#as someone who was a young carer (extremely different situation to be very clear) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sleepyducktime · 5 years

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Young Carer rant time

So like, I've been feeling a bit off emotionally lately and I know, this happens to everyone and we all have problems with our family. The thing is though I've been thinking and I never actually realized how many of my problems come with being a young carer. Or more specifically the situation that creates. (Disclaimer this is just my personal experiences as a carer in a UK city. I'm not claiming it's like this everywhere but hey, for all I know it might be.) ((This got quite long, just a heads up))

For anyone who doesn't know, a young carer is, as the name suggests, a young person who cares for someone - usually a family member such as a parent sibling or someone else close to them. This person does not have to be related, does not have to live in the same house, you do not have to be the only person looking after this person to be classed as a carer and whether or not you're a carer now, that can change with time. (There is, I'm sure, a difference between caring for someone often and when someone has, a cold for example, but I'm not an expert and I'm not gonna say who is and isn't a carer.) What I will say though is wow people do not talk about this do they?

For example: did you know that it's estimated 1 in 10 people in the uk are carers? And that the most common statistic used suggests that well over 700,000 of these carers are young people? And I don't mean young adults because that's a whole other group, I mean ages 5-21.

Now that we have the background, here's my actual post.

Hi! I'm a young carer from the uk! I'm one of the very lucky ones! I only had to miss school once or twice, I only really started doing a lot of caring when I was about 12 and I had other people who helped with the caring. That last one is the big one for me for the following reason.

I never considered myself a carer. It was only when my older sister started going to our local group when I was 14 that I had even heard the term. "I'm not a carer! I've seen them on TV, that's kids whose parents can't leave the house and need 24/7 care!". Now I'm not saying this doesn't happen, it's just the same as most things on TV, the extreme version. I eventually went along to this group and ho boy! The things I learned there!

In no particular order!

Caring does not have to be physical. It can be anything from helping someone bathe and dress, to making sure they take their meds, making sure they get to work or school on time or just caring for someone emotionally.

Caring for someone emotionally can often be the hardest part. Looking after someone so close to you and helping them through everything can cause a huge drain on your own energy.

Sometimes, you're caring and you don't even know it. I didn't realise until my late teens that not evey child has to push the trolley for their disabled parent and not everyone has to do all the (literal) heavy lifting because no one else physically can. Not everyone spends their lunch times with only their sister to make sure she leaves the house this week.

That some people might think badly of having to do the above. Because (and this is technically point 5) yes it is 100% ok to resent the situation of being a young carer. It is 100% ok to wish you weren't. But I haven't met a single person who wouldn't do it gladly or who would blame anything about it on the person they care for. The blame is always on a lack of support. (We'll get to that, that's the point I'm making)

That your caring situation can change. Sometimes people, or the situation get better or worse. Sometimes people move in and out of the situation entirely.

Having a support structure is key and can flip your entire life. I personally went to the local Young Carers group. I'm assuming each one is different but in mine we had;

Weekly meetings to chill, go out for food, do fun stuff you might not get a chance for otherwise and have two hours a week with other kids who understand your situation, without having to worry about home life. You could show up and leave whenever you liked no pressure.

Respite. Overnight trips out of the city to experience things you might not usually get. These could range from outdoor activities to spa weekends to a whole week out at sea.

A forum group. Led by the young people, to talk about things from what we want more in weekly groups to putting together speeches we give at parliament.

A support worker who you could talk to 1 on 1 about anything at all. They help with school life and talking to teachers when needed, getting a job, getting into uni, getting professional help with anything needed from mental health to financial support for just about anything. It's all 100% confidential and they do everything they can to help. When possible they will even offer to come along to things like first interviews or appointments and wait outside as moral support.

These are just the things off the top of my head, I'm sure I have loads more but I wasn't actually planning on writing this much!!

Back to the actual post! Most people, grow up, learn to do chores, complain about it and move out. Without other limitations (like money or controlling guardians to name a few) you can enjoy time out with friends, get all your school work done, get a part time job if you want and come home knowing you can rest. As a carer, if you have the time and opportunity to do that, you can spend up to your entire time thinking about what's happening at home. This isn't to say that every carer is always busy but it definitely happens. (I'm almost 19 and only just starting to look for a job because I literally didn't have the time. In a world where people start working at 16 and things like socialising and extracurriculars are so important, its pretty clear how this can be detrimental.) When all of that is done, there isn't a place to rest because home is where the rest of the work starts.

You can spend your entire childhood doing lots of the housework, cooking every meal, doing all the shopping, taking someone to appointments or just whenever they have somewhere to be. These things can add up. Sometimes its making sure they leave the house or take medication, and I've not even mentioned things like helping them get dressed, helping them bathe, making sure the bills are paid or, in some people's cases, acting like a literal parent for a sibling because no one else can. Being the only person who will listen to their physical and or mental issues. (And I would like to remind you here that the carers we are talking about are 5-21.)

When you do get time to yourself, often you just want to sit and do nothing (despite the fact that sometimes, you feel guilty for this.)

The problem is not just having to do all these things. The problem is not being able to talk about it. You can't talk to people in your house about your problems because you might be the one thing holding them together. You can't take a day off because everyone needs food and clean clothes and if you don't do it no one will. You can't talk to school friends about it because what if they don't understand or when you do the response is "oh well I make my own dinner as well it's not that bad". You can't tell any of this to the person you care for because what if they think you blame them? You have to think about whether or not you can go to college or move out because who is going to look after the people you love? And depending on the person or the task, you stop getting thanks, certain stuff is suddenly expected no matter what, and in some cases they might get angry at you for doing it (I know you don't want the curtains and window open but you haven't been outside in days). This is why I said I'm lucky. Not only did I have another person to split the work with, I also didn't start at an exceptionally young age.

Now this isn't meant to be a complaint about being a young carer. Many of the people I know have said it's made them even closer and I definitely agree!! This post is (yes we're finally at the point!! ADHD rambling over!) about the fact that we don't talk about it. I was a young carer to three people and I hadn't even heard of it? It was mentioned once in all my time at school on an A4 poster during carers week (the school didn't even realise one of their students was on the poster.) If I didn't have my group I likely would have dropped out of school, and become severely depressed. I would have missed out on so many different social and cultural activities, I wouldn't have a CV. And I have a relatively average caring job.

The thing is, they can only help so many people. Most young carers will have all these same issues at home, work, school and in their social life and they won't have any help at all. Even if there wasn't a limit on how many kids can join a project due to funds and resources, most young carers don't know about the help available.

Which is why we need to start talking about this more. We need to make it so carers aren't ashamed to tell people. So help is easier to come by and we won't miss out on basic childhood necessities. Because if the majority of carers still struggle a lot with support, we need to ask what's happening to the kids without it.

How can we do this you ask? Simple! Look into local Young Carers groups! Some accept donations (both money and things like books or toys) some do fundraising, just get involved! Check your local education places and youth centres! See if they can raise awareness with posters, talks, including it in lessons. If you don't have a local young carers group, find out why! It might be a lack of funding. Going to local councils and expressing the need for more education and funding can be very helpful when coming from these groups so imagine if other people were to help!

There are over 29,000 young carers in my country. (I'm also not even sure if this statistic includes anyone over 16). The carers projects only manage to help around 2400. That's a lot of children who need help. And a lot of people who need to start talking about it.

#young carers #youth groups #young carer #rant?#rant #kinda #uk #sharing our caring #i didn't even mean to write this much #it was just meant to be a little psa #that being said #i realised i had a lot of feelings #so next time they ask if anyone has anything to say #to convince them to give us funding next year #ima just give them this #long post

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noisypuppyavenue-blog · 6 years

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alpha male dynamics hair regain reviews

Someone discovered that I'm a fifty something male so every day my inbox fills up with news of miracle cures for low testosterone and erectile dysfunction. I also get emails about the health benefits of lemon juice, baking powder and apple cider vinegar for conditions from Alpha Male Dynamics arthritis to diabetes to indigestion. Some of these miracle cures are already in your kitchen, but the majority are potions concocted in a laboratory in Taiwan - and they are going to cost.

I should say at this point, that I am not a medical practitioner and the opinions I express here are based on a dose of common sense mixed with a dram of scepticism rather than on any expert knowledge or extensive research into medical issues.

When I open one of these emails, the typical pitch goes like this:

1. You can't trust the medical establishment - they're in cahoots with Big Pharma to make you ill and keep you ill - type 2 diabetes being the crowning example.

2. Most if not all prescription medicines have dreadful side effects, some of which are worse than the condition you started with.

3. Surgery is a drastic way to make your back/shoulder/knee pain worse.

4. There are various natural remedies Alpha Male Dynamics for almost every illness known to humanity, but because of pesticides, poor quality control etc you can't just get your medicine from the supermarket. You need supplements. And ours happen to be the best.

5. If we don't have a supplement to sell, we'll sell you a cookery book or a set of DVDs

The same applies to exercise. These health gurus are now telling us that everything we thought was true about exercise is false. Far from keeping you lithe and young, conventional "cardio" and "carb burning" exercise clogs your body with free radicals that accelerate the aging process. Ditch the running, cycling and gym classes and buy our miracle exercise programme: four extremely intense minutes a day and you'll have a physique to die for...

Some of the promises are clearly overblown and result in fairly swift use of the delete button. But the most effective messages are carefully crafted, with references to rigorously controlled trials published in respected medical journals and "case studies" of people like you and me with "before" and after "photos" to seal the deal.

The most pernicious aspect of these emails, though, is the claim that the medical establishment wants to keep you ill so they can make big bucks from your misfortune. Medical practitioners in the US, where almost all my emails originate, may have incentives - for billing purposes - to tell you you're really ill and you need a battery of medications, surgery, physio etc. though I doubt it. But the situation in the UK is very different Here, because of NHS funding and resourcing issues, medical practitioners have more incentive to ration treatment. For example, patients with long-term conditions such as diabetes or hypertension can claim free prescriptions, so what's in it for GPs in keeping patients drug-dependent for life? There is every incentive to minimise the use of surgery and other therapies because of long waiting lists. The NHS even has gate-keeping services to limit demand by offering telephone or online advice. The NHS certainly has no incentive in keeping you ill.

Similarly, because of lower food standards in the US, it might be difficult for many consumers there to access good quality food. That is not the case in the UK at the moment (though post-Brexit things may be different). Here food production and labelling standards mean that consumers can be confident that a pound of carrots will contain reasonable levels of whatever vitamins and minerals are associated with them.

Some gurus are out to sell the benefits of complementary therapies: reiki, reflexology, acupuncture. These may be helpful - or at worst harmless - for minor ailments or for pain relief for osteo-arthritis. However, the danger comes when they are peddled as cures for cancer and heart disease.

Other gurus alert you to the dangers of eating certain foods: "Never eat these five foods!" they scream. Wheat phobia is a fairly common one and seems to stem from the paleo community, who teach that farming is the worst human activity ever. The fear of wheat is now spreading to other grains that were still benign yesterday: oats, rye, barley. Rice and potatoes are also pure poison for the paleos.

Some gurus tell tales of remote Tibetan villages where everyone lives to be 150 because they use some mysterious herb in their tea. It's true that there are "blue zones" where a significant proportion of people live to a ripe old age and in fine fettle. However, all the research indicates that this is never due to a single factor but to a combination of factors such as genetics, diet and lifestyle. For example, remaining physically active and being part of a close community appear to be crucial. You can't replicate these factors in a bottle.

Some advice looks innocuous because there doesn't seem to be any selling going on. For example, drinking warm water, lemon juice and honey every morning. However, to get the "free report" on the miracle that is lemon juice you have to provide your email address, which is then sold to other snake oil sellers, so that like me, you're soon inundated with pseudo-medical advice.

Remember, most of these gurus have no formal medical training at all, and the minority who do have opted for a comfortable living as medical heretics.

When you see a claim for the benefits of taking magnesium or L-Arginine, check it out on a reputable website like WebMD. You will generally find:

1. The claims are overblown, i.e. there is little or no evidence that the herb, spice or mineral has any appreciable impact on serious conditions such as cancer, heart disease etc.

2. A clinical trial on a small group of patients showed some impact on a minor or rare condition - this is the "kernel of truth" that makes the claim defensible in case of litigation.

3. Overall though, the list of proven uses is much shorter than is claimed.

4. There are risks, for example, for pregnant women, the elderly or people using other medications.

If the sales blurb refers to clinical trials carried out at a university or research institute, check directly on the institution's website. Did such a trial take place, and if so, what were the results?

Similarly, check with your country's food and drug regulator. What advice are they giving about this miracle potion?

Always be wary of the snake oil seller's call to action, which usually rounds off a long and tedious email or video presentation:

1. A stark reminder that your condition is wrecking your life.

2. Orthodox treatments are dangerous or ineffective.

3. You have to take responsibility for your health because your doctors and their mates in Big Pharma don't give a damn about you.

4. The answer to your problems is available at a massive discount but you need to buy within the next 15 minutes.

5. Get your credit card ready.

Of course, if you don't buy the miracle cure there and then, you'll get reminder emails for several days afterwards saying the discount is still available for you alone because "we really care about your glaucoma/rheumatism/varicose veins etc."

When I get emails from the gurus, my approach is:

1. Never accept claims for miracle cures unless or until there is clear evidence to support such claims i.e. rigorous clinical trials conducted by a reputable institution such as a university.

2. Never use any supplements without checking that you really need them, and they work. Then check the ingredients and quality control. Read independent reviews wherever possible.

3. Be wary of paying for any diet or exercise programme until you have seen it in action: be sure that you can commit to it and that it will work for you - physically and mentally. Where possible read independent reviews before parting with any cash.

4. Avoid fads such as therapies, lifestyles or superfoods that have no proven efficacy.

In my family, our approach to health issues is:

1. Have regular check-ups with an orthodox medical practitioner. Increase the frequency as you get older or if you have a long-term condition.

2. Only take supplements if you really can't get the vitamins and minerals you need from your diet, such as Vitamin D in the winter, or if your doctor recommends it because of a medical condition or other issue.

3. Use complementary therapies where there is a proven medical benefit and/or where you feel some tangible benefit, such as pain relief, relaxation or de-stressing. Do not use these therapies instead of orthodox medicine, particularly for serious conditions such as cancer or heart disease.

4. If you want to follow a diet or eating plan, find one that suits your likes and life-style. If you want to lose or gain weight, or if you have a condition such as diabetes or coeliac disease, follow proven medical advice for your condition.

5. Follow an exercise plan that suits you, whether it be walking to the shops or running marathons. Exercise should be fun, so find an activity that you can enjoy and commit to. If you can afford it, find a personal trainer who can help you design an exercise programme that works for you and keeps you motivated.

6. If you don't want to eat healthily or do any exercise, be mindful of the potential consequences.

7. If you are a parent or carer, follow this approach for your child or the person you are caring for, as well as for yourself.

If you see an email offering you the elixir of eternal youth, applying a bit of common sense and scepticism could save you £s - and more importantly, do wonders for your health and well-being.

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