#and we took the bag around the little airport metro and whatnot and it got a little squished but i did my best to keep it ok

[daemon-404]

i am once again thinking about the time at a hotel when my mother wouldn't let me take the elevator downstairs (the stairs were emergency-only) to put a dying bug in the grass because the rest of my family wouldn't have lights (the key card was necessary for both) for a maximum of like 7 minutes so i just cried in the hallway

#the bug was trying to climb up the window our whole train ride #it used our food bag to reach up higher but obviously there was glass #it kept trying for like 20 minutes #until it eventually fell into the bag #and we took the bag around the little airport metro and whatnot and it got a little squished but i did my best to keep it ok #when we got to the hotel room we took out the food for dinner and the bug fell out with it #it was alive so i was happy at first because this was really worrying me (probably bc of period hormones tbh) #but its legs were crushed #and it was very clear it was dying #and i got all emotional because the whole train ride it just wanted to get back outside #so i wanted to put it in the grass. just so it could be outside again #feel the earth and smell the air all that romantic shit idek if bugs could do that or if it was even conscious #but i didn't want it to die in a stuffy hallway is all #so i took it to the elevator but you need the key card to use it #i asked my mom to borrow it for a minute #she said no ofc but i still can't get her reason?? it was night and everyone was going to bed anyway #so what do the lights matter??? we were on the second floor it would've taken like 2 minutes to go downstairs and outside #there was a patch of grass right next to the hotel entrance #but she wouldn't let me so i just. put it down on the carpet. on the side of the hallway so it wouldn't be stepped on #and (again probably because of period hormones) i just sat there and cried about it #and she still wouldn't fuckin let me #in the morning it was dead #i took it outside and put it in the grass. #it haunts me. i still feel so bad about it #my mom's great but like... c'mon. it would've taken 5 minutes.