#anyway was discussing more specific stuff re my kid with my dad and the shared assumptions within this family unit. are not widely shared! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

marksburyscripts · 3 years

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Season 1, Episode 1-- A Difficult Patient

Google Doc

Content Warnings: -Alcohol abuse -Discussion of intent to commit sexual assault

[Pre-episode announcement]

Hey, everyone! Before we begin, I just wanna give a quick heads-up. The Marksbury Incident will have some recurring themes that may be uncomfortable for some listeners, including depression, anxiety, survivor’s guilt, and murder, including that of a child. There will also be episode-specific content warnings in the descriptions of each episode. As excited as we are to share this story with the world, our main priority is always going to be the health and safety of everyone involved. But for now, take care of yourselves, and enjoy!

[Therapist’s office. Day. The recording begins, and there are a few seconds of awkward silence.]

NARRATOR

This is stupid.

THERAPIST

You haven’t even started yet.

NARRATOR

What’s the point? How is this any different than what we usually do?

THERAPIST

I told you. Being able to go back and re-listen to sessions could be helpful. Maybe give you reminders about what we wanted to work on.

[Narrator scoffs.]

THERAPIST (Cont.)

If you have a better suggestion, I’d love to hear it. [He sighs] Look. If you don’t start working with me, I’m going to have to report it. I’ve been telling them that your post traumatic stress has been making progress slow, but it’s only a matter of time before they decide that it’s non-compliance. Not everyone gets this chance. Please. Don’t throw it away.

NARRATOR

...Fine. Fine, okay.

THERAPIST

We’ll just record this one for now and we’ll go from there. It might be a bit awkward at first, but it could help.

NARRATOR

...Do you think they made the right decision? I mean, with what happened…. It’s not like it was a misdemeanor.

THERAPIST

I think that they saw you the way that I do. A good person who made a mistake. You know better than anyone what kind of state you were in afterwards. And I think they realized that there wasn’t any real malicious intent.

NARRATOR

...Right.

THERAPIST

So you’ll cooperate?

NARRATOR

Yeah. Fine.

THERAPIST

Good. So you said last week you were going to go through your mother’s things?

NARRATOR

Yeah. I managed to do it.

THERAPIST

That’s good. How did it go?

NARRATOR

Okay I guess? Dad kept a lot more than I expected. I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of much, but… some of the less sentimental things. Clothes, mostly. Things she never wore much. And… turns out she kept a lot of the drawings I did as a kid in a box under her bed, too. I saved a couple, but most of them I threw out. Then an old journal or diary or something that was in some weird mix of Italian and Gaelic, and a couple of pictures.

THERAPIST

Were the pictures of her?

NARRATOR

Yeah, mostly. There were some of her friend, too. Lauren, I think her name was? Laura? Mom would tell me about her sometimes. Here, I, um… I brought one.

[The Narrator unzips his bag and retrieves the picture]

THERAPIST

Why’s it ripped?

NARRATOR

I don’t know. That’s just how I found it. There were a lot that were ripped, actually…. I-- I imagine it’s the result of a bad breakup or something.

THERAPIST

Makes sense. You were okay, though?

NARRATOR

I mean, I had to take a few breaks during it. I think it took… four hours to go through the three boxes?

THERAPIST

No shame in that.

NARRATOR

I did have a bit of a breakdown after, though. But… nothing new there, I guess.

THERAPIST

When that happens, what do you do to calm down?

NARRATOR

Depends. On good days I grab a book and try to focus on that.

THERAPIST

And what about the bad days?

NARRATOR

...Cheap whiskey and cigarettes. But I’ve been trying to quit.

THERAPIST

And after going through the boxes, was that a good day or a bad day?

NARRATOR

Somewhere in the middle, I guess? I promised myself I wouldn’t drink, so I went for a walk.

THERAPIST

That’s good. That’s very good.

NARRATOR

...Yeah.

THERAPIST

...You don’t sound so sure about that.

NARRATOR

No, it’s…. It’s fine. It was good, it got my mind off of it.

THERAPIST

...Did something happen on your walk?

NARRATOR

Nothing you want to hear about.

THERAPIST

Try me.

NARRATOR

...You’re going to think I’m crazy.

THERAPIST

I’m a psychologist. Once again, try me.

NARRATOR

[He takes a deep breath] ...It was… maybe two in the morning? I-- I think that’s about right, I lost track around 12:30. I'd spent pretty much my whole day putting off going through the stuff, then the rest of the night either actually doing it or calming myself down. Mostly the latter. Then I kept running into some of my dad's things, as well, so that kept hitting me, too. I guess Evelynn missed some things when she was cleaning it all out. Or maybe she thought I would want some of it? I don't know. Anyway, I'm getting distracted. I was walking past this bar a few streets over from my house. It’s not the most high-brow place in the world, so I made sure to cross the street before I got there. Never know what people will do when they're not thinking straight. Especially since… you know, I'm not exactly the most masculine or threatening person in the world. So I kept a safe distance. Nothing looked suspicious. I could see that the TVs inside had been switched off, so it must have been past last-call. Then I noticed. There was a woman leaning against the wall, doubled over. She had her hands in her pockets, and she was wearing this… deep red hoodie, with her hair hanging loose, covering her face. Even from so far away, I could tell that it was slick with grease, or… something. It was reflecting the streetlights. I think that’s what made me notice her, actually. The glint caught my eye.

NARRATOR (Cont.)

I wasn't about to judge, you never know someone's circumstances. I’ve certainly been in worse condition. I actually considered crossing the street to offer her what change I had in my pocket, but I didn't want to assume she was homeless and end up being wrong. Besides, nothing weird about someone hanging out outside of a bar as it was closing. Maybe she was waiting for a ride home, or getting her bearings before she started walking. Then… two men came out of the bar. They were drunk enough that I could tell neither would remember a thing in the morning, and the taller of the two was laughing and practically hanging off of his friend. He saw the woman and they both fell quiet as they... looked at each other. I could tell what they were thinking. It doesn't take a genius to piece it together. I think that was when I stopped walking. I watched as the taller one went over to the woman, and I couldn't tell what he was saying, but… I had a pretty good guess. She didn't move, but he kept at it, he wouldn’t give it up. I think it lasted two minutes total. He kept getting more and more aggravated, and I was about to yell over that I was going to call the cops. He reached his hand out like he was going to grab her, but he just… he just stopped. His eyes went wide for a moment, and even from that distance, I could see his terror. Looking back, I think he was probably dead before he hit the ground. His friend ran over to him, he was… screaming. Nothing coherent, he was much too drunk for that. Intoxicated on both alcohol and the fear. And even with everything that was going on, with all that noise? Not a single person came to make sure that he was okay. There was no way that no one heard. They just didn't care. You know, I never understood the phrase "Sent a chill down my spine". But… turns out it feels more literal than I imagined. I-- I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what I could do. So I just stood there as his screams were cut off by the sound of him choking as he clutched his throat, desperate for air, eyes locked onto her and pleading for mercy. And once he finally went quiet, then the woman finally began to move.

NARRATOR (Cont.)

She looked up at me. Slow, and I was certain that she'd known I'd been watching the whole time, and was anticipating my response. But her movements were jerky, like she had to force every joint to bend or twist. And I heard a voice. Her voice. I-- I don’t know how I know, but there's no doubt in my mind. Even though she was still across the street, it sounded like she was whispering, rasping in my ear with lungs that hadn’t been used in at least a decade. She said my name. And for some reason, hearing that made me certain that I was going to die. I ran, I locked myself in my house the moment I got home. Every step of the way, I knew she was behind me, I could hear her voice, I could feel her just… there. A couple times, I looked back. I never saw her walk, but she was always the same distance behind me. After I got home, it took me an hour before I finally started to calm down. I thought it was over. But just as I was regaining my composure, there it was again. My name, hardly an inch from my ear. I hated myself for it, but I forced myself to look out the window, and there she was. Just staring at me.

THERAPIST

Did you call the police?

NARRATOR

A-- And tell them what? That there was a person looking at my house? And that two guys had dropped dead just by talking to her? I’m sure they would take that well. Especially from me, the local convicted felon.

THERAPIST

So what did you do?

NARRATOR

I just… sat in my bedroom, in the dark, away from the windows. Like a child. [Laughs] I kept hearing her voice, so I knew that she was still out there even when the sun started to come up. Eventually, I ended up getting the nerve to look again. She had stood there, in the same spot, all night. Just watching. I’ll admit I kinda lost it at that point. I don’t know what I was planning on happening. But I was so freaked out, I-- I didn’t think. I went outside and grabbed a rock out of the garden, and I shouted at her to tell me what she wanted, to leave me alone. If I woke up any of the neighbors, they didn’t say anything. I threw the rock, and-- and I want you to know that I didn’t mean to hit her. I just wanted to scare her off or something. But it did hit her. Right in the chest, around the Xiphoid Process. And she… She crumpled. I mean that literally. It hit the hoodie, but it didn’t hit a person. The moment it made contact, all of her clothes fell to the ground, and I realized that there was nothing inside them.

THERAPIST

So… like a ghost?

NARRATOR

No. No, I don’t believe in ghosts. I think there’s something after death, something that gives people awareness, personality, life-- [He cuts off, takes a breath] ...But no, not ghosts. I don’t know what it was. But the clothes were gone when I looked out an hour later. [Beat.] So. Believe me?

THERAPIST

...I did read that there were two men found dead outside of a bar. One from a brain hemorrhage and the other asphyxiation.

NARRATOR

But I suppose you think that’s a coincidence.

THERAPIST

...I think it’s... interesting. I think the figure you’re describing could potentially be a manifestation of your internalized guilt over the deaths of--

NARRATOR

Yeah, see? You think it was a hallucination.

THERAPIST

I’m just saying, you did have similar experiences while you were in the hospital.

NARRATOR

That was different! Believe me, I know how it sounds, I’m not an idiot. Would you say the same thing to someone who walked in here saying they saw a vision of Jesus?

THERAPIST

That’s--

NARRATOR

[Bitterly] Different?

THERAPIST

A religious belief. You’ve told me yourself you aren’t religious.

NARRATOR

...Okay, fine. But you can understand where I’m coming from.

THERAPIST

I suppose. I just have to entertain every possibility. Preferably the scientific ones. Henry is studying psychology, right?

NARRATOR [Softly]

...Please don’t.

THERAPIST

Right, sorry. I’m just saying, you have to know that if I just accepted every instance of ghosts or unexplainable events as true, I would be out of a job. I’m sure he’d tell you the same thing. [Beat.] How’s he doing?

NARRATOR [He scoffs]

Seriously?

THERAPIST

You know what I mean. Has there been any progress?

NARRATOR

Not at all.

THERAPIST

You still visiting him?

NARRATOR

Every day.

THERAPIST

What do you do when you’re there?

NARRATOR

Talk, mostly. Sometimes I end up falling asleep.

THERAPIST

You know, not many people would have that much dedication. He’s lucky to have a friend like you.

NARRATOR

...Yeah. Really lucky.

THERAPIST

You don’t agree?

NARRATOR

It’s… complicated. I don’t think…. [He trails off, steadying himself] Sorry.

THERAPIST

No, it’s okay. You’ve opened up a lot today.

NARRATOR

The threat of prison will do that to a person.

THERAPIST

Maybe so. But we’ve been at this since March, and I still feel like I hardly know you. The therapists you went to before me all said the same thing; That you had trouble before, and that ever since you lost your brother, things have only gotten worse. I still think it would be good if you talked to your sister.

NARRATOR

Not gonna happen.

THERAPIST

You both have been through a lot, you’re the only family she has left.

NARRATOR

And yet, she’s made it very clear that she wants nothing to do with me. So forgive me if I’m not jumping at the idea.

THERAPIST

It couldn’t hurt to try.

NARRATOR

You don’t know Evelynn. It very well could. I can’t tell you the amount of times we wrestled as kids, and I never won a single time. [A small laugh] But no, in all seriousness, I don't think that's a good idea. I mean, she cleared out pretty much all of our father's things when I was… you know.

THERAPIST

Recovering.

NARRATOR

Recovering, sure. Whatever you wanna call it. I thought that at the very least, losing him would help close the gap between us. But then… I don't know why I thought that, she didn't even look at me at Billy's funeral, I-- [His voice falters, and his breath shakes] I-- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I can't--

THERAPIST

No, it's okay. We're still working on it. That's more than you usually feel comfortable with. Do you think the recording helped?

NARRATOR

A little? I still couldn't talk about anything important, though.

THERAPIST

How about this? We'll record sessions every so often, not every week. And for homework, you can record at home. About whatever you feel like. Be it what happened, or even just about your day. Maybe saying it out loud without anyone around will help you eventually talk about it here so we can work on it.

NARRATOR

...Do I have a choice?

THERAPIST [Smug, but kind]

Not really.

NARRATOR

And here I was thinking therapists were supposed to help people stop talking to themselves.

THERAPIST

I'll see you next week, okay?

NARRATOR

Right, yeah.

[The door opens]

THERAPIST

Oh, and before you go?

NARRATOR

Hmm?

THERAPIST

I'm really proud of you.

NARRATOR

...Right.

[The door shuts]

NEXT EPISODE➝

#Season 1 #Victor Frankenstein #Robert Walton

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makeste · 5 years

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Index of BnHA Stuff (Essays/Metas/Misc.) (old version)

this is part two of my giant index of all my BnHA chapter recaps, essays, and so forth (see part one for more on why I split them up). the other indexes are linked below.

index of the indexes:

manga recaps (no spoilers)

essays/metas/misc.

anime recaps/other anime stuff

fic recs

manga recaps cont. (spoilers)

---

part two of the index (essays, metas, and so forth) is below the cut.

(ETA: this is the original version of my bnha meta index! it is not sorted by category, and is in chronological posting order with both spoiler and non-spoiler posts. I’m keeping the post up because I know some people have it saved for reference, but moving forward all new metas will be added to my two new indexes instead:

essays/metas/misc (no spoilers)

essays/metas/misc (spoilers)

this post is current to about chapter 277 or thereabouts. anyways, that’s all!)

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essays/metas/misc.:

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(tag: bnha meta)

(also please take note of posts marked with **manga spoilers**!)

BnHA Bonus Rant: Top 10 Anime Betrayals (a.k.a. who is the U.A. Traitor)

BnHA Bonus Rant #2: Dad for One (a.k.a. All for One is Deku’s dad)

Nighteye Deserved Better: The Essay

on superhero culture in BnHA, and Horikoshi’s concept of what makes a hero

and part 2 of the above, featuring a lot of rambling about Bakugou

the good, the bad, and the basement (a.k.a. my list of pros and cons of the Overhaul Arc) (this one has some very good replies from @elanorpam and @herongale (who I can’t tag for some reason) in the comments that are honestly more worth reading than my initial post lol)

BnHA Bonus Rant #3: “Kacchan”

BnHA Bonus Rant #4: Bakumom

top ten characters as of March 2019 (**manga spoilers**)

regarding the parallels and contrasts between Deku and Gentle

on fandom’s response to chapter 192 (**manga spoilers**)

on Endeavor and whether or not he can be redeemed (**manga spoilers**)

piecing together the whole Dabi thing and the Todoroki flashbacks (**manga spoilers**)

and an addendum to that which isn’t actually my meta (credit to @baezetsu) but is cool regardless so I’ll link it here (**manga spoilers**)

ranking of the class B kids’ quirks (**manga spoilers**)

weird theory post related to the you-know-whats from chapter 193 (**manga spoilers**)

my predictions for future arcs, as of chapter 228 or thereabouts (**manga spoilers**)

“could you do a meta about Bakugou’s expression in chapter 40?” (yes. yes I can)

the new BakuDeku status quo (**manga spoilers**)

“do you think Bakugou is unusually divisive for a shounen rival?”

Top 10 Favorite Bakugou Moments

on Shigaraki Tomura and whether or not he can be redeemed (**manga spoilers**)

U.A. Traitor Theory 2: Electric Boogaloo (**manga spoilers**)

favorite BnHA arcs ranked (**manga spoilers**)

“When there’s a wall before your eyes... you smile.” (a.k.a. my giant essay about Bakugou and winning) (**manga spoilers**)

BnHA Bonus Rant # 5: All for One for All (**manga spoilers**)

Top 10 Favorite Deku Moments (**manga spoilers, but tagged**)

“how do you feel about Izuku and Ochako’s romance in the story so far?” (**manga spoilers**)

"when you say Shigaraki will be ‘redeemed’, what exactly does that mean?” a.k.a. another essay about Tomura and whether or not he deserves redemption (**manga spoilers**)

“how do you think Bakugou feels about Izuku choosing ‘Deku’ as his hero name?”

on AFO and his intentions regarding his “heir” (**manga spoilers**)

Favorite BnHA OST Tracks

BnHA Bonus Diversion: Horikoshi’s Sketches

probably like my 500th rant about Deku and Kacchan and their confused relationship (**manga spoilers**)

some musing about the upcoming plot and a forthcoming character interaction (post-ch. 242) (**manga spoilers**)

a hero under construction (a.k.a. essay 700-b about Bakugou, this time specifically about him being a complete and utter shithead in the first chapter, and why he’s still my favorite anyway)

why Kaminari Denki is not the U.A. traitor (and why the traitor is actually Hagakure) (**manga spoilers**)

ITP: an incomplete but lovingly assembled list of people who have it out for my kid (a.k.a. my ranking of possible main antagonists for Bakugou) (**manga spoilers**)

some very brief metaing about chapter 244, the possible implications of Bakugou and Deku reading a certain book, and a potential storm looming on the horizon between Bakugou and a certain other character (**manga spoilers**)

“what I lack” (a.k.a. a chapter 247-prompted essay about Bakugou’s continuing journey as a person) (**manga spoilers**)

a quick meta about Bakugou’s lack of a tragic past, and why I think that’s important

what we could have been (a.k.a. an essay about the differences in Deku and Bakugou compared to All Might and Endeavor) (**manga spoilers**)

“what purpose does our strength serve?” (a.k.a. what Bakugou learned about himself in the latest arc, and what choice he may have settled on) (**manga spoilers**)

meta about what “Kacchan” would potentially mean as a hero name (**manga spoilers**)

some reactions to Horikoshi’s 12/22/19 interview with Cinema Today Japan, particularly his remarks about Bakugou

the mortifying ordeal of being known... and rejected (a.k.a. an essay about the importance of Bakugou and Deku’s bond and how Bakugou secretly fears losing it) (**manga spoilers**)

some predictions on who is & isn’t making it out of the latest arc (**manga spoilers**)

why I think a traitor plot would be good for Hagakure’s development (**manga spoilers**)

so, Heroes Rising (a.k.a. my thoughts on the second BnHA movie) (**manga spoilers**) (**spoilers for Heroes Rising**)

receive, and entrust (or, my rambling thoughts about That One Thing that happens at the end of Heroes Rising) (**manga spoilers**) (**and again, spoilers for Heroes Rising, obviously**)

some more thoughts about Hagakure being the traitor and even possibly being a certain someone’s sister (**manga spoilers**)

killing is not so easy as the innocent believe (a.k.a. a very misguided essay about Hawks lmao) (**manga spoilers**)

some rambling about legacies, and opening up, and All Might has two sons more at 11 (a.k.a. a discussion of Bakugou and Deku and their relationships with All Might) (**manga spoilers**)

a ranking of all the kids in U.A.’s first year by how likely they are to murder a bitch (**manga spoilers**)

my take on a certain someone’s hotly debated actions in chapter 266 (**manga spoilers**)

on Shigaraki Tomura and his motivations and current goals (**manga spoilers**)

some speculation about the role a certain recently-resurrected character might play in regards to the battle against Tomura (**manga spoilers**)

literally just a giant post of Bakugou faces

a series of posts about how short Dabi is (shh, he’s sensitive) - 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 (**manga spoilers**)

“what do you think about the sexualization of the girls in the anime/manga?” (**manga spoilers**)

“how do you feel about the anime changing things from the manga?”

some thoughts about the occasional sexualization of the boys in BnHA as opposed to the girls, and why the two things aren’t equivalent

a theory about Deku (and One for All)’s connection to All for One (**manga spoilers**)

“being a hero means protecting everyone” (or, my thoughts on Katsuki’s character growth as of chapter 274) (**manga spoilers**)

my thoughts on Shouto sometimes being left out of BKDK antics, and the TDBKDK dynamic and how it works in the series

“...just to protect you.” (a.k.a. "why Deku still hasn’t told anyone else about OFA”) (**manga spoilers**)

some brief musings on why I think [insert spoiler character] is going to lose their quirk (**manga spoilers**)

some more meta about why said character losing their quirk would kickstart some long-awaited character development (**manga spoilers**)

obstacles do not block the path -- they are the path (a.k.a. yet another meta about this person losing their quirk, and how the series has been foreshadowing it, and why I think it should happen) (**manga spoilers**)

a bit of a rant about the ratio of male to female characters in the series, and why Horikoshi had better not mess with the lady heroes we do have (**manga spoilers**)

some speculation on a certain character’s future role in the series after the injuries they sustained in chapters 267& 271 (**manga spoilers**)

some brief thoughts on the “Eri can just heal such and such” theories that crop up from time to time (**manga spoilers**)

quick rambly post about my initial thoughts on Bakugou and why I loved him from the start

needlessly long and tangent-y post about whether or not Bakugou should have any more angst in the series, feat. a comparison to various other characters’ traumas just for perspective (**manga spoilers**)

yet more meta about a certain character hypothetically becoming quirkless, and what kind of impact it might have on them, and how they would try to move forward (**manga spoilers**)

“do you think OFA’s secret should be shared with more than Bakugou?” (**manga spoilers**)

top ten characters as of July 2020 (**manga spoilers**)

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other people’s meta / meta back-and-forth:

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more essaying about AFO and whether or not he’s the final villain (thequietmanno1) (**manga spoilers**)

on Re-Destro and the source of the “stress” that fuels his quirk (thequietmanno1) (**manga spoilers**)

more discussion about BnHA 237, and the bystander effect (thequietmanno1) (**manga spoilers**)

some meta on chapter 236 regarding Kotaro, [redacted]’s quirk upgrade, and potential ways for AFO to continue tormenting the Shimuras in the future (thequietmanno1) (**manga spoilers**)

if you’re going to stan a villain, stan them as a villain (a.k.a. some musings on whether liking a character isn’t the same thing as endorsing all of their actions) (waywardhellhound) (**manga spoilers**)

a brief meta on what we know about Kacchan and Deku’s childhood friendship and them knowing each other since they were lil babbies (class1akids) (**manga spoilers**)

#bnha #boku no hero academia #makeste reads bnha #index #looking at this makes me think I should come up with a filing system just for bakugou essays #'bakugou essay 101 dash b'#I may or may not have a problem you guys #bnha meta

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dateflight398 · 3 years

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Dating As A Single Dad Reddit

Dating As A Single Dad Reddit Free

Dating Single Parents Reddit

Reddit Dating Advice

A few years ago, I started cracking jokes regularly about hot dads. Then when I met a charming, handsome dude with good taste in music and tacos at a secret Santa vinyl swap party last winter, I started dating one. Suddenly the jokes seemed a little creepy, and although I actively pumped the brakes on making them, those familiar with my menagerie of hot dad puns rose a skeptical eyebrow. I didn't seek out a hot dad, it just happened. Hotness aside, there's some unexpected things that happen when you date a single dad.

I've dated ('dated') divorced dudes before, which might be a little similar, but this relationship marks my first with a parent. When the relationship was brand-spankin' new, a lot of close friends lamented renditions of, 'I could never DATE A PARENT.' They echoed sentiments of kids being deal breakers. But I just figured, we're getting older. Everyone has a past and brings baggage into a relationship. And sometimes that baggage needs soccer lessons. Although, of course, I find my partner's child a deeply charming, fun, hilarious little human who doesn't qualify as 'baggage.' You know what I mean. A man willing and thrilled to take on the dad role shows commitment. It shows a patient man who gives a damn and has a loving heart. These are positive things. However, yeah..dating one of these men summons some unique situations sometimes.

Aug 27, 2018 Single dads have responsibilities, and that’s a sign that they’ll be able to handle a relationship maturely. Speaking of fatherly responsibilities, single dads have to take their kids to the Dentist, the Doctor, and other appointments. This means that it should be relatively easy to meet a single dad if you’re looking to date one. If you’re newly single, ease into it. Remember, you’re the grown-up here. “The decision to date is 100. Single Officers, hows your dating life? I am a Deputy that is currently working in the county jail. I was recently set up on a blind date with a friend of a friend. She was was really cute from her pictures and i was told she was a great person so i agreed. We met for dinner and I was actually having a good time.

He gets along great with your dad

I already knew I was dating a sociable, nice guy, and my dad is the same way, but I don't know how I failed to predict this easy bond. It's kinda unbelievably cute to watch them nerd out on fatherhood together.

He moves easily in different social situations

If he has to make pleasant conversation with other parents during tae kwan do, he can flow harmoniously through your old coworker's new girlfriend's potluck.

Finding tiny clothes in your clean laundry

Or..not even that tiny. Just not yours and not big enough to be his. I recently unearthed a red T-shirt that was definitely not mine in a batch of clean laundry I did at bae's house. Granted, I'm a fairly petite person and my boyfriend's child is seven. Even though I modeled it for jokes above, I resisted the urge to actually don and sport it around. That seemed too far.

Reexamining past relationships

Every situation is different, but my boyfriend is still on amicable terms with his child's mother, who also lives near us. Matters are so peachy that she even shared me on a Google Calendar she, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend share re: who has chief parenting duties when (it's half-and-half, really). This kind of amazing camaraderie made me really look at past relationships I'd previously kept duct-taped in a box and tossed the way-back part of the closet. I'd like to say this exercise made me resurrect toxic romantic relationships as healthy friendships, but that hasn't quite happened yet (and with some specific ones, I honestly can't see that ever happening). More than anything, I think it's helped me recognize the hard fact that all humans have faults and, in general, good intentions. Harmony can exist with a little work. (Though to be fair, I can't take credit for the calendar. That's all his superstar ex's handiwork and maturity.)

Realizing people sure like to make fun of/talk about dads

I actually muted #dadbod from Twitter and had to fake a million smiles for people trying to relate to me by bringing the meme up IRL. Also very tired of the dad joke thing (which is real, sure, but still not a phenom I care to discuss for the 999th time).

There's far less invented drama

Dating As A Single Dad Reddit Free

When a person has to care for another human, they simply have less emotional and physical energy to invent snafus or hang-ups. Nothing is a big deal unless it's an actual Big Deal. He has developed a wisdom to help him identify the difference between the two, and if you haven't already done the same, hanging with him long enough will be educational.

You have an incredibly patient partner

Someone who had to teach a tiny, indignant child how to master the toilet isn't gonna flip when you need to take nine breaks hiking back out of a canyon.

You save money

I've never considered my income sizable until I started thinking of the glaring fact that I don't have to split it with anyone. Since single dads still have to, you know, fund their child, there isn't always a ton of extra dough to fund flippant outings to fancy cocktail bars or jump onto tubing trips you didn't even want to attend in the first place. It inspires you to be more mindful of your own spending habits. As such—

He's wildly creative with cheap and free activities

And knows every single dope park worth visiting in town.

It forces you to address your own insecurities..

So when the kid asks, 'Why are you wearing lipstick?' You can actually think to yourself, '..Yeah. Why am I doing that?' And in a more serious sense, it forces you to dissect immature impulses. Like when you're running late to meet a friend because you're stuck in a child-stuffed lantern parade one town over, you're not allowed to bitch and force your S.O. to help you summon an Uber to pick you up, STAT—because he's too busy pushing the kid on a skateboard inside the festivities to indulge your princess agenda. It makes you take a more discerning look at this princess agenda and brainstorm ways to be more reasonable in general.

..and to be an adult yourself.

I was playing with the kid at a playground near my boyfriend's apartment and when an authority figure from the attached daycare came out to ask if we had permission to be there, I immediately turned to the child. Then I realized, 'Oh fuck. I'm supposed to answer here.' I've always been a touch afraid of authority but knew I had to handle the current situation. It turned out fine, by the way.

Conversely, it means you can't let jealousy get to you with exes. I used to let envy blind me badly in the past—even if a boyfriend managed to remain congenial with an ex, the whole bond made me feel rattled as hell. Now that I'm with a person who's ex will be around in a close way forever and ever amen, I have to be OK with that. Which is the adult thing to do anyway. We can't let ourselves feel threatened for no viable reason.

He knows the world doesn't revolve around him

This can be a difficult quality to find in this world of overgrown Peter Pans on the hunt for their own Mother figure—a person to handle all the less savory household duties, remind them to go to the doctor, praise them constantly, hinge their daily or long-term plans on what Pan wants or says he needs. This situation is different, because he already takes on that role for his child while still taking decent care of himself. Playing Mother to a series of adult Peter Pans got old, so this kind of attitude is a very welcome change of pace.

He is deliberate

Since there's a kid involved, he isn't trying to be all willy-nilly with decisions in life—both those that do and don't concern you. That's pretty hot, TBH.

You can dodge responsibility for your music choices

When 'Uptown Funk' happens six times in a row, I can blame that on the kid (which is true). Same with Katy Perry (which might be an extrapolation or even just my idea).

It's hard to gross him out

Possibly one of the best treats of dating a dad. If your cat got secretly sick and he steps barefoot into a pile of barf, he doesn't love it but he understands that happens (probably because he has experience direct skin-to-someone else's-barf contact before). He also doesn't panic about periods or farts or other body stuff.

Dating Single Parents Reddit

His place is gonna be messy..forever

Cleaning is one of my favorite forms of therapy, likely because if I'm in a highly cluttered space physically, that transfers mentally and makes me feel like a stressed-out trashcan. Very early in this relationship, I suggested I help my boyfriend with an intense cleaning sesh of his kitchen. We had a lot of wine and played loud punk and soon it was gleaming. This lasted about 36 hours. With a child and full-time job and other luxurious duties such as bathing oneself and staying fed (AND keeping the kid fed), cleaning falls to the wayside. Besides not having enough time to clean, kids are just miraculously mess-inducing machines. Tireless ones. As such, I try to see this situation as an opportunity to relax my OCD tendencies and work to become a more patient, understanding person. Of course my apartment is much cleaner—because I only have to account for me. It isn't fair to hold him to the same standard.

You learn how to relinquish some control

I recognize I have some control freak tendencies, relationships included. A lot of life is outside our control and dating someone with a child is a very effective reminder that no matter what, we can't always call the shots. We have to be adaptable. As such, I waited until my boyfriend thought it would be OK to introduce me to his kid. And even then, it's not like I leapt from a cake and shouted, 'I AM YOUR NEW MOM!!!!!!!!!!!' Not at all. I'm still just a buddy who kicks it from time to time to join in on eating pizza or playing 'balloon' or the occasional ride home from school. When and if my boyfriend wants to explain my role in his life to his child, that's not really up to me. It's a discussion he and I can have, but it's not my endeavor to pilot.

You get a bit of perspective about your own age..

It's fun to make fun of Oldsters until you realize you are now one. This is highlighted by the frequency at which you offer anecdotes children don't want to hear, always marked with the beginning, 'When I was a kid..' They don't care, probably. They just don't need to hear about how your lack of skills with Donkey Kong at age seven feeds into your lack of skills with Mario Kart Racing at age 27. They're just stoked to authentically beat an adult.

..and your general level of importance.

Not to say my boyfriend treats me like I'm not important; He treats me with total kindness and respect. It's just that I have dated people in the past who put me on a pedestal, and you know what? The oxygen gets pretty thin up there. Although I'm sure it's meant as an appreciative gesture, it's unrealistic and puts a lot of pressure on the person sitting on top of it. Dating a parent, though, means no matter what, there is always going to be someone more important than I am in the mix. And I am so so OK with that.

There's no room for jealousy

If a sitter falls through last-minute, that means reservations gotta be canceled and dinner gets moved to the living room and the main dish will probably be pizza. You can't take it personally if homie is late because his child's mother got a flat tire so he had to go help out. You also can't get suspicious when he's on the phone with her a lot. These are complicated waters to navigate and if you're even to dip a few toes beneath the surface, you gotta be able to resign yourself to faith and trust—two things that ought to be present in any grown-ass relationship anyway. It's just here, it's especially non-negotiable.

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Reddit Dating Advice

Shit doesn't have to be so serious

I never babysat growing up and none my nieces and nephews live close by, so I don't actually have much experience hanging out with kids. The first time I met my boyfriend's child, I was 900 times more nervous than meeting any adult. What were we supposed to do or talk about? 'Seriously, whatever,' he instructed. After a while, the nerves dissolved and we were playing a stirring game of 'balloon,' which entails whacking a balloon back and forth between two or three people in a living room. Extra rules vary, but usually Taylor Swift is a necessary soundtrack. Things just don't have to be so serious in the sense that kids are very fun and it's almost astounding how quickly you can reverse back to such an easily entertained brain space. It's freeing to launch into some weird accent and spike a deflating balloon in the air without fear of being judged. It scratches a specific existential itch.

There's no ego

Because guess who makes the weird accent and plays balloon when you're not around? Conversely, though— Gaydia gay dating site reviews.

You can have serious conversations without scaring each other

Although I'm sure there are exceptions, most of the time when a single dad is dating, he isn't just screwing around. It's surprisingly refreshing to sink into a relationship and have the comfortable freedom to discuss individual big-scale hopes and goals. In other relationships, talking about the future at all can often be exactly the catalyst to send Pan off packing for a return and permanent trip to Neverland.

You retain a lot of your own time

Often, especially in new relationships, it can be hard to balance love stuff and friends. https://dateflight398.tumblr.com/post/658104267855577088/catholic-dating-app-free. Assuming you're in a situation with split custody in a local setting, that means half the time you get to yourself. It helps slow things down early on and maintain other hobbies, tinkerings, friendships, and such in your own life. It's the antithesis to smothering and fosters vital independence.

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