#and wont for a few years probably

[guinevereslancelot]

people trying to help me in too pushy of a way <3 how do i say thanks so much but leave me alone <3

#i literally dont WANT you to cc the ceo of a center for helping small businesses in an email to me im not in business yet 🙃 #she literally immediately scheduled a zoom call for tomorrow morning to talk abt applying for a program im not ready for!! #i dont want to apply for a loan im not ready for all that!!! #i literally wont be opening for almost a decade im just planting trees every spring i dont need to do anything else #in ten years i might want to buy some used equipment #aaaaaaaa #this lady i know has been telling me abt this organization for months which is very nice and encouraging me to reach out to them #but i have literally no need or reason to do that yet #and wont for a few years probably #but she got inpatient ig and just reached out for me and now things are happeninggg #i literally have no pitch for my business it barely exists <3 #i registered to claim the name so technically it exists and i planted a crop this spring that wont be ready for 8 years but thats it lol #we dont exist exist #anyway this lady means so very well and wants to help but im so stressed abt this i wasnt ready to deal with this lol #anyway its an organization that helps women and minority businesses or somethingggg idk anything abt it 😭 #and im pretty sure the program she's signing me up for will cost money that i dont have 😣 #i literally dont need to do a small business workshop at this point im just starting out and wont be open for years #ughhhhh #now i have a business zoom call first thing in the morning like an actual professional adult 😐 #this has been a shitpost #anyway its probably a good and wonderful thing that i should be grateful for but its happening too fast and im not prepared #so i dont want to ruin the opportunity by being a dummy who doesn't know abt business ten years before i am even ready for the opportunity #😣😣😣 #im sure its all good and fine and helpful but aaaaaaaaaa

[pigeonslippers]

running with scythes

for @perenlop

#pmd #pokémon #friend's ocs #pmd ocs #sakura jade #animation #my art #i made this in a few hours for fun #the run is literally three frames repeated lol #also first post of 2024 woooo #as you could probably guess I'm not doing monthly challenges this year and likely wont post much. its just one of them years I guess

[missusruin]

Are there any specific projects you're currently developing, like a mini-comic or graphic novel? Just out of curiosity, I know some people prefer to play around with world building and character ideas on their own, but I was curious if anything in particular was in the works.

Working on doll project rn that ill need tumblr folks' help with soon. Other than that, mostly been busy with commissions.

#learning animation and rpgmaker stuff on the side #few years ago did a lot of comic stuff with some discord groups but nothing id feel comfortable w posting here #missusruin replies #rpgmaker stuff probably wont be posted here either since im working w other people #as much as id like to do it w my own ocs/worlds/stories the rest of the group wasnt interested

[oatbugs]

pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me! #LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️ #but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

[marshmellowpaint]

Finally caved at all the BNHA posting Gummy and Zaina have been doing 🤧🤧 have some updated character designs from my crazed BNHA days

#fun fact I ws that insane with it that I created two aussie-esque classes plus teachers PLUS three japanese and their families worth of ocs #all while only ever watching 7 episodes and learning everything from my friend and insta spoilers #man. it was wild #ANYWAYS they #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #my art hhhh #thats all im gonna tag I probably wont draw them for another few years unless my beloved mutuals wish for something <3

[robotpussy]

Christmas needs to be cancelled I've hated Christmas for a few years now but I don't want to celebrate it this year at all

#its going to be a normal fucking day for me. ppl are coming over and i cant stop them because im the only person #with a working fridge or stove rn and my sister needs to get away from the chaos in her own home so i wont #stop ppl from escaping that for a few days but i swear im not doing shit this year. #ill probably just eat but im not celebrating shit.... how can i when the birthplace of jesus is getting decimated? #when 700 palestinian christians have been displaced? to celebrate the birth of jesus when his birthplace is being destroyed

[un-local]

guess who stress-drafted another fic

may or may not be starring that goddamn ghoul. god help me. if he even can

#honestly i might post the outline bc i know i wont get around to finishing it in full for like. years. probably #it literally only took me like a few hours #its not complicated #to draft. #probably gonna be a nightmare to write tho #which is why ill post the outline XD #harebrained thought #hare posts

[bonesandthebees]

Isn't this a good time to mention my sign off is usually "hugs and cookies"

That's just about all I can do for you though. Have my virtual cookies!!

-❄️

thank you snowflake!! I appreciate the virtual cookies very much :)

#i will make chocolate chip cookies tomorrow probably #today i just finished the batch of red velvet chocolate chip cookies i made a few days ago #and they were... disappointing #not bad but dry #i've been fighting with this recipe for literal years now #the first few times i made it they were perfect but suddenly they weren't and i've been chasing that perfection ever since #but anyway now im craving the classics again bc of that #normal chocolate chip cookies wont let me down #ask #snowflake anon

[fyodorkitkat]

Going into 2024 with a respect for what I've lost but hope for roads ahead 🙏💜

#this year was rough but what i found myself thinking about mostly this morning was my late friend tammy. and then subsequently everyone #else ive lost in the past few years #yes things were difficult with relationships jobs general life things. a lot of things changed for me in the last months as well that #were out of my control and because of that infuriated me #and i found myself thinking about what tammy would have probably said to me if she had been alive and in her right mind while i was going #through all of these things #and she would have said 'shut the fuck up jay. if you're telling me this then you're fine and you got to make it. you got to be here so #yell if you want to break some shit if you need to. but just keeping looking forward' #she said things similar to me before so it is like i heard it in her raspy yet lilted voice. anyways this is getting really sentimental #and personal but. i wont tempt things saying 2024 will be great for me. but at the very least i have hope i can make it what i #need it to be. no matter what ends up happening #if you read this ty and sry sry. i hope you have a nice start to your new year and plenty of calm vibes this year #-pers #-cw death mention #but it is in the tags #also super secret lue lore with a prev name drop but i wasnt thinking about that idc yall can know one of my old ones im not editing it

[snaxle]

im just sick of feeling guilty for spending money 😭😭 ..

#og #i wanna save my money so bad but the past year has been really hard on my family. lots of bad shit has been going on #and i just wanted to get stuff to treat everyone so we can have a nice holiday and to show them i love them #but now i have less money in my savings and it makes me really sad </3 #im trying to save my money up to eventually get a car which will allow me to get a better job and be able to move out #although i probably wont be able to move out for another few years bc. everything is so expensive #although my mom is trying really hard to find a job even tho i really dont think she should bc she's sick. but like. we're poor #and it's even sadder bc my younger brother wants to get a job to get some money too and it's like. no please it's fine #we can handle it you don't need to help out we're okay right now #OOF SORRY FOR VENT.. #next year i just really hope i'll be able to like. save my money up a lot which. idk if i can #so to make myself happy i get myself a lil treat here and there otherwise im probably gonna get depressed LOL

[fangomango]

ALL OF YOU

EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU FALLOUT FANS ARE SLEEPING ON THE MINI STORIES IN FALLOUT 76

THERES IS A STORY I DONT KNOW HERE AND NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT AND I FEEL LIKE WE SHOULD LOVE AND OBSESS OVER THE STORIES WITH LIKE...NO STORY

#fallout 76 #there is 0 holotapw here #no notes #(i havent found any but then again i do not go through my holotapes) #like if your gonna write fanfiction write about the things that have a story YOU have to figure out #like the HELP written on the top of the red rocket stop in flatwoods #or the non birthday tea party i. the forest #literally drink a nukashine and youll probably find a little story #(or eat the Halloween candy you got a few years back when you grinded halloween scorched 😶 just me?) #*violently shakes you* DISPITE THE GLITCHES WITH FALLOUT 76 THIS GAME IS REALLY GOOD AND I REFUSE TO HEAR SLANDER #(i love fallout so muchdhfbfndn but even i can say that it is a little janky and laggy...i still wont hear any other slander #lol) #fallout

[apotheoseity]

*the devil looms over my shoulder* should i start posting on mastodon again

#doin a talk #i probably wont given the shitshow a few years ago And i dont really gaf abt social media really #and sheezy has been good enough for me artwise lately but like #this situation is so. vile

[lost-in-azalea-forest]

HI!!! IM ALIVE AGAIN!!! I DON'T HAVE DOUBLE VISION!!!! my eyes still hurt a bit but i miss my mutuals' selfships 🥺🥺🥺

#being disabled sucks a bit a lot kinda sometimes but im glad when it comes to me it usually is back to normal after a rest period #it probably wont allow me to find a stable job cause even studies made me have several serious flare ups but *shrug* #im still student in theory so i will worry about it in a few years

[koipalm]

call me dramatic but im actually starting to get like. kind of sick to my stomach seeing ai art on pinterest

#while im trying to find inspiration from OTHER PEOPLE #im sorry lol i probably am being dramatic about this #and in a few years it probably wont matter anymore and this will be an overreaction #but at least right now #it feels like such a slap in the face that ive dedicated years of my life to this passion #and people are just now taking artists art without their permission #the pieces that some artists have spent DECADES drawing to finally be able to create #and just like that it can be stolen and reappropriated. #now im getting paranoid about someone calling out my art for being ai generated #because of stray marks or because of the emphasis i like to put at intersecting lines #IM SORRY but like a year ago i didnt HAVE the worry that art i see might be ai generated and stolen from hardworking artists! #are artists just going to have to deal with this forever now? #god.... #txt

[the-kipsabian]

can it be called lazy breakfast if its 1pm and i have been awake for 12 hours orrrrr

#maybe its more of a lunch? brunch?? since its lunch time but im eating breakfast items #anyways its agdq time and little bit of food to keep me content and then we try to write today #got a lot of personal stuff i wanna get done hmm #one thing i have done this year so far tbh is that ive been writing a lot more for just myself. stuff that i wanna do and never post #theres at least two fics ive only shared with one person and that probably wont see the light of day any time soon if ever #and im probably gonna write another one of those today #im kinda proud of that. i mean i try not to take pressure in making anything and posting shit and so far its working #lets just hope it carries further too #tho i should probably try to get something publishable worked on too. i have few longer wips waiting to be continued #maybe i'll poll this later. idk. we'll see #anyways i didnt mean to ramble about this i have food to eat lmao #night is an absolute mess on main #OH i do actually have something i can post after i rewrite and edit it a bit! #so gonna try to do that today yay :)

[fatcowboys]

ive been tracking my migraines consistently which i havent in a bit since i know most of my triggers and such but since im trialing meds and treatments and god. december was 2/3 migraine days. fuckin 20 migraine days. the past two weeks in particular i have had three days where i have not had a migraine. this fucking sucks.

#its also a big increase feom the last time i was consiste tly tracking too #which was a few years ago to be fair but also it does feel like i. the past few months it was a big jumpr ather tha. a small increase #god im tired of this shit. schedulwd a fu w my pcp but im also going to try and schedule w am actual neurologist but thats just tiring #to try and find someone who wont suck and also will probably take forever to get in to them #idk the big increase makes me wonder if its worth asking abt getting an mri its just been a Lot. scream. #and like even in the last few months as the amount of treatments and meds and dosages im on has increased the frequencies has increased #which i didnt realize until i counted #i knew the frequency didnt decrease tbh but it seemed like the pain level had decreased and it had adjusted timing to a more manageable time #but. it sucks to go bsck and count to see that in fact it increased lmao #so. ugh. im tired of my brain being such a fucking bitch.