#and then. fuckin. will didn't make it One Episode before eating human meat

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

why didn't anyone tell me that Hannibal is a comedy

#its absolutely Absurd lmfao #'you wouldnt like me psychoanalyzed' SIR???????? #what is he??? autistic hulk??? s i r ????? #i really didnt expect them to reveal Yeah Hannibal is The Cannibal literally in his first appearance #i thought it was gonna be like... Hinted at... maybe the reveal is in the season finale or a later season #NOPE. they were immediately like 'yeah heres our main villain. hes a therapist. everyone likes him. hes so sus but no one picks up on it' #and then. fuckin. will didn't make it One Episode before eating human meat #will describing the 'copycat' killer's work as Art etc & then we cut to hannibal smiling at this description #motherfucker isnt slick. this is hysterical #every five minutes theres a reference to the copycat or cannibals or whatever #and immediately theres a shot of hannibal standing off to the side like 🧍 #HES SO FUNNY AND FOR WHAT #absolutely unprompted #god and hannibal. like. bringing link sausages to feed will's dogs. what in the cartoony ass villain fuckery is this #its Also funny how like three different people - including hannibal - are trying to rizz up will #so far the only one actively succeeding from what i can tell is hannibal #and then - then fuckin. will is all like 'i feel responsible for abigail 🥺' and lowkey hinting that he wants to take care of her #smash cut to hannibal making her his murder kid. the fuck. hes so transparent #hannibal 'abigail is a bit like both of us<3' lecter #and him continuously having dinner with jack and jack being like Ohhhh This Dinner Is So Good Whats The Meat #hannibal: *suspicious pause* rabbit #theres just so many funny moments from all of the characters #all functionally unintentional. but still. love this show #i was gonna finish naruto or watch warrior nun but fuck!!! didnt do that!!! watching the gay subtext cannibal show! #literally in the first ep when will was like 'this guy is killing and eating women bc he loves them' i was Immediately like #ohhhh so this is like A Killer Per Episode show. bc theres no way thats hannibal lmfao #also jack and wills dynamic... jacks like 'this is my special little guy <3' and then points to will whos huddled shaking in the corner #this show is so entertaining. i expected it to be boring. its fuckin weird and i Like It #i hope it gets sooooo fucked up. cant wait for hannibal to really lean into the manipulation to convert will to Murderism. its already begu

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

#tma #neptune's tma notes #notes #tma season 3

[keith-the-hoe]

The Glimmer Hoes Master Plan| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: [X]

Episode Two: [X]

Episode Three: [X]

Episode Four: [X]

Episode Five: Slaughter House

Warnings:

This whole thing is plain stupid and a waste of time. It may contain violence, sex scenes and a shit ton of no no words. Do not read if you are a five year old. No but seriously, do not read if you are under age. Lolz.

Writer's notes: Oh wowie! This is the last episode of this crack fanfic. What a crazy ride! I have no idea where this is going lead to so it's probably going to leave you in a long state of confusion. This one is going to be just slightly longer than the previous episodes so I'm sorry about that lolz. Thank you for reading this messed up story. Have fun.

------------------

Cast:

Mick Jagger

Keith Richards

Charlie Watts

Bill Wyman

Robert Plant

Jimmy Page

David Bowie

Ronnie Wood

--------------------------

"All aboard! Next stop, the cat house!"

A tall man with curly blonde hair yelled from across the balcony. Charlie happened to be the dumb whore who woke up first. He heard the man yelling which angered him so much. The other hoes were still asleep so he quietly leaped over Bill and headed out to the patio. He spotted the dumbass who was yelling a bunch of nonsense.

"Leave them be...." A sickly voice came from behind Charlie. He quickly turned to look only to see a pale Mick sitting on the floor covered in blood. Charlie's eyes widen and began to fear for his life. Mick's eyes were all droopy and looked right at Charlie.

"Wot in bloody hell have you done Mick!?" He yelled in fear. Mick took a deep breath.

"I didn't do a damn thing!" Mick responded. "Those damn bastards attacked me!" He pointed at the man with curly hair and another one with dark hair. They were both tossing random shit into the pool to see if the item would float. Charlie was utterly confused. He looked back at Mick.

"Sweet mother of God dad shoes penis plant....." Charlie said he just shook his head in pure disappointment. The whore of The Rolling Stones let two other whores of Led Zeppelin beat the shit of him? How did that even work? He just wanted to go home. Keef came out of the room and spotted Mick on the floor. 

“WOT IN BLOODY HELL HAPPENED TO YOU MICK!?!” Keef yelled sounding very worried. Mick just slowly looked up at him. He was extremely hungry but did not want to slaughter anyone in front of his buddies so he made up the lie that Robert Whore Plant and Satanist James Patrick Page had beaten him up. Keef went up to the two to give them a piece of his monkey mind. “Hey douchbags!” As soon as one of them turned to look at him, Keith swung his arm and punched the side of Robert’s jaw causing him to fall into the pool. Hope he can swim. 

“Oh! You FOOKING monkey! You just knocked my fuck buddie into the damn pool!” Jimmy yelled sounding pretty darn pissed. Keef body slammed him into the pool and began to attack him. Charlie just stood there watching him embarrass the fuck out of himself. He turned to look at Mick and noticed his was no longer there. He looked around and did not spot him anywhere. Bill came out of the room and saw Charlie panicking. 

“Yo mate? Wot’s up with you now huh?” He asked as he spotted Keith attacking the two Led Zeppelin members. He was not going to question what he was even trying to achieve. 

“Mick went missing!” Charlie responded. Bill rolled his eyes. Now he was confused on why he is freaking out about the whore being missing. Sometimes he just did not understand Charlie. Keith had unsuccessfully drowned both members. Jimmy got away to alarm the other two that there is a mad monkey trying to kill them. Damn he just wanted to defend his buddy. Fuckin’ whores. Good thing no one actually likes Led Zeppelin. He went back to Bill and Charlie. He noticed Mick wasn’t with them so he went into panic mode.

“W-where did Mick go!?” He asked. Bill and Charlie just shrugged. The three heard screaming coming from a room that was across from where they were. 

“HELP! Mick Jagger is trying to kill me!” The screaming came from a woman. The three lads ran to the room. Mick was laying on a bed with a blade in his hand. 

“Mick! You fooking wanker! You’re scarring the poor girl!” Keith scolded Mick. Charlie was absolutely done with the glimmer hoes. He wondered when they would break up the band and part ways. It seemed to him that will not happen any time soon. Keith carried Mick out of the room. “Jesus mate! The hell’s up with you huh? You’ve been acting all strange.” He asked as he took him to their room. Mick’s faded blue eyes looked right at Keith’s dark eyes. He seriously needed food. 

“I....I-” He spat out. 

“You wot?” Keith cut him off. Mick was trying to gather his words but was too weak for it. Instead, he pointed at the door. Keith looked at him confused. “You wanna go outside?” he asked. Mick nodded in response. 

“Jesus! Well let’s get to it! I am so sick and tired of this hell hole!” Charlie said angrily. Keith stuck his tongue out at him. Mick wrapped himself in a blanket and Keith carried him out. The Rolling Stones hopped in the van that was vandalized not by Led Zeppelin but by The Who. Charlie was mad. “Oh! Those fucking ratatouille bastards!” They began to drive.

It has been quite a while since they had left the motel. They haven’t made any stops. Not even for bathroom breaks. Mick just kept staring at Keith’s monkey face. To him, it was like the most beautiful face in the entire world. Charlie put some tunes on the radio. A song by Led Zeppelin was playing which drove Charlie into road rage. He began to drive past cars, crash into them, drive them off of places and all sorts of other dumb shit. Bill, who was sitting next to him eating cheeseballs that he had found in one of Keith’s trousers, turned off the radio. He looked at Charlie with a scared look. 

“The hell was that for!?” He asked. Charlie just sat there trying to figure out why he just did that. Honestly, no one had a clue. The sun was starting to set but Charlie was not going to stop driving. He was going to keep on going until they found a house that belonged to them. Only problem was, it was way too far away from where they were settling in. Mick gently ran his fingers through Keith’s hair. He just looked at Mick’s arm with a confused look. Mick looked very sick which began to worry him a bit. 

“Hey buddy, don’t you worry about a damn thing, we’ll get you somewhere safe.” He said softly. He also noticed that Mick had a hungry look in his face. An idea sparked in his head. “Hey Mick! I have some cheeseballs you could eat!” He said as he searched for them. “Uh guys? Where did I put my cheeseballs?” Bill was eating them. He put them away before anyone noticed. “Ah darn! That was my only food :(” Keith said sounding upset. 

"I don't need food," Mick said in a scratchy voice. Keith just looked at him confused.

"How do you not need it? You haven't ate anything since you came back to us..... C'mon man, you gotta eat something...." Keith said in a worried way. Mick just shook his head. He was indeed hungry but for human meat. He wasn't going to tell him that he wanted to eat humans. It would scare the living shit out of him. Charlie aggressively stepped on the breaks and caused the glimmer hoes to fly off of their seats. Dammit just wear your damn seatbelts you fucking dumbass! Jesus I hate this world! Bill looked at Charlie.

"Why did you stop in the middle of the bloody road!?" He yelled. Charlie pointed at a man with a red mullet and a lot of makeup. He stood there in front of the van. Mick looked out the windshield. He couldn't believe it.

"David!?" Keith yelled. "Wot in bloody hell are you doing here!?" David just slowly walked up to the door.

"Can I get a lift?" He asked. Mick quickly opened the door and pulled Bowie in. He gave him a tight hug and began to sob. The other hoes were confused as fuck.

"Oh David! I thought I'd never see you again!" Mick said as he cried tears of joy. Bowie hugged him back and gave him a couple pats on his back. Oh Keefey got so jelly of them.

"Seriously David, wot the fuck are you doing here?" Keef asked in an annoyed way.

"Jesus mate, just need a bloody ride to go to Ronno's bathroom house," He responded. Keef just rolled his eyes at him. Charlie began to drive. There is no way he is going to stop by at a guy's house. He hates everyone and just wants to go home.

Mick and David spent most of the trip cuddling with each other and whispering sweet nothings in their ears. Keef sat there watching them with his arms crossed. He could not believe that Bowie just stole his underwear hoe. Oh wait.... Mick doesn't wear those..... Sorry lolz. He got irritated at him that he attempted to shove him out of the van. Mick got so angry at him for doing that.

"Fuck off Monket! The hell is wrong with you!? Just leave him be you whore!" Mick yelled. Keef felt his heart shatter a little. Mick had replaced him with the alien whore. His vision began to water up. He turned away from them both and silently cried. Way to go Mick! Charlie was so done with them. He felt a hand run up to his crotch. He jumped and smacked it.

"Owie mate!" Bill yelled in response. Charlie just looked at him with a scared look. I swear to God he just wants to go home! Mick and David fell on top of Keef and began to make out. The fall caused Keef to die for a little bit.

"No! Not in here!" Charlie yelled as he took a sharp turn. They both flew out of their seats. Haha dumb fucks.

The Rolling Stones and David, had arrived at a cabin that was located in a Wal-Mart's bathroom.

"Pretty darn neat," David said. Mick just skilled at him and held his hand as they made their way into the house. Mick slipped in black paint and fell in the Home Alone style. Lolz. Nobody cared enough to help so they just all went to their bedrooms. Although Bill has his own room, he went to sleep with Charlie. Mick and Bowie went to sleep in their bedroom. Keef just stayed in the living room drinking fish oil and gas.

Bowie and Mick were cuddling together in bed. They both were hella horny so they began to touch each other and grind on one another. Bowie kissed him with tongue. He was quite tasty. They eventually ended up screwing each other and stared at the ceiling. Mick began to thirst over Bowie. He hovered over him and caressed his beautiful face. He began to kiss his neck. He sniffed it too and licked it. Bowie was enjoying it. Mick bit his neck and began to nibble on the meat. Bowie screamed in a lot of pain. Mick took a huge bite out of his neck and chewed on it. Bowie died. He then ate his brain and his toes.

"I'm sorry Davey....." Mick whispered to him. "I need to keep myself alive. He got off of his bed and headed out to the door. He looked around to see if anyone was around the living room. He didn't spot anyone so he headed to Charlie's room. Mick silently opened the door. Charlie and Bill were asleep. He slowly approached them as he licked his lips. "Oh you both look so delicious...." He whispered. Bill felt Mick getting closer. His eyes snapped open and saw Mick about to eat him.

"WOT ARE YOU DOING!?" He yelled as he kicked Mick off of the bed. That angered him and began to chase Bill around the room. Charlie woke up and saw them both running around. "Charlie! This whore wants to devour me!!" Bill yelled. Mick hissed at Charlie and targeted him. Bill threw a vase at him and took Charlie out of the room. They both went to get Keef to alarm him about Mick. Keef joined their escape plan. The three of them hopped in the van and tried to turn the engine on. All it did was make the engine do weird coughing sounds. The van was down. The three ran into the forest to hide from Mick. Keef saw him in the distance.

"Oh bloody hell! He's right behind us!" Keef yelled. They began to run faster. Mick was running after Bill. He ran as fast he could but unfortunately he tripped over a tree branch and twisted his ankle. Charlie turned to look at him. He panicked and was about to run to help him. Mick got to him before he could and ate his intestines and penis.

"NO!" Charlie yelled. He continued running to help him. Keef stopped Charlie before he could get to them.

"Don't! We gotta go! There's nothing we can do about it! Freddie said so in a song!" Keef yelled as he pulled Charlie away from them. He kept screaming for Bill and began to cry. They ran pretty far from Mick. They found a random abandoned shack and hid there. Charlie laid on the floor crying his eyes out. Keef went to him and tried to comfort him.

"There there buddy....." He began, "I know you loved him but there's nothing we can do..... Everything's going to be okay." Charlie shook his head. He could not believe that he saw his own bestie die in front of him. They heard footsteps out side. Keef peaked out of the window. Mick was around the area looking for them. Keef warned Charlie to keep quiet.

"Keef?" Mick said in a sad voice. "Keef c'mon.... I didn't mean to do that. You know me better than anyone else that I would never hurt anyone. I don't know wot happened. Keef please come out here and sing a song together."

Keith's eyes began to tear up. He searched around the shack to find some sort of weapon. He didn't want to kill his whore. He's known him for so long. He could even recognize the Mick that was outside of the shack. Mick heard footsteps approaching him and enabled his fightey mode. A man with a big nose attacked him. He hissed and fought him back. Keith quickly looked out the window and saw them both fighting. He could not believe it. Big Nose Whore put Mick down and began to stab him. Mick yelled in pain. Keith saw Big Nose stab him a couple more times until Mick's yelling stopped. Keith ran outside to them.

"R-Ron!?" He stuttered. "How did you find us!?" Ronnie just looked him. He stood up and took underwear out of his trousers.

"I used these to track you guys down and saw Mick killing Bill," He explained. "Wow! You Rolling Stones are super ugly and wild!"

Keith just stood there annoyed. He thought he had died in that giant explosion with Rod. Guess he was glad he was alive. Charlie came out of the shack and saw him. He was hella disappointed. Why did he have to come back? He didn't even matter that much.

"Oh well hello Charlie!" Ronnie said with a smile. No. He was not going to say hello to him back. Keith placed his arm around Ron and pulled him closer to him.

"Glad to have ya back Ron....." He added. Ronnie just smiled widely.

The three began to make their way back to the cabin. Charlie started to get bad vibes from Ron. Once they stepped inside, Ronnie closed the door and locked it. Keef and Charlie looked at him. They noticed that his eyes were also faded into a light blue shade. They both began to fear for their lives. Charlie pushed Keef and told him to run. Ronnie hissed and attacked Charlie.

"CHARLIE NO!" Keef yelled. He watched Ron slaughter Charlie up and ran out the window. Ronnie ran after him. They both kept running into the woods. Ron caught up to the monkey and managed to bite his foot. Keef fell and yelled in pain. He tried to escape from his grip. He spotted a pretty sharp branch. He stretched his arm out to grab it. Once he was able to get it, he used it to stab Ronnie. He stabbed him to death. He was in so much pain. Keef managed to crawl pretty far from the woods. He didn't think he was going to survive at all considering his foot was gone and was bleeding a lot.

Keith arrived at the police station. He was too weak to open the door so he laid in front of it. Hours passed by, a young man with long brown hair stepped out of the building and almost tripped over Keith. He saw him laying there unconsciously.

"Guys! Keith Richards is on the ground!" He yelled at the police cops. Fuck them Jesus I hate em. Two officers came out and saw Keith, who was pale and had faded blue eyes.

"No way!" One of them began, "Its the fucking guitarist of The Rolling Stones!"

Keith began to blink and spotted them fangirling over him. He began to thirst over them. He reached out to grab one of their legs and bit it. They all began to scream in fear. Keith managed to eat the other two. He sat there on the steps finishing up his meal. A short blonde man approached him. He was also pale and had faded blue eyes. He sat next to him.

"Well Richards....." He began, "You ate the three of them on your own?"

Keith just chuckled in response. "Hell yeah I did." The small one reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He offered one to Keef and lit it for him. They just both looked up at the sunny sky.

"You ready to begin your next slaughter house?" He asked. Keith blew out a cloud of smoke.

"You know it Jones," they both chuckled and gave each other a high five. Their zombie love began to grow.

writer's notes: Oh sweet Jesus! I have no idea what I just wrote! this is pretty damn stupid and weird. well it is called crack fanfic for a reason. lol zombies wtf is that? hope you guys enjoyed reading this stupid fanfic. also thank you for reading lolz.

#the rolling stones #mick jagger #keith richards #charlie watts #ronnie wood #brian jones #bill wyman #david bowie #cursed #cursed post #cursed content #crack fanfic #rolling stones fanfic #fanfic