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psychelis-new · 10 months

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Hi Lys~

Idk if you’ve answered this before but how did you get into divination? What started your journey? And do you have anyone around who’s into it as well? A friend or a mentor?

(feel free to ignore any of the Q’s if it’s too personal 🌱)

Hi :) I haven't answered this question yet and it's fine dw (but there may be a triggering mention -I'll signal that).

It happened by chance (or by fate, as I like to think). A few years ago, I joined tumblr with a blog about something unrelated (graphic edits, music... in particular something that I had not just much before got into -again by chance/fate), and somehow I ended up in the astrology and tarots communities. I have always kinda felt attracted by astrology and tarots, especially astrology tbh, but never got that deep into them. They just happened to be around me too and I occasionally used to read some astrology-related stuff by myself. Anyway, I joined a couple of games here and there just to check, and then I had a dream which totally made me think and realize I could do something more as well. I tried to learn more about tarots also on youtube and other sources but in the meantime I worked the most with my intuition and clairs (even if at that time I wasn't too aware it was them -always kinda used them unconsciously btw), trying to do something for others too and gaining experience/understanding what was going on. I made my own tarot deck and started to implement it in my practices (using it first with myself to see how and if it worked); then I created a bunch of small one-word cards and tried to work with them as well and I ended up channeling something very very touching (and funny LOL) for me from one of my Guides (which I think is... also my person, Idek), that connected also with the start of my journey into divination (that fated thing I mentioned in the beginning). (TW) I had another sign about this one pretty cold and foggy day in which I felt particularly down and like I had no way out (I had important depression periods and some kind of thoughts about me, let's say, in a certain moment of my life): first a little bird happily singing out of my window and then a song related to my feelings in that moment that was mentioned to be released soon kinda brought me back and avoided the worst (very likely) (/TW). I got back up and I kept giving as a way to help and possibly give hope the same way I got helped and given hope (probably did that a bit too much though as my boundaries weren't good), and got a burnout, after which I had a breakdown (or huge tower moment, if you want) because of too many tough things happening in my personal life, and I just had to move away for a while to start my healing journey on my own. I kept practicing for myself just for comfort (my Guides were always sending me messages and never left me alone). After I started to feel better I decided (I needed, actually) to come back as psychelis, with a lot of thick walls that I had builded up from all that I have been through, but still I wanted to be of help to you. By chance I realized I had developed more clairs than before but controlling them was still hard. Then yeah the bug happened and moved onto this blog, where I am still trying to learn, heal and help you. And trying to let down my walls so to probably help you better, Idk. I don't have friends or mentors into tarots or astrology tbh, I am alone in this (except for my Guides which basically taught me most of what I know now through meditation and constant talking). Not sure if I will meet someone in the future, but I hope so.

That's it ig... Have a good day!

#.#asks #psychelis talk

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defensivelee · 2 years

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HELLO I wanna scream about this insane novel called Dark Eagle: A Novel of Benedict Arnold and the American Revolution by John Ensor Harr and you’ll never fuckin guess but it’s about Benedict Arnold. I have a lot to say about it actually so,,,,carry on if you want to,,,TW for mentions of pedophilia

also the image quality is a little SHIT sorry about that >:(

FIRST OFF I actually like this book for the most part. It was written in a tolerableee way in toleraaaable language and Arnold was really fun to read. I always see him as trying to act as some Tigerstar-esque villain (from the Warrior cats series) but he can literally never manage it because he’s surrounded by some average dude-bros. But this book somehow does it right even though everyone else is even more dude-bro than before. Arnold is just the right amount of menacing and (unintentionally) goofy in this book so it’s fun to read him fucking up everything!

That being said this book explains a ton and I mean LIKE A TON. Harr out here acting like he’s explaining this to 12-year-olds. WHICH HE ISN’T. I’M NOT TWELVE AND YOU’RE NOT EITHER. SOME OF YOU ARE EVEN 400!

Anyway Gates is here. Gates was one of my first dead blorbos so it was really amusing to see him here! He’s so UNNECESSARILY FUNNY ISTG

I HAD TO READ THAT WITH MY EYES MR. HARR 😭😭

Well if you know me you know I’m an absolute SLUT for Arnold and Gates before they fell out and this book is chef’s fucking kiss for that. It is SO NICE and SO SWEET how it shows their friendship like they’re just fucking DUDES man. THEY’RE JUST BROS HANGING OUT

ISN’T THIS THE NICEST FUCKING THING!!! Like FUCK MAN what happened at Saratoga DESTROYS ME especially with how Harr portrays it because they’re such!!! friends!!! Anyway yeah I’m so normal about that thanks Mr. Harr you get a 10/10 on this aspect

Now about Peggy and Arnold....FUCK IT THEY’RE ADORABLE HERE LIKE HARR SAID “y’all are going to LOVE EACH OTHER” and just jkdjksjkdsjkd

LIKE ALL OF THIS!! IS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW!! He keeps on thinking she’s beautiful and she’s so supportive and dkjfkjdskjsjkajsj they’re so in love here. THANK YOU AGAIN MR. HARR 10/10 ON THIS!!

In general I think Arnold slaps here and I will talk about him again at the end because this is a novel about him after all! But now I want to talk about *drumroll* JOHN FUCKING BURGOYNE!!!

Honestly I don’t have a lot to say on him. Why the fuck was he even here. He’s ffffine I guess and we get to have him staring at some tits and this really hilarious scene where he looks at himself in the mirror

rlflrlpfppwppwwqwqqqq okay then Mr. Burgoyne

I feel like he’s just here for comic relief tbh kind of unnecessary BUT I’m not complaining because he was still funny. If Harr was trying to make me laugh he won.

It’s André time now,,,,BASICALLY IDEK BECAUSE MR. HARR MADE HIM GAY AS FUCK and also kind of a creep because he had this weird interest in an eleven-year-old boy??

*sigh* I guess this is Mr. Harr’s novel and André being a fuckin twink is fine ig but it just feels like the casual pedophilia thrown in is like?? just going along with the stereotype that every gay man wants your little son?? idk if that was Harr’s intention but it just irks me because HI I’M GAY

But let me tell you something André proceeding to be Clinton’s boyfriend shot me, hit me across the head like a frying pan, etc, etc.

Now here again we have a mention of André’s sick “preferences” and then it just seems like he went ahead and rolled his ass over just for the promotion. Which alright valid I guess but JESUS IT’S SO FUCKING INSANE

And then there’s this scene. It’s probably the funniest thing I’ve ever read in any book ever,

But then there’s that and idkkk yeahhh pretty accurate,,,this is after he receives that last letter from André and he would deffo burst into tears over it! So very sad actually if I had read that without the knowledge that Clinton was tapping that ass here I would have cried :((

The death scene was fine. idk kinda boring

BUT NOW HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT LAST PART??? THE VERY LAST PAGE??? Let me tell you something man before my being on this hellsite was even dreamed about (where I found this book thank you Horacio), my thoughts, my headcanon said that when everyone found out André died, they would all stand around the table and Clinton would look up at Arnold and give him a hard stare.

And then they would all glare at him, blaming him entirely for André’s death, and he would back away and leave, limp away, in this sort of daze.

THIS BOOK ACTUALLY DID THAT??? LIKE MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

WHAT THE FUCKKKKK MAN I GET CHILLS FROM READING THIS EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Like this is EXACTLY it THANK YOU MR. HARR. I’m so obsessed with this ending for the book it’s fucking PERFECT. This is actually my favorite thing about the book and words cannot describe how fucking normal I am about this.

Overall, I could read this again without dying, André is just fucking ANNOYING. Why can’t a piece of media get him RIGHT for God’s sake

But otherwise a solid book and I enjoyed it fr!! If you have a sense of humor you should be good to read it. It’s all here https://archive.org/details/darkeaglenovelof00harr/mode/2up (though I own a physical copy)

#phew this was long #benedict arnold #whalecum to my opinions #john burgoyne #sir henry clinton #john andré #peggy shippen

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groovy-bear · 2 years

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LT Apartment AU

I'm just copy and pasting what I came up with on a whim in discord

@ghostarwarrior if you have ideas on this I love to chat with you <3

Neighbor AU (apartments) Íthro lives on the third floor, Glanni on the second floor below Íthro, Robbie on the first floor and Sport on the highest floor like six or something Ithro jumping around doing his exercises and Glanni gets annoyed by all the stomping sounds, he often blasts music, one time he threw like potatoes at the ceiling bc he couldn't find a broom, (idek why he has potatoes maybe he was going throw them at ducks or something when taking a break from bulling the kids at the park maybe) as he's doing that he prolly hurts his back or arm or hip whatever cause he's in bad shape and walks like an old man so his fault. A few potatoes definitely hit him on the way down

Anyways Robbie does maintenance stuff for the people in the building, the owners Milford and Bessie live on the first floor a door away from Robbie, so Robbie bumps into them all the time even when he's being sneaky, Bessie somehow always finds him and starts chatting about random gossip or sum, they often exchange dessert recipes

Íthro thinks Glanni's grumpy mood is amusing he finds him funny and finds himself hoping he'll bump into him when he leaves for the gym in the mornings. But Glanni is not a morning person at all, he is a mess, comes out the door in pink bunny slippers and black thin silky robe that's way too short (he sleeps in the nude probs)

Sport and Íthro go to the gym every single morning, on days Íthro is not awake/ready before him (which has been happening a lot more recently🤨wonder is Glanni has anything to do with that) he waits at the bottom of the stairs on the first floor. Robbie coming out his door tired and dead inside holding a big Garfield coffee mug (BC EVERYONE NEEDS A GARF MUG I SWEAR) and gets his breakfast delivery (he orders from some pastry place nearby, gets little cakes and stuff delivered to him most mornings) and Sport sees him tries to make conversation, Stephanie sometimes pops out on her way to school, happy that they're getting along and skips out the building with the other kids not far behind her. Also thanks to @coda-clownery for the idea of making Afrám Íthro the cryptid of the building

Here's a layout of each person's apartment, but I just realized that Sport should be ten, and I might move things around with the numbers, like the numbers aren't in order or something just so I can have Sport as 10 and also staying in the same spot maybe

Also where Afrám Ithro is i feel like it'd be a sus ominous like empty/abandoned apartment that the kids are scared of

There's also another building next to it that's a bit smaller and worse, I just wanted Maggibæt to happen and include the mayhem town gang, i figured that the Mr kicker dude whatever could own the second building ig

I think it's a lil silly whack that the mayhem town gang and officer loli would live in the same building

Also Im prolly gonna stick with Ithro and Sport are brothers and Glanni and Robbie are cousins

As modern AU jobs.. I'm not sure

I feel like Ithro could be some sort of personal trainer or something. Robbie probably invents stuff and gets good amount of money but also lives off of like inheritance money, I don't even know what to say about Glanni, Idk a stripper lmao, Sport.. I'm not sure still thinking

Last but not least I'm happy to answer questions or thoughts about this or any of my posts ig so come talk to me about my hyper fixations🤘

#lazytown fandom #lazytown #glanni glæpur í latabæ #afram latibær

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daz4i · 2 years

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Bestie. Bestie. I know I've already sent him for a character meme before, but that was a long time ago and also this one is ~detailed~ so. Takuto, if you'll indulge me? :3

Also! If I may, I'm sending Akechi too 'cause we all want to talk about our blorbos ^^ <3

mwah thank you bestie 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

takuto:

What I like about them: he’s genuinely such an interesting character. his role in the story is generally such a sexy one (anti-villains are p rare from my experience so it’s so cool to see one). i love his confidant and even his class questions and his presence is genuinely very calming

What I dislike about them: why are you me. i’m me

Favourite moment: that one scream after the fist fight. you know the one

Least favourite moment: hmmmmm not sure if i have one i particularly dislike but ig while they’re very plot and character important, his one on one conversations with the thieves can be a bit slow and at times even uncomfortable to watch bc of second hand embarrassment lmao

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more: i really wanna know what happens to him in his reality! we see him basically become a nobody, the thieves don’t recognize him, and i assume it’s his doing? so i’m curious, once everyone’s happiness is actualized, what does he have left to do?? what does he do??? pls i need answers

An interesting AU for this character: curious to think abt how thing’s would’ve gone if he told akira from the start he knows they’re the pt and abt the metaverse and cogpsi. like, how would the thieves react? would they be more guarded around him, or more open? would he become a confidant to them all? idk it’s interesting!!!! idek if it counts as an au bc it’s more canon divergence but eh.

A crossover: i’m ngl my brain is flat out of ideas. fuck it. the bible. biggest crossover of the year. ig it’s technically already canon but anyway

OTP: takuto x you u3u

Other ships?: takurumi ofc! and i think his ship with zenkichi is cute!

BROTP: shibusawa true bro xx

NOTP: whatever his ship with akira is called. for obvious reasons

An assortment of headcanons! (but this post is long enough as is so i’m limiting myself to one): that man lives in the lamest ass apartment you’ve seen in your life. he does NOT get paid enough to afford more. rip king

goro:

What I like about them: the mental illness(es) and everything else also

What I dislike about them: uuuuuuuh ig he’s got some moments that give me second hand embarrassment?? esp in his detective persona. i’m sorry goro you posted cringe you’re gonna lose subscriber

Favourite moment: any time he’s being unhinged during the third semester 😍 but esp as a navi

Least favourite moment: genuinely can’t choose bc any moment that may be cringe is just so funny or i’m simply too happy he’s there that i can’t bring myself to dislike it. ig in his original confidant some of the ranks were a bit boring? so just pick one of those rank ups where he just says how interesting it is to talk to akira despite us never seeing them talk

A situation with this character that I want to see explored more: you know that deleted content from royal where he’s in a rehab center? yeah i wanna know what’s up with that and have more information and see how he heals and how he is afterwards

An interesting AU for this character: actual detective goro........ him solving crimes he didn’t commit himself.......... solving mysteries........... connecting dots and following leads...... perhaps with a trusty partner who looks great in drag called watso- *gets shot*

A crossover: i’m making him besties with dimitri fire emblem even if it’s the last thing i do

OTP: my special little polycule of goro x akira x haru x yusuke. but also just akeshu

Other ships?: akekita, akeharu, ryugoro

BROTP: futago and anngoro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOTP: recently found out some ppl actually ship him with shido and well. i’m not here to police anyone’s ships but Keep That Shit Away From Me

Extra headcanon: autistic king. masking expert and hyperaware of people’s perception of him due to years of trauma. his special interest is featherman. stims by fiddling with his gloves. i’m right about this

send some characters?

#long post

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karatekid1 · 3 months

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hi guys it been a while. Well, everything right now feels like its going up and down all the time, like on monday, three days ago, my life felt so good, i was so happy, then everything went downhill again on tuesday. today is thursday and idek how im feeling, i dont got any apeitie, and my life just feel so depressing. i realized yesterday that heartstopper is like a core memory to me, like i havent watched it since season 2 came out bc people started calling it cringe and i actually started to think it were. i was just a kid back then it feels like, because every day i get older and i feel embarressed for my younger self, in like a few months i think that this me whos writing this is gonna be so cringe, why are we like that? or maybe thats just me. but what i mean is that yesterday i listened to some of the soundtrack songs, i just felt warm and happy inside, and it kept doing everytime i listeend to the songs, i stayed up til 3 am last night just rewatching the first season and it made me cry actually idk why but it just brings me so much comfort. anyway, uni going fine ig, some subjects are really terrible, but im surviving. me and benjamin (the nick to my charlie) are still together and idk tbh how hes feeling ab me atp, like im so fucking stupid and annoying i think hes getting tired of it. i feels like im slowly loosing my mind again bc of everything. i hate myself for the way i act towards people. most people i know would call me nice, they do, but then i literally argue with everyone over stupid shit just bc i am sensetive. and i dont know how to deal with myself, i just get so easily mad and jealous of everyone and its starting to spread out more over the people i love which is not meant to happen but i cant control it. how much i try to be nick, will continue to always be charlie. what was i made for? i dont even know myself anymore. people say they're proud of me but i will literally treat them like shit without even realizing it myself. all i really want is to be seen and heard, but i end up embarresing myself, overshare or just make people upset. im just a failure, im not supposed to be here, i dont fit in. i dont know whats right or wrong anymore i just want to live my life, but im literally just miserable. i try so hard everyday, to get people to like me, to make me like myself a little bit more and not hating myself, but when ive done something wrong i cant even realise my mistake until so long after ive done it, and i feel so stupid. i dont deserve to live the life that i do. i dont deserve any of this. i try to be like everyone else, i try to be interesting but if you try too hard no one is gonna like you. and if youre not interesting people wont wanna hang out with you bc youre boring. you should be funny but not mean, you should be perfect but not fake, you shoulld be thin but not starve, you should be smart not a tryhard, you should be yourself but not different, you should be happy but not annoying, you should be kind but not too kind because then people will use you for their own good. i hate humans, i hate what we've made this world into. sorry this became a whole vent post but im just so tired of living without having anything to live FOR.

#what was i made for #menatl health #what was i thinking #what was i doing #i hate everything #heartstopper #comfort

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roseandpatchouli · 2 years

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Airport Carry On Essentials

how to avoid overpacking, underpacking and misshaps for 16hr long haul flights.

call me crazy but if there is one thing i focus on, it’s when characters pack and organize things in their bags. idek why but i’m completely fixated, and sometimes freeze the frame and take pictures like these, ig it’s the virgo sun in me that likes to pay attention to detail and organization, and the envious and indecisive cancer rising in me that always seems to pack more than what i need to carry, which always ends up becoming a hassle. funny enough, i’m that detailed to nice the product placements (advertising, consumerism and capitalism, ig) - well, at least it’s not an real person i’m trying to cop- anw!, so — I’m taking a cue from these ladies over here from dare me and euphoria on what to bags to use in the airport. yes, this is how crazily in control and regimented i am when it comes to traveling because for long haul flights i want them to be hassle free, i don’t want to stress about the stuff i’m carrying, immigrations are stressful enough. ironically, we don’t even have a ticket or itinerary yet, but from what i know, we do have a routine to stay for a months in the states to visit relatives and family friends residing in different areas, and we usually stay with them for 2 - 3 weeks. so i will definitely need to travel light but pack /a lot/ of clothes for the check in, or maybe even need to shop there. however, when it comes to hand carries, i only bring essentials such as my phone, wallet, passport or some makeup for touchups — actually, that’s a lie. makeup isn’t even a necessity because you’ll be tired from the duration of the flight to even bother about your appearance. plus there’s duty free. but freshness and hygiene is important, so i do bring baby wipes small enough for the required flight and also airplanes provide replenishments for dental hygiene after every meal. for my carry on luggage, i seem to want to get a smaller but longer one, to put in extra clothes incase my luggage gets misrouted, which happened to my parents one trip, so most likely lightweight clothing that i know i will wear. maybe a pair of two jeans, two shorts one denim and one skort, and five shirts and ofc underwear. jersey and new york is a very casual city anyway depending on which side you’re on, and it looks like i’ll be there during the fall since it’s September. toiletries our out of the question because one time during check point someone had a “shampoo explosion” and it took a while to clean and sort out before they checked, must’ve been embarrassing for the people so knowing me with great anxiety i ain’t bringing any toiletries, you can get them while you’re in the states anyway. thank god my aunt lives near a cvs and target.

#dare me #euphoria #travel #airport essentials #plane ettiquette

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thesnowidol4life · 2 years

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akirui 😈

i hate you bestie but yeah i ship them in some type of way. theyre not among my favorites but theyre dangerously close thats for sure

1: What made you ship it?

ngl half the reason i started liking them is bc rui has so little romantic mlm content that isnt his biggest mlm ship (i don't wanna pop up in the searches but its obvious what) and im very desperate 💀. the other reason is they're so funny to me. like akito's gay and homophobic [>: (] while rui's gay and homophobic [>: 3], so the joke scenarios are top tier

2: What are you're favorite things about this ship?

in seriousness i think akito and rui having some kind of relationship w someone uninvolved w their units/someone theyve had established relationships w is nice. they're both pretty isolated characters so whenever either of them gain more interactions or better friendships w the other ocs it makes me very happy.

also i just like thinking about akito admiring how seriously rui takes being a director and as he becomes better friends w him and sees rui's softer side that he only really shows w wxs + mizuki and akito just going "oh. oh no. no, not him." is amazing.

and yknow. i just like. rui being loved. i think he deserves all kinds of love. i should get that checked out.

but for the joke answer i think the vbs/wxs being simultaneously protective and scared of akirui is beneficial for everyones serotonin levels (insert the time me and another friend were joking about how akito shouldn't worry about approval from rui's parents, he needs to worry about whether or not NENE approves of him. one of the best scenario talks we've had fr)

3: Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

ive seen so little unironic akirui content that idek what's considered unpopular but ig the idea that there isnt anything more to it than being a crack ship. Theres definitely stuff there to work with esp w how issue ridden these two are so im just sitting here waiting for something.

(okay wait actually idt that this should count as unpopular but ill include it anyway. im dying out here w the currently 7 akirui fics in the ao3 tag and only being able to enjoy half of them yes i mean the other half are smut i am on the floor begging. give rui more mlm content that isnt just the one specific ship akirui is literally right there's stuff you can work w there pls <3)

#akirui my meme ship but i am willing to fight people over them #i hate how this made me realize i liked akirui more than i thought #'bi but no one wants then so they end up wanting each other' that's the dynamic fuck it #this is also my call to action for people to make more akirui content #i would try but i am literally using all my brainpower to try to complete all my ruinene works and if i don't finish that first #i will explode thats just how it is

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keiksy-cake · 3 years

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43 - Refracting Circuit (Nyo!AusHun Doujinshi)

AFTER LONG LAST

I am done translating...

It was actually 39 pages and not 20, this was pretty rushed and done a bit lazily so I apologize for any errors TwT

idky their memories of it are different but ig that happens irl

TN:

CW also for a slap up ahead, I forgot to include that in the “page” above :(

F to Hungary having to wait 311 years

Tbh I just find it so so funny and cursed that, of all things, Italy bit Austria, like that’s just so funny and random to me

Disclaimer: I have no idea what Romano was saying, but I think the ass hurting part was at least right, I hope I wasn’t too far off

I tried to make sound like Ye Old English, I think I did poorly but I like to imagine Spain making it up to be extra as well XD

I can’t tell which I love more, Romano attempting to communicate in those very weird signals, Spain being somewhat able to understand him, or this guy’s awesome entrance

They’re so mean to him, he just wanted to sing TwT

Translated with permission. Pixiv ID: 86655947

Did I promise to translate this just because Nyo!Austria is really pretty and we need more Nyo content? Yes, very much so.

After a whole month, I finally finished TwT Tbf, 2 of those weeks I was super super busy. I recently started applying to jobs, so I very busy with all that. Tomorrow I’m supposed have an interview but honestly I’ve already to chicken out and not go through with it ^^;;

Whether or not I get a job soon, I’ll likely be very busy from here on, either applying to jobs, or doing my “job” :( I’m very sad with this and will miss my free time and all my hobbies but I really do have start cutting back on each of my hobbies. I’ll likely still translate since I have a horrible habit of procrastinating and revenge procrastination, but I won’t be able to post regularly anymore. Then again, maybe I’ll chicken out from getting a job...

But anyways, it was taking so long to translate this so today I decided “okay, I’m not going to text back my friends until I finish this” (I had about 9 pages left att btw), and so it really motivated me to finish since I have anxiety and wanted to get back to my friends asap lol. It was also an excuse to not prepare for my interview which I’ve pretty much decided to not take part in, oof.

I really just wanted to get this one over with, like it’s been a whole month since I said I was going to do it, so I a lot of the translation was done lazily, particularly the parts of text that are super long, they overwhelm me :( Idek if I got the title right, it’s so weird but every site I went to said those two kanji say “refract” “circuit” so I guess that’s the case. As you all know, I’m no professional in translating nor Japanese in general but I like to do this since literally no one else is doing it and I feel it’s better than nothing, so I hope you all still enjoy these :)

Maybe since s7 just came out, there will come some new Hetalia doujin translator who can do a much better job~ Hopefully they will be moral enough to not only credit the original artists/writers, but to also ask permission like I do. Sadly, most doujin translators don’t :/

#hetalia #aph hetalia #hetalia doujinshi #hetalia dj #APH Austria #APH Hungary #nyotalia #nyo austria #nyo hungary #aushun #translation

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lunar-fey · 3 years

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been trying to nap for almost 2 hours but i gues im just not done . so much below cut. mostly incoherent and unspaced.

for one thing im just like. i dont know how to word this but like if your hr....... you should do. that. literally got told i wasnt approved to keep working after i move bc i didnr work all my hours last month but its like ya i have medical problems thwre on file and i EVEN used to get days off w fmla for it and like. few months ago i requested to have my hours lowered so i could miss less work and they were like. no bc you need to start working what you have first like...im asking for a solution to the problem of i cant work this many hours and in order to let me be allowed to work less. first i habe to "prove" i can work more. like that makes sense

and its lime my supervisor has been teying to figure out who exactly handles rhe approval all MONTH and its this new hr lady ive never met before and since his supervisor refused to tell him that its like. you know probably no one bothered to even inform her a little bit abt my entire situation and its just.. why as an hr person would you make that decision without speaking to me first? it is so easy? so easy to fire someone after 6 years who has a clean no violations record and is just very sick? and parently no one even knows if im "fired" or "quit" anyway so idek if i can apply for unemployment i gotta look into it ig

and its like my mom im so pissed at bc i guess she was talking her dr and telling him ant this other dr i saw once who wouldnt do testing just said my pain fake go home. and her dr got pissed on my behalf so cool but literally we wouldnt be here right now if she had taken my health seriously as a child instead fo trying to cure me w home remedies of pouring peroxide steaight into my ear and leaving it for 5 minutes and stuff. ya the sizzling sound means its killing the infection yeah SURE and im gonna be so psychotic whilw im there too bc im like barely. coherent rn but the first time someone screams at me im either gonna deck them or dissociate (bad timeline) or they may even push me into an episode. and its going to be sooo funny bc rhey thonk hallucinating all the time and sometimes be in g delisional is just normal. everyone hears their name being called from a dismbodied voice multiple times a day yanno normal :)

and theres like more but im getting less and less coherent. im just tired.

edition with more coherency: in short i been like on the Verge of breaking down for the last couple months with my only hope being if i could keep my job i could move back out after just a couple months and now i may very well be stuck living with my parents at least until sister graduates high school bc skerples doesnt wanna move in w me while she still has to deal w our parents. which is 2 more years unless she emancipates herself (well she is already getting a job anyway but i can barely support myself let alone a minor is the point and my parents like. own a house and i dont so something tells me the courts wont wanna give me custody of her)

but like im fine. im fine i can take it one day at a time and im FINE im just. tired and angry and. stuff.

#positivenews here. in tags #mom ig is going to try to help me get on disability (she is on) and that is my one ray of light.#if i can take a couple months of unemployment (if i can GET it)#nd just focus on health. and get ssi.#it would be so sexy and cool but i know how hard that shit is.

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khaotungsfirst · 3 years

Text

ali‘s embarrassing celebrity crushes throughout the years

thank you to @fengqing for wanting me to expose myself, i hope y’all don’t judge me too much 🥴i had to go through my archive to remember most of these cause as fast as these crushes hit me sometimes, some of them went away just as quickly.

tagging: @schnaf @manhasetardis @morifinwes @xiaodaozhang @huigusu @yibocrisis

ok here we go, putting it under a read more cause this got long

MEN (since 2006)

tom kaulitz nothing more attractive to 10 year-old me than this 15 year-old with dreadlocks and pants that hit the floor askdjhgkjfdg

joseph gordon-levitt i..... can’t even explain this?? lmao.. i mean inception was and is my favourite movie but not because of him so like??

niall horan niall girls unite!! i was a niall girl until i got into larry and then that was all i cared about for a long time ksadjgkdf but i still love him!

dan howell he was funny and british, that’s it

dylan o’brien listen every teen wolf fan was mainly there for him, don’t even lie about it

seb stan holy shit i was crushing on him so hard after the winter soldier came out. he was the epitome of perfection to me! this was a big one for me but it went downhill once he started growing out his hair afgkjdfgjkd retrospectively i’m not sure if i was only thirsting after him because everyone else on my dash was doing it (also does anyone remember political animals??)

dane dehaan oh god..... listen, it’s all the fault of the amazing spiderman 2! also his look is so versatile like in some photos he looks really nice and in others..... 😬yikes lmao skdjgfdk idk man

loïc nottet this was a short-lived crush but he absolutely killed it at the 2015 esc and tumblr went wild over him so... 🤷🏻‍♀️

marc bartra so we’re getting into football players now and just look at him! he joined my favourite team (bvb) and i immediately loved him cause he made such an effort to integrate himself. after the team bus was attacked and he got injured my love for him only increased. he just seems so sweet and nice aaahh

niklas stark idek how i came to know abt him cause he plays for hertha which i don’t care abt aksjgjghjf but he has such a beautiful smile i think that’s what got me

andré silva i just thought he looked neat (still does but he doesn’t blow me away anymore)

héctor bellerín 2016 bellerín?? oof!! don’t look him up on google tho, he’s had a lot of... questionable hair and fashion choices throughout the years 🥴the way we all dragged him for it was really funny tho. i still love him he’s a great guy always supporting good causes

arón piper listen earrings and curly hair maketh the man

matthías tryggvi haraldsson once again a crush resulting from esc. he was my icon before i turned into a mdzs blog. i don’t even think he’s super attractive, i just love the contrast between hatari matti and normal matti

harry styles i’ve given in to the harry supremacy propaganda. he really is my favourite 1d member these days, musically-wise and looks-wise

bill kaulitz we’ve come full circle!! nowadays bill is my favourite kaulitz twin. it’s funny cause they literally have the same face so it all just comes down to how they present themselves and bill is just my preference

MEN (recently/currently)

wang yibo i don’t even have words!!! his look, his personality, his talent just!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM!! (as we all do) (also big genvy causer)

lesbian yibo this gets a separate bullet point cause i had this realisation like two weeks after falling for regular yibo but oh boi am i gay for her

xiao zhan he’s just.. so pretty and lovely. i thought about putting wwx into the fictional characters category cause i think xz looks the prettiest as wwx but xz as a person just seems so nice and down to earth that i had to put him here

bright (vachirawit chivaaree) a baby!!! his smile is so pretty and overall he gives off very ~soft~ vibes. also how does he look so good when crossdressing??

boun (noppanut guntachai) once again the jewellery got me. boys with earrings really will be my downfall one day... (this is not to say that he isn’t pretty without them, his face is also very much up there on reasons why i stan him)

tul (pakorn thanasrivanitchai) get you a man who is as comfortable in his masculinity and sexuality as tul

felix lee will i ever get over the dissonance between his looks and his voice?? probably not. also he’s just a fucking cutie

hyunjin felix might be my bias (oh god i’m starting to speak in kpop lingo) but i’m also kinda simping for him, what can i say?

WOMEN (sadly not as many but you know, heteronormativity)

scarlett johansson literally everyone on this planet thinks she’s hot and they’re right (yeah she’s kinda problematic but i can still appreciate her looks)

halsey remember when halsey used to kiss her fans at her concerts?? completely unrelated to that, i really wanted to go to one of her concerts..... 🙃 also i once dyed my hair blue bc of her

kiko mizuhara she was fancast as blue from the raven cycle so many times and i was so on board with it cause in my head she fit the character perfectly but maybe that’s just because i thought she was really really beautiful and wanted to see more of her 🤷🏻‍♀️

rihanna i mean... c’mon

michelle phan oh man this goes way back.. she was one of the first youtubers i watched in like 2010 before i even played with makeup myself. she just always gave off such calming vibes and she seems so nice. also look at her 😍

zendaya oof zendaya is a big one for me. she’s just so fucking beautiful just... how?? what??? i- AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

lena i started actively following her on ig after she released her last album in 2019 (which is great btw) and... damn girl do i want to be you or date you??

xuan lu oh god she’s so adorable but then also so hot but then also so etheral but then also so cute but then also so beautiful but then also s-

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

stefan salvatore (tvd) gotta love how even at 14 i already knew not to make the toxic choice 😊

legolas (lotr) if you didn’t have a legolas phase you’re lying

draco malfoy (hp) if villain bad then why sexy?

anakin skywalker (star wars) if villain bad then why sexy? 2

noora amalie sætre (skam) she’s just really pretty, ok? the red lipstick didn’t help either...

chris p (skam) if villain bad then why sexy? 3 (ok he’s not a villain but he’s an asshole)

tokio (money heist) hhnnnnnnnggggggg girl with a gun make brain go brrr

wen qing (the untamed) funny how in the show i’m simping for wq but irl i prefer xuan lu... someone explain that to me. but anyways, she’s pretty, she’s fierce, and she looks fucking hot in red

#tag game #this took forever omg

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bakgouarchived · 4 years

Text

LOL ok so i realized that i sounded RLLY stupid in the recording, it was like 12am and half of the things i said were just “AHHHH???” “[inaudible]” or “like… ykwim??” so i decided to write it out instead

> fourteen thousand?? damn wth (amazed bc that’s a lot of words)

> ITS FUTAKUCHI!! BOYFRIEND!!

> why is he so annoying *laughs*

> i agree, disney’s tangled… wonderful, amazing, show stopping, i was gonna say never have been… what? never… been… never been done before but it has *laughs*

> i agree, his ego is alrdy big

> like a flower that had not yet met the right conditions to bloom… that’s so sexy ok

> the target is iced out

> ITS FUTAKUCHI!!

> love the action, not boring, very engaging, very sexy *laughs*

> i wanna punch him *laughs*… with love.. actually no he’s annoying… still one of my favorites tho

> DAMN i just got here and there’s already guns… FIRING

> woah ok so… the scene where it’s like… where time slows down?? and the reader could see the bullet move like it’s in slow motion… putting in the readers thoughts or like thought process really helps make the scene as if it rlly slows down like… in a movie, if that makes sense… YKWIM?? it’s good, very sexy (i was trying to say that by putting in the readers thoughts, you drew out the moment and really made it seem as though time slowed down, and gave the same slow motion effect you see in movies LMAOO)

> “u sure u want me to be honest?” SHUT UPPP

> ITS KYOUTANIIII

> his gift is so… UGH it’s not aggressive it’s not the word… it’s not violent either… ykwim (intense…i think that’s what i was going for)

> they’re like… passively aggressively flirting and i’m LIVING for this

> :O oh.. OH!! HE SAVED HER!! FROM THE BULLET!! AHHHXHDJD

> all that… all that and you can’t figure out that it’s futakuchi????… UGH

> the metaphor! it’s back! (“that same seed of infatuation you’d swallowed months ago threatens to sprout”)

> omigosh… is this a date

> AH THEY TOUCHED SHOULDERS!! that’s like, flirting, right?

> YEAH u idiot, you’re in love with him UGH… imagine…

> THEYRE KISSING!!¥{¥{ THEYRE KISSING!! that’s illegal

> oH ok metaphor, come thru!! (“The house of cards you two had so delicately put together is lit aflame, but in this single selfish moment, you have no regrets. You pour gasoline all over everything you know, tilting your head to take as much of Ace as he’s willing to give.”

> THEYRE KISSING AGAIN

> yo… yo is… is he gonna erase her memory??

> is thiS A DATE?? this is a date right

> i wanna punch him for getting the turtle… do i have permission

> GHOSTED?? UGDHEHEHSB

THAT IS HIM!! YOU’RE KISSING THE SAME PERSON omigOSH

> yes agree, oikawa is very cute. reader says “kind of cute” but i think he’s very cute

> *laughs* “tobio” *laughs some more* (why did i find this funny????)

> *panic noises* HIS MASK!! HIS MASKJDJDJ

AHH.. i hate that the reader knows that ace is futakuchi but he doesn’t know that she *noises* AH this is frustrating

> yea… leave me alone :/

> omg… omigosh HDBSJXB i’m scared

> omigosh… he’s leaving her on delivered… or read idk… pain

> OH it’s on read… pain… OMIGOSH WAIT NO THEYRE MEETING…. crying… CRYING

> bro… it was tsukki this whole time?? i mean i shoulda guessed since he was blond but… *laughs*

> THEYRE PARTNERS! THEYRE PARTNERS OMIGOSH WAIT

> THEYRE HOLDING HANDS !!!

> and there’s the title reference!

so then i tried to post the end of the audio but APPARENTLY THE VIDEO IS TOO LONG !?:!:637 so here’s after i finished reading

> i’m literally gonna dream abt this... and go to sleep like thinking abt this

> this was so sexy i can’t even like... UGH ugh ok

> man... MAN!! idek what to say

> i kind of want to see this... not animated.. or ig yea but like... as a movie? idk

> just college students w gifts, who work part time jobs *laughs* one of the part time jobs happen to be ...working for criminal organizations

> i would love to watch this, reading this was very fun

> i feel... UGHH

> i KNOW futakuchi looks so hot w his mask on... even mask off, but yk, i would never tell him that

> so sexy. idk how many times i said that already, but i had to say it again

> i hate that your works don’t get more notes. it rlly shows that notes don’t reflect the quality of the writing because this... this was so good

> the action scenes were so... so UGH

> and it’s not... what is the word for it... whatever, ykwim... actually maybe you don’t BUT just know that i’m trying my best to compliment your writing *laughs* but my brain... my vocabulary... it can’t... it cannot... no words... actually there are probably words, i just don’t have them *laughs*

> anyways besides the point

> will most definitely be rereading this

> this was so good... gave me miraculous lady bug vibes, but better, a lot better

> *sigh* thank u i hope u enjoyed this *laughs* this... asmr... very sexy for this, thank you

> ok, goodnight! wait damn, fourty minutes?? fuck... ok i have to listen to 40 minutes of audio *laughs*

> ok goodnight for real... except idk when you’re going to hear this... listen to this idk

> ty for this very lovely, sexy, entertaining, exciting fic of my boyfriend

#BWHAHWVZHQHZHAHAH #GAWD this was a pain in the ass to type #it wasnt wven rlly a video it was like... a screen recording of voice memos KFHSKDJAM

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seongwhy · 5 years

Text

ateez reaction the their crush making the first move

hongjoong

hongjoongie !!! would be so happy !!! that you felt that way about him !!!!

he didnt make a move bc he didnt wanna make u uncomfy :(( so he disregarded his feelings for u

unknowingly to him, u like him back !!!

but since this lucky man didnt get the hint (and with all the touching and attempted flirting you're surprised he didnt)

you decided you had to make the first move

but being all nervous and shi ,, you gotta plan it out

just like hongjoong u dont wanna make him uncomfy !! yall the same mfs

so what u planned to do was grab some takeout and bring it to hongjoong when hes producing an chat him up an shit

and once u get to his place and have him all alone your heart starts racing

and so does his !!

and you're eating and laughing and has showing you a beat he just made

and you put your hand on his leg and hes like big eyes blushing and his mouth drops a lil

and you're like 'this is rlly good hongjoongie' bITHX HES CRYIGN

IM CRYING

and you lean in and kiss him on the corner of his mouth and hes just

'o-oh thank you' he says

and u smile at him and ask him to show you more

he takes a second to recover but blushes even more

and ur ready to kiss him til he stops blushing

so u do

but he doesnt

seonghwa

seonghwa tries his best ok

he just really likes you

so he ends up stuttering and tripping and literally falling for you

like oh one time he was trying to bring you water and he got too excited and was running and some of the water from the full glass fell on the floor and he just slid right on that shit

thank god you had your back turned talking to yunho bc holy shit he didnt know what hed do if u saw that

but the rest of the boys will never let him live that down

'hyung, remember when u fell trying to get water fo-' 'shut up wooyoung'

but seonghwa is just a shy lil boy around you fam

and it's not like you didnt notice bc hed be rlly chill rlly calm and funny when he doesnt know you're around

and then he sees you and hes all 'o-oh hi I'm going to go w-wash the dishes' he cleans when hes stressed

and when u ask the boys what's up w him they're like '..... are u dumb'

anyway after that it was just so obvious

youd catch him staring and make eye contact and hed look away so fast

but you didnt miss dem red ass cheeks

and you honestly like the attention he gives you

and when he gains a little confidence around you and makes a joke or does girl group dances or smth

you cant resist him

so one day you go over to the dorm and tell all the boys that they're all gonna have to leave so that u can get seonghwa to yourself

and they reluctantly agree bc 'but I'm tireddddd'

and when seonghwa gets home hes like . where is everyone.

and you're like 'oh them??? they just went to the store to get snacks I'm sure theyll be back soon come watch this show w me'

and hes like ,,, right

and you're just smiling and nodding and patting the seat next to you

so he sits obviously sweating

and you're watching this show and hes watching you

with every laugh nd movement his stomach coils a lil

and after a bit you look at him

and you're looking at each other

and you're eyes are watching his lips and you just say yolo and go for it

hes taken aback at first but leans into it

and you're a rlly good kisser

then you pull back nd hes looking at you with the prettiest smile on the prettiest face you've ever seen

'thank u' he says 'for what?' 'for that'

'just kiss me again dummy'

yunho

puppy!! lil baby boy!!!

ok so like the first part , let's say you two have been besties for a while now

and it's just a mutual attraction and mutual liking ykno

but yunho doesnt want to mess up the friendship you guys have by trying anything

the members are all 'bruh she likes you back' and hes like 'nuh-uh you're lying'

like.... they told u sis

and one day wooyoung tells you like.. listen sis yunho has a crush on you but he refuses to do anything abt it bc hes worried itll ruin your friendship that I wouldnt even call a friendship bc of all the sexual tension but wtvr

and you slap him across the chest for that last part but

wait,,, yunho has a crush on you ?????

'are u sure ???' 'yes, bITCH ARE U BLIND'

blind w love babyyyyyyyy

this is groundbreaking news bc what the heck your longtime crush and bff likes you back !!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

so one day bc you guys are honestly just so comfy around each other and you've been holding back for so long theres no reason to delay this any longer

you walk up to his room where the door is closed and knock on it (u guys have a special knock)

and he opens and you latch onto him and kiss him

tangling your hand in his hair and clutching the shirt hes wearing

and he immediately kisses you back

no hesitation

but then

'guys. I'm still in here. like im happy for u but god just do a quick room check next time will ya' san says walking out of the room shaking his head

you both blush and turn to look at each other

yall laugh then shrug your shoulders and yunho says 'are u sure abt this? I dont want to wreck what we have'

'I'm more excited about what we're gonna have baby' you say, and he smiles, nods and leans in to kiss you again hehehehehe

yeosang

ok dis man loves his chocolate

and you know that so .. you decide to make him sum desserts!! a whole bunch

bc you LIKE HIM

and u want him to LIKE YOU

and the best way to get yeosang to fall for u is by giving him chocolate right

but what you didnt know is that he already likes you (shocker!!!)

so you bake up some brownies and cookies and cupcakes and idek other chocolate tings

and bring them all over to the dorm for him to try

and hes so excited !! 'chocolate!!! for me !!!!'

'yes !! all for u yeosangie'

he just looks as you in awe and love

and picks up a fork ready to take a bite

he stops tho and looks at you and licks his lips

and you blush but laugh

and he puts the food in his mouth and just dies because its SO GOOD

and hes just mouth open eyes wide 'holy shit'

'what?? you dont like it'

'nonononono I LOVE IT'

and he runs around the kitchen counter and hugs you so tight

'thank you!! this is amazing!!' he says looking directly into your eyes

'youre amazing' you say

'what?' he says 'o-oh nothing nothing I didnt say anything'

',,,, you just called me amazing !!! omg YOU JUST CALLED ME AMA-'

hes cut off by you pressing your mouth against his

he pulls away and says 'what was that for?'

'I had to get you to shut up somehow'

yeosang laughs and leans down towards you but gets cut off again!!!! this time with a 'omg are these cookies??????'

',,, get out mingi'

san

bruh yunho looks so funny wtf

sannie is such a happy boy :(

his life goal is making you laugh or smile

he just wants u to be happy!!! and his smile is so contagious!!!

and that's why you fell for him

and now everytime he makes u laugh or smile or smth a lil bit of a blush creeps up your cheeks

san doesnt seem to notice tho but you're ok with that

n e way

yall get along rlly well

hes the reason you're at the dorm every friday night for movie night

and someone chooses a horror movie

its scawwy

and san (tho also scared) sits next to you so he can whisper jokes to u throughout the movie

through hushed giggles and smiles at one another u realize u wanna be in a relationship w this guy

and the next time you're at the dorm, you decided nows the time to make it happen

but when u see san he doesnt seem like himself hes slouched down on the couch cuddling with his stuffed animal staring at the tv screen with nothing playing

when he sees you walk over to him he perks up a lil but not like he usually would

so u sit next to him and ask what's wrong

he fiddles his thumbs and doesnt look at you

so u rub his shoulder and put your other hand on his thigh and ask him again

this time he just looks at you

'I'm sorry' he says

'for what?' 'you're not smiling and it's my fault'

'san!!!! it's ok you dont have to be happy all the time!!!! especially not for me'

his head hangs and he sighs

you lift his head and kiss him slightly

'its ok' you whisper

instead of saying anything back, he leans his forehead to yours

you kiss him again

and again on his lips cheeks forehead nose hands

and by the end of it hes shyly smiling

'there it is!! theres my boy'

he hugs you and for the rest of the day you stay snuggled up on the couch

that day it was up to you make him smile

and you did !!!

mingi

mingo mango

the gif is what he looks like whenever you're near him

hes always whining for you whenever you're not

and when hongjoong sent you a video of mingi doing just that you though it was the funniest thing ever

'I wish y/n was here you're all a bunch of losers' 'you guys suck!!! I miss y/n'

freakin hilarious

this is something u love making fun of him for

liek damn mingi am I that special? I didnt know u liked me that much? u got a crush on me mango?

and u notice that whenever you ask that question, no matter how much of a joke it is, he never gives you an answer

but u dont rlly think about it until you start developing a crush on him

at first it's like,, oh what a baby hes so cute eating the food I made for him

and then it's like wow I wish he would dance on me like dat me too sis

and then u start complaining whenever hes not around 'wheres mingi?? I've been waiting for like an hour' nd 'ykno what would make this even better? mingi'

and everyone is like ok we get it u like mingi

and when mingi catches whiff of this oh boy it's over for you

'so ig it's me that's special now huh?' he tells you one night

'what?' 'u gotta crush on meeeeeee y/n's gotta crush on mingiiii'

and you roll your eyes because . idiot

but then step closer to him and say 'maybe I do'

and that's when his eyes go wide 'wait rlly???' he asks and you can hear the hope in his voice

'all I'm saying is that if you kissed me rn I wouldnt be opposed' is what you say back

and kiss you he does

wooyoung

ok so wooyoungie and u

have such blatant chemistry

yall are constantly flirting and idk yall just click

but u dont notice it

I mean u see the eyebrow wiggles and sly smiles some of the members give u

but all that does is confuse you

one day when wooyoung is in the washroom yunho says 'so you nd wooyoung huh?'

and you're like ...huh

yunhos like 'u dont like him? all yall do is flirt'

and when he says that a whole wall came down in your head

a wall blocking you from accessing emotions of attraction and love and shit you're emotionally scared sis

and you turn firetruck red

yunho just laughs and says 'I knew it'

wooyoung comes back and asks what's going on

'I'll just leave u two alone' yunho says chuckling

you glare at him as he leaves youre gonna get him back for that

but wooyoung doesnt sense anything and swings his arm around your shoulders pulling you into him

and he asks what you wanna do for the night

but you're quiet and distracted with these new feelings you've just found out you have

wooyoung asks if you're okay

and you look up at him but suddenly cant look at him in his eyes. his really pretty eyes

so you turn around and go to grab your stuff bc you 'forgot abt that... thing' you have to do

wooyoung, confused watches you scurry across the room

'uh.. ok.. I'll see you tomorrow?'

'yeah yeah see you' you say not looking at him

you just need to figure your feelings out and then you can see him again

so back home you're racking your brain tryna figure out if theres anything you can do to stop yourself from falling in love w wooyoung

and speak of the devil, u get a call from wooyoung

u contemplate not picking up but decide that wooyoung is still your best friend

'hello?' 'y/n!!! are you ok?? you left really suddenly earlier' 'yeah wooyoung I'm fine dw'

'are you sure? we dont want the prettiest person alive to feel sad now do we?'

you open your mouth to say something back but nothing comes out

'y/n?'

you feel the heat rise to your cheeks as you ask 'are you still free?'

'uh for u? always'

blushing even harder now you say 'I'm coming over' and end the call

once you get there you're knocking on the door frantically

wooyoung opens up with a 'jeez y/n what's the ru-'

you basically jump on him and kiss him hard

you latch your hands onto his shirt nd he wraps his hands around your waist

when you pull away for air, wooyoungs looking at you with a smile on his puffy red lips

you smile back and say 'that was the rush'

wooyoung smiles harder and pulls you back into him

'took you long enough'

jongho

jongho cant believe u two have met

you're one of his favourite new idols

and you met at a show

and you told him how amazing ateez's performance was

blushing, he tells you how much he likes your music

you ask him if hes hungry to which he says yes bc 1) hes always hungry and 2) he cant say no to u ever

so u buy him one of those sandwiches w the jam and the coleslaw or wtvr you know what I'm talking about

and you sit to talk and eat for a while before you have to leave

you ask for his number and tell him you'll call him sometime

and you do

all the time

at first hes shy and boyish which makes you laugh

but after a while he gets comfy and will brag and sing to you and joke

you guys catch each other up on everything

he tells you all about the boys and the boys all about you

and you realise how good a listener this guy is nd how handsome!! and cute

and so at the next show you see him at you walk up to him

and with your heart doing flips and take his hand and tell him to walk around with you

he does and you lead him to a less busy hallway where you just look at him and say 'I like you'

jonghos like... wait. huh. what. wait i- and hes blushing so much even his ears turn red

'me? you like me? bc I like you too and if you're joking or something I would be really sad and I've told the members that I like you and they made fun of me so this would be great of u did like me but if you dont and this is a joke id be really upset' and hes rambling and not looking you in the eye

so you lean in and kiss him

'it's not a joke' you say

'its,, not a joke? are you sure?' 'I'm sure'

'you're sure' 'are you going to keep repeating everything I say? or are u gonna kiss me again?'

jongho, blushing even harder now, chooses the second option

#i loterally got to the limit on this ome #i got so into it #seonghwa #hongjoong #yunho #san #yeosang #wooyoung #mingi #jongho #ateez fluff #ateez scenarios

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hoodiehan · 5 years

Text

Concert Experience

I’m not sure how to exactly.. section off this entire thing by topic so I’mma just jump in and go for it and say whatever I remember. This is going to be hella long because I have a LOT to say about the entire 2 1/2 hour concert lmao.

Here’s a link to the setlist for the concert!

I made a setlist of all the songs that were played! Including the songs that were played during the VCRs! But the only song I didn’t include was Mixtape #2 because that was played during a VCR and also none of the mixtapes are on Spotify lmao.

Ah okay okay before the concert STAYs started chanting “STRAY KIDS EVERYWHERE ALL AROUND THE WORLD” then during the ments, the boys started chanting it back to us and we chanted it to them and ;-; yes. Then we also chanted “WE LOVE YOU! WE LOVE YOU!” and I think it took the boys by surprise a little bit, but then they started chanting it back to us and it felt wonderful :’) being apart of that.

YOU GUYS. I’M SO SMALL. AND THE VENUE HAS SEATS. BUT FOR SOME REASON EVERYONE STARTED TO STAND UP AND ;-; I BARELY SEE BC I’M SO SMALL. I HAD TO STAND ON MY TIPPY TOES AND JUMP A LOT TO SEE PROPERLY. MY CALVES HURT BECAUSE OF ALL THE TIPPY TOEING I DID LMAO. But Chan saw all of us standing and he said “Seeing you guys standing up makes us want to go even harder” and like YES BOY. YES LOL

So I sat in P2. In the Orch R Section (right side of the venue) in row F, so I was also 2 rows away from P1. ;-; But tis okay, ‘tis okay.

During the ments, the lineup goes: Minho Jisung, Jeongin, Felix, Hyunjin, Seungmin, Changbin and Woojin. From right side of the venue to the left side. Changbin and Woojin were standing right in front of my section and OH MY FREAKING GOSH THEY ARE SO ETHERAL. LIKE WOOJIN. MY MAN. YOU A WHOLE MAN. HE’S SO ASLKJGHASKJLG SURREAL LOOKING LIKE I CAN NOT BELIEVE. AND CHANGBIN. HE’S SO SO SO HANDSOME IN REAL LIFE. AND HE’S SO FREAKING BUFF ? IM SO SHOOK I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. BUT HE ALSO LOOKS SO INTIMIDATING ? AND LIKE IDEK. OKAY PLEASE DON’T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY BUT CHANGBIN IS ˢᵉˣʸ. LIKE IM NOT TRYING TO SOUND THIRSTY, GROSS OR ANYTHING BUT HE JUST HAS THIS WHOLE AURA AND VIBE AROUND HIM THAT SAYS “Yeah, I’m here, I know what I’m doing, the effect that I have on you all, and I own this stage” AND THAT CONFIDENCE. IS VERY ATTRACTIVE. I’ve said this like 20 times lmao but there was a girl sitting 2 rows ahead of me who had a Changbin banner and she would hold it up whenever he looked at us. He saw her banner, waved and smiled to her SO MUCH. PLEASE GET A BANNER FOR A MEMBER STANDING ON YOUR SIDE OF THE STAGE. THEY WILL SEE YOU AND THEY WILL GIVE YOU ATTENTION LIKE I PROMISE YOU. Also he FLIRTED SO MUCH WITH THE FANS. There was one moment where Changbin looked at a fan in the first row and he just gave her this look that was so different idek how to explain it. IT WAS A GOOD LOOK THOUGH. But the girls behind me saw the look he gave her too and said “Oh who was HE lOoKinG AT”.

Stays cheered so so hard for Changbin! Like I’m so happy that they did too because he deserves it! And every time we cheered for him, he would always kind of smile shyly and ugh adorable. Not to say that we didn’t cheer hard for the other members either. We cheered so loudly and so proudly for everyone! But Changbin was just definitely louder and more energetic.

Jisung is my bias and he was on the other side of the stage so I didn’t exactly look over at him that often because I was sort of focused on getting Changbin and Woojin’s attention lmao. There was one moment where he came to my side of the stage during Yayaya and I had to stop jumping, screaming, singing and just look at him and realize “Oh my gosh he’s actually real and here”. He’s so absolutely beautiful my heart flutters every time I think about him. Jisung was also wearing a button up shirt with sleeves that were attached with strings. A few of the strings came undone during the concert because he was going so hard on the performances but it was so cute :)

Here’s a picture of what he was wearing!

SO FREAKING BEAUTIFUL I LOVE HIM. At first his sleeves were rolled down at the beginning of the concert (I think) but then he rolled them up to his elbows halfway into the show and FRICK. THAT’S MY WEAKNESS. BUTTON UPS ROLLED UP THE ELBOWS AHHHH

Then he changed into his sleeveless hoodie/tank top and HOASGKLJASHG HIS ARMS HIS ARMS HIS ARMS HIS ARMS HIS ARMS

YES M Y BOY. FUCK IT UP. GET THOSE GAINS. HAWK YEA LET’S GO. He’s so BEAUTIFUL.

Anyways moving on. I took so many pictures I wanted a new wallpaper for my phone (because before it was from the BTS concert from September). My wallpaper is a picture of the boys saying goodbye to everyone, and it’s like perfectly placed because all of my apps are on top and the pictures are clearly seen on the bottom with heavenly yellow lights shining down on them :) Then my lockscreen is a live photo of Hyunjin hugging Jisung and ugh beautiful yet again. Fans did the fan chants during the concert! But it was kind of quiet. bUT WE WENT SO HARD DURING VICTORY SONG, MIROH AND YAYAYA! Like those songs were the most hyped up and it was so fun !!

Tbh idek what to say for the concert because it went by in such a blur :( They only had 2 outfit changes during the concert too. But then for the hi touch they changed outfits. They performed a lot of songs back to back and they did it so energetically idek how they do it because I was just standing there singing, and I was already exhausted by the time that My Pace played lmao.

Ah okay okay. Chan made Seungmin speak SO MANY TIMES LOL. But it’s funny because Chan would say, “I think.....” then he looked around the stage then looks at up Seungmin and says, “SEUNGMIN wants to say something !!” And Seungmin would just go like “Ah” and shake his head but then he would introduce the next song. :) It was super cute. Chan also talked a lot about “first times” and how precious and memorable they are. He was really excited about this being his first time in LA and about performing in LA for la stays it was so cute :))

Then Hyunjin talked about coming to Disneyland when he was smaller and he said “But because I was so child I can’t remember it” and UWU. BUSTED 10000000 UWUS FOR HIM !!!

Changbin also spoke so much English ! i’M SO PROUD OF HIM DID I ALREADY SAY THIS? IDEK BUT HE SAID SO MUCH IN ENGLISH AND HE SPOKE SO ELOQUENTLY IT WAS AMAZING !! Woojin, Jeongin and Minho didn’t say as much. But they spoke in Korean and there was a translator. :) Minho tried to speak in English during his ending ment but he forgot what he said. Stays were trying to cheer him on by saying “YOU CAN DO IT!!” But he got shy, and just said “I LOVE STAY”. :)) He’s so adorable I love him. There was also a person performing sign language for a Stay on my side of the venue too. Chan saw them and took a moment during the concert to say “can we just take a moment and applaud the sign language translator!” Chan is so cute he really notices everything idk he’s adorable HE’S ADORABLE.

The girl in front of recorded the entire concert and honestly I respect her because my arms got tired of holding up my phone after like 1 chorus lmao. Also the girls behind me screamed so loud I hope that their throats are okay today. I was sitting next to the speaker too, so hearing all the screams in the arena and sitting next to the speaker did not help my hearing at all LOL. My ears were muffled at the end of the entire thing.

Also idk if it’s my hearing being messed up or if it was real life but their voices are so much more high pitched irl? Like Seungmin was so nasally and Jisung was like ᵘᵖ ʰᵉʳᵉ. LOL But during the hi touch, Jisung sounded deeper. Felix sounds the same irl and holy frick I love him. I love him. I love him too. The boys are absolutely so cute they kept looking at everyone around the entire arena and they kept seeing “I love you Stay!” Woojin also said during the concert “La is pretty but Stays are more pretty” and AHHH We all went wild HAHAH. During their aegyo part, thEY ALL KEPT ROLLING AROUND THE STAGE AND I WAS LIKE ??? IS THIS ALLOWED ??? HAHAH. Chan said “The name’s Bang... Bang Chan” and aksjlgh THE CROWD WENT WILD FOR THE MAN. Hyunjin had the cutest aegyo though :’) He did a flying heart and caught it and ugh beautiful.

During Get Cool, Changbin changed the lyrics :’). He changed the lyrics from 막내 오다 주웠다 훗 이게 형 클라스죠 (Maknae, oda juwoda hut ige hyung geullaseujyo) to “Stay, I love you!” and gave a finger heart. IT WAS PRECIOUS. Also.. Voices just hits so differently irl. Seungmin’s part in the chorus when he sings “Break free from the voices in my head” just HITS. SO. DIFFERENTLY. IT’S AMAZING. And when Chan sings “Step out of the voices” is so powerful I can’t even explain. I recorded the part where Changbin and Jisung are doing their duo rap because IT’S SUCH A POWERFUL MOMENT. Insomnia is... IT ALSO HITS DIFFERENTLY. Something about all the Stays singing “I can’t sleep” with Chan is so emotional idk. But Hyunjin singing in Insomnia UGH BEAUTIFUL. THE ENTIRE CONCERT. BEAUTIFUL. MINHO HITS DIFFERENTLY IRL. LIKE HIS SINGING IS SO ANGELIC AND WONDERFUL I LOVE HIM ! I LOVE ! HIM ! Hyunjin did a body roll because he was doing a “sexy version of My Pace” and wow my boy. Right there. Really going at it.

THEY KEPT SLAPPING EACH OTHER’S ASSES DURING AWKWARD SILENCE LMAO LIKE OKAY THAT’S GREAT HAHAH During Felix’s part where he went “Marbling” someone slapped someone else’s but I can’t remember who asgkjh it was funny though because like their bottoms were facing us and you can just clearly see them slapping each other lol

Also some fans got a project together and they made red cellophane sleeves and blue sleeves for the lighsticks. During Hellevator we all held up our red sleeves and during Grow Up we held up the blue sleeves. It was sooo pretty being apart of the blue ocean in Grow Up :)

Then during the Mixtape #2 VCR, it showed clips of the boys doing their individual introductions during the survival show days. It sort of broke my heart in a good way. Idk how to explain that properly. But just seeing how far they’ve come... when it’s also only been a year.. and seeing how much they’ve grown and improved.. I love it so much. I love being a Stay. It’s sincerely one of the best things ever.

Also since the concert venue was smaller compared to other concerts, I found the entire thing to be really cute. Because it was all so small and personal. We could really interact with the boys, and they interacted with us :’) I mean I sure would love to see them perform at the Honda Center, Staples Center or The Forum too. But this was a beautiful start. Having this small little concert and being with them :)

The fans though... they’re such a beautiful sight. During certain parts of the concert, it would be pitch black. But the thing was, our lightsticks shined so brightly that it lit up the entire room. It was such a beautiful sight I loved it so much.

I had a lot of fun at the concert though (as you can probably tell heh). :) It was just so fun being surrounded by other STAYs, singing, dancing, doing fan chants and more :) I love our boys so so so much and I miss them so much already. They’re really the light of my life.

#stray kids #stray kids in la #there was one more thing but i totally forgot what to say about it :( maybe it'll hit me later #yeah the concert was amazing and truly one of the best experiences ever I love stray kids and stay so so much #also after all that #my mom says that her bias is Felix and Jeongin :')

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luvrluzer · 7 years

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Kpop Questions

Tagged by: @wanna-1-one // Thank you for tagging me! - Also I haven’t been active lately, but since I’m on break, I’ll post this tag post (? or challenge, lmfao) ANYWAYS-

1. Who was your first female bias? Hmm.. I think it was either Amber from f(x) or Ailee

2. Who was your first male bias? T.O.P from Big Bang (HE GOT ME LOKE WOAH.. i was literally 7..no joke)

3. Who are your current biases? other than the above: I’m currently hooked on pd101 so like...

Park Woojin from Wanna One (if you haven’t noticed)

Kim Donghan from JBJ

4. In the entire kpop industry, who is the closest to your ideal type? Okay honestly ima say Park Woojin, but also Choi Minho from SHINee.. here’s why (or just skip this part cuz who tf cares)

Woojin is literally the cutest, most shyest dork I’ve ever saw. In my opinion I kinda think we are both alike lol. Shy at first, but once you get to know him more he’s annoying asf and you can’t make him shut up.. jk just me ;) very lively and super funny. My ideal type is someone who I can joke around with a lot and laugh with.

Minho is also my ideal type because he’s very caring and is also a very lively person. I love seeing his smile and hearing his laugh. AND THE WAY HE TAKES CARE OF KIDS GOT ME LOKE-have you seen him on The Return of Superman?? (or somethin loke tht, idek) DAEBAK AND HIM WAS SO CUTE I WANTED TO CRI.. Yea, lol.. my ideal type is also someone who can be a GREAT father and always can make me happy from a simple smile or laugh.

also did I mention how determined and hard working they both are?? Dayum that’s literally the most attractive thing a man can have. And they are both good lookin u knoe ;)

oki i needa stop.. do u not see how long this is im... fml

5. Have you ever attended any kpop concert / fanmeeting / fan sign? Nope :(

6. If yes, which group / artist? how was the experience?

7. Which group / artist would you like to see live? Does KCON count? BCUZ MY DREAM KCON WOULD BE- WANNA ONE, EXO, AILEE, VICTON, SF9, PENTAGON, MONSTA X, SEVENTEEN, AND BIG BANG

8. How did you get into kpop? So like I started listening to kpop from my mom actually... I think I was 7 or something (the year that the drama Boys Over Flowers came out) and she made me watch that drama with her. (So my first ever Korean crush was actually Kim Bum lol.. and shortly after Lee Minho- Whoops, liking Korean men since 2009 lmfao... but anyways) Then she showed me Big Bang.. My mom was a Taeyang lover but I fell in love with T.O.P. I then kinda stopped listening to kpop bcuz I was like 8 and really had no idea what the heck they were singing so my interest left UNTIL my best friend, @lai-gvanlin came into my life and then I started to fall back into the kpop life again. (tysm btw.. lmfao)

9. Who are your otps? For sure Markson- u can never tear them apart istg.. and literally everyone and anyone who interacts with my b Park Woojin bcuz he’s adorable with anyone and everyone including me

10. When did you start to ship them? I guess when I got into the groups

11. What is your favorite fanfic genre? like fluff ig.. idk, I really like that cheesy boyfriend stuff lol..

12. What is your favorite music genre? I like a lot of different genres- like if I listen to a song and it got me feelin a type of way then I like it.. but I think I’m more of a hip-hop / pop kind of girl.. I like most of my songs upbeat, kinda like Monsta X songs ig

Sooooooooo... sorry this was hecka long lmfao.. but anyways I’ll tag: @sewnho @wannaoneioi @wannabl @woojinstinygf @lai-gvanlin @spooky-jihoon @parkrudejin // you guys don’t have to do this if you don’t want to~ and if you want to do this tag game (? Still don’t know what to call it tbh) and I didn’t tag you, go ahead and tag me if ya want :)

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roseandpatchouli · 2 years

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god, i really miss the heydays of tumblr era. any other social media platform isn’t the same. it makes more sense to write candidly and vent here than in a journal or twitter, you don’t need to worry about posting and updating regularly, have an aesthetic theme. plus my handwriting isn’t the same as it used to be. holding a pen is a bit of a struggle regardless of the steadiness of the table. damn these tremors but at least you don’t have to worry about making your profile look aesthetic, have a cool grid, or force yourself to a concise nuance of a 152 word limit on the bird app. and there’s more useful information you can learn on here than twitter or pinterest, tumblr was like the pinterest before pins became became a thing anyway. (i still don’t like the interface pinterest has, it doesn’t have the same nostalgia it gives me of better and simpler times) the best part, hardly anyone i know owns tumblr but i suppose this is a good thing, nobody would call you a social climber for posting every second, or a clout chaser for following people with surprisingly similar interests with you. and the best part? idek anyone who owns a tumblr or uses one, unless it’s to write and / or read smutty fanfics to fill the void of one’s young adult with reader inserts. but i guess, it’s also comforting knowing that there’s no one prying on here, i hope. isince there isn’t anybody following me. there seems to be lesser consequences, at least, here… unless someone finds this and it goes viral. is there a way to private your tumblr? i guess i’m answering my own q here… (2) honestly, i don’t think people really care if you’re a detached sad girl, the whole mental health thing in the early 2000’s was just a trend. it’s just an excuse for their ego for them to be nosy, because when you finally do open up, they snitch on you, and say go get a therapist, stop ruining my reputation??? doesn’t anyone have private accounts where they can vent??? first of all, therapy sessions only happen once a month. and both psych’s recommend i open up to people who i trust, problem is, it’s people who give me emotional distress, and it’s considered “chismis” or “talking shit” or “doing them dirty” fuck it, fuck it all ig. this gen is so contorted and messed up, it’s no surprise they argue as much as they do with their parents. do ya’ll gotta mess with me on my period of rest on social media? my spare time with my friends? like i said therapy only happens once a month and they’ll say the goddamn same thing. and i don’t want to waste poor trees souls on my vents, of day, or people who purposely try to piss me off and should just be insignificant ants to me. funny thing is, i know what they’re doing, they’re trying to fix me by not saying anything. only thing is, the fact that i know prompts me more to say things, because it’s i know that they know, and the know that i know. all my socials just seem to get exposed. even my vents to my so called friends get passed down like that weird game of pass the message we used to play when we were younger. get a therapist they say, but heck i’m already seeing a psychiatrist, who do you think recommended me to them? i’m guessing these peeps don’t know that therapy is not an everyday thing, it’s a once a month sort of process, and in between those moments they actually recommends talking or opening up to people, but how can i when these people immediately assume that me venting is me talking shit about them. It’s as if they have never talked about people they encountered in their lives before? anw, i guess this makes more sense, within the gaps i am not having my sessions with my therapist, it’s also cheaper than spiritually recreational activities that cost a fortune, when u can do that shit yourself. i am a practitioner after all. so, here i am i guess, an apparently a fossil millennial healing her prepubescent teenager by reviving tumblr during it’s y2k era, because there’s only so much nuance one can fill on a twitter thread or disorganized pins you can save on your phone.

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