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#anyway i need to kiss a pretty girl's tum and also eat her out or i might shrivel up and die
littlemousejelly · 10 months
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checked myself out naked in front of a bathroom mirror the size of a fucking wall and i'm ngl i'm like. legitimately hot. it's a shame i'm not strapping a pretty girl into the mattress 😔
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tellywoodtrash · 3 years
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immj2 28+29.12.20 lbs
ok we just gonna skimmmmmmmmmmmmm through these eps real quick, coz i wanna get back to reading my Bridgerton books.
28.12.20
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i ship this so much, it fuckin hurtsssssss. GIVE ME THE KILLING EVE-ESQUE SAPPHIC ROMANCE I WANT, TELLYWOOD, STOP BEING SUCH FUCKING COWARDSSSSSSSSSSSSS
aaaaaaand she’s disappeared.
................... coz angre got his hands on her. angre i swear to god if you don’t unhand her and go back to just simping for your wife...........
lmao she bit him and ran away.
................ straightttttttttt into vansh’s arms.
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oh shit. i ship this too????? fuck, this show is just too chock-full with ridiculously good looking people and i need them all to kiss each other’s necks.
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ok, maybe not. BAAT BAAT PE YEH MANHOOS CHAAKU KYUN NIKAAL LETA HAI?!!?!? HAVE YOU NOT HEARD THAT THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE POCKET-CHAKKU?!!?!?
anyway, ahaana’s got a brain and just started screaming her head offfff for riddhima. which is what a normal person (read, anyone NOT RIDDHIMA) would do.
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hein who this curly haired girl????
anyway, ahaana like i gots a secrettttt to tellll you. ABOUT VANSHHHHHHHH.
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kabir a messyass bitch like me and is like ooooooooooooh ab aayega mazzaaaa.
iss sab ke beech ishani like heyyyy, this is my dress!!!!!! SIS, NO ONE CARES, WE ABOUT TO GET SOME HELLA GOOD GOSSIP. JESUS. PRIORITIES!!!
ahaana like someone wants to killllllllllllllllllll meeeeeeeeeeeeeee, and riddhima is like huh what who why they wanna kill you???? and sis, i think you know from living in this murder-house that ppl don’t particularly need a reason as such to wanna kill you. they just like homicide as a hobby.
vansh like I SHALLLLLLLLLLL PROTECT YOUUUUUUUUUU, YOU SHALL LIVE HERE. sir, i’m pretty sure it’s YOU that she’s talking about that wants to kill her.
riddhima like uhhhhhhhhh??? the fuck is going on? why you promising security to this chick who wanted to phodofy your bhaanda????
SOMEONE TELL ME WHO THAT CURLY HAIR GIRL IS, HAVE I FORGOTTEN A WHOLEASS CHARACTER OF THIS SHOW COZ I DIDN’T WATCH FOR 2 DAYS???????
anyway riddhima like WHOOOOOOOO IS SHEEEEE, YOU KNOW EACH OTHER FROM BEFORE????????? like damn, your psycho murderous ex is living in this house thanks to you, and vansh can’t even know a woman that’s not you????/
ahaana going on and on about this stupid SECRET and omg just spit it out or gtfo. i have 8 books of regency era sexy shenanigans to read, and i’m wasting time here on this nonsense.
ok. she saved his life. and did “seva” it seems. lmao the mental image i have.
“vansh, apna vaada yaad hai na? ki tum mera karz chukaaoge; keemat ya shakl jo bhi ho.” oh???????? big promise from vansh, if true.
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vansh beginning to regret making such lofty vows.
(also mmmmmmm, what else dat pouty mouth do, baby???)
dadi has taken over and is like you saved my vansh‘s lifeeeeeeee, i shall make sure vansh keeps his promise, blah blah. lord WHAT IS THE POINT OF ALLLLLLL THISSSSSS?!?!?
riddhima like, why did you call me if you wanted to get in touch with him? why not just call him directly????
shaaaaaady reactions from vansh/ahaana at that. lightttttt goes out.
comes back on, and angre like fuck all this, let’s celebrate the new yearrrrrrrr. not sus at all. y’all are alllllllllllllll so fucking shady man. god, ahaana, just bust my girl ridz outta here and go to alaska and eat spaghetti together. iykyk.
and they all just started ballroom dancing as if they’re in beauty and the beast. attention span of a fucking gnat these ppl have. ek baat pe dhyaan nahi tiktiiii.
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i’m here for this also. i just want all the sexy ppl to be with each other. idc who is with whom. just put any two of them together and i’m happy.
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these two throwing some chabayaa hua dhamkis at each other. I DON’T CAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE UNLESS YOU SPILLING SPECIFIC DEEEEEEEEEEETS.
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iske dimaag ke ghode kentucky derby mein daudne lage hain.
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and hubs fullllllllllllly knows. he wanted exactly that.
she tries to ask questions and as usual, he shuts her down with ainvayi ki philosophy. MAN WHAT WILL IT FUCKING TAKE FOR YOU TO ANSWER A QUESTION STRAIGHT?????
big talk about pyaaaar and vishwaaaas and bro, i fully know what you’re doing here, you fucking bastard. bloody gaslighting her into ignoring her own instincts in the name of trusting you. like yes, she’s like extraaaa with the jasoosi, but she’s asking RELEVANT, PERTINENT QUESTIONS.
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meanwhile this rakshason ki toli has got their hands on the “yes okay i’m a spy!!!!!!!!!!!!!” recording that siya had. great. wonderful. best.
they decide to wait for right moment to use it and show vansh. oh you fucking dumbasses................... he already knows. this is the problem; no one bothers to fucking communicate in this family. 
kabir trying to get the goss outta ahaana, but vansh ne mundi se ishaara kiya and angre just threw a drink on K, so he had to leave to go change.
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i like her.
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lol she called him a loser. never has a character been more right about all the men of this stupid show.
ahaana staring at vansh in a real strange way. oh bro, kya kaand kiya tha iske saath????? sach sach bolllllllllll.
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these two seem have slid into each other’s inboxes already???? oh yeaaaaaaaaah.
ishani has come back with one V for Vendetta mask and is smirking some more about how riddhima is going down. *sigh* same old, same old. 
more ainvayi ka dancing. man, what a waste of a filler episode.
at the dinner table, riddhima finds a chit saying your life is in danger, come meet me out in the backyard. ishani and aryan and chachi making real weird faces. did they send the note or did ahaana???? either way, this not gonna end well for riddhima. as per always.
it’s got to the point where EVEN riddhima is calling out the plotholes in the damn show out loud; saying ahaana said HER life was in danger, now how the fuck is this all about MY life being in danger???
anyway the dumbass goes to investigate.
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she got shoved into a car by V for Vendetta (that’s what they should call the show.) which is now filling up with smoke. wonderful.
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29.12.20
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she’s so fucking stupid. there’s no way the car doors can be locked from the outside in such a way that they cannot be opened from the inside. peeche ke doors pe child-lock hain bhi, toh she can just climb to the front and open the front doors and jump out. honestly riddhima.
ishani trying to distract vansh from going to look for riddhima with chocolate cake.
vansh is me. cake pakda diya toh duniya ki koi parwaah nahi. it just meeeeeeeeeee and my cake, made for each other, truuueeeeeee loveee.
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ALSO LMAO WHY DOES THIS DUDE EAT CAKE LIKE THIS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
riddhima still choking and struggling like a dumbass.
cake done, vansh off to look for his wife. gotta say, he’s got his priorities straight.
ishani making shady faces with Guy Fawkes mask. godddddd. who cares who cares who caresssss?
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after 19023019283092130912390 moments of suspense, he finally found her and broke her outta the car.
some loving scolding for wandering off without telling him. dude’s she’s a grownass woman, not a toddler/pet.
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anyway she told him someone shoved her in the car and he’s clenching his jaw most magnificently mmmmmmm that jawwww.
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ab yeh kaunsi nayi musibat hai???
he’s promising to find and punish whoever and she’s thinking omg it kabir?!?!?!!!!!!!! as if noooooone else in the house wants to murder her.
she’s like you saved me again!!!!!!!! and he’s literally like stop playing khatron ke khiladi up in here every day and i won’t have to, bitch.
ishani literalllllly flaunting that mask on her arm and riddhima like OUFF YEH KHOOONI NANAD BAAZ NAHI AATI.
side mein dekha toh kabir also has one like that.
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lmao everyyyyyyone has one of these masks.
R like i need to gtfo here from the presence of all these assholes, k byeeeeee.
she’s confronting ahaana ki why you call me outside and not show up yourself????
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ahaana like, bitch tf you talking about? i didn’t call you or send any chit??!?!! get used to it ahaana, iss ghar mein rahogi toh yeh hourly occurance hai, aisa random chutiyaapa. tumhein toh aadat hogi hi, pichle janam mein oberois ke saath jo rahi ho.
riddhima bringing up vansh and ahaana like YOUR MAN SHADYYYYY AF. YOU SHOULDN’T TRUST HIM SO MUCH. iss ek line se hi i have gotten it ki ahaana has been planted by vansh and he’s trying to see if riddhima falls for anyone else’s hearsay again.
riddhima is giving speech about how much she trusts vansh and they’re each others’ parchhaai or some such shit, and lmaoooooooooooooo ahaana’s face......
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same, sis. absolutely saaaame.
ahaana like “zindagi mein har bimaari ki dawaai hai, par galatfehmi ki nahi.” snortttttttt.
ahaana going heavy on “vansh don’t love you, he wants to killll your ass” speech and ouff....... ofc riddhima won’t listen. dumbass.
there is not ONE wrong thing ahaana is saying about vansh. not ONE. literally all of it is true. i mean, maybe he does “love” her or whatever, but kya hi karein aise bekaar roz roz life ruin karne waale pyaar ka? isse achcha toh naa hi kare pyaar.
aaaaaaaaand she got slapped for truth-telling. fuck. riddhima, you are such a fucking dumbass. where all this slappiness for your damn husband who was lying to your face for monthssssss, huh????
ugh mera pati mera ishq bhashaan. this chick deserves to be murdered. blindass.................. she’s doing the exact same shit she did with kabir, total blindddddd faith without listening to any reason. she deserves to be fucked over if she refused to learn anything from that kaand and won’t use her fucking brain even now.
honestly this sanctimonious speech she’s giving ahaana........
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but for once she’s using her MAALKIN OF THE HOUSE rutba and telling to ahaana to gtfo the house.
lmao ahaana like tell vansh to throw me out, and i’ll go.
cut to......... riddhima is randomly staring at a ladder. as one does.
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helllllllllllllllllllllllo. 😏😏😏
riddhima trying to tell vansh ki ahaana is off her rocker and....
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well okay then! no more talking about ahaana! 🥰🥰🥰
great. all that was buttering up for the trust test he has set up for her.
climb the ladder, it seems. oh boy. i know what’s coming............
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lmaooooo she climbs it and is like ok now you know that i trust you??? can i come back down now??? LOL DUMBASS HOW DID YOU NOT GUESS WHAT HE WANTED FROM THE MOMENT HE TOLD YOU TO CLIMB???????? dimaag ghutno mein hai iss ladki ki.
he’s telling her to jump. ofc. fucking asshole. tereko shauk hai random high places se chhalaang maarne ko toh you’ll make everyone do it or what?
HE’S ACTUALLY GETTING MAD AT HER HESITATION AND ALL I’LL CATCH YOU, DO YOU NOT TRUST ME?????? main hoti toh kehti ki bro, it’s not you that i don’t trust, i just know gravity as a force is more powerful than you are.
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stupid stupiddddd bitch. she’s doing it also. DUDE, THIS IS A CLASSIC ABUSIVE TECHNIQUE, WHY DON’T YOU KNOW ANYTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG RIDDHIMAAAAA?!!?!?!? LIKE........................ THIS IS WHY PEOPLE SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO GET MARRIED BEFORE THE AGE OF 30. THEIR BRAINS ARE JUST NOT GROWN ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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how self satisfied she looks. fucking dumbass.
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while his face is like ‘i can’t believe the twit actually did it.’
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some more talk about how she trusts him mosttttttttttttttttttttttttt in the world, while he gets horny for it. god, what a pair of boring dysfunctional fucks. i liked it better when he was vihaan and had a bondage kink.
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bharosa talk bharosa talk and oh my god it’s sooooooo fucking obvious he’s planted ahaana to test her and her trust. aaj yeh toh bas level 1 tha. the chutiyaapa just gonna go up from here.
she’s like i don’t like ahaana, why does she have to stay here? he’s turning it back on her and saying if we trust each other, what does it matter if she stays here or says whatever????? which ....... is just some reallyyyyyyyyyyyyy manipulative BS.
he’s saying she has some “issues” that he’ll handle. oh lord. ahaana in danger of getting murdered by this fucker too.
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riddhima giving some more vaasta of her neverending trust.........
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while this asshole makes these very TRUSTWORTHY faces.
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aaaaaaaaaaaaand someone watches them. as per usual. no wonder vansh made sure to go far far far far away from this house to get some nookie. idhar karte toh it would be like those olden days royal weddings, where the whole court would come and sit and watch the marriage being consummated.
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cryinggameff · 6 years
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Sixty-nine
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Randi
Cayden and his friends were drinking and doing god knows what else while watching the game. I had agreed to let him host the party here, which i was kind of regretting because they were loud as hell and it made it hard to take my mid day naps. I had left for a bit to go and pick up some groceries so i could make some food for them to eat plus some snacks and such and now i was back home. I walked past going to put the stuff in the kitchen.
“Baby, you back?” Cayden said, getting up and coming to the kitchen.
“Yeah, just went to target,” I said, taking stuff out of the bag.
“How’s my baby?” He put his arms around me to grab my belly.
“Active. He’s been jumping around all day,” I sighed. He moved his hand around.
“That’s because he’s a little baller. Or maybe a gymnast if it’s a girl.”
“Mmhm,” i said, putting my hand over his. Somebody scored and the guys got all excited. We both looked over. I started taking stuff out the bags. Cayden removed his hands and started going back to the living area. I glanced at him and saw his jaw was locked and arms flexed. I was confused. He walked up to Rambo and smacked him on the back of the head.
“Damn man!” Rambo jumped. He turned around and Cayden grabbed the blunt that he must have just lit out of his mouth.
“I told your slow ass not to be smoking in my house when my wife is pregnant. Are you dumb?  That’s my kid you fucking with bruh,”
“My bad Cayden, I forgot,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry man,” he said. Everyone else looked to see what Cayden was gonna do. I already knew what he was planning to do and considering he was China’s man and what not i couldn’t have them falling out or that would make things awkward for all of us. I put the milk I was holding down. I reluctantly intervened.
“It’s ok baby,” i said to him from the kitchen. He looked up at me and I gave him a look to calm down and of course he listened and backed down. He just put the blunt out and came to throw it out in the kitchen. He came up behind me and wrapped an arm around me again.
“Sorry,” He said by my ear just so I could hear.
“It’s ok,” I said, leaning up to kiss him. I wasn’t mad, after all he was right, it was bad for the baby. Cayden had stopped smoking, around the house anyways, all together. It was cute how concerned he was about the baby. He kissed my shoulder and I giggled.
“She’s already pregnant dog, give it a break,” ty said as he came strolling in to the kitchen to open the fridge. I blushed but laughed.
“Hey! I just got those,” I complained. But nobody was listening. He was long gone and they had broken into a play fight, crashing on to the floor and rolling around like children. “You’re 26 years old,” I grumbled, picking my rolls off the floor.
I made some stuff for the guys and then took my food upstairs to eat and watch some shows.
I ended up falling asleep after eating, but woke up a few hours later with terrible heart burn. That was happening a lot now. I would take it over being nauseous 24/7 like in the beginning, but it was still very uncomfortable. I went downstairs to go find some tums and realised Cayden and his friends were gone. I looked at my phone real quick and Cayden had texted me saying he was gonna go in to work. I got some tums and some milk and went back to the bedroom. I decided to give Cole a call because i hadn't talked to him in a while.
"Hi Colebear,"
"Hey lil mama. How you doing?" he asked.
"Im ok, just tired and sick all the time," i complained.
"That sounds horrible," he said. "How much longer you got anyways? Tryna make sure im there when the baby gets here."
"Still have like 4 months. Im ready for it to be over, and i just wanna hold my baby already." I groaned in frustration.
"When we gon find out if its a boy or girl? How am i supposed to buy them some swag if i dont know?"
"I was supposed to find out a while ago but i kept missing my appointments. Im going in a few days, should find out then."
"Word? aight keep me posted."
"I will," i said, "so whats up with you and Ty. He came to my house a week ago and from what he said yall had some drama when he visited." I was being nosy as usual.
"Aint no drama," he mumbled.
"What did you do?" i asked in an accusing tone. He sighed.
"I may have iced him out a little."
"Why?" i asked, confused.
"Things were getting...intense."
"Thats how a relationship works Cole," i pointed out.
"I know," he said simply. I smiled a little bit.
"I get it. I was the same way when Cayden and i started getting serious. It terrified me. It's scary to love someone."
"So what did you do?" He asked.
"Well Cayden didn't really give me an option to run. He followed me every time, " i laughed. "Eventually i just got tired of trying to run away and i just dove in. Now i'm married to the fool and carrying his baby."
"Diving in sounds terrifying."
"It is," i bit my lip, thinking back to when Cayden and i were still dating. "But its worth it."
"Ugh. I cant with this sappy shit right now. Im bout to go to practice and i dont need to be in my feelings while tackling a bunch of dudes."
"Okay fine, ill drop it for now. But you need to just accept you love him and move on. Don't overthink it," i said seriously.
"okay mom."
"Oh God, can you imagine someone is gonna be calling me that soon," i said, more to myself.
"I can see you as a mom. You always taking care of people or helping them fix their lives, even when they didnt ask," he laughed.
"What can i say, i dont know how to mind my business," i shrugged.
"Lowkey im the same," he said. "But i gotta go."
"Okay babe, have a good practice. Ill talk to you later." He said bye and then i hung up.
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Cayden
"Yo, How's the shipment going?" I asked him, referring to a deal i had going with Sean. He was organising the order while i handled the logistics and such.
"Man i don't think we have enough here. We gotta bring some from the other warehouse. I was gonna call Pat but i wanted to run it by you," he got up and i followed him out to the balcony looking down to the rest of the warehouse. It was busy with niggas at work like usual, organised by product.
"What he want?" i asked.
"Coke mostly, but he talking about he got some guy wants a bunch of crystal. We got 10, 20 pound max here," he said, nodding at the back of the room where the guys were breaking and weighing a fresh batch.
"Who the fuck wants to buy that much crystal?" My brows came together.
"Man who knows, thats your boy, ask him. Im just saying, thats pretty much all our supply from both warehouses, and we have one cook" he said. I nodded because he was right, but that wasn't my biggest concern. It was just weird to me that Sean was suddenly moving crystal when he had never before. I couldn't help think back to the time Randi asked if Sean could be trusted and wondered if she was on to something.
"Dont call Pat. Not yet anyways. Imma have a little meeting with Sean first," i decided.
"Got it," he nodded.
"By the way, thanks for checking on Randi while i was gone," i said. He shrugged.
"Uncle duties and what not," he smirked, "how she doing anyways? You weren't playing when you said she was emotional."
"She tired all the time, i feel bad. She go off on you?" I laughed.
"Nah, just crying and shit. I don't know how you do it."
"Ill take crying over when she gets angry."
"True," Ty nodded. I checked my watch.
"I gotta go find Keisha, i need her to get Sean here. I aint going to Cali, i just got back," i looked around a bit.
"She was here with Kassie earlier, training and what not. How you get her to come back anyways?" he raised a brow.
"I begged," i chuckled. " Why? you still got a crush on her? Thought you were all about the D now."
"Fuck you Cayden," he said, turning to go back to his office. I laughed and went off to find Keisha.
I ended up just calling Keisha from my office and she came up.
"Hey, sorry, Kassie was showing me around. She just left," she said.
"It's all good. I need you to do something for me though. 2 things actually."
"Sure, what is it?" she pulled out a pen and notepad.
"I need you to get Sean here. ASAP."
"Got it," she nodded.
"Also i need you to book me a trip, for 2. Jamaica, not business. Anytime in the next month or so," i looked up from my phone calendar.
"I'll get right on it..." she paused. "It's sweet. I mean, im assuming it's for your wife."
"Yeah it is. Gotta keep her happy," i shrugged. She smiled. Then she seemed to remember something and pulled out her phone
"Oh before i forget, the accountant is coming tomorrow. Just a reminder. Also, your calendar says its Ty's birthday soon, do you want me to arrange anything?"
"Remind me an hour before tomorrow. Get a gift for me, Randi is doing the rest. She throws unnecessary parties, its kind of her thing," i rolled my eyes.
"Okay then. Ill go start on this," she said, turning for the door.
"How was the training by the way?" i asked. Kassie had been here the whole time i was gone, showing her the ropes
"Good. She was really nice. She had a lot of great things to say about you. But i'm not surprised, you're a nice guy Cayden. I cant tell you how much this job means to me, my son too," she brushed her golden curls aside. "I mean i made decent money at the club, but...this is a lot better," she bit her lip. I nodded.
"You should have called me, I always cared about you Keisha," i smiled at her gently seeing her get emotional. She was all tough exterior, it was rare to see this side of her.
"I was embarrassed," she shrugged.
"You aint gotta be. How people make money is none of by business. Bur don't worry, i pay my assistants a lot. You gotta put up with my ass, just wait, you'll be sick of me soon." She laughed.
"Thanks Cayden," she smiled.
"You're welcome," i said simply. She left and closed the door behind her.
Once she was gone i called Randi to check on her.
Randi
Cayden called me just after id gotten off with Cole. He asked how i was and then he was telling me about what he was doing and when he would be home. Then i heard someone talking in the background, it wasn't a guy though, it was a female voice.
“Who is that” I said.
“Who’s who?” He asked. I sat up straighter in the bed chair.
“The chick talking in the back ground,” i said. I couldn't think of any reason for there to be a girl in his office at the warehouse. I knew there were a few girls who were involved in selling and what not but Cayden didn't spend time talking to pedlars or people lower in the chain, he handled all the big time stuff. I started to wonder if he wasn't really at the warehouse but i didn't see why he would lie.
“Keisha,” he said, as if that meant anything. “My assistant.”
“When did you get an assistant? You don’t like anyone, how’d you even pick someone.”
“I told you months ago that I needed an assistant baby,” he reminded me. This was true but still.
“Hm,” I said simply.
“So we good then? I’ll see you in a few hours,” he said.
“Okay,” i said, hanging up. I had been too annoyed to say bye or I love you.
Why would he get an assistant without telling me? If that even was his assistant. I knew there was always random girls walking around that definitely weren’t assistants, the business kind anyways. I wondered what this Keisha girl was assisting Cayden with and my blood started to boil. I tried to not be this person but pregnancy also had me a bit mentally unstable and I wasn’t particularly confident right now. Was Cayden fooling around with another girl because i was becoming the size of a whale? I panicked and started to get up off the bed and pulled on a sweater.
I wasn’t really sure what I was doing until i was driving for 20 minutes and leaving the city to go towards the warehouse. I never came here on my own and I started to second guess myself as I pulled up and security immediately posted up. I got out of the car and locked it. One of the guys looked familiar though and I was pretty sure I’d seen him before.
“Are you lost shawty?” Another guy said, licking his lips in a disgusting way and looking down at me. I was about to release all my fury on him when the familiar guy spoke up.
“That’s Cayden’s wife you idiot” he said. The previous guy shrunk back.
“My bad,” he said quickly, head down.
“Should i get Cayden for you?” The familiar guy asked. I shook my head.
“I know my way,” I said, motioning to the door. They paused but moved out of the way. I adjusted my cardigan and went in. People stared at me because i rarely came period let alone on my own. Also I was pretty pregnant now which drew attention. I went upstairs to the offices and stopped in front of Cay’s. I debated whether or not to knock then decided against it. I opened the door and walked in.
Cayden looked up and his face went very confused when he saw me. He was in the chair and a girl stood beside him, bent over and pointing to the computer screen.
“Randi? What the fuck are you doing here?” He said. My face must not have looked happy because he quickly got up. “I mean is everything ok? Is it the baby?” He came over and put a hand to my lower back. I immediately checked his hand for the wedding band which was there.
“The baby’s fine,” I said, looking him over for lipstick, makeup, anything.
“What’s going on then?” He asked. I looked up at the girl standing and starring at us. Cayden looked up. “Keisha can you give me a minute with my wife,” she stood for a minute looking which was strange but then she shuffled out. I was looking around his office looking for any signs of anything messy when Cayden put a hand to my cheek. “Baby, What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I mumbled, feeling like the biggest fool.
“You drove all the way up here for nothing. Nah,” he shook his head. I choked up, I couldn’t say I came because I thought you were cheating.
“I don’t feel good,” I lied. I did feel sick to my stomach all of a sudden but more out of guilt. Guilty that I’d thought he’d do something like that and also because the way he looked worried now that he thought I was sick.
“Maybe I should take you to the hospital,” he said, feeling my forehead.
“No I’ll be okay,” I said quickly. “I think I just need to go home,”
“I’ll take you,” He said “someone will come pick me up after.” I agreed. He held me all the way out of his office and down the stairs. Once we got in the car I was still thinking about the fact that he got an assistant and didn’t tell me. That was still sketchy, cheating or not.
“How do you know her?” I asked.
“Keisha?” He asked. I waited for him to lie because honestly I already knew the truth. I was simply testing him.  “Being 100, we used to fuck but it was a long time ago, and we were actually friends.”
“So is that why you didn’t tell me?” I asked.
“This about to be a problem isn’t it?” He asked. “Wait? Is that why you drove all the way down here?” Well shit.
“Well I heard a girl in your office,” I said, defending myself. He turned to face me then.
“And you automatically assumed I was what? Cheating?” He looked upset. I was supposed to be the one angry. “You don’t even trust me huh? Still,” he shook his head. When he put it like that he made it sound bad.
“It’s not like that-“
“What’s it like? You came running, so that’s what you thought.”
“Well...” I started. “Normally I wouldn’t be scared but look at me,” i gestured at myself. “I don’t look tight and right at the moment. And don't eve play me like you didn't just hire a girl you used to sleep with and not tell your wife about it.”
“You’re insane Randi. You’ve lost your mind. I ain’t even gon fight you cause you carrying my kid.” I got frustrated and was fighting the urge to break into tears so i just glared out the window for the ride home.
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eldritchsurveys · 4 years
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1033.
Have you ever felt a baby kick? >> I don’t think so. I mean, maybe? It’s possible? Maybe when Vlad was pregnant? But I don’t remember, so. What color pants/shorts are you wearing? >> Charcoal. When is the last time you did something truly fun, and what was it? >> Well, I played a couple of hours of FFXIV earlier? I also watched another episode of Blackish while eating dinner, and that show is a lot of fun for me. What was the scariest moment of your life? >> Oh, who knows. I was probably not fully aware of my emotions at the time anyway, so does it really count as scary if I can’t fully feel my own fear?
Have you ever heard of Leonard Cohen? >> Certainly.
Pancakes or flapjacks? >> I don’t know anything about flapjacks, but I’m not crazy about pancakes. What kind of computer are you on? >> A Lenovo IdeaPad. Do you eat Chinese food? If so, what’s your favorite dish? >> Sure, preferably of the less Americanised variety. I don’t have a favourite dish, though. What are you usually doing at midnight? >> Sleeping. If I’m not sleeping, I’m doing a crossword or reading. Have you ever developed feelings for a friend, but you were already with someone? >> --- If so, how did it turn out? >> --- Give me your brief definition of love. >> I don’t have a brief definition of love. What is the most beautiful part of the human body, male or female? >> --- What kind of shoes do you wear? >> Either sneakers or Docs-type boots. What is the worst thing you’ve ever done when you were really angry? >> I mean, physically hurt someone, what else. Are there any pills you take on a daily basis? If so, what? >> Yeah, I take CBD in the morning and I take the good old Period-B-Gon at night. Do you like the smell of coconuts? >> I do, but only in small doses. It gets overwhelming pretty quickly. What is the heaviest you think you can lift? >> I don’t know. Do you take Tums? >> No, I don’t need them. Have you ever walked on a pier at the beach? >> I’ve been on the Piers on the Hudson River, but I don’t think I’ve been on any legitimate beach piers. How about under one? >> No. At what age do you first remember feeling butterflies in your stomach around someone? >> --- Do you feel that way around anyone now? >> ---
Do you ever talk to yourself or think deep thoughts while on the toilet? >> I usually read on the toilet. Do you ever sing to yourself? >> In general, absolutely. Not on the toilet, though. Couldn’t tell if this was a continuation of the last question or not... What is a sound that relaxes you? >> Babbling-brook type sounds. Forest sounds. Can Calah’s voice. Bruni’s voice. How hard has it been to reach your main goal in life? >> Can’t imagine what it’d be like to have one main goal in life. Like... that’s wild. Do you remember the song about hoes in different area codes? >> Yes, lol. Ahh, what a throwback. What is your main heritage? >> Hm. What kind of pickles do you prefer, if you like pickles? >> I like regular sandwich pickles. I also like bread and butter, which makes me a heathen in Sparrow’s eyes even though we unite over our liking of pickles otherwise. What kind of cheese do you prefer, if you like cheese? >> On sandwiches, pepper jack. With crackers, some kind of brie or Kerrygold swiss, but I’ll take pepper jack or cheddar in a pinch (and usually cheddar if there’s also apple slices involved). In salads, feta. And so on. If you could have a sea creature as a pet, what would you want? >> I don’t want a sea creature as a pet. How about a farm animal? >> Or a farm animal. So, do you have hoes in different area codes? >> Back to this again, eh? What is the most annoying song you can think of that came out recently? >> --- What is a song that you hate to admit you like? >> I feel like it’s insulting to myself to hate admitting that I like something. Getting enjoyment out of something is something to be appreciated, for me... What inspires you to get off your bum and do something productive? >> Inspiration is not what gets me to do things. Executive dysfunction, emotional dysregulation, and random triggers all piss on “inspiration”. I get up and do things when I fucking can. Do you ever use Urban Dictionary? >> I really don’t ever have to. Even slang that’s new to me I can figure out by context clues... Do you find the definitions on there to be generally funny or stupid? >> They’re definitely... special. What comes to your mind when you hear the word ‘transformation’? >> I have no immediate associations with that word.
What was something you regularly played with as a child? >> Paper dolls.
Have you ever given in to peer pressure? >> Sure. If so, what did you do? >> I mean, I don’t have specific examples right now because my memory sucks. But I cannot confidently say that I’ve gotten this far without ever giving into something my peer group wanted me to do. What part of your body have you had the most problems with in your life? >> My brain.
Do a lot of people check you out when you’re in public? >> I don’t know, I assume not, but even the suggestion that that’s possible makes me want to claw my skin off, so good job. What is a good name for a turtle? >> A name that matched its disposition and what type of turtle it was. Can you imitate any accents well? If so, which one(s)? >> No. Do you like having your ear nibbled on? >> Nooooo. What makes a good kisser a good kisser? >> I think it’s about whether the partner likes whatever it is they’re doing. Some people kiss in ways that would disgust the fuck out of me, but would be immensely pleasing to someone else. I guess the best kind of kisser would be the one who found out (either by asking outright or by trial-and-error/being guided) what kind of kissing their partner liked (and when!) and adapted to that. How many times a year do you have a family thing? >> --- What are the best things to put in a smoothie? >> I have no idea. Do you ever eat with your eyes closed and just focus on the taste? >> Sometimes. What do you dislike most about where you live right now? >> Oh, you want a list? Because I’ll make a list-- well, okay, mostly I just don’t like urban noise. I’ve grown really intolerant and skittish of the noises people make as they exist around me (this includes environmental noise like vehicles, airplanes, lawncare machinery, etc, as well). Has anyone ever given you a rose/roses? >> No. I’ve given roses a couple of times.
Are you watching your weight? >> I’m trying to not hyperfocus on my weight, actually. Have you ever become really good friends with someone you found online? >> I guess that’s what happened with Elle. “Really good” throws me off because I don’t know how good of friends we are...? I assume we’re just regular friends! I don’t know! Next! What makes your best friend your best friend? >> --- Do you have a drunk uncle? >> --- Do you hear weird noises in your house at night? >> No. What is something you do that is generally more like something the opposite sex does? >> --- What is the girliest thing you do, if you’re a girl? >> ---
What is the coolest tattoo you’ve ever seen? >> I don’t know, man, I’ve seen a lot of cool tattoos over time. In fact, just the concept of tattoos in general is cool. Have you ever created anything artistic that you’re proud of? If so, what? >> I mean, I’ve written some pretty sweet fanfic. Do you only eat the middle of the oreo, if you eat oreos? >> I don’t eat Oreos.
Do you know anyone with a huge ego? >> Maybe. If so, is there anything else about them you actually like? >> I mean, having a huge ego doesn’t automatically disqualify you from having anything likeable about you from my perspective... Have you ever used a racial slur, even jokingly? >> Yep. Considering a certain obvious racial slur is now a slang term... Do you have any friends who are more like siblings to you? >> ---
If so, what about them do you like most? >> --- What do you like on your hotdogs, if you eat hotdogs? >> On the rare occasion that I do, I like onions and sauerkraut and mustard. What is everyone else in your house doing right now? >> Sparrow is in her room, I assume watching more of the Amnesia Rebirth playthrough on YouTube. What is the most money you’ve ever had at one time? >> $10k. Retroactive payment from Social Security. (Yeah, that’s how long they denied me before I got approved. Long enough that they owed me a total of fourteen grand.) How long do you think it would take you to run a mile? >> I wouldn’t run a mile, so that’s that on that. Look down. What do you see? >> The dark void that is my clothing in this dim lighting. What is a subject that makes you uncomfortable? >> Can’t think of anything right now. Not that such subjects don’t exist, just that they’re not coming to mind. What is a subject you can talk on and on about and not get sick of it? >> FFXIV. What kind of mood were you in most of today? >> A hyperaroused one. Had a lot of emotions and then had to deal with the backlash to having too many emotions before noon. Has anyone ever walked in on you naked? >> No. Tell me an inside joke you have with someone. >> I can’t ever remember these at random. What is the worst thing someone could do to you emotionally? >> Let’s not. What is the worst thing you’ve ever done to someone emotionally? >> Let’s not. How do you feel now about the first person you ever dated? >> Nothing. He’s been dead for over a decade, any feelings about him exist only in emotional flashbacks. How about the last person (your last ex)? >> A little hurt still but mostly just pissed and disgusted. Most of the hurt I still feel now is grief towards myself and what I lost to someone else’s carelessness and self-obsession. What is the best invention ever invented? >> *shrug*
What is something that needs to be invented? >> *shrug* What always makes you burp? >> Carbonation. Well, not always, I guess? But often. What are you doing tomorrow? >> I’m not sure yet. I’ll know when it gets here.
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