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datenightfright · 3 years

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Infamous

As always, this story is dedicated to the memory of Oiwa, thank you for letting me tell your story, and may you find the peace you deserve.

And, a big thank you to @mlmdarkfiction and @doodleferp who are always willing to lend me their ears and ideas. Without your constant encouragement, this story wouldn't continue.

Previous/Next

Pairing: Kayako Saeki x WOC Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Blood.

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The warmth of the tea seeps into your fingers. The tingling runs up your hands and stops just below your wrists. Detective Tanaka is back in your home, sitting across from you once again. Fujiwara is by his side, ever present notebook in hand, writing furiously. The child you stowed away in the closet sits next to you, his tea untouched, clinging to you as though his life depends on it. “This is...very strange Mrs. Kubo,” Tanaka tells you.

“I’m aware,” Your voice shakes, you’re close to tears. You just killed a man, and the authorities weren’t exactly on your side despite the overwhelming evidence. “There are signs of forceful entry,” Fujiwara states, nose stuck in his stupid little notebook, “and one of the officers found evidence of someone living in the abandoned house next door. It looks as though he stayed there for a few days, weeks even, watching and waiting for the right time to strike.” You wince at the discovery while Tanaka shoots Fujiwara a warning glance.

“Is this going to be a recurring problem?” You ask, trying to keep your shit together. “Mrs. Kubo,” Tanaka begins, gentle, always so gentle in the way he treats you. “You do live in a very infamous house. The legends that surround it...well there are too many to count really. You do realize you and your daughter are an anomaly when it comes to this place, don’t you?” You nod slowly. “We’re the only ones that have lived for this long,” You whisper, your eyes flitting towards a window. Kayako is there, watching you intently.

“Didn’t you notice anything strange?” Fujiwara asks you, “Seeing the same man over and over again, the same car on the street? In the grocery store? Didn’t you feel like someone was watching you this entire time?” Tanka sends another glare to his partner, meanwhile you scoff. “This isn’t a movie Detective,” You spit, “I spend my days just trying to survive, for the sake of my daughter. I’m an American living in the heart of Japan, so everyone is staring at me no matter where I go. So no, I didn’t notice anything strange, I didn’t notice anything different. So sorry to disappoint.”

Fujiwara is going to say something snippy, you can tell, but Tanaka cuts him off. “You must be tired Mrs. Kubo, we’re sorry for all the questions. Once the team is done, we’ll leave.” You nod, thankful someone had a good head on their shoulders. You hear sniffling and look down at the boy next to you. “What about him?” You ask, “What’s going to happen to him?” Everyone stares at the little boy, he only buries himself in you further, trying to shy away from being the center of attention. “A social worker will come to collect him tomorrow.” Tanaka says. “Until then, you must keep him safe.” You nod silently and go back to your tea.

“Why do you keep defending her?” Fujiwara snaps, “This is the second person she’s killed and you’re going to let her get away with it, aren’t you?” Tanaka glares at him, but the young detective is undeterred. “We still don’t know if she killed her husband,” Tanaka points out, “But-”

“And tonight’s case was a case of self defense. He broke into her house, tried to kill her.” Fujiwara scoffs. “A case of a lover’s quarrel gone deadly.” He mutters. Tanaka simply shakes his head. His partner was young, yet. He’d eventually learn that not everything was as it seemed.

The car is tense and silent. Fujiwara is too wrapped up in his own bigotry of foreigners to think straight, Tanaka, well, he had to admit he was wrapped up in his own hero complex to admit Mrs. Kubo might really be guilty. He felt bad for her, she was a new mother, young and pretty. Her famous husband, the source of her income, had been killed by an unknown assailant, leaving her all alone. And tonight, she’d been attacked by some madman that believed in the curse.

Tanaka grips the steering wheel tightly. His resolve to do something about that damnable house is even stronger than before. He’s been keeping a close watch on those that have entered it months ago, but so far, nothing has happened. No mysterious deaths, no unexpected suicides. Everything had been quiet. This just made him more nervous. He has a bad feeling that the house is gearing up from something really terrible.

You find out the hard way that blood does not like coming out of tile, not completely anyway. You throw the sponge into the bucket, growling with frustration. The house is deathly quiet once again. The boy sits on the counter, eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and drinking milk, watching you struggle. You haven’t been able to get one word out of him since last night. You expected as much, though. You simply can’t imagine what hell he’s been through.

You pick up the bucket and dump the blood water in the sink. You fill it up once more, wiping your forehead of sweat. A little nudge on your arm gets your attention. You look towards the boy, he’s handing you a paper towel. “Thank you,” You say, smiling gently at him. You take off your gloves and dab at your forehead. “So,” You say, shutting off the water and filling it with bleach once more. “What should I call you, hm?” You set the bucket on the ground and replace your gloves.

You smile encouragingly up at the kid, hoping he’ll at least say something. He simply finishes his sandwich and watches you scrub the tile. You decide not to pester him. Rather, you begin to hum a lullaby to yourself to fill the silence of your home.

You work at the stain for another thirty minutes or so before deciding you’re done with it. It’s just going to remain a permanent mark on your kitchen floor as long as you’re concerned. You pour the water down the drain once more, then begin to wash the bucket. “Koji,”

“Hm?” You look over to the little boy, smiling. “Koji,” He says again. “Koji? Is that your name?” He nods. “I like that name, very fitting for such a brave boy.” He gives you a small smile, which you return with one of your own and a ruffle of his hair.

The color drains out of his face as he looks wide-eyed and terrified behind you. You whip around to find Kayako and Toshio looking at you. You let out a surprised yelp. Clutching your chest you glare at them both, “Listen, I understand this is your house, but please, can you make noise before you enter a room? I’m tired of all the jump scares.” They simply look at you as you gather the boy in your arms. He wraps around you tightly, too terrified to look at the ghosts.

Before you can say anything else, a knock is heard at the door. “None of your funny business,” You say to both of them. They move out of your way as you walk towards the door. You stop for a moment to check on your sleeping daughter. You see the rise and fall of her chest, then move on. You open the door, blinking in the sunlight.

“Hello!” A cheery girl greets you. She has a badge stuck neatly to her shirt pocket, you read her name easily. “Ms. Fujiwara,” You say, with a smile and a small bow. “No relation to Detective Fujiwara, I suppose?” The girl giggles. “Yes!” She says, “He’s my older brother.”

“Ah,” You say noncommittally. Normally, you would move out of the way and let her in, ask her if she wanted tea, but not everyone that came into your home could be spared from Kayako’s curse, not that you’d ask her to. You think it would be highly unfair of you to ask such a thing of her. As such, both of you stood awkwardly for a few moments, not really knowing what to say.

“Is this the boy?” she finally asks, looking at Koji. You follow her gaze. “Yes,” You say, setting him down with some difficulty, he didn’t seem to want to let you go. He still clings to your legs when you straighten. “My name is Fumiko,” The young girl says, squatting down to his level. ��I’ve come to-”

“No!” he says, interrupting her. She blinks in shock, but then smiles gently at him. “It’s ok, you can trust me,” she reaches out to him, “No!” He says louder this time. You hear a faint rumbling in the background. “Koji,” You say, also kneeling. “I know you don’t want to go, but you have to, this nice lady will find your parents.” He shakes his head and throws himself at you. “No! No, no, no!” Your heart breaks as you hug him back. “Koji,” You say, trying not to tear up, “I’m not allowed to keep you.” You have to tell him the truth, as much as it hurt, you didn’t think lying to him would help matters. Besides, kids like Koji could read through an adult’s lies in seconds.

You pull back from him, giving him a sad smile. “Believe me, I would if I could. You’re such a cute and brave little boy, but you have to go with Ms. Fumiko, ok? She’s going to help you.” The boy sniffles. “I’ll come visit.” You find yourself blurting out. “Tomorrow.” You nod. “Ok?” Koji looks at you, and, seeing that you mean to keep your promise, returns the nod. “Here, I’ll help you get your shoes on.” You turn behind you. Kayako hands you his shoes, you smile at her, then help Koji put them on. “Visiting hours are from noon to three.” Fumiko informs you. “This is our card.” You take it from her after straightening. “Thank you,” You mutter tonelessly. Fumiko takes Koji’s hand after he gives you one last hug. “You’ll be ok, Koji,” You call after him, “Just be brave, like you were last night.”

You watch them walk out of your yard, and let a blustering man with an arm full of papers in. He bows to Fumiko, muttering a quick ‘hello’ then waddles up your sidewalk. “Professor Sato?” You walk out to help him with all the papers. “Mrs. Kubo!” He says, huffing. The glasses on his face askew. “I’ve done it!” He says, smiling at you, “I’ve found a way to get rid of Kayako for good!”

You help him straighten all the papers in his arms. “Um, I’m sorry Professor, but, I don’t think I’ll be getting rid of Kayako anytime soon.” You look at him sheepishly as his happy features turn to one of confusion. “Eh? What? Why? You were so adamant the last time-”

“Perhaps we should go to brunch?” You say, “I...I have a lot to tell you.” He nods slowly, “Oh, brunch, yes, ok. I know a place around here. It’s small, but private.” You smile at him. “Let me go get ready, I’ll be right out. Please, don’t enter the house.” He nods, watching after you as you slip into the house. He drops his papers, not noticing Kayako watching him from the window, wary as always.

You watch as Professor Ibuki Sato bounces your baby on his knee, talking about his crazy theories for ghosts and goblins. She’s giggling, happy and engaged. You smile softly at them. This is what you’d hoped Haru would be like. You shake your head, that was the past, this was the present, you had nothing but the future to look forward to. “So, you decided not to get rid of her.” Sato says, You grunt in affirmation. “Because a man broke into your house last night and tried to get rid of her on his own.”

“I can’t explain it,” You tell him, “It’s like the dynamic has shifted or something.”

“Perhaps you have feelings for her too?” Sato teases. You glare at him. You answer him honestly, “I don’t know.”

“Oh wow,” He says, sitting back in his chair, letting Sakura grab at his plate of food, “You must really like her then, if you’re confused about it.” You shrug. “She was so terrified last night,” You tell him, “You could see it in her eyes, her and Toshio both. I...I don’t think I could live through that again.”

Sato studies you for a long moment. “What?” You ask, a little irritated. He shakes his head. “It is possible that you’ve come to care for Kayako in your own way. It may not be love, but perhaps companionship?”

“Perhaps,” You mutter, unsure of anything anymore. Your life has been turned upside down so many times you couldn’t even figure out which way was up. You just wished for some stability. “Are you going to publish your husband’s papers posthumously?” Sato asks out of the blue. “What?” You frown, looking at him. “Your husband’s book. Wasn’t he going to publish one on the house? Are you going to complete it for him? Surely you need the money.” You huff. He has a point, you do need money, or rather, you will need the money, eventually. You have no plans to go back to the states soon, not that you thought Kayako would let you. “I’ve never written anything before.” you told him, “I don’t think I could imitate him.”

“Well, write for yourself,” he suggests. “I’m sure people would love to read what you have to say about the house.” You worry at your lip. For a long time you stare off into space, wondering about what sort of job you could have. “Tell you what,” Sato says, feeding your daughter a noodle. “You can be my assistant.”

“Your what?” You mutter. You didn’t much like the idea of becoming his assistant, but there was little else that was open to you. “Yes,” Sato says, nodding. “My assistant. There’s a lot of research that goes into my job, believe it or not. I could use the help. Someone to read over things for me. It wouldn’t pay much, but I highly doubt your rent is that high to begin with.”

You sit back and look at him, wondering if he’s serious. Deciding that he is, you simply shrug. “I’ll get back to you.” is the only answer you give.

#the grudge #ju-on #kayako saeki #kayako imagine #kayako x reader #infamous

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canmom · 3 years

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Animation Night 38: Mamoru Oshii

Hey there friends! It’s time for Animation Night again. Still not gotten round to filling in last week’s Lupin post, but it’ll come. Anyway...

Well, the last many months, we’ve been working our way down the list of big name anime auteurs - and it’s time for this guy!

Mamoru Oshii is surely best known for his famous film adaptation of Masamune Shirow’s Ghost in the Shell, but that’s actually something I’m gonna be saving for next week when we’ll be doing a dive (off the rooftops) into that franchise. Instead, this week I want to share some of Oshii’s various other films, bc they can be quite a mood!

So, from the top! It probably explains a lot to note that Oshii grew up watching a lot of artsy European films by people like “Federico Fellini, Ingmar Bergman, Michelangelo Antonioni and Jean-Pierre Melville” (thanks WP). He went into anime storyboarding pretty much straight out of uni in the 70s, working on fairly minor baseball anime; the break came in 1981 where he joined Studio Pierrot to work on the scifi romcom series Urusei Yatsura, especially the second film where he started to indulge in time loop plots and pouring the philosophy juice.

While scifi movies would turn out to be the niche that best suited Oshii, his first step away from TV anime was to try a new format for anime: Dallos (1983-4) was the very first OVA, which is startling considering how quickly the format took off by the end of the 80s. You can read someone’s very detailed plot summary here; according to that guy, it was left frustratingly unfinished after four episodes, and the story wasn’t a great deal to write home about, hence largely forgotten beyond the ‘first OVA’ footnote.

Oshii, meanwhile, had a much more exciting plan - he was planning a Lupin III film. From the sounds of things, what he had in mind was a sort of cyborg-filled, GitS-like take on Lupin, but the premise was too weird for Tōhō and Yomiuri; having heavily advertised Oshii as the director (I guess he was already a ~marketable name~ back then?) they decided to just cancel the film! Tragic honestly, I’d love to see an Oshii take on Lupin, that would be fucking wild.

Oshii took the ideas with him, and instead went ahead to direct one of his first really personal films: Angel’s Egg, at Studio Deen (not one familiar to me, but they seem to be a v long running studio who’ve worked on quite a bit of high profile stuff including Ranma, the first Fate anime, and the Higurashi/Umineko adaptations).

This is where we hit the art, or if you prefer, vibes, that Oshii is known for! Angel’s Egg is almost wordless, full of surreal, frequently biblical imagery and gorgeous Yoshitaka Amano character design. The plot is kind of abstract, but broadly, a soldier boy is wandering a strange empty land where armies fight shadow fishes; one day he encounters a girl with a giant egg, who asks him not to break it... and the egg remains totally fine and definitely does not get broken at some later point in the film no way 🙃

Oshii had grown up Christian, but while making this film, he became disillusioned with his religion, and well it’s not a stretch to see that getting metaphorised in the film! But while this is the usual angle taken by critics, Oshii has himself refused to give a specific interpretation of the film. In any case, here we see the onset of certain images that would recur throughout Oshii’s films: fossils and extinct animals, military imagery of soldiers locked into aimless tasks...

Following Angel’s Egg, whose producer Toshio Suzuki was among the founders of Ghibli, Oshii briefly collaborated with Miyazaki and Takahata towards a film that would be called Anchor, only to fall out over some kind of vague creative differences. Instead, it was time for the ‘militarised police force’ era of Oshii’s career!

Joining a small creative collective called Headgear at the invitation of his friend, screenwriter Kazunori Itō, Oshii would spend the next few years on two parallel strands: the extremely down-to-earth mecha series Patlabor, imagining the cops of a near-future setting where mechas are ubiquitous and not always reliable; and the mostly live-action Kerberos series, which grimly imagines a future where Japan went full fash again, creating a specialist police force in blatantly SS-inspired gear who end up going rogue.

I’ve seen the first Patlabor film some time ago, and a lot of it is like, squad room shenanigans, though it has some very impressive action scenes at the end on a collapsing artificial island. We can certainly trace some of its influences to events at the time - like with Akira, there is for example the Tokyo housing bubble taking place in the 80s, which is in the film transformed into literal hopeless attempts to construct artificial islands. Machinery runs amok in civilian neighbourhoods, etc. etc. It saw the beginning of Oshii’s long collaboration with composer Kenji Kawai, though not yet at the heights of his GitS soundtrack!

But it’s the second Patlabor film is the one which seems to be best known: Patlabor 2 (1994) saw Oshii work with the renowned Production I.G., and things more geopolitical, imagining a conflict between different branches of the JSDF stemming ultimately from a failed ‘peacekeeping’ mission in Cambodia which turns a military commander against the political authorities. (In real life, Japan sent police forces along with a number of other countries under the UN to Cambodia in the aftermath of the Cambodia-Vietnam war as ‘peacekeepers’ in the early 90s, so that would have been pretty fresh in the news.)

This leads to some remarkable scenes of martial law being imposed and tanks rolling through Tokyo while the civilian population sits by. Looking for more background to this, I came across this interview with an American magazine; Oshii describes his intent as reflecting Japan’s role in the cold war:

OSHII: I think it may be difficult for Americans to understand. The story is really based on political programs that exist in Japan, so it has quite a few deep meanings within it. In Patlabor 2, I wanted to describe the Cold War for Japan. It was a war, but a silent war. When the Cold War existed between the U.S. and Russia, the "stance" of Japan was not to be directly involved. Even though Japan was involved, it kept insisting for fifty years that it wasn't. I wanted to describe that fake peace.

To contextualise a bit - in the years after their defeat by America in WWII, Japan signed a number of defence treaties making them an ally of the United States and letting the US maintain military bases their, pretty much perpetually, though not without significant protest against further alignment with the US in the cold war. For their own part, article 9 of the post-war constitution, Japan renounced the ‘right to belligerency’ and prohibited maintaining an army. In practice, though, they have a developed pretty big one, and were a close ally of the US in e.g. providing logistical support for Vietnam and deploying troops through the UN in ‘peacekeeping’ operations. Yet officially, Article 9 still applies, and is (to my understanding) considered quite important; wanting to revoke it is a pretty hardline nationalist position.

I also came across a much more in-depth interview where Oshii talks to Hayao Miyazaki. It’s a remarkable interview, as much for getting a sense of Miyazaki’s worldview as Oshii’s (also: Miyazaki is quite mean! though Oshii hardly seems to mind). As far as the film, Miyazaki seems to think the film is decent entertainment, but seems unimpressed with the film’s stance:

Miyazaki: About the conversation between Arakawa and Goto about the false peace and war of justice, that enumeration of words, I thought that "here we go again, the Oshii tune as usual." I thought that that's what you've been saying all the time, but since they are fast-talking, we can not stop and think (while watching the movie). So, you have removed the organic agriculture, you have removed the debate at the Diet, in short, the most tiresome things in our daily life, the worldly nitty-gritty, you removed all those things, and created a computer game in the Oshii world. I saw the movie as such. Before I saw it, I had thought that Oshii-san's book of thoughts might have come out, but (after I saw it), I thought that Oshii-san was in the mental state of moving to Izu to settle down to watch Tokyo. -laughs-

Oshii: That's fairly close. -laughs-

Miyazaki: In that sense, it was interesting until I saw your hands. But the minute you set up the movie with more worldly settings so that it will have a more interesting conspiracy, such as, "it was the Clinton government's trap to inflict economic damage on Japan, or to gain a political compromise (from Japan)," it further loses reality. America is also in a fix. If they do (fight), I feel that it will be a more stupid, violent, simple, kids' brawl. Such as not buying Japanese cars anymore. But this is complicated, too. What about American cars with Japanese engines? -laughs-

I admit, my interest in this film was mostly spurred by fans talking about the impact of some of its scenes, so I’m looking forward to seeing what our take on this angle might be...

Meanwhile, as far as Kerberos, I admit I don’t know a great deal about this one. The series comprises a trilogy of films, two live action and finally one animated in Jin-Roh, which is the best-known of the series. The second you see the armour on the cover you know it’s about fascism lol. Beginning as a manga and spreading to Japanese and Korean film, anime, and a bunch of other media including even fucking... monographs (???), it’s set in a grim alternate 1950s, in which different branches of the state’s violent apparatus conflict with each other as well as the insurrectionary ‘Sect’. The background is surely the real political turmoil of that time, epitomised by events like the assassination of communist political figure Inejirō Asanuma by an ultranationalist with a sword.

For our purposes, the one that gets the most attention is the third film, Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade (1999), and the first to be made as anime - though it was actually remade as a Korean live-action film a couple of years ago. The film concerns a member of the Kerberos division (the guys in the SS-looking armour) who is put on trial after he hesitates to kill a girl carrying an IED, only to come into contact with someone who is allegedly her older sister after her release. The story is framed through Little Red Riding Hood; if you ask random youtube video essays I found, it does so in order to complicate an overly simple victim/villain binary but idk that might just be that guy’s take (for my part, it seems pretty obvious that the guys in nazi armour are the bad guys and it’s probably good to blow them up).

I won’t be screening this tonight bc, ngl, no matter how gorgeously it’s shot and animated, the heavy fash imagery makes me uneasy and I want to see what it’s doing with it!

Oh yeah, and in between making Patlabor 2 and Jin-Roh, Oshii did a little number called Ghost in the Shell. More on that next week! But GitS is notable for many things: meticulous direction, stunning imagery (Production IG absolutely killing it on the animation front), and overall effectively distilling Shirow’s chaotic manga down to Oshii’s preferred philosophical themes. It’s no surprise that it’s the film that got him international recognition.

In the 2000s, Oshii went back to live action, directing a fascinating-sounding movie called Avalon about a VR game in 2001, followed by the psychedelic Assault Girls in 2009 (which I’ve heard good things about from @velocityvsreality who is far more familiar with the tokusatsu world!) He also played around with CG imagery, as in Mezame no Hakabune/Open Your Mind (2005), which was a sequence of psychedlic visuals set to Kenji Kawai’s fantastic music that played in iMax theatres. Like much of Oshii’s films, it’s concerned with evolution, there are military themes, it puts striking imagery above all else... it’s a cool watch.

In terms of anime, though! He made a sequel to GitS, titled Innocence, which was sadly not all that successful. In 2009, though, he started on another original story: The Sky Crawlers, depicting a world in which strangely emotionless clone children fly WWII-like aeroplanes as a sublimated form of war. As with many of Oshii’s films, it’s slow and contemplative, meticulous with tech... it has, sadly, been years since I watched this film so I can’t immediately summarise what it does with the theme, but I still remember it as creating a striking mood that stayed with me after the film.

The last decade has seen Oshii return once more to live action, working in scifi films and suspense thrillers, but I am running out of time to research these! But he is actually coming back to anime sometime presumably very soon, with the series Vladlove (a name that is palindromic when transliterated into Japanese) being announced as a kind of... yuri vampire comedy??? Definitely not something I expected given Oshii’s filmmaking habits so far, but I’m sure it’s gonna be one to watch!

We have 15 minutes left for this Animation Night to commence at 7pm UK time, though I’ll probably leave it a little late so I can scribble out a title card. The place will be twitch.tv/canmom as usual! Hope to see you there, Oshii is a master of imagery and atmosphere and will surely give us lots to discuss!

Playlist is gonna be:

Mezame no Hakabune (while people are coming in and I draw a title card ><)

Angel’s Egg

Patlabor 2

The Sky Crawlers

(and next week, more Oshii with GitS night!! want to make that one really special)

#animation night #mamoru oshii #really feel like this one could be more substantial engagement with oshii's themes but maybe that's better saved for afterwards

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myaekingheart · 3 years

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133. +

read the scarecrow and the bell on ao3 index | from the beginning | < previous | next >

Kakashi stirred awake, rubbing his tired eyes and attempting to untangle his legs from the blankets. He had no idea what time it was, but the sun had barely begun to rise. He felt around the mattress for Rei but she was nowhere to be found. It was that absence that initially snapped him out of his daze. The runner-up was the sound of retching echoing from the bathroom.

Kakashi rose to his feet, stepping lightly as he approached the door. He idled there for a moment, catching notes of her gagging, gasping for breath, and the way she’d bang her fist on the toilet seat as she struggled to contain herself. Finally, he creaked the door open and he felt a tightness clutch his chest.

Immediately, he knelt down beside her and pressed a firm hand on her back. Her entire body trembled and heaved as she vomited, her face red and dewy with sweat. Kakashi brushed the bangs back out of her face, then fished around in the disorganized drawers for that little yellow hair clip of hers in order to pin them back. He had no idea how long she had been in here for, or how much time had passed once she had finished. All he knew was that this was becoming a problem.

Rei’s stress was no secret to him. He knew the past month had been hard on her. She couldn’t sleep, so much so that dark circles had permanently taken residence under her eyes. Her appetite was atrocious. She never seemed to eat anymore outside of a snack here and there, always junk food, always sparse. And even then, she could hardly keep anything down.

He tried not to hound her too much for it. He didn’t want to add more fuel to the fire. Besides, he rememberd how sick and anxious he had been when he had first made captain himself. It was all just a byproduct of change.

Gasping for breath, Rei collapsed into Kakashi’s arms as she lazily flushed the toilet. She sniffled and wiped her nose, congested and snotty, with the back of her hand. “Sorry if I woke you” she croaked, apologetic.

Kakashi shook his head. “No, it’s alright” he whispered in reassurance. He held her close, letting her lay her head on his chest as he leaned his back against the bathroom counter. “Are you alright?”

She nodded, whispered, “Yeah…yeah, I’m fine. Just food poisoning.”

Kakashi, admittedly, was unconvinced. It was the same excuse she had been using for the past week and a half. He believed her at first, but now he wasn’t so sure. After all, if her mother’s cooking had made her so sick, then why wasn’t he incapacitated by it, too? Or anyone else, for that matter?

He helped Rei to her feet, wrapping an arm around her for support. “What time is it?” she asked, rubbing her puffy, watery eyes.

“I don’t know” Kakashi replied earnestly, “but you should try to get some more rest.”

Rei, however, shook her head. “It’s not worth it” she replied. “I’m up now. I’m never going to be able to fall back asleep.”

Kakashi grimaced but did not protest. Knowing her, she would pass out on the couch around noon and sleep until dinnertime anyway. He was just grateful that it was her day off. After the chaos of her last mission, she deserved a break.

He had to admit, when she came home and explained what had happened at Komaeda Outpost, Kakashi was a little more than shocked. He knew full well the potential for chaos that rogue ninjas could bring, but the complete destruction of a hotel was on an entirely new level. Not to mention Rei’s unrelenting illness.

He helped her into the kitchen where she steadied herself against the counter and poured a glass of water from the sink. From the tap, it wasn’t nearly as cold as she would’ve liked but at least it helped to get the rancid taste out of her mouth. Once he was sure she was steady, he made his way to the living room to begin tidying up all of the random mail that had accumulated on the coffee table. Toshio lumbered nearer, nudging Rei’s hand in silent comfort. As she sipped, her eyes trailed to the calendar pinned to the wall and she furrowed her brows. “Hey, Kakashi?” she asked over her shoulder. “What day is it?”

“Friday, June 5th” he answered, skimming through a handful of envelopes. He furrowed his brows at an electric bill they probably should’ve paid two weeks ago. “Why do you ask?”

Shaking her head, she set her glass down and pulled a pen from the junk drawer. “I’ve been slacking on the calendar” she replied. She hadn’t checked off any dates for nearly three weeks now. Evidently, her hangover from Sekkachi’s birthday atop her overall stress had made her irresponsible in that regard. Her hand trembled as she x-ed out each date one by one until reaching June. And that’s when she noticed it. Clapping a hand over her mouth, she spun around and keeled over the kitchen sink.

“Rei!” Kakashi sped to her side in an instant as she gagged, clutching the edge of the counter with a white-knuckle grip. She stood there hyperventilating for a long moment before the nausea finally subsided. She whimpered softly as her eyes unfocused for a moment, little blotches of indescribable color dancing across her vision. When her knees buckled, Kakashi wrapped an arm around her in support and pulled out a chair. He sat her down gently, poured her another glass of water. His anxiety mounted.

“Rei, I think you should see a doctor” he said, setting the glass in front of her. She pressed a hand to her sweaty forehead, brushing the flyaways away from her face, and shook her head. “You’ve been getting worse and worse. Something has to be going on.”

“I’m fine, Kakashi” Rei insisted, staring at him hard. It was just the stress. She was overworked, tired, anxious. That’s all it was. Just stress.

Sighing, Kakashi sank down in the chair beside her and ruffled his hair in defeat. He didn’t know what to do with her. He hated seeing her suffer like this. Pursing his lips, he filtered through his limited knowledge of diseases to try and figure out some sort of explanation to all of this. This certainly went beyond the scope of food poisoning. The stomach flu was on thin ice. He didn’t even want to consider something more serious, like abdominal cancer. And then he was struck with perhaps the most ridiculous idea of them all. Restraining a chuckle, he mused, “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

Rei’s heart leapt into her throat. With a gasp, she leaned across the table to smack Kakashi hard on the arm. “Shut the fuck up, Kakashi!” she shouted. Her face burned bright red. She refused to believe this was a possibility. Not after everything else. Not after the twist her life had already pulled on her. No, this was not happening.

And yet Kakashi’s joking question seemed to bring life to the idea. A manifestation of thought. Furious, Rei drew her knees up to her chest and sipped at her water. Toshio rested his head on the seat of her chair, looking up at her with big, kindhearted eyes.

“I’m sorry” Kakashi apologized, heaving a sigh. “I know I shouldn’t joke about that.”

“You’re fucking right, you shouldn’t” Rei snapped. Suddenly his joke wasn’t so funny anymore.

Kakashi hesitated a moment, chewing the inside of his cheek, before finally asking, “Rei…you don’t really think you’re pregnant…do you?”

“Kakashi, I don’t want to talk about this” she groaned, squeezing her eyes shut tight. Toshio whimpered at her side.

Her answer wasn’t very helpful. If anything, it only furthered Kakashi’s suspicions. Reaching across the table, he pulled her hand into his and forced her to look him in the eyes. “Rei” he said, his voice firm and pleading. “Do you really think that you could be pregnant?”

Rei shivered and gulped. “I-I…” she stammered, but she didn’t even know where to begin, how to condense her thoughts into something comprehensible. Finally, she just pointed at the calendar with a shaky finger and curled even further in on herself.

Kakashi’s gaze slowly trailed to the kitchen wall, to the little calendar tacked under the clock. Squinting, he rose and inched nearer, then flipped the pages back and forth to compare April, May, and June. His eyes zeroed in on the little red dot marked on April 29th. “Rei…” he whispered.

Sniffling, she replied quietly, “M-my period is late…”

Whipping around, Kakashi cupped her face in his hands, desperate. “D-do you want me to go out and get some pregnancy tests? Or take you to the doctor? D-do you really think you might be--?”

“I don’t know, Kakashi! I-I don’t know!” she cried. Her eyes overflowed with panic, fear. “M-Maybe it’s just the stress, you know?” she continued, negotiating with herself. “I mean, stress can often lead to late periods. A-and I know my eating hasn’t been the best. Diet can fuck your cycle up, too! A-and poor sleep, and body weight, and…”

No matter how she tried to justify it, there was no avoiding the truth. She pressed a hand to her stomach, whimpered, reeled. There was no way this was happening. Not now. Not after everything else. She was just overthinking. This had to be a mistake.

Before she could say anything else, Kakashi was already tugging his mask up over his face and sliding his shoes on frantically. Rei’s anxiety heightened as she watched him. “W-where the fuck do you think you’re going?!” she asked.

“Where do you think?” Kakashi replied. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. Just…try to stay calm.” He shoved his wallet and his keys into his pocket and then disappeared.

Defeated, Rei called after him sarcastically, “Not likely, but thanks!”

Realistically, he was only gone for a half an hour. For Rei, however, it felt like an eternity. She chewed her lower lip and circled the edge of her glass with a trembling finger. Toshio rested his heavy head in her lap and much like a weighted blanket, it soothed her, but only slightly. When she heard Kakashi’s key turn in the lock, her head snapped up. Panic. She wasn’t sure which was worse: the unbearable waiting and consequential avoidance, or his return with pregnancy tests in tow.

Kakashi entered the apartment quietly, cradling a large paper bag in his arms. Rei blinked, uncertain. “What did you do? Buy out the entire store?” she asked. There was no way a box of pregnancy tests required a bag that big.

Shaking his head, Kakashi set the bag down on the table. He reached inside and one by one, pulled out a loaf of bread, a sack of oranges, a box of those rice crackers she liked, the works. “I didn’t want to look suspicious” he replied sheepishly. Rei watched with panicked intent, a part of her hoping that perhaps in his attempt to appear normal, he had forgotten the pregnancy tests completely. But then there it was, last but not least. That little pink box made Rei furious.

Kakashi sucked in a deep breath, fiddled with the box in his hands. “You ready?” he then asked.

Rei bit the inside of her cheek, pressed a hand to her stomach. She didn’t think she was. “Y-You know what, Kakashi?” she stammered out. “Maybe we can just avoid this altogether, you know? I-I’m sure everything’s fine. It’s just the stress, right? Like it’s probably just stress and I’ll get my period any minute now!” Her nervous laughter did not help her argument.

“Rei, look at me” Kakashi said, gently cupping her cheek and tilting her head up toward him. “If this is a genuine concern like I think it might be, we need to know.” Besides, for all they knew, the test could come back negative. Rei could be right in her halfhearted, desperate assumptions. But the only way to find out was to actually take the test.

Rei deliberated for a moment, knowing deep down that her fiancé was right. She rubbed her stomach, nodded slowly. “O-okay…” she croaked. Her eyes landed on the box and she was filled with unimaginable fear. She gave a single nod before taking it into her own hands and replied weakly, “Let’s do this.”

Of all the times Rei had had pregnancy scares in the past, she had always just gone to the hospital for a blood test. Home pregnancy tests were not her forte and therefore she felt awkward and stupid trying to figure out the best possible way to do this. Kakashi sat on the edge of the tub as Rei pulled her pants down and sat on the toilet, ripping open the box and pulling out one of the little sticks inside. She pouted as she turned it over in her hand, studying it’s structure. Meanwhile, Kakashi took the box from her lap and pulled out a small paper outlining instructions.

“It says to remove the plastic cap and place the absorbent tip directly within the urine stream” he read off. Rei paused. There were so many things wrong with the words that were coming out of his mouth right now.

“Well, how the fuck am I supposed to make sure everything’s lined up?” she asked. “It’s not like I can see down there.”

Kakashi hesitated, almost tempted to offer himself as a second pair of eyes, but even he didn’t know how that would work. It wasn’t like he had byakugan and could see straight through the toilet.

Frustrated, Rei flicked the little plastic cap off the test, muttering, “Fine, whatever, we’re just gonna fucking wing it then.” She shifted slightly so as to place the test beneath her, hoping upon all hope that everything was in the right spot, and then she waited.

The one thing that she had not considered about all of this was whether or not she could even pee in the first place. It was early in the morning, she hadn’t been drinking much water, and the anxiety of it all was making it hard to go to the bathroom anyway. She sat there for a solid five minutes but it was to no avail.

“Maybe this is a sign” she said with a hollow sense of hope. “Maybe the universe just isn’t taking us seriously right now and is trying to tell us that we’re overreacting.”

Kakashi shook his head, skimmed the back of the box as if he would find any tips on how to help resolve the issue. He wasn’t surprised when he came up empty. “Maybe you just need a minute” he replied. “Do you want me to turn around? Do you think that would help?”

“Kakashi, I’m not a guy” Rei snarked. “Women don’t get the same sort of stage fright about pissing in front of other people that you all do.”

Raising his hands in surrender, Kakashi murmured, “Just figured I’d offer.” In an effort to be helpful, he rose to his feet and approached the bathroom sink, filling a paper cup with tap water. He handed it to her and she drank it silently, knowing full well that it would not work that fast but making an attempt with it anyway.

Meanwhile, Toshio, curious about the commotion, nudged the door open and strode inside. He circled the tub mat once, twice, three times over before flopping down comfortably. Rei watched him and wondered what it was like to be a dog. No rules, no responsibilities. Just stealing table food and taking naps. She only wished she could be as carefree.

After another ten minutes passed with no help, Kakashi ruffled his hair with a sigh and suggested, “Maybe we should just come back to this later then.”

Rei shook her head. “No, it’s fine” she protested. “You know, I think I feel it coming.”

Kakashi cocked a brow, watching her curiously. Another few minutes passed. Still nothing. Toshio snored loudly from the floor.

“Come on” Kakashi sighed in defeat, extending a hand to help her up. “There’s no use sitting here ramping our anxiety up if nothing is going to happen.”

Rei hated that she had no choice but to agree. She set the test down on the counter as she gathered her pants and underwear around her ankles, but as she did so, she finally felt that much-anticipated urine make it’s belated debut. Panicked, she scrambled to grab the pregnancy test off the counter and shove it underneath her yet again. She had no idea whether she had positioned everything properly, but she hoped upon hope that she had. She did not want to have to do this again.

Kakashi blinked despondently, watching her in amused surprise. Once she was finished, he chuckled softly under his breath. “I guess reverse psychology works on bladders, too” he mused.

“Alright, what do we do now?” Rei asked. She placed a wad of toilet paper on the counter and set the test on top, face-down.

“It says to recap the test and wait five minutes” Kakashi said, glancing back at the instructions. Rei gave a single nod, doing as the instructions told her, before wiping and flushing. And then came the waiting.

Rei paced back and forth, chewing her lower lip and toying with the fraying threads on her shirt collar. Kakashi watched her, fingers tented in front of his face, apprehensive. For a long while, they said nothing. The moment was far too delicate. They feared that should they speak, they would shatter their composure and lose their sanity completely. Rei was already halfway there.

“You’re making me dizzy” Kakashi quipped at the three minute mark.

“Do you think we really have to wait the full five minutes?” she asked. “I mean, if there’s nothing there then we could be waiting here forever, you know?”

“And if there’s something?” Kakashi countered.

Rei paused and pursed her lips. “Then I’m sure the result would be far too eager to show itself.”

“Fair enough” Kakashi replied. They stood there in almost-silence for another long moment, only the sound of Toshio’s heavy snoring serving as soundtrack to their panic. Then, finally, Kakashi asked the question Rei was hoping he would never verbalize. “What result do you want to see?”

She genuinely did not know. If he had asked her that same question a month ago, she would have had a very different answer but now she wasn’t so sure. Things were different. Their lives were different. No longer was she in the best place to have a baby.

And yet…she still desperately did want this. The thought of being pregnant, of finding a positive test result, excited a deep, guilty part of her. There was no logic in it, though. In reality, it didn’t make sense. Her life was divided into two very different paths. She was not allowed to be in two places at once.

Shaking her head, Rei sank down beside Kakashi on the side of the tub and asked, “What result do you want to see?” She spoke the question almost like a joke, delivered in a snarky, half-mocking tone.

A soft smile touched Kakashi’s lips and Rei’s heart leapt into her throat. She feared she already knew the answer, and she wasn’t sure if she could stomach it. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, averted his eyes. “Honestly? I…” he started, then paused. Rei chewed her lower lip. Something in Kakashi shifted. He glanced to the clock, as if running out of time, swallowed hard. “Rei…”

“W-what…?” she whispered, hoarse and weak.

He turned to face her then, meeting her gaze with frantic, uncertain eyes. “Our five minutes are up” he croaked. Rei’s back went ramrod straight, digging her nails even deeper into her palms. Her throat tightened and her heart was racing and oh my god she was going to be sick.

She stood up slowly, her legs like limp ramen beneath her, and shuffled slowly toward the counter. Kakashi watched with bated breath. Rei leaned against the counter, squeezed her eyes shut tight, inhaled sharply. A trembling hand hovered over the test. “K-Kakashi…I can’t…” she whimpered.

“Do you want me to look instead?” he asked, rising to his feet. He approached slowly, placing a gentle hand on the small of her back. Rei shook her head.

“N-No…I know I need to do this myself” she protested. After all, it was her own body that was at stake. She felt her stomach creak in anxiety. In the back of her mind, she forced herself to remember that the only way out is through. Dragging the situation out would only make things that much worse. Pursing her lips, she let out a small squeal of fear before snatching the test up and finally flipping it over in her hands.

It took a moment for her to fully register the results. Once she did, however, her entire body went numb. She stood still for a long while, paralyzed.

“W-what? What is it?” Kakashi asked, growing frantic.

Rei swallowed hard. She wasn’t sure which was worse: the disappointment or the delight. Her hand shook as she slowly turned the test around to face her fiancé. “K-Kakashi…” she croaked, clapping a hand over her mouth. Now she was definitely sure she was going to be sick.

Kakashi leaned forward, squinted at the little test window. Staring back at him was the faintest little pink line. His heart skipped a beat. “I-It’s positive…” he whispered in disbelief.

Rei nodded slowly, a sob catching in her throat. “K-Kakashi…it’s positive” she repeated.

A soft, incredulous little laugh bubbled up from deep within Kakashi’s chest, his vision growing blurry with tears. “Rei…” he whispered, unable to fight the smile spreading on his face. He cupped her cheek, laughed again, pressed a hand to her stomach. “Rei, we’re going to have a baby. W-we’re having a baby!”

Sniffling, Rei wiped her nose with the back of her hand and nodded. “I-I’m pregnant…” she laughed softly, staring back at the test. “I-I can’t believe I’m pregnant…!”

Overwhelmed with emotion, Kakashi pulled her tight into his arms, burying his face in the crook her neck and stroking her loose, tangled hair. She could feel his hot tears against her skin, the inconsistent trembling of his upper body as he sobbed into her shoulder.

“I can’t believe it” Kakashi whispered, voice hoarse and happy. He leaned back then, pressed his forehead against hers so as to lock eyes, and his heart swelled. “We’re going to have a baby” he said, as if repeating it would make it somehow more believable. He grinned, in love with the way it sounded, caressed Rei’s cheek, whispered, “Our baby.” She smiled back at him with a sob and god, he was so weak. Unable to contain himself, he pressed his lips hard against hers, holding her close and revelling in this incredible moment.

Once the euphoria had subsided to at least a manageable degree, Kakashi snuck into the kitchen and began making them breakfast. He refused to let Rei lift a finger—after all, if ever there was a time to care for her in full, this was it. He watched as she sat cross-legged at the kitchen table, picking at her toast. She was distracted, staring off into space, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She set her food down, slowly rolled her shirt up, pressed a hand firmly against her lower stomach. There was so much to process.

“Kakashi…” she whispered, “What do we do now?” This was far too big for her to fully comprehend. Their entire lives had just changed in an instant, and yet the rest of the world was spinning just as it always had. How could she possibly function like normal with this new adjustment? She supposed there was no expectation for her to.

“Well, seeing a doctor would probably be a good start” he suggested. As desperately as he had always wanted a family, Kakashi hated to admit that he didn’t know the first thing about pregnancy. Not really. He knew how it happened, he knew the process and of course the end result. Anything in between, however, he had only ever been exposed to during his time guarding a pregnant Kushina. He knew that pregnancy was complicated and intense, but he understood it only in the haziest of senses. The details were beyond him. What did they need to do? What obligations did they have now? Where were Rei’s limitations? When was she due? Was their child healthy? What if the test hadn’t even been correct and it turned out they weren’t pregnant at all? He knew there was such a thing as a false positive but he didn’t understand how it worked or how that happened. There was plenty he did not understand, and now it was becoming ever clearer to him just how ignorant he was.

Rei nodded slowly, sucking a sharp breath. “I guess I’ll call the hospital up and make an appointment then” she replied. She rose to her feet without even finishing her food, scoured the junk drawer for that notepad with all the important numbers on it, then lingered in front of the phone. How was she even supposed to do this? What was she supposed to say? She twirled the phone’s cord around her finger, chewing her lower lip, before finally dialing the number. The phone rang three times before a cheery receptionist answered on the other end.

Kakashi listened closely to the rather roundabout conversation. He could feel the tension tightening in Rei’s muscles and he wondered for a moment if perhaps it would be easier to just walk into the ER like they had done so many times before. But then the call ended and Rei sat back down with a definitive nod. “Well?” Kakashi asked. “What happened?”

“The earliest they could book me was Wednesday” she replied.

“That’s not too bad” Kakashi replied. “Only four days. We can wait that long, can’t we?”

“I hope so” Rei replied. She pulled apart another bite of her toast and swallowed her anxiety along with it.

The rest of the day passed in a strange haze. Their newfound discovery did not mean that they could skimp on their predetermined errands—a trip to the butcher to pick up meat for dinner, a quick walk around the park for Toshio’s upbeat energy, and a stop at the Yamanaka flower shop to purchase a small bouquet for a grave. Normally, Rei would conduct these errands with a sense of poise and decorum. She would be alert and confident and graceful and quick. Now, however, she stumbled over her own two feet, became distracted by her own thoughts. She had to hold Kakashi’s hand always so that she would not stray into foot traffic and get trampled by eager pedestrians. The sun was so bright and the air was so humid, the pollen hanging heavy in the air so that her eyes watered and her nose stuffed up every five minutes. And then there was the nausea.

The discovery of her pregnancy did nothing to quell her sickness. If anything, it only made it worse. Whenever she’d feel the tinge in her stomach, that sour little lurch, her mind now immediately screamed That’s right, it’s because you’re pregnant. That word echoed through her mind nonstop: pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. You are pregnant. Taunting her. Maddening her.

When they reached the butcher shop, Rei staggered in the doorway and clapped a hand over her mouth. The stench of raw meat, the sight of carcasses hanging from the ceiling, was enough to send her over the edge. She swiveled on her heels and ducked into the nearest alleyway, hands on her knees and breathing heavy. Toshio tilted his head and curiously followed close behind. The smell of rotting garbage from the dumpsters did not help her case and after only a few moments, Rei keeled over and vomited into the trash.

Kakashi’s hands trembled as he rushed through his purchase, desperate to get back to her side. The butcher smirked as he packaged their meat. “Your girlfriend’s got a pretty weak stomach, huh?” he asked. There was something in his tone that irked Kakashi. A condescension. If only this man knew Rei had a kill count in the hundreds, that she was an elite ninja and one of the strongest women he knew.

Narrowing his eyes, Kakashi took the parcel in his hands and replied, “My wife is just having an off day.” He hoped his words were scathing enough. He hoped the butcher began to reconsider crossing the Copy Ninja, even if verbally. Kakashi shot him a shit-eating, masked grin then before turning and exiting the shop.

Kakashi turned the corner and rushed to Rei’s side immediately, wrapping an arm around her for support. She brushed her bangs back out of her face and shook her head as they stepped out into the sun. “God, this puking shit is going to kill me” she muttered under her breath.

“I’m sorry” Kakashi replied, rubbing the small of her back. He glanced out at the passerby and hoped that no one had seen. They both agreed that they did not want to arouse suspicion. The pregnancy was still far too new, too raw. If they hadn’t even fully accepted it yet, how the hell were they supposed to tell other people? And people who may not take kindly to the news, at that.

“I just hope this lets up soon” Rei sighed.

Kakashi nodded. His heart ached to see her suffer, and he wished there was more that he could do. All he could manage was a dose of half-baked optimism. “Just think” he whispered, “at least it will all be worth it in the end, right?”

A small smile tugged at Rei’s lips, pressing a hand to her stomach. Across the way, a new mother pushed a stroller along. Rei gazed at the little baby swaddled inside and something in her chest tugged. She shared a knowing gaze with Kakashi and it took all of her strength not to cry right then and there.

The rest of the afternoon went smoothly enough, constant nausea aside. The fresh air and relaxed atmosphere of the park helped ease Rei’s tension and something about the flowers in Yamanaka shop made Rei more emotional than usual. Kakashi insisted on buying her half a dozen red carnations while they were there because she could not stop looking at them.

Dinner was relaxed, quiet. Kakashi opened the windows so that the smell of food would not nauseate Rei further and fixed the carnations in a vase on the table. Rei collapsed onto the couch, draping an arm over her face and quickly falling asleep. He spread a blanket over her and his heart soared. She looked so peaceful, so full and soft, her face dewy with sweat and her hair a tangled mess. She was so much more to him now than she ever was—which was saying a lot. After all, how could she possibly be more than his everything? The answer lie in her womb, in the little life that was growing inside of her now. Their life. Their baby. He could hardly contain himself at the thought. He rubbed her stomach gently, eyed the way her shirt lifted slightly to reveal her skin. He tugged his mask down to sweetly kiss just below the navel. They had only known about the pregnancy for a single day and yet he was already so in love with this child. A soft smile touched his lips, tender. I can’t wait to meet you.

Rei curled up against Kakashi’s chest that night, his hand caressing her waist as she attempted to fall back asleep. The issue with having napped that evening was that now, when it truly mattered, she was wide awake. And even worse: she was awake and overthinking. “Kakashi…?” she whispered. “Are you still awake?”

“Hmm?” he hummed tiredly. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Rei nodded slowly, halfheartedly. If he was tired, she didn’t want to keep him up, but she was also desperate to address her overwhelming concerns. The darkness seemed to make way for the fear and uncertainty that came with this newfound discovery. “Kakashi, I just…what are we going to do?” she whispered.

Kakashi shifted so as to get a better look at her, his eyebrows furrowing. “What do you mean?”

Rei sighed and tried to form a comprehensible thought. “I guess…I don’t know, I’m just…scared” she admitted. “Like I’m happy, of course, but…what does this mean for us moving forward?”

Kakashi didn’t quite understand what she was getting at. He cupped her cheek, replied, “It means that we’re building our life together, just like we always planned. I’m not going anywhere, Rei, and I never was.”

Rei shook her head. “No, I know that” she replied. “I never thought otherwise, and it’s not our relationship that I’m really concerned about anyway. It’s just…” She felt selfish even considering this, but she knew it needed to be addressed. She pressed the heels of her hands into her eye sockets, groaned. “It’s just about my fucking job.”

“Oh…” Kakashi murmured.

“I just don’t know what to do, I mean…I’ve worked so hard to get to where I am, and becoming captain is a huge deal. I didn’t realize how much it was going to mean to me until I had it in my hands but now…well, now this changes everything. I can’t be in the black ops and have a baby, it just doesn’t work like that. Even if I wish it did.” Rei gazed down at her stomach, frowned. “I just wish I knew what the right choice was.”

“Rei, look at me” Kakashi replied, tilting her chin up to face him. What he said next broke Rei’s heart, sent her hands shaking and her heart pounding. “You need to give up on your career.”

She didn’t want to be offended, but she was. With a gasp, she snapped upright and glared at him through the darkness. “Excuse me?”

“You’re right. You can’t do both. It’s too dangerous” Kakashi explained. “Rei, this is about more than just yourself now. You need to think about what’s best for our baby. And what’s best is quitting your job.”

Rei drew her knees up to her chest, averted her gaze. She felt tears prick at the back of her eyes and a lump rise in her throat. True as that may be, Kakashi didn’t need to be so damn harsh about it. Sniffling, she nodded slowly and croaked, “I know. You’re right.”

As she laid back and tried to get some sleep, she kept her hand firmly cemented on her stomach. She thought of the child they were bringing into the world, of the sacrifices you make when you become a parent. Her life really was bigger than just herself now. God, this is so fucked up, she thought to herself. Where was this a month ago, when she was ready for it? Why did life have to be so cruel? To promise her one thing and then rip it away from her for something else? She rolled onto her side and buried her face in her pillow, attempting to muffle the tears that would not stop coming now. Toshio crawled up nearer to her from the foot of the bed and rested his heavy head against her thighs. Rei scratched behind his ear and wondered if he knew. If he could sense that something was different in her now. She was sure he could. Animals always seemed to know these things.

Sleep did not come easy that night, but as she deliberated, Rei forced herself to accept the chaos that her life had become. To accept the daunting realization that nothing would ever be the same again. She rubbed her stomach and chewed her lower lip, ultimately making a difficult decision. In the next few days, she would approach Lady Tsunade and tell her the situation. And she would, as unfortunate as it was, be forced to back out of her captain’s duties. There was no other choice.

#kakashi hatake #rei natsuki #kakashi x oc #the scarecrow and the bell #naruto #naruto oc #fanfiction #ramblings

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365days365movies · 3 years

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March 1, 2021: The Hobbit (1977) (Part 1)

In a hole in the ground, there lived a Hobbit.

When I was 9, my school let us read a very special book, originally meant for kids, but beloved by everyone. My folks and I went to Borders Books (FUCK ME, I miss Borders), and we got an illustrated copy of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit. I can’t find that book, but if I ever find it again, Imma buy it IMMEDIATELY, I tell you what. And...oh shit, it’s on Amazon for $12?

Well. I just made that purchase, I guess. But yeah, I loved that book when I was a kid, and this was during the same year that Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy began, with Fellowship, of course. And I wouldn’t end up watching those until a few years later, but I loved those too when I saw them. And I’ve NEVER seen the abridged version, by the way, I’ve only ever seen the extended editions.

Although, I can’t call myself a hardcore fan. I’ve never read the Silmarillion, for example. Although, weirdly, I wanted it as a kid at some point, so I was almost there. But no, I ended up getting into comic books hardcore instead, so I can’t tell you the history of Tom Bombadil, but I can tell you about at least one of the fuckin’ 87 tieles that the Legion of Super-Heroes has been involved in. I’m not gonna like it though.

...Yes, I will, who am I kidding, I love the Legion. Anyway, I’ve still always been a fan of the franchise, and I was extremely excited when Jackson announced that he’d be doing an adaptation of The Hobbit! Seriously, I WAS FUCKING PUMPED, you have no idea. I re-read the book, I was super-excited...and then Harry Potter changed EVERYTHING. Kind of.

See, Harry Potter’s development as a two films made from one book seemed to kick off a trend. Breaking Dawn and Mockingjay are the two that immediately come to mind, as does this film. However, to be fair...that’s probably a coincidence. Yeah, this film was originally developed as two parts, WAY before Deathly Hallows got that treatment. And even then, Jackson and Del Toro had difficulty breaking it up into two parts, and three ended up being easier. Still...the change from two-to-three does feel a little connected to that trend.

Anyway, in celebration of that decision, I’m gonna break this review into three parts! Yes. Really. I want to see if it works. And so, let’s talk about the other most famous adaptation of this book by talking about its creators.

Yup. Rankin-Bass did 2D-animated cartoons, too! And this was one of their most famous ones, dating back to 1977. But wait! There’s more! This was followed by Ralph Bakshi’s version of Lord of the Rings by a different studio. You know, this one?

Yeah, that one. It was only based on the first two books, Fellowship and Towers. But it was technically unconnected to the Rankin-Bass version. Which is why it was REALLY weird when Rankin-Bass came out with an adaptation of the third book, Return of the King, right afterwards!

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE. Because both of Rankin-Bass’ specials were animated by a Japanese studio called Topcraft, who’d actually worked with Rankin-Bass for years. But then, they went bankrupt a few years later, and was bought by Isao Takahata, Toshio Suzuki, and...Hayao Miyazaki. And it was renamed as...

So, this is a Hobbit adaptation produced by the Rudolph people and animated by the people who would eventually become Studio Ghibli. Well, uh...holy fucking shit. Let’s DO THIS BABY. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/3)

As we’re wont to do in this story, we head to Hobbiton in the Shire, where we meet Bilbo Baggins (Orson Bean). A simple Hobbit in a simple home, with a happy and simple life. But one day, he’s approached by Gandalf (John Huston), who seeks a burglar to help with the mission of a group of dwarves, led by Thorin Oakenshield (Hans Conried).

We also immediately start off with two songs from the original book, and I have to say that I like them a but better in the Jackson movies, but they’re still well performed here. Anyway, after dinner, the true goal of their quest is given. Beneath Lonely Mountain, the ancestral home of the Dwarves, there was a kingdom ruled by the King Under the Mountain, Thorin’s grandfather.

Through reading the lyrics of the song “Far over the Misty Mountains,” Thorin tells the tale of the takeover of the Dwarves’ great golden hoard by the dragon Smaug. Bilbo is tasked to help the Dwarves steal back the treasure stolen from them. And, while he’s extremely reluctant to be a part of all this, Gandalf basically forces him to, the pushy bastard. And Bilbo’s Greatest Adventure now lies ahead!

youtube

Speaking of, here’s the song “The Greatest Adventure”, sung by Glenn Yarborough, who is the living personification of vibrato. Fuckin’ seriously, this guy’s voice is ridiculous, but I love it so much. As the night passes underneath Glenn Yarborough’s hypnotically shaky voice, and uncertain, Bilbo stares out at the moon. Once it’s over, we’re on our way to the Misty Mountains.

Bilbo’s having a tough time with the long journey and rough weather, and it doesn’t get much better when they encounter a trio of trolls. They send out Bilbo to try and steal some mutton from them, but he’s IMMEDIATELY a failure, and also manages to tell the trolls that the dwarves are present. Nice one, Bilbo. The trolls catch all of the dwarves, although Bilbo manages to escape.

The trolls argue about how to cook the dwarves, but before they get to do anything, Gandalf shows up and summons the dawn, turning the trolls into stone and saving the dwarves. While they’re initially quite frustrated by Bilbo’s failure, he makes it up by discovering a horde of goods and weapons stolen by the trolls. This is also where Bilbo gets his classic weapon, Sting.

Gandalf, cheeky bastard that he is, suddenly reveals a map that he’s kept secret from Thorin, its rightful owner. Bilbo, a classic cartomaniac, is able to interpret the map. But there are also runes that they can’t quite read. And so, Gandalf brings them to his friend, Elrond (), who’s wearing a sick-ass glittery tiara that’s hovering off his head. How come Hugo Weaving didn’t have that?

Anyway, Elrond identifies the swords that Thorin and Gandalf grabbed as Orcrist, the Goblin-Cleaver and Glamdring, the Foe-Hammer, because FUCK YEAH, BABY, those are some fuckin’ NAMES! WHOOOOOO!

Anyway, he also points them in the direction of the mountain, and shows them hidden features to the map. They head through the mountains after this, and rest in a cave. Unfortunately, this cave is on Goblin territory, and the group (sans Gandalf, who’s disappeared to make out with Cate Blanchett or whatever) is quickly ambushed by a group of now-horned Goblins, who chant their song as they go “Down, Down, to Goblin-Town”. Which is a song that I love, unironically. It compels me to sing along.

The Goblins nearly kill them when they discover Orcrist in Thorin’s possession, but they’re saved by the sudden appearance of Gandalf with the glowing sword Glamdring. He kills the Great Goblin, and the group run out with the Goblins in hot pursuit. Well, except for Bilbo.

Yeah, Bilbo falls into a cavern below the mountain, and the dwarves think him gone for good. However, he’s miraculously safe on the ground, having landed in an underground aquifer, in which lives THE GREATEST CHARACTER IN THE MIDDLE-EARTH FRANCHISE FUCKIN’ AT ME I DARE YOU

And just so we’re clear, I’m not talking about the film version only, I’m talking about Gollum/Smeagol in general. Granted, I don’t want a film starring him or anything (coughCruellacoughcoughMaleficentcoughcoughClaricecoughcough), but I love this dissociative little dude so much. He’s one of my favorite fantasy characters in general, and is also maybe the best example of a sympathetic villain, in film at least.

OK, to be fair, I love Andy Serkis’ version of the character a LOT, like a LOT a lot, and it’s a great version of the character. OK, so what do I think of this version? He’s...interesting, actually. If I’m honest, I kinda like him. This is similar to how I always pictured Gollum when I was a kid.

I mean, listen to this description from the book, yeah?

Deep down here by the dark water lived old Gollum, a small slimy creature. I don't know where he came from, nor who or what he was. He was Gollum - as dark as darkness, except for two big round pale eyes in his thin face...He was looking out of his pale lamp-like eyes for blind fish, which he grabbed with his long fingers as quick as thinking.

I dunno, that does sound more like this version of Gollum to me, just saying. Anyway, while Gollum is off fishing in the water, Bilbo gets up on the shore, where he finds a little golden ring Not important, just a ring, definitely means nothing at all, NOTHING AT ALL, NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

The hungry Gollum (Brother Theodore) happens upon Bilbo, precious, wonders if Bilbo would taste good, and is basically about to kill him for his sweet hobbit meat, before Bilbo takes out Sting. Now afraid, Gollum offers a game of riddles. The two make a deal: if Bilbo wins at a game of riddles, Gollum will show him the way out. But if Gollum wins, precious will eat him raaaaaaaw and wrrrrrrrrrriggling!

The riddles commence, in a super-fuckin’-classic moment, and also ends with maybe the most bullshit moment in all of fantasy lore. After clever riddles with answers involving eggs, wind, and time, Bilbo’s last riddle is “What’s in my pocket?” The fuck, Bilbo, that’s absolute BULLSHIT!

Not that it matters. Bilbo wins, but Gollum goes to find his ring to show it to Bilbo before he takes him away. Thing is, though, that’s what was in Bilbo’s pocket, which Gollum quickly figures out, my precious. He’s about to kill Bilbo to get back his birthday present, precious, but Bilbo discovers the secret trick of the ring: it turns the wearer invisible, AND THAT WILL NEVER BE A BAD THING EVER.

Gollum thinks that Bilbo’s escaped and runs after him toward the exit. This, of course, leads Bilbo towards the exit inadvertently, and he follows Gollum, then jumps over him to get back. To which Gollum screams the following:

Thief! Thief! Baggins! We hates it! Hates it! Forever!

I hear you, buddy. I hear you. Well, once Bilbo escapes, he reconvenes with the rest, and shares his adventure in the cave, but leaves out the ring. And Gandalf seems to know, based on his dialogue. And I checked, and he figured it out in the book and Jackson movie, too. And I gotta say...WHAT THE FUCK GANDALF

I mean...DUDE. CHECK UP on that shit. Do you wizard job, man! If you’d been like, “Dude...you didn’t find a magic ring that turns you invisible, ight, because we’re FUCKED if you did”, NONE OF THE LORD OF THE RINGS WOULD’VE HAPPENED, AND BOROMIR WOULD STILL BE ALIVE

Everybody talks about the fuckin’ eagles, but WHY DO I NEVER HEAR ANYONE MENTION THIS SHIT? Gandalf the Grey: Middle-Earth’s most irresponsible asshole, I swear...

This seems like a good place to pause, actually. See you in the next part!

#the hobbit #the hobbit 1977 #rankin-bass #orson bean #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #john huston #gandalf #otto preminger #cyril ritchard #brother theodore #gollum #don messick #paul frees #glenn yarbrough #j.r.r. tolkien #rankin bass #hans conried

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mst3kproject · 7 years

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K05/302: Gamera

The amazing thing about the very first Gamera movie is that they meant it. By the time it died in 1971, the original Gamera franchise had become a joke even to its makers. The lack of budget and effort were visible on screen, and the inclusion of things like Guiron, or Gamera playing his theme song on Zigra's back, suggest that nobody was taking any of this very seriously anymore. But five years earlier (only five years) when they made Gamera, they weren't kidding at all. They really wanted to make a scary kaiju film, and put everything they had into doing so.

The movie starts when a nuclear-armed bomber crashes in the arctic, and its warhead explodes in the wreck – this wakes Gamera, a sixty-metre, fire-breathing, saber-toothed turtle that has been sleeping in the glacier since Atlantis sank all those thousands of years ago. Gamera begins flying around the world creating havoc, but also saving the life of a turtle-obsessed little boy named Toshio (I watched a version with subtitles, not the American dub that begat the tradition of naming annoying Japanese kids Kenny). Toshio thereafter becomes convinced that his vanished pet turtle, Chibi, has grown to enormous size and become Gamera, and embarks on a personal crusade to stop the army from killing it.

Fortunately, at least from Toshio's point of view, the army's not having much luck anyway. Heat won't kill Gamera, not after he already survived an atomic explosion. Electricity is tried, and fails. Heavy artillery doesn't even make him mad. Fire turns out to be what he eats. They try an experimental 'freeze bomb' to keep him still while they dynamite the hill below him to flip him on his back, but he just flies away. In the end, there's only one thing they can do, and that's trap the turtle in a rocket and blast him to Mars!

I spent half my review of It Lives by Night complaining that bats aren't as scary as everybody thinks they are. Now here's Gamera, a movie about a creature that isn't scary at all! Nobody's scared of turtles. Even people who are terrified of snakes and lizards generally don't mind them, because popular ideology does not associate turtles with anything harmful. Turtles are proverbially slow and rather helpless, unable to right themselves if flipped on their backs. Their evolution has sacrificed speed and power for the protection of the cumbersome shell. Rather than being in any way sources of threat, turtles are often symbolic of the ability to hunker down and weather it. Making a movie about a monster turtle is, when you think about it, even more absurd than making one about killer bunny rabbits.

The people at Daiei knew this, of course, and the movie goes to some trouble to counter Gamera's general turtle-ness. Being a turtle, he's not fast and his motion is severely restricted by the shell (I'd also bet that poor Aragaki Teruo, the guy in the suit, had a hell of a sore back at the end of a filming day). His enormous size helps, but apparently it just wasn't enough in the minds of the writers to really make him scary. That's why they've also given him teeth, including the upward-pointing tusks that are one of his most notable features. He breathes fire as well as absorbing it, and he flies. A flying turtle is a very strange idea, and Gamera's way of flying, by spinning and shooting fire out of the arm and leg sockets in his shell, is particularly bizarre. The only natural turtle feature the movie makes use of is the invulnerable shell.

When I try to imagine what might have inspired somebody to choose a turtle for their monster movie, I draw an almost total blank. In Japanese folklore the turtle is a symbol of stability and longevity, and a guardian of the city of Kyoto. There are stories about mountain-sized tortoises, but these are not threatening creatures, either. All I can really come up with is that they wanted something reptilian, to match Toho's Godzilla. A dinosaur, or even a lizard or crocodile, would have been too Godzilla-like, though, and a snake doesn't lend itself well to a man-in-suit kaiju depiction... that left a turtle, and they had to work with it.

Gamera is a lot scarier-looking in this movie than he is in any of the sequels. The black and white film helps, making everything look more atmospheric and menacing, but the design of Gamera himself is also slightly different. It's a more elaborate and detailed suit than in the later films, and more effort seems to have gone into making him pointy, with the claws and teeth and the sharp scales on his back. He also looks less rubbery here than he would in later movies, although that may be less about the suit and more about the cinematography: Gamera is always lit from near the ground to emphasize his height, and is more likely to attack by night than by day, when he can be seen by firelight. Whereas in later movies Gamera is treated like a sort of theme park mascot, here shots are set up to make him a genuine monster. The images of fleeing people being crushed by debris or roasted by Gamera's fire aren't good from an effects standpoint, but they are very explicit about what's happening.

Gamera is still damned odd, though, so it's fortunate that everybody in this movie seems able to take things in stride. When the ship in the opening sequence sends a message that it has sighted a sixty-metre turtle, nobody in the American air force base bats an eye. In any sane movie such a thing would be dismissed as a hallucination or mistake, and the Americans would have to see the monster for themselves to be convinced. In Gamera people think it's weirder that Toshio likes drawing turtles than they do when an actual two-hundred-foot turtle appears in the arctic! About the only time people react with what seems like an appropriate level of what the fuck astonishment is when they realize Gamera can fly.

The weirdest thing in this entire movie, though, is the opening. As the movie begins, a number of planes are on their way over the pole, carrying nuclear weapons. There's only one thing that can possibly be going on here: World War III has begun. One of the planes crashes in the arctic and frees Gamera, but what happens to the rest we don't know. They can't have actually made it to the USA to drop their nukes, because Dr. Hidaka is being interviewed in New York shortly afterwards and the city appears quite whole and happy. It seems everybody has just completely forgotten about the nuclear strike.

By 'everybody' I don't just mean the characters this movie is specifically concerned with, either – I mean the whole damn world, including the people who ordered the attack and the people it was targeted at. Nobody in the movie ever explicitly blames the USSR but in a movie from 1965 there's really nobody else who could be directly attacking the United States. Later in the movie, however, the US and the USSR are working together on Z Plan, as if a giant turtle attacking Japan is somehow more important than the cold war suddenly getting hot. I'm pretty sure that in literally any other movie, the nuclear attack would be important or even central to the plot. Here it just sort of vanishes.

Finally, I must ask what we are to make of the relationship between Gamera and Toshio. Actually, 'relationship' is probably the wrong word – they only interact once, when Gamera saves Toshio from falling to his death off the lighthouse. This appears to be a deliberate act of mercy on Gamera's part, but if so, it's the only evidence of such behaviour in the entire movie. For the rest of the film, Gamera feeds on energy, stomps around destroying stuff, and flies away from threats, but he never again appears to notice the humans at his feet. Saving Toshio is also the only time there seems to be any real intelligence or purpose to Gamera's actions. The rest of the time, he is only an animal trying to survive.

I guess technically, Toshio is in the movie because kids like monster movies and need a child character to identify with, but that's really not enough to justify his presence. In later Gamera movies, the children are often the ones who actually save the day (as in Gamera vs Viras) or at least have a place, however poorly-justified, in the action (as in Gamera vs Gyaos). In Gamera, Toshio spends the whole movie chasing after his turtle friend, but it has no effect on the plot besides to keep the kid as an observer in the middle of things. He is never disabused of the notion that Gamera is his vanished pet, or that the monster means well in spite of all the destruction he is causing. The movie seems to believe that having introduced Toshio, it needs to somehow keep him around for the entire running time, and therefore makes excuses to do so.

Of course, the real purpose of Toshio's rescue is to put something in reserve for the sequel. If we hadn't seen Gamera do this in the first movie, him saving the world in Gamera vs Barugon would come totally out of left field. It's just unfortuante that there's no place for the interaction in this movie's narrative.

Gamera is really just as silly and nonsensical as its own sequels, but the tone is totally different. Here everything, from Gamera's bizarre ability to fly to his rescue of Toshio to Aoyagi's unrequited crush on Kyoko, is meant to be taken entirely seriously. This is why Gamera comes across as one of the most earnest and sincere films in the series, and seems to have the most respect for its audience as it never talks down to us. Unfortuantely, it's also among the less memorable of the Gamera movies. As far as making an impression goes, apparently you can't beat a pug with a knife for a face.

#mst3k #reviews #gamera #60s

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holdingart · 7 years

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Practicality’s Kindness (pt. 1)

Idk what the writing equivalent of a doodle is, but that’s essentially what this is. A quick de-stress fic about an old idea.

Ume-Ume clicked her tongue and scowled at the mess of papers that littered her daughter’s floor. “Dhis isn’t what I thought would be happenin’ dhen you ashked to work here, Toshi.”

Toshio gave her an apologetic smile. “I know, Ume-Ume. You’ve been very patient and hospitable to us. I promise we will organize this mess as soon as possible.”

She didn’t look like she believed him, but didn’t press him. Instead she tiptoed best she could around the mess he and Hashimoto had made and went into the kitchen. Toshio knelt down and began picking them up and putting them glanced at the floor, the combined notes about possible strategies and counter-strategies, including psych profiles on Takeko’s possible opponents and the kind of shogi players they were. Anything they could use.

“So according to the rules established, it’s possible to request a change of form. There’s at least five different variants, so I think we should at least have a basic understanding of differences in forms and best way–”

“That will be unecessary, Hashimoto-san,” Toshio put a hand on Hashimoto’s shoulder. “I admire your diligence, but there’s no need to give yourself extra work.”

Hashimoto-san bit his lip and looked away. “I can’t keep acting like this, Toshio. I can’t keep dragging everyone down like this.

Ah, so that’s it. Of course he wanted to do this, after everything that had happened– with Jun, the Raijingu Dojo, the Spirit World– it must be frustrating for him. Toshio admired his work ethic, and understood how motivational love could be. However he couldn’t let this infatuation deter them from their mission.

Before he could say anything, there was a knock at the door, followed by the sound of the baby waking up and crying.

“Dhat better be de damn Emph’er, an’ dhe better have a good reason t’be here. We just got dhat baby asleep!”

“I hope I was never as tiring as that baby is,” Masashi glanced at the huffing Ume-Ume and shuddered.

“Agreed.” Toshio said.

The moment to talk ruined, Toshio made his way towards the door while Hashimoto continued cleaning up (“how many notes do we have?”).

Much as a surprise it would be to their companions, Toshio did have a bit of a gambling streak in him. The thought of probabilities, especially when he knew the people and their flaws he was playing against, and how those outside variables could change a game, was exciting. It’s too bad the risk to his person was always higher than anything he could possibly gain if he won.

This time though, the risk was virtually nonexistent. There were three possible outcomes, and from the way the person was knocking, he could make an educated guess.

“Hatch-san. What an unexpected surprise.”

“Toshio! My man, my main ninja man! How, uh, how’re your doing pal? The, uh, how is the shogi stuff going? The little lord doing alright?”

“As well as he can.” Toshio narrowed his eyes. “Why, what do you know?”

Hachirobei gave a very forced laugh and didn’t meet his eyes. “Oh nothing! Nothing at all, I swears it!”

“…hm.” He clicked his tongue. “Well, if that’s all you needed I should really-”

Just as he was closing the door though, Hachirobei stuck his foot out and began forcing his way in. “Well ya see Tosh, I, uh, I’ve been hearing so much about Ume-Ume, and ya know? I just gotta meet her, y’know?”

You’ve heard her name maybe three times before yesterday, why are you here?

Curiosity won out, and Toshio stepped aside. Hachirobei bowed his head in acknowledgement and entered. He gave a low whistle. "Looks like you’ve all been busy with…whatever all this is. So does that mean things have been going well?“ "As well it can, I guess.” Hashimoto glared at Hachirobei when he started to laugh. "What’s so funny?“ "You are, my little lord! Or our little ninja I guess. You’re starting to sound just alike.” He picked up a few loose leafs of paper and handed them to Hashimoto. After a hesitant moment, Hashimoto accepted Hachirobei’s hand. Toshio cleared his throat.

“As you can see, we’re in the middle of our preparations.”

“Yeah, and that is why I am here, to add a fresh introspection and to, uh, add levity and variety to your, uh, training regimen. I guess.”

That was the most rehearsed bunch of nonsense I’ve heard.

Masashi seemed to agree. “‘Introspection’? Are you sure that’s the right word you wanna use, Hatch?”

“Well yeah, I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s what she–” he paused. “She, I mean Momoko that is. A-anyway, we’re staying here, right? Show me the shogi, man.”

To make his point that he was here to stay, Hatch sat cross legged next to the board and grinned. Hashimoto sighed, but Toshio noticed him smiling as he sat down and started explaining the basics of shogi.

Ok, Takeko. You convinced us to hide and practice at Ume-Ume’s house and now have Hachirobei guarding us. Where are you? What happened that your so scared of?

“Wha-waitwaitwait, you’re goin’ too fast for me, Masa. What’s this piece do?”

“It’s a castle like I TOLD you, and they’re defensive fortifications–”

“Smaller words please.”

Or maybe you wanted someone to take Hashimoto-san’s temper and have him practice explaining shogi in simpler terms. That’s a distinct possibility.

#soh #samurai of hyuga #writing lines

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shimmeringclouds · 3 years

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Chapter 3

A cold beer can was pressed against your cheek, the cool water droplets smearing across your skin as you sighed blissfully. Ozo released his hold on you as you settled down onto the back seats of his taxi, leaning against the door frame as he brushed away the hair from his eyes.

"The AC doesn't work in here, so this is all I can do for you." You nodded, quietly thanking him before he shut the door, moving towards the driver's seat and strapping in. "You were headed for Iriabi, right?"

You paused, glancing at the back of his head.

"Iriabi...?"

"Yeah. That's where this road leads to. Want me to drop you off?"

"Uh.. N-No, I live in Akatsuka, so..." You were too embarrassed to say out loud that you had never heard of Iriabi before, and you shrunk down a little into your seat to try and avoid his gaze in the rear view mirror. Ozo raised a brow at your reaction but shrugged nonetheless, starting up the car and getting it into gear as it began rolling slowly down the uneven road, gradually picking up speed.

"Akatsuka, huh?" he continued, not wasting the opportunity to start some small talk with a pretty girl, "I've never seen you around before! And I never forget cute faces like yours once I've seen 'em." He winked back at you through the mirror, chuckling at how your mouth feel agape at his obvious flirting.

"Maybe a name for your face might help me remember?"

The sensible side of your brain was already screaming at the man for being so shameless with those dumb and cringe-worthy pickup lines, as if he had the audacity to think that they were good. But after being alone for so long, after having virtually no one to talk to like this for months on end, and especially after being complimented so nicely for the first time in who knows how long, as sad as it may sound, your heart jumped for joy and craved for more.

"It's [L/N] [Y/N]."

"[Y/N]..." he murmured, as if tasting the word in his tongue curiously, his lips twisting into a cheeky grin, "Suits you! Pretty name for a pretty girl!"

You stammered out another word of thanks, pinching the skin of your arm as a reminder to not to get ahead of yourself. You pushed away the hopeful thoughts from your mind, knowing that he wasn't serious. No one had ever been serious before, and this wasn't any different. Right?

The car ride back to Akatsuka village was a lot shorter then the walk would have been, and you found yourself re-entering the town after around ten minutes. Ozo had filled that small silence with gentle hums of a song you didn't recognise and tapping his fingers against the steering wheel, his demeanour a lot more relaxed and slack compared to your tense form.

"What's your address? I'll drop you off!" His sudden question startled you out of your quiet stupor, and you quickly gave him the street name.

"Do you need directions?"

"Nah! I know this town like the back of my hand," he bragged, making a quick right turn as he rubbed his index finger under the bridge of his noise. True to his word, he managed to navigate his way through the wide and empty streets until he finally pulled the car to a halt outside your front door.

"Here's your stop!" He chuckled to himself, watching as you began to clamber out of the car, beer can still in your grasp. You came up to his window, too busy taking out your purse to notice him eye the meter momentarily before turning to you with the same curved smile.

"Did I forget to tell you? First timers get a free ride!"

You paused, staring at him wide eyed. Surely that wasn't a real thing?

"A-Are you sure? I have money--"

"Don't worry about it! You don't need to pay me a single yen."

"I... Well, thank you," was all you could say. You barely had enough energy to continue interacting anymore. You just wanted to go inside and lie down in front of your fan for the rest of the day. The air was stifling.

"It's nothing..!" Ozo's mind flew to his boss, knowing he wouldn't approve of him doing this, but then again there were many things his boss didn't approve of. This one would just have to be swept under the rug.

"Have a nice day," you bowed hastily, turning on your heel and heading to your front door, keys already grasped tightly between your fingers. Ozo flailed for words, not wanting to let you go just yet, but you were already halfway through the door, your face obscured by your strands of hair.

"You too, sweetheart! Maybe I'll see you again sometime!"

»»-----　♔　-----««

He never got a verbal response, only the sound of your door shutting behind you, the noise bouncing off the walls of nearby buildings and echoing around him. He sat back in his seat, rubbing his finger once again under his nose, grinning to himself.

"Nailed it."

Ozo began manoeuvring his car away from your home, sending one final glance back to your house through the side mirror before it disappeared from view.

Now that he was alone again, the quietness in his car and the town was really starting to bore him. It hadn't even been that long since he finished his break over at Iriabi with his youngest brother, but he felt as if he deserved another. It wasn't like there were going to be many people who needed a lift around here, anyway.

With a soft hum, Ozo diverted his car from the main road and set off down a smooth stone pathway instead, the grass on the edges of the road now becoming more clean cut and less wild and untamed.

Over the line of trees that were bunched together in the distance, he could make out two large and familiar houses, the sun glinting off of their grey tiled roofs. His eyes drifted over to the one on the right, with the roof being slightly lower and flatter compared to the other.

A smirk spread across his face as a thought drifted through his mind, and he pressed his foot down further onto the gas.

Rolling up in front of white stone fencing with the entrance carefully carved into a large circular shape, Ozo wasted no time in driving the car through the entrance and parking it in front of the wooden sliding doors at the front of the house. He left the car to sit in the gravelled driveway, whistling as he swung his keys around his index finger before allowing it to slip into his pocket.

He knocked loudly on the door, rocking back and forth on his heels as his brown orbs wandered around his surroundings, noticing the same coloured flowers and neatly cut hedges that were there the last time he was there, which seemed like such a long time ago. The sign with the words 'Midorito Estate' carved into it looked as if it had just been freshly polished, the wood surface shining smoothly under the sun.

The heat was starting to really irritate him by the time the door was slid open, revealing a man dressed in a grey yukata, whose eyes were narrowed and lips pulled into a scowl at the sight of Ozo on the other side of the door.

"Chorosuke! Long time no see!" Ozo cheerily greeted with a lazy wave of his hand.

"You were literally here just last night, Ozo," Chorosuke growled, his words turning into a strained yelp as Ozo simply walked past him.

"Well, it's been a long day for me." Kicking his shoes off with little grace or care for where they landed, Ozo swiftly evaded the angered hands of Chorosuke as they attempted to throttle him, easily navigating his way to the main sitting room and flopping himself down onto the tatami flooring in front of a large fan.

"Who said you could come in here?!" Ozo grumbled lowly, ignoring the man as he shut his eyes and relished in the cold wind as it breezed across his face, sifting through his hair and traversing down his neck. The collar of his shirt flapped noisily under the fan's wind, the whirring of its many hands almost enough to drown out Chorosuke's berating.

Almost.

"You're lucky I don't call the police on you! Do you have any idea what that would do to my family name?!"

"Yeah yeah, I heard ya' the last time you told me. Just relax.... We're brothers, anyway, aren't we?" Ozo's voice was already groggy with sleepiness, the whole ambiance of the room very close to lulling him to sleep.

Chorosuke stood by the door, a tense look in his eyes as he registered Ozo's words.

The word 'brother' was still foreign to him. It left an odd taste on his tongue whenever he spoke the word, and an equally odd ring in his ear when he heard it. All his life he had been brought up with his one and only younger sister, but now over the past two years, a handful of men show up with the same face as him, and one of them claiming them all to be long lost brothers.

It might not be far from the truth, especially with the fair bits of evidence he had seen, but even so...

"Hey, you got any beer? My stash ran out."

...Even so, how could he be related to such an idiot?

"Is that all you ever come here for?" Chorosuke grumbled, reluctantly moving over to a door on the far left wall which lead to the kitchen and grabbing a beer can from the fridge. He shut the fridge door, only to open it a moment later to grab a can for himself. He was going to need it if he was now forced to deal with that in his living room.

"If it's free, I'll take it," Ozo chuckled as the other returned, gladly taking the beverage and briefly pressing it to his warm neck before cracking it open.

"Then I'll charge you next time."

"You're already rich enough!"

Chorosuke hid the small smile threatening to break onto his lips behind his drink, turning his head away to peer outside of the opened doors revealing his vast and beautifully decorated back garden. It was the same blue sky, he noted, and it looked just as serene as it did when he saw it last.

"I'm surprised Toshio isn't with you today. Actually, that's probably a good thing..." Chorosuke began. He was more used to the two menaces storming his house at the same time instead of on separate occasions.

Ozo shrugged, "I haven't seen him all day. Who knows what he's doing..." A stretch of silence passed before Ozo suddenly snapped his fingers, his eyes lighting up. "Oh yeah! Did you make the call yet?"

"I managed to reach them this morning," Chorosuke nodded. "They'll be here by tomorrow night, if they're not swamped with work."

"That quick? I thought they'd be here by the end of the week!"

"Well, Hajime is unemployed, so he has plenty of time on his hands, and Karatsugu is barely paid attention to in his office. I'm not too surprised."

Ozo made a small noise of agreement. A soft smile stretched across his lips as he gazed at the fully grown maple tree sat in the centre of Chorosuke's garden. It had been a while since he and his brothers had gotten together, and he would be lying if he said he wasn't excited. The memories of the last time they gathered together under the same roof made him giddy with anticipation as to what havoc they would wreak this time around.

His thoughts swirled back and forth through his mind for a while before one particular thought lingered in front of his mind, allowing his smile to morph into an impish grin. He elbowed Chorosuke beside him to garner his attention, who only stared at him with an unimpressed grimace.

"Guess what, guess what?" He was already snickering. Chorosuke knew he didn't want to hear whatever this story was going to be, but he had no other choice, unfortunately.

"....What?" He sighed.

"I'm pretty sure I picked up a hitch hiker off the road today," Ozo began, "and she was super pretty. Like, gorgeous."

"And why are you telling me this?"

"Because! Don't you wanna hear about how big her boo-"

"Shut up!" Chorosuke hissed, grabbing a newspaper from nearby and smacking the roll over his target's head. Ozo only chuckled, barely moving away from his attacker. "What if Dayoko was to hear you?! You have no manners whatsoever, you dolt!"

"You say that, but your face is so red!" Ozo began to cackle with laughter, his free hand smacking his knee. Chorosuke stammered, a sweat now breaking out on his temple as he attempted to right himself.

"I-It is not! Just stop talking about it!"

"Aww, but I'm serious! It's been so long since I've seen a new face as cute as hers," Ozo sighed dreamily, his gaze now distant as he remembered your features, your voice, the little ticks of nervousness throughout the whole taxi ride... "And I know where she lives, too! So I can visit her whenever!"

"Please don't. That's just creepy. Borderline stalking," Chorosuke shook his head. He went to take another sip of his beer, only to find the can already empty. Ozo shook his, also finding it devoid of his favourite alcoholic drink. He gave Chorosuke a pointed look, eliciting a groan from him.

He stood up to fetch another beer. Maybe something stronger this time.

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myaekingheart · 3 years

Text

137. Dishonor

read the scarecrow and the bell on ao3 index | from the beginning | < previous | next >

Storm clouds rolled in overhead as Rei made her way cautiously to the dango shop. Toshio peered up at the sky, tongue lopping out of his mouth as if he was anxiously awaiting the first raindrops. Truthfully, Rei didn’t want to do this. Not today. Not ever, actually. But Sekkachi had not given her much of a choice. She said what she had said, left her consolation gift, and Rei was required to confront her now. To interrogate her on this rapid change of heart. Had Rei’s scathing words really gotten through to her? Or was Sekkachi just attempting to stroke her own ego? Expecting forgiveness on the grounds of having given a thoughtful gift? Either way, Rei didn’t think she cared enough to find out and yet here she was, meeting her anyway. The unavoidable tug in her chest dragged her onward.

Sekakchi was seated in their usual spot when Rei arrived, a cigarette pinched between taut lips. She gazed out at the passerby, absentminded and forlorn. Rei idled in the doorway, clenching and unclenching her fist at her side. From behind the counter, Amai gently invited Rei to sit with a gentle nod toward the table. The look in her rosy eyes hinted that she was somehow emotionally invested in the situation, even though this had nothing to do with her whatsoever. Gritting her teeth, Rei made her way to the table, crossed her arms authoritatively, and cleared her throat.

“I was wondering how much longer you were going to keep me waiting” Sekkachi said. She frowned as she smashed the tip of her cigarette into the ash tray.

“Is that really all you have to say?” Rei snapped back. “Not even a ‘hello’? No ‘how are you’?” Rolling her eyes, she flopped down into the booth with great frustration, already regretting ever doing this.

Sekkachi reached for her glass of water, rolling it back and forth between her hands and letting the condensation drip down her fingers. “So is there a reason you called me here?” she asked. Her voice was far less abrasive than usual; her trademark sting had completely dissolved. Instead, she sounded strained, bitter, sad. Rei refused to let this fact snuff out her anger.

“Don’t you start with me” she snapped, pointing a harsh index finger in Sekkach’is face. “Listen, the only reason I asked you here was to formally thank you for the gift. Nothing else.” She gritted her teeth, forced herself to concentrate. “Honestly, if my own morals weren’t so damn loud, I wouldn’t even give you this much, but it didn’t feel right to not at least acknowledge it, so there. Thank you. Now fuck you.”

Long, calloused fingers traced the grooves of the wooden table as Sekkachi pursed her lips and absorbed the sharp, heartless gratitude. “You’re never going to forgive me, are you?” she asked softly.

“Why the fuck should I?” Rei snapped. “I’ve forgiven you way too many times, Sekkachi. This is the last straw. I’m through.”

“I know” Sekkachi whispered. For a moment, Rei even thought she saw sincere regret in her face. But no, that was impossible. A trick of the light, even. Sekkachi regretted nothing. Or at least nothing they spoke of aloud.

Rei leaned back in her seat, mildly satisfied with Sekkachi’s dejection. “I’m glad we’re on the same page then” she muttered. “Honestly, I hope you get to sit with this for the rest of your life. And I hope it eats you away inside every miserable morning you wake up.”

“It will” Sekkachi pursed her lips.

“Good” Rei spat. She eyed the door, began scooting her way out of the booth. “Well then, I’ve said everything I needed to say.”

“Wait!” Sekkachi called, suddenly desperate. She reached out to take hold of Rei’s wrist. Her eyes were wide with longing. A clap of thunder rattled the sky. “You only just got here” she said. “And the weather’s bad. At least stay and…and get something to eat.”

“Why should I?” Rei scoffed. “It’s not like you are.”

Sighing, Sekkachi reined in her mounting frustrated and muttered, “Fine. I’ll get food, too. Just…don’t go. Not yet.”

In all their years of friendship, Rei didn’t think she had ever seen Sekkachi so pathetic and needy. As much as she wanted to abandon her, to revel in the sight of her groveling in the mud, deep down Rei wanted to keep twisting the knife. It wasn’t often that she was given an opportunity like this.

The pair sat in silence for a long, torturous moment, speaking only to place their orders with Amai. She cocked a brow in suspicion when Sekkachi ordered something other than ice water for once in her life, but did not question it. The tension was almost palpable. Her emotional investment had since waned in contrast.

“So…” Rei finally said, attempting to sound as apathetic as possible, “What made you get that blanket, anyway?”

“Chikara suggested it” Sekkachi replied, eyes downcast. Rei froze. So she had spoken with Chikara after all. It made sense. Rei didn’t really consider Sekkachi capable of coming to terms with this on her own. Sekkachi took a meager sip of her water and continued. “I was so pissed about what happened, I called her up to see if she thought I was being irrational or not.”

“And?”

“What do you think?” Sekkachi snarked. A little of her usual flame lingered in her tone.

“I’m not surprised” Rei replied, suppressing a chuckle. “She always did know how to whip your ass back in line.”

Shaking her head, Sekkachi swirled her water in her glass and replied softly, “She made it very clear to me just how out of line I was. I just—I don’t know, there’s been a lot of shit going through my mind lately.”

“Oh yeah?” Rei scoffed. “Like what?” She doubted anything Sekkachi was facing was any worse than her own inner turmoil.

Sekkachi swatted at the air dismissively. “It’s not that important, shit’s just hit the fan on the home front” she said sourly. “Tenjikubotan recently broke up with one of her gentleman callers, and has been hysterical ever since. As if she doesn’t have dozens of men lining up for her on the daily, the dumb bitch. And Roru had to drop out of the chunin exams at the last minute. Turns out one of her teammates is anorexic or something. Passed out during training and had to get rushed to the hospital. So of course I’m stuck dealing with all of their bullshit.”

Rei cocked a brow, unamused but deep down involuntarily sympathetic. “As if that gives you a free pass to talk shit” she muttered.

“I said I was sorry!” Sekkachi shouted, gripping at her sapphire hair in frustration. “What more do you want from me? Listen, I’m still not totally happy about this but I know it’s not my place to say anything. I heard that loud and clear when Chikara ripped me a new one. But also, I just…I don’t want to lose you.”

Pursing her lips, Rei turned her attention to the street as she considered Sekkachi’s words. The rain was pouring heavily now, soaking the ground and fogging shop windows. Something uncomfortable took root in the pit of her chest. An uncertainty. “So what?” Rei finally muttered, bitter. “Still doesn’t mean I forgive you.”

“And I wouldn’t expect you to” Sekkachi replied. “I just want you to know that I admit I made a big fucking mistake. I fucked shit up. I never should have said what I did. I know you’re happy about this, and that this is what you’ve always wanted. I had no right to shit on your parade. I was just…” Here, her voice trailed off and her brown eyes dropped to the floor. Toshio tilted his head up at her from underneath the table.

“Just what?” Rei asked. She was nowhere near in the mood for suspense.

Sekkachi chewed her lower lip, shook her head. She hated to admit this. She hated feeling weak and pathetic and—“Scared” she finally answered. Heaving a sigh, she asked, “Remember that mission where you got captured, and the enemy was convinced you were knocked up? And you got so freaked out about it that you dragged me to the hospital to get a formal test done?” Rei nodded. “I told you that no matter what the result would be, I’d be there for you. I wasn’t lying when I said that. But I also knew deep down that you were fine. I didn’t think you were pregnant, and you weren’t. Listen, Rei, I want to be there for you. I don’t want to abandon you. I’d never be able to live with myself if something happened to you when I had my back turned. But I’m just…I’m fucking terrified for you. I don’t want you to end up getting hurt, or worse—”

“I won’t” Rei interrupted. Slightly taken aback, Sekkachi recoiled. Her eyes glistened, her mouth slack. This was perhaps the most vulnerable Rei had ever seen her and that alone scared her. Where was the sharp sting of her words? The abrasive apathy? Rei had underestimated just how badly Naru’s death had broken her, it seemed. Amai slipped their orders across the table, acting quickly so as to not interrupt their conversation. Rei gave a minute smile and nod as thank you, waited for privacy before saying more. “I know you’re scared, and I know you have every reason to be, but don’t you think I’m fucking terrified, too? This wasn’t exactly part of the plan, I-I didn’t mean for things to happen this way” she admitted.

“Do you regret it?” Sekkachi asked. She knew the question was likely out of line, but she needed to know regardless.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Rei shook her head. “No. I don’t regret it at all.”

Sekkachi nodded slowly, deliberating. “That’s…that’s good” she whispered. “That’s really good.”

“Do you regret it?” Rei asked, and it was not her own pregnancy that she was referring to but rather Sekkachi’s less than stellar reaction.

Sekkachi poked at her food, unable to look Rei in the eyes. She had ordered a big brick of honey toast, one of Naru’s favorites, that she knew she would never realistically be able to eat. Sitting before it at a time like this just felt right. Comforting. As if Naru was somehow here with them. She would’ve known exactly what to say and do at a time like this. Naru would’ve kept Sekkachi in check, clapped a hand over her mouth before she said something dumb and encouraged her to be more enthusiastic and involved.

Truthfully, Sekkachi regretted a lot of things. This—the circumstance at hand—just so happened to be one of them. “Haven’t I proven myself guilty enough?” she said sourly. “Rei, I accept it now. If this is what you want, I accept it. I’ll do my best to be there for you, and to help as much as I can. I just…I need you to promise me one thing.”

“What?” Rei asked. She was almost even too scared to know.

Sekkachi glanced around the shop once, twice, three times over as if she questioned the validity of their privacy. They were like actors on a stage, spotlights glaring, with an entire audience privy to their own personal melodrama. That was all well and good but this, this one fragile moment, they could not have. Squeezing her eyes shut tight, Sekkachi’s hand skated slowly across the table to take hold of Rei’s. Her grip was tight, clammy, desperate. Rei wondered if her illness had already begun to flare. And then she opened her eyes, locking tight on Rei. A hoarse whisper hung on her tense, quivering lips. “Just…don’t you dare die on me. You promise?”

Rei gulped back her own anxiety, squeezed Sekkachi’s hand in terrified solidarity. “I promise.”

#rei natsuki #sekkachi fumeiyo #kakashi x oc #the scarecrow and the bell #naruto #naruto oc #fanfiction

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myaekingheart · 4 years

Text

114. Move Along

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When all you got to keep is strong Move along, move along like I know you do And even when your hope is gone Move along, move along just to make it through Move along -Move Along, All-American Rejects

When Kakashi returned home that evening, he found Rei snuggled up on the couch with a nondescript book. The cover didn’t look familiar, all black and white and abstract. She seemed so engrossed in it, he hated to disturb her, but he feared that if he didn’t say anything, she wouldn’t even realize he was home. Toshio had fallen asleep on the couch beside her, his heavy head on her stomach and her legs forced to maneuver around him in a twisted, sprawling position. Kakashi cleared his throat and Toshio picked his head up, sniffing at the air. His eyes made a beeline straight for the paper bag Kakashi held up, grease staining the bottom and steam wafting from the top. “I brought home dinner” he grinned.

Rei blinked herself out of her reading stupor, peeking up at him over her book. She gave a single nod before setting her book down and rising to her feet. Toshio followed suit, desperate for the slightest scrap of food.

“What are you reading?” Kakashi asked. He carefully lifted two tin takeout containers out of the bag before fishing around for chopsticks and packets of soy sauce.

“Hmm? Oh, nothing, just a dumb little book collecting dust on the shelves” Rei replied flippantly. She couldn’t meet his eyes, she seemed awkard and uncomfortable. She gingerly picked up a pair of chopsticks and carried her dinner to the table.

“Is it any good?” Kakashi asked. “You seemed pretty focused.”

Rei shrugged, drawing her knees up to her chest as she poked at her food. It was her favorite dish from Chukaryori, something that would normally fill her with warmth and happiness, but tonight she barely had an appetite. Her stomach twisted and creaked, a reminder of the path things had quickly taken.

“So how does it feel?” Kakashi asked. He tugged his mask down, took a bite of his kara-age.

“Hmm? How does what feel?” Rei asked absently.

“Being promoted to captain” Kakashi grinned, poking her playfully with his chopstick. “You’ve worked so hard for this, I can’t think of anyone who deserves this more.”

“You think so?” Rei asked, almost mockingly. Truthfully, she didn’t think she deserved it at all. She didn’t know if she even really wanted this. Shaking her head, she shoved a large piece of sweet and sour pork in her mouth, her cheek bulging as she chewed.

“Of course” Kakashi assured her. “Why? Do you feel like you don’t?”

Rei took another bite of her subuta and looked to Toshio begging at her side. “I don’t know” she whispered. “Things just took a really weird turn, I just…wasn’t expecting this.”

Sensing her unease, Kakashi reached for her hand across the table. He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb as he asked, “You are happy about this, aren’t you? You should be.”

“Oh god, Kakashi” Rei whined, bringing her hand to her forehead. “Please don’t tell me how I should feel. I’m…I’m feeling a lot of things right now.”

“Like what?” Kakashi asked. His eyes were wide with sympathy, with curiosity, with concern.

Sucking in a deep breath, Rei rolled her head in an attempt to stretch the tension out of her neck. “This just wasn’t at all how I expected things to go” she finally whispered. Kakashi waited patiently for her to continue as she spoke slowly, trying feel out the proper words to explain her inner chaos. “After last night, I just…I don’t know, I got to thinking. I kind of made peace with the idea of getting fired. I thought maybe it was for the best, that it was the universe’s way of getting my job out of the way in preparation for…you know.” Here, she glanced down to her stomach and a twinge of pain struck her heart.

“Oh…” Kakashi replied, his eyes skating down her stomach. He scooted nearer and rested his opposite hand at her waistline, rubbing small, gentle circles. Rei placed her hand atop his, almost tempted to ask him to stop. It was too much for her to bear, and yet a part of her wanted to take advantage of the emotional pain for a little while longer. “What do you want to do?” he then asked. “Do you think we should wait until we know?”

Rei shook her head. “No” she said, her voice cracking. “No, there’s no point in waiting…for what I already know.”

“Y-You already know?” Kakashi asked. There was a slight panic in his voice, a hunger for the affirmative.

Finally, Rei gently moved his hand away from her stomach. “I got my period today” she whispered hoarsely.

“Oh…” Kakashi replied, recoiling to give her space. It was clear to her that he was disappointed and she hated how sick and depressed that made her feel—like it was her fault. Not that he was blaming her, but more than anything she blamed herself. He tried to paste a smile on his face as he assured “We can always try again next month. We only just started. I didn’t expect us to get pregnant right away.”

“No, Kakashi” Rei replied. “I think…I think maybe we shouldn’t.”

“Shouldn’t what?” he asked. Anxiety rose into his throat. He already knew the answer.

“I don’t think we should try again” she explained. Her throat burned with the pain of having to spell it out. “Not right now. I think we should just…put the baby thing on the backburner. Just for a little bit.”

Kakashi nodded slowly as he considered her words. He could tell that she was just as disappointed as he was, but he knew her reasoning was sound. After all, she had the final say anyway. She was the one who’s body was at stake. She was the one taking on the pregnancy. It was her decision. After a long stretch of silence, Kakashi finally asked, “Are you okay?”

Rei sniffled as she wiped her nose with the back of her hand, nodding. “Yeah, I’m alright” she said. It was only partially a lie. An airy little laugh broke past her lips as she began shifting her pork around in the container. “You know, I really am happy about the promotion” she started. Her voice cracked and rose in pitch with each sentence. “Honestly, I am. This is what I always wanted, wasn’t it? To prove my worth as a ninja. To rise in the ranks and show everyone wrong. I mean, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I can’t pass this up. I mean, I may never get this chance again. Especially if we have a baby, then my entire career would just fwoosh right out the window, right? I mean, you can’t balance raising a child and risking your life, can you? It’s not fair. We have all the time in the world to have a baby anyway. It just wouldn’t be fair, would it? It’s not fair. It’s not fair at all.” By now, she couldn’t stop herself from crying for the second time that day. She tried to restrain herself, to stay strong so that Kakashi would not see how much this was affecting her, but she couldn’t hold back anymore. Nor would Kakashi want her to.

His heart broke as she pressed her fist to her mouth, dropped her eyes to the floor, gasped for breath. Tears streamed down her reddened cheeks, blurring her vision. Toshio smacked his lips as he rested his head on her lap and whined sympathetically. “Oh, Rei…” Kakashi murmured. In one swift motion, he rushed to her side and wrapped her in his arms. She buried her face in his chest and broke down. Really, this was for the best. Even if it didn’t quite feel like it right now, she knew it was for the best. “I think you’re making the right decision” Kakashi whispered after a few moments.

“Do you?” Rei whimpered, tightening her grasp around Kakashi’s waist.

“Mmhmm, I do” Kakashi replied. A gentle hand stroked her wild hair. He kissed the top of her head. “You’re right: it woudn’t be fair” he agreed. “And besides, no one ever said the right decision was the easiest.”

“Oh god…” Rei cried, shaking her head. “I just wish it didn’t have to be so hard.”

“I know, Rei” Kakashi whispered. “I know.”

#rei natsuki #kakashi hatake #the scarecrow and the bell #naruto #naruto oc #fanfiction

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myaekingheart · 4 years

Text

85. The Not-Date Date

Milk. Eggs. Bread. Vegetables. Kakashi skimmed the list as he strolled up and down the aisles, but he wasn’t really paying attention. Grocery shopping just gave him something to do, a mundane task to occupy his mind. It wasn’t working.

His mental capacity was, quite frankly, nearing intolerable. He found some respite on his most recent mission, but only because it kept him fully engaged. Now that he was back to the daily grind, however, nothing seemed to keep him focused.

A few days after his initial visit, Tenzo returned to inform that things had gone well and that he had a date. It was clear how pleased he was with the results, and Kakashi tried hard not to put a damper on his success. Deep down, however, delving into relationship dynamics only ignited a flame in Kakashi’s mind that he absolutely could not manage to extinguish. He saw her every time he closed his eyes: that fiery hair, mossy eyes, crooked smile, freckled shoulders. His arms ached to embrace her, something raw and hungry bubbling up within his chest. He wanted her. He needed her. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. Rei.

And just like that, in the middle of the juice aisle, it happened. First there came a thud, then the pattering of small particles bouncing against the ground. And then her voice. “Fuck!” His heart leapt into his chest and without a second thought, he slid around the corner to find her standing there with a large bag of dog food spilling onto the ground.

“Are you okay?” he asked, blinking despondently. Much like everything else lately, this didn’t seem real. It didn’t make sense. It was like his mind had fabricated a completely unlikely scenario from pieces of unrelated information plucked from all the mental nooks and crannies.

Huffing, she knelt down and began hopelessly trying to sweep the food back into the sack with her hands. “Do I look okay?” she asked, rather sharply, and for a moment Kakashi thought perhaps she was unaware that it was him standing before her and not a stranger. She did not look up.

Kakashi looked around for a moment before kneeling down and attempting to help her, even if she probably didn’t want it. So much for her independence. “How did this happen, anyway?” he asked.

“How do you think?” she snapped back. “The damn bag’s too fucking heavy. Lost my grip and it went everywhere.”

He couldn’t help but find the whole situation rather comical. The bag, from what he could tell, was almost the same size she was, and it probably weighed twice as much. By the time they got most of the food off the floor, an employee—a young, pimply kid with spaghetti limbs and a potential nasal infection—peered down the aisle with a broom in hand. He idled for a moment when he saw the mess had since been taken care of, then scurried back to his post mildly embarrassed.

Kakashi took it upon himself to lift the sack for her, and she did not protest. She merely reached up on tiptoes to try to tie the bag shut where it had burst open. She shuffled alongside him as he approached the checkout counter and set the bag down. “What are you doing with a big bag of dog food like this, anyway?” he asked. She dug around inside her back pouch for her wallet but was evidently taking too long. The cashier, a snotty woman impatient for god only knew what—it wasn’t like she had anywhere to go—rolled her eyes and began tapping her long, manicured nails against the counter. Her skin was taut and tan like leather and her lips were glossed so that the lights overhead reflected off her frustrated pout. Kakashi rested a hand atop Rei’s as he pulled out his own wallet and handed the woman the appropriate amount of cash.

Dumbfounded, Rei froze for a moment with mouth agape before forcing herself to regroup. “I have a dog now” she replied matter-of-factly, crossing her arms and tilting her chin up. “I have a dog and he needs food.”

“Oh?” Kakashi asked, smirking at her beneath his mask. “Are you sure it’s a dog? Or a bear?” He tapped the large bag of food and chuckled.

Rei grimaced and shook her head. “He’s most definitely a dog” she insisted. “His name is Toshio and he’s very smart, you would be proud.”

The cashier handed Kakashi his receipt and did not wish them a good afternoon. Kakashi lifted the bag up over his shoulder and, as they exited, asked, “Where is this dog, then? I’d like to see him.”

As they stepped out into the sunlight, blinding for this time of day, Rei pointed to a large white blur romping with some children across the street. “Right there” she stated. She whistled sharply and the dog immediately snapped his head up, spotted tongue lopping out of the side of his mouth, then came barreling toward her. She knelt down and let him knock her over, licking her face obsessively with his paws firmly on her shoulders. The interaction was far too sweet, Kakashi couldn’t help but smile.

“Seems like he likes you a lot” he stated. The moment he spoke, Toshio paused and then approached cautiously, sniffing around Kakashi’s feet and at his hands. After a few moments, he pounced into a protective stance and snarled.

“Hey, Toshio! Bad!” Rei scolded, sitting up and thwacking him on the behind. “That’s Kakashi. He’s good! We like him!”

Rather than feel offended, Kakashi couldn’t help but feel amused and perhaps a little relieved. “I bet he makes a good guard dog” he said. He extended a hand for Toshio to sniff, an invitation that he was friendly, but the dog remained skeptical.

“He used to be a ninja hound” Rei replied, tugging Toshio nearer and scratching around his fat, fluffy neck. “That is until his master, uh…well, he was KIA.” Her tone turned somber as she looked upon this beast with a little more softness and sympathy than before. Kakashi swallowed, his heart breaking. As a dog owner himself, the thought of dying on duty and leaving his ninken behind terrified him. The certain trauma this dog endured was validation enough for his skepticism and aggression.

“I’m glad you two found each other” Kakashi then said, his voice soft and perhaps even affectionate. “It makes me happy to know you’re not alone now.” And truly it did. Regardless of whether this dog trusted him, he trusted this dog. Toshio was potentially exactly what she needed—a companion he could be sure would take care of her. He watched her for a moment longer, his heart swelling, before asking rather suddenly, “Are you doing anything today?”

Rei blinked, snapping from her dog-drunk daze, before squinting up at him and shaking her head. From down there, backlit by the sun, he looked almost heavenly. “Not particularly” she replied. “Why?”

“Do you want to go do something together?” he asked. “I can bring the dogs. Toshio can make friends. I think he’d like that.”

Rei considered the offer for a moment, chewing her lower lip, before nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, okay, we can do that” she said. She lifted herself to her feet and rested a hand atop Toshio’s head—he came up to about her hips—before a sudden realization struck her. “Wait a second, didn’t you have groceries? Where’s your stuff?”

Kakashi paused, having completely forgotten about his own shopping in the midst of finding her. He chuckled then and shook his head. “I’ll come back for it” he said, then motioned for her to walk alongside him as he carried the dog food back to her apartment.

Watching Toshio interact with other dogs was quite honestly a heartwarming experience. It had only been a week since Rei adopted him as her own and yet this was the first time he had a chance to spend time with his own kind. For all she knew, it may have even been the first time since the accident. Kakashi summoned all of his ninken, who looked prepared to aide in whatever battle they may have been called for. Their faces relaxed, however, when Kakashi instructed them to instead run around and have a good time, to make friends with Toshio, and overall just relax. Pakkun nodded once in understanding and then he and his pack began introducing themselves one by one in their own special canine way.

As the afternoon progressed, Kakashi and Rei seated themselves on a bench in the park as they watched the dogs romp and run around. Dead leaves cascaded on a light breeze and the sun was warm and bright. The whole of Konoha was bathed in that autumnal glow where everything appears as if on fire and the air somehow always smells like spice. It had been a long while since Rei felt this happy and peaceful. “I’m glad to see they’re getting along so well” she smiled, watching as Toshio spun in circles and chased Bull and Bisuke.

Kakashi nodded, his arm itching to wrap around her shoulders. When he looked at her, he couldn’t help but think that autumn was where she belonged. This was the time of year that she fit snugly into like a puzzle piece. The world in fall just complimented her so well and he could feel his entire body igniting with this genuine, overwhelming sense of adoration for her. Sitting beside her here like this, he felt at home. “Me, too” he replied, voice quiet and perhaps mildly preoccupied.

She glanced at him then and saw in his eyes that certain loving, consuming quality that immediately gave him away. Her heart leapt into her throat at the implications, and she suddenly grew anxious that she had walked right into a trap. Was this a date? Or at least supposed to be? She didn’t know. But what if it was? What would this mean for them? And the greatest question of all: did she even want to fight it? She clenched her fist atop her thigh and tried to calm herself down. To reassure herself that everything was fine. She was with Kakashi. So long as he was with her, everything would be just fine.

He walked her home and as they reached her apartment door, a sense of longing and desperation suddenly overwhelmed her. Perhaps she didn’t want to say goodbye—not yet. Perhaps the tiniest taste of what they could be, of reuniting officially, had left her starving for the whole damn meal. She didn’t want to want it, but maybe now she didn’t actually care. She was tired—she was so, so tired. The past year had slaughtered her mentally, emotionally, even physically. She had cursed herself so many times, spent every moment running from fate, torturing herself time and time again. She looked at him and he looked back at her and she felt in her body that hot reverberation that she knew would make her do something reckless if she didn’t leave right this minute.

“I’m glad we did this” Kakashi said, smiling at her. He kept the same distance between them and yet Rei swore she could feel him creeping nearer. Her lips twitched.

“Yeah” she said quietly, averting her eyes. “I had a really good time.”

“Me too” he said. “In a way, it almost felt like—”

“Yeah” she interrupted. “I know.” She didn’t think she could bear to hear him say it. She was too vulnerable. If she let him finish, she knew she was bound to collapse into his arms and end this hiatus once and for all. She could not afford to make such hasty decisions. She smiled up at him politely for a moment, resting her hand on the doorknob, then bid him a brief goodbye. He said goodbye back and she disappeared, and then it was just him and all eight of his dogs alone in the hallway.

Once inside, Rei hastily locked the door as if Kakashi was prone to walking into unlocked apartments, then turned on her heels and fell face first into bed with an animalistic groan. She needed to get out of here. She needed a shower and isolation. She needed to strip her skin off of her body and jump out the window, colliding with the ground below. What was she going to do? What was she supposed to do? This was all so much. If she closed her eyes and focused on it long enough, she could almost feel Kakashi’s phantom touch on her forearm, steady breath on the back of her neck, soft lips pressed against hers. She writhed in frustration and buried her head beneath her pillows, kicking the blanket off the bed. Everything would be so much easier if I was just numb.

Meanwhile, Toshio lumbered forward and rested his head on the edge of the bed. When Rei turned, his face was mere inches away from her own. He huffed in her face with his hot, stinky breath before scooting nearer so as to lick her like he always did. It was fascinating how somehow he always knew, as if her emotional imbalances were connected with his own sensory capabilities. She had never known the companionship of a dog like this before but it was a welcome relief. While the past was haunting and the future made her nauseous, at least she had this: this present moment. This strange beast by her side, always there for her no matter what. Her and Toshio had not been together for long, but she already could not imagine her life without him. And maybe that was the first step. Maybe accepting him into her life, accepting the way he took care of her, was a sign that she was prepared to let herself be loved again. That she was prepared for companionship and commitment and affection. Her mind filtered through all the memories of that afternoon, of the way she felt standing so close to Kakashi once again, and it was suddenly as if she was standing on the highest diving board at the community pool. She looked down at the depths below, that rising feeling overwhelming her chest as she stood on the verge of making a decision. The thought of making that leap was truly paralyzing. She wasn’t sure she had it in her. Perhaps her only choice was to wait it out for a little while longer until the confidence, or the horror, swayed her one way or the other. To live a life drowning in fear was no way to live at all, but life was also a patchwork of many different moments and she could afford to spare a few more trapped in emotional limbo. Sighing, Rei reached out and tangled her fingers in Toshio’s thick coat. He leapt onto his hind legs, nuzzling her face and lapping at her cheeks in an act of unspoken comfort. Rei smiled, knowing it truly helped.

#kakashi hatake #rei natsuki #the scarecrow and the bell #naruto #naruto oc #fanfiction

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myaekingheart · 4 years

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95. Ghosts

Rei huffed the bangs out of her face as she flung another empty box into the corner of the room. Two weeks in and the new apartment was already starting to look like home. Toshio curled up on the couch and sighed as if he was the one putting in all the physical labor. Glancing at him over her shoulder, Rei shook her head and laughed. "Oh yeah, you poor baby. So overworked!” she cooed jokingly. Toshio shook his head so that his ears slapped against the side of his face. He looked so comfortable. Rei glanced to the clock. She had been at this for at least four hours now. “I mean…I guess I deserve a break…” she said to herself. After a moment of contemplation, she settled onto the couch beside Toshio. “Just a few minutes” she muttered to herself. “I think I’ve earned it.” She adjusted herself, scratching behind Toshio’s ear, and closed her eyes.

Thud.

Rei snapped awake. The room was pitch dark. How long had she slept for? She wasn’t sure. She squinted into the darkness to try and discern a source for the sound but couldn’t place it. Perhaps it was only her imagination. She had probably just been dreaming.

Thud.

There it was again. Now she knew for certain that it wasn’t fake. It couldn’t be. Rei rubbed her tired eyes and felt around the wall for the light switch. Toshio—it would have to be Toshio. That was the only logical explanation. Maybe he was hungry and trying to get into the cabinets. When was the last time she filled his food bowl? Not that it mattered—he was a beast with a fitting appetite, he had probably already eaten everything. Or maybe he was sleepwalking. Did dogs even sleepwalk? She would have to look it up in the morning. She switched the light on and…Toshio was curled up at her feet, as alert and uncertain as she was. Their eyes met and then the sound came a third time: thud. Toshio’s ears perked up and he tilted his head curiously, searching the room.

“K-Kakashi…?” Rei called out. “Is that you?” He had been gone all day and truthfully, she hoped he would’ve been decent enough to wake her upon his return. At the same time, however, he was liable to just let her sleep. Something about not wanting to disturb her, looking so peaceful and content. Ridiculous.

When her calls received no reply, Rei rose to her feet slowly and tiptoed into the kitchen. She whipped open the freezer, wondering if maybe it was just the ice maker at work. She had never had an ice maker in her fridge before so she couldn’t be sure. Granted, now was a terrible time to remember that there was no ice maker. She supposed in the chaos of apartment hunting, she had mixed that detail up with someplace different. Grimacing, she slowly closed the freezer door when yet another thud sounded—this time, seemingly from the other end of the house. She grabbed a kunai off the table just to be safe and crept into the bedroom, fully prepared to attack whatever monster was awaiting her. Toshio followed close behind, teeth bared.

Rei peeked under the bed, peered out the window, crept into the bathroom and ripped the shower curtain back. Nothing. Another thud and she was beginning to grow frustrated. It was definitely not her neighbors, neither upsides nor on either side. The apartment to their left was empty and to their right was an older couple who seemed very docile and kind. She hated to think what kinds of hobbies would cause them to be this loud. She shuddered at the thought. Regardless, the sound seemed not to come from the walls or the ceiling anyway but someplace other. Someplace ethereal and intangible. Rei turned slowly to glare at the closet.

She really didn’t want to fall for the typical cliché but at the same time, there was nowhere else to look. This was her last resort. If it wasn’t from within the closet, then she had no clue where else to check. She was at a loss. She slid the door open slowly and parted the dresses and vests to peer inside. For a moment, she couldn’t help but laugh. She felt like the protagonist of one of her favorite childhood stories, the little girl who found a magical land in the back of a wardrobe. “I swear, if I find a goat man in here, I’m admitting myself to the psych ward” she muttered to herself. She squeezed her way deeper inside, feeling at the wall and reaching up to the shelf above her head. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. And then she heard it: footsteps.

Goosebumps raised upon Rei’s arms as she squeezed her eyes shut tight. She reached her hand out in front of her and hoped she would feel the bristle of evergreens rather than the face of a killer. I can’t believe I’m actually wishing for a fucking fairytale right now, she thought to herself. It was, however, certainly preferable to the alternative. The footsteps grew louder and louder until finally she could hear the steady, muffled breathing of what would certainly be her demise. Rei tightened her grip on her kunai and sucked in a deep breath, preparing for the worst. A hand brushed against her forearm.

Shrieking, Rei whipped around and slashed at her captor. A gasp escaped his lips as he dodged and grabbed her by the shoulders. “Rei, calm down! Stop!” he shouted. The kunai dropped to the floor with a clang. Rei squirmed and whimpered, her heart fully prepared to leap out of her chest. “It’s me! Nothing’s wrong! It’s just me!” Finally, Rei forced herself to open her eyes. Staring back at her was none other than Kakashi. A streak of blood crossed his cheek where his mask had been torn. There was a confused, panicked look in his eyes.

“Oh…oh my god, Kakashi…! I-I’m so sorry!” she gasped, clapping her hands over her mouth. She studied the cut on his face, her eyes shifting to the blade on the floor and back. “I didn’t mean to, I just—I thought—!”

“Rei, calm down” Kakashi murmured, brushing the hair out of her face. “It’s just a scratch, it doesn’t hurt.” His reassurances didn’t completely erase the guilt. He gently guided her out of the closet and sat her down on the edge of the bathtub as he inspected the cut in the mirror. Her shoulders trembled as she tried to bring herself back to center. Toshio scooted nearer and rested his head in her lap. “What were you doing in the closet, anyway?” Kakashi asked. He dabbed the cut clean with a cotton ball, searching the medicine cabinet for bacitracin.

Honestly, she didn’t want to say. In the aftermath of it, she felt small and stupid. It was a gross overreaction. She was a damn ANBU for heaven’s sake, and yet she had acted like a fearful little child. She chewed on her lower lip and replied slowly, “Searching for Narnia…?”

Kakashi chuckled and peered at her over his shoulder. “You didn’t really expect to find it, did you?” he asked. Rei dropped her eyes to the floor, tracing the groutlines with her big toe. “You weren’t looking in the right place if that was your goal” Kakashi continued as he produced a tube of ointment from the cabinet. He squirted some onto his finger and began rubbing it into the wound. “Last I checked, our closet wasn’t made of magic wood.”

Rei blinked. “Wait, what?”

“In the books” Kakashi replied. “The wardrobe was made from the wood of one of the trees in Narnia. That’s why the kids found their way there through it. Not by dumb luck.”

Rei cocked a brow and suppressed a laugh. “Since when do you know Narnia?”

Kakashi began putting away the medical supplies as he explained, “I read them a couple of times when I was younger. It’s been a while, though.”

“I’m impressed” Rei said. “I didn’t know you read books that didn’t involve wild sex.”

Slamming the medicine cabinet shut, Kakashi rolled his eyes playfully at her. “Let’s get back to the real questions: what were you really doing in the closet?” He knelt down in front of her and met her gaze as if she was a child caught breaking the rules on the playground. There was no way she could avoid answering him now. Dammit.

“Okay, well, you see, what had happened was…” she started. For a moment, she hoped she could at least skirt around the subject but the look in Kakashi’s eyes suggested otherwise. She glanced to the scrape on his face and her heart leapt into her throat. “I heard a noise” she finally admitted.

“Uh-huh…” Kakashi said slowly. “You heard a noise, so you tried to kill me.” She couldn’t quite tell if he was joking or genuinely bothered, which only in turn bothered her.

“It’s not like that!” she exclaimed, raising her hands in surrender. “I fell asleep on the couch and then I heard this weird thudding sound, and at first I thought it was Toshio but turns out he was next to me the entire time.” Here, Toshio lifted his head up and barked to affirm her statement. “I checked around the house to try and figure out where it was coming from but it was no use. And then I started thinking…I don’t know, that maybe there was an intruder or something…?”

“So you checked the closet?” he asked. Rei nodded meekly. Kakashi stood up then and skirted out of the bathroom, peering into the closet just outside and then sighing. When he emerged, he was holding up a hanger displaying a low-cut floral dress. “The only crime anyone is committing here is not wearing this more often” he replied. Unamused, Rei narrowed her eyes and launched a wad of toilet paper at him. He dodged it expertly and laughed. “You’re just being paranoid” he said. He tossed the dress to the wayside and took her hands in his. “Give it some time. We’re in a new place, everything is different. I don’t expect you to have adjusted immediately” he assured her. As she stood up, he placed a hand on the small of her back and guided her toward the bed. “But we’re in a safe neighborhood with friendly neighbors. You and I are certainly capable of handling an intruder should there ever be one” he smiled, lightly poking the tattoo on her shoulder. Rei climbed into bed and Kakashi tucked her in like a child. “Besides” he then added, “if I’m not here, you always have Toshio.” The dog barked and wagged his tail in response, jumping onto the bed to lick Rei’s face affectionately.

Laughing, she gently nudged Toshio out of the way and readjusted herself. Kakashi slipped his shirt off, revealing his toned chest and muscular arms, before crawling into bed himself. “I know” Rei sighed, “I guess I just got too in my head about things.”

“I wish you didn’t” Kakashi replied. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek. “There’s really no reason to be afraid. The threat level is low. You’ll more likely be stuck with ghosts than an actual intruder.”

She knew he meant this as a joke but the longer she thought about it, the more panicked she became. What if their apartment was, in fact, haunted? She didn’t consider herself particularly superstitious but it was late and she was still recovering from her adrenaline high. She laughed nervously at his comment and buried her face even deeper into her pillow, trying her hardest to suppress her growing paranoia.

Of course she couldn’t hide anything from Kakashi, however. He glanced at her over his shoulder as he reached to turn out the light, asking “What?” though a part of him already knew. “You don’t really think our apartment is haunted, do you?”

“No…” Rei lied.

Kakashi chuckled and squeezed her shoulder. “It was just a joke” he said. “There’s no such thing as ghosts. Everything is fine. I promise.” And with that, he flicked the switch and they were emerged in total darkness. The mattress rocked slightly as he shifted into a comfortable position. Meanwhile, she squeezed her eyes shut tight and prayed for a fast descent into sleep. She didn’t want to think about this anymore. Come morning, she was sure everything would be fine again.

Five minutes passed in silence, and then suddenly—

“OooooOOoooohhhhHHHhh!!”

Rei’s eyes popped open wide, whipping around to face Kakashi. Though dark, thanks to the moonlight she could see his fingers wiggling as he mimicked ghost sounds. He thinks he’s so fucking funny, she thought to herself. Sitting up, she lopped him on the face with her pillow. “Shut up, Kakashi!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” he said through uproarious laughter. He scooted nearer and wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling her neck affectionately. “I just had to get it out of my system. You know, you’re pretty cute when you’re flustered.” She rolled her eyes, hating how she couldn’t even stay mad at him.

“Be lucky I love you” she muttered as she settled in and tried to sleep.

He kissed her cheek and whispered back, “I always am.”

Try as she might, Rei could not manage to get a decent night’s sleep. Every creak of the house had her wide awake and panicked. She turned from one side to the other, adjusting her pillow and brushing the hair out of her face. By the fifth interruption, Kakashi had his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. She was completely immobilized. There was no other option but to huff in defeat and stare up at the ceiling in hopes that sleep would find her soon.

By morning, mouth dry and eyes crusted shut, Rei awoke to a strange scratching sound on the other side of the door. She groaned and reached over to slap Kakashi’s shoulder but he was gone. What time is it? she thought to herself. She forced her eyes open to check the time. 11:45am. He must have left for work hours ago. Rei pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes and forced herself upright, then approached the door slowly. Toshio lifted his head up and watched cautiously from the bed. When Rei whipped the door open, she found nothing.

The strange happenings continued throughout the day. The stove started beeping as she rooted through the fridge for breakfast, the bathroom light switched on by itself as she read by the bedroom window, and when she took her shower, Kakashi’s electric razor began buzzing on its own accord. By late afternoon, she was already exhausted from spending countless hours on edge. She collapsed onto the couch with a bowl of rice despite not really being hungry to begin with. Toshio eyed her from the doorway.

“I know, buddy” Rei said. “I’m bothered, too.” The longer she watched him, though, the more she realized his gaze was fixed elsewhere. She peered behind her but there was nothing but the wall. Turning back, she cocked her brow and studied his face: unblinking eyes and awkwardly closed mouth. “Toshio…” she said slowly, inching her way off the couch. Her heart began pounding as she feared the possibility of phantoms, something sinister preparing to attack from behind. And then, halfway toward him, Toshio extended his head out and burped mildly. Frowning, Rei leaned back and shook her head. “If you were just gassy, you should’ve said something. Over here freaking me the fuck out, jeez.” She shook her head and shoved a large bite of rice into her mouth. I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.

The following day, Mikazuki eyed Rei cautiously from within the ANBU locker rooms. Perhaps it was just the drab lightning but there was a ghostly pallor to her face and a sunken element to her features. Rei swung her locker door open and rested her head inside with an echoed groan. “A-are you okay…?” Mikazuki stammered. She shuffled slightly nearer, clasping her hands to her chest.

“Very, very no” Rei mumbled. After a few minutes, she lifted her head up and slammed her locker shut. “I just haven’t been sleeping that great lately.”

“Is there something wrong with the new apartment?” she asked.

How did she know? Rei thought to herself. She glanced at MIkazuki’s third eye peeking through her wispy bangs, a reminder of her abilities. “I mean, the place is great, don’t get me wrong. I just…this is going to sound fucking crazy but I think it’s haunted.”

“I don’t think that sounds crazy” MIkazuki replied. Rei wasn’t sure if she should feel comforted or concerned. She sunk down onto one of the rickety wooden benches separating aisles of locker units and raked her fingers through her hair. Mikazuki took the seat beside her and explained, “One of the things I’ve learned about having the ability that I do is that people don’t just disappear when they die. Their chakra stays behind, in a way, though not really in the same sense of the chakra in our bodies. It’s more dormant, you can’t really sense it unless you’re incredibly sensitive.”

Rei nodded slowly, absorbing the information. “Wait” she then said, “Are you telling me you see dead people or some shit?”

A bubbly giggle—the kind of laugh Rei did not quite expect—escaped Mikazuki’s lips as she shook her head. “No, no!” she insisted. “It’s not like that at all. I can just feel the energy that someone has left behind.”

“So like a spirit medium then” Rei concluded.

“Yeah, something like that” Mikazuki replied. Rei couldn’t help but laugh. She had remembered seeing mediums at festivals throughout the village every so often, the kind hiding out in tents advertising Ouija boards and trances. She had always considered them hoaxes but with Mikazuki, she trusted that what she said was true. And then a horrible idea popped into her head.

“Is there a way to, I don’t know…exorcise that kind of stuff?” Rei asked. “You know, just…shoo it out of a place?”

All three of her eyes blinked as she tried to come to terms with what Rei was inquiring. “Are you asking me to cleanse your home…?” she asked slowly.

“Can you do that sort of stuff?” Rei replied.

Mikazuki’s face remained blank for a moment and Rei immediately feared that she had offended her. She knew only a little about Mikazuki’s interests in matters of the occult but insinuating what she could and could not do was perhaps stepping over a line. And then the widest grin possible slowly spread across her face and her peridot eyes sparkled. “I would love to!” she exclaimed, abruptly pulling Rei into a friendly hug. Rei sighed in relief but deep down was fighting back laughter. She had never seen her comrade quite so excited before and it warmed her heart thoroughly.

The next afternoon, Mikazuki arrived carting three heavy baskets of supplies. She appeared flustered from the commute but altogether excited. Rei ushered her inside and she set her things on the living room floor.

“So what comes first?” Rei asked. She watched as Mikazuki began unpacking a wide array of supplies: Ouija board, crystals, herbs, candles, and of course her trusty tarot cards. It all seemed so quaint and ritualistic. Rei especially appreciated the way the crystals glinted in the sunlight; she wondered what power they held.

“I’ll have to make an assessment, but in the meantime do you have any matches?” she asked. Rei nodded once and retrieved a book of matches from the kitchen drawer. Mikazuki gently extracted one and lit a bundle of sage. The unfamiliar smell took Rei by surprise, spluttering into the crook of her elbow as she watched Mikazuki float around the room. She moved with such purpose and grace, it was clear she had done this many times before. In a way, it almost reminded Rei of a dance. The smoke circled around her effortlessly, enveloping her in a lazy swirl. A small smile touched her lips as she finished and knelt down beside her wares again.

Rei crouched beside her and began inspecting the other objects she brought along. “What do you think?” she asked. “How bad is it?”

Mikazuki sucked in a deep breath as she began reorganizing her crystals on the floor by color. “I don’t know how to tell you this…” she started and Rei swallowed hard. She knew it had to be bad. She just hoped it was reparable. The last thing she needed was to move again. Before she could finish her sentence, however, Toshio leapt up and began barking at seemingly nothing in particular. He zipped around the living room as if on hyperdrive, his spotted tongue wagging out of the side of his mouth as he ran.

Panicked, Rei looked to Mikazuki for an explanation. “Do dogs have some sort of sensory perception to this kind of stuff, too?” she asked. And then, as quickly as she spoke it, she heard the door creak open and she instinctively gripped Mikazuki’s arm. They had angered it—that was exactly what it was. They tried to evict it and now it was coming for them. Footsteps grew louder as an entity approached and Rei, though a little unsure of how a ghost had feet in the first place, resigned to her fate.

“What is going on here?” a voice then asked. She recognized it immediately. Kakashi.

Rei snapped up with a yelp, searching his masked face for any sign that he was perhaps some sort of illusion. Could ghosts use genjutsu? She wasn’t sure. She waved her hand in front of him, poked at his forearm, leaned up on tiptoes to tug at his mask. It was then that he grimaced at her and she knew he was real. Her cheeks burned bright red. “You see, the thing is…” she started, laughing nervously. “Well, um…some really weird shit was happening and it was freaking me out so I asked Mikazuki if she wanted to, you know…help me get rid of a ghost?”

Kakashi blinked before his shoulders dropped and he shook his head. “Rei…” he sighed. “I thought I told you it was just a joke. You really have nothing to worry about.” He rubbed her arm and brushed the bangs out of her face, but rather than feel reassured and comforted, she just felt invalidated.

“How do you know that, though?” she asked, inching away from him. “If there isn’t a ghost, then how do you explain all the weird shit that’s been happening around here, huh? Why can’t you just respect that I’m panicked about this, Kakashi?”

Mikazuki tilted her head back to view the both of them, interrupting with a soft-spoken, “Actually…” Her voice quivered slightly—being in the presence of an argument always made her apprehensive, and she didn’t want to intrude, but this was also important. Rei and Kakashi looked down upon her expectantly. “Actually, after my assessment, um…there isn’t a ghost at all.”

Rei stared back at her blankly, trying to comprehend what she just said. She heard it, of course, but it didn’t totally register. There was no way.

“See?” Kakashi smiled. “I told you there was nothing to worry about.”

Rei ignored his comment and approached Mikazuki, growing frantic. “What do you mean there isn’t a ghost? There has to be a ghost. There’s just..there’s no other explanation.”

Pursing her lips, Mikazuki twiddled her thumbs in her lap and replied quietly, “Well, the thing is…there’s no residual chakra here. A-and the place is nearly brand new, too, s-so I doubt anyone has even had time to die here first…which, you know, is kind of required...for a ghost.”

Of course. As far as Rei knew, these apartments were built roughly five years ago. They were truly in great condition, but that only puzzled her further. If there really no ghost, but the place wasn’t a dump, then how did one explain all the strange little incidents?

It was clear to both Kakashi and Mikazuki that this lack of resolution was sending Rei spiralling. Toshio crept nearer and nuzzled her hand, began licking her fingers in comfort. Kakashi desperately wished he had an answer for the strange things she was seeing and hearing, even if he had never experienced any of them himself. And that was the next point of contention: they never seemed to happen when he was home. If they were so random, then why did they always stop when he was present? The longer he thought about it, the more he felt the pieces come together in his mind.

Rei sank down onto the floor and buried her face in her hands. “None of this makes any sense!” she exclaimed. “I feel like I’m going crazy, why can’t I just get a simple answer as to what the hell is going on?”

Mikazuki reached out and placed a gentle, comforting hand on Rei’s shoulder. “I think I know what might be the issue” she murmured. Rei looked up at her desperate for an explanation. Mikazuki cleared her throat nervously before continuing. “I think maybe you’re just hyper alert because you’re in a new environment, and you don’t know how to cope. You lived in the ANBU housing for ten years and you were really comfortable there, but now you’re in someplace completely different a-and, I don’t know…I think it’s only natural to feel anxious.”

Kakashi nodded, her words perfectly aligning with what he was beginning to think himself. He approached the windowsill and picked up one of Rei’s chakra plants. “It’s like if you were to uproot this flower and put it someplace else. Even if you’re moving it for a good reason, the rapid change is a shock to its system. It’ll take some time to adjust.”

Rei searched both of their faces in hopes of finding something she wasn’t quite sure of—maybe an indication that they were still within the same realm of understanding as she was. Unfortunately, that seemed less likely to be the case. She felt alienated, other. A fish in an aquarium stared upon by passerby who could never understand what it was like. “That doesn’t explain the weird shit that’s been happening, though…” she said quietly, descending into defeat.

“Do you think maybe you were just hallucinating?” Kakashi asked. He had to tiptoe around this delicately so as not to upset her further. He knew an insinuation of mental instability would only send her even deeper into this pit. The minute the question broke past his lips, she whipped around to face him with a frantic, horrified gaze. “I just mean because every time this has happened, you’ve been home alone” he explained. “What if your anxiety is just getting the best of you and making you think that you’re in danger when you’re really not?”

A few moments passed as Rei considered the idea. She supposed it wasn’t totally outlandish, even if she didn’t really want to entertain the possibility. It was true that they were in a safe neighborhood, that the likelihood of something bad happening was rather slim. And yet when he was away, she felt her anxiety rev up. She supposed she had grown rather dependent on his protection, even if she had always told herself she didn’t need anyone’s help. With him, she just felt so safe. That if anything were to happen, he would ensure she would be okay. She wished she had that much trust in her own abilities. Toshio was a fine companion, as well, who she knew would always protect her, but it wasn’t quite the same. Kakashi had been doing this for thirty years. He was in love with her, and she with him.

“If that’s the case, though…” Rei whispered, “Then how can I possibly feel safe and comfortable? I don’t know how…” Kakashi crouched beside her and pulled her close. His heart ached to see her so distraught. She was truly so much more capable than she gave herself credit for—she was part of the ANBU for heaven’s sake. There was no reason for her to be so anxious and yet he refused to discount her pain.

Mikazuki furrowed her brows in thought for a moment before turning to her supplies. She shuffled through the crystals at her disposal before picking a smooth, black piece. “Here” she said, holding it out to Rei. “I think this might help.”

Rei took it cautiously as if at any moment it was bound to explode, turning it over in her hands and studying its organic shape and unforgiving color. “What is it?” she asked.

“Black jasper” Mikazuki explained. “My favorite. It’s supposed to have great calming properties especially for anger and anxiety. If you hold onto it, I don’t know…maybe it’ll give you strength.”

Rei had to admit, she was not very well-versed in stones and crystals and their healing properties. Plants were obviously her niche. She knew which flowers represented what feelings and emotions, which ones were good for anxiety and which ones helped you feel energized. The fact that stones were somewhat similar was fascinating, and she appreciated Mikazuki’s knowledge on the subject. She ran her fingertips over the smooth edge, feeling comforted by it already, and thanked her softly.

Rei set the stone on her nightstand that night before bed, hoping its presence would be enough to help her sleep. She curled up beside Kakashi and pondered the existence of ghosts as a whole. She had always believed that we all left something behind when we died. She had felt it in Kakashi’s anger after Sakumo’s death, in his seconhand eye after losing Obito, in the way her chest twisted and contorted at the thought of Rin’s death. And then of course there was Naru. She felt her death loom over her still, a constant ache rooted in self blame. Perhaps that was really all ghosts were, though: the lingering aftermath of losing someone you love. And in this case, it was not a person but an era. The grieving of a time in which she had a place all her own, in which she was fighting to prove her worth and falling fast for a man she had loved for as long as she could remember. Rei couldn’t say she necessarily missed those days, aimless in her pursuit of self discovery. But it was clear to her now that those days were gone and she would never get them back. Time marched forward and sometimes it forced precious memories to the wayside, making room for something better. Rei snuggled close to Kakashi and tried to make peace with the thoughts in her head. There was nothing wrong with moving forward, after all. She just needed to accept the consequential ghosts that came with the change.

#kakashi hatake #rei natsuki #the scarecrow and the bell #naruto #naruto oc #fanfiction

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