#and what if you want to rebuild that relationship after your idol betrays you. and what if this time he becomes your mentor. a friend. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

liliansun · 3 years

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Listen to SOUR down below and enjoy our collection

🎵 Brutal - LHS

Going to college was supposed to be a restart, leave high school behind and enjoy your journey into adulthood, that is until you run into your ex.

🎶 Traitor - PSH

Sunghoon made you a promise that he’d love you endlessly when you decided to give him a chance. What started out so well ended so badly. Instead of keeping his promise, he betrayed you.

🎵 Driver’s license - LHS

With your boyfriend going off to college, you’re stuck in high school. The two of you will have to figure out how to keep your relationship alive while you finally get your license.

🎶 1 step forward, 3 steps back - KSN & NR

You can only try so hard to get Riki’s attention while Sunoo works hard to get yours. After the final straw, one will realize what he lost while the other will finally claim your heart.

🎵 Deja Vu - CYJ

Loving Yeonjun seemed surreal, up until he cheated on you. In the process of growing from your pain and rebuilding yourself, he comes back to the steps he had once abandoned.

🎶 Good 4 U - PJS

All the years you spent with Jay were like a dream, until reality hit one unexpected day. Now you spend your time alone, watching him create dreams with someone else and to be honest, you’re feeling sour.

🎵 Enough for you - PSH

Seeing you after 5 years since he left you, Sunghoon is battling the decisions of his past and hopes to win you back, but what about his fiancé?

🎶 Happier - CSB

Soobin had you in the best years of his life only to have lost you one unfortunate night. Now that he’s moved on and he’s found someone new, you wish it was you who made him happy.

🎵 Jealousy, Jealousy - HK

Huening Kai was the it boy, the boy everyone wanted and to be honest you hated it. You hated his perfect lifestyle, his perfect girlfriend and perfect reputation. Jealousy is a disease and you need to find a cure.

🎶 Favorite crime - CBG

Despite all the warning you were given, you still stood by Beomgyu day and night. Unfortunately for you, with each day he took a little more of you away. Now you’ve become one of his victims of heartbreak.

🎵 Hope ur ok - SJY

Jake is moving to Korea to peruse his dreams ofㅤ becoming an idol, so he writes you a letter letting you know he’s coming.

Thank you for listening, we hope to see you again soon.

[ A/N: All works above belong and are owned by myself. They’re purely fiction based off the songs from Olivia Rodrigo’s album “SOUR”. There’s not a definite date for when they’ll all be posted, but the taglist for them is open. Be specific if you only want to be tagged for a certain “song” for the member or if you’d like to be tagged to each one as they’re being posted. ]

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pinkletterday · 6 years

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Future Perfect

(A Westallen Campfire Tale)

(with new revisions)

Way back in S3, when I was still grappling with my unaddressed Westallen baggage, I made a Season 1 AU.

Dawn Allen of the original timeline follows Thawne and her father to Flashpoint but comes out in 2014. She gets stuck there much like Thawne did, because her timeline had been erased. So she creates a fake identity and gets a job at the CCPD as a fellow lab tech filling in for Barry while he's in a coma and decides to bide her time and watch over her father as he gains his powers.

In Dawn Allen's timeline, Barry's family moved away when he was twelve and he lost touch with Iris till he came back to Central and joined the CCPD. Meanwhile, Joe and Iris grew increasingly distant, Iris chafing at Joe's restrictions and Joe growing sterner and more fearful till they became alienated. When Iris discovered the truth about her mother, the estrangement was completed.

Barry and Iris fell in love almost immediately and married soon after. They were both much older when the Particle Accelerator blew and gave Barry his powers.

Iris was considered the first lady of the JLA and the matriarch of the Flashes. Dawn grew up idolizing her parents love story and their achievements, although always rather puzzled at her mother's distant relationship with Grandpa Joe. Henry died of natural causes in his fifties but Nora lived to old age and was a loving mother-in-law and grandmother.

When Dawn Allen arrives in 2014, she finds herself already losing memories of her beloved grandmother. She preserves all the memories of the original timeline in her own version of Gideon created by Barry expressly for his children, in which he has stored his and Iris's own memories to call their children home wherever they may be.

At first she is eager to see for herself how her parents' love story plays out. But soon gets upset when her mother starts sleeping with some guy who's also the ancestor of the man who destroyed their family. The upset turns to horror when she realizes Barry has no intention of telling Iris the truth.

With every bold-faced lie that drives the wedge between Barry and Iris further, Dawn becomes more and more disillusioned and heartbroken. She cant reconcile these people with the image she has of her parents. She was always cold to Eddie, but where once she was eager to please and warm with Barry, she now almost hates him.

But it's Joe that's the real cause of all this. Barry coming to live with them may have saved Joe and Iris's relationship, but neither of them ever challenged his authoritarianism and simply accepted his fear-based, patriarchal worldview. Henry and Nora weren't perfect but Barry growing up with a strong female presence meant that he never saw Iris as someone to be protected. Iris's hard-won independence and self-focus away from her father never materialized in this timeline, instead being caught up in the emotional needs of the men in her insular little family and letting it define her.

Things finally come to a head when Thawne finally reveals himself. Dawn takes him by surprise and helps Barry take him down but the timeline is irrevocably broken. Even if Barry went back and reset events, Dawn's own future would still be erased, and along with it her memories. She finally explodes, taking Joe and Barry to task for treating Iris with such disrespect, finally telling Eddie that she cant help resenting him for being the one who loves her mother the way Barry is supposed to and expressing her irrational unhappiness at how Iris hadn't chosen Barry, despite having been best friends for years. These are not the parents she has idolized, and she despairs of ever being able to return to the family she left behind, or see them the same way again.

Barry and Iris, Eddie and Joe see the memories Dawn's parents have stored in Gideon flashing through the time vault - their reconnecting, Barry proposing to Iris, their wedding, working as a team from the first, having children, Iris always being Barry's lightning rod.

Iris is betrayed and devastated and cant even begin to process it. Joe is bowed under the consequences of his duplicity. Barry is full of regret and guilt. Only Eddie finally realizes that no matter how much he loves Iris, he never had any place in this story.

Iris objects.

"I don't belong to anyone. My life is my own."

"Is it? So what. You're just going to let Dawn be erased?"

"I don't know. Am I supposed to just get over all of this so Barry and I can get together and save her?"

"That's up to you, Iris. All I know is that I don't belong here."

"That's not true. You belong to me. I'm choosing you, Eddie."

"There's a difference between choosing something just so you get to choose and choosing because you really want it, Iris."

"What're you saying?"

"I know you love me. But it's never been me you've really wanted."

Cisco then realizes that that timeline could not have disappeared without causing a paradox. The other timeline still exists, albeit in flux, anchored by Dawn's own presence as a time remnant. They figure out a way to use Dawn's memories stored in Gideon to piece the timeline back together so that it coalsces into an alternate universe running parallel to this one. Just as Barry created the speed force but once created it encompasses the length and breadth of time itself, they can create Dawn's universe so that it was always birthed by Earth1, which in turn created Dawn's AU, looping the universes together.

They have to use Eobard's expertise, Cisco's powers, Dawn's energy as a touchstone and Gideon's time drive to do this. At first it seems as though they have failed. Eobard turns on Dawn in a fury - only to be blasted back by her mother, appearing through the restored timeline like a wrathful Sigourney Weaver. Dawn's father, full-fledged, mature, experienced superhero, more than Thawne's equal, finally gets to fight his nemesis and beat him soundly.

In the aftermath, Dawnie sobs out all her woes in her parents arms. Instead of being appropriately shocked and horrified however, they are mostly concerned and amused. Iris reveals that she once walked out on Barry in the early years of his superhero career and that he moved out once when they were very small. The relationship Dawn has idolized has never been perfect, never been free of bad choices and conflict. But its still special because it means they chose to rebuild it time and time again, forgave each other and chose each other no matter what.

"We're not some gold standard, Dawnie. We're human and we mess up. That's how we know it's real."

Older Barry goes to talk to Iris. She asks him about what it was like when he first got his powers and worked as a team with his wife. Then asks him sadly what she had done to not be what her Barry needed. Older Barry tells her gently that we each wrestle with our own demons and the consequences of that struggle sometimes fall unwittingly on our loved ones, but not as a punishment. He tells her that he cant claim to be morally superior or better than his younger counterpart, because he doesn't know who he would be if his own parents had been ripped away, or who younger Barry would have become if Joe hadnt been there to protect and love him, flawed and imperfect as that love was. At the end of the day, Iris has to choose what she wants to do with those consequences. Nothing she chooses is either good or bad, but simply her own to face.

Older Iris speaks with Barry. To her amusement, he reminds her more of Don than her husband.

He says he is sorry to have treated her counterpart so shabbily.

"I think that's something she should hear, not me."

"Aren't you disappointed in me too?"

"Why? You're not my kid." She laughs, "Okay, so if I was her I'd kick your ass. But I'm not her. I've lived a lot longer and seen many stupid choices made by people who should know better. Fact is, Barr, you're a kid and you made a mistake. Doesn't mean you get a free pass, but it isn't the end of the world."

"What if she never forgives me?"

"Then you have to live with that. You have to live with it and still forgive yourself." *sigh* "You can't let your choices be defined by other people, Barry. Not even the ones you love. That's where you went wrong. You thought you'd tell her about your feelings only if she loved you. You thought you'd tell her the truth only if she saw you first. You didn't stand up to Joe because you were afraid of his disapproval. God knows no one can stop you once you go full tilt, Barry Allen, but you can't hold yourself back from the things you need to do because other people won't give you what you want."

"I was angry." *buries face in hands* "I told myself it was because Joe told me not to tell her, but honestly it was because I was angry. I woke up and she was with Eddie. She saw him, she saw the Flash but never ever saw me." *slumps* "I know that's awful."

*shrug* "It's how you felt. What you did was bad, but feelings aren't wrong or right. They just are."

"But he was better, wasn't he? Your Barry?"

"He's different. He lived a different life. We didn't grow up together. We weren't each other's first loves. He's not perfect, Barr. Neither am I. We've hurt each other pretty badly too. But he and I...we fall in love with each other a little more after every break. And every single time, it feels a little more precious."

Older Iris finally goes to see Joe. He's almost broken.

"Dawn told me I don't have much of a relationship with you where you come from."

"No. I was headstrong, you were controlling."

"Guess I'm destined to mess it up, then."

"Destiny has nothing to do with it. You were the one who lied. The one who's still lying." *meaningful look*

*crying* "I'm going to lose her forever, aren't I?"

"Maybe." *sigh* "I couldn't forgive you for the longest time. But then sometimes, with Barry, with my own kids...don't get me wrong, I hate what you did. But maybe I get why."

"I always told myself that it was to protect you. But I think it became more to protect myself."

*weary shrug* "That's usually how it goes. Kids are hard." *wry smile* "I guess we all only start forgiving our parents once we have our own."

*weak laugh* *scrubs face* "What do I do?"

"Let her go."

"What?"

"Let her go. Let her feel what she wants, do what she wants. Maybe she'll come back to you. But you need to build a life for yourself that doesn't involve her."

"I don't -"

"The only way to be a good parent is to stop living for your kid so your kid gets to live for themselves. Figure out who you are when you're not a cop or a father. You can't put it all on her...Dad."

"Guess you really have learned from my fuck-ups, huh?"

*modest shrug* "Can't make 'em all myself."

Cisco opens a portal and Older Barry and Iris stand flanking their daughter, saluting a final farewell to their younger counterparts and Joe.

Barry goes back to talk to Iris.

"You don't have to see me or talk to me," *leaning his forehead on her door, fingertips trailing over it as though to feel hers through the wood* "I know I haven't been any kind of friend that you deserve. But I need you to know. You asked me if I laughed at you, if I looked down on you. I never did. It wrecked me not to tell you, to hold myself back from telling you the truth. I don't even know why I did it. All I knew was that you looked at me the way I had wanted you to my entire life, and I was too greedy and selfish to let that go. I never let myself think what would happen when you finally found out. You know I'm good at not thinking about consequences. Like that time I tried to impress you by climbing old Mrs.Leroy's crabapple tree. I didn't think, I just did it and I got stuck, Iris. And this time you couldn't be there to talk me down. Because it was you I was hurting," *trying not to cry* "I don't know how to make it right with you, or if I ever can. I don't expect anything of you, or hope for anything more than you're ready to give. But please just let me know whatever you need to not hurt anymore. And I promise I will never ever lie to you about anything ever again" *chuckles through tears, remembering their old childhood vow* "I promise on all the mac and cheese in the world. On all the miles I'll ever run. On all the memories you've ever given me. On everything that I love. I promise, I promise, I promise." He wipes his eyes on his sleeve and leaves, not knowing that Iris is sitting down on the floor next to the door, silently crying.

In the morning he finds a letter telling him that she needs some space but she'll come back and talk once she's ready.

Six months later, Barry gets a call as he weaves through the summer rain in front of Jitters. It's Iris.

He stands stock still and stammers if she's decided to come back.

"Yeah, I have. I think I'm ready to make a clean start, if you are."

"God, yeah. I am," he laughs, bewildered by his good fortune. "I meant it, Iris, I don't expect anything -"

"I know," she says quietly. "And I don't think I'm ready for...that, yet. I might be, eventually though," the world stops and he's afraid to breathe wrong. "But I swear to God, Barry Allen, if you ever lie of hide anything from me again -"

"I won't, I swear! I promised didn't I?"

"Yeah. You did," he can hear the grudging smile in her voice and his heart lifts.

He clears his throat. "When are you coming? Do you want me to pick you up or-"

"I'm already here, actually."

"Wait what?"

"Look behind you."

Iris stands across the road, waving at him. He draws up in front of her as though in a dream.

"Hi," he breathes, a grin blooming uncontrollably.

She tucks a curl behind her ear, reflecting his tremulous joy back at him. "Hi."

Just like that, they fall in love again. And this time, it feels a little more precious.

#myfic #westallen #the flash #fic outline #plot #campfire tales #future perfect #freeform #s1 au #canon divergence #dawn allen

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therumbellehappyendingaward-blog · 6 years

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Chapter 2 writer; @thecompletebookworm

PROMPT: TIME

AO3: HERE

A/N: I actually haven't watched the show since somewhere in Season 4. I've attempted to get up to date with the Gideon/ Season 6 things, but it is after all, only a week when I have a job that's driving me crazy. I apologize if I messed up something crucial, but I guess we're already in AU zone since Gideon was successfully saved and we have this potential angst with a side of fluff and babies, so what's a little more AU. Basically what I'm saying is when I'm wrong about something in canon, please don't hate me.

Trigger Warning: Description of Panic Attack (To avoid skip part after “Whatever it is we can fix it” to section break.)

The walk from the library to the pawnshop had never felt longer. Even in her worry, Belle couldn't help but smile at the Gold and Son sign. It may have come from the Black Fairy's curse, but there was still something touching about the names together on the sign, her boys working together.

She pushed the door open trying to force a smile on her face.

"Mother!" Her son was the first one forward, his head darting up from his work as soon as the bell on the front door chimed. "Mother! I thought we weren't going to see you until lunch. Is something wrong?"

Gideon rushed over, hands already ready to support her if necessary but waiting until she gave her permission. Gideon craved physical contact but was seldom willing to ask for it. It was a reflex that she and Rumple were still working on, but it would take a lot more than freely given hugs and kisses to get over twenty eight years of neglect and abuse.

"I'm fine." The words felt small and untrue, but she pulled her sons arms around her anyway, allowing herself to lean back into his tall frame. She felt him relax and it gave her courage. Gideon didn't hate her. Not yet at least. Things with this baby would be fine. They would just take time.

Time she wasn't sure she had if she was honest with herself. She saw the worry in Rumplestiltskin's eyes, even if he tried to hide it. Belle wasn't sure if knowing the truth would actually help his worry, or if the addition of a fourth family member would send him over the edge.

Still she knew she couldn't keep the news a secret for long. It had been four hours at most since she found out about the baby and already she wasn't acting like herself. She had practically fled the library, leaving it unmanned and unlocked. It had been practically a miracle she'd remembered to grab a coat, but she supposed that was in part because keeping herself healthy had never seemed more important.

"Is it so wrong for me to miss my family in the middle of the day?" She gave Gideon a kiss on the cheek.

While she knew the baby couldn’t be a secret for long, seeing their faces made her realize she couldn't do this right now. She just needed a few moments, a little more time to center herself, to let herself get used to the idea of a baby.

It wasn't that the child wasn't wanted. Gods no. She already loved this baby with every ounce of her being. It was just unexpected and with life in Storybrooke already so up in the air it felt like too much to handle, more than she felt she could handle.

She hadn't realized she had started to cry before she felt her husband's hand wiping away the tears.

"Sweetheart, Everything is going to be okay. Whatever it is we can fix this."

Somehow that only made her cry harder. She couldn't even look at either of them anymore. Her entire body felt like it was out of her control now. She was shaking and she couldn’t breathe. Was

"Gideon help me get her to the cot in back"

Belle could hear them moving her, could feel her son’s hands around her, but she didn't feel like she was present any more. It was like they were doing it to someone else someone who didn't have earthshattering news for their family.

A million questions ran through her head as she tried to focus on actually getting some air. Maybe her inability to breathe wasn't coming from anxiety and something was actually was wrong with her. Was this the unspoken cost of the magic necessary to speed things along? Was her body betraying the baby right now? Hurting them instead of providing of safe shelter?

The questions racing through her head at a million miles a minute were only silenced by everything slowly fading to back.

She felt the hand first. A steady rhythm going through her hair, somehow anchoring her. Next she felt her head lying in the lap of her husband.

"Sweetheart?" His voice was so unsure; his eyes brimming with unshed tears.

Belle forced herself into a sitting position and tried to look around. "Where's Gideon?"

Gentle hands pulled her back down onto his lap, before resuming their slow dance through her hair. "He's fine. I sent him to get Doctor Whale."

"No!" The word escaped her before she realized she said it.

Rumplestiltskin looked affronted. "Belle, we're worried. We're both terrified something is wrong. You haven't been yourself lately. You’re tired all the time and your stomach isn’t even tempted by Granny’s hamburgers. You need to let us help you."

When said like that, any hope of keeping the pregnancy to herself or just between Rumplestiltskin and her died.

"I'm scared." The words were barely audible in the quiet shop.

The hand paused in her hair. “Belle, even after all this time, you are the bravest, most remarkable person I know. It’s okay to be scared, but you have to face the problem. You taught me that.”

His eyes were so earnest and pleading. They had agreed on no more secrets and she couldn’t resist anymore.

“I’m pregnant.”

She studied his face as the emotions flooded across it. His worry changed to confusion and then to love and wonder.

Rumplestiltskin placed a hand against her still flat stomach, as if he could feel the babe growing in it already. Then he leaned forward to capture her lips in a kiss that was practically reverent.

“That’s wonderful. But how?” He bashfully avoided meeting her eyes. Obviously he knew how. He’d always been an enthusiastic participant. But she knew what he meant. They hadn’t exactly been in a bedroom state of mind recently. Between helping Gideon and rebuilding the trust in their relationship, it never felt like the right time. Plus the pain that had still lingered from an expedited birth could certainly put a damper on even the most romantic of intentions.

“That was my first thought too.” She whispered. Belle tried not to focus on the hand ghosting over her abdomen making this feel real. “I looked in the library-“

“Naturally,” Rumplestiltskin chuckled before pressing kisses into her hairline.

She hummed in pleasure at his actions. It was easy to forget she had ever been worried when he seemed so ready to shower her and the baby with affection. Of course, the bigger and more unpredictable challenge was still to come.

“And I think the Evil Queen didn’t use enough magic to speed up my pregnancy.”

She felt Rumplestiltskin tense beneath her at the memory of the terrible time, of how he missed his second sons birth, of how she wouldn’t even tell him Gideon’s name, of the blatant fear on her face.

Belle hurried on with her explanation trying to keep them in the present. “If you’re having fraternal twins, you need more magic. Of course I don’t know much about magic, but that seems to be about right, I mean larger cost and all.” She was babbling, but really couldn’t stop herself. It felt easier if she got it all out at once.

“And maybe I shouldn’t even be calling them fraternal twins, it could be super-, superf-” She should have brought her notes from the library, because even as she tried to explain it was like her mind was blank.

“Sweetheart,” He grabbed her hand, trying to keep herself from getting too worked up again. “You’re not doing this alone anymore. We can figure this out together.”

“So you’re not mad?” Even though Rumplestiltskin seemed excited, she couldn’t help but ask. She needed to.

She knew this pregnancy dragged up so many regrets and fears. If there had been no Black Fairy, no Evil Queen, they would have had two lovely children, with the language of twins all their own. They would have decorated a nursery and switched out the cribs for bunk beds eventually. There would have been laughter as their house was made the castle or pirate ship or dragon’s den for countless playtimes. But that was a time stolen from them, an illusion that she needed to give up on to give both her children an opportunity to be themselves and not her silly idolized version of them.

Rumplestiltskin’s arms tightened around her. “I could never be mad about this. Having a family with you was all I ever wanted.”

There was so much sadness laced in those words. So many memories of the times she’d doubted that, of times when his quest for power to protect that dream sabotaged it.

Belle began to fiddle with her wedding ring to give herself something to focus on.

“I just don’t know how to tell him. Without you I’d certainly mess up telling Gideon I was pregnant.”

There was a crash behind them and Belle lifted herself off Rumplestiltskin’s lap to see the source of the commotion.

Gideon was staring blankly at them, a tea tray smashed on the floor in front of him.

“Pregnant?” His voice was shaking.

Belle tried to pull her son into an embrace, to hold him as they sorted things out, but he pulled away from her.

“No! This can’t be happening now! You said you would help me! You said you’d help me free the children still stuck in the Dark Realm!”

Every word felt like a stab. She knew things wouldn’t go well, but she thought it would be her son’s insecurity in his place in this family that caused all the problems not his desire to be a hero that was so much like hers.

“Gideon! Wait!” Her shouts were only greeted by the slam of the shop’s front door.

She turned to look back at Rumplestiltskin, who staring at his cane intently seemed much calmer than he had any right to be.

Belle tried to pull him off the cot to help her chase down their son, but he merely waved a hand and repaired the tea set Gideon had dropped.

“What are you doing? We have to go after him!”

He gave her a weak smile. “No, sweetheart, that would only be chasing him away.”

Belle reluctantly sat down on the bed next to him, leaning into him as if she could absorb all his calm and parental knowledge.

“He needs time to come to terms with it.” Rumplestiltskin squeezed her hand. “I think we all do. We just have to remember. This isn’t like last time.”

Even as he said it, Belle heard the slight waver in his voice that meant Rumplestiltskin was trying to convince himself as well.

#group orange #finish this #rumbelle #thecompletebookworm

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tales0fthenugget · 7 years

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letter to 10 years ago

June 4, 2007

Hello there, kiddo! Are you still feeling anxious that in almost a week you will be joining the work force already? You will not contribute in the country’s unemployment rate :) Yup, that’s going to be your new life - I mean your new chapter after college graduation. i know that you are more scared than excited at this point. And that’s okay. Sabi mo nga e, you are scared because you don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Yeah, unlike the past 15 years of your life when the expectation is you will go to school and well, graduate eventually. I don’t remember everything but I know you already wrote tons about the uncertainty that you are feeling since last school year.

Now, if you would let me - I’d like to say a few things to you. Uhm, just to make you feel a little better and to feel that someone understands you, maybe a little more than the others - including yourself.

I. What Matters More

Right now you have very low self-esteem. I can’t blame you. About a year and a half ago you were kicked-out of your first course because you got two D’s in a semester. That’s one more than the allowed in your “prestigious” course. Even if you never said it out loud, that drained whatever little self-confidence you had remaining then. What a major rejection! And you’ve been blaming that and your low grades in school for not getting a good head-start for life after school. But you have to get back right on track. You may feel that the job you are starting next week is not the dream job, but the world out there is much bigger than the comforts of your school/course/grades. Your self-confidence might be shattered but you will rebuild it and even better, you will strengthen your self-worth. Please continue to strive to be the best, regardless of your failed attempts. You will learn in no time that those things matter only in a few months, which is not a rationalization for you to feel better. You ought to trust me on this. Your passion to be better matters more.

June 26, 2007

II. Song of Silence

Last March was one of the turning points in your life. You’ve (hand)written 10+ pages of reflection and realizations during silent retreat. Keep those loose sheets of paper. You’d go back to it from time to time when you need it. You’ve been a Christian for about 20 years now, but it was only then that you knew and felt in your heart that you found God - or maybe more appropriately, that you found the grace to go back to God. The times ahead will be difficult and we both know that you will get lost again and again and again. Do not forget to keep yourself open to accept His grace again. Find the time to listen once more to the song of silence and find your way back. Silence may be difficult to hear amidst the noise of daily life but it’s not impossible. Promise me you’ll listen really, really hard, okay?

III. Learning How to Learn

I thought that your prepared (generic) answer to the job interview question, “what are your strengths?” is smart. Hehe. You didn’t answer traits. Instead you answered your not-so-generic life roles to make a point that your experiences from those roles made you what you are now. Basically, you are saying that your strengths come from the experiences and it’s ingrained in you. Smart, eh?? Lol.

You answer three things but the first one is your favorite i.e. you are a teacher. Being a teacher means you know how to learn and you’ve got a pretty good idea how to make others learn. Thanks to your high school and university for the opportunities to grow into one. You could go beyond that and learn continuously from new and different experiences and interactions with diverse people. Learning is knowing one’s self, you once said in a speech. And you’d get addicted as you find out that you are limitless. Learning enables you to do things you thought you never could.

IV. Never Give Up on Love

Let me share my latest realization while biking along the dusty, rough roads of Bagan. It’s one of the cliches to the highest level like in Harry Potter (which, btw, is celebrating 10yrs today for the first book) where Dumbledore said what makes Harry powerful is love. Good thing naitawid ito nang maayos ni JK Rowling (idol!).

A lot of times you won’t be loved back the way you want to be or you won't be loved back at all. There will be times you will feel alone or betrayed. People may break their promises, your trust and even test your faith. They could be ungrateful, not understanding or appreciating what you’ve done for them - absolutely no idea of what you’ve sacrificed or given up to keep the relationship and this so-called love. Oh the pains of finally accepting things are not meant to be that it’s time for you to let go. You will get hurt, cry your heart out and vow to raise up those walls again, making sure it’s not gonna be for just anyone to come in.

But how many times you’d also break your promise to yourself that never again will you trust or open up and share yourself to other people? Endless. Because you believe, rather you hope, that maybe next time you won’t get hurt. Because you also know that love is where you’d be the happiest. So you don’t ever, ever give up on love. Just like how God has never given up on you no matter how many times, most specially on times, you are seemingly unlovable.

V. Take Care

Please make sure to take care of your body, mind and soul. You’re an athlete so I trust you’d be diligent in taking care of your body and health. You know that very well from the silent retreat - things become a little easier if your body is in great shape. Plus you’d have to do this for your future hobbies that you don’t know yet ;P

But taking care of your mind - please take extra effort. You’ve had a good foundation with all those failures and disappointments. More of these will come as you grow older. Your mental toughness and its endurance will put you into test. Sigh. Good thing that your life motto included “the limit of 1/x as x approaches zero.” It takes time to get up whenever you fall. But basketball taught you that the game will not stop when you fall. You’d have to get back as quickly as you can. So you bounce back. You have to bounce back and it would make you tougher.

Please take care of your soul. I am not an expert - but whatever happens do yourself a favor and do not stay broken for long. Because you will be broken - not just once, or twice but many times. Learn to put your pieces back together. It’s gonna be hard but you’ll get there. Just believe. And well, listen to the song of silence.

Before I wrap up this relatively long letter - I just want to say that I am proud of you - of what you’ve become. You’ve been something I’ve never thought you’d be when you were little, tbh. Look at you - barely an adult yet you’ve had experienced and learned so much. I am mostly proud that you’ve embraced to be a woman for and with others, especially when you were teaching which you will make sure you’ll never stop doing. You may not be teaching inside a classroom anymore but oh you will continue to teach every chance you’ve got. I have no doubts that you’ll do more and continue to make me and other people proud. So long as you continue to believe, hope and love.

Lastly, I’d have to scrap this letter because honestly, you don’t really need it. You’re good enough to figure all these things on your own.

- From Your Future Self 10 Years After ^_^

#talesofthreedecades

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