#anyway i'm just rambling bc i'm tired but i can't go to sleep yet bc my upstairs neighbors feel the need to play music loud enough

[zukkaoru]

twenty-three + [platonic] nanami & megumi or [platonic] maki & toge <333

also. hi <3

hi beloved🥰 you already know what's coming <3

23. die first - nessa barrett + [platonic] nanami & megumi

can’t escape it, that’s how it works someone dies or someone gets hurt

word count: 11,760 trigger warnings: character death (canonical + a very minor oc), suicidal thoughts, romanticizing/idealizing death, self harmful thoughts and behaviors, survivor's guilt

🌟 if one of us dies 🌟

“You are a child,” Nanami says firmly. He rolls his shoulder. “No child should die, regardless of any outstanding circumstances.”

It’s a nice sentiment - really, it is.

But Megumi’s circumstances are different. He’s only fourteen, but he isn’t a child. There is a difference between childhood and Megumi’s younger years.

Tsumiki had a childhood.

Megumi…

Megumi has lived always knowing it can only end one way, and that end will likely come sooner rather than later. Megumi has had to compress an entire life into the handful of years he’s been gifted so when death grabs him by the throat before he turns twenty, he won’t die with regrets.

🥀 read on ao3 🥀

#i'll schedule / make an actual post for this tomorrow but have a fic bc i promised myself i would post it before winter break ended!! #megumi fushiguro #nanami kento #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #tsumiki fushiguro #itafushi #fanfic #corey tag #ask game #grace's writing tag #uhhh idk what else to say. please mind the content warnings if that sort of thing is triggering to you #ace megumi rights #also aro nanami rights #someone give megumi a hug please. well actually he does get one at the end but it's a pyrrhic victory :/ #also i love that this is the second nanami & one of the first years fic i've written for corey that ended up being 11k words #maybe i should write a nanami & y.uuji fic to complete the trifecta 🤔 #anyway i'm just rambling bc i'm tired but i can't go to sleep yet bc my upstairs neighbors feel the need to play music loud enough #that i can't :) fall :) asleep :) #i have work at 6am :)))))))

[noblueskies]

Here's something else

Well this is fun it's now almost 4:30AM!

This is on and it's kinda depressing from old memories but it's nice. I've just woken my parents up by crawling up the hallway to get to the bathroom BC I needed to go to the toilet but I was loud and I didn't mean to be it was just the boots and if you've ever been up in the night then you've 'tip toed' places and as I've explained I can't even stand so that was made hard and crawling was loud so don't try that if you're thinking of using it. I've solved a couple of puzzles and now idrk what to do but listen to music and vent about how I hate but also like paracetamol extra and I'm really sensitive to caffeine before you say I'm a lightweight I'm not a coffee drinker I prefer tea and yeah it's not fill of caffeine so I have no tolerance. But yeah I'm sat in bed listening to Spotify and thinking about how I'm missing more school but you know what screw it is mean there's nothing that I can do about it now and I'll end up catching up later I'll be fine it'll just be a heavy Saturday. Also I forgot to say earlier if it is what the spine surgeon suggested then it could take surgery which really is not good BC even though it's not very invasive it still is a little invasive and it has its risks and if I didn't get it with the NHS then that'll be very very very expensive BC you know it's pricey private but well worth it BC I need to get this sorted by it's knocking the shit out of me at the moment. Oh well I guess this is all I can do for the moment. Bless my dad he's been on the phone lots and trying to get me the next appointment ASAP but idk how long it'll be we should get a phone call tomorrow (today but if I fall asleep it'll be tomorrow BC it's 4am in the morning 12-11-19) and ooh it's A's birthday!! Yeah I should text him.

Anyways where was I oh yeah basically the person we saw first privately was a spinal surgeon BC we thought it was to do with our spine but here's the kicker... It wasn't so now we have been reffered to the next person and today we found out that he doesn't deal with children which is really weird bc im 15 and fully grown almost as a man well my feet are fully grown at least. But yeah so now we're trying to get to another person who can help but that's the story so far and if we could have done anything quicker we would have. I got my MRI on a disc also it came when I was ill Friday last week which is really cool they look awesome and I also have my feet which I haven't seen anyone about yet so yeah if there's a orthopaedic Doctor out there who reads MRIs and deals with children that'd be awesome but yeah it's specialist and it's annoying BC I'm slightly worried that we won't get someone to see me quickly but it should be ok it will be ok. I feel sorry for the people around me more than me I'm literally being waited on I'm experiencing what it is like to be my bother right now that's funny (he never does anything) but still it's a lot of pressure on my family and ontop of all this since close friends are going through a tough time and that's going to be a bit overwhelming for everyone but it should be ok I mean worst case scenario I'll just wheel around the house and help out where I can but it's really hard to do that because even though I live in a bungalow which is amazing can I say and some of it is more open planned it's also really awkward to get into my room, bathroom, utility room, spare room and out of the house that's one thing I really miss that I cannot do normal things that other people can you really don't realise the amount of things I can't do anymore. I was ok with sitting out of PE or doing things that wasn't running (4 months ago I could easily stand and walk mostly) but now I can't do that at all it's just too bad. I can't go into town to meet people and for the most part they have to come to me. I haven't left the house in 3 days since I went to a party and that was hard with the codiene - also there's an update on that I'll say in a minute yeah an update within 3 Hours of rambling but I just forgot to say I'll explain in a minute - but yeah I was shattered like almost falling asleep on the sofa shattered which for me is impressive BC I used to not sleep well and I got by with lots of sugar in my system.

Now back to the medicine/drugs. The medicine I'm taking isn't fully effective BC codiene is not an anti inflammatory which isn't what would help tarsal tunnel (js all of my symptoms fit it and this was before I heard of it I'm not saying it is it it just gives me a smidge of hope that this shit show might soon come to a close) so it'll stop me feeling shattered if I stop taking those but I can keep my naproxen and amitriptyline so I might trial that BC I feel like crap with or without the painkillers but feeling tired is rubbish also so I'll just give it a go. I hope there's no withdraw from codiene like ik I'm not addicted but just wonder BC it's really strong. Oh well it'll be fine I'm sure. I'll continue this rambling soon.

#orthopaedics #surgery #personal #pain #medicine #life #long story #sorry if you actually read all this #this is a lot of rambling but i needed to get it all out #enjoy reading #i hope #oh well #i say that a lot #ive only just realised #hope everyone else is ok #bc im not #that sounds depressing but really I'm fine #i'll shut up eventually