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argetcross · 1 month

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No one tells you this about writing a long fic, but you spend SO MUCH TIME getting distracted reading your own fic.

#arget rambles #it's terrible because i have like 50 disconnected fragments that take place in the future #and i read them and then i'm reading all of them and two hours pass

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argetcross · 6 months

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Me: pretty sure Gale is Greek, loves his mama, makes his own fish sauce and loves to cook, last name Dekarios...

Gf: time for a Big Fat Waterdeep Wedding

#arget rambles #bg3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #someone photoshop the poster with his head Please

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argetcross · 6 months

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(BG3 Act III Astarion Spoilers)

Have an Astarion Stays a Spawn but Leaves your Party AU:

After Astarion breaks the staff and screams "I hope you die screaming" and refuses to set any of the spawn free, he leaves and realizes... he has nowhere to go.

Sure, Cazador's dead, but he's still just a vampire spawn and now he doesn't even any friends or allies in the city. Half his shit is still at camp (he liked those clothes, damn it), he's alone and miserable and... there is something terribly hollow inside him.

He thinks at first because he's not really free. That power would have made him free, he could have been a vampire lord, and instead he remains this wretch... a wretch who ruined the lives of thousands of people, for 200 years and then in one last masterstroke, trapping them in Cazador's dungeon.

Fuck. Maybe they were right. Maybe he really is no better than Cazador.

No, he isn't going to entertain such a thought. It reminds him too much of... of what they might have said. And he can't get away, everywhere he turns in the city, this sun-dappled city, he remembers them. Even the bloody Gazette that he had giggled over editing with them is broadcasting their name nonstop. He has to get out of here, the Absolute be damned.

And yet, the minute he tries to flee Baldur's Gate, the minute he steps too far away from the artifact, he can feel the elder brain starting to bite at his awareness. That sends him into another wave of terror - was he shackled all along in this other way? These people who he thought he could trust, that lover who he had let his guard down around, were they also just another way to bind him?

He needs to kill them. He needs to take the artifact, Emperor be damned or whatever. So long as he's got this tadpole in his brain, he won't really be free. He's just going to become a slave again, just this time to the Absolute. He has to kill his former friends.

So why does that fill him with dread?

Astarion isn't good at planning. He's not good at the details. He just zeroes in on this new goal. He stalks his former friends - it's not hard, they're tearing up half the city and leaving trails of bodies behind them. They're subdued though. Half the time, he can't stand the sight of them, the other half, well... He's picking up on things, things he's angry about knowing- the limp Shadowheart has from their fight at Moonrise, the way Karlach's grown quiet, the strain in their voice.

Sometimes, he thinks they catch sight of him. He can feel their tadpoles, but they aren't pushing to find him, for all the blasted awareness it gives them. But they don't attack, even after he leaves several drained cultists bodies on the roof of the Elfsong or he steals back his things from the camp - no one even tries to stop him. The only thing he can't take is the Artifact. The godsdamn thing burns when he even touches it and that's when Lae'zel catches him, with a knowing look of someone who had tried something similar before.

Her threats are milquetoast. She says he should come back, that the seduction of individual power should have worn off by now, that it is the collective that can stand strong. He tries to bite her and gets thrown out the window for the trouble.

Bad End:

Gortash, Orin, whoever, catches up to him. He's not fast enough, not strong enough, and the Emperor's protection has long since worn thin.

When his former allies (friends, they were his friends, his mind tries to rebel, but the Elder Brain is too strong and he's just a godsdamned spawn) show up on the battlefield, it's almost a relief that they're the ones to stake him in the end. At least he can see them crying one last time.

Neutral End:

He comes back for the final fight. It's his fate, but he speaks to no one, cold and withdrawn. There's tension and hurt feelings, but he fights with the same familiarity and fluidity of months of near death experiences together. If he ever trusted you, it's nearly gone now.

After everything, he disappears into the darkness. You never see him again after that Sometimes you think you catch a sight of some pale hair in the corner of a dark alley. Sometimes missing posters come up of drained bodies, but they're small murderers, and criminals, and you wonder if you managed to do something for him in all that time together....

Or perhaps not and you're just hoping he doesn't paint a target on his back so large that your paths will be forced to cross.

Good End:

Even after the final battle, he comes back. He wants to talk. Well, he wants to rake you over the coals. When he finds out you're trying to save the spawn in the dungeon, to override Cazador's ancient magic, he jeers at you, at your savior complex, at how fruitless and worthless an endeavor it is.

You say, perhaps you're right. Perhaps they'll spit back in your face. Perhaps it'll all backfire on you. But it doesn't matter. You have to do it.

"Why?" he sniffs, dismissive.

"Because I couldn't do anything for you in the end. I'm sorry."

The years pass. Sometimes your paths cross, out in the city. Gale works out the enchantments and the spawn are freed out to the Underdark - rumor is that some pale-haired elf was corralling them at the beginning. You hope he got to see Sebastian once more.

Things stay prickly, but you start to see more of him. Sometimes the Hero of Baldur's Gate needs to be bailed out, just a little. Sometimes he shows up half-dead and he barely will stay put long enough to heal before disappearing again.

Once, you go out and get drunk together for old times sake. He looks a little worse for wear- not enough cultists to eat, these days. He admits he doesn't know what he's doing these days. That, strangely enough, he's come to the realization he really is free, as free as vampire spawn can be these days, in this city you protected together, but he never though of what comes after that.

You offer that tired old olive branch and he bats it aside with familiar callousness.

And yet, the next morning, you wake up lightheaded from bloodloss, a familiar soreness on your neck, still breathing.

#bg3 spoilers #bg3 #astarion #spoilers #arget rambles #hello this ending makes me insane so i elaborated #it was a very powerful character moment #but also made me go well fuck he's running to his death now #also this is as good a good end you're going to get #it doesn't matter if he realizes you were right in the end #the sense of betrayal feels too deep #if he lives long enough maybe he'll be able to find himself #but we'll see

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argetcross · 2 months

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Thinking about how Astarion would be a great hunter/butcher's companion... Like you have to bleed the meat of animals anyway before it's human edible, so why not avoid waste and give it to him? Just don't suck down all the liquid and moisture in the carcass, my dude. You don't need to drink the cellular water out of the muscle fibers or, god forbid, eat the raw fat. Leave some of that in for the steak not to taste like leather.

#arget rambles #bg3 #astarion #my food science brain is going haywire #like he clearly doesn't need to be desiccating the animal #this vampire is just someone who never had anyone to plan around his dietary needs in a sustainable manner #and god damn it #im gonna come up with the fucking menu #why was the boar desiccated if he just drinks blood?#WERE YOU DEHYDRATED AND YOU SUCKED THE JUICES OUT EVEN THO IT'S NOT A REAL FOOD SOURCE FOR YOU ASTARION???#alternatively if vampires do need to eat cellular fluid #what makes that different than water?#can he just sip on fucking iv bags????

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argetcross · 1 year

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Not normally a theory guy, but I would bet maybe 10 bucks that Hades 2 has Kronos making a timeloop (thus supporting the roguelike game structure) and distorting the time flow so that a) attempts to rescue Hades by other parties have been failing and b) other people are also trapped in groundhog day style.

#arget rambles #hades game #i will say i am not the biggest fan of timeloops #so some part of me hopes to be proven wrong #but like #id be surprised if they didnt use this obvious ploy

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argetcross · 4 months

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Saw my favorite statue (the Nike of Samothrace) again after ten years!

#arget rambles #winged nike of samothrace #ancient greek art #art history

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argetcross · 10 days

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I'm so fucking mad right now, I have three more hours of meetings and Hades II gameplay is streaming and I feel like I'm in hell-

#arget rambles #dont tell me fucking anything #i dont want to hear it secondhand #the excitement quickly turned into anger because i have been in meetings since 8 am #not anyone's fault still excited for this game #but i feel like fucking awful #SCREAMS

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argetcross · 25 days

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I'm dreaming of commissioning an artist for a specific scene in my fic, but I also am wondering if it's too evil to make someone draw like ten horses and also backgrounds.

#arget rambles #back in 2021 when i was full of pandemic loneliness #i was like it'l be fine i'll draw all these thumbnails and locations one day #now it is 2024 and i am like FREE TIME GOES TO WRITING #NO TIME TO RENDER HORSES ANYMORE #sad times ;_;#this is absolutely permission for you to send me artists' commission info

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argetcross · 2 months

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I've been working on wasting beats for over three years now and every time I go back to re-read, it's a toss-up if I'll go "god, agh, yergh [insert low self-esteem noises]" or "Oh this actually slaps? This is great? What the heck how did I do this?". Sometimes these happen back to back in the same day. This often also depends on how much food I've eaten.

In essence, what I've learned is that the inner critic is deeply flawed and confused and really the best thing for feeling low is, unfortunately, to keep writing. Time will take care of the rest.

#arget rambles #the biggest lesson has really been how to engage and disengage #move between parts to keep putting stuff down #and clearing your head #having distinct phases of writing and reviewing and editing #time and keeping yourself healthy will take care of the rest #because you will solve something eventually as long as you keep eating and breathing and taking walks #three years! i think the only thing i've ever committed to for this long is school and my relationship #i'm a little sad i never did a third anniversary post for the story but sometimes it's more important to save the energy to write

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argetcross · 3 months

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I've had tension headaches all day and it fucking sucks. Anyone have any recommendations for stopping them? Pain relievers aren't working.

#arget rambles

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argetcross · 1 month

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My girlfriend is getting pissed that this fic that takes place in the early 90s has people using data on their cell phones, searching on Google, and using social media. 🤣🤣🤣

#arget rambles #i think people have forgotten what the 90s were like #kids should be calling each other on landlines and looking in almanacs at best djdjjrkdkd

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argetcross · 5 months

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I feel like there's a quote that's rattling through my brain, but I cannot remember where it's from:

"You saved me, and then, I saved you. And then, together, we saved each other."

Does anyone know where it's from?

#arget rambles

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argetcross · 3 months

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The architecture degree and archaeology training coming in handy as I try to create plans and elevations of long lost buildings and ruins today.