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izupie · 4 years

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Hey lol I was just looking through the izuocha tag, and just saw your "Ochako's Fanfic" fic. I wanted to suggest another oneshot lol what if Izuku found it? xD

Anon I like the way you think.... (you can’t see me but I’m winking) I’m actually quite free this morning and I am more than happy to respond to this with something for you - hopefully you like it! (just so you know I’m winking again)

Thanks so much for taking an interest in my story! And for coming to me with a request to continue it!

Continued from this story and this story ~

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Only when his foot had gone completely numb did Izuku finally stand up. Ochako had excused herself for a ‘few minutes’ to get them some snacks from the kitchen, but it had been a while now and she still hadn’t returned.

He winced as he hopped on his dead foot, trying to get the circulation back into it - a consequence from him sitting stiff-legged on the floor for so long. Their study sessions would be much more comfortable if he had a chair too, but he was a gentleman, and this was her room, so he would always offer the single chair she owned to her, even though they argued about it every time. He’d always take the floor for her.

Painful prickles flared into his foot as feeling began to return to it and he paced around the room as a distraction, pushing down the odd guilt lurking in the back of his mind.

Whenever she left him alone in her dorm room it always made him feel slightly uncomfortable. Out of place almost. It was a feeling that itched underneath his skin, but never seemed to bother him when she was in there too. He supposed it was because he was much more aware that this was her bedroom when it was just him in there. It felt intrusive almost. Private. Intimate.

(Izuku shook his head at the weird way his stomach flipped at that word.)

He usually just sat in one place until she came back, as if him looking around at the room was an invasion of her privacy, even though she was the one who had invited him in in the first place. As if without her there he had no right to be looking around at her stuff.

But driven by his painful foot he slowly limped laps of her room, and he finally let himself take it all in.

It was plain.

Izuku scrunched his nose at the sour taste that thought left in his mouth.

Practical was a better way to describe it, he decided.

What else did a person need in a bedroom except somewhere to sleep, somewhere to eat and work, a bit of storage, and somewhere to hang the washing? He appreciated the green accents of her bed quilt and rug too, since it was his favourite colour, but he’d always assumed Ochako’s favourite colour was pink... The only extravagance in the whole room seemed to be the television. Which was a borderline necessity these days. Watching pro-heroes on live tv was still one of his favourite pastimes, and yet he was here in this school where some of his pro-hero idols actually taught him. He supposed the excitement of a hero fan never faded, even when he was living his dream.

Izuku ran his foot gently over the edge of Ochako’s thin rug, satisfied that the numbness and pain had faded completely, and he was just about to return to his spot on the floor when a stack of papers on her desk caught his eye.

He immediately tore his gaze away, his guilt increasing at feeling curious about her private stuff. But, as if on a camera shutter delay, his mind caught up to his eyes and processed the words he’d seen ever so briefly on the paper before he’d turned. He was sure it had said ‘A Summary of Escapes’ on it, but wasn’t that the paper they’d handed in to Mr Aizawa recently? What was it still doing in her room?

Izuku remembered Ochako having to have a chat with their teacher after class that day, but when he’d asked her what it had been about, she’d sheepishly dodged the question, so he hadn’t asked again.

He let himself look back at the stack of papers and realised the title wasn’t quite what he had thought. It was actually titled, ‘A Summer Escape’, and before he’d thought anything else of it, he couldn’t stop his eyes from wondering further down the page.

‘The two heroes are so glad of their summer escape together alone. The brunette smiles happily at her green haired companion as they enter the pretty log cabin, but they are surprised to find that it only contains one bed.’

Izuku’s eyebrows rose as he realised it was a story. Did Ochako write this? He knew he should stop reading, it was probably private, but as he turned away, he thought he caught his own name further down the page and he was drawn back.

‘Izuru scratches a hand on the back of his neck and gestures to the living room they just came from. “I’ll sleep on the couch,” he says shyly.’

Oh, maybe it wasn’t his name after all. But now he can’t stop reading.

‘Michako bites her lip and shakes her head. “But it can get so cold in these cabins late at night, even in the summer. There’s enough room for both of us, I’ve shared a bed with my friends loads of times – we’ll fit fine.” The brunette lets out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding when her companion nods with a blush that stains his freckled cheeks red.

“I-I guess. U-Um, only if you’re sure.” Izuru fidgets with his sleeve.

She’s always wanted to tell him how endearing she finds his kindness and sincerity, even though he’s the best hero in the whole wide world, but she’s worried that it will come out far too fond and affectionate and he’ll be able to tell just how she feels about him.

She doesn’t want to do anything that might ruin their friendship.

It would be so much easier if she could tell him how much she admires him and how much she treasures the time they spend together, but she’s scared – more scared than any villain could ever make her.

So, Michako grins as wide as she can, pushes down her feelings, takes a deep breath through her nose and punches his shoulder lightly. “‘Course! We’re best friends, aren’t we?”

She always pushes her feelings down.

She can’t tell him she loves him.

Maybe sharing a bed with him is a bad idea but’-

The handle to Ochako’s door clunked down with a sound that made Izuku spring away from the desk so quickly that he tripped over his own feet and nearly stumbled to the ground.

“Sorry, Izuku, it was a warzone when I got in there. I think Iida’s one food fight away from just banning Kaminari from the kitchen altogether,” Ochako giggled into her hand, “so I tried to help keep the peace and time ran away with me, and I didn’t even manage to get the snacks… are you okay?”

Izuku could barely hear her over the thundering of his heart.

‘She doesn’t want to do anything that might ruin their friendship.’

Why was that line resonating with him? There was a feeling pounding through his chest, matching the beating of his heart, that made him feel like he should be doubled over with the weight of it. He reached a hand up and gripped at his shirt.

‘She always pushes her feelings down.’

Ochako’s wide eyes shined with concern, her eyebrows tilted, and her pretty pink lips were pulled into a frown. “Izuku? I’m sorry I took so long.”

Izuku dragged his eyes up from her lips and shook his head wildly, hands flapping up by his face. “N-No, don’t worry! It’s not that, it’s just- I- um…”

She tilted her head.

“I need to go. Yeah. I, um, I forgot a thing that I need to do. Sh-shower or something. Yeah… Showering! In the, um… the…”

‘She can’t tell him she loves him.’

“In the… bathroom?” Ochako supplied, while everything about her still radiated concern. Izuku thought maybe he could hear a note of hurt in her voice.

“Yes!” he squeaked. He cleared his throat. “Honestly, I only just remembered that I should have had one before I came to study with you, because classes were intense today and I already had a shower this morning but I definitely need another one- not that I smell or anything! I mean- I forgot that I’d planned to have one anyway after school, but like I said, I forgot about it and then while you were gone the memory came back,” he rambled. “So, I waited for you so you so I could explain where I was going.” Izuku took a deep steadying breath. “But… I could come back and we could study later?”

Later being when he’s pulled himself together; slowed the train wreck of his pulse, put the filter back between his brain and his mouth, sorted out the fluttering in his stomach, wiped the sweat from his forehead (why was he sweating?) and generally remembered how to be a functioning teenager again.

The hurt and concern eased out of Ochako’s expression and a smile formed on her face instead as she nodded, oblivious to the internal crisis Izuku was having. “I’d like that. I could go help clean the kitchen some more while you’re gone, and then hopefully by the time you’re back I’ll have the snacks.”

“S-Sounds great. I’m going to go have that shower then.” (He really was.) Izuku walked backwards towards her door and leant heavily on the handle. “See you later Michako- uh! I-I mean, Ochako!” he threw over his shoulder as he practically fled out of the room.

Ochako blinked. “Did he just… call me Michako?”

#I really hope you like it!!#izuocha #I was supposed to be working on other projects today but this inspired me and I just had to get it down #my fanfiction #izu replies #long post #fanfiction #bnha #dekuraka #izuocha fanfiction

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in-paradox-space · 7 years

Text

So my friend knows somebody who knows somebody that works at a pharmacy.

They said they can get prescription medicines like morphine pills for a price.

I’m going to do it. Transcending codeine and moving on to pure morphine.

I’ll probably be on heroin in two years, yolo!

I wanted to buy promethazine/codeine cough syrup but they said they have nothing like that. I’m not even sure if the prometh/co mix is even a thing in the UK.

I’m gonna buy the morphine pills.

Codeine is basically morphine but to a tenth of the power.

’m gonna get a supply of codeine syrup (probably online) and mix it with some prometh and codeine pills I source from online pharmacies. I might mix it with grape soda or something.

I’m going to make my own brand of lean and sell it in the UK. Nobody here sells it and I swear, if I let people try it they will pay to feel it again.

It’s easy to source it at this point, but not everybody has the knowledge I have. People here are still doing CWE or just risking overdose on pain pills like cocodamol.

They’ll probably try to source the shit themselves but they’ll give in.

They’ll just buy it from me.

idrk how im gonna do this

i dont think im going to get rich from this but I’ll probably break even.

If not, I’ll feel cool because I have lean anyway.

I’m trying to stop for like a week, hopefully two, to reset my tolerance.

it’s been like 2 days I guess but not really

I’ve cut down

I’m not physically dependent but little things, mentions of opiates, painkillers, pleasure, fame or achievement make me think of it.

I want to get high.

I don’t crave it. I can type this, knowing there’s enough codeine next to me to sweep me off my feet, knowing I’m not going to take it tonight and feel alright.

I need a friend to hold onto my stash while I detox.

It’s not really useful if I can access it this easy.

If I give it to my friend who knows about this shit he’ll probably take them himself or OD. I don’t want him to get into any more drugs or try to kill himself.

My main friend doesn’t know much about this.

I’ve loosely spoke to him about it long ago but we’ve never spoke about it.

we’ve spoke about caffeine addiction but thats not seen as a narcotic.

It’s not as shameful to talk about.

everybody drinks coke.

nobody thinks anything about it.

I’m sure it will be illegal one day.

i dont want to give it to family.

i dont have a lot of options

and i dont want to part with them

I have like 100-200 pills. I should buy more but I’m pretty low on cash.

I need to pay rent, travel, buy clothes, a new phone and pay for my education.

Speaking of education.

I’m pretty, idk the word,

my ego feels shame

I bigged myself up so much

I was stupid to get into this.

College isn’t me. It’s so far away from my authentic self.

I’m really, really considering dropping out.

I haven’t made the first trimester or finished the first project.

It just really, really isn’t me.

The point was always to make cash but I lost the flame that got me onto the course.

I’ll make cash from my long term backup plan.

I’m retaking my GCSES online, so I can take my A-Levels next year. Then probably more GCSEs.

Even if I don’t choose my current backup plan at that point, I’ll have more options if I choose to sell out again.

so yeah, I feel pretty guilty, ashamed, other shitty feelings.

Sort of awkward and embarrassed. Everybody said I’d stop going and I’d drop out.

They was right and they’re pretty dumb about a lot of things, but the fact they was right about this will validate the stupid sides of them. If you understand what I’m saying.

It’s 2am, so I’m sort of just typing without correcting.

I guess living in the moment

being happy is important

I’m alive

If I live longer than I thought I would I have time

even if i dont achieve anything

I’ll enjoy a lot of my life

and I’ll die

new people will continuously be born into this world

they will have joy and achievement

I accept this

Happiness was always more important.

Drugs are my escape

drugs are instant gratification

they’re not happiness, but wanting to be happy leads me to them

I’m proud to say I haven’t done MDMA since that really shit comedown last time though

the brain zaps and super low feelings.

I don’t want to do it again.

I might do it again though, when I visit some friends in Europe with my other druggy friend

he’s not really a druggy but that’s the only context I’ve ever mentioned him in here

that’s how a lot of people see him

that’s not him though.

he has a lot of other interests, talents and knowledge

he doesn’t have a lot of options right now so he just lives in the moment when he can

but hes trying to get out of it

he’s definitely making an effort

the people around him aren’t

I appreciate that about him

he’s not giving up.

he’s spending longer amounts of time clean each time he tries again

he’s still dependent on weed but he can survive days without it

his main problem is honestly environment or the people around him

his girlfriend is just

dramatic

shes a cunt and starts things for her own sake

I tell him, she is a thot, he’s like nah bro i love her though

love is an illusion

its just chemicals

he knows this deep down

the more of a cunt she is, the sooner he will eventually cut himself off from her

I think it’s coming soon

maybe he can help me sell the lean

I hope I keep at trying to sell lean

I get so motivated and driven to finish projects

i get so deep and so close to getting somewhere

then a few months later i lose all interest

just like i did with photography and college

then i move onto something else exciting, which could honestly be my break

like selling lean

then i repeat the cycle

thats why i call myself consistently inconsistent

i wish i could stick at this shit

ive noticed a plethora of patterns in my lifestyle

every year I repeat the story

redeciding what matters to me

i know it all to be true

nothing to be false

everything to be possible

every feeling is a choice.

so yeah uh

drugs fam

theyre bad

but i like them

i also need cash

if u need drugs just hmu fam i can source u anything

if youre a cop be warned I’ll show u a time so good you’ll have to quit your job

#personal #drugs #opiates #long text post #lean

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