#and they never Dated here. just had the homoerotic teenage friendship 🫶

[lionydoorin]

On the train and wanted to give you some blorbo time. When do you think Tara realized she wasn’t straight? (Also, unrelated: do I really have to say that “Songs About Death” by The Wonder Years is Carpenter sisters-coded?)

(i loved songs about death and i agree it is very carpenter sisters coded <3)

i like this idea i've seen before here on tumblr of woodsboro being a small, religious town. tara's parents getting married for convention right before they graduated high school, as soon as sam was born, and, with it, the carpenters being the kind to try to look like your perfect american family. this would make the impact of sam and tara's dad leaving even harder, because this dream in particular was ruined and the façade fell and shtuff. but anyway-

i believe queerness wasn't something they spoke about, at all. it was only the whole "women are meant to be with men" and "men are meant to be with women" and that's it.

as a child, tara didn't have much of a reference. she only had her bedtime stories about princes and princesses, male and female toys to make husbands and wives and the little dollhouses. she never thought much of it.

sometimes, when she was on her own, she did mix up and make different pairings, such as putting two female barbies to sleep on the same bed. she thought to herself that it was simply because she had less ken's to play around, but she never treated any of them as males and kept them as couples.

when her dad left, of course, her mother decided to not give a shit about anything and sam changed, so tara was left to discover who she was all on her own, leaning onto her friends for support as they all navigated growing up together.

tara and amber, in particular, had always been inseparable. you know, the whole childhood best friends thing: both were super clingy and amber was totally possessive and overprotective of tara, her best friend, and would push any kids that tried to bully her from the playgrounds.

they were the kind to always walk holding hands, the kind to share lunch and sit together and have almost daily sleepovers that they didn't even need permission to, because their parents wouldn't notice nor mind them missing.

tara always loved her; something childish and pure, an innocent love that she had never even thought about.

but puberty came, and talks about who's cute and who's not, and first kisses, and first dates and boyfriends and girlfriends became a natural thing in her group. tara was never unsure of her attraction to men. she knew she could see herself dating one or getting married to one – but women were always a tricky subject, one she could recognize, but chose not to tackle.

everyone felt a little bit jealous of her best friend starting to get attention, right?

amber was always more of an extrovert between the two of them; with that, it was natural that she had made a lot of new friends, and, of course, people would fall for her charm pretty easily. and it bothered tara endlessly.

she thought it was natural to feel her chest tighten at the sight of amber laughing at something bethany from her film club said. to not want to share her best friend's attention with jimmy from chem lab, who everyone knew had the biggest crush on amber, because she was afraid she'd want to hang out with him instead of her.

she'd ignore the way her heart would be crushed at the mere thought of amber liking him back, of her having her first kiss with him, of her ever actually dating him.

(not because she wanted amber, but because she was her best friend, and she didn't want to lose her, of course. she didn't like girls. not like that.)

until mindy came out, and tara was vehemently supportive. they were at the meeks household, and mindy started talking about her experience, about how she had butterflies in her stomach whenever a pretty girl smiled at her, how her cheeks flushed whenever she thought about kissing one, and holding one, and calling someone their girlfriend.

it all felt way too familiar for tara's liking.

she became more self aware after that; of how she loved playing with amber's soft, dark hair, how she felt so safe cuddling with her whenever they watched something, how she'd blush when amber gave her a compliment and called her pretty.

how she thought amber was the prettiest girl she had ever seen.

#i almost made this too long cause i wanted to talk about tara and amber's first kiss but i talk A Lot lmfao #i do think she realized it in the unrequited phase #and they never Dated here. just had the homoerotic teenage friendship 🫶 #tara carpenter bisexual queen making her barbies kiss #tara carpenter #tamber #scream #ma talks scream #ask #kirbycarpenter