own right by now #but look. if you were a writer and trying to work out the inciting plot/backstory for your main character #who needs to have a driving reason to go back to the government agency that nearly captured her for study #or alternatively: you need a reason that said government agency is able to learn about the inciting backstory event from a direct witness #without actually successfully capturing the main character in question (since it's important that she instead comes to them when she does)#it would solve a lot of your problems if you just...split your protagonist into two different people. right?#like. are you seeing the vision!!!#also i gotta say. the Gender Of It All (TM) compels me #granted i doubt remedy will go in that direction -- and even if they do i think it'd be highly ambiguous/questionable at best #kind of like how max payne 1/2 raise the vague possibility that max went insane on valkyr and he's the one that killed his family #which is largely shot down but in a way that still leaves the answer at least a little bit shrouded in ambiguity #but you know. a girl can dream

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