#anyway these characters are all soooooo up my alley you were so right | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lavenderboneswrites · 4 years

Text

Heart Over Ice

***please read the tags*** ***trigger warning***

Chapter 3 has been updated! Also available on AO3

Chapter Summary:

Shizuo tries to take positive steps to move on with his life, which would be a hell of a lot easier if Izaya wasn't in it. Shizuo finds drinking plus Izaya leads to bad decisions and even worse consequences.

Tags: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Murder, Sexual Assault, Attempted Sexual Assault, Non-Consensual Drug Use, drug induced paralysis, Medical Procedures, Trauma, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Discussion of Rape, Discussion of sexual assault, Discussion of Death, discussion of trauma, Triggers, discussion of triggers, Panic Attacks, explicit descriptions of panic attacks, Canon-Typical Violence, aka Shizuo typical violence, Protective Heiwajima Shizuo, Shizuo-centric, Binge Drinking, Angst with a Happy Ending, Minor Kishitani Shinra/Celty Sturluson, minor original characters, Minor Character Death, Eventual Smut, eventual consensual smut, Eventual Romance, Eventual Happy Ending, Pre-Relationship, First Aid, Mentions of Yakuza, Drug Dealing, Thoughts of Self-harm, Self-Harm, Torture, Disassociation

Chapter 3 - Over Active

If Shinra didn’t have a fully stocked bar, Shizuo doesn’t know if he’d actually be here.

It had been a few days since the nightclub incident, and Shizuo is determined to put everything behind him. He starts by trying to take a little better care of himself. He’s forcing himself to eat, three meals a day, and he’s trying to cut back on the smokes.

Shizuo had also taken up jogging, thinking that maybe if he exhausts his body he’ll be too tired for insomnia and nightmares. There is something nice about the anonymity. In his exercise gear no one seems to notice him, the citizen’s blissfully unaware of the infamous monster of Ikebukuro running around the neighbourhood.

He still feels anxious, still sees Izaya being assaulted when he closes his eyes and hears those thoughts of self-harm … but he tries his best to ignore them. It’s not an easy feat. Though thankfully, there haven’t been any more of the really violent flashbacks like in the alley. Probably something to do with not being around Izaya. Leave it to the flea to be the one to set him off, he was aptly skilled in that department after all.

The running helps, but Shizuo finds his mind would wander too freely even though his body was occupied. So he got some headphones and signed up for Spotify, trying to replace any risky thoughts with music. He doesn’t really know much about music, and he follows Kasuka for guidance. Shizuo finds his tastes are varying and wide, from rap to obscure indie; he isn’t fussed and more importantly, it helps. He’s enjoying it.

This new self-care routine also dictates he reach out to his friends, which is why he found himself unable to refuse an invitation to dinner at Shinra and Celty’s.

They greeted him at the door cheerfully, Celty in a pink frilly apron over her black catsuit and Shinra already a drink deep if his glass was an indication.

The apartment was warm, with a delicious smell was wafting from the kitchen. Celty quickly left them to get back to preparing her feast, leaving Shizuo to cross the room and jump behind the bar.

“What are we drinking?”

It was just the three of them, which Shizuo was secretly thankful for … he didn’t think he could deal with huge crowds of people right now. Just the thought of anyone accidentally touching him had Shizuo wanting to scratch off his own skin.

Shinra sat down on one of the stools at the counter, answering lively. “Whiskey!”

The same kind the colour of Izaya’s-

Nope, don’t go there.

“Gross,” Shizuo shot at Shinra, who scrunched up his face in response.

“Then make me a drink, oh wise bartender-sama,” Shinra sniggered into his drink.

“Shut up.”

Shizuo pulled down various bottles from the shelf, lining them up on the benchtop. “My, my, looking to get lit, Shizuo-kun,” Shizuo shot a disparaging look at Shinra and his use of the word ‘lit’. Where did he come up with this shit? “We’ve got vodka, tequila, gin, Cointreau, and even white rum!” Shinra tapped each of the bottles on the lid as he named them.

“Some of these aren’t even opened, this bar is wasted on you shitty doctor,” Shizuo grumbled, looking for lemon juice and sugar syrup.

“What can I say, I’m the only one who can drink … do you expect me to clear out all these bottles by myself?”

“I think you’ll be flat on the floor from just one.”

“You’re soooooo meeeeaaaaaan~!” Shinra wailed dramatically.

“Lightweight.” Shizuo added with a grin. For the first time in a long time he actually felt not terrible. It was nice, seeing his friends, bantering with Shinra and getting drunk. This is what he needed.

“Where’s your ice?”

“Kitchen-, no,” Shinra held up a hand to stop Shizuo who had turned to head just there. “Don’t think I’ll let you go and steal my chance to have a moment alone with Celty!”

“Just get the ice you dumbass.”

Shinra giggled as he ran like an idiot to the kitchen, Shizuo rolling his eyes at the lovestruck fool.

“Lemon too!” Shizuo called out as an afterthought, but he doubted it was heard over Shinra’s squeal of ‘Ceeeellllltttttyyyyy~!’

Thankfully the door swung shut on the doctor’s wails of love.

Shizuo pulled out a silver cocktail shaker out from underneath the bar, setting up all his tools and ingredients in a line with two glasses on standby.

It shouldn’t take more than thirty seconds to get ice, yet Shinra had been gone at least a couple of minutes.

Yeah, Shizuo really didn’t want to know…

The kitchen door swung open, giggles and black smoke pouring out. Shizuo half wanted to roll his eyes and half couldn’t help but think Shinra and Celty were kind of cute.

I’ve lost my goddamn fucking mind.

Shinra basically fell out of the kitchen door, his cheeks rosy red, ice in one hand and a chopping board with lemon wedges in the other. “I will miss you every moment you are not in my presence my love~!”

Black smoke pushed him out the door, motion belaying Celty’s mortification at Shinra’s frankly embarrassing behaviour.

You horny fuckers.

Shizuo could only shake his head as Shinra skipped back to him and dumped the ice try on the counter.

“You’re disgusting.”

“Huh?” Shinra said aghast. “My love is beautiful and pure, Shizuo-kun!”

“Like I said … disgusting.”

Shinra chuckled as Shizuo split the ice between the glasses and cocktail shaker and started measuring out shots

“This drink actually has all five of these? Are you trying to kill me?”

Shizuo gave a mischievous grin, “step up your game, shitty doctor … I thought we were getting ‘lit’.”

“Ugh,” Shinra groaned. “Why are you in such a good mood anyway?”

Shizuo shrugged, pouring shots over ice. Maybe it was the self-care, or maybe just good food and good people. Whatever it was he would take it, if only for tonight.

“Hmm,” Shinra had a shrewd look on his face, like he was suspicious. “Celty’s theories on alien imposters might not be far off…”

“Piss off.”

Shizuo finished adding the various liquids into the cocktail shaker, before capping the lid over the top and picking it up.

“It’s a shame you know,” Shinra said as Shizuo started to shake the cylinder over his shoulder, “you’re really good at this, you should try and get another bartending job.”

Shizuo snorted, careful not to lose his cool and send the cocktail shaker into the mirrored shelves behind him. “What? So I can get fired from that too? Anyway, I have a job.”

A perfectly fine one, thank you very much … and if Shizuo didn’t bring up why he got fired from those other jobs, well, whatever.

“But this suits you, you seem…” Shinra trailed off, like he couldn’t quite think of the word to describe Shizuo. “Content?”

Another half shrug, Shizuo placing the shaker back on the bar and hitting the sides of the metal lightly. Very lightly. He’d exploded his fair share of these shakers when he had first been learning to tend bar. The ice caused the container to get cold and expand, making the lid stick; the tapping helped pull it off easier.

“You have a lot of control when like this!” Shinra sounded fascinated as Shizuo grabbed the strainer. He didn’t really think about it to be honest, but he could see where Shinra was coming from. Personally, Shizuo thought Shinra would be equally fascinated if he were to crush the entire bar instead.

Shinra gave an over the top ‘oooh’ when Shizuo flipped the strainer one handed, doing a spinning trick with it between his fingers before placing it over the rim of a glass. Heh, he’d have to show Shinra some more tricks later, maybe when Celty was around to watch.

“Maybe you should be the one to take up the knives! You’re plenty dexterous.”

Shizuo made a face at that, somewhere between revulsion and disgust “don’t be gross Shinra.”

The doctor just sniggered in reply.

Shizuo split his creation into two glasses filled with ice. For final touches he topped the drinks with cola and a lemon wedge each. “Here you go, one long island iced tea.”

Shinra took the drink Shizuo slid across the bar, looking down at the black-brown concoction. “You really are trying to kill me.”

“Hah!” Shizuo laughed, pulling his own drink to his lips and inhaling the scent. “Weak.”

“Not all of us have a superhuman tolerance! Why would you even choose to make this?” Shinra sounded plenty aghast yet he still drank all the same.

“Alcohol tastes like shit…” Shizuo said as if that explained anything.

“So you make this five shots abomination!?”

“Doesn’t taste like alcohol.”

“That’s what makes it so dangerous! Jeez Shizuo-kun, you’re such a sadist.”

Shizuo only smirked over the rim of his glass. Taking a sip, he gave a noise of satisfaction at the way the drink flooded his mouth and rushed down his throat.

It was smooth as hell.

“Still got it,” Shizuo said more to himself than Shinra. To which the doctor only groaned in reply.

“Izaya’s right, you are arrogant.”

Shizuo immediately felt his pleasant mood snap.

Izaya kicking him, threatening him. Izaya’s dead eyes. Izaya’s jerking head. A dark stain on denim.

“I’m warning you Shinra … don’t fucking bring him up.”

Shinra sighed, “you guys really need to come to some sort of truce, I’m getting tired of the constant fighting.”

Shinra was tired? Well Shizuo was fucking exhausted.

“Fuck off Shinra … never gonna happened.”

Shinra didn’t answer, just took small sips of his drink, looking thoughtful.

“By the way, how are you doing with all that?”

“With all what?” Shizuo snapped, his gut clenched uncomfortably.

Shinra gave him a deadpan look, as if he knew Shizuo was being purposely dense. “I just meant … it was pretty traumatic.”

Shizuo slammed his glass down with more force than necessary. “I'm not-”

-Not what? Not traumatised?

“I mean … just-just shut up Shinra.”

Shinra looked at Shizuo calmly, only the slight raising of his brow to show he clearly thought differently. It was the same kind of patronising look Shizuo saw on the flea. The doctor obviously had a death wish or something, because he was silent for only a moment before he opened his big fat mouth again.

“Izaya is acting like he’s not affected, but I think he was really shaken by it all.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“What do you mean you know?”

Oh shit, fuck, now Shizuo was the one who couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

“We had a run in, he was…” Shizuo tried to think of a sufficient way to describe the flea’s almost manic behaviour. Though compared to Shizuo’s own, it was probably a lot less pathetic. “He was pissed.”

Pissed was putting it lightly, raging lunatic more like it. Which was ironic as hell considering Shizuo’s own anger issues.

Shizuo himself was still furious at the fact the little bastard had kicked him and then almost gouged out his eyes.

Fucking psycho.

Shinra made an exasperated sound, “he won’t talk to me at all! He keeps leaving me on read … why, oh why did I choose the two most difficult people in the country to be my friends?”

“Sounds like a blessing in disguise to me … you should take this as an opportunity to ditch him once and for all.”

“Shizuo-kun!” Shinra admonished, though he sounded a little entertained. “No! Stop changing the subject! How are you? Are you eating well? Sleeping enough?”

“What are you, my mother?”

“Celty would want me to ask these questions about my friends!”

“Ah, so you’re doing her dirty work.”

Shinra made an ‘oh shit’ face. Of course Celty had sent Shinra to do some digging, seeing how Shizuo had been purposely avoiding her. It was only right she was worried.

Shizuo took a longer sip of his drink, finishing the entire last half in one gulp. Really, he was just buying time.

“You can tell her, yes, I’m eating. Three meals a day and all.”

“And what about your mood? Have you got a good sleep pattern going?”

“You’re about to fucking see my mood, Shi-n-ra!”

Shizuo and Shinra managed to get one more drink in before dinner; yuzu hachimitsu sour, weak. After all, he didn’t want to actually kill Shinra, not really. They moved to the dining table, a veritable feast laid out on the table. Shizuo tried to ignore the way his mind went to memories of Izaya laid out on his own table.

“Wow Celty, this looks amazing.”

It was like a huge order at an Izakaya, with lots of individual dishes. Shizuo could spot edamame, karaage, yakitori, and takoyaki … just to name a few.

Shinra was hanging off the Dullahan, singing her praises. “My Celty is a MasterChef~!”

“Mm, more like Iron Chef!” Shizuo added, feeling pleasantly buzzed two drinks deep.

Celt’s smoke merely puffed in that flustered way of hers. [Stop it, both of you!]

Shinra and Shizuo only laughed, Shinra exclaiming how cute she was when embarrassed.

It was only when they were all taking a seat at the table, about to dig in, that there was a knock on the door.

“Hm, who could that be?” Shinra asked, standing up as Shizuo’s brows furrowed.

Apparently, no one good.

Shinra was only gone for a few minutes before he returned, “look who I found!”

Celty’s black smoke exploded, almost like one giant explanation point. Shizuo on the other snapped the flimsy wooden chopsticks in his hand clean in half.

Standing in the door, in all his shitty glory, was the fucking flea.

“I told you Shinra I’m not staying-,”

“-Nonsense!” Shinra flapped his hands, as if waving Izaya’s protests off. “There’s plenty for all of us, and you could do with a good meal, you’re skin and bones!”

“What are you, my mother?”

Shizuo growled as Shinra let out a high pitched laugh, no doubt remembering Shizuo exact same expression from earlier.

“What’s so funny?” Izaya snapped, looking far from pleased with the situation. His eyes caught Shizuo’s, narrowing in a look nothing short of hatred.

Next time, come at me like you want to kill me.

Shizuo’s hand gripped the underside of the table. Shadows were immediately tugging at him gently, and Shizuo realised he had stood without thinking.

Shizuo growled, slumping back down into his seat. It had been established long ago that Shinra and Celty’s apartment was a neutral zone, Switzerland if you will. Though it was less a decision on Shizuo’s part and more the fact Shinra and Celty were sick of having their furniture thrown through their walls after missing a certain slippery bastard.

Hell, Shizuo was going to need a hundred more drinks before he even thought of letting the flea have dinner with them.

At least this time he wasn’t threatening to cut out Shizuo’s eyes. Or drugged.

He still looks like he’d try and skewer me given the chance.

“No way Shinra … get rid of him.”

“Yes please Shinra, ‘get rid of me’,” Izaya parroted back, raising his fingers to do mocking air quotations. “You know I think I might actually stay now.”

Izaya sat down in the chair opposite Shizuo with an infuriating smirk. “Watching a beast eat in its natural habitat, a video of that is bound to fetch a high price.”

“Izaya,” Shinra warned as Shizuo threw his broken chopsticks across the table at the flea. The bastard merely leaned to the left and avoided them with a gleeful little laugh.

[Please don’t throw things]

“Sorry Celty,” and now Shizuo felt guilty.

[Don’t be sorry, I don’t want him here either!]

“Why do I get the feeling Courier-san is not writing anything too kind about me, ne?”

Celty pulled her PDA close to her chest, like she was afraid Izaya would try and take the device from her and read it.

“Because no one likes you, shithead.”

“I do.”

“Shut up Shinra.”

“Yeah, shut up Shinra,” Izaya mocked, once again copying Shizuo.

“Can you not be annoying for more than five minutes?”

“That depends, can you not be a beast for more than five minutes?”

“Argh!” Shizuo wanted to flip the table but then all Celty’s hard work would go to waste.

“How fascinating, the language of Neanderthals…”

“Give it a rest, both of you!” Shinra’s words did not match the amusement in his voice or the way he was trying to stifle his laughter. “You’re ruining my Celty’s wonderful dinner!”

[Ah Shinra- it’s fine]

“I want a drink-“

“-Oi!” Shizuo yelled as the flea reached out and snatched away his drink. “Get your own, you damn parasite.”

Izaya took a sip and made thoughtful face, “this is good … a little sweet for my taste but the sour really cuts through it. I’m amazed someone without a head is such a capable chef, well done Courier-san.”

[Oh…]

Shinra burst out laughing, collapsing to the floor in hysterics.

“What?” Izaya snapped, glaring at Shinra who was struggling to pull himself back up through his laughter.

“Oi, oi, oi...” Shizuo could feel a vein throbbing in his temple.

Shinra wheezed as his head popped up, tears of laughter visible in his eyes. “Celty didn’t make that.”

Izaya looked down once at the drink in his hand, then once to Shinra, who had collapsed again in a fit of giggles, and then to Shizuo.

Shizuo watched as the flea’s eyes widened in realization and something akin to horror, before narrowing in distaste, “…gross.”

“Fuck you, you just said it was good.”

Shinra was howling.

“I lied, it’s called being a good guest … you should try it, Shizu-chan.”

“Bullshit!”

Izaya answered with a smirk, taking another long sip of Shizuo’s drink and then spitting it all back out.

“What the fuck flea!?”

“Want your drink back now?”

[Are you children!?]

“You couldn’t pay me to drink your dirty flea backwash.”

“You couldn’t afford my backwash.”

[How is this conversation happening?! Shinra, do something…]

Shinra was however too busy cackling on the floor, as if this was the funniest thing he had ever witnessed.

[Shinra!!!!!!!!]

Dinner had been nothing short of hairy. Shizuo barely managed not to leap over the table and throttle the flea. Shinra was wasted, though he finally managed to pull himself back into his chair after much amusement at Shizuo’s and Izaya’s expense. Celty just raised her arms to where her head should be, as if holding it in her hands and crying.

The food was amazing. Though Izaya found ways to sneak in those backhanded little comments every now and again. He would also contradict Shizuo at every turn. If Shizuo would say he really liked a sauce or the karaage, Izaya would say he wasn’t a fan and make some slight criticism of it.

‘It’s too salty’, or ‘I’ve had better’.

Though every time he did Shinra would vehemently defend Celty’s cooking and admonish Izaya’s manners or lack their off.

Now that had been satisfying. Especially the way Izaya’s nose would scrunch up in that annoyed way of his, like he almost felt betrayed by Shinra.

That was until Shinra told Shizuo to stop antagonising Izaya. Like, what the fuck? Shizuo was doing no such thing. It was all the flea! He had said as much anyway.

After dinner, which Shizuo was honestly surprised hadn’t turned into a full on food fight (which had happened many times before), they had moved back into the living room, Celty suggesting drinks and desert.

Though Shizuo had imagined she had tea or coffee in mind and not more alcohol.

“I want a desert cocktail Shizuo-kun~!”

“Mm,” Shizuo agreed as he and Shinra headed to the bar.

[No! No more alcohol!]

“Let’s put on some music.”

“Yes! Impromptu dance party!”

[Shinra you’re drunk!]

“I don’t think they’re paying attention Courier-san.”

Celty slumped into an armchair, apparently giving up all hope of calling any of them to heel.

Shizuo once again slid behind the bar while Shinra scrolled through his phone. “Any requests?”

“Rock.”

“Pop.”

Shizuo and Izaya spoke at exactly the same time, then proceeded to glare daggers at the other. Shizuo quickly opened his mouth again but it seemed Izaya had a similar idea.

“Rap.”

“Punk.”

Son of a bitch was just doing it on purpose now.

“I wanna listen to WAP!”

“Shinra no.”

“Shinra yes.”

Shizuo couldn’t help himself, if Izaya said pop Shizuo said rock, if he said punk than Shizuo said rap, and if Izaya said no then he had to say yes.

Maybe Shinra had a point and they were both as bad as each other?

No way. Shizuo might have his flaws, huge gaping ones, but compared to the flea he was miles ahead.

He is the worst.

Izaya looked extremely affronted at the music starting playing out of the small portable speaker next to the tv. Shizuo merely grinned, feeling victorious as he mixed together something sweet and smokey.

“Yeah, you fucken with some wet ass puss-,” Shinra made a muffled noise of protest as Izaya clasped a palm over his mouth to stifle his singing.

“I can’t believe you’ve done this,” he said deadpan.

“What the hell carl!” Shinra yelled back. Shizuo frankly had no idea what language they were talking anymore. It must be some weird flea-Shinra code only discernible to their ears.

“You’re going to scar your girlfriend for life, and me,” Izaya said as he and Shinra wrestled over control of the music. “What is this, YouTube? Shinra you heathen, where is your Spotify?”

Shinra replied by wrapping his arms around Izaya’s neck and hanging off him like some sort of tree monkey. “I don’t have it” Shinra sobbed.

“Yes you do it’s right here … wait,” Izaya snapped a wicked smirk onto Shizuo, “you’re following this neanderthal?”

Shizuo huffed, topping off two golden yellow drinks with a cinnamon stick each. “Shizuo-kun has really good taste Izaya … here I like this playlist.”

“Hmm,” Izaya hummed thoughtfully, scrolling through the list as if he was searching through dirty laundry. Just what secrets did he think a fucking playlist held for fuck sakes.

“Oi, Shinra.”

The doctor was quick to drop his attentions of Izaya and bound over like an excited puppy. “Oooh it looks so cool Shizuo-kun!”

“Ha, wait for it,” Shizuo pulled out his lighter, Shinra letting out more sounds of awe as he lit the ends of the two cinnamon sticks. They caught fire quickly, before simmering down to a small smoky ember. “My twist on an old fashioned.”

Shinra clapped happily, meanwhile Shizuo could see Izaya glaring from over the doctor’s shoulder. Bitter fucken flea.

“It’s goooooooodd! What is that? Maple?”

“Yeah.”

“Ooh I’m getting hints of citrus too!”

“That’s the orange peel.”

“Celty, you’ve got to try this!” Shinra ran over to his girlfriend with his drink outstretched, seemingly forgetting she couldn’t taste without a head.

Shizuo took a satisfying sip of his own drink, the end of the cinnamon stick still smoking lazily. His eyes met Izaya’s over the rim of his glass, the flea looking down his nose at him with that same scrunched up look again. With a sigh he selected a song, throwing Shinra’s phone to the couch before making his way over.

Shizuo stilled his breath, body tense as if awaiting an attack. It would be just like Izaya to try and kill him to some jaunty pop tune.

“I want a drink.”

“Haaah?” Shizuo would say he was appalled at Izaya’s lack of manners if he hadn’t know the bastard for nearly a decade. The flea sat down in front of him, looking up at him with an expectant smirk. “I’m not wasting a good drink on your dirty backwash.”

Izaya rolled his eyes. “Something bitter.”

“Like you need it.”

“So quick-witted, don’t hurt yourself, Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo was half tempted to pull the cinnamon stick out of his drink and shove it up Izaya’s nose. “Fine, you want a drink … I’ll making you a fucking drink.”

Izaya only looked entertained as Shizuo started grabbing bottles with a rough fury.

“Celty let’s dance!”

“Ugh, they’re so precious it makes me want to vomit,” Izaya mocked as Shinra started trying to twirl Celty around the room, much to Celty’s protests.

“I think they’re cute,” Shizuo snapped, unable to not contradict Izaya.

“That’s disgusting Shizu-chan,” Izaya looked like he was one step away from trying to wash Shizuo’s mouth out with soap. “I shudder to even think about what you consider romantic.”

“Then don’t think about it.”

“There’s some new gorilla’s at the zoo, maybe you could attract one with your beastly wiles.”

“You really never fucking shut up.”

Though Shizuo could vividly remember a time when Izaya had been silent. Unmoving.

Don’t.

Izaya put a finger to his lips, but the action was ruined by the way his mouth turned up at the corners, as if he wasn’t even trying all that hard not to laugh. Shizuo took in the way his eyes danced with playful amusement. It was a good look on him, much better than-

-don’t think about.

“Of course you’d pick this trash song, matches your shitty personality.”

“Oh?” Izaya leant back on stool, balancing on two legs before falling back to four. “Isn’t this your playlist Shizu-chan?”

“I’m deleting it,” Izaya just had to go and get his flea stench all over a goddamn song of all things. Shizuo would never be able to listen to it again without thinking of him and that was just too gross to think about.

Izaya let out a peal of laughter, similar to the way he had laughed at Shizuo in that alley. “Your single cell brain works in such mysterious ways, it almost makes me sick … but here’s hoping I can ruin this playlist, nay, music entirely, for you.”

Shizuo had half a mind to spit in the bastards drink and then force it down his throat … but annoyingly enough he was pretty proud of this creation. “There,” Shizuo slammed the almost black drink down in front of Izaya. “The Flea.”

“Should I feel honoured? To have my own genuine beast of Ikebukuro creation.”

“I hope you choke.”

Shizuo found himself staring as the flea smirked over the rim of the martini glass. Amaro Arvena, an Italian liqueur, bitter and black, infused with herbs and with a slightly red tinge to it. It matched Izaya perfectly, brought out the crimson in those mischievous eyes. Shizuo watched, captivated, at the flash of pink as Izaya’s tongue poked out of his mouth just before he took a short sip.

Shizuo felt like his body was starting to warm, like pleasant fire burning low in his gut. He couldn’t help it, the way he watched Izaya like he was almost prey, eyes drawing to the pale expanse of his throat when he swallowed. The flea’s eyes were hooded and the way he licked his lips was downright sinful.

“Mmmm,” Izaya made a sound of approval, “not too bad, Shizu-chan.”

Fucking hell.

“You’re a goddamn pest,” Shizuo spoke into his drink. He was way too sober for this.

Izaya gave a shrug, a sly look on his face as he downed the entire glass in one go.

“Oi, you’re not supposed to skull it.”

“I’m catching up, you and Shinra had a head start after all,” Izaya placed the glass back down and slid it back over to Shizuo. “I’ll have an expresso martini next.”

“You’ll get whatever scraps I feel generous enough to give you, louse,” Shizuo growled, ideas for his next creation already coming to mind.

“Your customer service could do with some work.”

“Shizuo-kun!” Shinra arrived in a flourish, slamming down in the stool next to Izaya so violently that the flea was almost pushed off his own. “I need another drink!”

“Both of you are demanding fucks.”

Izaya gave Shinra a playful shove back, laughing as the doctor’s arma windmilled before grabbing the bar before him. Shizuo felt slightly winded at the carefree look on Izaya’s face. He doesn’t think he had ever heard him laugh like that before. Completely at-ease and genuine, with not a hint of deception.

Shizuo could watch him laugh like that forever.

Wait.

“Here,” Shizuo slammed a bottle of tequila and a shot glass down in front of Izaya. “Catch up.”

Izaya answered Shizuo’s challenging grin with one of his own.

“Shots, shots, sh-shots, shots!” Shinra started singing.

“You will actually die shitty doctor,” Shizuo snapped a warning, but he was ignored in favour of Shinra trying to follow the glass with his lips, as if he could get a sip in before Izaya. It was surprising, Shinra was so handsy with the flea, and the flea actually allowed it … Shizuo thought maybe with everything that had happened maybe the flea wouldn’t like being touched so casually, Shizuo knows he wouldn’t, and yet the flea doesn’t seem to have a care in the world.

It was kind of infuriating, that Shizuo was so messed up and Izaya wasn’t.

Fucking shitty flea.

Izaya held a hand on Shinra’s face and pushed him away, quickly downing the shot before he could steal it.

Shizuo was once again caught himself staring at the flea’s throat.

“Dammit Shinra, go paw at monster girlfriend,” Izaya said batting the doctor’s hands away.

“She went to bed,” Shinra lamented, an ugly pout on his face. “You two have to entertain me.”

“Shizu-chan could try juggling furniture for you, if you want,” Izaya said with a condescending smirk.

Feeling a little buzzed, Shizuo met the flea’s smirk with a cocky grin of his own.

Careful not to shoot anything through the ceiling, Shizuo swung the bottle of Midori backwards. It flipped up and over his shoulder, and Shizuo raised an elbow to meet it as it came back down. With a flick of his arm the base of the bottle bounced off and spun once again, before he snatched it from the air with his other hand.

“Woo, go Shizuo!” Shinra clapped as Shizuo flipped the bottle in his hand and went straight to the pour.

The flea had a sour look on his face, like he was trying with every part of his being to not be impressed, because that would be too disgusting to even contemplate for someone like Izaya.. “It’s like watching a dog walk on its hind legs.”

“C’mon Izaya, even you have to admit that was pretty good.”

“Yeah Izaya,” Shizuo mocked with his best flea imitation.

“What exactly is this? It looks toxic,” Izaya picked up his new drink, raising it to eye level as if to inspect the contents.

“It’s green!” Shinra shouted, sounding thoroughly amazed at the lime colour.

Shizuo ignored the two idiots, taking a sip of his own drink. A burst of sour apple exploded on his tongue, zingy and tingling.

“Wow this is so good!”

“It taste like pure sugar,” Izaya complained.

“It’s like a dance party in my mouth,” Shinra added, slurping at his drink happily. Shizuo had to agree with the doctor, Izaya was just an ungrateful bastard.

“Too much for you flea?” Shizuo laughed. “Maybe you should slow down if you can’t handle it.”

Izaya’s withering stare turned into wicked grin that made Shizuo’s blood sing. He answered by knocking the entire drink back in one go. “Who can’t handle what, Shizu-chan?”

Never one to back down from a challenge, Shizuo answered by downing his own drink.

“W-wait for me!”

“Shinra no!”

“Shinra yes!”

Shinra, in his eagerness to catch up, ended up choking which had Izaya laughing in that same laid-back way as before.

“Y-you,” Shinra choked out, “you guys are going to kill me.”

Izaya only held one arm around his waist as he laughed harder.

Cutecutecutecutecute.

“Oh there’s a cherry in here!”

Just a little surprise at the bottom of the glass. Shizuo had unfortunately swallowed his whole when he downed his drink earlier.

Izaya took a look down into his glass, as if surprised to see his own cherry there too. “Heh.”

Izaya looked back up and Shizuo was pinned with eyes full of mischief.

Ohshit.

“Wanna see a trick, Shinra?”

“Ooh yes!”

“Watch this.”

Shizuo knew he would never be fucking prepared enough as Izaya gripped the cherry by the stem and lifted it to his mouth. He was facing Shinra on the barstool, but he kept his eyes locked on Shizuo.

Whose mouth was feeling incredibly dry.

Izaya lifted the cherry above his mouth, opening wide as he dropped the fruit in. Shizuo was hypnotised, and he couldn’t think past anything but mouth, lips, teeth, and tongue.

The louse gave a crooked closed-mouth smirk as he chewed, eyes closing in concentration and Shizuo followed the way he moved the cherry around in his mouth unblinking.

Shizuo couldn’t stop staring.

“Aaah.”

“Whoa!”

Shizuo almost passed out right then and there.

Izaya had swallowed visibly and then opened his mouth, a cherry stem tied into a perfect knot resting on his stuck out tongue. Shinra spoke up, his voice childlike and wonderous, nowhere near the level of depravity of Shizuo’s thoughts.

“Wow! You’re really good with your tongue, Izaya.”

The glass in his hands shattered, shards exploding outwards and showering over them all.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkkk.

Shinra jumped and fell off his chair, while Izaya absolutely howled with laughter. Shizuo could feel his cheeks heating up and he made sure to look anywhere but the flea. His hands reached for the broken glass, as if he could sweep this whole thing up along with the pieces.

“Ooowwweeeeelllllttttyyyyy~!”

Shinra’s groan of pain turned to delight at the appearance of the Dullahan. She was in pink pyjamas and cute fluffy bunny slippers. Celty fingers were flying as she typed on her PDA, holding it out for Shizuo, [What happened? Are you okay?]

“It’s fine, do you have a dustpan?”

Izaya cackled even harder and Shizuo answered by shoving him off his barstool. The flea landed next to Shinra, and they both took one look at each other before cracking up again.

Shitty, crappy, annoying, dam, flea.

Celty quickly helped Shizuo clean up the broken glass, both of them flat out ignoring the pair of drunkards rolling around on the floor.

“Sorry.”

Shizuo didn’t know if he was apologising for the broken glass or just the entire night in general. He might have gotten a little carried away, which he firmly blamed on Shinra’s bad influence. Also, Izaya’s shitty presence hadn’t exactly helped matters.

[It’s fine.]

[I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.]

Shizuo scrunched up his face. He didn’t know if would go as far as to say that … but the night hadn’t been a total letdown. It was hard to beat himself up too much about losing control when the alcohol had left him feeling warm and content.

Not to mention the heated look in the flea’s eyes.

Dammit, damn him. That shitty fucking flea was just too good at getting under Shizuo’s skin. Probably thought he had gotten away with the joke of the century on Shizuo. Shit, he had.

Whatever, Celty was an actual saint to put up with them all … especially Shinra, the lout.

“Celty my love~!” Shinra reached out with grabby hands as the Dullahan pulled him up and dumped him over his shoulder.

[Bed time.] Celty showed on her PDA, Shizuo merely raised his eyebrows in reply as the Dullahan turned and left.

“Kinky,” Izaya spoke over his shoulder.

“Ah!” Shizuo jumped, “don’t just pop up like that!”

Izaya snickered, moving back to the bar. He pulled himself up to sit on the benchtop, hands placed on either side of him so he could lean back suggestively. “Shinra is so getting pegged.”

Shizuo just groaned, rubbing between his eyes as if he could erase the images from his mind. He couldn’t help but notice the playlist had shuffled to a particularly sensual sounding song.

And now the flea has ruined The Weekend for me too…

“You’re disgusting.”

“Oh? You didn’t seem to think that before, far from it actually,” Shizuo looked over at the flea. Was he crazy or were his eyes screaming out ‘come here’?

Was the flea a mind reader? Could he tell Shizuo was thinking exactly about the way he could slot himself perfectly between parted legs with the pest sitting like that?

“F-,” Shizuo quickly cut himself off, no, don’t say fuck.

Izaya knew exactly what he’d been planning to say, if the devilish grin on his lips was anything to go by. The flea reached a hand for a small pot on the counter, whole body curving with the motion as he pulled out another maraschino cherry.

He’s a demon.

Shizuo quickly turned away, not wanting to watch Izaya put that damn thing in his mouth. Not seeing turning out to be even worse though, because now Shizuo was imagining all sorts of things.

Like taking that damn cherry out of the flea’s mouth with his own tongue.

Fuckingfuckfuuuuccck.

Shizuo was either too drunk or not drunk enough for the flea’s mind games. Either way, he was going not going to stick around to find out … and he definitely wasn’t going to fall for such a dirty trick just to have the louse laugh in his face.

“Im’ma bail,” Shizuo gave a half-hearted wave over his shoulder. “Stay out of ‘bukuro, flea.”

Shizuo had only just made it to the door when he was attacked.

Izaya grabbed him, swinging him around and slamming him up against the wooden frame. “Fl-,” Shizuo didn’t even get the words out, didn’t even get a chance to discern the flea’s expression before Izaya’s mouth was descending upon his.

Shizuo’s head was dizzy from the sudden movement, body struck dumb as Izaya twisted fingers into his hair.

What was happening? What the FUCK was happening!? Izaya was kissing him. Izaya was fucking kissing him. Shizuo. Shizuo who Izaya hated. Shizuo was being kissed by Izaya. The flea. What the actual fuck!?

Shizuo’s hands came up to Izaya’s shoulders, ready to push him away, “W-.”

He doesn’t even get the words out. Izaya taking advantage of his open mouth to shove his tongue inside.

He tastes like cherries.

All thoughts of confusion and protest vanish as instinct kicks in, and Shizuo can’t help the growl he lets out into the flea’s mouth. His arm moves down to Izaya’s waist, pulling him in flush against his body. The louse lets out an eager moan and he licks into Shizuo’s mouth in such a filthy way it makes Shizuo’s head spin. Shizuo grabs the back of his head, forcing him to turn so he can kiss back even deeper.

If Shizuo’s body had been hot before it was practically on fire now. Like his blood had turned to molten lava, coming to a boil in his gut before an eruption. Holding onto Izaya right now was like trying to hold onto a wild animal. He pulled Shizuo in by the collar of his shirt, and at the same pressed in even closer if that was possible, rubbing his body up against Shizuo’s with untamed fervour.

Shizuo groaned at the way Izaya’s hips slotted against his, the way their groins rubbed together. He moved a hand to Izaya’s ass, desperate to pull that friction closer to him, gripping so hard he was sure there would be bruises in the shape his fingerprints left behind.

“Fuck,” Shizuo’s forced to break the kiss, forced to come up for air. Izaya dives down to his neck, leaving a trail of fire behind as he licks and sucks at Shizuo’s skin. Shizuo’s mouth is parted as he gasps for breath, hand kneading at the taut muscle of Izaya’s ass. God, his fucking ass, it was perfect.

Izaya’s hands move from his neck to his chest, clawing at his clothes. He moves downwards, coming to the collar of Shizuo’s shirt. Shizuo’s not even able to take a breath before Izaya is ripping his vest and shirt open, the buttons flying off in several directions.

You-

Shizuo didn’t have a chance to even get angry at the cocky smirk on Izaya’s face before the flea was diving in to lick and kiss at his chest, his hands roaming their way downwards to the top of Shizuo’s pants. Every point of contact searing.

Fuck.

Shizuo’s mind was catching up to his dick, coming to terms with what was actually happening right now. When Izaya’s tongue licked over his nipple, Shizuo quickly raised a fist to his mouth and bit down.

He could hear Izaya’s satisfied chuckle against his skin, mouth biting and sucking on the hardening nub. He swirled his tongue around the tip, and Shizuo couldn’t help but groan as his dick jumped in his pants, his mind conjuring the image of the tip of that tongue circling the head of his cock.

Shizuo was completely floored, Izaya’s entire mouth should be deemed illegal. Hell, he should be fucking arrested for crimes against decency and just-just fuck, that fucking tongue.

Shizuo could only pant into the fist in his mouth, hearting racing as he looked down at the top of Izaya’s head as he traced Shizuo’s abs with his tongue, slowly making his way downwards.

“Oh fuck.”

Izaya was on his knees, tugging Shizuo’s pants open roughly.

This couldn’t be reality. They were standing in Shinra and Celty’s living room for fuck sakes, and the flea was on his fucking knees, looking like a man starving.

“Fuck, Izaya.”

“Heh, I quite like this side of you Shizu-chan,” how the hell could Izaya still sound so dam smug as he nuzzled Shizuo’s clothed cock. “You’re making really cute noises.”

Shizuo whimpered as Izaya mouthed his erection through his underwear.

Fucking hell.

“Oh? You’re getting quite wet here,” Izaya pressed his fingers against a wet patch above the head of Shizuo’s dick.

“Fuck, Izaya!”

Izaya closed his eyes, as if savouring the pleading way Shizuo had said his name. “I could almost come hearing you sound like this.”

Illegal. That mouth should be illegal. The absolute filth that spewed from it. Shizuo felt his cock twitch, and if Izaya’s self-satisfied smirk was anything to go by, so had he.

I could almost come at the sight of you on your knees flea.

Shizuo’s hips jerked a little as Izaya pulled his underwear down, exposing his hard cock to the air.

“Easy beast,” Shizuo could feel Izaya’s breath brush over his cock, as the flea braced a forearm across Shizuo’s navel.

How the hell could Izaya make that stupid nickname sound so dam sexy? He said it like he was hungry, no, ravenous.

I wanna touch you too.

With a trembling hand, Shizuo ran fingers through black silky locks. Izaya was staring up at him with those hooded eyes from earlier, black-red amaro liqueur overtaking brown whiskey, just like the cocktail he had made him. Dark and bitter and hot.

He is stunning.

Without breaking eye contact, Izaya brushed his lips against the head of Shizuo’s cock in a chaste kiss.

Shizuo almost came right then and there.

“Fuck!”

Izaya laughed, the fucking tease. “That’s the idea, ne?”

And then Izaya swallowed his cock down almost down to the root, and Shizuo buckled at the waist, barely keeping on his feet. The moist heat that enveloped him was enough to drive him crazy, enough for him to want to grab Izaya by the head and fuck into that wet mouth with a ferocity only befitting a beast.

Izaya hummed, the noise a vibration against his cock. Shizuo’s hand was fisted in his hair, twisting so harshly it had to be painful, but the flea just looked back up at him with those eyes like dark Italian liqueur.

“Y-you look so fucking good right now flea, with my cock in your mouth.” Shizuo’s is surprised the words come out, his voice low and filthy.

Izaya moans at that, palming his at his own cock over his pants at Shizuo’s words. Shizuo can’t help the way his hips buck at the sight, but Izaya’s arm holds him down.

Slick velvet heat moves up his shaft, Izaya tonguing at the slit before releasing Shizuo’s cock with a harsh suck to the head. “If you can still talk I must be doing something wrong.”

Shizuo brain was meanwhile leaking out of his ears from Izaya’s rough treatment. Izaya shoots him a wicked grin, a devilish turn of his lips that promises sweet, hot things to come.

The flea dives back down, Shizuo’s mouth parted and panting, unable to stop the moans as Izaya’s head bobs up and down.

His head jerking.

Wait, no.

Lifeless eyes.

Stop.

Rutting, grunting. The revolting sound of pleasure as a dark stain bloomed outwards.

No, no, no.

He can no longer see, thrown back into that hellish day. Shizuo is standing in the doorway, body frozen as Izaya’s lifeless eyes stare out at him. The body atop of his is grunting with its brutal onslaught, Izaya’s head forced to bob with each violent thrust, and Shizuo can’t move, can’t do anything but watch.

Watch as someone fucks Izaya’s dead body.

“What the fuck Shizuo!?”

Shizuo lashes out, against the horror of it all, throwing Izaya away from him with violent strength and fear. He can’t hear the sound Izaya’s body makes as it hits the floor, the huff of air that is forced from the flea’s lungs as he is winded by the force, it doesn’t piece through flashes of memory, through a mind trapped by terror, because all he can hear is the sound of groaning sick pleasure.

Shizuo hunches over, trying to put his softening dick back into his pants with shaking hands. His breathing is coming out in harsh gasps, and a small part of his mind thinks he might actually pass out from lack of oxygen. But none of that matters, all that matters is he has to get out, has to get away.

Izaya moves from where he had landed painfully on the floor, hands reaching out for Shizuo.

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

Izaya flinches back, Shizuo’s voice ripping from him like a physical blow.

“Shizu-chan...”

Shizuo can’t fucking breathe.

“Don't, just don’t.”

Get out, just fucking get out of there.

His mind was far away, still trapped in that apartment, that day, fear pushing his body forward.

In a flash he was out the door and running, leaving Izaya on the floor wide-eyed and stunned, wondering what the hell had just happened.

#shizaya #orihara izaya #heiwajima shizuo #drrr #durarara #orihara izaya x heiwajima shizuo #orihara izaya/heiwajima shizuo #whump #whumptober2020 #heart over ice #fanfic #my fic #fic mention #writing mention #shizaya whumptober 2020 #B A N T E R

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a-x-ce · 7 years

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My Anime Expo Experience

Finally writing this up before I forget because my memory is CRAP.

First con woot woot! This is mega long, probably don’t read it unless you absolutely MUST know about how this went.

The Good

Before I even got to the con I researched and planned and bookmarked and researched some more and came to the conclusion that for me, the highlight of a con, is to do things you can only do at that year. I looked over the panels, the premieres, and decided THAT was what I wanted to prioritize. They did not disappoint. I went to two premieres, the Welcome to the Ballroom premiere and The Ancient Magus' Bride premiere, for the first one we got to watch the first two episodes, and for the latter we saw the first THREE episodes. And they blew me away, especially Magus which by episode 3 already had me crying, I could not be more stoked for that to start airing. I then went to two panels which I HAD to go to, one being the FLCL panel, where we got to see the season 2 and (kind of) season 3 trailer a whole 5 minutes before they dropped that shit everywhere else (kind of lame) but what we got added on was “some” information in regards to the series, which made up for us not really getting to see the trailers before everyone else. And then I went to the Studio TRIGGER panel which was awesome! It started with them shooting fake money at us and if you got a special stamped version it got you access to their signing (didn’t get one but kind of didn’t care) and then followed into them playing a hilarious short video which was this bizarre mix of all kinds of shit and ended on them singing the national anthem?! It was funny as all hell. They pretty much spent the majority talking about Little Witch Academia which, I’ll admit, I kind of put on hold after like episode 5...BUT they spent that time giving us all kinds of back story and information on the various characters which was fascinating. Finally though, the main focus was them releasing information on their upcoming projects (which was why most of us were there) and the first two were kinda okay, nothing too much to get us excited, but boy, the hype they built around the last project got the room in a frenzy of excitement! Promare has the potential to be another classic anime for this studio, working with the people who helped bring Kill la Kill to life, as well as Gurren Lagann! You bet your asses I was stoked for this! 100% worth it. I also got free shit at all of these premieres, posters mainly, but I also got a cool Anime Strike pin when going to see Welcome to the Ballroom.

Another thing I ended up loving was actually doing shit in the exhibit hall. When I was sitting my butt in line for an autograph ticket to meet Miyu Irino I got to talking with my fellow line sitters, and one person I talked to gave me all kinds of tips and tricks to getting even more free stuff! She told me about 2 scavenger hunts going on for two of the booths, one got me a free Sailor Moon scarf, and one got me a free CD and a poster for a new game! They were a pain in the ass to get, but that’ll be talked about more in The Bad.

After having figured out you can just ask cosplayers for a picture I manged to get the coolest picture of a Guts and Casca pair and it’s the highlight of every image I took at the con. I wish I had taken more because there were a lot of cosplayers I wanted pictures of. I missed out on a Euphie and Suzaku and I’m still sad about it :’(

The last thing I’ll say I loved was the actual experience of trying to get Miyu Irino’s autograph. Not the actual getting his autograph, but sitting in line with other fans and con goers in the line to get tickets...to get an autograph...in which I met and talked with quite a few really cool and nice people!

The Bad

The sheer size of this event is ridiculous. It’s so ridiculous in fact they split events between the Convention Center and the Marriott hotel behind the Staples Center. And whoever ran this event was a dumbass and decided that the doors open at 8 am, but none of the major halls open until 10, soooooo, you had a 2 hour gap where hundreds to thousands of people flooded the main floor creating the most hazardous sight I’ve ever seen. Seriously, this was a fire martial’s worst nightmare if you saw this mess. Luckily I only saw this disaster on day 4 ‘cause I had spent the whole damn night on the street. Otherwise I came later on day’s 2 and 3 because to me coming early was meaningless.

And I did that because getting into the center on day 1 was absolute bullshit. I came a day early to pick up my badge thinking it would cut out waiting in line even longer. No, it didn’t matter. The mass of people outside waiting to get in, and the chaos of even trying to FIND the line TO GET IN, took hours! It was such a goddamn mess that they released a statement that same day saying they WOULD fix the issue. Luckily they did and getting in on day 2 and 3 literally took minutes. What a joke.

Staff for the most part was utterly clueless when it came to finding anything and I fucking hated it. When trying to find the line for Miyu’s panel I got run around the whole damn building, which in the end paled in fucking comparison to the run around I got put on trying to find the autograph booths which were different from the general ticket booths which in the end had ANYONE known fucking anything was a whole lot easier to find if they explained it better...

Lines for larger events were a NIGHTMARE. The Marriott is NOT designed for the sheer number of people lining up for the events held there. I thought it was bad for Magus, oh no, oh no no no, even the Lupin the III game premiere line was not remotely as horrible as what I caught just a glimpse of for the Tokyo Ghoul live-action premiere. That was capped off practically THREE hours before it even played, that’s how crazy popular this event was. I missed it because of that and ended up kind of disappointed.

Crowding. Holy fuck was this bad. Not even splitting the con between two buildings reduces the sheer number of people in EVERY given space. The artist Alley, crowded, the Exhibit Hall, FUCKING MEGA CROWDED! Moving in the Exhibit Hall was the worst. Add on terrible cell service, add on the fact that the ATM’s were few and far between (and sometimes not fucking working), add on the fact that some sellers use onsite conversion so if your card doesn’t automatically accept you making a purchase in like, Canada, you’re gonna have a bad time...the crowding even makes the fun things not all that fun.

The Disappointing

Cosplay gatherings. Oh boy were these underwhelming. I think the only one I ended up kind of enjoying was the Osomatsu-san gathering I went to on day 1, but aside from that the bigger they got the more chaotic they got, the ruder people become, and just overall super frustrating. What was even more kind of a bummer was that for most of the gatherings I saw the cosplayers walking around the convention at various points and could have MUCH EASIER asked them for a picture rather than deal with the crowding of gatherings. Not to mention when smaller gatherings were made up of people who had gone before and knew each other, as a newcomer you definitely feel left out. It gave off that click vibe and that was really disheartening. Some of these gatherings were definitely not “newbie” friendly which made them even less interesting and makes me not want to go to them again.

Miyu Irino. I have gone back and forth on this one, but after this much time I realize between his panel and the actual autograph this was one of the more disappointing experiences I had. First off, his panel. It lasted one hour, if it was not already bad enough that they split the line where premiere fans got to be inside the building, the rest of us had to figure out where the fuck the OUTSIDE line was. This was a pain in the ass, really, I was run around the whole fucking building to find this line, and by the time I did I was fortunate the line wasn’t too long, but I knew the reason for that was ONLY because no one else could find this fucking line.

So after getting let in late, we sit and we’re told right away we can’t take pictures or video. And originally I thought that was fine, maybe we’d hear some new content they didn’t want getting out. No. No we spent an hour talking about old roles and getting information that I’m sure we could have gotten through any magazine or interview in probably ANY Japanese source. We learned literally nothing about any new work, there was honesty no reason why we shouldn’t have been able to take at least 1 or 2 pictures. It was also incredibly frustrating seeing someone in the row next to us break that rule anyway and got warned THREE times and STILL got to stay and see the panel. Like why make a rule of no pictures to the point where you threaten to remove anyone breaking that rule only to not enforce it? Pointless.

But anyway, so we spend our hour listening to him talk about various roles, pretty much skipping the one series I was even there for (Osomatsu-san, he voices Todomatsu) and essentially we run out of time for the Q&A where only 3 questions were asked. And no one could even bother to answer one of Miyu’s questions on why Americans like Osomatsu-san, since the ONE person he did try and ask didn’t even watch the show! It was so disappointing.

So I was not all that disappointed at the time but reflecting on it, it was kind of a bust. But I did not realize just how much worse it could get. Because Miyu was one of the most popular guests for AX this year a LOT of people wanted to see him. So many in fact that while I heard lines could start for autographs anywhere from 2 am to 4 am, people got in these lines starting on day 2 (for his session on day 3) at 8 fucking pm. And it was the exact same way on day 3 (for his session on day 4) in which as soon as I go turned away from the Tokyo Ghoul premiere I had really nothing else I wanted to do so since I saw someone on twitter already experience night 2 I went ahead and got in line at like, fucking 7 pm! I was 5th in line...

So I stayed awake for over 30+ hours to get a ticket, which I wasn’t even all that crazy about, I’m not a fangirl so this wasn’t some life changing thing for me, I just wanted the experience. I enjoyed the hell out of the actual staying awake and getting to know people though. So at 8 am they opened the booths, and everyone with a handicap got to go before anyone so while I was 5th in line I got the 12th ticket (kind of bullshit but whatever, given how the rest of us literally had to sleep on the sidewalk seeing people just walk up last minute and get tickets was frustrating). But once we had those tickets it was another 2 and a half hours until the signing, which was in the Artist Alley hall, which didn’t even open until freakin’ 10 anyway. So again there was nothing to do but wait.

So finally 10 roles around and we can get inside, I have my ticket and I go to find the line for Miyu, and as I get in line and waiting we’re eventually told that he will not be signing anything that isn’t related to his anime work.

Now, this is where I’ll deviate to tell you why this pissed me right the fuck off. Because I live in NV I had to leave unbelievably early to get to L.A. within a reasonable time to check into my hotel. There really wan’t much time earlier in my week to make a run to wal-mart or somewhere to get my pre-chosen images printed for his autograph. So, we had to run around parts of L.A. which is a shit hole for traffic because Californians CANNOT DRIVE (seriously, that’s not a joke, California drivers are THE biggest morons on the West coast) and getting anywhere was a headache. Then the actual process of getting these pictures printed was also a nightmare, because the printing station cropped the images so badly they ended up looking like shit, until finally, after about 40 minutes I got ONE (1) good image of him. It was a picture of HIM.

And he was only signing material that was anime related...yeah. So, now that the picture I had a nightmare printing was not an option, the only other one available to most was that they gave you a pre-signed poster from Akito the Exiled. Which was shitty, it was pre-signed so you wouldn’t even be able to get it autographed and talk to him even a bit! Why the fuck would anyone be happy about that when people stayed awake for HOURS specifically to get an autograph FROM HIM???? Luckily for me I invested time and money into making my Kara and Totty ita bag and had at least ONE official Todomatsu item which I ripped right out of my bag. I was ushered through the line by multiple people and spent a total of maybe 15 seconds in his presence. I said hello, he said hello, he signed my badge, I said thank you, he said thank you, and the experience was over. That was it.

And as I was leaving the line I was then asked by others in the line what the hell was happening because other people were also being screwed over by not knowing what he would or would not sign (this was literally something they needed to tell us BEFORE actually getting in line for the autograph for fucks sake). I spent some time answering them and leaving. Where I proceeded to notice quite a few girls crying as they were the ones who were denied an autograph being ‘standby’ ticket holders. Miyu did NOT take ANY standby ticket holders on either day. So for anyone who sat up all night and managed to get their hands on one of the extra tickets, it did not matter. Which really, was kind of shitty seeing he really didn’t even do much while there. He had 2 panels, and two autograph sessions, one on each day. One of his panels wasn’t even a focus on him, he was included in the Akito the Exiled panel since he was a VA on it, but he was with others who worked on the show. And since our hour and a half Miyu exclusive panel was cut short to being only an hour since it started late!!! he spent even less time doing things he was signed up to do.

I decided that as a result unless it’s Tanaka-san or anyone else from One Piece I am never sitting in line for an autograph again.

Lastly, I learned that while it’s fun to meet up with people to hang out and try and do things together, you cannot let them try and control your experience. I missed absolutely everything I wanted to do on day 1 because I allowed myself to be guided around by another person. Which initially I was grateful for, as a first-timer I had no clue where things were, but that’s where my day 1 was fucked. There were things and ways to go about this that I planned that didn’t work out, and as a result I missed things I wanted to do. And I told myself at the time it wasn’t a big deal, but since I ended up so goddamn exhausted on day 4 I left early and missed even more stuff I wanted to do...so essentially of my 4 days I only truly enjoyed 2 of them to the fullest. Because on days 2 and 3 I put my foot down and decided no matter what I would do the things I fucking came to do regardless of anyone else and I ended up having a blast. It wasn’t even lonely doing those things by myself, because I had fun! And that’s what mattered.

So yeah, in the end I learned some valuable lessons for my first con, especially at one as big as Anime Expo! I know what I want to do next year, I now know what I don’t really care about, and I know what I absolutely will not be doing again. I hope from these lessons next year I can have even more fun and thoroughly enjoy my 4 days! Also there’s probably some stuff I missed in this post so not sure if I’ll do another part, most likely not since this got hella fucking long...

#Sab's random shit #Hella long post #my AX experience 2017

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