#and then that brovado and facade is back

[wasme]

i’m thinking about eleven again and just how Angry he is. ten was angry sure but it seemed to come and go where as with eleven it’s pretty much always sat just below the surface and that’s So Important to me

#study . #i’ve spoken to a couple people about it lately and just #needed it on my blog #he’s so MAD all the time #like in ‘the time of angels’ he’s honestly so angry all the time except for moments when he thinks he show off #and then that brovado and facade is back #it’s So Important to remember cause like #it’s all so for show #i cry i’m giving him a hug #he needs therapy

[chanperino]

Short story #1

“He doesn’t want to work with us, I think he just finds it easier to do it on his own.” He hears as he walks away from his gathered colleagues. She was right. It was easier like this. No annoying distractions that would make him deviate from his work. That’s what he wanted to think. Truly wanted. But that doesn’t make it the truth. He knew if he sat with them, again wearing that mask, that facade, he would only be playing into this fantasy version of himself. The confident one who exudes a palpable brovado. Deep down, underneath that layer, he could feel them. Feel their eyes pierce and judge; mangle and poke at every fibre of his being, silently laugh at at the little piece of real-self confidence he has left. No.

It was easier to be alone.

He had built this wall, this tower of defence around himself to protect him from feeling again. He couldn’t. That hand that let go of his, that connection that faded was all too much for him to bear. He barely survived. He’s still trying to survive, to trudge through. But at what cost. Was this all living was? Surviving day-after-day, not building any meaningful connections to anyone around, filling any cracks that would appear whenever he was in front of people, but let them shine when he was alone. And that’s just what he was.

A rhythmic knock disrupts his mechanical typing. “Yeah, come in!” He called out. And just like that, the mask was back on.

#lonely #short story #alone #heart break