#astra being a pathological people pleaser

[panic-like-the-disaster-you-are]

everything is so loud. my head hurts and i can't breathe.

#ramblings of a wet cat #astra being a pathological people pleaser

[panic-like-the-disaster-you-are]

I've been girl-rotting in my room for the past 17 years or so, I hate everything and everyone (except my mutuals ofc ily guys) and I'm just so so SO tired. all. the. time. I don't want to keep feeling like this. like it's getting more difficult to breathe everyday, wake up everyday, socialise everyday, and to say "I'm fine" every time. with every smile I keep faking, I feel my face burn from the inside. i can't keep being a people pleaser, i can't keep pretending like i give a fuck, i cant.

#ramblings of a wet cat #astra being a pathological people pleaser

[panic-like-the-disaster-you-are]

I'm so sick and tired of everything at this point, I just want to sleep and never wake up

#ramblings of a wet cat #tw sui ideation #astra being a pathological people pleaser

[panic-like-the-disaster-you-are]

my friend is running for the student council for next year and I was helping her make posters and sending them to people and i feel so useless and embarassed cuz I fumbled and sent them to too many people without asking her and I just want to melt into a puddle and perish rn

#ramblings of a wet cat #why do i even bother istg #i am an idiot #i should've minded my own business and let her do everything on her own its not like she needs ny help anyway 😭 #astra being a pathological people pleaser

[panic-like-the-disaster-you-are]

I'm just an 'extra' friend to everyone, aren't i? always getting left behind, always being forgotten, always being underappreciated, always made to feel left out. maybe I'm being dramatic, maybe it isn't like that, but it feels that way and i hate it. i hate always being the 'last resort' friend, the friend you can easily replace, the friend you talk to only when all your other friends are absent or busy, the friend you only approach when you need something specifically from me. I hate it. I'd rather we just not be friends than feel this way.

#ramblings of a wet cat #okay so. im gonna cry. I'm writing this here cuz I can't exactly tell the person who i really wanna say this to #so this is basically a vent letter <3 #also if she gets tumblr again ill probably have to deactivate and make a new account cuz i DONT want her to see these posts. ever. #astra being a pathological people pleaser

[panic-like-the-disaster-you-are]

i don't want to exist anymore :(

#ramblings of a wet cat #astra being a pathological people pleaser

[panic-like-the-disaster-you-are]

I feel like I'm lagging behind everyone in school, like they're all doing AP classes, coaching, extracurriculars and they're already so set in what they're doing with their life and all I do is go to school, come home, sleep, and repeat.

#ramblings of a wet cat #astra being a pathological people pleaser

[panic-like-the-disaster-you-are]

INTRO POST:

"it's been a long time coming, but it's you and me and that's my whole world"

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince

- Taylor Swift

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Hii,

I'm ASTRA, though that isn't my real name i prefer to use it for my online profiles, you can call me by any name you'd like tbh

My pronouns are he/him, I'm gayy and also demiromantic/aro (I'm not sure tho), minor (16)

Welcome to this disaster of a blog you've stumbled upon <3

I'm Indian, i love to paint a lot, i like to cook sometimes, i love love LOVE the rain, my MBTI is INFP-T, I'm a capricorn, my favourite colour is green 💚

I listen to a lot of Taylor Swift music and besides that some other music I listen to is; Conan Gray, Hozier, Suriel Hess, Niall Horan, Selena Gomez, Sabrina Carpenter, and Troye Sivan.

I'm an introvert and i hate social interaction, and i panic over stuff all the time <3

Proud member of the Sad Single Gays Club™ <3

My current pfp is choso from jjk :)

Some things I love with passion:

Heartstopper + anything Osemanverse

Taylor Swift (swifties>>>)

CATS (I WANT A CAT SO BADLY OMG)

stuffed toys (i have like 25+ and my mom probably hates me at this point)

and literally anything adorable and gay

I love spicy food, donuts and red velvet cake, but my favourite food will have to be momos (dumplings)

Some shows i love:

heartstopper (ofc), young royals, lost in space, she ra and the princesses of power, bridgerton (+queen charlotte), tales of arcadia, the good place, the dragon prince, stranger things

I've also watched a lot of anime and other shows but I I'm too lazy to mention more, so that's about it 😭

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I also write poetry and i post them all on medium, you can find them here:

http://astra-mythic-writes123.medium.com

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Tagging guide:

Cats: #kitty cats

Random thoughts from my mind:

#ramblings of a wet cat

#my gay dilemmas

#astra being a pathological people pleaser

Cool stuff: #omggg #save

Relatable things: #same

Osemanverse tags:

#nick and charlie my babies ilyy.

#tori spring roll

#sprolden shenanigans

Grishaverse: #six of crocs

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ALSO TO ALL MY MUTUALS, I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH AND I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE AN AMAZING DAY :))

(here's special appreciation for @nicknelsonblog ILYYY BESTIE:)

#intro post